Gaijin Wife

2011-12-06T05:53:00.001+09:00

on the plane. so far so good.

NEW BLOG

2011-08-21T20:52:00.000+09:00

I have realized that my blogspot profile leads back to this and I can't change it to wordpress. I don't want to delete this blog but IF you are new here I currently blog at

http://www.gaijinwife.wordpress.com

xxx

2010-10-20T18:24:00.001+09:00

have been sleeping on couch for three nights and not even fighting with hub! down to reunion tomorrow.

don't do it

2010-10-18T10:13:00.001+09:00

do not EVER travel on a plane with three children under five. EVER. just dont even think about it.fuckin crackhead nightmare beyond words. Dont worry, it will get words. Makes me want to start hyperventilating more than birth story. No story till can get to a computer as left mobile charger in car. and that was before I went 30 hours and counting without sleep. now? at this very moment I should probably be institutionalised. just bought bloody kitchen towels instead of loo paper. organic though. right, cant waste precious battery on u lot. sdgh&ql

Movers Have Arrived

2010-08-19T10:35:00.003+09:00

http://gaijinwife.wordpress.com/

I tried to make this a link but it kept getting direct to search engine.

I have decided to keep the blog public and just have password protected posts when I need to. Password will be sent out to people that commented and emailed. I still haven't figured out how to move posts over to wordpress yet. This blog will be author accessible only in a couple of days.

If you have me on your blogroll and want to keep me there please change my address to gaijinwife.wordpress.com

SDGH&QL

Blog Changes

2010-08-18T21:14:00.000+09:00

Yesterday's post has been deleted. Thank you for all your comments.

In 48 hours I will be restricting this blog to invited readers only while I decide where to move it. Wordpress? Typepad? I have just made a wordpress account and will try and get that sorted or else I will use typepad or livejournal. Any suggestions or advice about the move would be greatly appreciated.

I know this sounds very presumptuous but I can only 'invite' 100 readers. I know that around or more than that number of readers read gaijinwife on a regular basis.

If you would like me to 'invite' you please email me at gaijinwife at gmail dot com - or if you don't mind having your email on a comment please comment to this post.

If I get more than 100 requests I will give preference to followers and regular commenters. Sorry if that seems unfair.

If I know you please don't think I will include you automatically. You may be sick of all my shit and therefore I will only include you if you ask me to.

Sorry for the shove around, especially as I plan on changing blogs soon anyway. I'm just not technically with it enough to get all this sorted in one night. Obviously, with all the time I have on my hands what with my two older kids being in day care 24/7 I may have loads of time tomorrow to sort it out. We'll see aye.

SDGH&QL

PS - I can invite you through any email address you state but you can only view the blog if you have a google account - which is very easy to set up and wont mean sending loads of money to an offshore account.

Back to Life

2010-08-17T10:14:00.001+09:00

The ancestors got escorted back to the grave yesterday after hub got home from work. Ryu now has his room back to himself and for the first time in four nights had an uninterrupted sleep. Now that he is more mobile he will stand up after I put him down the first time. Had to rock him to sleep but if he is tired anyway, and then I clean his ears (he loves it) then he usually drops off in a couple of minutes. This is good news for the plane trip and our trip home. I never thought I'd live to see the day when I am glad that I can rock my baby to sleep. Up until now it was a definite no go. Plane trip followed by three different motels and being able to rock him to sleep will help I think.

Of course I could just ask dad to write a prescription for horse tranquilizers and work out a toddler dose for those.

But I'm trying. Trying to turn over a new mummy leaf and be all bloody positive and rays of sunshine. I even thought very briefly yesterday that perhaps I would start an 'art hour' after they get home from kinder - or half an hour - where we sit down and do something that I have actually organized - as opposed to just throwing them some crayons and bits of paper. This would mean I could push dinner back to six and their bed time to half seven or eight. Marina is going through a period of getting up at half four. Shou did it at the same age. Marina's isn't as bad as Shou though because she is quiet. Yesterday she didn't even wake hub and I up - just snuck on past our room, down the stairs, and into Granny K's room :D That's a good girl.

Managed to turn the house round after the fiasco that was Obon. Futons got put away, blankets put into vacuum air sucked bags and stored rah rah. Got a good hours sleep with Ryu - bliss. Or rather, at the same time as Ryu but in my own bed.

Did level 2 of the Shred - arrrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhh. I think I was feeling guilty from not being able to do it on Sunday. Was punishing myself. And punishment it was. Shit woman. It's OK for you, you spend half the workout walking round talking and not doing the exercises. The other two girls don't even break a sweat and here I am in a puddle of sweaty yoga matt stickiness. Heinous. But very satisfying. Dare I say it but I think I might be starting to crave that post workout genki skinny feeling of elation.

Did it again this morning. I am not sore in any particular part of my body. There is a general 'I've done exercise' haze of throbby soreness throughout but nothing in particular. This means that the first level has done it's job. This means that I am building muscle. This means that there is no weight loss yet because I am building extremely heavy muscle. This means that one day soon I am going to look in the mirror and realize I have gone straight from flummy to Madonna.

I'm going to have to stop myself at fabulous first and calm down a bit.

But that is a wee way away yet.

Oh, and in other very exciting news. Shou has gone two nights in a row without a night nappy. Praise the lord. Long may it last.

Spoke to mum yesterday. She started round two of chemo yesterday and had gone down for an appointment at the oncology unit first. Everything is going 'as you would expect' - but on the good end. As in, for a 60 year old with her prognosis she is doing on the better end. No doubt due to the good state of her health before this all started. I still really don't get concrete answers although apparently my dad told my brother that if mum can last two years then she will be in that small portion of people (her age and with her prognosis) who can last up to five years. I'm not quite sure what this means and how it is meant to make us feel but! Really it means that their is a bigger statistical chance that she wont last two years?

Anyhoo, Time to sort the house out for today, get something ready for English this afternoon.

SDGH&QL

Can Someone Cancel Obon Next Year Pretty Fuckin Pleeeeeease

2010-08-15T22:34:00.004+09:00

(this is a very long post - be warned)

Can someone cancel obon next year - pretty fuckin please and with a cherry on top.

For days leading up to Obon, during Obon and a few days after Kunimi (and I imagine most rural areas in Japan) get overtaken by trendy clothed city folk with their out of town car plates - Nagoya, Kyoto, Hiroshima, Yamaguchi, Kochi, Kumamoto and Kitakyushu just to name a few. Definitely a large portion of Kunimi moved to Kitakyushu as there were shitloads of Kita Q cars around.

Obon festivities are usually held at one's 'jikka' - or the family home, where there will be a 'butsudan' or family alter and nearby a 'haka' or family grave. Traditionally the 'chonan' or eldest son resides in the 'jikka' and either lives close to or with the 'vestling bitch' or vestling bitch - quite commonly referred to as the 'shuutome' or mother in law or 'ofukuro' - which doesn't mean nice bag (although that wouldn't be a bad translation) or owl, but rather is endearment term for one's own mother. And that's enough of the Japanese lesson - some of these words it is just easier to put in Japanese though so now that you have mastered Obon Japanese 101...

For non jikka people Obon usually means packing up the car and driving in horrendous traffic to return to almost abandoned looking house in rice paddy town in some rural part of Japan, to light incense at the 'haka' and the 'butsudan' to welcome back the spirits of their dead ancestors. It also usually means having to endure home cooked foodstuffs by vestling bitch who needs to have an audience at least once a year for her culinary skills, which she herself believe to be of a much higher caliber than the people consuming her enoki mushroom miso soup and pickled cucumbers.

For those unfortunate enough to actually be the 'jikka', Obon is a fun filled weekend of cleaning, cooking, airing old futons, airing old bags... no shit. That's not right. She does need a good belt with one of those futon dust away thrashers though. It also means, especially if you are the wife married to the eldest son (as opposed to the eldest son himself who can get away with jack shit), A LOT of stress. If you happen to be a gaijin wife then add in all that extra 'fuuuuuuuuuuuuck, vesting bitch has left fifty cups on the table for me to use, ten sets all of varying pattern and expensive lookingness - which do I use for which guests and am I allowed to use one myself or should I be lapping beer from the cat dish outside?

Oh and hub is the THIRD son and we have all the 'jikka' responsibilities.

SO anyway, enough faffing around, on to Obon.

Saturday morning was spent as you would expect. Hub took the kids to kinder for their half day and then went straight to the fish markets to pick up some paua (awabi) and some sea snails (sazae). He had been saying all week that he and brother will be drinking beer and bbq-ing paua on the deck. Can't deny the man really. He only sees his brother about three times a year. Do you know how much the bastards cost? He came home with a grand total of THREE Paua - $60 (3,500 yen) for three and $15 for three snails.

While he was at the market I did day six of the Shred. He came home and the cleaning began. The house wasn't a mess but there were lots of things that needed doing. The kind of things that you can't do the day before because with three small children you would just end up having to do them again anyway. Floors, windows (the ones the kids have left rows of smeary dirty hands on), raking the leaves (the ONE tree in our yard drops a million leaves a day), the genkan (front door and shoe area), the kitchen and the bathroom - which even though I did do the other day hub required it to be done again. Fair enough. I did it when I had my shower after shredding, raking, vacuuming, polishing and wiping on and wiping off.

Ryu had a slight temperature so I was allowed out of the house alone to go and pick up supplies for dinner. What a treat. I haven't been longer distances than the local supermarket on my own in ages. Diet cola in the drink holder, Macey on the speakers, aircon on 19 and away we go. Shopping during Obon is like shopping the day before Christmas - fucking chaos. I had a list of what I needed and I was striding down those isles, a woman on a mission. First up - 5,000 yen ($80) tray of ready cooked things for dinner. These are usually only on sale during Obon, golden week and new years - the times when people come to stay and people can't be faffed cooking loads of food for guests. Mushrooms of course - for Granny K's miso soup, beer, beer, beer, grapes that cost more than a months wages for some poor woman sewing the nike label onto jump suits in China, and supplies for breakfast.

Got home and Shou and Marina had been picked up from kinder and were already in the midst of water slide heaven...

Eldest son, wife, daughter, son in law and two kids arrived at three. They dropped some bags in the front door and then headed off the the 'haka' with a bunch of flowers, a big bottle of water, some incense and some matches. They arrive back, pray at the 'butsudan' and then hub cranks up the BBQ for the paua and snails. Somebody has to go pick up the sashimi that has been ordered and I am the likely contender so offer to take both Shou and Marina. I just about vomit in the fish shop as is hundred years old, scodey and although I know the fish are fresh that day I really think the women would have trouble meeting osh kosh safety standards or whatever the hygiene equivalent is. About twelve cats are waiting for fish too. Get in line buddy. I'm the one with the cash. Take sashimi and bag of fish bits home past the store to get butter. When I got back to the car with the fish Shou was on (my) phone to hub. I didn't even know he knew how to use my phone. Hub needed butter for the BBQ-ed paua.

Home James and hub, eldest son and my nieces husband (nephew in law??) are on the deck with paua and beer. Shou joins them (what a bloke) and us women and small children hide inside with the aircon. We aren't sitting inside painting our fuckin nails. They are on toddler and baby watch while I set about getting dinner sorted - which is just really setting things out, cutting fruit, arranging food and the likes but still ... we DO NOT need the list of orders being barked at us from the men. Ooooooooooi, bitches inside there, get us some chopsticks. Ooooooooooooi, woman, I need some paper towels. Ooooooooooooi, cook me some eggs. When hub poked his head in the door and asked after dinner and was it coming out to them on a silver fuckin plater my sister in law looked at me and I was very restrained in saying that I thought he had two of his own hands and legs and could they not somehow propel him inside to pick up a plate himself? I think I may have been holding a meat cleaver and a frypan at the time I said it.

The rest of the evening was pretty much chaos. Kids were fed and put in the bath. Shou and Marina hadn't had naps as I was hoping I could get them down as easily as I did when Illahee was here on Tuesday. I asked hub to please not mention the Obon dancing that night that started at 8pm. Shou wanted to go but he was in such a state and if hub refrained form mentioning it for a few hours I may well just get away with getting Shou to bed. Hub was a bit pished. In an effort to bribe Shou into doing something he played the Obon dancing card. He would take him, IN THREE HOURS, to the drumming and dancing, IF he stopped trying to turn the Paua over with the tongs.

Shou was soooooooo tired by 8pm but no way was he going to bed. He left with hub and then eldest son and Granny K walked off down the road to it too. Ryu was a complete bastard all night.

I know he doesn't look like much of a bastard in this pic but it is 10pm and him and I are the only ones still up. Well him, me and baikinman peeking out from behind the fire. Didn't get him to sleep until 2am and then he was awake again at 5am. There was a lot of huha involved with the baby cot and such and I doubt very much that eldest son will be back to stay for at least four years, by which time all kids should be sleeping on their own. How very fuckin painful.

Anyway, can't say I was in my most sprightliest of moods this morning. That aside, I got up and sorted out breakfast buffet of scrambled eggs, sausages, potato salad, rolls, fruit and assortment of drinks with assortment of 50 glasses to choose from. Everybody up and about by half seven and Granny K comes in with rice and miso soup. I was too tired to fight but we had had this conversation two days ago and then yesterday.

Two days ago...
Me: What's happening with breakfast on the Sunday?
Granny K: I'll make rice and soup.
Hub: You did that two years ago when they stayed and nobody ate it cause they are a bread and fruit for breakfast family.
Granny K: But they like my miso soup.
Hub: OK then, will you fix breakfast on Sunday.
Granny K: Yes.
Hub: OK Katy, you don't need to do anything. Is that OK mum?
Granny K: Yes.
Me: Sweet as. Score. You Beauty .... ..... .....

Yesterday Morning before I go shopping....
Me: So I don't need to get anything for breakfast then?
Hub: No, mum is making it all.
Granny K: actually you do it Katy. Get the eggs and stuff and I'll just do soup for dinner.
Me: OK, no worries. Ittekimaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasu.

This morning - I make lovely buffet. Everyone awakes and comes in here and just as hub is telling them buffet breakfast of fabulous looking spread is self service Granny K walks in with rice and soup already dished out in bowls. This kind of thing has happened a lot before but it is amplified by fact that I have had very little sleep and Marina and Shou are outside in their pajamas without shoes on trying to catch crabs in the meter deep concrete drain by the neighbors house - while hub 'supervises' them from 30 meters away and behind a tree, a deck and a wall.

Shou spends a good half hour explaining the intricacies of stag beetles to his two year old second cousin ??, it is his cousin's son so what would that be?? And yes the beetles do get a ride on the dump truck. All six of them.

Ryu refuses to have a morning nap and must be running on near empty the poor lad. He is soooooo tired. Just as eldest son and co are about to leave Granny K's older brother, the priest who married hub and I, arrives decked out in priestly gears. He was 'in the neighborhood' doing priestly stuff and thought would drop in.

From left - Granny K, the microwave, Granny K's brother the priest, nephew in law (??), niece, eldest son holding two year old grandson, sister in law, Marina.

Just as they are about to pull out of the drive way Granny K's younger sister (also her cousin - as Granny K's mother died and her father shacked up with the younger sister) turns up with her husband and their eldest son and HIS family of fours. Bloody hell.

More drinks to sort out, another forty minutes of talking to people I don't know (I know the younger sister and her husband but have never met their offspring before) while trying to stop Shou from driving ALL his toy trucks over the younger sister's husband's head.

Guest are all gone and I am thankful that this kind of Obon only happens every couple of years. Hopefully. I had a bit of a meltdown this afternoon. Ryu didn't sleep again this morning and I was sick of having him constantly at my side. Poor thing. Anyway, I saw Shou pull the cat by it's tail and I lost it - I uptipped their paddling pool and put it to dry, turned off the hose and packed up my clingy baby and drove off the premises. But before I left I noticed an envelope stuck to the fridge...

From my sister in law. She had tried to give me 10,000 yen the night before. I tried to refuse, she shoved it down my top (seriously), so I blind sided her and gave it back to her husband. This says thank you for having us. It's not much but please use this money to buy something yummy. Take care of yourself in this friggen heat.

If she is going to resort to such measures then I will go ahead and pocket the money.

Thanks SIl.

And that is the end of Obon for us. Soooooo over it. Tomorrow will be spent airing out futons again before they get put away, doing shitloads of washing and

sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeping.

And well done anybody that actually read all that rambling shit.

SDGH&QL

You can't just barge in!

2010-08-13T20:39:00.002+09:00

Last night hub came home from drinking with the lads quite pished and frisky, so much so that it made me wonder what the lads had been talking about. I kept his hands at bay while we had a beer and watched some TV. He was, in his own words, trying to give me a 'nyugan special kensa' - special breast cancer examination. Sigh. My husband is 45 people!!

Anyway, it was quite obvious that there was to be an international relations meeting before the night ended. He was just so much friskier than usual that I got a bit of a shock and actually said to him, in English,

'You can't just barge in'....

meaning him barging in through the saloon doors. It was all just a bit fast.
The only bit he picked up on was the 'barge in' - 'bar-gin' which is the katakana way of saying 'virgin'. He looked at me as if I had just made a comment about self being virgin - or something similar which I feel doesn't need repeating. But fuck it made me laugh. One of those giggles you can't stop even though the situation reeeeeeaaaaaaaaaly doesn't call for it. Tis a wonder the meeting got concluded at all :D

So that's enough about that.

Today was not the day it was meant to be. I walked the kiddies to kinder, came home and did the Shred and then spoke to a friend in NZ - who was due with her third (in three years) yesterday. Anyway, she is still with child but hopefully not for too much longer. I had emailed my friend the Blender (Belinda) to see if she wanted to meet for sushi seeing as I was planning on going over to the baby shop to get a new kiddy futon cover for Shou's nap futon set. He (quite enjoyably according to the teachers) ripped it last week. As I was standing in my towel after post-shred shower Granny K comes in. I actually have a bra on and towel round waist and am still on phone to friend.

The middle son is coming home from Shikoku and will be here in two hours. Heeeeeeellllloooooooo!!! The middle son is fucken useless to be perfectly honest. Never rings Granny K up, didn't even know we had a third child - but that's hub's fault too, and even missed his fathers houji (17 year anniversary of his death) last year - or was it the year before.

Granny K said he had rung a couple of days ago and made out that he may or may not be coming home but that he would ring if they were. And he did. They left Shikoku yesterday, stayed at some random hotel in Yufuin last night and are staying in Hakata tonight. Granny hasn't seen her son for four years and they come all this fuckin way and stay for TWO hours. I'm not sure if that is testament to fact that son is useless inconsiderate prick or that Granny K is just not who you would choose to spend 24 hours with. Of course I'm a fuckin legend as I have spent coming up ohhh, 39420 hours with her.

Of course it meant I had to quickly ring friend, cancel sushi, forget shopping, get changed, clean house, whip to supermarket with every other man, woman and child in a 50km radius, buy some lunch - seeing as even though son had said they wouldn't need lunch they were arriving right on that time of day when normally you would be consuming said meal. They arrived, they ate, they prayed and they left...

Ryu was in great form and spent most of the time WALKING (holding on) around the table. Now that he is up and moving he wants to stand at every opportunity. I went in before and he was standing in his cot. Arrrgghhhh. It has begun. I am now expecting a few weeks of difficult sleep routine while he gets used to standing and the novelty that he can stand and peek over the edge of his cot wears off.

Son brought with him a picture of their daughter - a professional one taken at her coming of age ceremony. It was lovely. Not lovely enough of course for it to compensate fact that they haven't brought her to see Granny K in over 10 years. When we went to Shikoku when I was pregnant with Marina we invited Granny K and she was all up for it but then son said they didn't have room for her to stay so Granny K got in a huff and instead of staying in a hotel (like we were) she didn't go.

Anyhoo, the daughter is at varsity in Osaka now and is so busy with school, work, and slappery (she has many boyfriends according to her father) that she hardly goes home to see her parents. Granny K's outlook on the situation - she's a selfish bitch but what do you expect, look at the way she was raised.

Christ, I wonder what the woman says about me.

Actually I know what she says and I choose to ignore it in favor of world peace.

My sister in law gave me a few 'fuck this woman is on crack and seriously fucked up' looks and together we formed an alliance. My other sister in law is also part of this but me thinks they are just bloody glad they don't have to live with the woman. Amen. Wouldn't that be nice.

They left around 2pm and Ryu and I had a wee nap, pottered round a bit and then hub rocked on home at 4pm. For a second there I thought I was going to be dragged to the chambers for some 'barging in' but he came home early so he could take Granny K to the grave to 'bring home the ancestors' for the weekend. They get taken back next week some time. Ryu sleeps in the alter room so I hope he doesn't get woken by the ancestral party going on in there for the next four days or so.

The kids are all asleep and I think hub has probably fallen asleep too, although I imagine he will miraculously remember that he gets XXXXX in return for the neck massage I got an hour ago.

SDGH&QL

Portable Festivities

2010-08-12T22:03:00.000+09:00

Tonight hub had and his crowd of yellow t-shirted crownies had to drum and sing at two local 'welcoming back of the dead ancestors' festivals. Not really festival. Everyone congregates at the house 'celebrating' the first obon anniversary of their deceased loved one. Drummers and singers play the local dance tunes and everyone dances in circle around them, receiving free sake and packets of crisps.

Tonight's festivities were only about a hundred meters up the road and started earlier than usual due to having two in a row - so we decided to all go, with Granny K promising to help keep an eye on chaos, mayhem and cuteness.

The very second we got there she takes off with a friend to the house of the second festival - to pray and then comes back fifteen minutes later and asks why the hell I aren't bloody dancing for free crisps. Oh, you mean the baby on my hip, the two year old on speed running in the middle of the circle and the four year old who is AWOL aren't enough reason? So I dance with baby on hip while Marina does crack induced sway, clap and fall over routine while Shou and his five year old bad-ass friend try to bowl with fishing buoys.

Hub hasn't even started his drumming yet - he is too busy getting made to squiff beer and sake.

This is the portable festival - drum, umbrella, light and speaker on the back of a K-truck. It all stays on here and one man stands up there and sings and the drummer stands behind the truck and belts away. And then everyone dances...

Ryu had been dressed in his festival outfit but the other two missed out due to lack of actually having one.

I brought Ryu and Marina home after the first one and put them straight to bed. Shou and Granny K arrived home half an hour later but hub was no where to be seen.

GW: (to Granny K) Where's hub?
Granny K: no idea
GW: was he staying to drink with the lads?
Granny K: no idea. Are my crisps still in the push chair?
GW: um, yeah. Wonder where he is then.

Rings hub.

GW: where the fuck are you?
Hub: drinking with the lads. Be home in an hour.
GW: could you not have told me?
Hub: I told Granny K.
GW: While either your mouth doesn't work or her ears are painted on cause she doesn't know where the fuck you are. See you later. (shuts phone)

After getting Shou to sleep I do actually mail him and tell him to take his time and that all is quiet in the house of GW.

Oh and,

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllp. The sinking porta cot - as in similar to sinking sand - as in getting sucked in and can't get out....

This was this morning. He was out cold. Suffocation by strawberry baby blanket.

Needless to say I have removed the half moon pillow and replaced it with a normal one. My cute little rockstar, engulfed in pink strawberries :D

And before I sign off, had big talk to mum today. She had a fabulous time in OZ and sounded so good. I think the steroids are effecting her a bit but all in all sounding great. Back onto chemo drugs on Monday :( Shou got on the phone and said Good Morning, Love you Granny and Goodbye. She asked after Marina's English ability and I said that if her conversation consisted of

'Put your Shoes on'
'Brush your Teeth'
'Sit down and eat those'
'Fe, Fi, Fo, Fum' and
'for fucks sakes'

then she could probably have a very good talk with her.

Looking forward to October anyway.

SDGH&QL

Champers and Gin Squiffery

2010-08-11T20:35:00.001+09:00

In the middle of a very drawn out toilet session with Marina. I am STOKED she will use the big toilet upstairs now and STOKED that she tells me that she needs to go before bed but I am not stoked that it takes five times over the course of half an hour. As it happens she will probably be out of her night time nappy before Shou. What a difference it will make only having one child left in nappies. Praise the fuckin lord.

So, to explain about poppochan, who was quite surprisingly well and sprightly this morning after last nights squiffery of beer, champers, gin and vodka. The photo - the chunder was indeed chunder. One year old baby chunder. Poppochan just happened to be on the floor near by when it happened at dinner time. I had nothing to do with it. I just took the photo. Illahee forced me to do it and then held a loaded gin bottle to my head as I posted it at 8:19pm last night - at which time we had SIX of SIX small children in bed ASLEEP and were on our hmmmmm, only second drink. Very tame and perhaps surprising to those of you who thought we might be pissed and letting the kids fix their own dinner by five.

There were no afternoon naps, hence the excellent bed times. It was a fun afternoon. I picked Marina and Shou up after lunch and then we came home and, holy shit I never thought I'd write this, spent a whole hour doing puzzles. Oh. My. God. I think I'm still in disbelief that this kind of thing is even possible with a four and nearly three year old.

Illahee and her trio of well behaved and adorable children arrived around two and Jo not long after with her two older ones. Pool time, sliding into the pool time, sliding into the pool with legs in the air time, putting kabotomushi in the pool time, rah rah.

Jo left and we got the kids an early dinner of Costcos pizza (yum) and Illahee's homemade lasagna (double yum - and triple yum as had leftovers for dinner tonight!). Somehow I think we then managed to get all troops through the bath and into pajamas.

Hub was home in time to help with bed and then to help with champers and then gin. We didn't get too annihilated I must admit. I didn't even cry - and gin usually makes me do that. Thank god Illahee didn't stop at Rachels on the way and get the bourbon that was on offer as bourbon really fucks me sideways and makes me do stupid things like pushing friends round the supermarket carpark in trollies. Obviously lack of trolly and lack of supermarket carpark would mean I would be forced to be more imaginative had bourbon been being consumed.

Fortunately Illahee took the half bottle of leftover gin and almost full bottle of vodka home with her or else I would have been in rehab by Sunday. God forbid, or perhaps even Friday afternoon.

I didn't get the best nights sleep with several little feet in my face at different stages of the night and in different beds. Marina was the culprit mainly. Ryu wasn't too fussed that he was sleeping in Shou's bed. At my 5:30am wakeup I was expecting to feel a bit more delicate than I was. Surprisingly though all as good in the land of gin induced hangovers and I was able to rally through the breakfast lark. Decided to get my two out of the equation though and packed them off to kinder. Illahee and I drank coffee and gassed all morning and then she packed her tired three into the car for the long drive home.

Guests gone, house tidy and I had one of two options. Nap with Ryu or Shred. And guess what. I chose to Shred. Excellent signs of willpower there and putting self in good stead to actually get to 30 days. Today was only day 3 though and after food consumption horrors yesterday I am a bit scared of my Friday weighing but still - I did every single squat, lunge and press-ups (knees) today and even managed the minute of bicycle ab crunches at the end. Go me. Dare say it, I am almost looking forward to doing it tomorrow!

English class over, dinner and bath and bed routine ditto and here we are, at the end of another day in la casa de gaijinwife.

I wish I had taken more than the poppochan chunder pic yesterday but I didn't. There was a great kodak moment when Illahee's three were all lined up in the bath but I draw the line at posting other people's kids naked.

English cancelled tomorrow due to obon dancing and taiko drumming. Granny K has to go to it and hub has to drum in it so nobody to babysit during English. Starts early as there are two different places in a row. Perhaps we will all get out to the first one. The Jury is still out. Will probably come down to how many mozzies are out and about.

Nearly the weekend - fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. That means eldest brother coming to stay and the house needs to be in much cleaner state than present. Have to do shit like clean the bloody windows - boring.

Nighty night

SDGH&QL

Illahee is a BAD Influence

2010-08-10T20:19:00.000+09:00

End Post

SGH&QL

The SHRED Part II

2010-08-09T21:44:00.001+09:00

Started the SHRED again this morning. I really want to get the whole 30 days in a row. After a week off due to headaches and colds and general laziness it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. A couple of days ago I started watching The Biggest Loser Australia episodes and I think I'm hooked. Jillian is great but some of the contestants would fuck me off big time. National bloody television and calling someone a slapper?? Please. Get a blog.

It has been very motivational though. If these 150kg people can do two hour workouts with Jillian I can handle 20 minutes a day. It is pretty much exercise focused so not much of the food side of it so perhaps I still have a bit of leeway with finding excuses to eat what I want :p

I wrote a list of stuff to get through today. Is anybody else like this....when I write a list I put random shit on it just so that I have more on it and therefore the opportunity to cross more things off - cause that's really the purpose isn't it? Not the actual outcome of getting things done but the physical crossing off of things off the list. So today I did some random chores like taking the empty beer bottles to the shop. Why? Illahee isn't going to give a shit and my brother in law for sure isn't going to wonder why I haven't taken the three boxes of empties at the back of the shed to the shop?? It is however one of those jobs that you keep thinking you need to do but don't. In the end it takes no time at all. In fact after parking the car at the shop (which I drive past every day) it takes exactly 2 minutes and 43 seconds to get out of the car, tell the lady I have empties, unload the empties, wait for the lady to get my 310 yen, make a silly face at Ryu in through the backseat window and get back into the car.

OK, so that was a guess there. I don't walk round with a stopwatch.

The bank, the post office, the drycleaners, the supermarket (no fuckin GIN??? Hmmmm. Only Vodka and Whisky and usual Japanese suspects of Sake and Shochu), then cleaning the range hood (outside not inside - inside hasn't been cleaned in looooooong time and I'm too scared to get in there), top of cupboards and other random shit that no-one will notice. Made me feel like the house was cleaner in general though!!

Folded three loads of washing while watching more Biggest Loser. I could see Granny K resisting the urge to tell me I spent too much time on the computer and to perhaps spend more time playing with my son. Would you believe that Ryu is quite happy to watch fat people play soccer though? Yeah OK, guess I really need to get to the end of it.

Lashed rain late this afternoon and I hope that was it and tomorrow is a nice day.

Shou said a great thing to hub....

パパ... ニュージーランドでさ... 英語が流行ってるって知ってた？
dad, did you know that English is 'in' in New Zealand (although sounds a lot better in Japanese)

He really is understanding a lot of what I say to him now and it will be interesting to see if he comes out with more when faced with being surrounded by English for ten days when we go home in October.

Hub is watching news on TV which leads me to believe he is waiting for us to 'hit the futon' together. Three days in a row aye. I suggested a meeting last night thinking he would decline as had sore back. Apparently his sore back and shagging is akin to cake and betsubara (separate stomach - meaning that even if you are really full from eating dinner there is always room for cake).

We'll see...

SDGH&QL

Sunday in pics

2010-08-08T20:16:00.001+09:00

International Relations Meeting last night put the man in a good mood. Poor thing has been a bit deprived you see what between me starting the Shred and then getting four day headache and then being snot central - meant I was too sore to spread em, head throbbing too much to concentrate on appropriate Japanese women sex noises, and well, shagging with two bits of scrunched up tissue stuffed up your nostrils just isn't polite.

Today was predominately a good family day. Very long but then a 5am start and only one out of three children napping will do that. Today in pics... (and yes, more crabs and more children. sigh)

7am crab find. Caught with the BBQ tongs.

The cat wants one to play with.

Shou's Rocket.

With buttons and hard to see red pipecleaners (fire) coming out the bottom.

Great spot about 20 minutes away. Today was our first ever visit there. Don't know why we never went sooner. So so perfect.

We didn't take togs but who cares. The water was so warm - could have almost tipped some into a flask for some coffee.

Home for more water fun sliding into the paddling pool.

And hosing Shou down so he can test out his goggles. All good.

Marina had a meltdown due to no afternoon nap and ended up getting in trouble for dangerous antics on the bike - seriously we nearly fell into a rice paddy. she was in the kiddy seat on the back - unbuckled the belt and had her feet up on my shoulders.

Sister in law rang this morning to appologise for brother in law's phone call yesterday - inviting their whole family for the night next weekend. She didn't know anything about it at the time! Typical. She was horrified, but not enough so to suggest they book the onsen place. Granny K has gone into a futon and pillow frenzy. She told me to take everything out of the futon cupboard. Half of it is still on the floor, she went on and on about the musty smell of a few things and I suggested we biff them, she agreed and then tried to stop me as I was squashing them into rubbish bags. Sorry lady, out they go. Besides, have almost brand new set in 'my futon cupboard' in the other room. Perhaps she thinks these have been dirtied by the the few gaijin that have slept on them.

The four bean pillows also got biffed as they are about 20 years old and I think you'd just about make yourself unconscious breathing on them. She got hub to take her out to buy more this afternoon - fortunately she copped on and got real pillows this time. I don't mind the traditional bean ones but it's almost harder to find them in the shops and besides, if you have a bit to drink and zonk out with a whack of the head on the pillow you could just about knock yourself out cold.

Anyhoo, best clean some of this mess up. Fricken pitt that we live in on Sundays. Have loads of important stuff to do tomorrow, like buy gin and vacuum.

Shit, am also meant to start back on the Shred.

SDGH&QL

Boringness

2010-08-07T20:26:00.000+09:00

Hub is off drumming at the local 'return of the dead' festival and has taken Shou with him - who has a wine box strapped to his back with glue on buttons (thanks mummy) and red pipe cleaners shooting out the bottom aka fire and rocket pack. Granny K has also gone as just up the road. She said she would take Marina with her - twenty minutes after I started the bed routine so unfortunately Marina misses out.

Her and Ryu are now both up watching the carebears. Ryu is actually trying to smash the stag beetle box with a big mettle ambulance but we'll just pretend he's watching.

I am so sick of rogue insects escaping from their respective bangkok hiltons. Came across two stag beetles when I woke up this morning and a couple of grass hopers throughout the day - just casually hanging out in our lounge. The whole lot of them miraculously made a departure before Shou got home from kinder and the grass got cut - meaning grass hopper heaven no longer. The bug king still managed to catch eight new ones. Fuck it.

Hub went and cleaned the family grave this morning - cut the grass around it and cleaned the tomb (?). I am usually on helping duties but was 'too sick' this morning so got banished to bed to get better god damn it. I of course jumped at the opportunity to drink ice coffee and doss round on the internet. We took Ryu to sushi but I think he has reached the age now when taking him out isn't an easy outing. It wasn't a heinous trip it was just not as pleasant as it was a month ago when he was a bit less curious and down right fuckin mad and crazy. hurling shit all over the floor.

The kids home from kinder and...

Marina was your typical two and a half year old girl. Crown, Pink, Puricure, and Mummy's Shoes... and Shou was....

a typical four year old boy - climbing through the deck with his magnifying glass to go get bugs.

Ryu was being his usual cute self...

It was a bit of a fabric softener add evening. Until dinner when serious threats were issued to get children to eat cold noodles, fried pork and fruit - odd combination but this is Japan so you can get away with putting fruit next to meat next to egg roll next to shrimp next to sushi rice - and all cold if you want. Baths were had and for a brief ten seconds Marina and Shou were

God, these moments are few and far between. A fight broke out about what color Marina was using to color Ultraman or Shinkenja Red or whoever she is coloring in.

Ohhhhh, they have just been so cute - Ryu and Marina (as others at festival). Lucky the camera was close to hand..

Oh, and I probably shouldn't write this but nevermind. Hub came up behind me during all the evening fiasco and did the hip grind. Shou and Marina were busy coloring but Ryu was on his pillow having his milk and saw us - and cracked up. Now every time hub does the air hip grind Ryu is in hysterics. Shou saw Ryu laughing and tried to hip grind as well. Not quite the same though and Ryu wasn't that impressed. Was one of those 'guess you have to be there' moments :D

And got 'just the best' text from mum from OZ. Yay. Fun holidays mum.

See you soon.

SDGH&QL

New Addition

2010-08-06T20:55:00.000+09:00

And no, that doesn't mean I'm up the duff. A title to a post about that would definitely have the word fuck in it somewhere and possibly oversized spider.

Today I went to the small family-run electronics shop that installed Granny K's aircon. - to pay. After faffing round with eco-points and whatnot I ask if the very cool baikingu man (バイキングマン) that they have standing up is 'available' - actually I said that would they mind ringing us when it got all old and scodey so they couldn't have it on display anymore.

I walked out the door with it so supreme are my powers of persuasion. Actually that had nothing to do with it. Luck it was. Pure luck.

Isn't he great! The kids were well stoked for all of ten seconds but I'm still a happy camper.

Had an extremely lazy day with Ryu - him and me both under the weather and with me losing perhaps a tenth of my body weight in hanamizu (snot) . The headache seems to have gone which means the supposed brain tumor has moved to the back of my nose and sinuses! Sore everything and all I really want is to not deal with three small children for the weekend.

Naughty mummy - especially after Ryu fell down the stairs (again) this morning. Same scenario as last time. He was in the walkie round thing on the deck. The gates were closed but then SHou and Marina went down to the garden. The gate was left open and even though both hub and I were out side we didn't notice until we heard the scream. Poor wee thing. Big red bruise on side of head but seems to be his usual self - that said though he is still up at 9pm and playing with books at my feet. Not having a bar of the sleep thing but he did get two massive sleeps in today (thanks love).

And nothing else to report - I didn't weigh in today so perhaps Monday when I am hopefully feeling up to the Shred again. Mum has arrived in Australia and hopefully having a fabulous time. I tried getting hole of various family yesterday and go no one - so of course start thinking the worse, that perhaps she did have the MRI after all and there is swelling enough for her not be allowed on the plane or whatnot. But all OK. Hope you're having a fab time mum.

SDGH&QL

Bangkok Hilton

2010-08-05T21:50:00.000+09:00

You can't really tell but there are TEN grasshoppers in this bug box - the Bangkok Hilton for grasshoppers, which I guess means that makes the aneorexic one that escaped through the bars Nicole Kidman.

I'm a bit over all the bugs in the lounge. Think half of them might have to escape their way outside tomorrow while the kids are at kindy and the cat isn't looking.

The morning started with a phone call from the eldest son in the city. They are coming home for obon - they do every year. For the day anyway. They only live two hours away. This type of distance is day trip distance here - is only 75km after all. This year they want to stay - with daughter and her hub and their toddler and baby. For the whole night. This has never happened before. I love having visitors but foreign visitors are so much less hassle. When Illahee comes to stay I plan on dumping the futons and towels in her room and telling her to sort them out how she wants. She is going to bring some stuff to help with dinner - she has given me a list of choices and I have no reservations in telling her exactly what I want - the lasagna and the costcos pizza sounds good :D

But with family who have only stayed once in the last four years..... I know that once I have the house sorted then it will actually be OK. I get on with them fine it just annoys me a bit that I am the last one to know when I am in fact the person who has to sort out the most, clean the most, stress the most. I doubt very much that sister in law is even happy about having to stay - I imagine my niece is the same. It's not easy taking enough stuff for a baby and toddler and then have to squash everyone into two small side-by-side tatami rooms. I'm presuming my brother in law wants to get on the lash with hub - which means they have to stay because sister in law can't drive. Will be good for brotherly bonding though as hardly ever happens. Hope I'm not expected to sit and pour drinks.

Oh, and can I take the kids out of kinder on the Saturday so the toddler has a play friend when they arrive after lunch.

NOPE - not going to happen. Taking kids out of kinder not conducive to having house in state for guests. They'll have to be satisfied with hub picking the kids up at about four.

Hub took Shou to kinder and I took Marina, Ryu and the cat to the doctors - not the same one. Was quite successful I guess. No major meltdowns. Marina got back to kinder in time for lunch and the cat was one happy camper being let out of her box when we got home.

Mummy guests this afternoon. One friend who I haven't see for ages asked if she could come round. I said sure and then she turns up with a friend - who I know but still, thanks for telling me. Mi cassa su cassa and all that but hey, a bit of courtesy.

Got back from English tonight and all kids were up. Marina was getting changed after coughing herself sick again. I think they are all asleep now - hope they stay that way cause I need a good nights sleep. Just need to down a small handful of drugs first. Headache - present and accounted for. Runny nose, sneezes and sore through - ditto. Not nice but should be cleared up by Tuesday Illahee :D And if' it's not I'll just keep my distance from your kids and when they are in bed, we can gossip and I can throw shaker of gaijinwife sling across room, Tom Cruise in Cocktail style.

SDGH&QL

LOL. Yeah right.

So, I'm pretty sure it's just a sore head...

2010-08-04T21:11:00.000+09:00

Last night saw Marina coughing herself into a vomit again - always fun. Late night washing and cleaning up of small vomitty child. I would have taken her to the doctors this morning but hub decided that I needed drugs first and I can always take her tomorrow and then Shou and the cat on Friday. Awesome. I have folded the pillow end of her mattress over so her head is elevated. Hopefully she sleeps well tonight.

So hub, Ryu and I went to the hospital an hour away - I haven't signed up there yet so there was a bit of faffing round. To be perfectly honest I was feeling a lot better by the time we got there and was starting to doubt myself. You know, like when you are in the initial stages of labor with your second child - the pain comes as a bit of a shock at first but then you get used to it cause you know what's in store. At the beginning you wonder if it is actually labor or not. I think I had gotten used to the ongoing throb and because I wasn't getting any of the ouchy fuckers every time I bent my head any which way I had convinced myself I was fine. But hub had taken the morning off to come with me and so we went.

The doctor was very nice. Didn't moshi moshi (use her stethoscope) or check my ears or my throat - or give me hello kitty stickers for that matter. She said she reckoned I was on the mend and prescribed me some pain killers and some muscle pills for my stiff shoulders - which she thinks could be cause of my headache. As SOON as Ryu and I got home it started up like yesterday. It goes in waves and overall hasn't gotten any better. We shall see though. Back on Saturday if it hasn't gone by then because surely a headache shouldn't last for four days?? Have stopped the Shred until it gets better and am drinking loads of water, no alcohol and no coffee.

I ended up telling the doctor very briefly about mum and the result of her three day headache. No doubt the doctor then thought 'fuckin fantastic, I've got a foreign hypochondriac who is going to come back thinking she's got a brain tumor every time she gets a bloody headache'.

If I'm not waving my head round and bending up and down and all over the show it is OK so had English. Fortunately hub was home early so he helped with the bath thing but then sat on his ass drinking beer while I put three children to sleep. Humph.

Bon odori festivals start tomorrow night. Hub has to drum at all of them - about eight over the course of the next two weeks. He can hopefully get away with taking Shou to most of them which is a bonus. We might all make it to the one up the road next weekend but chances are I'll pull the plug and stay home with Marina and Ryu - party pooper that I am.

Illahee is hopefully coming to stay with her troop of beautiful children one day over of the next couple of weeks. I think we'll crush up sleeping pills into the curry for the kids so they all go to sleep by eight and we can spend the rest of the evening trying to invent a new cocktail - the Mummy Meltdown or the Illahee Illusion, Gaijinwife Sling or similar.

Nighty night.

SDGH&QL

PS - Granny K thinks I have debilitating headache because I spend too much time at the computer. Hub still thinks it is just cause I'm a woman and Shou enlightened me about his theory - that had something to do with feeding the cat and taking the wrapper off the jelly food for the stage beetles???

Quick Post

2010-08-03T19:54:00.000+09:00

Extremely quick post as have throbbing headache, not being helped by over the counter drugs and a somewhat unsympathetic husband who thinks it's period related - I have never had a headache during a period before and my period finished this morning and most of my googling said period related headaches and migraines are before or during your period. Have had it since last night but it has gotten progressively worse. No runny nose, no sore cheeks or nose or anything. Light is OK but movement is a complete bitch. Leaning forward, sitting down, lying down - not good. Anyway, lets hope I can find a position that will let me sleep.

Up at the crack of dawn this morning with Shou who was wanting to check on the kabutomushi stag beetle orgy going on in the bug boxes - plural. We have four boxes and a current grand total of ten stag beetles, two grasshoppers and one praying mantis. They all watched on as I did day five of the Shred at 5:30am this morning - everyone else was up by then so no worry about waking them up with my star jumps. Quite a good effort if I do say so myself. No way I would have been jumping round this evening.

Exercise, washing, dishes, beds done and hub and I were able to leave for our day out after dropping the kids at kinder. SALT at 9:50 - divided on opinion. Was average I guess and not a movie you need to rush out and see on the big screen. I had rung Granny K before it began and Ryu had only slept twenty minutes and she was stressing out that he wouldn't sleep at all after that. Made us cut our day short and after the movie we did about fifteen minutes of shopping and then did the two hour trip home. I did get my starbucks in though :D

Got home to the aircon people putting in Granny K's new aircon. She was very strongly opposed to getting one when we built the house - and now she's just about melting so she has been making aircon comments for the past few weeks. She is paying half and so are we, which I don't quite understand as her pension gives her more expendable income after expenses than us. Haha, what expenses. She doesn't bloody well pay for anything except her own food and her mail catalogue addiction.

Put Ryu to sleep straight away where he zonked and had to be woken up at five. English was fine - albeit a bit gingerly done as I am unable to make big movements due to sore head.

Right, shit. This is painful. Any advice on what type of headache I've got would be grateful - and yes, with all the recent stuff with mum I have already googled brain tumor headaches and I'm pretty sure, that because I'm not yet vomiting, that I'm not heading down that road so not to worry.

SDGH&QL

Hiding the Cicada

2010-08-02T21:07:00.000+09:00

Where would YOU hide a cicada - hypothetically speaking of course as I don't think any of you are four year old bug obsessed boys with cicada's to hide. But IF you had one and you felt so inclined as to hide it where would you hide it?

In the freezer?

No, me neither, I reserve that for the scissors when I'm seven months pregnant.

Your handbag?

No, me neither, I reserve that for the remote control and other small household appliances when I'm eight months pregnant - and if the truth be known not even pregnant at all.

Or would you hide it here...

in the chime ding dong bowel in front of the alter. It had a lid made from the prayer book Granny K keeps beside this. I found it this morning - when I was cleaning not when I was praying. Shou must have put it here yesterday - he reckoned it was still somewhat alive when he laid it in it's final resting place, quite fittingly at the alter ready for it's cicada soul to be taken to cicada heaven. I hope the ancestors weren't surprised at their latest offering. Ah well, it's obon (festival of the dead) soon so they can bring the soul back with them if they want.

Today was highly uneventful. I walked the kids to kinder and then did day four of the Shred. It was a LOT better than the first day and bar a few of the lunges I was able to do everything. Keep this up and I might be able to try level two after ten days. Well that's the plan.

Did some extremely exciting housework...

That would be a weekend's worth of washing - including hub's fireman's uniform and about five changes of clothes each by Shou and Marina from yesterday - and a zillion towels. I hate folding washing. That and deciding what to cook for dinner each night must be my two biggest 'I hate being a housewife' things. Although, folding washing in front of Criminal Minds not quite so bad.

In other news, I have become a Daring Baker. Basically this is a group of bakers - or wannabe bakers - or people that just want an excuse to try something tricky for the sake of 'having to do it'. Each month there is a new challenge posted. You have x amount of days to do it and a bit of leeway in ingredients if you live in the whops like me and can't get your hands on things that normal people can. I can't reveal what the challenge is until the deadline has closed and then I can post a picture and tell you about what a fuckin crap baker I am. Something to look forward to I guess. Also means I have to try and organize a mummy get together once a month so I don't scoff the challenge on my own. That or neighbors will be getting handouts.

Granny K is watching Ryu tomorrow and hub and I are off to see SALT - the movies is an hour and a half away so that means leaving as soon as have taken sproglets to kindy at half seven. Need to be back by four for English so it's really only the movie, lunch and a takeout starbucks and perhaps ten minutes spending a thousand yen trying to win a two hundred yen soft toy out of a UFO catcher. Quite exciting though and stellar effort Granny K for agreeing to look after Ryu. He who sleeps half the day so at least she won't be exhausted.

And that is about as exciting a post as you will get from me tonight. Hub being standard, kids being kids and Granny K still harping on about how much of a better haircut she could have given Marina....

Nighty night.

SDGH&QL

Just Another Sunday

2010-08-01T19:45:00.001+09:00

After posting last night I had more beer, Googled more brain tumor sites and basically had a big old weep and life's a bitch cry into my glass of Asahi. There are a lot of cancer sites that have the positive stories about people who beat cancer. Those are few and far between for the kind of cancer that mum has. Her fall the other day - they were going to get an MRI. She isn't scheduled for one for a few more weeks but they were talking about getting one anyway. They have decided not to. Dad told me it was because they wouldn't be able to tell anything at this stage (so soon after the radiation) anyway. My take on it is that because what is the fuckin point really. They have cut her head open and removed a golf ball size bit of cancer. They have done radiation on the rest and your body can only deal with this once. They are doing the most aggressive chemo treatment they can and so finding anything out on an MRI - like the bastards growing back faster than they thought or whatever, really is just a big bitch and mum may as well go on her girls trip next week and have a good time without knowing.

Myself... I hate the uncertainty.

Anyway, fortunately hub came home at midnight and was more pissed than I was so didn't notice that half the beer had gone. I felt a bit sorry for the man as he had to be up at 5:30 to start up the weed eater to help mulch all the grass in the river...

He must have been feeling exceptionally seedy.

He got home at half seven, showered, shat and changed into his wannabe fire brigade boy outfit and headed to the 'kunren' training thing they had from 8am. Poor guy. Not a good day to be pissed the night before.

It was a four year old boys's dream - noddy fire engine line up, an ambulance, and we even saw them testing all the pumps.

We ended up moving to just above the very left of that spray and got a nice cool down. I don't get why half the town isn't there with their four year old boys. We were the only spectators. What a waste.

Then it was home for some pool time and to wait for daddy to get home...

I blew up the baby paddling pool as well and just about passed out. Got the three of them in for about two seconds so I could take this pic. Ryu wasn't very impressed - god he's white. And god I should have at least taken the dummy out. Didn't even realize.

When hub got back he took Shou to get MORE stag beetles. Shou now has about ten, a dead butterfly, some funny beetle with long antenna and two genetically engineered cicadas...

OK, so obviously using a precure figurine to compare sizes not as effective as cigarette box but still - this cicada was BIG - and fuckin noisy.

The afternoon passed as you would expect with three children under foot. I didn't get day four of the shred done and doing it now wouldn't be conducive to keeping three children and a husband asleep - what with there being lots of starjumps and all.

Or that could just be the first of many excuses. I hope not. My body isn't feeling like it has been run over like a bus anymore and I am not dreading doing the shredding tomorrow. Almost looking forward to it. Ok, so that could be a bit of an exaggeration :)

Time to fold some washing I think. The house is a complete bombsite but that can wait till tomorrow.

SDGH&QL

OH MY GOD

2010-07-31T22:24:00.001+09:00

OH MY GOD - I have just walked to the toastie pie machine and back and NOT winced in pain. Must be the beer I tell ya.

I did managed day three of the 30 day shred today. AND the third day in a row I have done the hour walk to kinder to drop the kids off. As I was pushing play on the DVD player this morning I was thinking that there was no way I would be finishing it but may as well humor self be trying. And I finished. Wahoo.

I am still in pain but I think it may not be as bad as the first day! Perhaps my body is figuring out how to move as to avoid such pain. I have a feeling I even walked down the stairs normally today - but then there was a delivery man waiting at the bottom of the stairs (not outside the door like in a normal country - he had opened the door as he called out 'parcel' ) so I really had to pull all my strengths together.

I read some great SHRED success stories. One woman lost 10kg in 30days. She was being good eating wise too though and that is my downfall. Actually, eating fine. Drinking bad. Eating after Drinking - down the fuckin gurgler.

But enough about the Shred - if I don't lose weight at least I will have the leg muscles enough to kick the ass of my sorry hub next time he frequents the silver balls!!

I forgot to mention last night that we chopped Marina's hair...

who would have thought two year old girls could have double chins? I chopped about ten cm off the back and the fringe obviously - cause that was fucked up and chopped far too high but nevermind. Hub LOVED it!! He gave a few token chops and then just kept saying how cute she looked - and I admit she looks a lot more 'little girl' like than her mullet before. Granny K of course couldn't sit still knowing that Marina had had an at-home cut without her input. She got a few snips in.

This was on the way to kinder this morning. Save ourselves $50 by doing the home-job haircut!!

When I came back from picking the kids up from kinder granny K asked Marina what the teachers said about her hair. I said that they said it looked nice. She said that it would have looked a lot nicer if she had had scissor control from the start. Silly bitch. What NOT to say.

Oh, and the damn stag beetles...

Hub went out this morning and got ANOTHER ONE - thanks for that.

The one on the left is plastic and the one on the right - is the real man ignoring the pretend plastic.

And, just because we need cute baby pics...

This is Ryu doing the Macarena. And if you don't know what that is then you are too young.

Have just called hub and he is at the nijiikai (after party) in the next town over and the skanky hoe is dropping him off.

Time to sign off.

SGDH&QL

Bloody Sore

2010-07-30T22:40:00.001+09:00

Literally EVERY muscle in my body aches right now. I did Billy and his damn boot camp for a week and while yes, I worked up more of a sweat I never physically felt this broken. And I have only done two days. TWO DAYS people and every thing I do - standing, sitting, going to the loo, putting the kids in the bath (seriously sore - like doing an extended squat trying to lower self into bath holding baby without falling over) is an effort. I feel like a 38 week pregnant vestling - which of course would be miracle of god but still. I even found myself saying 'yoisho' at the exact same time as Granny K this arvo - as we both got out of the car after running her round for a few errands.

I was going to wait and see how long it took for hub to notice the weight loss but he busted me when I winced while Shou was giving my a cuddle (read as jumping on my tummy and legs). He laughed and then told me not to have any beer or I'd never see any results.

Wise words (says she, sipping one of the bottles of Asahi that arrived on doorstep as if gift from god this afternoon - from temple lady next door. She gives us a 'summer gift' every year) Actually just re-read that - am not sipping from bottle. Am pouring, very skinny lady-like, into long stemmed wine glass.

So, did I mention that I am sore? I was going to flag it today and perhaps do it every second day. I then had an epiphany as walking kids to kinder - DVD is not called 'Every Second Day Shred' - which means.... you have to do the bastard for 30 straight days. And so, after walking for an hour, I followed Jullian Michaels, and then proceeded to get down on my hands and knees and wax the fricken floors - seeing as was needing shower anyway. Who the fuck cares about the floors? Nobody in this house apart from me it would seem.

And since cleaning them Shou has spilt half a grape jelly, Marina half a strawberry yoghurt (but to her credit she tried to lick it up), Ryu milk and dinner, and me - well I sprayed about a half a can on first a bee and then a spider. The bee I tried to take a photo of. Seriously, the stingy bit was FOUR cm long!! At first I thought it was a bloody tombo - dragonfly. And then there was a very large (boardering on conception of fourth baby type large) spider upstairs. I noticed it after putting Marina to bed. Sprayed the shit out of it and it is all curled up waiting to be disposed of. I thought hub might have noticed it by now - but alas, the big black spider at the top of the stairs is as invisible to him as the butter in the fridge. Where? Where? Where? Honey - we need some more butter.

Hub has a wedding tomorrow - great. That means no sushi, no date with Ryu and hub, and me and the kids on our own tomorrow evening. He has a wannabe firemen's training thing on Sunday morning. I plan on taking Shou (and Ryu) to go see them practice using their hose... as in spurting water (colored I think) out of the hose and into the river.

Hub has however taken Tuesday off so we are leaving two kids in paid childcare and one with Granny K and skiving off to the movies, lunch and the game center no doubt.

In other news....

I spoke to my sister and had a bit of a shite day after finding out mum had taken a fall while walking down to town - As supposedly happens after radiotherapy she is going a tad downhill before getting a bit better. The first few weeks were fine but then she had a few days of losing her balance and her peripheral vision going a bit up the fuck. I spoke to her yesterday though and she was just mum. Good chat. Still a bit sad though that this has to be happening to her. Scary days. She is off for four or five days with her sisters and girlfriends to Noosa. I hope she has a great time.

Right, well I really better get to bed. No meetings happening tonight though. I am far too sore and if the hub felt so inclined he would have to liquor me up and then take me in my sleep.

SDGH&QL

Shred it

2010-07-29T22:29:00.000+09:00

So I did my first day of The 30 Day Shred today - and I am completely knocked over. I was quietly thinking it wouldn't be so bad - after all. There are three levels so how hard could level one be?? I got through almost all of the 40 minutes of Billy and his Boot Camp - level 1, and to me the 30 Day Shred didn't 'sound' so bad.

Fuck me. I am SORE. Mainly in my legs - my thighs in particular. I will try and make it through again tomorrow but may well be in so much pain can't lift fingers to type to tell the tale. The good thing I think is the presenter - Julliane I think. There are no group hugs, it's all very real AND there is a lot of old school stuff so no new fancy moves to learn. The two other girls in the dvd aren't super skinny girls on speed. They are very normal - albeit quite tall. The 3 minutes of strengthening / two minutes of card / one minute of abs is good - it gives you exact times and you know that if you get through the next two minutes of star-jumps you will be on the floor doing abs.

Anyway, enough about the Shred.

Shou had his jab today. I held off telling him like last time so when I went to pick him up he thought we were going home :( I felt bad but we had talk in the car and all and all he was really good - although he did scream when the needle went in. The girl before him didn't even whimper. Very impressed. The room, if at all possible, was filled with more lunatic four year old boys than last time. Turns out a lot of kids were sick last time and couldn't do it so had their first one today. Was craziness. Being a mother of three I was swaying more towards the 'supervise and step in if anybody is going to get hurt' category as opposed to a couple of the mothers who seriously looked gobsmacked at the behavior of a room full of boys. One boy even spent the WHOLE time waiting (40 minutes) on his mother's lap - which leads me to think she fed him sedatives for lunch.

Well, hub is watching an old school Bruce Lee film with lots of woos and yahoos and the like. Might go find me some vegemite and see if it feels like getting down with some butter on some toast. - just to de-shred myself after the first day.

SDGH&QL

New Camera. Hmmmmmm.

2010-07-28T22:27:00.000+09:00

Must admit I'm not a huge fan straight off of my aim and shoot Canon Power Shot. I was so used to my Nikkon that this will take some getting used to.

My first pics - of nothing in particular (seriously) as just trying to see if pressing the on button and then pressing the other button meant I had taken a picture - obviously didn't read the manual but fuck, it's a digital camera for retards. I should be able to sort it out.

the very very first shot. Batteries obviously charged. Everything works.

Coming down the stairs - in motion. Woooooo. My previous camera wouldn't have handled taking a movement shot this clearly. OK, so slightly impressed. Tis vacuum cleaner. VACUUM CLEANER. NOT big white snake.

Just waking up from nap in Shou's room where he slept for TWO HOURS - AFTER a THREE HOUR sleep this morning. Tis a wonder the boy can still sleep at night. He is either going through a mammoth growth spurt or he has turned into sleep meister and I will be pouring buckets of cold water over him when he is fifteen to make sure he gets out of bed in time for dinner.

Check out those eyelashes. That should be illegal.

Other than the new camera .... hmmmm.... 30 day shred??? anyone done it and skinnied themselves to tell the tale?

Both the kids managed to escape the temp nazis at kindy today and were, quite disbelievingly, well behaved when I went to pick them up, feed them, bath them and put them to bed! Actually hub was home in time to put Shou to bed and that went without drama - although I did have to promise to make Shou some pretend money for the ramen shop he is opening tomorrow, along side the kakigori shop, and also to put proper wheels (that go round) on the concrete mixer we made out of a milk carton, three yogurt pottles, a pair of chopsticks and a toilet roll this evening.

And that was about as exciting as the day got here today. Tomorrow should prove more eventful with Shou having his second Japanese encephalitis jab. Fun and games.

Right, off to search some more Auckland accommodation for trip home. Only there for three nights but we arrive early Monday morning - and, you know, what with having three small children and just coming off a 12 hour flight, preceded by 6 hours in transit and a 1 and a half hour flight from Japan, preceded by 3 hours in the car - and me thinks we need to be able to check straight in to motel and not faff round in trendy cafe having lattes waiting for standard 1pm checkin time.

So, the name of the game is, find a motel that will let us check in at 10am and NOT charge us for a whole night. Have sent screeds of emails. Just need one nice person to say they would love to send shuttle to pick us up at 10am. I can do this. Tis the last thing I need booked.

Off to it.

SDGH&QL

Not Losing Another One

2010-07-27T21:05:00.000+09:00

Fuck it - I just lost out on a translation. 31 minutes too late. I have now just changed the settings on my gmail account so new mails get sent to my phone. I am not missing out on any more of the damn pie. I NEED some more fuckin pie.

Must calm down. Was only about 300 dollars worth but that would have been nearly two nights accommodation during trip home. Humph. It's hard, cause like most people in similar position (freelance translating with small children) I have to run the whole scenario in my head before I say yes to work. Needed to be in by Thursday afternoon. OK, that means x amount of pages during the day tomorrow while Ryu is sleeping, x amount tomorrow night after the kids are in bed and x amount on Thursday morning before I take Shou to get his vaccination. I go through it all, I think OK, I can handle that, and then I say yes. And then some slimy fucker snakes it. OK, so not that bad - especially as slimy fucker could be one of two friends who also get same emails and both need money just as much as me :) BUT, if it's anyone else then bugger right off.

Anyway, there will be more translations I know. I just need some NOW to make me feel better about getting us nearly 14 thousand dollars in debt for trip home in October. Seriously. That is how much it is going to cost for five of us on the plane (four seats), rent a cars and ten nights accommodation, not to mention food and miscellaneous shopping items - ahem.

But despite the last five minutes, today was very pleasant - not a word I use often I know. Ryu is like some crackhead on sleeping pills - either awake and laughing his head off or zonked in his pit. It was an early start to the day with Shou coming in at quarter to five, Marina not long after and us three down stairs and in the kitchen, collecting a now awake Ryu on the way, by ten to six. I shouldn't really say early as that implies earlier than usual when really this is standard these days.

The kids were eating vegemite on toast, fruit and yoghurt and I was snorting back coffee straight from the jar when hub rocked on down forty minutes later. I had a mini meltdown when Shou and Marina tried to pump up the bicycle wheels and got black hands - so then decided to use the hose to clean themselves off but other than that no fuss. We walked to kinder which was nice as last week I didn't walk once I don't think. Billy and his bloody boot camp are collecting dust and I need to resurrect them before they fall down unforgotten behind the Carebears and the Smurfs.

My friend and I were going to take our babies to the town weekly play group but it was out for the summer so we, plus another friend, who is chairwoman of said play group, congregated here - which meant mad cleaning rush before they turned up at half ten. They left at lunch, Ryu went back down for an afternoon nap and I joined him for an hour - nice.

Had a chat to my sister, had English, picked the kids up, did the dinner thing, did the bath thing - OK, so bit of meltdown during bath-time as I was, as you do when your husband is out on the lash or working overtime (hub is doing former tonight), putting all three kids in the bath at the same time. Shou was in the bath, as was Marina -who had just done crap in undies, thankfully not on tatami or genkan mat as pretty pink undies not going to contain wee/poo combination. Ryu was getting his clothes taken off him in the bathroom by a naked me when Shou poured a BUCKET of COLD water over my head.

Not cool son. Mummy will remember this until your are 54 - in which case she will be 84 and perhaps only just starting to forget such antics. That AND you aren't getting any pocket money until you are ten.

Ryu got cleaned and passed out to Granny K without 'warming up in the bath in the middle of summer' - which of course, according to THE oracle, means he will catch a cold. Fuck it. I have been to the doctors so many times over the last week what's another trip? Marina got out followed by Shou. Things calmed down a bit and all children were present, accounted for, and asleep by 8:20pm.

Hub is out drinking with his office and being brought home by the scandalous cheating skanky hoe from his office. I am having a chuhai and now, thanks to blog therapy, a little bit calmer about the translation that wasn't.

Tomorrow is Wednesday (just in case you were having trouble there) and hub said he was going to take the day off. But he also said something about next week so we could pawn the baby off to Granny K and go watch a movie - the new Angelina one that comes out here on Saturday. Haven't seen movie in over a year I don't think.

Oh, and camera got sent today so new pics coming to your screen soon.

SDGH&QL

temp nazis back in action

2010-07-26T21:12:00.000+09:00

So yesterday's misunderstanding led to a few beverages, led to a late night international relations meeting, led to a revelation...

I don't get completely starkers for shagging very often anymore. How sad! I found myself fully de-clothed last night and felt a bit naked - quite surprisingly. Back in the day I would ride the stallion naked, slither and wriggle and try and look all fantastic. Post marriage and more likely, post three babies, I find myself quite often de-panted but not de-topped. That said though, there would be more likelihood that I would be fully naked over hub (not me actually naked 'over' him - as opposed to / compared to / in comparison to / instead of ?? OK you know what I mean) In winter however, I do have to draw the line at socks. No go.

And that's enough about my state of dress during shag session.

Very productive morning while Ryu slept - cleaned, hung out washing, got packages ready to take to post office and then found online typing game kind of like tetras that meant I probably spent more time doing that than I would have on facebook! I also did things like download SKYPE - finally AND buy digital camera from amazon.

I was planning on taking Ryu over to buy one at the shop but the kindy rang at half ten - Marina had a temp of 38.5 and could I come get here. Fuck it. Of course I can, she's my little angel but I HAVE to get this stuff in the post. So I leave Ryu with Granny K and go to pick Marina up via the post office - where I get the good woman, who knows that in order to get to NZ she needs to push the Oceania button first - but fuck she was being pedantic today. Lining the receipts up and putting my change on the little change tray in order of biggest to smallest coins. I bet she's the kind of person her folds the end of the toilet paper into a triangle every time she goes to the loo.

Twenty minutes later I arrive at the kinder and Marina is in the middle of lunch - fine by the way, chomping back her curry and rice with cool pads under her armpits and on her forehead. I take my 'sick' child home and take her temperature (because I swear the teachers have thermometers that a set a degree higher) and low and behold it is only 37.5. After her almost non existent afternoon nap it is a bog standard 36.6. And to prove how so not sick she was - she was being a complete bitch all afternoon and didn't listen to ONE WORD I said. Awesome. Can't wait till she cranks herself out of this stage because it is painful.

She packed an absolute mental when the grasshopper she was holding captive in her bug box escaped through the open door and promptly got eaten by the cat. Must say though that she has become expert,in one afternoon, at holding grasshoppers. I had to catch them - but that didn't involve touching them.

Speaking of the cat - the smart sneaky fucker. On three separate accounts this morning I would turn round and find her sitting inside looking at me. It was very freaky - especially as I checked all the downstairs doors and windows and they were shut. SO, acrobatic little feline must have been climbing up the screen door, onto the deck rafters, onto the roof and in through the very small open window by the wash basin upstairs - only window in house open without a screen door.

Oh, and newly purchased online digital camera should arrive by Thursday. Wahoo - I so went to get a pic of those stag beetles.

And I am so only half joking.

Nighty night.

SDGH&QL

Misunderstandings

2010-07-25T20:13:00.001+09:00

Marina had a loads better night last night and lasted till morning without waking up - in her own bed - bashing the sides of her bed and not me - hallelujah.

Ryu slept.

Hub slept.

and Shou woke up at 4am. For the love of fuckin god son. 4am - it was still dark and I was not a happy mummy. Trying to stay quiet in our room until at least half five he decided to see how much noise the tissue box makes when you put it up against the fan.

Fuckin shitloads.

Downstairs at five with Shou, and now Marina. Hub doesn't come down till nearly seven, during which time I have mad the executive decision that in fact I am going to take my beautiful baby and head to Rachel's for her Gion Matsuri in Nakatsu.

I run this past hub at about eight - we have a full conversation about it, or so I think.

I head off after Ryu's morning nap and we get to Rachel's (over an hour away) at about half eleven.

At half twelve I get an email from hub - an angry one. What the fuck was I doing and why aren't we home for lunch.

Um...

WTF

???

And so I send a reply to the same effect. But with a few more honeys and, really I have no idea sweet pea. - cause seriously I don't. Somewhere our wires have crossed.

So I leave Rachel's at about two - after a bit of a catch up with the girls and meeting lots of people and seeing some matsuri floats and ten year old geisha girl dancing on float with pissed old men. All good.

Get home and hub is fine and so I broach the angry email - he thought I had said I was going to get some unagi (eel) for dinner, come all the way home again AND THEN go to Rachels - in the evening.

Having lived in this fair country for over ten years I now know what the word for evening is and I did not use it once in any of our conversing conversations before I left today. My take on it was that I was going to the get together and would pick eel up for dinner on the way home and be home by three - I even used like numbers and pm and shit - I even said it twice. I'm pretty sure I even said this that and the other to reiterate that I would be leaving the man for over three hours with Shou and Marina.

Anyhoo, all fine and we have agreed to agree that complete misunderstanding - have agreed over asahi as of course best beverage known to man kind for purpose of negotiation and agreeing upon shit that really male should be apologizing for.

Kids are now asleep of course - unfortunately the SIX kabutomushi (stag beetles) that Shou and hub have caught over the last two days are just starting to fire up for the night. They are pretty heinous and if I had the battery to my camera I would take a pic for you. A quick look in my crystal ball and me sees a trip to K's denki for a new camera in my very immediate future - perhaps even tomorrow. Any suggestions? Not too pricey but - and I'm not a camera buff so snap away and no faffing around with lenses is fine.

Nighty night.

SDGH&QL

No Sleep and Typhoons

2010-07-24T21:00:00.001+09:00

Last night was pretty horrendous. Not because of hub - he came home fine from work and nothing else was said after the email. Happy families - he did however take Ryu's screw on to the dining table high chair and scrub it spotless AND clean the bathroom - all last night after I had gone to bed with a sick Marina at 8pm. I could hear him banging around and came half way down the stairs to see what racket it was that was going to wake two sleeping and one coughing child? I could tell from the sounds though that he was scrubbing the bath and I retreated.

Marina slept in our bed with me last night and she is the WORST sleeper in the history of two year old girl sleepers. My god father. I haven't slept in the same bed with her since those hospital visits in her first year - when she was still too little to turn a full 360 degrees ten times over during the night. She coughed herself to a vomit once - but didn't wake up. I caught it in time and she only got the floor but then proceeded to want to lie in it - which I caught in time and got her back into bed, with her head on the cold pack pillow. Her cough was so bad that I couldn't leave her on her own. She had a nose running a marathon as well and would wake up every hour for a tissue - god bless the toddlers that can blow their own nose. We are trying but to no avail. She just does the noise and moves her shoulders.

So all in all I got about as much sleep as a woman in labour - zilch. Marina got more as half the time her own coughing didn't wake her up. And it was HOT HOT bloody hot. And we have lost the remote for the aircon in our room so just had the fan on. God, I need to find that remote. Perhaps is in same place as camera battery that has mysteriously disappeared from the re-charger since yesterday. Ryu is for ever playing with it and the telephone down beside the couch so I got on all fours and tried to figure out where he would crawl off with it.

Marina seemed to be better today. Not good enough for kinder so Shou went off on his own. Hub and Granny K and the kids did some fireworks before bed. I was a part of the proceedings but got too bloody angry at the lack of safety (seriously, Shou was doing a sparkler about 10cm away from a bag full of bloody unlit fireworks). I got a few bloody ground rules instated and then had to retreat inside with a glass of wine as too bloody stressful. Everyone fine. All limbs accounted for.

Granny K was in the veggie patch today and came across a bee hive that had been made right down near the ground - about five cm up from the ground in a huge field of weeds. She just about chopped it in half which would have been nasty. Hmmmmm.

Anyway, why I am posting this is, is that according to Kunimi (and other parts??) folklore - when bees/wasps make their hives low to the ground it means a bad typhoon is coming. We haven't had a really bad typhoon for about ten years. We get them every year - about 15 but only a handful that warrant any real preparation - and perhaps only one or two a year the require hub to be on standby as part of the wannabe firebrigade at the town office.

Guess I'll be re-packing our emergency pack over the next couple of weeks. If I didn't and we got a bad typhoon that meant we had to evacuate (to the hall across the road) I would could never forge myself if our pack wasn't kitted out. The bees told us so.

SDGH&QL

Catastrophe Avoided

2010-07-23T13:58:00.000+09:00

Hub had a major meltdown this morning....

We were all up by 6 and doing the normal stuff. I took Marina's temperature - or rather gave her the thermometer. The kids at their kinder learn to take their own temperature before they can walk me thinks. It was nearly 38 so I decided that OK, would take her to doctors as her middle of the night cough seems to have picked up a bit lately too.

Once I had decided I was going to do the trip to the clinic I got into action - really need to leave the house by half seven to get seen by the doctor any time before ten (on a normal day at least - not like yesterday when was freakishly empty). All of a sudden I have a list of things going round and round in my head about what needs to happen for us to get out the door that fast. I usually take the kids to kinder around that time anyway but with a road trip of an hour each way with Marina and Ryu I need to get more shit together. I also am thinking right, washing needs to done and hung out before I leave or else it wont happen till lunch time. All that little shit that I swear to god never even register for men. Hub just thinks that because I haven't got a translation on at the moment and because I haven't got specific plans for the morning then everything is OK.

It is OK. I am and did take her to the doctors but that doesn't mean I don't think about all this shit - and unfortunately I usually think about this shit out loud and in the same tone of voice I am using in my head.

Right, fuck it is there any more washing anywhere, machine needs to go on RIGHT NOW.
Shou, don't throw your spoon at the cat bring it to me, WITH your yoghurt pottle so I can wash it RIGHT NOW.
Ryuuuuuuuu, Ryuuuuuuuuuuuu. Where the fuck's the baby.
Oh there you are, playing with a can of fly spray in Granny's room. Awesome.
rah
rah

Now men don't need to get verbal diarrhoea. They can say it all in their heads - or rather they don't because this kind of trivial shit like putting the washing machine on, saving the cat from being decapitated by an anpanman spoon and wondering where the baby is, doesn't even cross their minds.

So, hub is listening to me going on for a good forty minutes and then he loses it - big time. We have quite a lot of arguments but rarely does he get really really angry - shaking and eyes popping out of head angry. But he did this morning.

He let it rip. He sees him taking Shou to kinder as helping me - and that I should be eternally grateful. I see it as helping me because I have to leave to take Marina to the doctors and while I could drop Shou off on the way it makes more sense for hub to take him. I don't think I should be eternally grateful. It's not like it makes hub late for work.

He sees my not asking Granny K to look after Ryu for three plus hours so I can just take Marina is me being selfish?? I see it as not using her for something that isn't a big deal. The Marina and Ryu combination is the easiest combination out of the three kids. Taking Ryu with us isn't going to make life that much harder. It would make Granny K's a lot harder leaving him with her for that long when all she has on the brain at the moment is beans beans and planting more beans. Hub thinks that because he suggested I ask Granny K, and because I said I was fine taking them both, that that is me being selfish and making everything revolve around me.

Shou was in the middle of taking his temperature (have to write it in his notebook every day during pool swimming season) when hub said right Shou, let's go and practically pulled him out the door. I protested that it was already the third time Shou was taking it (he kept moving round and getting errors on the thermometer) and that he only need to wait another thirty seconds. He sees this as again me thinking only about me and not him who is the one taking Shou to kinder. I don't even get this. I tried to explain that when I go pick Shou up today I will be the one that the teachers talk to about having his temperature written down.

Frustration, frustration. I can't even really try and reason with him when he is that angry. I get upset and, while I held off on the tears, I get pissed off that I can't say what I want to how I want to. Talking, shouting or screaming to him in English at these times only makes matters worse.

Anyhoo, he took Shou and Marina, Ryu and I went to the doctors. Got some stronger drugs this time and stopped to get some meat for curry tonight and didn't make it home till half eleven. Lunch and bed - Ryu is asleep now and Marina hopefully on her way.

I sucked it up and sent an apology email to hub during his lunch break...

subject: Sorry
message: 今朝のことごめんなさい。たしかに自分中心でやって行こうとする時は多すぎる。もうちょっと家族皆のことを考えてやって行きます。Hubが毎日一生懸命働いて、機嫌悪い奥さんが待っている家に帰って大変やろうと分かってます。もうちょっと機嫌のいい奥さん、ママでいますように頑張ります（ハートマーク）
Sorry about this morning, There are definitely too many times when I do focus on me more than anyone else. I will sort my shit out and try and think more about you lot in the future. I understand that it must be hard for you, working hard everyday to bring home the bacon and having to come home to a bitchy wife. I'll try harder to not be such a bitchy wife and mummy. (Heart emoticon)

Something must have worked cause I just got back a reply...

subject: RE: sorry
message: ゴメン、僕も言い過ぎましたm(__)m。これからもよろしくsorry, I was a bit out of line too. Let's sort it out and work harder at happy families and shag lots - OK so it didn't say that exactly but it did have a moving picto-dude blowing a kiss.

I don't think the mornings argument was particularly my fault but I can see that he would be getting a bit fucked off at all my whinging - which wasn't really directed at anyone in particular. I really need to stop thinking out loud all the time. So anyway, catastrophe avoided. Time to stop being in a strop all the time.

And in other news - I have just deactivated my Facebook account. Spending far too much time on the computer and something had to give. Don't want it to be the blog so it had to be FB. I am giving myself a 40 minute a day computer limit.

Right, Marina is downstairs now after obviously not getting to sleep. This will mean she is asleep by half six - and completely uncooperative for the two hours before that!

SDGH&QL

Thermometer Nazis

2010-07-22T23:05:00.000+09:00

The teachers continued to be thermometer nazis today and I swear each teacher gets issued with their own engraved thermometer upon enrollment.

Both Shou and Marina were OK (in my opinion) to be offloaded to paid child care for the day. Shou had no temperature and while Marina had a low temp of 37.2, it wasn't enough to warrant me keeping her home. When I dropped them off I admitted that Marina had a slight temperature (they take their temperatures before 9am so would have realized anyway) and said that IF it got higher I would take her home with me after my English less on there - finishing at half ten.

Finished the lesson and Marina was in fine spirits so I didn't say anything and neither did her teacher. I left.

At half three the phone rings and whadda ya know Marina has a temperature. 38.4 so a bit higher. The teacher made a comment about how she thought I was going to take Marina home with me at half ten and then I didn't and well now her temp is higher. Fuck off and stick that thermometer up your bumholeyole. I know what I said. I have learnt to not doubt my Japanese anymore. I said it right. You understood. They KNOW I teach English on Thursday afternoons - I pick the kids up at half five and they are usually the last kids there. This happens every Tuesday and Thursday.

As it happened, we are in school holidays and my Thursday girls have opted for no English over the holidays. But the kinder teachers wouldn't have been passed on this information so fast - surely. I wonder if they ring the 'full time mothers' as much as they ring me - a SAHM, whose fairly busy with other shit but obviously spending most of day faffing round waiting to pick kids up from kinder.

Anyway, I tell the teacher I will be there to pick the two of them up as soon as I can - to which she answers that Shou is fine and it's only Marina - to which I say, soooo, you want me to come pick Marina up and then in forty minutes come back and pick Shou up?? Hellllooooo.

I say I will be there as soon as I can and then I hang up.

I proceed to make dinner and vacuum and go to pick the kids up forty minutes later. Both are running round screaming and wanting to hunt for crabs - albeit with Marina with a cold pad stuck to her forehead. She looks reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaly sick.

NOT.

She ate all her dinner. She told me to bugger off and called me a dickhead on at least twelve separate occasions. She swung the cat round her head.

By it's tail.

She is sooooooooooo fine.

She had some cough meddy before bed and I put a new gel pad on her forehead upon her insistence. She went to sleep and hasn't woken up yet.

Ditto Shou, ditto Ryu, ditto the rest of us.

OK, so obviously I can type in my sleep.

Hub suggested, before heading upstairs, that I take Marina to the doctors tomorrow. Man, if the doctors was like a ten minute drive away I would be so OK with this but it isn't. It is a good three hour round trip. I'll see how hot she is when she wakes up.

Right

I'm off to break into the kinder to steal all the thermometers.

SDGH&QL

Warts & All

2010-07-21T21:14:00.001+09:00

About the same time the cat arrived Shou got these little bumps on his hand. They spread and he got more and now he has about fifteen on each hand and some on his elbow. My first thought was flees but then we got the cat some drugs for that, she got an injection and nobody else has them. My second thought was warts and started Dr. googling that yesterday.

When I went to pick Shou up yesterday the teachers TOLD ME it was warts and that Shou was not allowed in the pool with the other kids until they were gone, which basically means to get them checked out asap as too bloody hot to not be allowed in the pool.

Ryu also needed more drugs for his smokers cough which is about 80 percent better but unfortunately it's that last 20 percent that Granny and hub give me assholes about. SO, I had to venture to two different clinics with my two boys. The dermatology clinic opens at nine but I presumed that, like most of the clinics and hospitals in our area, that it would open up at half eight for people to sign up. The place has a booking system and seeing as I hadn't booked I wanted to get there first up to gaijin fat ass my way in front of the vestlings getting there veins checked or whatever.

Fuckin place doesn't open it's doors until two minutes to nine. Shite, bugger fuck. I have just driven an hour and have a tired, as cranky as possible with Ryu, baby and a restless four year old. I had told myself trying to get to two clinics AND getting Shou back to kindy in time for lunch (half eleven) was going to require some duct tape, a swiss army knife and perhaps even McGyver himself - tank-top and all.

The doors open, I am forth in and my ticket says 9:15. Fuckin unbelievable. Shou wasn't too excited about seeing the doctor as he thought he was getting an injection - thanks to the teachers at his kindy telling him that warts required a needle to pop them to drain them and then getting covered in goo to dry them up. Fortunately our exam room had a swivel chair - provided a good eight minutes of entertainment for Ryu and Shou while waiting for vesting doctor to come in with his humungous magnifying glass to check out Shou's thingies.

Which, by the way, are not warts, but from spending too much time looking for crabs, insects and frogs in the paddies and surrounding water runoff drains and long grass. No needles. He got two types of cream and off we went. Painless. For him and for me.

Next stop - Ryu's doctor. Would you know that the place is practically empty. Unheard of. It would appear that the gods of Japanese clinics was smiling on us this morning. Got Ryu's meddy, made a wee stop at the toy shop to get Shou a small 'something' for being so good and then home James.

Rocked up to kindy at 11:15, only to hear the teachers say that Marina had a temperature of 38.0 and could I please take her home. For fucks sake. I had to drop one kid off and pick the other up. Home we went where Marina's temp dropped to 37.5 in space of two minutes and after her nap was almost back to normal. Me thinks waking up at half past fuckin four this morning pushed her over the temperature edge.

Anyway, her and Ryu get fed and put down for a nap where they both sleep for TWO whole hours. Nice. I got to finish Mum's DVD and burn it. Yay - going in the post tomorrow. The kindy rings up at 1pm (seriously they must have me on speed dial) to say the SHOU now has a temperature. They KNOW I teach on Wednesday, and that really, unless one of my children is vomiting blood or limping because they lost a limb, I don't want to hear about it. It is nap time and so I ask if possibly they could put Shou down for a nap and then ring me IF his temperature went higher.

I cancelled my English class just in bloody case as Granny K not going to agree to look after three kids for an hour - fair enough.

True to form the kindy rings again at 4pm - seriously like only an hour before home time anyway. Shou still has a temperature. It has dropped to 37.8 and he is eating his afternoon tea like a starved madman and seems perfectly fine but can you please come and pick him up early.

I swear the teachers must have some kind of kitty (stash of money for winnings) during the the summer holidays (started today) for the teacher who can get the most kids home early over a given number of days. Shou only has three kids in his class so the teacher obviously has to be a better story teller. OR, I'm just the world's worst mum and I should be running to the kindy with lozengers and a hot water bottle to collect my child.

I picked him at at 4 and we came home and they were all good while I made dinner. Hub was home at 6pm which was nice and everyone is now in peaceful slumber.

Perhaps I should head that way myself.

SDGH&QL

Beef and Beer

2010-07-20T23:20:00.001+09:00

I think it reached 36 degrees here today. I guess I'm not actually that hot as do have aircon on but still, the middle of the day was melting. As for the itchy itch... I have my Japanese summer legs. Bitten to bits by carnivorous oversized Japanese mozzies on a mission. Much like my Japanese OL telephone voice (high pitched and hehehe girlie) and my normal voice there is a marked difference in the state of my calves in winter and summer.

Of course this is partially due to beef and beer on the deck last night...

I had the mozzie incense going and sprayed myself senseless with repellent and still, still I got about fifteen bites. But what can you do. I taste good.

And so did the beef yum. And the beer yum. Our first BBQ of the season - outside at least. This BBQ table was the best house warming prezzie we got. I gets a layer of sand and then coals. I discovered today that if you scrub the grill things the next day instead of three months after the event the shit comes off quite easily. Wahoo. Pat self on back for scrubbing the fuckers today instead of October.

Dinner was loads of fun. Both Ryu and Marina were asleep by the time guests arrived which was what you would expect after their afternoon antics. Shou was so damn tired by 6pm that I tried to get him off too but to no avail. After all, it was still bloody daylight out. So he came back downstairs and was a right pain in the ass until he got over the tired hump and turned into a bug freak - him and the 7 year old daughter of our guests went all over the garden (with a torch when it got dark) and hunted bugs. Had a GREAT time, and for the most part let the adults feast in peace. Armen.

Our guest had offered to bring the beverages seeing as we were doing the beer and whatnot. Not one to turn a gift horse wherever or whatever I said OK, Asahi would be great. Cans fine. The last few times we have had people over they have been our generation and a chilly bin of beer has been fine - yes, I still need to pass it out but there is none of the pouring other people's drinks thing. And then one of the men (ex town office dude who lives down the road) arrived with a case of Asahi bottles. Fuck it. He proceeded to pour about half of these down my throat. God, I hope he was feeling sick today - as I was trying to tip the other half down his throat. Haven't had a 'Japanese' beer drinking thing for bloody ages. Dangerous bastard things that they are.

Guests were off by half nine and Shou was asleep about ten minutes later. Hub and I did a bit of the cleaning away and then had a beer on the deck - lovely.

Hub has a rough week this week. They sent tax shite of some sort off last week and this week are expecting backlash phone calls. He warned me that he would be worse than a sorority of girls with their periods.

But, he also said he would take a day off when it's over so we can go to the movies. My god, haven't been to the movies for ages.

Bloody hell, Granny K has come in to talk funeral money. Bloke from down the paddy has karked it and she wanted hub to go give the funeral money - but he can't. And she got pissed off, cause she has pottery class and 'can't' go. The man is the father of a bloke he does wannabe firebrigade with.

Bloody paddy politics.

SDGH&QL

Oh, and Ryu and I went for big walk this afternoon. Was too fuckin hot and I have stripped wrists from where my hands stuck out from my flummy fuck off hot ass exercise jacket. I strapped Ryu into the buggy and I swear to got two seconds later the cat was in there...

She didn't come walking with us but it was so cute. Paws all over Ryu.

The Grassy Knoll

2010-07-19T13:42:00.000+09:00

Nearly half one on a public holiday, when everyone is at home, and the house is silent. Amazing. Ryu and Marina and most probably hub are definitely asleep and Shou is pottering upstairs in our room I think. He very rarely has afternoon naps on days he is at home but today he got the hard word - must have an hour of down time upstairs or no yakiniku (BBQ) tonight with guests.

We all went to the beach yesterday. I was quite excited driving there. Tis only five minutes away but I managed to let my hair out and sing a few day at the beach type songs before we got there. We hadn't planed a whole day, just a couple of hours before lunch and more of a hunt for crabs and play on the slide type thing.

Approximately one minute and thirty seven seconds after this photo was taken Shou had complete stripped and run/dived/bombed/fallen head first into the water. It was quite comical and he was loving it but it reinstated that he is a runner - and knows no fear. He got sick of the water and then took off up the beach and over the grassy knoll. The grassy knoll that has a rock bank and a stream at the bottom. Not straight down but still - you can't see the other side and so my mummy alert system tweaked into action, I scream at hub, who has gone to wash sand off the spade and stuff, and am kind of running / jiggling around with Ryu on my hip and trying to coerce Marina into coming with me to find her brother.

He was fine of course. But he is still only four, is completely naked, and has gone sprinting off over a ridge with rocks and water on the other side. I think Hub prefers to take the kids to these kinds of places without me!! I think I prefer hub take the kids to these kinds of places without me too. There was a takoyaki and ice-cream stop before heading home. A lazy afternoon with the paddling pool out and the new hose that Shou and I went to purchase cause the old one is completely fucked and Granny K just keeps twisting more bits of wire around the hose and using masking tape. There were several obscenities as i spent ten minutes untwisting ten year old bits of wire. We put the paddling pool at the bottom of the slide and let the fun begins. Had my fat ass fit on the adventure playground slide I may have been tempted to cool off in similar fashion. Hub and I had to be content for a beer on the deck with the baby.

Ryu and his first time in the sand - not quite sure of it at all really. He didn't like the grass at home at first either though. I tried to get his feet in the water but he kept letting them up in crossed leg yoga position.

We have people coming for dinner tonight - right at that shit time of night so fingers crossed it isn't complete chaos. The plan is that Marina and Ryu will go to bed just after they arrive - which means I will need to wake both of them up in half an hour or so, and Shou will last as long as he can - which could be a complete disaster seeing as he is now downstairs making a very long dump car out of four milk containers, twelve straws and three sets of disposable chopsticks and half a roll of sellotape.

Perhaps the kids can just all go in the paddling pool later and then I can flag the bath thing and just sort dinner and pjs and teeth - so much more manageable. At least it's only yakiniku so there is minimal preparation, not including the hour each way I spent driving to the supermarket with the nice meat earlier! Hub wanted me to get sazae (those big gross sea snail things), and hotate (um, um, english not coming - shellfish of some sort) and the likes but He has had to settle for beef, lots of beef, pork, chicken wings, sausages, cow horumon (insides - barf) and shrimps. I think that is well fancy enough for guests. There will of course be vegetables to BBQ, beer to drink and shouchu to be poured.

Fuck it - neighbor has just come and rung our doorbell and now Ryu is awake. Ah well, best start sorting out the deck and bringing the washing in.

Has been hot hot hot the past couple of days. Hope everyone is sweating flummy off. I am. But counteracting that by having cold beers in the fridge.

SDGH&QL

Most Activity

2010-07-17T21:52:00.001+09:00

I was going to do a shag talk ban for a while but I have to share this cause fuck it made me laugh.

Last night hub (and I) had had a couple of drinks when we headed up to bed.

GW: fancy a romp?
hub: wouldn't say no.
GW/hub: romp romp romp shag shag shag
GW: five minutes, that must be a record.
hub: (bit of heavy breathing - as in the after lots of exercise kind not down a phone kind) Most activity.
GW: Most activity what?
hub: Most activity in my capacity (this was obviously said in ENGLISH - I would hope I would get a better translation if he had said it in Japanese)
GW: Most activity in my capacity. giggle giggle snort snort. That's fantastic darling.
hub: dekirukagiri
GW: The best you could?
hub: No.
GW: You did as much as you could?
hub: yes.
GW: OK then. well anyway darling. Jolly good effort.
hub: won't be able to do that in ten years.
GW: nevermind, that's why they invented viagra.
hub: hmmmmmmm, do you reckon the drug store in the next town over sells it?
GW: No, I reckon the online pharmacy does.

I was so scared of not remembering that outstanding phrase that I actually emailed it to myself from the toilet at 11:30pm. What a rockstar.

Anyway, the kids had the kinder summer festival last night. Granny K stepped up to the plate and agreed to watch Ryu for us - and even attempt to put him to bed. A first. And she achieved it. Fantastic news.

The summer festival was from 6 to 8pm. It stopped raining at about half five. The festival started with a lot of Japanese faffing around followed by a quiz which took kids and their parents on a 500m walk around the outskirts of the kindy answering a series of questions at teacher checkpoints. The Shou and daddy team managed them all but the mummy and Marina team got to each checkpoint, waited in line, had a meltdown, looked for crabs, jumped around, screamed a bit and got fireman lifted (over the shoulder) back to the start line with NO stamps.

Following the quiz there were five games - ring toss, goldfish scooping, balloon scooping, bowling and pulling a number for a prize out of a box - what's kujibiki in English?

Daddy showed Shou how to scoop the balloon...

And Shou managed to get one, as did hub and I. So we have three balloons with water in them hanging over the door of the fire and providing a lot of entertainment for Ryu...

Marina got all shy doing the ring toss...

but was well into the (pretend) shrimp fishing (they had real goldfish scooping and shrimp fishing outside)...

At the end there were some fireworks lit by a group of the dads...

It was a good time for the kids although Marina really can't last out and about until 8pm. Little Miss Grouch.

Hub went off to his wedding today, but not before giving the genkan a complete scrubbing over and insisting I wash the curtains. Ryu and I then went off on a shopping mission for new BBQ grill things (ami) for Monday night. Was meant to hunt out a water blaster too but no luck there so got a bottle of save instead.

Picked Shou and Marina up, did the dinner bath and bed thing. Hub came in - not too pissed. In fact hardly pissed at all which was a bit of a waste considering he gave them 30,000. This wedding had a 'flat fee' (kaihi) of 20,000 that everybody attending HAD to pay to cover all the dinner and shit. They don't expect more and therefore guests don't get loaded with gifts to take home like traditionally used to happen. Hub, being a relative and all, put in an extra 10,000 yen into the pretty pink envelope I got for him - that said Happy Wedding in katakana. Happii Ueddinngu !

I was kind of hopping he would come home looking like he'd eaten and drunk 20,000 yen worth. Instead he came home looking like he'd been drinking slowly but non stop since 11am when he got on the bus and they handed out beer and onigiri. Hmmmmm, perhaps he did have 20,000 yen worth.

Anyhoo, the house is quiet and I need to watch new episode of Cold Case or CSI or whatever is on at 10pm.

SDGH&QL

Nearly a video

2010-07-16T15:47:00.003+09:00

Figured out how to upload videos - oooohhhh, dangerous. This is the one from last night of Marina and Shou -and me trying to get them to say things to NZ granny, and then them slobbering all over the camera lens. I was going to erase the talking cause a) I sound so kiwi (which is no surprise seeing as from NZ but I always get a shock when I hear myself after living in Japan for so long) b) I'm speaking Japanese to the kids (which doesn't bode well for my 'must speak more English' regime) and c) I sound like a complete dickhead. BUT, nevermind. So within the space of two days you get a proper photo AND my voice. God aren't we lucky.

I have nearly finished the DVD for mum. Has taken a bit of navigating my way round the i-movies on the new computer. I was getting quite capable with my old MAC but the new one is set out differently and while I am sure it has loads of cool new functions it has meant a bit of faffing round. After the movie I've put a run of photos with music - Life is a highway from Lightening McQueen. What I'm really hoping for is for me to get a recording of Shou singing it as very comical and much more fun as BGM.

I just need to take a few more pics from the kids kindy festival tonight and then hopefully I can get it away on Tuesday. Yay. Now I just need to recruit my sisters and brother for recent pics so I can order a photo book from frogprints, an online photo place that I have used a couple of times before and found to be really good. That will take a bit more organizing but I think it would be great for all of us to have one and for 3,000 yen each it's well worth the hassle.

Hub came home at lunch time so he could go to get his hair chopped for the wedding tomorrow. I had to withdrawer 30,000 yen ($500) for his gift money. Sigh. He has another one at the end of July too. The wedding bus is picking him up at 10:55am tomorrow morning. The ceremony starts at 1pm and the reception at 3pm. Most people only get invited to the reception but it would appear that, as cousins or tenth cousins once removed or whatever he is, he is expected at the ceremony too. The receptions are generally two hours followed by a bit of faffing round, followed by some more faffing round, before faffing round a bit more and finally getting on the bus home, which will have beer and possibly onigiri provided and quite possibly some 'inflight' entertainment by way of karaoke.

Right, just wait till this finishes loading. Need to ring mum. She had a consult with the oncologist today and I think should have been getting her first round of shite chemo meeds to start on Monday.

edit - an hour and a half later - still won't finish uploading vid so guess it's a no go. Damn. Has also started pissing down but the sky doesn't look all rainy and dark so maybe it will pass - it has an hour or kinder games and fireworks will be cancelled :( Perhaps will have to pick up some fireworks when go to get the kids soon so we can do them when the rain stops. Bugger though. The teachers (and me) have been really working the summer festival up. I swear it's the only reason the kids have done anything I've asked this week!!

SDGH&QL

Edit - thanks to comment by Illahee I uploaded vid onto photobucket and managed to get it here finally. Yay. Now, just ignore my voice and watch silly cute children!! Hub being very romantic (as in hugs and not just hip swivels) so off to bed now.

I Rub You Annie!

2010-07-15T21:35:00.001+09:00

Yesterday did end up being quite shagadellic and therefore today should have started out better but it wasn't to be. It seems that anything about mum gets me either upset or losing my rag at the drop of a hat. I wanted to get the kids recording onto that card so I could sort things out and send them off. I tried I did. You can't really get a two and four year old to practice first though. I was afraid that 'I love you Granny' would turn out as 'I rub you annie' - don't know what I was worried for because the damn card only recorded the last two seconds which as it turned out was Shou saying 'baka' to Marina. Sigh.

I got overly pissed off at my two little angels for not being able to do this little thing that I so wanted to get right. Anyway, there is only so many times you can try and record onto an 800 yen recordable card, so it ended up getting biffed and I was not happy. I asked hub to take the kids to kindy and he helped them with their shoes, got their bags and piled them into the car without a word - me thinks remembering my last melt down about how unsympathetic he was when I got upset about mum. Bless you hub, thanks for helping out - would have made him almost late for work.

I almost had another meltdown when I got on the scales and realized I am back to where I started, despite the Billy and Bollywood efforts this week. Humph. I got changed and sweated it out to Billy telling me I was 'taking flight'. Had a shower, went to the toilet and got back on the scales and after all that sweating and a loo stop I was in fact 200 grams heavier which was a tae bo kick in the flummy. Ah well. One day people, one day I will be fabulous. And I guarantee that I will still be a ranting whining bitch then too. But hey, at least I'll look better doing it :)

I rang my friend for her birthday. She has the craft blog on my sidebar and is currently doing a giveaway so if you are interested in stationary and crafty shite then check it out - all very cute. I feel bad entering it as would take away from the true crafters out there. I just get an urge every now and again - usually after reading her blog!

I got very productive after lunch and made a whole bunch of flashcards, cut them to size and laminated them. Also got evening class ready and dinner in the nabe (pot). Christ I'm efficient when I set my mind to it. Did I tell you I have a baby? I do actually look after him, play with him, feed him, change his shitty nappies and sing bon jovi songs to him too you know. He is a bit of a sleeping legend though and I can usually get a two hour nap out of him in the morning and a one hour nap in the afternoon. Awesome - especially as some translation work should be coming in soon. Fingers crossed. Need to top up the bank account.

I have finally started a proper Japanese wifey 'hesokuri' - which is a stash of secret money you pilfer away and keep in some ridiculous place like in an envelope sellotaped to the underside of the fridge or something. I have decided to keep one third of the English money - really not a 'stash' so much as a 'in case we need money quickly and can't get to a bank because we live in the middle of fuckin nowhere and cash only gets dispensed from the wall between he hours of 8:45am and 5pm. Does anybody else have a hesokuri and do you keep it in some cool place?

Anyway, best be off. Took video of the kids tonight and need to make it into short dvd for Granny. Is well cute and unfortunately I still don't have a cord to attach video to this computer so can't upload it onto you tube for you all to see.

Nearly the long weekend - bugger it. When you have small children that spend most of their time in paid child care having a long weekend results in cabin fever and meltdowns. Having people over for bbq on the deck on Monday night. Probably the worst night I could have asked for but it was fricken near impossible getting the ex-mayor, the ex-head of the town office and the current head of the planning department to agree to a night. Arrrgggghhhhhh. Tis all for the guy from America - who came over the other day. I suggested I try and get some of the guys who would have stories related to what he wants to research (town planning and merging with the other towns etc) out for beers at the local but then realized quite hard to organize this kind of thing without making sound like would pay for whole beef and beer extravaganza (although in reality this wouldn't happen as the old men would all squabble over who was going to pay). So, decided to do at own house and we would be out of pocket but never mind. Not as much as eating out and hopefully they all bring alcohol or something.

6:30 not ideal time as all our kids will still be awake while trying to slice pumpkin, cut peppers and get the coals hot. Ah well, fun and games really.

Nighty night.

SDGH&QL

Trying to get it on

2010-07-14T22:09:00.001+09:00

Warning - Gaijinwife pic to follow. Not doing bollywood or anything exciting, just boring family pic but if you don't want to see it stop reading. I know what it's like. You read a blog and get an image of that person in your head - that no doubt doesn't match the real thing. Nevermind. You have been warned.

As inevitably happens after a down in the dumps post, today was indeed a better day. It did start a bit out of the ordinary. Although, Marina waking up at 4:55am and coming into our room to wake us up and try and coax us downstairs isn't out of the ordinary, and neither is Shou coming in not much later to try and get Marina to jump on the bed and cause general havoc. Absolutely normal.

Hub trying to seduce me while I lean over him trying to shake a cockroach out of the curtains so I can spray the bastard though... heeeelllllooooooooo darling are you still dreaming?? We had the lights off in an attempt to fool the children into going back to sleep until 6am - or at least lie still for Christ's sake. Shou pipes up that he can see a cockroach on the ceiling - which is my worst fuckin nightmare cause the roaches in Japan, as well as being genetically engineered and extremely large, can also fly. Straight into your face if they start up high enough. Shou has of late been into sharing extended versions of tales. Like the snake that was in his bed that magically disappeared when I started looking for it - it jumped out the window according to Shou. So, kind of like the boy that cried wolf I didn't believe the cockroach story.

Yeah, yeah, whatever son, back to sleep with you.

And then I saw it. Creeping down from the ceiling along the top of the wall. I got the spray from on top of the wardrobe and went to battle. I lean over hub. I am not wearing a black lacy bra and crotchless undie set. I am wearing PJs - long cotton PJs. Hub claims that he groped my boob and then tried to give me a wedgie (which is what it felt like but he thinks he was seductively trying to lightly butterfly touch my fanny through my PJs) because 'he thought' I was giving him signals by brushing my boob over his superchinichin - which I might add never happened cause what he thought was my boob was in fact my flummy and by no intention of mine was it swaying seductively over his bits.

So anyway, I batt him off and in doing so lose my moment to get the roach, which goes down behind the bed. Half an hour later, the kids are in Granny K's room, Ryu is still asleep and I sashay upstairs to where hub is, thinking we might start the day with a quickie which hasn't happened for bloody years. After all, really only need a three minute window of opportunity. The moment has passed though and he says tonight my princess tonight.

OK, so all he really says is 'konya yaro' (let's shag tonight), but a girl can dream can't she?

Tonight hub was home early - as in unheard of at half six. The bath and bed thing was all good. We even get Granny K to take a photo of the five of us - the first time ever...

Not so good and extremely grainy but I imagine it will be one of those pics that the kids will all want a copy of when they get older - the only one of all of us kind of thing. I had taken a couple of pics of just the three kids before this...

So Ryu and Marina are asleep and I have had a talk to Shou (AGAIN) about the pros of going to sleep on is own - like the fact that he will get to sleep in a bunk bed with Marina just as soon as he doesn't need mummy or daddy patting his back and lying with him. He said he would sleep by himself so I leave the door open and go to go downstairs - and when I pass our room hub is lying there. He sees me and 'invites' me over - he actually uses his arms instead of just gyrating his hips. Can't resist the offer of some snuggles so I relent. He is all for it but I insist that Shou will be out of bed and into our room in ten seconds and not even hub can finish an international relations meeting that fast. And whadda you know - Shou comes in. Is well pleased to see mummy and daddy a bit entwined and promptly asks to sleep in the middle and even comments that our feet are still touching!!

So anyway, that was the not quite shaggadelic proceedings today. The day is not over though! I can tell you, there was definitely more international relations meetings going on during my horny housewife days.

Thank you all for the comments yesterday and ideas for mum. I took Ryu to the doctors today and seeing as was all the way over in the big smoke decided to get a birthday prezzie for a friend, a prezzie for a friend who has just had a baby and mum's thing. I had decided that an electronic photo frame would be good but they didn't have battery operated ones so I got digital photo book (one you do yourself) and a card that you can record onto so I can get Marina and Shou and Ryu screaming 'hey granny, get better soon, we love you' or something similar!! I having been looking at DVDs too - thank you so much for the ideas. Has been great. I remembered she had bought herself a couple of audio books for the last chemo treatment so I got her some fab bling ear phones and need to get a couple of audio books to go with it.

And in other fun news - I took the rice to the rice ATM today. So, for my friend who has always wanted to know what this was....

These are little buildings that stand alone in the middle of nowhere. You take your bag of rice - between 10 and 30kg (husked - as in straight off the harvester) and...

pour the bag of rice into the right hand side

put 200 yen in and push the button (we get normal rice but you can get really white or only 70% de-husked). The machine starts whirling and spits the ready rice out on the right...

you push a pedal with your foot and it the shoot opens so the rice can fall out into your rice bag.

and then you have to sweep up the rice that didn't make it into the bag cause you were too busy trying to take bloody pics.

And that is rice dehusking 101.

Right, off to bed.

Wink wink, nudge nudge.

SDGH&QL

Random Dribble

2010-07-13T14:48:00.002+09:00

You know those days - not the ones when you brush your teeth with your husband's biore men's facewash, trip over the cat on the way out the door and then try and take your kids to kindy forgetting hub's car is still behind yours and you just about reverse into it. Not those days. The ones you just want to curl back up into bed and wish somebody else would come look after your children, wash the dirty undies, vacuum, go to the bank and supermarket for you, and teach your English class... AND go on a health kick and exercise for you.

Yeah, those days.

Yesterday was OK. I was blog hopping and having a quick coffee in the morning when I came across a pic of some eggs benedict. I am the kind of person that sees something and then NEEDS it. Eggs benedict not on our menu round here and in fact muffins, or crumpets, or anything other than plain bread not available locally so eggs benedict craving turned into bacon and egg pie which turned into having to invite someone over for lunch for fear of eating whole pie by self.

Tried my depressed friend on valium but well she was too depressed to come over. (I shouldn't be light hearted about this I know but I have tried a couple of times since finding out that she has stopped working to meet up but to no avail. Any ideas on how I should go about trying to 'be there' for her that doesn't involve me sitting here on the other side of town on my fat ass doing nothing.) I then tried my other friend who is on leave from work with her small (not literally - three month old weighs 10 kilos) baby.

She said OK, will see you in fifteen minutes - at 11am. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Amazing powers of something meant I had the pie in the oven, the bench cleaned, the floor vacuumed and my hair brushed by 10:59. I kept pottering until 12:10 when she shows up - apologizing for writing the wrong time in her txt. Nevermind. Am sure lost 1500 calories in those fifteen minutes so all good.

I also did Billy yesterday and again this morning - that is five times in the week since I started. I can make it to the end, which was really only two minutes after the dreaded squats so don't know why I didn't get there sooner. Workout ends with everyone joining hands and having a big group hug - in words - and of course something about god, and finding your path and taking flight.

I foolishly thought that all this Billy and feeding the chickens and walking like a gorilla Bollywood style would mean something. For fucks sake. I was THE SAME weight this morning as I was almost 8 weeks ago. You know, I think this flummy to fabulous has saved me from 'putting on' weight - perhaps that was the meaning for me. At this extremely stressful time in your life you shall start a healthy eating and exercise blog so that you refrain from turning into jabber the hut. And if that was the aim then I have been successful. Of course staying the same weight is still lots of kilograms away from fabulous.

I know someone who was in a hugely stressful period in her life. She'd wake up and think about everything on her plate and then get overly depressed and to top it all off well, fuck, she was fat which of course just magnified all the other shit cause surely being depressed and fat is a lot worse than being depressed and skinny. So, what did she do? She went and booked herself in for a gastric band operation. How nice would that be.

Unfortunately I don't want a bit of rubber in my tummy I want will power.

At this rate you will never be audience to my bollywood youtube video.

Anyhoo, I'm sure that was some huge tangent. Where the fuck was I?

OK, so yeah, one of those days. Dropped the kids at kinder - in the lashing rain - AGAIN. Has been pissing rain since yesterday morning. The river outside our house has turned into Niagra.

This is scary because it is seriously three meters from the end of our drive which in turn is only five meters from our front door which means it would take a four year old approximately 3.8 seconds to get from the front door to the edge of the river. There are no guardrails. Shou is obsessed with the river and the level of the water. Like any four year old slash super hero he thinks he can swim. I tried to talk reason with him

mum: but mummy wouldn't even handle swimming in that darling.
Shou: but I'm a boy and I put my head under the water at kindy last week.
mum: look darling, that water is moving reeaaaaaaaaaly fast.
Shou: daddy got in it the other night to save the cat.
mum: it was a beautiful day darling, not a rain cloud in sight. There was only 10cm of water in the river.
Shou: (contemplating the universe) but I put my head under the water at kindy last week.

I am being a river nazi - I have nightmares of my children falling in and being swept away - when it is full of water - or hitting their heads on the concrete bottom when it's nearly empty.

So I guess the rain, the humidity, the worrying that my children are going to drown, the putting up with five people telling me today that Ryu should go to the doctors - he should by the way. His cough is getting quite bad. He didn't get a temperature however until 11:05 am - exactly. I know this because Granny K told me to take his temperature. Obedient daughter in law that I am (snigger snigger) I did. Our hospital is an hours drive away - 50 minutes if get all the green lights and 45 minutes if your wife is in labour in the back seat and it's 2am AND you get all the green lights. So the chances were that I wouldn't get there before they knock off for their two hour lunch break. Can't go after lunch as then I wouldn't make it back in time for my English class.

So what does bad mummy do - she gives the baby some pamol (which I am sure is only good in that it makes the mother feel better that she has actually done something) and declares that she will walk 10km in the snow barefoot tomorrow morning to take the baby to the doctors.

He has been a cling on all day - which is really his main sign that he is feeling a bit under the weather. I had to go to the town office because, by a stroke of luck, I remembered that my gain card expires in three days. Despite being a cling on and not even going to Granny K Ryu did put his arms out to pretty town office divorcee chick - but then I reckon 95% of the men in Kunimi, hub included, would put there arms out to her so I didn't take it personally.

Had to drive to next town over to get passport photos for new gain card. Got the worst photos in the history of passport photos - only for hub to see them and say they weren't so bad - looked just like me. Obviously as is photo of me but still. A bit of lying wouldn't have gone astray - crickey sweetie, that's a harsh pic, must be a shit camera cause you are so much prettier in real life.

Anyway, this post is really going no where. I feel a lot better now though and think I can stop digging that hole I was getting the spade ready for.

Hope everyone else is having better, less depressing weather than us.

SDGH&QL

Oh, and I spoke to mum yesterday. She starts the serious chemo this Friday :( What can I get her? She has had enough flowers to open a florist although I don't think she has any right now. On the chemo drugs she loses her sense of taste so nice foods is out of the question.... Hmmmmm....
I guess this is also behind my depressed mood of late - she is in the middle of buying all the grandkids something. She said she wants to buy them something nice and while she said it doesn't have to be something they keep for ever to 'remember granny by' in the same breath it isn't to be something that they would really want now (ie Shou and a remote control jet fighter). She said she wants them to be able to use it now though. My three older nieces all got very nice bracelets but what for toddlers and babies?? She has gotten Marina and my two other smaller nieces kiddy bracelets - those retractable ones that can get smaller. But boys?? In the same token, I don't want it to be something the kids will lose as it may well be 'the last thing' they get from Granny.

Sob sob. Cancers a bitch.

Best get my little boy, he's having a bit of a snivel himself.

PS - this is what Granny K does to Ryu when he starts to sweat.

Puts a bit of gauze material stuff down his back and leaves half of it out like a cape. Now where did I put Shou's cool mask glasses he made at kindy...

Bollywood & Sunday Guests.

2010-07-11T19:58:00.003+09:00

Took nearly the whole day yesterday to regain my normal constitution. Hub was out at election stuff all day and the kids were at kindy and Ryu, bless him, slept for three hours in the morning. The lunch time chime woke me up. He had obviously been awake for a little while but was by no means nutting out. Talking loudly to himself would be a better description perhaps.

I tried the Bollywood dance dvd in the afternoon and for the first fifteen minutes or so I kept expecting someone to run into the room laughing saying I was on candid camera - that's how comical the dvd was. Come on now, stand there and shake your head, feed the chickens and walk like a gorilla. Some of the foot moves required a bit of coordination and I was forever cursing the camera man who was more intent on bare belly shots and pushed up boob shots. The lead dancer oozed sex despite never saying a word. None of them did in fact. It was all voice overs.

Despite this, I did end up getting a sweat up, although that could have been because was doing in mid day heat and sav blanc was dripping out my pores - even the ones on my toes. Sassymoo suggested I take a vid and upload it onto youtube. I know we all need a laugh as much as the next person but I'm kind scared it would take off like the Susan Boyle thing and next thing you know Oprah would have me feeding the chickens and walking like a gorilla on prime time TV. Tell you what though. I WILL take a video of it and if and when I lose 16 kg I will let you see it - but I might have to move to wordpress or something so I can password protect it for followers only. Kind of defeats the purpose of everyone getting a good laugh out of it though :)

Today was pretty full on. The kids have all been asleep since 6:45 pm. Wow. Silence in the house. That's what happens when neither Shou or Marina have afternoon naps and Ryu's only lasts 45 minutes. Absolutely buggered come dinner time.

Hub took Shou and Marina out this morning - to vote in the election (him not them) and then to the park and back past the supermarket for bentos for lunch. Ryu had a good sleep while I cleaned the house, did a couple of loads of washing and baked some more ginger crunch for our afternoon guests - the same guests I had made it for last Monday but who didn't get any because it wasn't set properly and by the time it was we were so engrossed in talking that I forgot.

Anyway, some pics...

Our afternoon guests. Staying in Kunimi for three weeks and I was the kind of go between for getting their daughter into a school for a two week 'taiken' - experience. He is an anthropologist. Very interesting. Spent a year in a small village in the amazon (as in 300 people) and wrote a book about it and their dialect. He came with his Japanese wife and their 7 year old daughter and a friend's son who is 11 - and from Kunimi.

It was great for Shou and Marina - playing with older kids, who were great at keeping our two entertained.

Chasing the older boy in the ball tent - he was using it like a hamster wheel. I was happy as - thinking the ball tent would still be a goer when the kids were like 10 but then thought probably wont last the distance at this rate! Oh - and the balls that go with the ball tent were kept in the cupboard. Just as well cause that blue ball on the right ended up in the pine tree, the anpanman ball in the river, and a few other toys up a different tree and a shoe on the shed roof.

Marina in the ball tent - in her beautiful dress she got from Cherish Child in NZ.

Hmmmm, it's my first time in the ball tent. Do I go through the tunnel or not.... decisions decisions..

Ok, so I made it in here. All good.

Not too keen on the prickly grass usually but in this thing it aint so bad mum.

and here I am - out the other side. That wasn't so bad. I reckon I'm about ready for one of those dog shows. Just need a ramp and some of those polls to weave in and out of next.

Father and son catch-ball - first pic ever I think. The older boy and friend were playing and I got out the gloves and Shou took interest.

no comment

Shou made this mask at kindy - I went to pick him up the other day and he had it on. One of the other two girls in his class had her red one on with a matching cape. Ryu pinged the mask about two seconds after this pic and Shou wasn't happy!! Ditched the mask, only to have it taken over by Marina...

Bugger off you lot. Have an early night.

SDGH&QL

Yum yum.

2010-07-10T10:10:00.000+09:00

I'm not sure if it's the hangover and just because feeling bit faint after spending the last hour weed eating Granny K's veggie patch - but I am feeling rather delicate. So delicate I could probably scoff down three mince pies, four cheeseburgers and ten packets of twisties. Ouch. Don't laugh. It hurts my head just thinking about it.

I went on shopping expedition for tacos supplies yesterday and what a waste of time that was. Not a taco in sight. I could have sworn that supermarket used to sell them. So not impressed. Decided on lasagna instead only to find the bloody shop didn't have lasagna sheets either. Made it anyway and just did layers of twisty pasta instead. yum yum cheesy goodness, yum yum garlic bread, yum yum salad, yum yum chips and guacamole.

yum yum beer

yum yum chuhai

yum yum sav

and the next thing I know it's 5 am, guests have gone home and I have invented new yoga position on couch with jeans, undies and bra still on. Obviously took my top off and decided had exerted enough energy for time being.

Quite squiffed I was. Hope i wasn't complete lunatic guests. Only two of them and one was driving so only me and one friend drinking. Hub went to sleep after putting Shou to bed at 9.

Hub got the kids breakfast this morning - good man. I had a 'lie in' till half six and then sashayed down the stairs in red silk dressing gown with dragon on the back - to cries of 'kawaii' from Marina and hip grinding from hub. I was still a bit pished and actually in fine form all through the getting dressed lark and taking kids to kindy. Had a great talk to the teachers and even showed them a couple of my latest kick boxing moves.

Now it's nearly 10am and I'm feeling not quite so flash and in desperate need of a mince pie. If maccas wasn't so far away I would go but as is I think I'm probably still over the limit and may well be for the next three days.

After taking the kids to kinder I was giving Ryu his milk before his morning nap and Ganny K asked if i would mind starting the weed eater up for her cause she needed to deal to the weeds in the veggie patch - which is tanbo size (very large). Now it would be a close call as to who/which is tallest - Granny K or the weed eater, so I, big strapping foreign lass that I am, offered to do it for her. An hour, ten fricken million grasshoppers, two frogs and a spider later and it is done and I have a halo glowing over head, albeit probably a bit lopsided and smelling like a brewery.

Right, I'm going back to bed for twenty minutes before Ryu probably wakes up.

Oh, and had lovely dinner and chats - friend who is leaving brought round huge stash of books and 'the Bollywood Dance Workout' - which I am going to try this afternoon, just as soon as I can grind my hips round the lounge without wanting to hurl.

Nighty night.

SDGH&QL

Kitten Rescue

2010-07-09T10:19:00.000+09:00

Our kitten, as well as being houdini, is also rather bloody thick. Last night I was going to my 8pm English class - in the local hall about fifty meters from our house. I was crossing the bridge when I heard a meow. It was getting dark so I had to get a torch to see her but shite, little kitten how on earth did you get down there? There isn't a lot of water in the river and there is a lot of rocks and weeds and reeds and shit in the middle, where the kitten was - surrounded by bull frogs.

The most puzzling thing is is that only her legs were wet. She can't have fallen in. Perhaps she was chasing something, didn't see the drop and flew in, landing on her feet. Or perhaps she shimmied down the concrete side very delicately and waded into the middle for a frog feast. It's not easy to get into the river. I called on hub for help while Shou was on torch holding duties. Hub shimmied (not so delicately) down the side and waded into the middle to pick her up. When I say wade I mean as in up to ankles not armpits. Hub climbing back up the concrete wall was almost comical but hats off to him, well done man, saved the day for a cat you don't even particularly like. Hurrah.

Ryu's vaccination was quite the social occasion. Lots of babies and over half of them I didn't even know - which is surprising in small place like Kunimi. Ryu was having his MR (measles and rubella) injection and was number three in line. My friend was getting the big BCG branding for her 3 month old. Her 3 months old that weighed NINE KILOGRAMS. Talk about chubby checker. Tis no wonder she was back to her original weight after a month and a half. Baby was sucking flummy out through her nipples. Perhaps I could borrow him for a month. Seriously, you look at the baby and forget how young he is and think that he should be bloody almost up and running around - although me thinks even sitting and crawling might be huge obstacles when you have thighs like that to contend with. Fuck he must be hot in summer. Nicely insulated for winter though.

My afternoon English class was good - I think it's my best class. Four 5th year Primary School girls. They have been coming for over two years now. Their reading is really improving and I feel like things are finally starting to pay off for them - and their parents - and me :)

Well, need to get started on the housey shite. Having to reschedule things now that Billy and his Boot Camp have entered my life - three times in the last four days and I'm still not sick of it. I am only on the first DVD - Mission one - and I still haven't done the whole thing through to the end. I did get to 38 out of the 43 minutes today though! Doing full on cardio exercise - the kind where you drip sweat - really amps me up. Makes me want to keep going and while I know walking is still a great form of exercise, it doesn't keep me as motivated as punching the air and kicking with oversized rubber bands on. I lost a kilo this week so I am nearly back to the 83.8kg which I was a three weeks ago. I hope Billy and I form a steady relationship this time and that it isn't too long before I see the 70s again.

Dinner guests tonight so off shopping with Ryu for taco stuff, yummy cheese and wine. Hopefully tonight will be my only blow out and the rest of the weekend wont be a complete right off. Hub has election stuff all day tomorrow (he was meant to be doing Sunday, but was able to change it for tomorrow - this is great news. It means he will be here to help with Nightmare, Chaos and cute Mayhem on Sunday) which means no lunch date and hopefully I can do Billy.

Speaking of Nightmare, Chaos and cute Mayhem...

Check out how scrawny Shou is!! Anybody would think I kept him locked in the attic with only rations of bread and water. God, he definitely didn't get the skinny genes from me or hub. Not even the postman is this boney. And Marina - obviously far too busy to actually pose for a photo. Sorry but anpanman wins. And no, she isn't doing the 'up yours' fingers. She will get the hang of the peace sign one day.

Hey, that cracker looks pretty good. Gizza bite...

Back away from my cracker cat. Bugger off and let me snack in peace man.

Where you going boy? What the fuck do you think you're doing aye?

Don't even think about it. This chair aint big enough for the both of us.

Well, hello there. Aint this cozy.

The kitten ended up winning out and Ryu lost his cracker :)

SDGH&QL

jabs, jabs and more jabs

2010-07-08T12:15:00.002+09:00

Shou had his jab on Tuesday, the kitten had one yesterday and Ryu is getting one in a couple of hours. Too many needles for one week.

I gave in and bought a cat carry thing yesterday. For practical purposes putting the kitten in an upside down washing basket with the bumbo on top for weight on the floor in the front seat of the car is fine, but I really needed something to carry her into the vet's in. So, I stopped at the home centre in the next town over and forked out 3,000 yen on the cheapest one they had, put her in it and then put her in the back of the car. Two seconds later I just about stomp her while breaking going round a corner. Little fuckin houdini. I have no idea how she got out but she got promptly put back in and all latches triple checked, some chain and locks, a few bolts and a pair of handcuffs and she was staying put until we got to the vet's. The vet's was deserted again and we were in and out in less than five minutes, during which Ryu slept in the car. Easyness but not cheapness - cost bloody 4,000 yen ($65) for one injection that had three vaccinations in it. She needs a booster in a month and then nothing till next summer. If hub knew I spent 7,000 yen on the cat in one day he would have a bloody fit. Asked about getting her fixed and doc said can't do that until she is 6 months.

English was as per usual for my little kids Wednesday class. One little girl turned up at half three - AGAIN and her mother didn't even have her job today - what's the deal with that? I am seriously going to be away from the house until ten to four for the next three classes so they get the idea that I am not a baby sitting service.

Hub was home early last night which helped and he put all three of them in the bath. Marina is going through an 'I don't wont to have a bath and am quite happy being a smelly bitch for the rest of my life' stage. I have to fee fi fo fum and run after her and fireman lift her over my shoulder to get her into the bath. it works though - although she has only had showers, her protest over the bath is that the water will hurt her itchy bites.

I got up to bed about an hour after hub and had to lean over him to get the remote to turn off the light - although if he had his way we would sleep with the light on the dimmest setting all bloody night, with the bedroom door open and the hall light on also. I'm fine with the hall light being on dim all night as the kids sleep with their doors slightly open but we don't need our light on. Anyway, he thought that my leaning over him was more of a me offering my body. Honestly, I didn't even touch the man. He must have sensed me in his snoring slumber. Next thing I know and he has grabbed me, which I must admit was quite nice and well one thing led to another.

Walked the kids to kinder this morning and we saw two turtles (we look for them every day and it's a 'good' day when we see one, it's a 'great' day when we see two, and if we see more than two it's a fuckin miracle.) We also saw two of the jumbo big as both your hands cupped together bullfrogs, two snakes and about five thousand crabs, cicadas and dragon flies. 7 o'clock in the morning by the way. I do like our nature walks - especially when Shou and Marina are in singing moods and will happily sing the whole way. Shou is into the ABC song and 'Life is a Highway' which we belt out to anyone who cares to listen that early in the morning.

I had English at their kinder this morning. Third time and guess what. It was FUN. The first time was the punching incident and Shou and Marina being all clingy. Second time was better and today even better. I read them a book I have on yummy and yucky. There was a game, some singing and some stickers. And to think I used to get paid 50,000 NZ dollars a year to do this kind of thing being a CIR on JET all those years ago. And now I do it out of the goodness of my heart so that the kids my kids will go to school with will be a bit more interested in English, know the funny gaijin and hopefully not give my kids grief because they have big noses, and curly/blonde hair and are fluent in singing the ABC song and 'Life is a Highway'.

Ryu is hopefully down for a power nap before his jab at half one and then I guess it's home for some Billy, dinner making, more English, dinner, bath and bed for the kids, more English and bed for self.

Having a wee dinner party tomorrow night with a couple of friends. Arriving after at least one, hopefully two of the three sprogs are in bed. One friend is on JET and leaving in a few weeks. She is off to OZ for a working holiday and god knows if she will ever pass through this way again so time to have a few vinous and say goodbye and good-luck. I haven't had tacos in forever so I think that will be the adults menu.

Right, time to sort English and fill in vaccination form - that includes child's birth weight. How does this have any relation to the jab? They don't check your child's current weight - only his/her temperature.

SDGH&QL

Billy & His Boot Camp

2010-07-07T09:43:00.001+09:00

Ryu is still awake upstairs despite being awake since half five this morning. Might need to have a quick shower and then bundle him up and take the cat for her jabs - which didn't happen yesterday.

After walking to the kinder and back I dug Billy and his Boot Camp out from under the stairs. They have been waiting to see the light of day for a while. I did the first workout but crashed and burned after 35 minutes out of the total 45 I think. Pretty good effort for first time in about three years though. My aim for the next couple of weeks is to do it at least once every two days and this time in a fortnight be able to get through the whole thing. It has bloody squat and thrust things at 35 minutes though. God damn it.

So anyway, that took over my trip to the vets so Ryu and I shall go on our mini road trip today.

Shou had his vaccination which was an experience to say the least. We had talked about it and although he wasn't keen on the injection he went along with it because he wanted the goodies at the other end - a trip to the store on the way back to kinder.

We arrived at the social welfare centre, along with the majority of other kids who will be in his school year. Mainly boys by the looks of it. Wow, the noise in that one room, the energy, the running. It was comforting I think to see that four year old boys village-wide are all maniacs, and in fact Shou was one of the 'calmer' boys - although he did get rid of some energy out in the very long deserted hallway, pushing a block truck up and down the length of it about four times. Fortunately I didn't have to join him and my only responsibilities were standing in very important tunnel position.

The boys and mums went in in groups of 8 (only 2 groups) and there was only a load of chairs on the 'other side' of the curtain. We could all hear, and almost see everything going on. When it's babies I don't think this kind of setup matters too much but when the kids are old enough to know that the doctor and tray full of needles means ouch bloody ouch and they can hear the kid before them going 'itai itai itai itai' then it's not so good.

Shou was fine until we sat down. He did one huge scream when the needle went in and then just cried normally for a little bit - most of which was in one of the other rooms I took him to so that the kids who hadn't been yet wouldn't see him cry. Not for staunch I am man reasons, but for the 'fuck, everyone's crying it must be really bloody sore' reasons. He calmed down though and off we set for goodies.

He chose a small pkt of lolls and then took off to the book section where he picked up a train coloring book - which the lady gave us free which was a bonus. I still don't know why really. She said something about it having been there for ages and that we could just have it.

I'm not sure what it's like in other areas in Japan but the Japanese encephalitis vaccination just came back this year and Shou is the first group to have it. It used to be free but the vaccination wasn't so good and lots of kids got temperatures and sick after it so they stopped it. You could get it but you had to pay for it. Now the vaccination type has changed and it is free again. Good news, cause I didn't know anything about it really and if we had had to pay for it probably wouldn't have gotten it.

English yesterday afternoon was fine although the kids are all a lot more interested in the kitten and the adventure playground than they are in English. I would be too but. The kitten that still has no name. The kitten that hub thinks I need to start putting pants on so the neighborhood toms and village strays don't rape and pillage it and leave us with a pregnant kitten about to have a litter of seven more. Little does he know I am just going to get it fixed without telling him - him of the thinking that 20,000 yen is far too much to spend on a cat.

Hub was late home again last night - half nine. The kids were pretty good for dinner and I even managed to get Marina in the shower which was a bonus. Shou wasn't keen and that's fine as I took the Japanese route of no baths after vaccinations. Hub bought home two cold beers with him and I DIDN'T HAVE ONE. This deserves a major pat on the back.

pat pat pat pat pat

Thank-you

When I was cleaning out some of the English stuff yesterday I came across an old diary - 9 years old from when I was on JET. I was 65kg, running every day in preparation for a half marathon and then a duathlon and was wanting to get down to 63kg by my birthday. I was running between 6-10 km every day and biking every second. I had even stopped drinking for a few months which I was surprised at as my recollection of JET was lots of booze and definitely on the weekends and possibly all five days leading up to it.

Right, better get into that shower. There is some serious banging going on upstairs which I hope isn't Ryu head banging to heavy metal being played in his head. Hope he's just trying to kick a hole in the wall instead.

SDGH&QL

A Better Day

2010-07-05T21:28:00.000+09:00

No fuckwitt husbands entering this post. Not because he has been being particularly nice and lavishing me with cuddles, kisses, flowers and big fat bits of bling, but because he hasn't been here. Due to arrive home shortly.

I guess he did do a lot this morning, after a short exchange of words...

hub: fuck I'm, sick of getting up at 6.
GW: what are you complaining for, I've been up since 5.
hub: why does everything have to be bloody fair with you all the time (true)
GW: I'm not saying it does just don't expect sympathy from me for having to get up at 6 when I've been up with one, then two and then three of our children before you even get out of bed. We could do one day on one day off?
hub: oooooh OK, and why don't we do I work one day, you work one day too?
GW: piss off.
hub: you're only saying that cause you know you've got it easy.
GW: double fuckin piss off
hub: honestly, at home all day with only one of the kids
GW: right, that's it, physical challenge you prick, you better fuckin run fast cause this fry-pan looks sore.

Just some early morning banter to start the day.

He then washed all the dishes and took the rubbish out. While I was sipping a latte and reading the latest House and Garden Mag. Splutter splutter, wouldn't that be nice.

But seriously, he did do the dishes and take the rubbish out. I think he even managed to say goodbye (to the children) when I left to take them to kindy.

and he has just walked in the door, given me a big hug, thanked me for his waiting dinner and produced a cold vending machine beer from his work jacket pocket.

So for today, minus the above banter, la casa de gaijinwife has been peaceful.

Ryu slept this morning while I sorted out house stuff and the never bloody ending pile of washing. We went and did some shopping, deposited some money so JCB don't ring me up again and went to the produce market for the first watermelon of the year. 800 yen for a big one - no way I'd be pushing that fucker out the saloon doors. I even felt generous enough to give 1/4 of it to Granny K. Through the kindness of my heart and nothing to do with fact that however which way I tried it I couldn't fit the whole thing in the fridge unless I decided to eat two big jars of vegemite and a huge jar of spag sauce in one sitting.

Had some visitors after lunch. An American man and his Japanese wife. They are in Kunimi for a few weeks so he can do some research. Their 7 year old daughter is in one of the primary schools for the next two weeks and I will be interested to see how her Japanese comes along. She can understand everything but chooses not to speak Japanese, even though her mother and father only speak to her in Japanese at home. The dad is an anthropologist and linguistics professor at a University in the states and it was very interesting talking to him about this, that and the other. They might be coming back on Sunday when the kids will be around.

I got a phone call from the university I used to work at - was I available on the 20th for some interpreting at the annual summer review. Considering I haven't done simultaneous interpreting at a thing like that before like um, ever, and also considering that the only thing I would be comfortable in talking about at the moment would be twat husbands and perhaps the kindergarten system and lack of discipline for girls that chomp and boys that punch umm , well I had to graciously decline. I felt bad, but I think I would probably stress for the next two weeks thinking about it, worry that the mic wouldn't fit nicely over my hair, and probably vomit twice a day with the anxiety - which perhaps not totally bad thing as would counteract any bad eating. Translating fine. Interpreting between two people or a person and a small group of people about non business related stuff - fine. Interpreting with a head set in a room of university presidents, deans and professors, half of whom have better Japanese than me and would therefore know when I just missed shit out or fucked up - not cool.

Does anybody do this kind of simultaneous interpreting. I think it's fantastic. I would love to be able to do it but there is a huge difference between being fluent in a language and being able to interpret at that level. Of course the experience would help but never mind.

And that's that. The kids were good for dinner, bath and bed. No major tantrums or mummy meltdowns.

Busy day tomorrow - vets for the cat's summer diseases jab, social welfare centre for Shou's Japanese encephalitis jab and then English.

Hope whatever it was in the water that was turning husbands crazy over the last couple of days has eased off. Enough of that shit already.

SDGH&QL

Sorry, more ranting.

2010-07-04T21:18:00.000+09:00

(Lots of fuck this and fuck thats - you have been warned)

Seishinteki ni yowai...

Can't think of a good translation - mentally weak? is the direct translation.

Hub decided he is surrounded by 'mentally weak' people... meaning Shou and me....

Shou - for getting in a tiz because the frog he was trying to catch jumped under the deck.

Me - because my mum has a brain tumor and I got all upset about it and because I can't separate that from my being a mother here and now.

I've decided I live with a complete fuckwit.

OK, so that was this morning anyway. We are now fine and having a drink in front of Sunday night TV.

I lost it a bit this morning - I guess it was the result of yesterday and a whole nother night to think about mum and get upset. This is some of the happy banter passed between myself and hub this morning.

Hub: why are you in such a foul mood?
GW: don't know
Hub: well, fuckin snap out of it, it's not even 7am. Today is going to be a long bloody day.
Gw: actually, I'm upset about mum (snivel snivel)
Hub: well, you don't need to get all sad about it now in front of the kids.
GW: I know, but it's just kind of built up and fuckin hit me like a hard something hitting me over the head.
Hub: You shouldn't be getting upset about that when you have life here now to be living (sorry, crap translation)
GW: Fuck darling. Mum's got a fuckin brain tumor. This time we go home might be the last time I get to spend time with her and you're 'telling me off' for getting all cry girlie. Fuck you. (sob sob - really crying now) All I want is for you to understand - to try and understand a bit more.
Hub: I do understand. My dad died of cancer remember.
GW: I know and it's fuckin terrible but you could see him every bloody day if you wanted. You didn't live on the other side of the damn world with three small children so don't fuckin tell me it's the same.
Hub: it was your choice to stay in Japan and get married. You shouldn't have married me. Why don't you go home.
GW: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck (leave room to go have howl in room)
Hub: Jesus Christ (OK, so he so didn't say anything remotely like that but the sentiment was the same) why am I surrounded by 'mentally weak' people?

.... happy banter.... happy banter....

GW: I don't want you to tell me to piss off back to NZ every time we have a bloody argument. All I want is for you to come and give me a damn hug and say that everything will be OK and that you understand - even if it won't and even if you don't.
Hub: (giving me a hug) shhhh, shhhhh, (or rather yossssshhhh yosssshhhhhh) I'm sorry about your mum. I know it must be hard. It's going to be OK. Don't cry.

Suitcase packing avoided for another day.

I don't even really know what started me off this morning. Could have been Granny K. Stupid cow. Marina was running round in her green tutu and Shou was outside pushing the cat round the garden in Marina's pram. Granny K was out on the deck watching Shou. The cat, after doing a stellar effort and staying in there for a good 45 seconds, jumped out. Shou tried to catch her and put her back in but she wasn't having any of that and took off. Shou wanted someone to go get her. Granny K tried to talk reason and Shou just packed a tiz. In the end Granny K pulls out the 'shiran' (don't know, don't care) line.

This line infuriates me to no end. Hub uses it to. For fucks sake. The boy is 4. You can't just say you don't care and then fuck off.

That and Granny K pulling out, this morning, that she had to go and buy a new mobile phone TODAY. I started getting all girlie emotional - Granny K heard it all and decided that she didn't need the phone today and then promptly took off out for four hours.

Hub took Shou and Marina to the park and Ryu and I had some down time while I got 'mentally stronger'.

This afternoon I went to drop off the photo frame to the friends with the new house -that they moved into yesterday and Friday. When I was a CIR I worked with the hub and his wife I got to know because she started at the office a few years after me, I went to their wedding and she is in the baby and small children dept ( has some sort of certification) and so always saw her at the vaccinations and the likes. While she was on maternity leave with each of her three children we would see each other about once a month for coffee.

She's lovely. Very nice. I made the comment about how hard it must have been sorting out all the new house stuff, three pre school children and working full time. She admitted that she had been on leave from work for the last two weeks and had a mild case of depression which she went to the doctors for and got some drugs to help her sleep and the likes.

I shouldn't have said anything to hub. He asked how they were and what office she was in now and commented that he hadn't seen her much lately to which I replied that she was taking a break from work. He started speculating as to 'physical' reasons why she was away - was she pregnant rah rah. I should have shut up and let him speculate but it's a small town and wrong speculation goes round like wild fire. I said she was probably just stressed from everything.

Hub called her weak as well - which got me fuckin angry and I felt I had a point to make on behalf of all us 'mentally weak' women. He doesn't seem to think working full time, raising three kids (as the mother) and organizing a new house is sufficient for needing some down time. After all, the husband does the same - it is so not the fuckin same though. She went to the doctors and the doctor told her not to beat her self up about it and that a lot of women come to him. Hub, he just thinks she should pull her head in and get on with it and that clinical depression is being 'zeitaku' - a luxury that normal people can't afford. How nice to have a doctors note to stay home from work.

He then said that what I had on my plate was worse and 'more worthy' of getting self sucked down the big dark hole of depression.

Well hub, aren't you one lucky bastard having such a 'mentally strong' wife. A mother with cancer, living with mother in law, three small children, part time work, housewife shit and putting up with your pathetic lying ass and I agree- It's a fuckin miracle I'm nice to you at all.

And fuck right off if you think you're getting a shag tonight.

I'd rather cut the fucker off and feed your balls to the cat.

SDGH&QL

Long Jumble

2010-07-03T21:11:00.002+09:00

I've got a lot to post - lots going on in this head of mine. bit of a meltdown, the kids being cute, hub being a bit of a dickhead, Granny K not thinking - which really led to the meltdown and hub being a dickhead, and really rather pathetic and over the top but hey - life has a way of being life, getting in the way, making our days what they are.

The day started out OK I guess although I made four phone calls to NZ, including mum. That was fine - she's lost all her hair from halfway back and the front and sides are falling out from chemo reaction now too. She got a new wig today - a bit more shaggy looking than the very styled one she got first off. She has two more weeks until the serious chemo starts. Fuck I'm scared - I'm scared that I won't know the timeline. I'm sure mum and dad probably think they are doing us a favor by not telling us details but I would rather know. In March we got told a year, after the op they said perhaps we will still be chasing her round the neighborhood in her nighty but now people aren't so positive. The topic kind of gets avoided now and it scares me.

Later, I was reading comments from my 'how to raise bilingual kids' post and got thinking about how I could take the kids back to NZ for a few months to amp their English level up - when Shou was perhaps 6, Marina 5 and Ryu 3. That way Shou and Marina could go to the primary school up the road from my parents house - where I went to. And then it hit me, in two years....

FUCK, there is a possibility mum won't even be here, in which case dad would have moved cause house is too big and sister, who lives round the road, will have moved as her hub is currently doing renovations on the house to put it on the market. Life as we know it folks.

It kind of hit me. I didn't say anything to hub and I may have not even realized it myself until the whole fuckin curry saga.

I bought meat to make curry - being a person of not many menus I do not know what to do with curry meat except make curry. We didn't have any curry ru (squares) so I asked hub to please pick some up on the way to pick the kids up from kinder - not a hard request as shop 500 meters away sells it.

In Japan the instant curry mix comes in sweet (not sweet but by no means curry-ish in anyway and perfect for family with small persons including one year old who now eats everything), medium (I like, but too hot as is for whole family) and hot which I never buy but isn't hot by hot standards but still too much for small kids. I realize that in remote villages in india babies are eating vindaloo for breakfast but here, the sweet Japanese curry is all the kids manage at the moment.

Hub comes back with medium - and this was the start of the rant.

I looked at the packet and immediately asked why he got medium and not the usual sweet - he said Granny K got it. She went with him and had some shopping to do so he took her to the supermarket in the next town over before getting the kids. He said he asked Granny K the same question - why the medium? I said so you realized she go the wrong one? could you not have given her that packet and picked up a sweet one on the way back?

This of course begs the question of why did I put the stuff in the curry when really I should have just gone out and got the proper stuff myself? Instead it caused an argument about curry and adding milk and honey - which I did and in the end the kids ate it - but in a normal world, I would think the hub would mutter some form of apology for getting the wrong shit, the wife would smile and say no worries sweetie I'll just add some milk and some honey and the world would be at peace.

But here, hub turns the argument around, demands I put milk and honey in the curry and then belittles me for not doing it and why don't I ever listen - I do end up putting it in and then I set the kids dinner and hubs and pack my little third child bundle of joy up and head out in the car for half an hour - to a barrage of 'bakas' from hub.

This shouldn't have resulted from the wrong curry purchase. It was a culmination of things and I don't expect hub to pick up on this shit. But fuck it. I asked him to pick something up, he made a mistake (well Granny K did and by default it is his mistake) and should have at least said a 'hey sorry babe' comment.

I thought I would buy an onigiri at the shop and give that to Ryu for dinner while I contemplated the universe on 'my drive' - a circuit that goes out past the coast and takes about twenty minutes. I started getting all upset half way though (about mum not curry) and decided, seeing as raining as well, that in bestest most safest interests of beloved third child sitting in back seat that I return home - so I do.

Shou and Marina have been fed. I feed Ryu, bath him and ignore hub. He washes the dishes, scrubs the bench, stops Shou from being hit by the inbred electrician in his van, stops both kids from falling in the river, bathes them and cleans the shite from their ears...

Ryu seriously DOES NOT MOVE from this position for a good five minutes. There is another pic but hub made me promise I wouldn't post one with his tum in it...

Sorry hub - but that's pay back for being a prick.

When I read what I have just written back it doesn't seem like such a big deal but at the time it felt a bit major - by the time I got home from my drive I was a bit more in focus. Hub didn't notice I had been crying and I couldn't be assed going into speal about why I was really upset... Christ, if I really wanted a partner that understood what I did I would be a fuckin lesbian.

And the cute stuff...

Shou found Marina's angel wings.

Ryu playing peek a boo with the new pink plastic cat food tray we bought today.

Trying to escape from daddy at lunch.

when I try and escape from daddy I have a suitcase :)

And that's the end of the ramble. Sorry.

SDGH&QK

Real Overtime

2010-07-02T22:30:00.002+09:00

Today was extremely uneventful. Actually so was last night come to think of it. No beer, no nightly antics - bar Ryu waking up for half an hour at 2am and then awake awake at 5am. He was back in bed at half six though and still asleep when I got back from walking kids to kinder at half eight. Sorry, usually call it kindy but my automatic spell check keeps turning it into kidney and I have to re-type it. Need to change settings.

Did extremely exciting house wifey (non-horny type) things in the morning and then Ryu and I went for walk up to High Tiger Boy's house (Takatora). He is one seriously amped kid. If Shou behaved like he did hub would have him in getting checked for ASD or ADSL as I always almost write. High pitched yelping, jumping and laughing like a hyena all at the same time - according to his mum he was just happy to see Ryu - who is that little bit older than his little sister and therefor more of a 'playmate' - as in crawls - as in as fast as possible away from the disaster zone. Not really a disaster zone so much as a get out of my face zone. And mum wonders why her ten month old doesn't sleep during the day!!

Ryu and I both had nap after lunch and I woke up with dribble on the pillow thinking it must be about 4pm but was only just before two. Got an email from hub not long after saying that he would be late because he seriously was doing overtime tonight. Christ, if there isn't more a suspicious mail than that. I plot my plan - ask Granny K to look after Marina and then I take Shou and Ryu after the dinner and bath lark.

It would appear that hub was in fact working. I see his car parked in front of the office though and i still don't feel 100% sure. He has told me before that his friend used to keep a fold up bike in the back of his car so he could park at work (for those times his wife came to check) and bike to pachinko - which is about 300 mtrs away from their office. I know, I know. Don't even start. It's all just fuckin ridiculous.

So today was THE FIRST time I have gone to check-up on him and his car (and most probably him) have actually been at the office. We ended up going to the vid shop to get construction vehicle vid for Shou - and to give me an alibi to give Granny K and hub if any of the fifty people from Kunimi that work at his office saw us on our travels and told him - wouldn't surprise me. After all, another bloke who is from Kunimi and who works in the same building as hub told him the other night that he should go home early as his wife had told him that I had mentioned (not to her but to one of the other ladies) at the town check up for Ryu that the only thing I was concerned about was that hub wasn't home enough to help with the kids at night. God all bloody mighty.

Ah well. Gotta love living in rural Japan and being married to a lying sometimes pachinko loving Japanese man.

Or, being a Japanese man and being married to a suspicious foreign woman!!

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

I intend to spend it having sushi and otherwise trying to get fabulous by walking, having ten course meals of air and drinking loads of water.

Mozzie Bitches

2010-07-01T21:50:00.002+09:00

Thank you for your comments on the last post. I'm still keen to hear more about how kids have been brought up with two languages so please comment if you can and you haven't yet. I tried hard today to use English with the kids. Ryu gets it a lot but then we go out he gets more Japanese - like today when we went to the supermarket and got accosted by three pre-vestlings almost the second we walked in the door. Seriously, I hadn't even picked up a bloody basket yet. I knew all three women so it is OK that he got passed round between them, but quite often we'll get random strangers wanting a hold too. I quite often do the half laugh, I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about thing then though.

Shou wasn't too much of a monster around dinner time which means I don't lose my rag and am more in control of what bad parenting words come out my mouth. I tend to switch into Japanese when they are playing up and I'm about to have a mummy meltdown.

Tonight, being the 1st of the month, hub had to go to noddy town wannabe fire brigade. He took Shou with him which Shou loves cause it means he gets a ride in the fire engine - which they drive round the neighborhood with the loud speaker on saying shit like don't throw your cigarette butt into a pile of tissues and newspaper. Or if you do plan on doing this please do so under the window on the far side of the Aramaki house across the river from the community centre. Tonight Shou got to do the loud speaker - which is testament to how serious they go about it. It was very cute though and he took it very seriously. They stopped outside our house for a couple of minutes and we got to 'hear?' the whole speal -which was Shou saying what daddy was telling him to, but at the same time trying to see me out the window so we .. ly g.. its of t... messa...

Had English this evening and got home to silence which is always nice. Shou got ATTACKED by some mozzies while he was at the fire brigade thing and has a total of 23 bites...

three in this pic, three more on the other cheek, five in total on his neck and the rest on his arms and ankles with a couple on his tummy from when he took his shorts down to go pee in the grass. He's one tasty boy. He should have been sprayed with mozzie repellant but wasn't. Daddy shouldn't have left him playing by himself for so long either. Wish he had copped on a bit sooner. They looked worse than this and then started getting better. I'm not sure if he is allergic or if it is the mozzies here but last year he had one that he scratched and it turned into a hard (but with liquid in ti kind of hard) welt the size of a marble - on his ankle. I hope he manages to last tonight without a big scratching session. Poor thing.

As I was looking up mozzie remedies - because I thought cooling them was a good idea and hub was telling me to piss off - I found out that only the female mozzies bite - to get whatever they need to lay eggs. Can tell you, the mozzie bitches that munched out on Shou will be spewing out eggs from now until bloody Christmas. Anyway, found out that putting ice on them does relieve itching - but then he had too many and we don't have child-size ice pack towel on hand for such occasions. I read that toothpaste can work, as can baking soda and water paste!! Interesting. we just used the stuff from the chemist but it's good to know this stuff cause the baby stuff is really weak and not very effective and the adult stuff probably a bit strong for Ryu and even Shou and Marina really. Especially when you are putting it on the face. Would rather they get toothpaste in their mouth - although any of those in the eye would sting.

Speaking of mozzies - got a call from the town office today to check if I was taking Shou for his first Japanese encephalitis vaccination next Tuesday. This is a disease passed to humans by mozzies. The mozzies get it from pigs or birds. Very rare cases cause paralysis. Very rare but more common in rural areas when mozzies a plenty - and no doubt if there was a JE caring mozzie it would find Shou. So yes, we will be getting the vaccination, followed 28 days later by another.

Went on a get out of the house for ten bloody minutes drive with Ryu this arvo - before the supermarket. Went past friends house for whom the electronic photo frame is for.

I'm not sure if all of the inside is down yet. There were some (quite buff) workers finishing off the garden. This is a 'sekisui' house I think. Looks very lego-land like but I bet the inside is lovely. Japan do very good kit-set houses. Not entirely kit-set I guess. Still went up with hammer and nails plank by plank but the outside is called 'siding' and comes in long pieces. I think a lot of Japanese people with these new houses have trouble with proper windows. Lots of thin ones around, and I'm presuming that low window on the bottom left is where the bathroom is. It isn't entirely box in shape it has a balcony upstairs with a place to hang washing.

Both English classes went well today - it is satisfying when you have those classes where you really feel that they are making progress.

Early night.

SDGH&QL

Nothing exciting really.

2010-07-01T09:42:00.001+09:00

The weather today I can handle - it will get hot, and no doubt muggy, but at least we didn't all wake up sweating. There might even be a bit of a breeze which means washing will get dry. God, the things that occupy my mind. Ten years ago the only thing I was probably thinking on a Thursday morning was that it was nearly the weekend and surely I could twist someone's arm into going out this evening to help celebrate the fact.

I got everything crossed off that list yesterday.

The one I really wanted to get you couldn't hang on the wall. This has all the good functions - clock, calendar, photos, videos, MP3, ... all for the very reasonable price of 12,000 yen. This one didn't say but the most it cost any of the others to run for an entire month was 50 yen. Now all I need to do is wrap it and take it over.

Sent the electric cigarette - got tobacco 'flavor' but you can get mint, strawberry, grapefruit.... The one I got only came with two spare cartridges that you can 'suck' about 150 times each. Have no idea if my sister will even use it but worth a try.

Four fuwafuwa winter blankets getting dry-cleaned as I type.

Nappies, milk - check

Lunch with friend - check. Ryu absolutely loves my friend the 'blender' (belinda). He probably sees her once a fortnight but there must be something about her because Ryu can go from grumpy to grinning like a rockstar on speed. We had sushi - second time this week for me. The master sushi dude at the place is slowly warming to me. When I made my 'usual' order I fucked it up and he said 'don't you mean such and such' - hmmmmmm, spot the gaijin who goes to sushi and only ever orders ebi, corn and bintoro no aburi!! Ryu had three plates all to himself and I imagine that when the kids get bigger going to the revolving sushi wont be a 'cheap' lunch option anymore.

Got some goodies for hub's bonus day dinner. And he commented on how good the service was. Tried to show even better service at international relations meeting last night and it was going fine - but that's just it. It was going and going and going - for fricken ages. Makes me think hub has a secret stash of viagra somewhere. That's all the meeting was though. No finishing with a bang last night. Hub apologized and said it was because he had had too much too drink. He hadn't really. When he's really pished this has happened before but it hasn't happened for aaaaaaaaaaaages. Must say I take the whole thing very personally. I know I shouldn't what with all the other times lately being absolutely fine but still, there is that 'aaahh, it's all cause I've got too many wobbly bits'. Sigh.

If anything, it has probably given me the motivation to try and hitch a ride on that diet wagon again this month. After a supposed whole month of supposed healthy eating and I am back where I started. I have made a calendar for this month though - so I get to write a big fat (and getting skinnier) cross at the end of each day. I like that kind of shit.

A question to mothers of four year olds, present or past.

Shou is getting more interested in English. Last night we spent a good forty minutes coloring and tracing. When he was doing the tracing page I was telling him the order and half the time he was following that and the other times he wasn't. Should I be trying to make him write the letters properly or should I just be glad that he's even interested at all?

When he was born I told myself I would only speak to the kids in English and that when he turned three I would try and start with flash cards and stuff. It was hard to stick to this when between the time he was born and the time he turned three I was pregnant for 80 weeks, in hospital pushing out babies through the saloon doors for two, and breast feeding for a lot of the rest.

I am very bad about speaking to them in English all the time. He definitely does understand most of what I say though. This morning though, after he had deliberately hit Ryu over the head with a cardboard box, leaving Ryu covered in a million pieces of paper that he had spent twenty minutes cutting up before breakfast, we had this conversation...

Mummy: Say sorry to Ryu (said in English)
Shou: eigo de iuwanaide (don't say it in English)
mummy: Say sorry to Ryu please Shou (said in English)
Shou: gomennasai (sorry - said with about as much conviction as alcoholic saying they'll never have another drink)
Mummy: Thank you Shou
Shou: thankyou jyanai deshou, arigato. (not thankyou, arigato)

I don't want to make a big thing of English. I want it to come naturally for them when they are ready - obviously I need to speak to them in it more for this to happen but still.

What did you or are you doing with your four year old in regards to English learning/teaching? The kids watch dvds in English quite happily, and Shou usually just goes about things with me talking to him in English and him answering in Japanese. Must say hub's English, especially his listening, has gotten a lot better lately.

hmmmmmm, I really think one of the best things I can do for my kids is to raise them with two languages. I just wish I was better because I know I will regret it later.

Must. Speak. More. English. To. Kids.

Right, off to hang out washing and perhaps see if I can get the weedeater going without having to ring up hub for an over the phone instruction session - how girlie pathetic.

SDGH&QL

Class with Junior High kids.

2010-06-30T06:10:00.003+09:00

Set my alarm to get up for the second half of the Japan - Paraguay match but was too tired and in hindsight I'm glad I didn't. Obviously not a 'true' supporter but that's pretty obvious considering I only really get enthusiastic over soccer come world cup time. Japan goes wild with the stuff so it is very difficult not to get through a day without some kind of soccer coverage. Must admit some of the lads are a bit of alright and I do like those programs where they look into their past and show them kicking a ball round with their brothers when they are four kind of thing.

Ryu and I had a town baby thing yesterday. He only just got weighed and shit last week so they flagged that but they needed numbers for the Junior High kids 'lets experience what it's like to be pregnant and look after a baby for five minutes so that it deters us from shagging up and getting pregnant at the age of 16'.

Their is only one class of third years at the Kunimi Junior High School. They got split into two and had turns with the pregnancy suit and then in with us asking questions, changing nappies and the likes. There were only six babies and Ryu was the oldest. He got A LOT of attention which is both nice but embarrassing. I was talking quite a bit to Ryu in English and he was in fantastic smiley form and I'm not entirely sure if the kids didn't leave thinking they would go accost the next foreigner they meet and shag up so they get a cute baby.

(the back of) Ryu and two kids who will be in the same school year. The girl in the back is 'High Tiger' boy's little sister and they live about five minutes up the mountain road from us - she is wearing Marina hand me downs. The boy in the front is a friend's son (who I used to work with back in the days of CIR). She has a 14 year gap between her kids - for various reasons. It's nice that she has a baby now though as we see each other at all these things and will get to be Monster Parents together on the PTA.

Ryu (I just wrote Shou and had to delete it) being very compliant while a boy tries desperately to get his foot through the nappy hole. Now he has his nappy off Ryu had a bit of a 'play' with his bits which the two boys thought was a great laugh.

Doing the 'yuri kago' - rock a bye baby kind of thing using a bath towel. The class was held from 2pm until half three and Ryu was a rockstar for the first hour but by this stage he was starting to get sleepy and if these boys had kept rocking for two more minutes he would have fallen asleep. I tried to convince them to stop by our house every night at half seven, and to bring three towels and four more friends!

The class started with just us mothers and babies and a talk on 'your baby during summer'. I have been to all these classes twice before with Shou and Marina but I had forgotten this - a baby the size of Ryu (about ten kilos) sweats about 500ml of sweat during the summer - every day. An adult weighing 50kg loses 1 kilo every day in sweat and I guess adults of a bit more substance lose more! We then had to guess how many sticks of sugar was in each drink - 100 percent juice, pocari sweat and CC lemon. Pocari had the least but was still 11 sticks of sugar (3g each). It is easy to forget how much sugar is in this shit.

There was then a relax (with your now screaming tired baby) and have a herb tea with the other mothers bit - right at the end. Christ if they wanted to relax us why didn't they provide wine and a super taxi to take us all home?

Still, a nice outing with Ryu. Because Kunimi is so small you tend to meet everyone at these things or at the vaccinations. Forges great sense of community. Rah rah.

Right, it's 6am I should think about breakfast for these kids. Ryu is still asleep but he wont be far away and hopefully hub will be grace us with his presence soon.

Off to do a load of errands today, highly exciting stuff like...

finally taking the fuwafuwa winter blankets to the dry cleaners
finally sending 'electric cigarette' to sister. I have had it a few days but had to get round to writing English instructions for it. She had stopped smoking but god, all the shit going on with her and I just about needed to start smoking too.
buy an electronic photo frame as house warming gift for friends. Hub usually puts money into a collection when one of the lads at the office builds a house but this time they aren't so us, and two other families are putting in the usual 3 or 4,000 yen and buying them a gift instead.
Buy milk, nappies and check loto number - don't think I posted this silly story - on Saturday while hub and I were out we went to fill the car up with gas. Two seconds before the man told us how much it was I said I thought it would be 6,800 yen - it was 6,854 yen. Hub thought Saturday must have been a lucky day for me so we spent three dollars getting a lotto ticket with those four numbers. Silliness.
Meet friend for lunch - this actually qualifies AS exciting stuff. Haven't seen her for a couple of weeks and she teaches English to High School kids, some of whom are complete bastard dickheads and should be sent to juvenile detention.

Then I guess it's home James for afternoon English. Hub mentioned yesterday that today was bonus day so I need to check with him if that means he wants eel for dinner, two hours at pachinko or a session with the horny housewife.

Right, breakfast and stuff.

SDGH&QL

Facebook

2010-06-28T20:33:00.002+09:00

Katy Aramaki thinks her little boy is growing up. He just spent a whole 30 minutes coloring in the same page. This bodes very well indeed for our 24 hours of travel and transit to get home in October.

Katy Aramaki is impressed with herself for finishing her translation a whole half day before is due. One final read an then its getting sent baby sent. Wahooo.

Katy Aramaki is sick of the fuckin rain. Despite doing washing all weekend she still did three loads today, which couldn't all get hung out to dry so had to make trip to coin laundry.

Katy Aramaki feels a bit sorry for Marina. She has two blisters from cheap plastic shoes she wore for ten minutes yesterday, and a scratch on her fanny from falling over a step crab hunting on the way to kindy.

Katy Aramaki thinks hub is a bit of a legend for managing five shag sessions in a week at the age of 45!

Katy Aramaki thinks her previous status is in direct relation to three days of horny housewife membership.

Katy Aramaki is thinking perhaps she shouldn't have canceled that membership.

Katy Aramaki thinks she has fallen off the diet wagon these last three days.

Katy Aramaki thinks she needs a leg up, a mini tramp and a rocket launcher to get back on.

Katy Aramaki had an interesting conversation with the post office man who rang up to enquire what was in the box she sent to Yonezawa this afternoon. She had just written pump on the 'what are you sending' bit and thought the photo of a lady holding a breast pump to her boob extracting milk that was ON THE BOX would have been sufficient as an explanation.

Katy Aramaki's top was all a bit skew wiff (squew wiff ?? - NZ slang for all over the place, out of place, only really used for clothes) when she went to open the door today after her THREE HOUR nap with the baby.

Katy Aramaki thinks the amazon delivery man got a bit more than he bargained for.

Katy Aramaki doesn't rate being woken up at 3am to wipe shit off the back and neck of her one year old. Same one year old stayed awake until 5am, hence the THREE HOUR nap this morning.

Katy Aramaki thinks she spends too much time on FACEBOOK.

SDGH&QL

PS. Katy Aramaki thinks it's been a while since you all saw some pics of her beautiful children...

Ryu in his pit.

Ryu thinks the cat is fuckin hilarious

Saturday's crab haul making a dash for it after the kitten knocked the bucket over. The littlest crab didn't make it - the kitten got to it first. For some reason this was extremely funny at the time. Perhaps blame it on the ASAHI.

The three sprogletts. Shou and Marina in differing stages of the downward dog, or something.

Sunday bloody Sunday

2010-06-27T20:31:00.000+09:00

Sunday bloody Sunday - actually it wasn't bloody by any stretch of the imagination but Sunday's do have their 'special' way of wearing me out.

Hub and Shou were off early for the Union get together in the park in Oita city, two hours away. Was a pre-election thing although a similar thing happens every year. 500 people turned up this year and amongst the proceedings Shou strips off and runs round and round the fountain which is in the middle of the park. I don't really blame him as was stinking hot today. Luckily he had a change of clothes, two in fact - just in case they decided to go crab hunting on the way home.

The idea was that Shou and hub would be out and that Granny K would look after Marina while Ryu slept and I would translate. Granny K was asked by her beloved son whether she could look after her beloved grand-daughter while her beloved daughter in law did a couple of hours work. She came in and upon seeing Marina settled in front of a DVD (for all of five minutes it was) and me typing away she buggers off - and proceeds to go to the veggie patch farthest from the house - without her phone. I know it wasn't intentional but it's a miracle I managed to translate the page that I did.

When she came back we tried to get Marina to play in her room but no go so I gave in to defeat and packed the computer away and Marina and I went to the cleaning place (new in Kunimi from last week) and dried three loads of washing. God I hate the rainy season. Honestly, what is good about it?

washing never getting properly dried? Hanging it out under the deck only to have to spin dry it for an hour at the end of the day?

All the 'things' that like the rain and come out to play?

Hub having to go to the town office every time there is a heavy rain warning - just in case they need to sand bag little old ladies houses in the middle of the night so the water doesn't get in?

the fact that puddles and crabs are two of Marina and Shou's most favoritist things in the whole world? I'm usually OK on most occasions when it comes to puddles, water, mud and crabs but on the way to kindy in the morning it does my head in - the puddles at least. We usually spend about ten minutes looking for crabs between the car and the kindy every morning - when it's not raining, in which case I spend ten minutes trying to bribe them not to run through every puddle they see. But then what three year old doesn't like running through puddles. Their fascination is of course part my fault as when it really rains (or the day after) I will go through the big puddles on purpose - in the car, so that the water sprays up the side of the windows.

Anyway, the day was fine, I got my quote finished, albeit a sentence here and a sentence there. Only one page left to do tomorrow.

Have taken some pics, mainly of Ryu, over the last couple of days but the camera is currently passed out from over usage. Will post tomorrow.

SDGH&QL

Better Day

2010-06-26T23:34:00.000+09:00

OK, so I've had a bit much wine and probably shouldn't be posting but nevermind.

Hub had mountain weedeating duties this morning so I had to take the kids to kindy - is usually hub's weekend job. Marina got out of the car and proceeded to run through EVERY muddy puddle between the car and the kindy - approximately five. Needless to say I had to strip her of her leggings before even had chance to say 'yoroshiku' to the teacher.

Hub was back from weedeating at ten - tis the grass around the lake that feeds water to all our fair rice paddies. Usually 15 people will turn up but this time it seams most people opted to pay the $20 for not turning up.

I got a bit of translating done and then we hit sushi for lunch. A bit of shopping, home and then some more translating while GK looks after Ryu and hub goes to pick up Mayhem 1 and Chaos 2.

They get home and I try my best to ignore sounds - after all, daddy is 'supervising them'. There is a lot of crab hunting going on and they turn back up on the deck covered in mud. Awesome. Straight into the bath.

had some fun stuff, rude obscenities and horny housewives antics to tell you but I am just too worn.

SDGH&QL

Tequila pleeeeeeeeease

2010-06-25T20:42:00.006+09:00

Can someone send me some tequila. I need a couple of shots myself and the rest I plan on pouring over the bitch I have to share my house with and setting her on fire.

Arrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh.

The day didn't start out so bad. In fact it was quite good. The kids went to kindy rather peacefully and then Ryu went down and napped for THREE hours - which meant could get all the house stuff done and half of translation quota for today. I have learnt not to set myself too big a quota if possible as it really stresses me out if I can't get it done and then I have double to do the next day - which usually means one of the kids will decide to vomit all night and need to be taken to the doctors.

Ryu and I and that woman that lives in that heinously messy room off our corridor, went to the supermarket in the next town over after he woke up. I needed to buy baby formula and the likes and it seriously costs 500 yen more to buy it in Kunimi - may as well spend that 500 yen on petrol and go to a better supermarket. Unfortunately driving with Granny K isn't a 'fun' experience. She will never by Thelma to my Louise.

She insists on sitting next to Ryu which is only favorable in that it means she isn't sitting next to me. It's not a five minute drive away. If Ryu is getting sleepy, like he was on the way back, she goes through her entire repertoire of embarrassing vestling make baby laugh shit - and it never works. Why? Cause the baby is tired and he would probably fall asleep if you stopped trying to feed him custard cream bread (yes, I know you think you did it on the sly because I didn't actually turn back but hey - that's what revision mirrors are for) and croaking like a frog to that 'kaeru no uta ga' song. If you are going to croak then do it properly and I'll organize the funeral - quite happily.

Couldn't start being a bitch this early on in the day though as I needed her to look after Ryu for my hour lesson at the school. Ryu ended up sleeping the whole time I was gone and in fact until 4pm. I don't want to say that he has been sleeping soooooo well lately so I wont. I didn't just say that did I? No. Good.

Went to pick the kids up from kindy and told myself that it was Friday and I was going to be super fun mummy - on speed. And I was, for all of about half an hour and then the fact that menace and mayhem continued to run round outside in the rain, without shoes on AND swinging the cat by the tail (or trying to at least) and super fun mummy on speed departs and 'why the fuck wont you listen to me' mummy steps up to bat.

I can't remember what bad mummy tactics I had to enforce to get them inside but inside they came. I think they even ate all their dinner - albeit taking a very long and painful 45 minutes. Ryu got fed at five so he is just getting shittier and shittier. Granny K is never on hand at this time. She does the Ryu out of the bath thing and then buggers off.

Dinner plates cleared away and Shou and Marina have half a Popsicle each in front of the TV - I see my five minute glimmer of opportunity so Ryu and I dash to the bath. Ryu is starkers and so I am. I am just about to close the bathroom door when I hear the two rugrats fighting - quite seriously. I throw on my Hugh Hefner dressing gown and go to referee. Marina has hit her chin and is in tears. Howling. Granny K comes to investigate and I ask if she could please sit with the two of them for five minutes while I wash Ryu. She says nothing to me but just takes Marina by the hand and goes back to her room and locks the door.

THIS IS SO NOT HELPING.

She comes back two minutes later with a whole packet of highchu chewy lollies. Shou of course wants them. I impart onto Granny K that I don't think it right to be giving her a whole lot of lollies at this time of night - especially if she is then going to let her come out and eat them in front of Shou. Granny K said that Marina wanted the whole packet and got all stroppy when Granny K just tried to give her one. That's when I lost it. Marina is two woman. You can't let her boss you around. They need lessons. Lessons that are consistent. Granny K said something along the lines of how the children act like they do because I am always on at them. And so I lost it again.

'I'm sick of people telling me (Granny and Hub) I am crap and need to be all flowers and fuckin sunshine to the kids when I am the one that does the brunt of the looking after (minus of course the teachers at kindy). I try I really. I am all nice and calm but after about ten times I can just feel my self start to overheat, and then it's an inevitable explosion which most of the time is me yelling at them. A smack if it's something dangerous or they push me over the edge. If Ryu happens to be grizzling or I am naked and trying to get him in the bath when above happens then it is usually worse.

I don't need Granny K giving me advice. I don't need the whole 'hub's late and says he is working or doing union stuff but what if the sneaky fucker is actually at pachinko' seed that he has sewn in the back of my head.

I also hate having to try and cover bits of flummy and what not up when trying to sort kids out and Granny K is on the scene.

Stop Press.

Hub has just come home - 8pm - earlier than I thought. He could tell by the steam evaporating off the top of my head that I wasn't shagadellic mummy tonight. He made the mistake of asking why I was so pissed off!!! Has anyone got a husband who, upon seeing that their beloved wife is visibly upset, gives them a hug?

Anyway, this was our conversation...

hub: why are you so pissed off?
GW: The kids. I am really getting to my limit.
hub: what a stupid thing to say. They are your own kids. Shouganai.
GW: That wasn't really what I meant. I meant getting to my limit of doing the evenings almost entirely on my own. Do you know that I had to chase Shou and Marina practically naked (them and me). They went off on a rampage outside. In the rain. With no shoes on. And Marina had no pants on. Shou then tried to swing the cat round his head like a lasso.
hub: You're the one that wanted to keep the cat.
GW: Ummm??
GW: Did you bring any beer home?
Hub: no.
GW: fuck it. Haven't you got esp. Give me your car keys then.
Hub: you going to get some?
GW: No darling, I'm going on a horny housewives shoot, what the fuck do you think I'm doing?
GW: Christ, you smell like a chimney.
Hub: was the bloke beside me at the union thing.

Fuck it, did I mention I need some tequila. Well, now I need two bottles. One for GK and one for Hub. I don't even like to Tequila so the chances are that it WILL all get put to good use as a fire starter. Send me gin and I may just squiff it all back and pass out for a few days.

God, that sounds like a good idea.
Now, just as soon as I finish this translation.

Oh - and in-between about paragraph three and four of this post Shou pissed all over the toilet floor. No attempt whatsoever to lift up the seat. He had wet pants and trousers too so the chances are he just couldn't hold on but he then went and, despite my asking him not to, stand in his own pee and then run down the corridor - laughing like a hysterical hyena. Thank god Ryu didn't wake up.

Hey, on second thoughts, flag the tequila.

I think I just need the gin.

SDGH&QL

Sleepy

2010-06-24T23:30:00.000+09:00

Very sleepy so this wont be long.

Have finished my translation quota for today. First deadline is tomorrow with the whole thing due in on Tuesday.

I guess today was a bit taxing - being Thursday and all. Two English classes plus the kindy one - which I might add didn't involve any 5 year olds boys punching 5 year old girls in the face today. Yay. Both classes were a lot better than last time and I actually felt like some English was flowing. In my Junior High English class I decided to start the English only rule. It went well but I think I came out of it more tired than they did! Have the primary school tomorrow.

Am really juiced. Need to go to bed. Hub 'suggested' I wake him up when I get there but I can't really be arsed to be honest, what with probably being woken at half four tomorrow morning. Sleepy.

SDGH&QL

About Time

2010-06-23T21:03:00.002+09:00

quarter to nine and the last of the sprogletts is finally in peaceful slumber, albeit in our bed but nevermind. I am procrastinating - which yes, means that translation came through. I was asked how much I could get down between this morning and next Tuesday. In my response I calculated in 'this morning' - thinking that 'morning' meant that part of the day that comes before 'afternoon'.

Mornings are my best time. Ryu sleeps for about two hours and seeing as the entire family is up at the crack of bloody dawn I can usually get a good chunk of house stuff done (washing and dishes at least) before walking the kids to kindy at half seven. I was all sorted by half eight this morning. The house was clean and Ryu was asleep and I was twiddling my thumbs. Translation came, with an apology, at eleven forty. Ah, what can you do really.

It is quite interesting, not too long and not too difficult. So I should probably get back to it aye.

Oh, but before I do.

I went into the hills to get that pic but the place was so fallen down that you couldn't even see the sign anymore which was really the whole point. It is a building on the old road between Kunimi and the next town over, just before the old tunnel that looks like scene out of Shawshank Redemption. When I first arrived ten years ago you could still see the old sign and the actual shape of the building. The sign read 'SWEET SHOP'. Naively I thought this was an old shop that made sweets, albeit in a very odd location. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel, it turns out it was a 'Drive in' / love hotel. A local 18 year old girl used to frequent it quite a lot and with different people - one of whom left her up the duff. I would give my right armpit for a name.

I know there was more pressing tidbits from my day to relay to you all but I can't think. I have the kindy English class tomorrow plus two of my own classes. Apparently one of the kids went home after the last class (during which that boy punched the girl in the face) and raved about how much fun English was and now his mum wants to put him (4years old) in my 5 and 6 year olds class - which has been going for two years now with the same kids. I said no but that if the boy could persuade three of his friends to start too then I would consider starting a new class.

SDGH&QL

Shit - forgot to say - the whole family was down at 6am this morning. This is like pure luxury. Shou was awake and in our bed at half four but my superior mothering skills (and supreme bribing skills) got him back to sleep until 6. Wow.

Crawly '#%('&

2010-06-22T22:13:00.000+09:00

OK, so story about place in hills not happening tonight but am heading over that way to meet Chiemi for lunch tomorrow so will take pic then.

This morning was absolutely heinous. I am over Shou waking up at the crack of fuckin dawn. This morning ..... 4am and he was in our bed poking me and trying to get hold of some of my hair with his crane. It wasn't pretty. I was not happy. By half four he was down in Granny K's room and ten minutes later outside playing with the kitten. Can't leave a four year old playing outside on his own so up I get. Marina has been woken up and is down by half five followed by Ryu at 6am and hub at ten past.

Honestly, when my kids are old enough to go out on the lash but happen to be staying at home I am going to repetitively wake them up at 4am. Not that I was on the lash last night but hey, I'm 34. Going to bed at 11pm and going to bed at 3am when you are 19 must have the same effect physically.

All of that aside I still managed to walk the kids to kindy in the double buggy. It was HOT - and still not even 8am. I swear I sweat off half a thigh just in that hour alone. Fantastic.

Ryu and I had a very lazy morning. He slept. I slept. He slept. I cleaned. He slept. I watched Numbers. Went to supermarket when he woke up and got fondled (him not me) by everyone we met. Got home and had lunch and then had feeling I was forgetting something.

Check latest postcard from Social Welfare and sure enough we are meant to be at the centre by 1:50. I am checking this at 1:40 mind you. Fuck. Change the baby, get the bag sorted and off we go - rocking up at 1:49. Ahhh, the joys of rural life. Getting to your destination in 9 minutes! That said though, it takes me an hour to get to maccas and other important places like the kids doctor.

Ryu gets weighed, measured (smack bang in the middle of average) and then checked by the doctor. The doctor remembers me and comments on my superior baby making skills and being back to see him for the third time in four years. He also comments on amazing performance of All Whites in the World Cup Soccer. Ryu gets the all clear. Good skin, heartbeat, balls, superchinchin etc.

We then have our turn with the 'all round lady' who asks about Ryu's motor skills. Seems a bit concerned he isn't standing up yet - especially as two of the 10 month old babies are cartwheeling across the room. He can stand if you put him in front of something to hold on to. He isn't too fussed about trying it out on his own yet though. But hey, if the woman had a two and three year old at home she wouldn't be 'encouraging' this kind of malarky either.

Move on to the other 'all round lady' who gets a bit more personal. How old is everyone, how much does Granny K help out, am I planning on flipping out anytime soon, do I have close friends I can bitch to and is there anything I'm having trouble with. I laugh and say no, not really, just wish hub got home earlier in the evenings. When I get to the next lady - the lady giving advice on teeth brushing, she mentions that the last lady wrote the hub and earlier home thing down - in ink for the rest of time. Hub probably got a postit on his desk this afternoon.

I got a small telling off for not having started a rigorous brushing regime with Ryu - who has five teeth. He isn't eating anything noticeably sweet but still. I should be brushing. Got a free toothbrush in fact. And some brushing chewing gum - actually Ryu got that?? Got this with Marina and Shou as well. Why? They don't say it is for the mother so why give chewing gum to a one year old? Hmmmm. The jury is out - and most probably bashing their heads against a concrete wall somewhere.

By the last lady, the nutritionist, Ryu is past it. It is sooooooooooooo nap time. He has been super friendly up until now but now he just wants out. So do I. The nutritionist is about 19 and probably never had to resort to 'horny housewives' as a pick me up for dealing with being a SAHM for the 4th year running. Seriously, she seemed oblivious to the fact that Ryu was doing the big back arch and rubbing his ears. She was about as fast paced as a sloth in a wheelchair. I am amazed at Ryu for actually eating the pumpkin and whitebait baby fritter and tasteless boiled fish that was given to him for afternoon tea. He scoffed it back. I scoffed at her, and off we went home.

Ryu went down for his nap and I had to sort dinner, bath, washing and vacuuming out before English class at half four. Yakisoba for dinner - quick and easy. All the kids had it with a vegemite sammy and some watermelon.

When I went to pick Shou and Marina up from kindy Shou was in the process of looking for 'hasami mushi'. Have no idea what they are in English and even in fact if that is their real Japanese name. They are ugly fuckers though. Unbeknownst to me he put one in his gumboot. Got in the car and I figure it out and tell him that thing is NOT riding home with us. He lets it out and then as soon as I start backing out of the carpark starts a nuttout of huge proportions. He wants me to turn round RIGHT NOW to go back for the insect. So not happening. His nuttout lasts for twenty minutes. I (quite surprisingly) don't join him and am quite calm.

No son, I'm not turning back to go pick up a crawly insect with biters.
No son, I'm not ringing up the teacher to go back to go pick up a crawly insect with biters.
No son, there aren't any lollies in the car.
No son, we can't all sit in the car and have dinner.
Sorry son, but mummy is not getting locked out of her own house.
Sorry son, but mummy refuses to sleep out in the adventure playground.
Sorry son, but mummy isn't going to make a special trip to the shops for lollies.

Granny K tried to tell me it was my fault. And I really couldn't be assed relaying the whole crawly insect with biters in the gumboot story so I just thanked her for looking after Ryu for twenty minutes and went about my business.

Ryu has finished dinner and Shou and Marina are about half way through when Hub walks in?? Me thinks he has post-pachinko guilts. He circled today as a late day. Last night was a late night too and he was home at 8 - which isn't 'late'. He has union stuff tomorrow and Friday and will be home early on Thursday because I have English. He has to go weedeating with the local vestlings on Saturday morning and on Sunday he has a Union thing in the city - which hopefully he will take Shou to. He is busy really. I know this. But the occasional (he reckons once a fortnight so probably more like once a week) pachinko outing and the LIEING that accompanies it really fucks me off.

Nevermind. Might just put some more bling on his card in October when we go home...

SDGH&QL

What a Bonus

2010-06-21T22:25:00.001+09:00

Remember around the time I found out about mum and the cancer I was doing a lot of translation work? Well I logged into the online site for that company and went to my 'invoice' page. Turns out I had forgotten to tick two of the jobs I did and they have been sitting there this whole time unpaid. They weren't huge jobs. Only turns out as 40,000 but that is still about $600. $600 that feels like I am getting for free so much time has elapsed since I actually did the work. Awesome. What a pleasant surprise!

It was also pay day today AND it is bonus pay day at the end of the month. Half is going on the new computer and the other probably going into stock up the secret pachinko slush fund! Not really - nearly every cent is accounted for this time leaving about zilch to be played with. Can't remember the last time we had a bonus day to look forward to. Not complaining though. At least bonus days help stop us from drowning quite so much.

Took the kitten to the doctors this morning. An hour each way for a five minute consultation during which the doc declared MEOW healthy bar a few flees which he took care of by giving her some proper flee stuff - as opposed to the cheap shite we got at the home center on Saturday. Am going back next week for a jab of some kind.

She wasn't that impressed with the car and her temporary housing - a 12 bottle Asahi beer box. I put an old towel in the bottom and when I opened it for her she jumped straight in. Easy. I shut the lid and put her in the boot. I look back three minutes later, after a lot of meowing and carrying on, and see her up on the back of the seat about 6cm away from Ryu's head. She gets re-boxed but this time she gets moved to the front seat where I can put my heavy handbag on the top and keep an eye on her.

Cost $40 for her first checkup and the flee stuff. Haven't been to a doctors and had to pay that much for a long time. The kids are free and the dentist is only $8 per kiddy visit. The cat will probably end up being more expensive!

We had a quiet afternoon and the kids were relatively good for the dinner thing. Hub was home in time to 'help' with Shou going to bed but really it was just a lot of faffing around and 'you'd rather sleep with mum wouldn't you?' kind of shit so in the end I was queen of putting all the kids to bed - again. Honestly man. If you're going to get home at 8pm - a time when am just in the process of getting Shou up to bed - then try and be a bit more enthusiastic about helping the cause.

I was very good with the kids this evening and I don't even think I screamed once! While they were inside having dinner - after me having to count to five (which is proving to be extremely effective) to get him in from outside - Shou said, in a voice exactly like the one I use, 'Mum, I wish you'd listen to Shou more. I told you I wanted to eat tea outside tonight'. I had to stifle a giggle. My little boy is growing up so fast!

Well, an extremely boring post tonight. No obscenities of any kind. Apologies. Granny K was fine, the kids were good, Ryu was adorable, the kitten thing was relatively painless and hub wasn't caught at pachinko!

Peace with the world.

Oh, I did spend a while on the putter trying to sort out accommodation for trip home. Two weeks in hotels is expensive going. I having been emailing places trying to find out about fenced play areas and highchair and cot availability!!

Right, cup of cha and final episode of 'Numbers' before I have to beg for more DVDs off Chiemi. I remembered a story the lady at the place we went out for dinner and drinks to on Saturday night told us. Really need to go into the hills and take a photo of the place in question though so will do that tomorrow.

Night night campers.

SDGH&QL

Cheese has gone

2010-06-20T21:08:00.001+09:00

Cheese has gone and now the poor cat is being called 'meow'. Not that you really need to call it as such as it is there 24/7 just waiting for attention - which for a lot of today was in the form of Shou and his toy crane.

I have a not quite blister from sawing wood and screwing in 30 screws for the...

Why does the cat look wet? Because hub and I had harped on so much to Shou and Marina about not picking it up too much cause it probably had flees and perhaps worms. They thought that it needed a shower. Enter the garden hose. Didn't get too wet thank god! Probably thanks to Shou's crap aim - a result of which has had me wiping the toilet floor all day.

Granny K's not too excited about the fact that we haven't taken the cat to the mountains yet. She's not too keen on the black cat thing. Me? I love it. She (pretty sure it's a she and if it is a he then I feel sorry for him cause he is hung like an invisible stallion) is just so pretty. That said though, Granny spent a good ten minutes talking to 'Meow' when she was trying to climb up her fly screen yesterday. Christ, that sounds a bit rude - not quite sure what on earth fly screen could be code name for but I meant the fly screen door.

Shou was very cute - decided the cat needed a blanket for nap time - and it was fuckin hot today...

Wee thing - asleep in the planter, let Shou 'put it to bed' and stayed asleep for about thirty minutes.

And besides playing with the cat - hub and I had a bit of a barney. Marina has a slight case of the runs. I made curry for tea - the Japanese kind - and got an earful from hub about how I should have made her okayu (sloppy rice). I said I didn't think that was necessary and that if he wanted to he could. Go ahead. He went off on a rant about how I should listen to him more and that no wonder the kids don't listen. I am fuckin sick and tired of being blamed for two and four year old misbehaving. What happens in a few years when the kids are functioning properly? All of a sudden are they his kids?

'Fortunately' (??) the kids are both going through a lying stage so I can say 'oh, well they got the (pachinko) lying from you darling!

Three minutes later he gave Marina, who hadn't eaten any of her dinner, a yoghurt?? I am behind the eight ball on this one obviously. The girl has the shits. I shouldn't be feeding her curry. But yoghurt is OK? Yoghurt is all Granny K and hub harp on about if either of the kids have reverse bowel movement problems.

The 'exchange of words' ended in hub saying I should just pack up and leave if I hated it that much - this response drives me fuckin insane it does. I did not say that I hated it so much I wanted to leave. And hub telling me to leave 'his' house infuriates me to no end. These arguments are muttered words - so that the kids don't hear a full out screaming match.

Hub has just suggested a blow job to 'make up'.

ROTFL

Honestly. He wants to kick me out and then expects me to get on my knees? Silly, silly, man.

He should have learnt by now that it takes ten bunches of flowers, a lot of wining and dining, coming home by half six every night for four weeks AND some kisses and cuddles for me to warrant the BJ thing.

A shag is still in play though.

Maybe I should become a 'horny housewife' first....

seriously, the best way to 'make up'. I think I only have an hour left on my three day trial membership though!

Off I am then

SDGH&QL

Cheese

2010-06-20T09:20:00.001+09:00

Started the day very early - half bloody four with Marina waking up saying she needed to go toilet. It's her latest thing. Saying she needs to go and then when you get into her room she's all 'hi mummy, let's get up and play'. This was followed shortly after by Shou actually going to the toilet - half in his bed but at least he made it to the loo for the main event. Sheets in the washing machine now.

We all got up and left daddy sleeping till seven - tis father's day after all!

Shou, Marina and Ryu all then proceeded to slam/jam fingers in a car door, sliding door and baking tray drawer respectively. Tears all round. They have otherwise been occupied with...

Meet 'Cheese' - and um, guess the crabs can be Champers, Chips and Chuhai. Probably not much point getting too attached to them as will be released into natural habitat later this arvo when Shou isn't looking.

Cheese is quite lucky really. If Shou had had his way it would be called 'Dora Neko' or 'Shou no Neko'. Cheese is Marina's name. I am a bit suspicious as I had just taken a photo of her and daddy....

... and said 'hai cheese' to get them to pose. Hmmmmm. He (she?? haven't checked) arrived on our birthday. I saw the mother early morning but then it disappeared and never came back. We have had a number of stray cats turn up - and cats being born in the wood shed. We have tried to get rid of them - or rather, not encouraged them to stay. Most of them left and two have died :(

I reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllly want a dog but have given in to fact that can't raise one until the kids are big enough to help with walks and things. A cat is different though. I'm not prepared to have one in the house getting toilet trained while I have a crawling baby around though. So 'Cheese' will be an outside cat which is not ideal but we'll see how it goes. At the moment he eats on the deck and plays there most of the time. Just need to check into shots and things like that. I am surprised hub is being so positive and good about this. We are even going to make a cat stair thing up one of the beams on the deck. He has been climbing up the fly screen and getting into the deck rafters (??) and not being able to get down.

Anyhoo, enough about cats.

Yesterday hub and I did the sushi thing and we had massive talk in the car. Broached the pachinko thing and I don't know really if anything get resolved but better talking about it than not. We spoke about mum and the rest of my currently dysfunctional family. Over the past three days I have spoken to all of them and have had everyone's problems off loaded onto me - the only person still really talking to everyone else. I don't mind listening to people's problems. In fact I find it somewhat therapeutic in helping me realize that sometimes my own problems are just so petty. I do tend to keep things on board for too long when really I should just listen, make sympathetic noises, offer an opinion here and there and then try and let it go. But it's family so this is very hard to do. Hub thinks I need to try harder and not get down about other people's problems. Bloody man.

I had a huge meltdown on the phone to mum yesterday. Culmination of things. Anyway, things sorted-ish and hopefully the family will all be talking by October!!

Dinner out last night was good - the place was a bit of a let down. One long counter, Karaoke, some food and drinks. No tables, which meant the 'mama' owner lady was part of EVERY conversation we had - and considering she knows everyone in Kunimi having her listening and joining in meant we were very limited to topics of conversation.

We won't be going there again.

I biked there and back and quite amazingly didn't fall into a rice paddy on way home...

That would be a light from our house, the light outside and the one over by the community centre across the road. There are no guard rails on the side of the road and four beers meant I got precariously close to spending the night with the bullfrogs. A river runs all along the right side and rice paddies on the left. Made it home safe and sound though.

Right, off to the shops to get brackets to put up the cat stairs.

SDGH&QL

Skankyness and Fish 'n Chips

2010-06-18T23:09:00.000+09:00

So I got a reply back from the Kiwi mummy blogs and I am going to get a quick link on their sidebar but not being added to their blog roll. I have just checked and the link isn't up there yet. I debated about whether or not to write this post but for the sake of all you lot, who live vicariously through gaijinwife, I decided just to post what I was going to and never mind that link on the mummy blogs that will no doubt be taken off due to my offensive references to porn.

I don't plan on making porn a common reference but I felt that I needed to share this episode as I was so shocked with self.

So last night the bubbles that hub bought home for my birthday were pink bubbles - rose of some kind. Not my bubble of choice but not one to look a gift horse in the mouth I quite willingly partook in helping to empty the bottle. He also brought two beers so again, quite willingly, I knock one of those back.

Now, usually half a bottle of bubbles and one beer is not enough to phase me. It's definitely not in the ballpark of making me act all silly, ride the stallion, and wake up with a sore head. There just MUST have been something in the combination of rose bubbles and asahi. Well that's my excuse.

So anyway, hub heads up to bed and I am here finishing my beer and surfing the net. As you do when you have a lovely computer that actually opens pages for you in less than 24 hours. I do not recall how I came across the site - I was obviously doing a bit of looking but not sure how I linked to it or if I google searched.

I somehow end up watching short porn flick of two supposed housewives getting it on with an electrician or similar. Now I'm not a huge porn person. Neither is hub. He'll quite happily flick through the bra and panty section of the Victoria Secret catalogue and we even watched a vid at home once but other than that.

Well, having fueled the fantasy bank I head upstairs and 'ride hub like a stallion' - to use my own wording there. It was by far the most raunchiest international relations meeting of recent times. Hub was quite overcome. I can tell you that if he thinks he's getting that every night there will be NO pachinko visiting. Might be an effective course of action.

This morning I wake up, sore head and all, at FOUR THIRTY thanks to Marina and Shou. It takes a good hour to remember the goings on of last night but when I do I get this feeling of dread.

After the kids are safely at kindy and Ryu is asleep I check my online banking and whadda ya know - I now have a years membership to 'Horny Housewives'! Fuck me sideways. Or hub. Or the electrician. Shit, but not our one cause he is a complete retard.

Feeling like a skanky slutty slapper I go to the site to try and cancel my membership. Find out there is a three day trial for x amount of dollars and if I don't cancel within that time it is then 39.95 US$ a month. Cancel membership. Got it for two more days though....

Neeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiggggghhhhh

That was hub by the way - trying to neigh (??) like a stallion.

So other than feeling like a skanky hoe today...

Ryu and I took it very easy. Very quiet morning. I spoke to my sister for a while and then my brother.

Face value this is what my family is at present...

Father - retired doctor with anger management issues and affiliation to pot (the substance not the thing you cook stuff in)
Mother - can't mention her cause she has brain tumor and that wasn't self inflicted.
Daughter 1 - financial crisis that revolves around owing parents xxx thousand dollars.
Daughter 2 - recovering alcoholic
Daughter 3 - married to Japanese man with a secret gambling problem (although not so secret as the stupid fucker keeps getting caught)
Son 1 - approaching 30 and living back at home with financial issues

Of course there is shitloads of stuff going on in each situation. My sister isn't talking to the other sister, who isn't really talking to my brother, who is maybe siding with my father, who is not talking to daughter number 1 and vice versa.

Wahoo. Trip home in October is going to be AWESOME.

I spoke to my dad too today. Mum, who had her last radio treatment today, was sleeping. Dad sounded shattered. I really feel for him. He is dealing with all this stuff with mum and then has all this other shit going on with his kids. Sigh. Hang in there dad. We'll all grow up soon enough.

Anyway, I will probably talk to my other sister tomorrow and hopefully mum if she's feeling up to it.

And tomorrow night - I'm out with Chiemi. Local place that used to be a really cool izakaya/restaurant before it turned into a cafe lounge (spelt launge). Haven't been since it revamped but apparently they do food too so we are going there for nama beer, a cocktail or two, and some fried chicken and the likes. Am well excited about this. The place is like 1km from our house and I am biking there but seriously... I get out of the house with no children so who cares where.

And finally some pics.... not very good ones but never mind...

Shou came home from kindy with this - a cookie for father's day on Sunday. This is hub. By the time hub actually got home his face was cracked in two and Shou had eaten one ear.

Finally got around to fish and chipping the shark that Heather sent down. Well the fish at least!! the chips are kumura (sweet potato) chips. THANKYOU Heather. Yum yum yum.

Yuuuuuuuuuum, this tissue looks tasty!!

OK, so perhaps that wasn't a very good idea.

Fuzzy but you get the idea.

Right, I better hit the hay. I just put in an email in for a translation job. 21 minutes after the email was sent to me and the job had been taken already. Bugger. Nevermind though. Should be some similar ones coming up soon.

Oh, and did you see my new widget on the right sidebar down the bottom. You choose an artist and can hear a couple of their songs for free!! Great. You have to keep the window open though.

Nighty night campers.

SDGH&QL

Peek-a-boo

2010-06-17T22:47:00.000+09:00

Happy bubbly birthday to me!

Now that I've posted the warm fuzzies birthday post I can post the real deal. How my day has been...

I woke up - still a bit pissed (angry pissed) from the whole go go gadget slap husband for lying about pachinko thing. I didn't actually slap him - I felt like it I admit but I didn't say anything to him.

By lunch time I still have yet to hear from anyone in my immediate family by way of birthday greetings for either self or Shou. I mean NZ family. Hub and the kids said happy birthday this morning and I think Granny K might have even managed a mumble - although this is the first year I haven't been given a prezzie or card from her. Guess everyone has their limits aye.

Currently THE ONLY birthday cards for Ryu, Shou and I are from the European Stylist AND her mother (who I have never met but know is an absolutely fabulous woman who continues to send me cards and gifts for my children AND Easter eggs. Seriously. The woman makes my day about ten days a year), and my good friend in NZ. It's hard I know. We all have children now and our own lives. I am also shit at remembering birthdays and things. Family I do - well, brothers, sisters and parents anyway. Nieces and friend's children gets a bit harder and they all start blending into one big bloody birthday and when am I meant to send what to who?

Coming from me, who only hours ago wrote that birthdays should be about the mother and not you. Well, I tried ringing mine four times today. I even tried dad. I tried my sister a few times and my brother at home. I got no-one and started panicking that something was wrong so I phoned my bros mobile - and disturbed him while out drinking with the lads at the cosy club. Everything is fine. Well, as fine as can be when your head is being zapped, you have lost most your hair and you feel sick as a dog. Mum goes home tomorrow. They can't wait.

So come lunch time I've done a bit of housework - nothing too arduous as is birthday after all. Feeling a bit like a Nigel no mates I check facebook and there you all are. A barrage of birthday messages. Thank you so much. What nice readers you are. Minus my blog and facebook today I think I would have been feeling very sorry for myself. I didn't comment back on all of them but please know every one was read and appreciated.

I had a few messages and phone calls late afternoon - my sister and then my other sister while I was in the bath so had to say no to that. There is so much going on with every single member of the family at the moment. Even with the pachinko bullshit I am still probably the one with the least 'worries' and 'life changing decisions' to make. Obviously if the dickhead keeps going and we don't sort this out I will have 'life changing decisions' to make, but for the time being....

I finish my English class at half five to see that my car has gone - hub has arrived home early and gone to pick up the kids. He comes home with flowers, a letter on that fancy paper, and a bottle of bubbles...

Lovely they are.

Shou also made me a card at kindy which was lovely - until Marina ripped it in half and I had to get the sellotape to it.

Ryu was pretty lovely all day too. He is into peek-a-boo (inai nai baaaaaaa) at the moment...

And me thinks some more teeth might be coming through - what with the teeth marks on the kotatsu table and all!!!

If you look closely you will notice that this onesie has been unstitched at the feet. The feet now come half way up his calfs but the rest of it fits perfect. He has thrashed these (he has three).

And I think that sums up my day. Hub is asleep on the floor after half a bottle of bubbles - with ice.

ten minutes later - he is now off up to bed. He made some mention of money earlier in the evening and I asked after the stash in his car. He looked surprised. I shoed him the pic of his car in the pachinko carpark. I love him I do. I thanked him for the wine and the flowers and the lovely letter (TWO PAGES of NICENESS - including one sentence about how he was sorry he had to work late so much - which made me want to burn it)

I told him the pachinko thing - he can go. That's not the problem. It's the lies and the debt that I don't know about that fucks me off. I said we need to sort something out. He grunted and went off up stairs to bed - not sure which. Shou is asleep in ours so unless he moves the lad there will be no birthday action happening this evening.

Anyway, thanks for reading to the end of my birthday rant.

Oh, and we did have cake kind of. I bought five small chocolate log things. Granny K gave me stick about my mothering skills this afternoon so I promptly ate her bit. Bugger if I'm inviting that woman in for cake this evening. Ryu did eat about half of it though. Lucky he's a bloke cause he will definitely have trouble with the diet thing me thinks.

And seriously now.

Away I go.

Nighty night.

SDGH&QL

PS - I applied (??) to be listed on a list of Kiwi Mum Blogs. I got an email back saying my blog was the most foulest blog out of their 150 listings and that they weren't sure I was entirely appropriate. Didn't actually say that. Said 'why the swearing and anger' kind of thing.

I realize I aren't everybody's cup of tea. Bloody hell. I'm not even my own cup of cha half the time.

But can I ask you lovely lot.

Would you still come and read about life de gaijinwife if there were no obscenities, blasphemies or bitchiness of any kind??

That said, there is no way I could write a wholesome post - although my birthday one about mum today had hardly any bad words in it... !!!!

Birthday's and Thankyou's

2010-06-17T09:33:00.008+09:00

The older I get, and the more children I have, I think more and more that birthdays shouldn't be about you but about that fabulous woman who had you. Sure, as a baby, the journey down the birth canal and squeezing out the saloon doors must have been hard going but at least we forget it. Mother's don't. The memory of the pain of child birth decreases but you don't forget that moment straight after. That mixture of shear relief that it's over, joy, apprehension, worry, excitement and LOVE.

So to my fabulous mum thank you! I think today is the day you have double radiation treatment to make up for the day you missed due to Queen's Birthday weekend. Tomorrow is the last of it and then you have a whole month off mum. I love you mum. You have always been there. My constant. The thought of a world without this is scary. Mum's make everything better. What do we do to make things better when our mum is gone?

You with long beautiful hair. And me?? I look a bit out of sorts - perhaps like someone has just kidnapped me from my parents in Scandinavia. Meaning that white blond hair of course - what there is of it anyway.

And now onto you Shou, because at 4 you aren't quite old enough to have this profound wisdom that you should be thanking me on your birthday. And also because it is nearly 10am - you were born at 9:58. Time to reflect on the last four years my son.

A bit too much for a public blog but never mind. This is you at 30 weeks darling. What with you being the first child and all I thought I was ready to pop already. And then...

Actually, comparing these pics they don't look that bloody different. You were born, ten days early and on my birthday, about a week after this pic was taken. And yes I wore those preggy pants and that bra just about every second day for six months. I'm pretty certain I wore something over the top of it most days though.

You were so damn adorable. You were perfect. Just perfect. I didn't know what the shit I was doing half the time but Granny K gave me lots of advice (insert what every you fancy).

I'm sure I spent time ranting and bitching about life back then - when I only had one child. God, if you'd told me then that in four years I would have a two and a half year old and one year old as well I would have perhaps tied the saloon doors shut. Instead they appear to have fallen completely off their hinges and you are now a big brother, twice over.

Granny A came over to see you when you were three months old. As far as I can recall you didn't do a big crap straight after this so me thinks this is a genuine smile my boy. (what is it with black and white stripes and this family)

You grew up so fast. I know you're still only 4 but by crickey where has the time gone? Judging by the size of you in this pic and the fact that I don't think I would be sliding down a roller slide either 9 months pregnant or having just given birth, your sister must have arrived and be a good few months old already.

You started getting a bit of a cheeky attitude. Don't worry son. When you're older and can handle the language I'm sure I'll be recalling your early years as living with the spawn of the devil. I'll obviously have to find some other photos to prove it though as you look far too cute in this one.

I think we do OK most of the time - you and me. It's hard sometimes though. Two Gemini's, both B (it's all about ME) blood type and we clash a lot too. Can you hang off on the calling mummy a 'baka'. I work a lot better when I'm not being called a dickhead all day.

You're at that age now where you want to just do everything, see everything, try everything on your own - unless of course it's the important shit like changing, eating and brushing your teeth. I am getting better at letting you help and showing you how things work when you ask. You can even work the blender on your own. You've only forgotten the lid once. You are becoming more and more like an older brother each day. I do feel a bit sorry for you. You had to take on the role early and mum does expect a bit too much from you sometimes.

Right son, it's half nine. This time four years ago I was shouting blue murder at the poor nurses and you were pushing that big head down and out those doors - Christ, I can almost feel the pain. Another 28 minutes and then I can breathe properly again.

SDGH&QL

Stupid Stupid Fucker

2010-06-16T22:41:00.000+09:00

I type this as the stupid stupid fucker sits 1mt away from me.

I haven't been on a 'covert pachinko operation' for a while. It's a pain in the ass really seeing as it involves getting Ryu to bed and pilling Shou and Marina in the car and asking Granny K to keep an ear out for Ryu (who very rarely wakes up during that time) while I take the other two for whatever important bit of shopping I just have to do in the next town over.

Tonight it was printer ink.

Which I might add the bloody next town over doesn't stock in the one shop open past 7pm.

I don't know what made me choose today really. Perhaps a bit form the conversation yesterday got me thinking that perhaps just maybe hub is at it again - or never stopped. Honestly, a look, a single comment and the clogs start a turning. Or it could have been the full page add in today's morning paper about the pachinko parlor (in the next town over) having a special, if your a lucky bastard you'll have silver balls flooding your ankles, on Wednesday's that got me thinking...

So, come 5pm I have decided that is the plan of action but surely the fool wouldn't be after the fuckin HARD HOURS of overtime he has been doing lately. Or perhaps that is exactly it. Perhaps he is actually doing overtime sometime and then needing an outlet and going to pachinko on THE ONE DAY IN TWO MONTHS I go to check up.

Yeah, I know. As far as I know I wasn't blond this morning when I woke up either.

Ryu goes to sleep and I pile the other two in the car. We set off. There is a false poo stop for Shou and a bit of grizzling but not too bad as i actually do have to get milk formula and toothpaste. Yes, I could technically do this shit tomorrow but it's my birthday and I would like to do as little as possible please.

So I swing by the carpark at the pachinko parlor - after swinging past the carpark in the supermarket next door (cause that's where I would park if I was a lying pachinko bitch). Once round the carpark and I actually start telling myself off for doubting the man.

On the way out and I notice a similar car in the very front carpark - so close to the front doors of the parlor it almost serves as a kick in the face. I must admit it was a very hard to see the numberplate so perhaps the fucker has actually started thinking. A taxi pulled up and someone walked out just as I wanted to capture the moment in history so I chickened out. But then I did a U-turn down the street and took the pic - not great cause is on my phone and I was moving but I think with a bit of CSI work you could well read the numberplate.

Besides I just found 5000 yen in his sunvisor thing in his car - yes. the EXACT same place he hid it last time I found it.

He also had a package from the bookstore in his car - with some nice floral writing paper in it.

By christ I better get a birthday letter on that paper tomorrow or the man will find himself face down in the river 10 meters from the front door.

And no, I haven't said anything to the man about me knowing. He is doing a lot of deep sighing though so perhaps Granny K phoned him and told him I was out with the kids on a night shopping extravaganza - which usually equals pachinko check.

Sick of this shit aye. Tis partly my fault - considering I aren't going to leave the fucker to be a single mother of three small children I SHOULD STOP CHECKING UP on him. I know this. I do. Really. But I can't help myself.

Anyhoo, I made this year's umeshu (plum liquor) tonight and in doing so realized that last year's is still quite plentiful.

Might go deplete the bottle a bit.

Hell, I'm in need.

SDGH&QL

Overtimes a Bitch.

2010-06-16T08:59:00.001+09:00

I didn't post yesterday - I think it's been a while since I missed a day. Apologies to those of you who stop by expecting another daily dose of gaijiwife dramas, obscenities and the boring day-to-day shite that goes hand in hand with small children, vesting inlaws and husbands that work late EVERY FUCKIN NIGHT.

Am really over this shit. I just about cried when I found out he hadn't been moved out of the tax office. 8 years in the same office is very rare and this better be his last year or heads will roll come next April. I want compensation in the form of him being moved to the social welfare or education departments. Still some overtime but seriously in Japan even the tea lady does overtime. The tax department is just taking the piss.

On Monday night hub got home late. Last week I asked him to please circle every day on the calendar that he expected to be late. He has amazing foresight for a man. He can predict that he will be late every day until August. He hadn't circled Monday though so come Monday I am expecting him home at least in time to help get Shou to bed. Didn't happen though and so yesterday I ask if he will be home early tonight seeing as he was late last night. The bloody man bit my head off.

Hub: Christ woman, of course not. Look. See. Tuesday is circled on the calendar.
GW: I noticed, I just thought perhaps yesterday's overtime was instead of today's.
Hub: (looking very confused - as if trying to do a sadoku that has no starting numbers)
GW: Well see, Moooooooooonday. No circle but you worked late. Tuuuuuuuuuesday. Circle.
Hub: I only circled the days I have Union Meetings.
GW: So? Every day that you haven't circled?
Hub: I'll be late probably, except Thursday's when I come home early because I have to.
GW: Because I work darling... How long is this shit going to last?
Hub: Until August.
GW: In April you said June, in May you said July and now it's August?

There was then a few words exchanged about pachinko which fucked him off but I told him to pull his head in cause it was his fault I got all worked up and pissed off, while doing the kid thing on my own again, thinking that he could be at pachinko, and if not then he is at his desk at work with a coffee and perhaps the banter of the other ADULTS staying late. Wow! Adult conversation between the hours of five and eight is something I have given up on.

I do feel sorry for the man - putting up with my shit but honestly? He thinks he is sooooo hard done by having to work late. Men out there - working is hard, it takes concentration, uses up some of those man cells. Most of us women have been there and done that. We know what working late means, the stress and all. Most of you however do not know what it is like dealing with small children NIGHT AFTER NIGHT after bloody night. I am sick of being called a dickhead and told to shut up by my three year old. I am sick of my two year old trying to coax her three year old brother to jump on the sofa, the chairs, the table, the bed, and my flummy. I am sick of the one year old grizzling and packing a sad because the fact that I only have two hands and two legs means it is logistically impossible to feed and help feed three children at EXACTLY the same time.

Sigh, just one of those days I guess aye.

So, packed with angst from a husband that is going to be working late until August I got on line and booked all our tickets home - TWO WEEKS. I then texted hub to say that tickets were booked and his maximum of ten days off work has turned into 15 days. Suck it up man. Tis my payback for having to suck up the overtime.

Korean air - 500,000 yen for five of us with the kids being 75% and Ryu 10% of the adult tickets. 18 hours to get to NZ and 27 hours to get back. Three nights in Auckland before flying direct to Dunedin which is at the other end of the country and takes longer than flying to Korea from Japan. Those domestic tickets - $100 each and Ryu is free of course. Crazy cheap.

We arrive in Dunedin at 9am. My sister, her hub and three kids and my brother arrive at half nine and at 10 we pick up the mini van to fit

five adults
three nearly teenage girls
two small people
one baby
two carseats and a booster seat
one pushchair
five suitcases
kitchen sink
case of vino
barrel of gin

I am in the process of getting the van sorted but once that is sorted the only thing left to organize is the motel in Auckland and Napier for our week there after the big family reunion.

Shit. I guess it's actually quite a blessing hub has all this overtime.

We'll need it.

I've just put the whole trip on his credit card

SDGH&QL

GLEE

2010-06-14T21:29:00.001+09:00

This will be short. I am posting from bed - the first time EVER in the history of my owning a computer. A lovely parcel from NZ arrived this morning - with GLEE DVD for me and of course I couldn't wait until my actual birthday to open it so have had to watch the pilot already and perhaps a couple of pre-bedtime episodes. It must appeal to a lot of people - that wanting to be good at something, especially singing. So many of us out there who think we can sing and that the only reason we haven't gone platinum is because we keep forgetting agents don't come to the shower - or the car. Those are my favorite singing places. Those and all over the house in general when I am cleaning or cooking.

Took the kids to kindy this morning and the head of the pre-school was waiting for me. She explained that she did not in fact witness the punch scene - but she did see the tussle before hand and the girl crying and just presumed it was because she got the card taken off her. The girl's mum rung her up though and all was revealed. She asked if from next lesson we could not sit in a circle. I'm a fan of circle sitting. Beats rows anyway. She suggested that a circle puts the kids in very close proximity to each other and is hard for them to concentrate without the pushing and shoving. So next time they will stay at their tables and we can use the big room next door to run around mooing like cows and roaring like lions. All good.

I had an absolute disgusting weekend food wise. All yummy deep fried, chocolatey and alcoholic goodness mind you. Have big reservations for the scales being nice to me this weigh day though.

Am having big dilemmas about tickets home.

JETSTAR - really only a good deal if you already live in Tokyo or Kansai and don't have to add domestic tickets. This option will only cost us slightly less than KoreanAir and that leaves straight from Fukuoka - and we get fed.

KOREAN AIR - 480,000 yen for five of us return. Five hour wait in Seoul on the way and a night (free) on the way back. I thought I had enough airpoints for one ticket but nope - this trip's mileage would give me and Ryu a free trip home next time though. Need to hook us all up on the family plan.

AIR NZ - 560,000 yen by the time we add domestics. It is direct but I am having trouble finding the same domestic flight I got last time - that got me there almost exactly two hours before the flight. Can't find any JAL or ANA flights now that would get us there in time. None in September anyway. They don't even have their October schedule out yet.

THAI - what NO 1 Travel came up with - same price as Korean air and I wouldn't choose them over Korean air because the flight distance is longer, I have never been to the bangkok international airport and I'm just chicken shit cause it's a new route.

Decisions, decisions. Probably Korean Air - at least they have that space half way down the plane near the toilets where you can stand and rock a grizzly child - unlike Air NZ which was very narrow.

Ooooh, can hear hub home.

Should go and welcome home and heat up his dinner.

SDGH&QL

PS - I am joking.

He's an hour later than he said he would be. His dinner is waiting cold on the table and I'm sure he can figure out how to use the microwave on his own.

Birthday Proceedings.

2010-06-13T21:14:00.000+09:00

Thanks Rainy Season. You hold off all bloody week and even yesterday, when it was predicted you would arrive, only to arrive this morning - not this afternoon when you fucked off. This morning. And only this morning. I cut the grass. I raked the lawn and still you came. Thanks to you we had twelve children and six adults inside, including 10 small people on speed, or P, or anything that makes you run round like a mad bastard making as much noise as possible - or crawl, but then Ryu was the only crawler.

I was kind of hoping for a sunny day and at least 8 of the kids outside - thinking perhaps the older two and the younger two might be wanting to stay inside.

Ahhh, but what can you do? One mother asked where high tiger boy from up the road was? I said I saw the weather report for this weekend and stopped inviting people just in case. I actually just forgot so I guess the rain at least gave me an excuse.

Was up at 5 this morning. Not through choice mind you, well not my choice at least. Ryu was master of the hour and I forgave him as he hadn't woken up since going down at half seven. I had a list of things to do...

1. Shape the cake.
2. Feed the baby.
3. Hard boil eggs.
4. Put on load of washing.
5. Change baby's nappy.
6. Clean surfaces that are unlikely to get trashed when the kids wake up.
7. Feed said kids that have now woken up.
8. Give Shou his prezzie from the European Stylist - big dump truck puzzle book, Lightening McQueen CD and Watch (which he is now sleeping with as has built in projector of McQueen which he can shine on his bedroom ceiling - very cool - and also projects onto fireplace, table, floor, microwave, bananas, not so well on the bread bag, very well onto the can of baby formula and daddy's pajama-ed chinchin)
9. Get kids changed.
10. Convince hub to take Marina and Shou to the coin laundry to dry the washing so that I can sort stuff out.
11. Give baby milk - but really baby is fobbed off to Granny K for bottle.
12. Make the butter icing for the cake and decorate - half way through I have reservations that in fact might turn out more like big white superchinchin instead of shinkansen. Drawing windows and doors on it helps.
13. Put baby to bed.
14. Make ham and egg sammies.
15. Make all the beds upstairs and put things like the black panther away so curious four year olds don't come down stairs waving a vibrating, circulating sword wondering what it is.
16. vacuum downstairs and mop floor in main room.
17. Have shower and get self dressed.
18. Deep fry cheesy sticks of goodness and spring rolls.
19. Put everything on plates so it looks pretty.
20. Clean teeth and wait for the people to arrive.

Actually, should probably edit that. Chiemi, her hub and her three boys arrived just before number 18. She said she would have a drink at lunch time so she took over spring roll cooking while I whipped down to the bottley.

The black panther also rarely sees the light of day, or night, these days so it was safely tucked away behind hub's thermal socks.

It was good times though. The kids were pretty good. No fighting, no holes in the walls, no huge spillages or anything else you would expect from putting that many small people in small space for three hours. God help the kindy teachers during the rainy season. May somebody muzzle bitey girl and put gloves on her scratchy hands.

Lunch was lovely. Rachel had brought some lamingtons and a yummy sausage and spud dish that I have just finished off for dinner :)

And now some pics...

So this didn't quite live up to my image. The railway crossing is gigantic and the driver of the train must have been shitting himself thinking the bars were going to chop the train in half. Must say it has transformed self well away from the creamy colored super chinchin it resembled half an hour earlier!! The window at the front is from Shou's Hyper Rescue Tomycar thing. Perfect size.

Crossing starting to lose it. 'I can't stand up captain, I just canne not do it'

Shou using Marina's girlie set she got for being the sister of the birthday boy. This is Sawa-chan who is in Shou's class at kindy. They play together all day everyday -with one other girl who is very shy and perhaps a bit overwhelmed by Shou. Sawa's mum is the mother that dropped her (other) daughter off for English faaaaaaaaaaaar too early the other week. This week I got an email full of smiley faces and what not saying that her father in law was bringing her this week. Go the Kunimi grapevine. I voiced my thoughts on the inappropriateness of me having to babysit her daughter for an extra 45 minutes, unpaid and unannounced to only one other mother, who claimed to not have said anything...

After the two Japanese families left, Rachel and her girls stayed on for a wee bit. This pic is of 'shacho' (boss) and (kouji genba no neechan - the construction site chic). After they left mummy had to take on the construction site chic. I got bossed round no end for about half an hour.

'the construction site chic has to have slippers on'
'the construction site chic has to put these stones in here'
'no, the construction site chic can not lie down'
'and no, the construction site chic can definitely not get herself a beer'
'excuse me, who the fuck do you think is running this joint? I am the boss and I say no beer and no bloody sleeping.'
'fuck her then, I'm off to catch frogs'

And I, aka construction site chic, wakes up five minutes later frantically looking for the boss, aka Shou, who is across the bridge and just about in the rice paddy looking for frogs.

Shou is now asleep and I have just released five frogs back to their natural habitat.

And last pic...

While Shou and daddy were out later - these three stayed like this for seriously about twenty minutes. Marina's mullet is from her afternoon nap - sweating like a pig. She has been changed but her hair is still very Rod Stewart.

Right, Hub is trying to insist I open MY birthday wine I got from Rachel. My birthday isn't till Thursday but hey... He probably wants some action and today has been such a long day and I am pretty knackered so a glass of bubbles may be the pick me up he thinks I need to agree to some relations of some sort.

Right you are then.

SDGH&QL

Cake and Cancer

2010-06-12T21:59:00.001+09:00

Needing to head to bed. Too much time in the kitchen tires me out! Perhaps one episode of 'Numbers', seeing as that and 'The Golden Girls' are the only English things I have that I haven't watched yet.

Have made the cake but it is in the fridge as is - one plain and one choccy loaf tin shapes that I plan on icing all over in white butter icing and 'drawing' windows and shit on tomorrow morning - before placing on a railroad made of ice block sticks, complete with railway crossing. I have realized one of my weaknesses in cake-making is getting the bastard successfully out of the tin. Thankfully I can just cover up mistakes with icing. God damn if one of the kids ever asked for a cake 'straight out of the tin mum' - 'Noooooo darling!! Can mummy please make you a to-scale replica of the Eiffel tower?'

I have also made the bacon and egg pie and the jelly and instant pudding desert cups. Honestly, jelly and chocolate instant pudding? Can't go wrong with three year olds. I'm a bit partial myself.

Marina came back from kindy unscathed again today, but this could possibly be because she went off with hello-kitty stickers covering just about every inch of her body. Sakura would have been hard pressed to leave any teeth marks even if she tried!

The forecast is for rain tomorrow but I am still hoping it holds off enough so we can at least raincoat the kids up and tell them to bugger off outside. Festivities kick off at half ten. Some playing and running riot followed by lunch and cake and home, where most of the kids will have afternoon naps.

Rang mum this morning. It was the first time I have asked how she was and been answered with 'horrible'. She is so brave. Her hair has fallen out in a crescent where the radiotherapy has been happening. Her head is sore (like a really bad sunburn she reckons) and she feels like shit. And yet, she pulled herself together and we had a 'normal' conversation for about half an hour. I have a feeling October visit home is going to be a big shock for me. I'm getting a bit scared :(

I rang the travel agent yesterday and said we wanted to go Korean air so I could use my mileage - they wont do it. Why? because of personal information laws. Since when did TRAVEL AGENTS not book tickets with partial mileage usage because of this kind of shit? Anyway, went to book online with Korean Air and realized I am 11,000 miles short of a free adult ticket. I am sure last time I looked about a year ago I had plenty enough points - have they upped them? Because I can't use miles unless I have enough for a whole ticket (??) I now have to join us all up on the family plan so that I can either use hub's points or use my mileage for a kids ticket at least.

JETSTAR was 30 man from Kansai to Auckland, with a stop in the Goldcoast. It would cost us an extra 10 man to get to and from Kansai. For 40 man we can fly Korean, get food on the plane, do the transit thing in an airport we are familiar with that has a good transit hotel and play areas, and fly from Fukuoka - and earn more mileage.

Anyway, best get off the computer.

SDGH&QL

Trying to resolve things

2010-06-11T13:41:00.002+09:00

I spent yesterday and this morning really thinking about the kindy thing - mainly the boy punching the girl during my English lesson. I didn't end up talking to the teacher about it as I got blindsided by another mother and we had a bit of a gass and I forgot. In hindsight I think it was for the best though. Obviously I wasn't going to leave it at me doing nothing though.

On our walk to kindy this morning we passed the girl's house. It is over a paddy but we yelled out good morning and I yelled out after her face. She yelled back that it was fine and off we went. From across the paddy though it looked to me like her mother was hearing this information for the first time so I was still festering about it.

Ryu and I had a nap this morning - it was great. The kind where you wake up with drool on the pillow wondering where the fuck in China you are and why it's light outside. Deep sleep. Was muchly needed.
We then went on the first shop for Sunday's festivities. I have to do one shop two days before so that I still have a day to get all the shit I will no doubt forget. And I have - hmmmm, no butter for the 'butter icing', no juice and no ham and no salsa. Tomorrow will be busy as have to clean the house and the garden too. Hub will be here though and by god he will be helping, regardless of severity of self induced hangover after tonight's night out with the office.

Anyway, on the way back from shopping I make up my mind to go to the girls house again. I have gone over what I want to say. This kind of thing is hard anywhere but Japan doesn't make it easy to be the 'tell-taler'. I had decided to go the 'it happened during my class and that's why I'm here' route.

It was lunch time so I caught the girl's mum at home. I asked about her daughters face and she said it was fine, there was no bruising but that my yelling out this morning was the first she heard of the incident. I told her exactly what happened and apologized for not doing anything other than a very feeble reprimand of the boy in question. We talked about how the teachers shouldn't be letting this shit slide and how it is sending very bad messages to not just the boy who punched her but to the whole class.

The mother is going to talk to the teacher in charge when she goes to pick her daughter up this afternoon.

It really is hard you know. Knowing what the right thing to do is. This is a small community. I have known most of the teachers since I was working as a CIR on JET. I know a lot of the kids and the parents and if I don't then hopefully I will be teaching their children at some stage over the years. I don't want to be the confrontational gaijin who rocks the boat but then again I can't let this happen without doing anything, especially as I have witnessed it with my own eyes.

I still plan on talking to the teacher before my next class. I also have the email of the mother of the boy so am umming and ahhing over whether to send her a very delicately worded email as well. I know I should. Then, after both the parents know.... well they can fight their own fight with the kindy teacher. I can't be referee for other people's fights. It's too bloody draining.

And about the slapper bitey bitch - well, Marina came away clean yesterday. The teachers were very happy in reporting this to me. To put in a few good words for the kindy - cause it's not all biting and punching. My kids are 90 percent of the time very happy there. They come home happy, with stories to tell and songs to sing. They very rarely put up a fuss about actually going and if they do it is because Shou has been out in the garden before breakfast and caught some disgusting crawly thing and would like to stay at home all day to watch it and try and catch more.

They get very nutritious meals, a nap and a fairly structured schedule. I don't think Marina gets enough stimulation but it's the babies class so I don't imagine the teachers will introduce too much more. She will get more stimulation when she moves up a class in April.

Of course this doesn't compensate for the bodily harm and if Sakura continues to look like she isn't calming down on the biting thing then Marina will come out until the teachers sort their shit out. Moving both of them to the other kindy is an option but at the moment they are in the same classes as the kids they will be going to school with. There is always that option though and I don't think that the other place is full.

Anyway, best get my New Zealand bag together, complete with vegemite and honey and tasters, for my first class for the year at the primary school. I can do what I want but could this first lesson please be on New Zealand - honestly, the only people in the room that wouldn't have heard this sepal before are the two teachers. Ah well. I do plan on introducing knuckle bones, elastics and the Maori stick game though so they can spend half an hour in groups playing those - and then gagging and running out to the water fountain when they try the vegemite thinking that it is chocolate. Fun, fun, fun.

Oh, and I lost 600g this week. Not great but considering the stress levels this week it is nothing short of a miracle. Is all this walking and festering I tell you.

Oh, oh, the new man teacher was in the room when the punch incident occurred. He did nothing and I now no longer think he is even remotely hot. Fuckin wimp I say.

SDGH&QL

Later - Sakura and her mum and brother have just been over to apologize - with a box of donuts (there goes that 600g) and Sakura had a special box of Kitty-chan plasters for Marina!! The mother isn't who I was thinking and Sakura's mum is very lovely girl. I can't believe she produced such a slapper bitey child, although I think I might have seen Sakura smile this evening - that's a first. It hasn't rectified the situation but it is a step in the right direction, an important one I think. Not the donuts. The apology. Now the teachers just need to shape up or ship out.

Saved by Shark

2010-06-10T16:18:00.000+09:00

So I dropped the kids off - in two lots. Marina was packing a wobbly so she got taken out of the pushchair and put in the genkan for daddy and granny to look after until I came back from taking Shou. An hour later I then take Marina in the car - tis still only eight ten though! Some washing gets hung, some dishes washed and then its time to head back to the kindy for my English time.

Had the big kids first and in general they were quite good. We read the hungry caterpillar and then used some flashcards. Cool flashcards that have furry bits and bumpy bits and shiney bits. They are meant to be fun to touch so no fun if they can't all touch them. I gave them rules. No grabbing. This stuff costs me money and I expect it to be in usable condition when I leave.

The first one to go round is a mirror that you can actually see yourself in. The girl beside me gets it and the plan is that she will look at it and pass it on to the boy beside her. I wonder. Is this too much to ask of 5 year olds? The boy tries to take it off her straight away and there is a tussle that ends up with my super duper cool flash card getting all bent and the boy hitting, no let me reword that, punching the girl in the face.

Yes, you read that right.

It is the same boy who had a go at Shou a while back - the one whose mother I am on the committee with. The girl in question used to be boss of her class last year and beat up the boys constantly. She isn't like that anymore (which gives me hope that slapper bitey bitch might get over her phase too) I saw this 'exchange' and immediately took the card off the boy and asked the girl, who was crying, how she was.

The teachers..... there were two of them..... and seeing as I witnessed it I wasn't watching them but I find it hard to believe that neither of them saw this....

they did NOTHING.

They did not even verbally reprimand this boy. And it was a punch people. IN THE FACE. If they didn't see it happen surely they would at least ask the girl why she was crying. Surely just my being their didn't stop them from behaving like they would normally behave??

Course of action.... me, the by now monster parent all the teachers will start to hate, - I am going to first of all ask how the girl is and then say that I don't teach in a classroom where it is OK for this kind of thing to happen. What is the pre-school's policy on this kind of thing? And I hope they don't mind that next time I come, if I witness this kind of thing again, and the teachers don't do anything, I WILL. I will pick that boy up, and sit him out in the hall and he can stay there for the lesson, which I will then make as fun as possible so that there is a lot of giggling and laughing for him to be 'missing out' on. He will then get brought back in and the class can together spend a few minutes thinking seriously about the course of this kind of action. He will also be made to apologize properly - none of this half laughing gomen shit.

So that wasn't all the drama this morning. After this class I had Shou and Marian and their little friends for half an hour. It was fine. The kids were a bit clingy and liking the novelty of mummy being at kindy. Sakura wasn't naughty. She wasn't interested much either, but at least she wasn't naughty.

Well, not for those 25 minutes.

As I was putting my stuff away one of the very lovely two year old girls went and sat next to Sakura. It appeared to me that Sakura had put her arm around this girl, which I thought nice but a bit odd, given her recent behavior. They are facing away from the room, sitting on the step to outside. I see Sakura start to strain, putting all her strength into something. I start to go over and the nice girl stands up with BLOOD DROPS DRIPPING DOWN HER CHEEK.

Fuck me. The teacher's first reaction was NOT to tell Sakura off. It also wasn't to go to the girl and ask how she was. It, to me, seemed that telling Sakura off (a slap on the hand and a bit of a shake by the shoulders and a 'why did you do that' kind of thing) was an afterthought. Because of me perhaps?

What kind of fucking muppet operation is this kindergarten running?

I got in the car with Ryu - who the teachers had held the whole time, no doubt freaking out if they put him down with bunch of stressed out for being in a small room with eleven bitey scratchy kids babies and toddlers he would end up getting a going over - and we drove for a while and I cried.

I am now leaning a lot more towards the side of 'the staff at the kindy are useless' as opposed to the it's all Sakura's fault.

I think Shou, for the most part is fine. He is in a room with two very sweet girls. Him and Marina fight a bit but thats to be expected I guess.

I am thinking I might try next week with Marina at home.

If it works, and she can be good while I have English class, or I can get Ryu to sleep then so that Granny K only has to look after her, then hub and I will talk about making it permanent. And Shou? He will be in the same room as the punchy boy next year. Hopefully the boy has calmed down by then.

Having two kids at home will mean no translation work whatsoever. We could look into the kindy in the middle of town, where Chiemi works, but we won't get second child discount there and Marina would be a 35000 for the month - which is slightly more than what Shou is. I don't particularly want them at different places. What I want is for the kindy to sort their fuckin shit out and make it a place where kids are having a bit more bloody fun and not getting beaten up by the handful of bullies, or at least that there are proper disciplinary rules in place so that the children learn that that kind of behavior is not acceptable.

So anyway, I was not a happy camper this morning. Had lunch and then Ryu and I had a big nap and five minutes after I woke up I got a lovely phonecall. I was a bit reluctant to pick it up thinking that it would be the crab and scollop shop up in Hokkaido AGAIN - hub and I went there on our honeymoon six years ago and bought two crabs to send down to his brother. They ring all the fuckin time, regardless of the fact that we haven't bought anything since.

But it wasn't, it was Heather. What a pleasant surprise. Sorry for not sounding more friendly Heather. I don't think I even asked how you and the girls were? How are you?

Heather saw some shark at the local supermarket, thought of me, and is going to freeze a pack and cool post it down so either on Saturday or Sunday night I will be able to make proper beer batter fush and chups.

You made my day Heather, you really did. I didn't know how I was going to pull myself out of sucky kindy depression but it looks like shark may well have saved the day :)

Thank you.

SDGH&QL

Slapper Bitey Bitch

2010-06-09T21:20:00.004+09:00

So I spoke to A teacher at kindy this morning. It wasn't one of Marina's teachers but they all help out here and there during the day so I thought the message would get passed on. I said my piece about not being thrilled about Marina coming home with bitemarks every second day and that could they keep an extra pair of eyes on Marina and Sakura today when they were within close proximity of each other. I also asked that anything be written down in the parent/teacher contact notebook.

This teacher, in a nice way, tried to tell me that Sakura doesn't bite without being provoked. Marina's main teacher yesterday said this is exactly what happens on over half the occasions. The pair will be playing fine (so fine that despite their history teachers don't keep watch because everything is peaceful) and then the first thing they know about the bite is because Marina is screaming. If Marina is provoking the little slapper (sorry, but I am so sick of this), then she is obviously doing it very quietly.

Because I ended up feeling BAD about voicing my concerns about this girl chomping into Marina all the time I rang hub and asked him to please ring Marina's head teacher at half eight just to reinforce that we want things written down. I want to KNOW if there has been something that Marina has done to provoke this girl during incidents. Is she stealing her toys all the time? Is she giving her the finger? Is she whispering 'whose ya daddy' in her ear? I don't just want to hear that she has been bitten again. I want the story so I can deal with Marina as well.

Hub tried to ring but the head teacher wasn't in today.

Ryu and I spent the day doing stuff like making railway crossings that didn't get made last night. I think I have done a stellar job but you'll have to wait to see it in full effect with the bullet train cake on Sunday. I got some errands done. Closed a long term deposit early with bank in NZ. Bit gutted but we were trying to live off the smell of an oily rag this month and we still have two weeks to go. I have to be careful though because it is the only available money I have until my sisters and brother pay me back - and that doesn't legally need to happen for another two years. Sigh, DON't go into business with family.

English went fine and then I went to pick Marina and Shou up...

From the look the teacher gave me as I walked through the gate I knew....

GW: No! She hasn't been bitten AGAIN surely?
Teacher: I'm sorry Aramaki-san (half laughing which I am totally over as well).
GW: What happened?
Teacher: I was watching them both all day I swear but the second I turn my back to help another kid on the monkey bars Marina pokes her tongue out at Sakura and then gets bitten on the thigh (the back of her thigh as she is climbing up to be next on the monkey bars)
GW: (thinking, you're back can't have been turned very well if you saw all that happen?) Oh, come here sweetie.
Teacher: I'm sorry. Please apologise to your husband for me too. (obviously they know he tried to ring)
GW: (to Sakura slapper bitey bitch who is still there with her brother waiting to be picked up) Hey Sakura, can you play nicely with Marina for me? She has four sets of your teeth imprinted on her body. Not wanting anymore OK. Got it? I've got friends who know people who might just turn up at your house while you're watching anpanman and muzzle your choppers shut.

A bit more apologising. It wasn't too bad today...

This is Marina getting off extremely lightly. Yesterday's was worse...

She has a hole in her t-shirt from this. You can see why I titled it vampire yeah? Not the usual teeth marks. The one on her other thigh that happened the day before I got back from NZ was the worst. Nearly a month on and it still looks like the one she got today - but looked five times worse than this one here when it happened - and it was a whole set of perfectly imprinted teeth. Who needs dental records when you've got Sakura's teeth on Marina's thigh.

Anyway, I AM PISSED OFF. The head teacher rang here at 7pm and asked for hub. He wasn't home yet so she is ringing back in 15. He is not impressed either. Might need to add an edit later.

Oh, and tomorrow I am going to the kindy at half nine for my first volunteer English play time. Fuck. You can bet I'm going to keep an eye on the maverick biter. Maybe I'll even poke my tongue out at her and see if she tries to take my big gaijin thigh on.

God, we could be onto a diet winner - hire Sakura to bite your fatty thighs and flummy off. Excellent.

SDGH&QL

Edit - Phone call over. Teacher was very apologetic. Hub said everything he intended to. Good man. By the sounds of it Marina isn't being right bitch to Sakura. The poking her tongue out at her today could have been because I harped on at her before kindy about not playing with the slapper - which isn't fair because they are actually friends.

So the teachers are going to be keeping a pretty good eye out. There will be some serious shite going down if she comes home tomorrow and Friday with new bites. If she does we have decided to take her out of kindy next week so at least she can recover from the last barrage of biting before she gets more :(

Granny K Rant and Vampires

2010-06-08T22:43:00.000+09:00

So I was going to post this yesterday but didn't want to steal Ryu's thunder on his birthday.

Sunday night was pretty heinous sleep wise. Ryu and Marina both woke up twice each and I got a grand total of about 50 minutes sleep seeing as I didn't go to bed myself until just before midnight. Needless to say yesterday morning there was a bit of mad-dog mummy going on, not helped by Shou ignoring 110 percent of what he was being asked to do. Not exactly rocket science. Brushing your teeth, putting on your socks. I was losing it big time.

Granny K comes in and tells me to control myself and that it is no bloody wonder Shou is like he is if I am angry at him all the time. For 1. I am not angry ALL the time. Having her around doesn't bloody well help though. Neither does three small children under the age of four and husband who is late most nights. I tell her that I know all this but that her giving this 'advice' when I am obviously in a shit mood is not helping the situation. She ignored me and continued to say her piece for another five minutes.

I was so good I was. I did a bit of stomping but I didn't stay anything to her in a language she would understand. Fuckin stupid bitch as I stomped upstairs with Ryu was probably understood though more through tone and flying spit than English recognition.

I had a big blub upstairs holding on to my birthday boy, fantasizing about running away with my three perfect children and starting life in a beautiful little stone villa in tuscany or somewhere. That or burning the bitch at the stake. I looked like a cabbage patch kid after all the crying so I asked hub to take Shou and Marina to kindy and he did, bless the man. Pity he didn't stick up for me when Granny K was having a go at me but christ, can't have it all I guess.

I stayed upstairs and napped with Ryu and thought seriously about packing an overnight bag for the two of us and running away to the city for some yakitori and a hotel for the night. But it was his first birthday man. I couldn't do that. Imagine that - Ryu asking when he was about 20, why are there no pics of my first birthday mum? Sorry darling but Granny was being a bitch so we ran away for the night.

We went out to meet friend for lunch and get stuff for cake. I was going to make it properly but ended up getting the box type, mixing and baking and turning it into this...

I didn't make enough icing to do the sides but nevermind. Ryu ate a WHOLE piece and some leftovers tonight! I also got some footage of him with his hands in it - and thats what a first birthday cake is all about really!

Hey, and you'll be so proud of me. Granny K was invited in for the proceedings. Given I wanted to light her instead of the candles I refrained. And yes, that was candle S - for Shou and Marina's benefit, Ryu actually turned eight yesterday.

Granny K came in at about 4pm and asked where Ryu was (minus any hello or greeting in the form of a grunt or anything) and then, upon my telling her that he was asleep, promptly left his prezzie on the kitchen table without a single word and buggered off. Ryu woke up thirty seconds later so I took him, and the prezzie, into her room and said, through Ryu, that Granny wanted to give him his birthday prezzie. It was one of those dogs that walk and every so often stop, sit and do a back flip. Ryu was in absolute hysterics. It was very funny...

Funnier when him and Marina were doing it but...

And, another pic, just because...

This was taken yesterday morning and Marina's outfit was the start of Shou's nutout. I bought this and three other outfits (two each) at toys R us about a year ago. They were well cheap (2000 yen down to 500 for one set). I got Marina's down but one of Shou's is more of an Autumn PJ one so I left it. Holy bloody shit. You'd think the sky was falling down. What is it about kids and things having to be fair for EVERYTHING??

Obviously the 'why doesn't mum take a pic' angle worked and Shou was nice brother for all of thirty seconds.

You can't really see Marina's sore eye - it is her right eye. It was worse let night than when it happened on Sunday. She has been in the wars lately and today was no exception. I went to pick her up from kindy this evening and...

teacher: I'm really sorry Aramaki-san....
GW: Why? Did Sakura take a chomp out of her again (half joking)...
teacher: (looking guilty) Yes, I'm so sorry. They were playing so nicely together and it just happened so fast we didn't have time to pull Sakura off her. (showing me Marina's shoulder blade - which looks like it has two snake puncture wounds. Bloody - not nice)
GW: Holy shit. That is like the third serious bite in a month. She still has the remnants of the last two...
teacher: I'm really sorry. I did tell her mother today though...
GW: ...
teacher: she said it would be good if Marina just chomped Sakura back...
GW: (like that is so not the problem - but fuck, I'll chomp Sakura back) ha ha.. good. This is getting a bit out of hand.
teacher: It's not just Marina (like I should be happy knowing that??), it's just that Marina and Sakura are good friends and they gravitate towards each other - and well, Sakura doesn't reserve her bites just for when she is pissed off. She can be quite contented and then just lash out.

Anyhoo, am going to have proper talk with Marina and Sakura's main teacher tomorrow morning. This is ridiculous. A lot of kids go through a biting stage but this is just beyond a joke. I am going to specifically ask/tell the teacher tomorrow that Marina not play with Sakura. I'm sad it's come to this but there is seriously no other way - bar Sakura's parents sorting out whatever is going on with older brother at home that is causing this, and having more of a serious attitude would help. Honestly... If you got told that your child had bitten another child for the XXX time this month - and you got told that child's name and you lived in a tiny town where everyone knows everyone, would you or would you not ring up the victims mother to apologize on behalf of your cannibalistic child??

Hub said she probably wont ring cause she's probably only about 26 and doesn't know better??? What the fuck. Like age should let you off the hook. This isn't a one off thing. Marina currently has FOUR sets of Sakura's teethmarks on her beautiful little body.

I can see how monster parents start. I so don't blame Sakura (well, not entirely) - I blame her parents, and the teachers at the kindy cause if Sakura is there six days a week from 8-5, and biting kids for half that time then they should be telling her off accordingly. Should they not?

Anyway, enough ranting. Am off to make a railway crossing out of wood, nails and duct tape - thanks Shou for ordering up a bullet train and a railway crossing for your birthday cake this year!! Am so not making a railway crossing out of cake so this will have to suffice!

SDGH&QL

Dear Mum (love Ryu)

2010-06-07T21:06:00.002+09:00

Dear Mum (Love Ryu)

WARNING: Obscenities from the mouth of a babe (warning posted by mum)

So, Happy Birthday to me aye.

Can you believe it's been a year already? A whole year since that traumatic underwater adventure culminating in trying to get my big head out the saloon doors. I know you probably think you were in more pain that day but really, think about it....

I really wanted to come out the week before. God, even the doctor thought I'd be out that day but then you god damn went and closed those saloon doors back up. Sealed them tight and I had to wait a whole nother week. When it was time I couldn't jostle my way down far enough for fricken ages. Don't know what all that squishy shit in there was but I had to really fight my way through. I was in such a rush at the end that I got all bloody tangled up in that damn cord. No wonder the doc had to pull me out by the head, I could hardly breathe man.

I thought, that after such an effort getting out that my mum would be a bit more excited to see me. I had 39 weeks to imagine what our first meeting would be like. I thought that I'd do a bit of screaming at you and then you would say something like 'hey sweetie, its so nice to finally meet you'. Instead the first thing you said to me was 'shit, he's purple'.

The nurse had to take me away to try and help me turn back to that normal baby color so I only got a token nuzzle to the boobs. I wasn't particularly hungry but it still would have been nice to get my face in there for a bit longer.

Dad took a video of my first bath. Not too excited about that home video to be honest. I'm all purple, screaming and looking like I've been in hot bath for too long - which I guess I have. Hope you don't feel that stupid parental need to show the video at my 21st or something horrific like that. It's shit like that that makes kids want to disown their parents aye.

I really wanted to come back for some more cuddles but I got put in the baby room for a few hours. I was a bit unsettled after all the trauma but a couple of the other blokes in there, the ones who were like already four days old, were really good. They told me it would all be OK and reassured me that being on the outside was more fun. They also let me in on the secret of the boob - and how it makes you feel all warm and safe and shit.

I remember when I was finally allowed another go at the boobs and one of the nurses came in. She asked if you wanted me in your room from the first night. I think I might have looked up at you expectantly - yes you do mummy, then we can have cuddles and boob ALL night - but you didn't even see me. You just kind of laughed at the nurse and said hell no, I want some sleep, he can room in from day three. The nurse then asked if you wanted to go home early - seeing as I had a big brother and sister at home waiting for you. If I remember correctly you laughed almost insanely and said something along the lines of that the only reason you had me was so that you could get a week away from those two. I have always wondered what you really said, cause I know no mother would actually say that out loud!

You know, I have good days and bad days about this whole 'third child' thing. Somedays I think it's great cause the older bro and sis can be so stupid that all I have to do is something pathetic like laugh or gurgle and you think I'm fuckin Christmas. Other days I am so far down the food chain that I wonder if you can actually hear me crying in my cot. I don't sit their screaming for the fun of it you know!

But overall mum, I think we've made quite a good team this year. I LOVED going back to New Zealand with you. I was THE MAN for ten whole days. Apart from the wanker men stewards on the flight back everybody bloody loved me. Thanks for taking me. It was so special - just you and me.

I know it's hard with us three, and dad can be a bit of a prick sometimes but you know he's really trying mum. Give the poor man the benefit of the doubt, how on earth would he find the time for pachinko, what ever the fuck that is.

Granny K's a piece of work isn't she? She loves me of course but man, she didn't need to go off at you this morning of all mornings. Does she not know I like waking you up in the middle of the night. I even had to compete with Marina last night. Good on you for not losing your rag.

That dog she gave me for my birthday was quite a laugh aye. Well, I'm a bit over it now but the first fifty back flips or so were pretty fuckin hilarious.

And mum, don't worry about yesterday. I'm a baby. I'm pretty resilient. But hey - don't let it happen again cause it would be nice if I still had some brain left to take advantage of having two languages being thrown at me 24/7.

Oh, and mum, I love you.

You're pretty awesome.

Love Ryu.

Bad Mummy Guilts

2010-06-06T21:14:00.001+09:00

Sometimes Sundays, especially the mornings, can be so nice. The general routine is that hub will take Shou and Marina out on their park tour which usually involves going to the park in the next town over - the one with the roller slide that comes out of a rocket (and more affectionately known to Shou and Marina as rocket koen/park), followed by a trip to the park in Kunimi - the one with the roller slide that comes out of a ship (and more affectionately known to Shou and Marina as the fune koen). It is at a beach so there is also some crab grabbing followed by an ice cream and some takoyaki for morning tea. Talk about nice morning out for the kids.

While they are out Ryu will usually sleep for at least and hour and a half and I get time to have a coffee, ring NZ and sort out the house before the carnage of the rest of the day takes over.

Today was no exception. I got a coffee, rang mum, hung out the washing and started to sort out lunch. The crew came home, we had lunch and then Shou , Ryu and I left to drop off crap Bruce Willis DVD we got last night, leaving hub and Marina to have a nap.

All good so far.

Come 2:30 and Shou and Marina are running round being complete 'let's not listen to mum and dad' bastards and Ryu is...

This was taken yesterday before we all left the house looking like a band of convicts. But today he was having a go out on the deck. I am a 'shut the bloody gate on the deck' Nazi. There are three steps down to some paved bricks.

My poor wee boy.

And it was MY fault :( I came up the deck, left the gate open because Shou was coming behind me and then promptly got engrossed in trying to tell hub that the pink sandals hidden at the back of the shoe cupboard (and that he had found and was putting on Marina) were far too big and were bought for next summer or perhaps even the one after that).

Thud, thud thud crash.

Five seconds pass.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Poor Ryu. He howled blue murder for a good five minutes, me for a good ten, and then he was fine. He has three different bumps on his head and I think he may have even done a complete flip in it before settling on the ground. Well, that's what happened when I did the test without him in it!!

We rang THREE hospitals. First we rang the one that was 'on call' in our city for today. They told us to ring the big city hospital as they take emergencies now. That hospital is probably only ten minutes closer than the big hospital in the other direction that we have been to a lot - it was Marina's hospital for a lot of her kidney issues that first year. They said that, despite Marina and Shou both having charts there, because Ryu didn't we should try the city hospital in the next city over. For fucks sake. If we have to take him to a completely new hospital we may as well go back to the one in our city jurisdiction. Ring them and explain the story AGAIN.

Don't bring him in - as they would just give him drugs to make him sleep and then do a CT and that would take quite a while so may as well monitor him at home and bring him in if his lips turn blue or he starts shaking.....

He is fine by the way. Has been his usual charming self since five minutes after the fall, but still. It was A LOT worse than his fall down the genkan and because neither of us actually saw it happen there is that feeling of 'what if' he landed smack on his head on the concrete??

Anyway, have to keep close watch for 24 hours.

So that was that drama - not helped by hub going on and on about me leaving the gate open. Roles reversed I would have been the same though.

At about 6pm - while Marina was in Granny K's room, where she had gone to skive off eating her dinner, Shou ran in, jumped on the bed and Marina went flying onto the window-sill. She now has a black eye and I'll be lucky if I last the day tomorrow without social services calling round.

Hence why I am now having a beer and day 7 of the 4 month challenge has been almost as much of a right off as day 6 was. Ah well, five days to get back on track aye. Might have to resort to pulling Billy and his hard arse boot camp out from under the stairs if I'm going to lose another kilo this week.

I am also going to leave this room in it's current state of pig styness and go to bed. I am FINALLY getting around to sorting the kids clothes. Tonight I did Marina's and there are three piles of clothes left in here - a pile to pass on to the lady up the road for her daughter, a pile that Marina will probably still fit in winter, and a pile that aren't pink and that will get passed on to Ryu when the time comes.

In Other news...

My little bumpy head treasure turns one tomorrow! Arrrrrrrrgh. I need to clean the house AND make a cake. Christ. At least he doesn't care what the cake looks like. Depending on what it looks like however there may or may not be a photo of it tomorrow night.

SDGH&QL