You know those days - not the ones when you brush your teeth with your husband's biore men's facewash, trip over the cat on the way out the door and then try and take your kids to kindy forgetting hub's car is still behind yours and you just about reverse into it. Not those days. The ones you just want to curl back up into bed and wish somebody else would come look after your children, wash the dirty undies, vacuum, go to the bank and supermarket for you, and teach your English class... AND go on a health kick and exercise for you.
Yeah, those days.
Yesterday was OK. I was blog hopping and having a quick coffee in the morning when I came across a pic of some eggs benedict. I am the kind of person that sees something and then NEEDS it. Eggs benedict not on our menu round here and in fact muffins, or crumpets, or anything other than plain bread not available locally so eggs benedict craving turned into bacon and egg pie which turned into having to invite someone over for lunch for fear of eating whole pie by self.
Tried my depressed friend on valium but well she was too depressed to come over. (I shouldn't be light hearted about this I know but I have tried a couple of times since finding out that she has stopped working to meet up but to no avail. Any ideas on how I should go about trying to 'be there' for her that doesn't involve me sitting here on the other side of town on my fat ass doing nothing.) I then tried my other friend who is on leave from work with her small (not literally - three month old weighs 10 kilos) baby.
She said OK, will see you in fifteen minutes - at 11am. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Amazing powers of something meant I had the pie in the oven, the bench cleaned, the floor vacuumed and my hair brushed by 10:59. I kept pottering until 12:10 when she shows up - apologizing for writing the wrong time in her txt. Nevermind. Am sure lost 1500 calories in those fifteen minutes so all good.
I also did Billy yesterday and again this morning - that is five times in the week since I started. I can make it to the end, which was really only two minutes after the dreaded squats so don't know why I didn't get there sooner. Workout ends with everyone joining hands and having a big group hug - in words - and of course something about god, and finding your path and taking flight.
I foolishly thought that all this Billy and feeding the chickens and walking like a gorilla Bollywood style would mean something. For fucks sake. I was THE SAME weight this morning as I was almost 8 weeks ago. You know, I think this flummy to fabulous has saved me from 'putting on' weight - perhaps that was the meaning for me. At this extremely stressful time in your life you shall start a healthy eating and exercise blog so that you refrain from turning into jabber the hut. And if that was the aim then I have been successful. Of course staying the same weight is still lots of kilograms away from fabulous.
I know someone who was in a hugely stressful period in her life. She'd wake up and think about everything on her plate and then get overly depressed and to top it all off well, fuck, she was fat which of course just magnified all the other shit cause surely being depressed and fat is a lot worse than being depressed and skinny. So, what did she do? She went and booked herself in for a gastric band operation. How nice would that be.
Unfortunately I don't want a bit of rubber in my tummy I want will power.
At this rate you will never be audience to my bollywood youtube video.
Anyhoo, I'm sure that was some huge tangent. Where the fuck was I?
OK, so yeah, one of those days. Dropped the kids at kinder - in the lashing rain - AGAIN. Has been pissing rain since yesterday morning. The river outside our house has turned into Niagra.
mum: but mummy wouldn't even handle swimming in that darling.
Shou: but I'm a boy and I put my head under the water at kindy last week.
mum: look darling, that water is moving reeaaaaaaaaaly fast.
Shou: daddy got in it the other night to save the cat.
mum: it was a beautiful day darling, not a rain cloud in sight. There was only 10cm of water in the river.
Shou: (contemplating the universe) but I put my head under the water at kindy last week.
I am being a river nazi - I have nightmares of my children falling in and being swept away - when it is full of water - or hitting their heads on the concrete bottom when it's nearly empty.
So I guess the rain, the humidity, the worrying that my children are going to drown, the putting up with five people telling me today that Ryu should go to the doctors - he should by the way. His cough is getting quite bad. He didn't get a temperature however until 11:05 am - exactly. I know this because Granny K told me to take his temperature. Obedient daughter in law that I am (snigger snigger) I did. Our hospital is an hours drive away - 50 minutes if get all the green lights and 45 minutes if your wife is in labour in the back seat and it's 2am AND you get all the green lights. So the chances were that I wouldn't get there before they knock off for their two hour lunch break. Can't go after lunch as then I wouldn't make it back in time for my English class.
So what does bad mummy do - she gives the baby some pamol (which I am sure is only good in that it makes the mother feel better that she has actually done something) and declares that she will walk 10km in the snow barefoot tomorrow morning to take the baby to the doctors.
He has been a cling on all day - which is really his main sign that he is feeling a bit under the weather. I had to go to the town office because, by a stroke of luck, I remembered that my gain card expires in three days. Despite being a cling on and not even going to Granny K Ryu did put his arms out to pretty town office divorcee chick - but then I reckon 95% of the men in Kunimi, hub included, would put there arms out to her so I didn't take it personally.
Had to drive to next town over to get passport photos for new gain card. Got the worst photos in the history of passport photos - only for hub to see them and say they weren't so bad - looked just like me. Obviously as is photo of me but still. A bit of lying wouldn't have gone astray - crickey sweetie, that's a harsh pic, must be a shit camera cause you are so much prettier in real life.
Anyway, this post is really going no where. I feel a lot better now though and think I can stop digging that hole I was getting the spade ready for.
Hope everyone else is having better, less depressing weather than us.
Oh, and I spoke to mum yesterday. She starts the serious chemo this Friday :( What can I get her? She has had enough flowers to open a florist although I don't think she has any right now. On the chemo drugs she loses her sense of taste so nice foods is out of the question.... Hmmmmm....
I guess this is also behind my depressed mood of late - she is in the middle of buying all the grandkids something. She said she wants to buy them something nice and while she said it doesn't have to be something they keep for ever to 'remember granny by' in the same breath it isn't to be something that they would really want now (ie Shou and a remote control jet fighter). She said she wants them to be able to use it now though. My three older nieces all got very nice bracelets but what for toddlers and babies?? She has gotten Marina and my two other smaller nieces kiddy bracelets - those retractable ones that can get smaller. But boys?? In the same token, I don't want it to be something the kids will lose as it may well be 'the last thing' they get from Granny.
Sob sob. Cancers a bitch.
Best get my little boy, he's having a bit of a snivel himself.
PS - this is what Granny K does to Ryu when he starts to sweat.