Saturday, 3 July 2010

Long Jumble

I've got a lot to post - lots going on in this head of mine.  bit of a meltdown, the kids being cute, hub being a bit of a dickhead, Granny K not thinking - which really led to the meltdown and hub being a dickhead, and really rather pathetic and over the top but hey - life has a way of being life, getting in the way, making our days what they are.

The day started out OK I guess although I made four phone calls to NZ, including mum. That was fine - she's lost all her hair from halfway back and the front and sides are falling out from chemo reaction now too. She got a new wig today - a bit more shaggy looking than the very styled one she got first off. She has two more weeks until the serious chemo starts. Fuck I'm scared - I'm scared that I won't know the timeline. I'm sure mum and dad probably think they are doing us a favor by not telling us details but I would rather know. In March we got told a year, after the op they said perhaps we will still be chasing her round the neighborhood in her nighty but now people aren't so positive. The topic kind of gets avoided now and it scares me.

Later, I was reading comments from my 'how to raise bilingual kids' post and got thinking about how I could take the kids back to NZ for a few months to amp their English level up - when Shou was perhaps 6, Marina 5 and Ryu 3. That way Shou and Marina could go to the primary school up the road from my parents house - where I went to. And then it hit me, in two years....

FUCK, there is a possibility mum won't even be here, in which case dad would have moved cause house is too big and sister, who lives round the road, will have moved as her hub is currently doing renovations on the house to put it on the market. Life as we know it folks.

It kind of hit me. I didn't say anything to hub and I may have not even realized it myself until the whole fuckin curry  saga.

I bought meat to make curry - being a person of not many menus I do not know what to do with curry meat except make curry. We didn't have any curry ru (squares) so I asked hub to please pick some up on the way to pick the kids up from kinder - not a hard request as shop 500 meters away sells it.

In Japan the instant curry mix comes in sweet (not sweet but by no means curry-ish in anyway and perfect for family with small persons including one year old who now eats everything), medium (I like, but too hot as is for whole family) and hot which I never buy but isn't hot by hot standards but still too much for small kids.  I realize that in remote villages in india babies are eating vindaloo for breakfast but here, the sweet Japanese curry is all the kids manage at the moment.

Hub comes back with medium - and this was the start of the rant.

I looked at the packet and immediately asked why he got medium and not the usual sweet - he said Granny K got it. She went with him and had some shopping to do so he took her to the supermarket in the next town over before getting the kids. He said he asked Granny K the same question - why the medium? I said so you realized she go the wrong one? could you not have given her that packet and picked up a sweet one on the way back?

This of course begs the question of why did I put the stuff in the curry when really I should have just gone out and got the proper stuff myself? Instead it caused an argument about curry and adding milk and honey - which I did and in the end the kids ate it - but in a normal world, I would think the hub would mutter some form of apology for getting the wrong shit, the wife would smile and say no worries sweetie I'll just add some milk and some honey and the world would be at peace.

But here, hub turns the argument around, demands I put milk and honey in the curry and then belittles me for not doing it and why don't I ever listen - I do end up putting it in and then I set the kids dinner and hubs and pack my little third child bundle of joy up and head out in the car for half an hour - to a barrage of 'bakas' from hub.

This shouldn't have resulted from the wrong curry purchase. It was a culmination of things and I don't expect hub to pick up on this shit. But fuck it. I asked him to pick something up, he made a mistake (well Granny K did and by default it is his mistake) and should have at least said a 'hey sorry babe' comment.

I thought I would buy an onigiri at the shop and give that to Ryu for dinner while I contemplated the universe on 'my drive' - a circuit that goes out past the coast and takes about twenty minutes. I started getting all upset half way though (about mum not curry) and decided, seeing as raining as well, that in bestest most safest interests of beloved third child sitting in back seat that I return home - so I do.

Shou and Marina have been fed. I feed Ryu, bath him and ignore hub. He washes the dishes, scrubs the bench, stops Shou from being hit by the inbred electrician in his van, stops both kids from falling in the river, bathes them and cleans the shite from their ears...

Ryu seriously DOES NOT MOVE from this position for a good five minutes. There is another pic but hub made me promise I wouldn't post one with his tum in it...
Sorry hub - but that's pay back for being a prick.

When  I read what I have just written back it doesn't seem like such a big deal but at the time it felt a bit major - by the time I got home from my drive I was a bit more in focus. Hub didn't notice I had been crying and I couldn't be assed going into speal about why I was really upset... Christ, if I really wanted a partner that understood what I did I would be a fuckin lesbian.

And the cute stuff...

Shou found Marina's angel wings.

Ryu playing peek a boo with the new pink plastic cat food tray we bought today.

Trying to escape from daddy at lunch.

when I try and escape from daddy I have a suitcase :)

And that's the end of the ramble. Sorry.



Sara said...


Sounds like you are having a rough day :/ Big hugs... that is so hard with the issues with your mum looming about and then.. a bit of ass-holery from hub didn't help.

In a perfect world there would be an apology and all would be done.. but sadly not so much.

I've been contemplating suitcase and baby and out the door far too many times than I'd even like to admit lately.

But I probably.. most likely.. definetly won't... sure makes for some interesting blogging though.

Loved the angel Shou picture btw... adorable!! And Ryu likes having his ears cleaned?!?!?! Sakura screams like we are trying to fish her brain out for mummification.

Anyways genki dashite~~~ <3

Anonymous said...

Dear GW
I so wish I could be there to ssshhh-you while you weep with the fear (and frustration) at what is happening to your Mum as well as in your home life. All I can do is send warm hugs.
No being sorry about the long jumble. It's very allowable.
I'd like to say more but I don't know how to.
The pics!! I looooooove them.
Yea, I was going to suggest a nasty little way of getting a tad of revenge re the curry but on second thoughts I'd better not.
I hope that Sunday is a better day for you.

Margaret M

Adam W said...

I'm assuming your hub isn't the type that likes to talk about feelings? Hate to break it to you, but that happens in homo relationships too. Hahaha.

On a serious note - do you have a really, really good friend in Japan that you can tell everything to? If you do, you should have an entire day with just that friend. No kids, not twat-esque husband, and no decrepit MIL. Just you and that friend having a good time and having heartfelt conversations. Those days are practically what saved my sanity during my mom's twelve heart surgeries. Albeit, I don't have kids or a husband, so it was easier for me to get away, but I'm sure the Chub Hub won't mind a day.

I'm off to work, but I'll be sending you good vibes (since I'll be wired on coffee) from sunny (fucking hot) California.

oobip said...

ahh . I'm sorry this is happening to your mum and your family. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate with your mum and your family at the moment

Can you tell your hubby that you need some time to mull things over? Can you escape for the day?

take care compassion and peace
from around the world

Oyomesan said...

Yes, yes - you need time out with a good friend to let it all out...we are all here for you but we can't hug you!!_

my security word here is methyddl...which is maybe something Michael Jackson's doctor can give you by the bucketload!

Oyomesan said...

Sorry to put this note here...but I can't see how to send you a message:

Do you get a lot of spam comments from a Chinese spammer? Or is there a shaddowy Chinese spam machine as a Follower on your blog?
I get Chinese spam comments about once a day - and yesterday it came in just after your comment and actually had the Sender name of Flammyfabulous (?) which sounded a lot like your dieting blog etc....

Of course all these blogs and followers are interlinked in a spammer's nobody is to blame...and sounds like you have a million MORE important things to worry about....

but just wondering!!!


Gaijin Wife said...

oyomesan - I commented on your post when I was still logged in as flummytofabulous and not gaijinwife. Didn't use any Chinese but :)

Will check my followers and see if have any shady Chinese spam wannabes.

Bryn said...

Major hugs to GW! One good, hard kick to the nads for Hub (well, maybe two just for being the same gender as my own prick husband!)

You were completely right, he was completely WRONG! And your reaction was perfectly normal. In the end, looks like he agreed what with all the kid and bench scrubbing.

Hope the rest of your weekend is uneventful, even if it means no exciting blog posts! LOL