Saturday, 31 July 2010


OH MY GOD - I have just walked to the toastie pie machine and back and NOT winced in pain.  Must be the beer I tell ya.

I did managed day three of the 30 day shred today. AND the third day in a row I have done the hour walk to kinder to drop the kids off.  As I was pushing play on the DVD player this morning I was thinking that there was no way I would be finishing it but may as well humor self be trying.  And I finished. Wahoo.

I am still in pain but I think it may not be as bad as the first day! Perhaps my body is figuring out how to move as to avoid such pain. I have a feeling I even walked down the stairs normally today - but then there was a delivery man waiting at the bottom of the stairs (not outside the door like in a normal country - he had opened the door as he called out 'parcel' ) so I really had to pull all my strengths together.

I read some great SHRED success stories. One woman lost 10kg in 30days. She was being good eating wise too though and that is my downfall.  Actually, eating fine. Drinking bad. Eating after Drinking - down the fuckin gurgler.

But enough about the Shred - if I don't lose weight at least I will have the leg muscles enough to kick the ass of my sorry hub next time he frequents the silver balls!!

I forgot to mention last night that we chopped Marina's hair...

who would have thought two year old girls could have double chins? I chopped about ten cm off the back and the fringe obviously - cause that was fucked up and chopped far too high but nevermind. Hub LOVED it!! He gave a few token chops and then just kept saying how cute she looked - and I admit she looks a lot more 'little girl' like than her mullet before. Granny K of course couldn't sit still knowing that Marina had had an at-home cut without her input. She got a few snips in.

This was on the way to kinder this morning. Save ourselves $50 by doing the home-job haircut!!

When I came back from picking the kids up from kinder granny K asked Marina what the teachers said about her hair. I said that they said it looked nice. She said that it would have looked a lot nicer if she had had scissor control from the start. Silly bitch. What NOT to say.

Oh, and the damn stag beetles...

Hub went out this morning and got ANOTHER ONE - thanks for that.

The one on the left is plastic and the one on the right - is the real man ignoring the pretend plastic.

And, just because we need cute baby pics...

This is Ryu doing the Macarena. And if you don't know what that is then you are too young.

Have just called hub and he is at the nijiikai (after party) in the next town over and the skanky hoe is dropping him off.

Time to sign off.


Friday, 30 July 2010

Bloody Sore

Literally EVERY muscle in my body aches right now. I did Billy and his damn boot camp for a week and while yes, I worked up more of a sweat I never physically felt this broken. And I have only done two days. TWO DAYS people and every thing I do - standing, sitting, going to the loo, putting the kids in the bath (seriously sore - like doing an extended squat trying to lower self into bath holding baby without falling over) is an effort. I feel like a 38 week pregnant vestling - which of course would be miracle of god but still. I even found myself saying 'yoisho' at the exact same time as Granny K this arvo - as we both got out of the car after running her round for a few errands.

I was going to wait and see how long it took for hub to notice the weight loss but he busted me when I winced while Shou was giving my a cuddle (read as jumping on my tummy and legs). He laughed and then told me not to have any beer or I'd never see any results.

Wise words (says she, sipping one of the bottles of Asahi that arrived on doorstep as if gift from god this afternoon - from temple lady next door. She gives us a 'summer gift' every year) Actually just re-read that - am not sipping from bottle. Am pouring, very skinny lady-like, into long stemmed wine glass.

So, did I mention that I am sore? I was going to flag it today and perhaps do it every second day. I then had an epiphany as walking kids to kinder - DVD is not called 'Every Second Day Shred' - which means.... you have to do the bastard for 30 straight days. And so, after walking for an hour, I followed Jullian Michaels, and then proceeded to get down on my hands and knees and wax the fricken floors - seeing as was needing shower anyway. Who the fuck cares about the floors? Nobody in this house apart from me it would seem.

And since cleaning them Shou has spilt half a grape jelly, Marina half a strawberry yoghurt (but to her credit she tried to lick it up), Ryu milk and dinner, and me - well I sprayed about a half a can on first a bee and then a spider. The bee I tried to take a photo of. Seriously, the stingy bit was FOUR cm long!! At first I thought it was a bloody tombo - dragonfly. And then there was a very large (boardering on conception of fourth baby type large) spider upstairs. I noticed it after putting Marina to bed. Sprayed the shit out of it and it is all curled up waiting to be disposed of. I thought hub might have noticed it by now - but alas, the big black spider at the top of the stairs is as invisible to him as the butter in the fridge. Where? Where? Where? Honey - we need some more butter.

Hub has a wedding tomorrow - great. That means no sushi, no date with Ryu and hub, and me and the kids on our own tomorrow evening. He has a wannabe firemen's training thing on Sunday morning. I plan on taking Shou (and Ryu) to go see them practice using their hose... as in spurting water (colored I think) out of the hose and into the river.

Hub has however taken Tuesday off so we are leaving two kids in paid childcare and one with Granny K and skiving off to the movies, lunch and the game center no doubt.

In other news....

I spoke to my sister and had a bit of a shite day after finding out mum had taken a fall while walking down to town - As supposedly happens after radiotherapy she is going a tad downhill before getting a bit better. The first few weeks were fine but then she had a few days of losing her balance and her peripheral vision going a bit up the fuck. I spoke to her yesterday though and she was just mum. Good chat. Still a bit sad though that this has to be happening to her. Scary days. She is off for four or five days with her sisters and girlfriends to Noosa. I hope she has a great time.

Right, well I really better get to bed. No meetings happening tonight though. I am far too sore and if the hub felt so inclined he would have to liquor me up and then take me in my sleep.


Thursday, 29 July 2010

Shred it

So I did my first day of The 30 Day Shred today - and I am completely knocked over. I was quietly thinking it wouldn't be so bad - after all. There are three levels so how hard could level one be?? I got through almost all of the 40 minutes of Billy and his Boot Camp - level 1, and to me the 30 Day Shred didn't 'sound' so bad.

Fuck me. I am SORE. Mainly in my legs - my thighs in particular. I will try and make it through again tomorrow but may well be in so much pain can't lift fingers to type to tell the tale. The good thing I think is the presenter - Julliane I think. There are no group hugs, it's all very real AND there is a lot of old school stuff so no new fancy moves to learn. The two other girls in the dvd aren't super skinny girls on speed. They are very normal - albeit quite tall. The 3 minutes of strengthening / two minutes of card / one minute of abs is good - it  gives you exact times and you know that if you get through the next two minutes of star-jumps you will be on the floor doing abs.

Anyway, enough about the Shred.

Shou had his jab today. I held off telling him like last time so when I went to pick him up he thought we were going home :( I felt bad but we had talk in the car and all and all he was really good - although he did scream when the needle went in. The girl before him didn't even whimper. Very impressed. The room, if at all possible, was filled with more lunatic four year old boys than last time. Turns out a lot of kids were sick last time and couldn't do it so had their first one today. Was craziness. Being a mother of three I was swaying more towards the 'supervise and step in if anybody is going to get hurt' category as opposed to a couple of the mothers who seriously looked gobsmacked at the behavior of a room full of boys. One boy even spent the WHOLE time waiting (40 minutes) on his mother's lap - which leads me to think she fed him sedatives for lunch.

Well, hub is watching an old school Bruce Lee film with lots of woos and yahoos and the like. Might go find me some vegemite and see if it feels like getting down with some butter on some toast. - just to de-shred myself after the first day.


Wednesday, 28 July 2010

New Camera. Hmmmmmm.

Must admit I'm not a huge fan straight off of my aim and shoot Canon Power Shot. I was so used to my Nikkon that this will take some getting used to.

My first pics - of nothing in particular (seriously) as just trying to see if pressing the on button and then pressing the other button meant I had taken a picture - obviously didn't read the manual but fuck, it's a digital camera for retards. I should be able to sort it out.

the very very first shot. Batteries obviously charged. Everything works.
Coming down the stairs - in motion. Woooooo. My previous camera wouldn't have handled taking a movement shot this clearly. OK, so slightly impressed. Tis vacuum cleaner. VACUUM CLEANER. NOT big white snake.
Just waking up from nap in Shou's room where he slept for TWO HOURS - AFTER a THREE HOUR sleep this morning. Tis a wonder the boy can still sleep at night. He is either going through a mammoth growth spurt or he has turned into sleep meister and I will be pouring buckets of cold water over him when he is fifteen to make sure he gets out of bed in time for dinner.
Check out those eyelashes. That should be illegal.

Other than the new camera .... hmmmm.... 30 day shred??? anyone done it and skinnied themselves to tell the tale?

Both the kids managed to escape the temp nazis at kindy today and were, quite disbelievingly, well behaved when I went to pick them up, feed them, bath them and put them to bed! Actually hub was home in time to put Shou to bed and that went without drama - although I did have to promise to make Shou some pretend money for the ramen shop he is opening tomorrow, along side the kakigori shop, and also to put proper wheels (that go round) on the concrete mixer we made out of a milk carton, three yogurt pottles, a pair of chopsticks and a toilet roll this evening.

And that was about as exciting as the day got here today. Tomorrow should prove more eventful with Shou having his second Japanese encephalitis jab. Fun and games.

Right, off to search some more Auckland accommodation for trip home. Only there for three nights but we arrive early Monday morning - and, you know, what with having three small children and just coming off a 12 hour flight, preceded by 6 hours in transit and a 1 and a half hour flight from Japan, preceded by 3 hours in the car - and me thinks we need to be able to check straight in to motel and not faff round in trendy cafe having lattes waiting for standard 1pm checkin time.

So, the name of the game is, find a motel that will let us check in at 10am and NOT charge us for a whole night. Have sent screeds of emails. Just need one nice person to say they would love to send shuttle to pick us up at 10am. I can do this. Tis the last thing I need booked.

Off to it.


Tuesday, 27 July 2010

Not Losing Another One

Fuck it - I just lost out on a translation. 31 minutes too late. I have now just changed the settings on my gmail account so new mails get sent to my phone. I am not missing out on any more of the damn pie. I NEED some more fuckin pie.

Must calm down. Was only about 300 dollars worth but that would have been nearly two nights accommodation during trip home. Humph. It's hard, cause like most people in similar position (freelance translating with small children) I have to run the whole scenario in my head before I say yes to work. Needed to be in by Thursday afternoon. OK, that means x amount of pages during the day tomorrow while Ryu is sleeping, x amount tomorrow night after the kids are in bed and x amount on Thursday morning before I take Shou to get his vaccination. I go through it all, I think OK, I can handle that, and then I say yes. And then some slimy fucker snakes it. OK, so not that bad - especially as slimy fucker could be one of two friends who also get same emails and both need money just as much as me :) BUT, if it's anyone else then bugger right off.

Anyway, there will be more translations I know. I just need some NOW to make me feel better about getting us nearly 14 thousand dollars in debt for trip home in October. Seriously. That is how much it is going to cost for five of us on the plane (four seats), rent a cars and ten nights accommodation, not to mention food and miscellaneous shopping items - ahem.

But despite the last five minutes, today was very pleasant - not a word I use often I know. Ryu is like some crackhead on sleeping pills - either awake and laughing his head off or zonked in his pit. It was an early start to the day with Shou coming in at quarter to five, Marina not long after and us three down stairs and in the kitchen, collecting a now awake Ryu on the way, by ten to six. I shouldn't really say early as that implies earlier than usual when really this is standard these days.

The kids were eating vegemite on toast, fruit and yoghurt and I was snorting back coffee straight from the jar when hub rocked on down forty minutes later. I had a mini meltdown when Shou and Marina tried to pump up the bicycle wheels and got black hands - so then decided to use the hose to clean themselves off but other than that no fuss. We walked to kinder which was nice as last week I didn't walk once I don't think. Billy and his bloody boot camp are collecting dust and I need to resurrect them before they fall down unforgotten behind the Carebears and the Smurfs.

My friend and I were going to take our babies to the town weekly play group but it was out for the summer so we, plus another friend, who is chairwoman of said play group, congregated here - which meant mad cleaning rush before they turned up at half ten. They left at lunch, Ryu went back down for an afternoon nap and I joined him for an hour - nice.

Had a chat to my sister, had English, picked the kids up, did the dinner thing, did the bath thing - OK, so bit of meltdown during bath-time as I was, as you do when your husband is out on the lash or working overtime (hub is doing former tonight), putting all three kids in the bath at the same time. Shou was in the bath, as was Marina -who had just done crap in undies, thankfully not on tatami or genkan mat as pretty pink undies not going to contain wee/poo combination. Ryu was getting his clothes taken off him in the bathroom by a naked me when Shou poured a BUCKET of COLD water over my head.

Not cool son. Mummy will remember this until your are 54 - in which case she will be 84 and perhaps only just starting to forget such antics. That AND you aren't getting any pocket money until you are ten.

Ryu got cleaned and passed out to Granny K without 'warming up in the bath in the middle of summer' - which of course, according to THE oracle, means he will catch a cold. Fuck it. I have been to the doctors so many times over the last week what's another trip? Marina got out followed by Shou. Things calmed down a bit and all children were present, accounted for, and asleep by 8:20pm.

Hub is out drinking with his office and being brought home by the scandalous cheating skanky hoe from his office. I am having a chuhai and now, thanks to blog therapy, a little bit calmer about the translation that wasn't.

Tomorrow is Wednesday (just in case you were having trouble there) and hub said he was going to take the day off. But he also said something about next week so we could pawn the baby off to Granny K and go watch a movie - the new Angelina one that comes out here on Saturday. Haven't seen movie in over a year I don't think.

Oh, and camera got sent today so new pics coming to your screen soon.


Monday, 26 July 2010

temp nazis back in action

So yesterday's misunderstanding led to a few beverages, led to a late night international relations meeting, led to a revelation...

I don't get completely starkers for shagging very often anymore. How sad! I found myself fully de-clothed last night and felt a bit naked - quite surprisingly. Back in the day I would ride the stallion naked, slither and wriggle and try and look all fantastic. Post marriage and more likely, post three babies, I find myself quite often de-panted but not de-topped. That said though, there would be more likelihood that I would be fully naked over hub (not me actually naked 'over' him - as opposed to  / compared to / in comparison to / instead of ?? OK you know what I mean) In winter however, I do have to draw the line at socks. No go.

And that's enough about my state of dress during shag session.

Very productive morning while Ryu slept - cleaned, hung out washing, got packages ready to take to post office and then found online typing game kind of like tetras that meant I probably spent more time doing that than I would have on facebook! I also did things like download SKYPE - finally AND buy digital camera from amazon.

I was planning on taking Ryu over to buy one at the shop but the kindy rang at half ten - Marina had a temp of 38.5 and could I come get here. Fuck it. Of course I can, she's my little angel but I HAVE to get this stuff in the post. So I leave Ryu with Granny K and go to pick Marina up via the post office - where I get the good woman, who knows that in order to get to NZ she needs to push the Oceania button first - but fuck she was being pedantic today. Lining the receipts up and putting my change on the little change tray in order of biggest to smallest coins. I bet she's the kind of person her folds the end of the toilet paper into a triangle every time she goes to the loo.

Twenty minutes later I arrive at the kinder and Marina is in the middle of lunch - fine by the way, chomping back her curry and rice with cool pads under her armpits and on her forehead. I take my 'sick' child home and  take her temperature (because I swear the teachers have thermometers that a set a degree higher) and low and behold it is only 37.5. After her almost non existent afternoon nap it is a bog standard 36.6.  And to prove how so not sick she was - she was being a complete bitch all afternoon and didn't listen to ONE WORD I said. Awesome. Can't wait till she cranks herself out of this stage because it is painful.

She packed an absolute mental when the grasshopper she was holding captive in her bug box escaped through the open door and promptly got eaten by the cat. Must say though that she has become expert,in one afternoon, at holding grasshoppers. I had to catch them - but that didn't involve touching them.

Speaking of the cat - the smart sneaky fucker. On three separate accounts this morning I would turn round and find her sitting inside looking at me. It was very freaky - especially as I checked all the downstairs doors and windows and they were shut. SO, acrobatic little feline must have been climbing up the screen door, onto the deck rafters, onto the roof and in through the very small open window by the wash basin upstairs - only window in house open without a screen door.

Oh, and newly purchased online digital camera should arrive by Thursday. Wahoo - I so went to get a pic of those stag beetles.

And I am so only half joking.

Nighty night.


Sunday, 25 July 2010


Marina had a loads better night last night and lasted till morning without waking up - in her own bed - bashing the sides of her bed and not me - hallelujah.

Ryu slept.

Hub slept.

and Shou woke up at 4am. For the love of fuckin god son. 4am - it was still dark and I was not a happy mummy. Trying to stay quiet in our room until at least half five he decided to see how much noise the tissue box makes when you put it up against the fan.

Fuckin shitloads.

Downstairs at five with Shou, and now Marina. Hub doesn't come down till nearly seven, during which time I have mad the executive decision that in fact I am going to take my beautiful baby and head to Rachel's for her Gion Matsuri in Nakatsu.

I run this past hub at about eight - we have a full conversation about it, or so I think.

I head off after Ryu's morning nap and we get to Rachel's (over an hour away) at about half eleven.

At half twelve I get an email from hub - an angry one. What the fuck was I doing and why aren't we home for lunch.




And so I send a reply to the same effect.  But with a few more honeys and, really I have no idea sweet pea. - cause seriously I don't. Somewhere our wires have crossed.

So I leave Rachel's at about two - after a bit of a catch up with the girls and meeting lots of people and seeing some matsuri floats and ten year old geisha girl dancing on float with pissed old men.  All good.

Get home and hub is fine and so I broach the angry email - he thought I had said I was going to get some unagi (eel) for dinner, come all the way home again AND THEN go to Rachels - in the evening.

Having lived in this fair country for over ten years I now know what the word for evening is and I did not use it once in any of our conversing conversations before I left today. My take on it was that I was going to the get together and would pick eel up for dinner on the way home and be home by three - I even used like numbers and pm and shit - I even said it twice. I'm pretty sure I even said this that and the other to reiterate that I would be leaving the man for over three hours with Shou and Marina.

Anyhoo, all fine and we have agreed to agree that complete misunderstanding - have agreed over asahi as of course best beverage known to man kind for purpose of negotiation and agreeing upon shit that really male should be apologizing for.

Kids are now asleep of course - unfortunately the SIX kabutomushi (stag beetles) that Shou and hub have caught over the last two days are just starting to fire up for the night. They are pretty heinous and if I had the battery to my camera I would take a pic for you. A quick look in my crystal ball and me sees a trip to K's denki for a new camera in my very immediate future - perhaps even tomorrow. Any suggestions? Not too pricey but - and I'm not a camera buff so snap away and no faffing around with lenses is fine.

Nighty night.


Saturday, 24 July 2010

No Sleep and Typhoons

Last night was pretty horrendous. Not because of hub - he came home fine from work and nothing else was said after the email. Happy families - he did however take Ryu's screw on to the dining table high chair and scrub it spotless AND clean the bathroom - all last night after I had gone to bed with a sick Marina at 8pm. I could hear him banging around and came half way down the stairs to see what racket it was that was going to wake two sleeping and one coughing child? I could tell from the sounds though that he was scrubbing the bath and I retreated.

Marina slept in our bed with me last night and she is the WORST sleeper in the history of two year old girl sleepers. My god father. I haven't slept in the same bed with her since those hospital visits in her first year - when she was still too little to turn a full 360 degrees ten times over during the night. She coughed herself to a vomit once - but didn't wake up. I caught it in time and she only got the floor but then proceeded to want to lie in it - which I caught in time and got her back into bed, with her head on the cold pack pillow. Her cough was so bad that I couldn't leave her on her own. She had a nose running a marathon as well and would wake up every hour for a tissue - god bless the toddlers that can blow their own nose. We are trying but to no avail. She just does the noise and moves her shoulders.

So all in all I got about as much sleep as a woman in labour - zilch. Marina got more as half the time her own coughing didn't wake her up. And it was HOT HOT bloody hot. And we have lost the remote for the aircon in our room so just had the fan on. God, I need to find that remote. Perhaps is in same place as camera battery that has mysteriously disappeared from the re-charger since yesterday. Ryu is for ever playing with it and the telephone down beside the couch so I got on all fours and tried to figure out where he would crawl off with it.

Marina seemed to be better today. Not good enough for kinder so Shou went off on his own. Hub and Granny K and the kids did some fireworks before bed. I was a part of the proceedings but got too bloody angry at the lack of safety (seriously, Shou was doing a sparkler about 10cm away from a bag full of bloody unlit fireworks). I got a few bloody ground rules instated and then had to retreat inside with a glass of wine as too bloody stressful. Everyone fine. All limbs accounted for.

Granny K was in the veggie patch today and came across a bee hive that had been made right down near the ground - about five cm up from the ground in a huge field of weeds. She just about chopped it in half which would have been nasty. Hmmmmm.

Anyway, why I am posting this is, is that according to Kunimi (and other parts??) folklore - when bees/wasps make their hives low to the ground it means a bad typhoon is coming. We haven't had a really bad typhoon for about ten years. We get them every year - about 15 but only a handful that warrant any real preparation - and perhaps only one or two a year the require hub to be on standby as part of the wannabe firebrigade at the town office.

Guess I'll be re-packing our emergency pack over the next couple of weeks. If I didn't and we got a bad typhoon that meant we had to evacuate (to the hall across the road) I would could never forge myself  if our pack wasn't kitted out. The bees told us so.


Friday, 23 July 2010

Catastrophe Avoided

Hub had a major meltdown this morning....

We were all up by 6 and doing the normal stuff. I took Marina's temperature - or rather gave her the thermometer. The kids at their kinder learn to take their own temperature before they can walk me thinks. It was nearly 38 so I decided that OK, would take her to doctors as her middle of the night cough seems to have picked up a bit lately too.

Once I had decided I was going to do the trip to the clinic I got into action - really need to leave the house by half seven to get seen by the doctor any time before ten (on a normal day at least - not like yesterday when was freakishly empty). All of a sudden I have a list of things going round and round in my head about what needs to happen for us to get out the door that fast. I usually take the kids to kinder around that time anyway but with a road trip of an hour each way with Marina and Ryu I need to get more shit together. I also am thinking right, washing needs to done and hung out before  I leave or else it wont happen till lunch time. All that little shit that I swear to god never even register for men. Hub just thinks that because I haven't got a translation on at the moment and because I haven't got specific plans for the morning then everything is OK.

It is OK. I am and did take her to the doctors but that doesn't mean I don't think about all this shit - and unfortunately I usually think about this shit out loud and in the same tone of voice I am using in my head.

Right, fuck it is there any more washing anywhere, machine needs to go on RIGHT NOW.
Shou, don't throw your spoon at the cat bring it to me, WITH your yoghurt pottle so I can wash it RIGHT NOW.
Ryuuuuuuuu, Ryuuuuuuuuuuuu. Where the fuck's the baby.
Oh there you are, playing with a can of fly spray in Granny's room. Awesome.

Now men don't need to get verbal diarrhoea. They can say it all in their heads - or rather they don't because this kind of trivial shit like putting the washing machine on, saving the cat from being decapitated by an anpanman spoon and wondering where the baby is, doesn't even cross their minds.

So, hub is listening to me going on for a good forty minutes and then he loses it - big time. We have quite a lot of arguments but rarely does he get really really angry - shaking and eyes popping out of head angry. But he did this morning.

He let it rip. He sees him taking Shou to kinder as helping me - and that I should be eternally grateful. I see it as helping me because I have to leave to take Marina to the doctors and while I could drop Shou off on the way it makes more sense for hub to take him. I don't think I should be eternally grateful. It's not like it makes hub late for work.

He sees my not asking Granny K to look after Ryu for three plus hours so I can just take Marina is me being selfish?? I see it as not using her for something that isn't a big deal. The Marina and Ryu combination is the easiest combination out of the three kids. Taking Ryu with us isn't going to make life that much harder. It would make Granny K's a lot harder leaving him with her for that long when all she has on the brain at the moment is beans beans and planting more beans. Hub thinks that because he suggested I ask Granny K, and because I said I was fine taking them both, that that is me being selfish and making everything revolve around me.

Shou was in the middle of taking his temperature (have to write it in his notebook every day during pool swimming season) when hub said right Shou, let's go and practically pulled him out the door. I protested that it was already the third time Shou was taking it (he kept moving round and getting errors on the thermometer) and that he only need to wait another thirty seconds. He sees this as again me thinking only about me and not him who is the one taking Shou to kinder. I don't even get this. I tried to explain that when I go pick Shou up today I will be the one that the teachers talk to about having his temperature written down.

Frustration, frustration. I can't even really try and reason with him when he is that angry. I get upset and, while I held off on the tears,  I get pissed off that I can't say what I want to how I want to. Talking, shouting or screaming to him in English at these times only makes matters worse.

Anyhoo, he took Shou and Marina, Ryu and I went to the doctors. Got some stronger drugs this time and stopped to get some meat for curry tonight and didn't make it home till half eleven. Lunch and bed - Ryu is asleep now and Marina hopefully on her way.

I sucked it up and sent an apology email to hub during his lunch break...

subject: Sorry
message: 今朝のことごめんなさい。たしかに自分中心でやって行こうとする時は多すぎる。もうちょっと家族皆のことを考えてやって行きます。Hubが毎日一生懸命働いて、機嫌悪い奥さんが待っている家に帰って大変やろうと分かってます。もうちょっと機嫌のいい奥さん、ママでいますように頑張ります(ハートマーク)
Sorry about this morning, There are definitely too many times when I do focus on me more than anyone else. I will sort my shit out and try and think more about you lot in the future. I understand that it must be hard for you, working hard everyday to bring home the bacon and having to come home to a bitchy wife. I'll try harder to not be such a bitchy wife and mummy. (Heart emoticon)

Something must have worked cause I just got back a reply...

subject: RE: sorry
message: ゴメン、僕も言い過ぎましたm(__)m。これからもよろしくsorry, I was a bit out of line too. Let's sort it out and work harder at happy families and shag lots - OK so it didn't say that exactly but it did have a moving picto-dude blowing a kiss.

I don't think the mornings argument was particularly my fault but I can see that he would be getting a bit fucked off at all my whinging - which wasn't really directed at anyone in particular. I really need to stop thinking out loud all the time. So anyway, catastrophe avoided. Time to stop being in a strop all the time.

And in other news - I have just deactivated my Facebook account. Spending far too much time on the computer and something had to give. Don't want it to be the blog so it had to be FB. I am giving myself a 40 minute a day computer limit.

Right, Marina is downstairs now after obviously not getting to sleep. This will mean she is asleep by half six - and completely uncooperative for the two hours before that!


Thursday, 22 July 2010

Thermometer Nazis

The teachers continued to be thermometer nazis today and I swear each teacher gets issued with their own engraved thermometer upon enrollment.

Both Shou and Marina were OK (in my opinion) to be offloaded to paid child care for the day. Shou had no temperature and while Marina had a low temp of 37.2, it wasn't enough to warrant me keeping her home. When I dropped them off I admitted that Marina had a slight temperature (they take their temperatures before 9am so would have realized anyway) and said that IF it got higher I would take her home with me after my English less on there - finishing at half ten.

Finished the lesson and Marina was in fine spirits so I didn't say anything and neither did her teacher. I left.

At half three the phone rings and whadda ya know Marina has a temperature. 38.4 so a bit higher. The teacher made a comment about how she thought I was going to take Marina home with me at half ten and then I didn't  and well now her temp is higher. Fuck off and stick that thermometer up your bumholeyole. I know what I said. I have learnt to not doubt my Japanese anymore. I said it right. You understood.  They KNOW I teach English on Thursday afternoons - I pick the kids up at half five and they are usually the last kids there. This happens every Tuesday and Thursday.

As it happened, we are in school holidays and my Thursday girls have opted for no English over the holidays. But the kinder teachers wouldn't have been passed on this information so fast - surely. I wonder if they ring the 'full time mothers' as much as they ring me - a SAHM, whose fairly busy with other shit but obviously spending most of day faffing round waiting to pick kids up from kinder.

Anyway, I tell the teacher I will be there to pick the two of them up as soon as I can - to which she answers that Shou is fine and it's only Marina - to which I say, soooo, you want me to come pick Marina up and then in forty minutes come back and pick Shou up?? Hellllooooo.

I say I will be there as soon as I can and then I hang up.

I proceed to make dinner and vacuum and go to pick the kids up forty minutes later. Both are running round screaming and wanting to hunt for crabs - albeit with Marina with a cold pad stuck to her forehead. She looks reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaly sick.


She ate all her dinner. She told me to bugger off and called me a dickhead on at least twelve separate occasions. She swung the cat round her head.

By it's tail.

She is sooooooooooo fine.

She had some cough meddy before bed and I put a new gel pad on her forehead upon her insistence. She  went to sleep and hasn't woken up yet.

Ditto Shou, ditto Ryu, ditto the rest of us.

OK, so obviously I can type in my sleep.

Hub suggested, before heading upstairs, that I take Marina to the doctors tomorrow. Man, if the doctors was like a ten minute drive away I would be so OK with this but it isn't. It is a good three hour round trip. I'll see how hot she is when she wakes up.


I'm off to break into the kinder to steal all the thermometers.


Wednesday, 21 July 2010

Warts & All

About the same time the cat arrived Shou got these little bumps on his hand. They spread and he got more and now he has about fifteen on each hand and some on his elbow. My first thought was flees but then we got the cat some drugs for that, she got an injection and nobody else has them. My second thought was warts and started Dr. googling that yesterday.

When I went to pick Shou up yesterday the teachers TOLD ME it was warts and that Shou was not allowed in the pool with the other kids until they were gone, which basically means to get them checked out asap as too bloody hot to not be allowed in the pool.

Ryu also needed more drugs for his smokers cough which is about 80 percent better but unfortunately it's that last 20 percent that Granny and hub give me assholes about. SO, I had to venture to two different clinics with my two boys. The dermatology clinic opens at nine but I presumed that, like most of the clinics and hospitals in our area, that it would open up at half eight for people to sign up. The place has a booking system and seeing as I hadn't booked I wanted to get there first up to gaijin fat ass my way in front of the vestlings getting there veins checked or whatever.

Fuckin place doesn't open it's doors until two minutes to nine. Shite, bugger fuck. I have just driven an hour and have a tired, as cranky as possible with Ryu, baby and a restless four year old. I had told myself  trying to get to two clinics AND getting Shou back to kindy in time for lunch (half eleven) was going to require some duct tape, a swiss army knife and perhaps even McGyver himself - tank-top and all.

The doors open, I am forth in and my ticket says 9:15. Fuckin unbelievable. Shou wasn't too excited about seeing the doctor as he thought he was getting an injection - thanks to the teachers at his kindy telling him that warts required a needle to pop them to drain them and then getting covered in goo to dry them up. Fortunately our exam room had a swivel chair - provided a good eight minutes of entertainment for Ryu and Shou while waiting for vesting doctor to come in with his humungous magnifying glass to check out Shou's thingies.

Which, by the way, are not warts, but from spending too much time looking for crabs, insects and frogs in the paddies and surrounding water runoff drains and long grass. No needles. He got two types of cream and off we went. Painless. For him and for me.

Next stop - Ryu's doctor. Would you know that the place is practically empty. Unheard of. It would appear that the gods of Japanese clinics was smiling on us this morning. Got Ryu's meddy, made a wee stop at the toy shop to get Shou a small 'something' for being so good and then home James.

Rocked up to kindy at 11:15, only to hear the teachers say that Marina had a temperature of 38.0 and could I please take her home. For fucks sake. I had to drop one kid off and pick the other up. Home we went where Marina's temp dropped to 37.5 in space of two minutes and after her nap was almost back to normal. Me thinks waking up at half past fuckin four this morning pushed her over the temperature edge.

Anyway, her and Ryu get fed and put down for a nap where they both sleep for TWO whole hours. Nice. I got to finish Mum's DVD and burn it. Yay - going in the post tomorrow. The kindy rings up at 1pm (seriously they must have me on speed dial) to say the SHOU now has a temperature. They KNOW I teach on Wednesday, and that really, unless one of my children is vomiting blood or limping because they lost a limb, I don't want to hear about it.  It is nap time and so I ask if possibly they could put Shou down for a nap and then ring me IF his temperature went higher.

I cancelled my English class just in bloody case as Granny K not going to agree to look after three kids for an hour - fair enough.

True to form the kindy rings again at 4pm - seriously like only an hour before home time anyway. Shou still has a temperature. It has dropped to 37.8 and he is eating his afternoon tea like a starved madman and seems perfectly fine but can you please come and pick him up early.

I swear the teachers must have some kind of kitty (stash of money for winnings) during the the summer holidays (started today) for the teacher who can get the most kids home early over a given number of days. Shou only has three kids in his class so the teacher obviously has to be a better story teller. OR, I'm just the world's worst mum and I should be running to the kindy with lozengers and a hot water bottle to collect my child.

I picked him at at 4 and we came home and they were all good while I made dinner. Hub was home at 6pm which was nice and everyone is now in peaceful slumber.

Perhaps I should head that way myself.


Tuesday, 20 July 2010

Beef and Beer

I think it reached 36 degrees here today. I guess I'm not actually that hot as do have aircon on but still, the middle of the day was melting. As for the itchy itch... I have my Japanese summer legs. Bitten to bits by carnivorous oversized Japanese mozzies on a mission. Much like my Japanese OL telephone voice (high pitched and hehehe girlie) and my normal voice there is a marked difference in the state of my calves in winter and summer.

Of course this is partially due to beef and beer on the deck last night...
I had the mozzie incense going and sprayed myself senseless with repellent and still, still I got about fifteen bites. But what can you do. I taste good.

And so did the beef yum. And the beer yum. Our first BBQ of the season - outside at least. This BBQ table was the best house warming prezzie we got. I gets a layer of sand and then coals. I discovered today that if you scrub the grill things the next day instead of three months after the event the shit comes off quite easily. Wahoo. Pat self on back for scrubbing the fuckers today instead of October.

Dinner was loads of fun. Both Ryu and Marina were asleep by the time guests arrived which was what you would expect after their afternoon antics. Shou was so damn tired by 6pm that I tried to get him off too but to no avail. After all, it was still bloody daylight out. So he came back downstairs and was a right pain in the ass until he got over the tired hump and turned into a bug freak - him and the 7 year old daughter of our guests went all over the garden (with a torch when it got dark) and hunted bugs. Had a GREAT time, and for the most part let the adults feast in peace. Armen.

Our guest had offered to bring the beverages seeing as we were doing the beer and whatnot. Not one to turn a gift horse wherever or whatever I said OK, Asahi would be great. Cans fine. The last few times we have had people over they have been our generation and a chilly bin of beer  has been fine - yes, I still need to pass it out but there is none of the pouring other people's drinks thing. And then one of the men (ex town office dude who lives down the road) arrived with a case of Asahi bottles. Fuck it. He proceeded to pour about half of these down my throat. God, I hope he was feeling sick today - as I was trying to tip the other half down his throat. Haven't had a 'Japanese' beer drinking thing for bloody ages. Dangerous bastard things that they are.

Guests were off by half nine and Shou was asleep about ten minutes later. Hub and I did a bit of the cleaning away and then had a beer on the deck - lovely.

Hub has a rough week this week. They sent tax shite of some sort off last week and this week are expecting backlash phone calls. He warned me that he would be worse than a sorority of girls with their periods.

But, he also said he would take a day off when it's over so we can go to the movies. My god, haven't been to the movies for ages.

Bloody hell, Granny K has come in to talk funeral money. Bloke from down the paddy has karked it and she wanted hub to go give the funeral money - but he can't. And she got pissed off, cause she has pottery class and 'can't' go. The man is the father of a bloke he does wannabe firebrigade with.

Bloody paddy politics.


Oh, and Ryu and I went for big walk this afternoon. Was too fuckin hot and I have stripped wrists from where my hands stuck out from my flummy fuck off hot ass exercise jacket.  I strapped Ryu into the buggy and I swear to got two seconds later the cat was in there...
She didn't come walking with us but it was so cute. Paws all over Ryu.

Monday, 19 July 2010

The Grassy Knoll

Nearly half one on a public holiday, when everyone is at home, and the house is silent. Amazing. Ryu and Marina and most probably hub are definitely asleep and Shou is pottering upstairs in our room I think. He very rarely has afternoon naps on days he is at home but today he got the hard word - must have an hour of down time upstairs or no yakiniku (BBQ) tonight with guests.

We all went to the beach yesterday. I was quite excited driving there. Tis only five minutes away but I managed to let my hair out and sing a few day at the beach type songs before we got there. We hadn't planed a whole day, just a couple of hours before lunch and more of a hunt for crabs and play on the slide type thing.
Approximately one minute and thirty seven seconds after this photo was taken Shou had complete stripped and run/dived/bombed/fallen head first into the water. It was quite comical and he was loving it but it reinstated that he is a runner - and knows no fear. He got sick of the water and then took off up the beach and over the grassy knoll. The grassy knoll that has a rock bank and a stream at the bottom. Not straight down but still - you can't see the other side and so my mummy alert system tweaked into action, I scream at hub, who has gone to wash sand off the spade and stuff, and am kind of running / jiggling around with Ryu on my hip and trying to coerce Marina into coming with me to find her brother.

He was fine of course. But he is still only four, is completely naked, and has gone sprinting off over a ridge with rocks and water on the other side. I think Hub prefers to take the kids to these kinds of places without me!! I think I prefer hub take the kids to these kinds of places without me too. There was a takoyaki and ice-cream stop before heading home.  A lazy afternoon with the paddling pool out and the new hose that Shou and I went to purchase cause the old one is completely fucked and Granny K just keeps twisting more bits of wire around the hose and using masking tape. There were several obscenities  as i spent ten minutes untwisting ten year old bits of wire. We put the paddling pool at the bottom of the slide and let the fun begins. Had my fat ass fit on the adventure playground slide I may have been tempted to cool off in similar fashion. Hub and I had to be content for a beer on the deck with the baby.

Ryu and his first time in the sand - not quite sure of it at all really. He didn't like the grass at home at first either though.  I tried to get his feet in the water but he kept letting them up in crossed leg yoga position.

We have people coming for  dinner tonight - right at that shit time of night so fingers crossed it isn't complete chaos. The plan is that Marina and Ryu will go to bed just after they arrive - which means I will need to wake both of them up in half an hour or so, and Shou will last as long as he can - which could be a complete disaster seeing as he is now downstairs making a very long dump car out of four milk containers, twelve straws and three sets of disposable chopsticks and half a roll of sellotape.

Perhaps the kids can just all go in the paddling pool later and then I can flag the bath thing and just sort dinner and pjs and teeth - so much more manageable. At least it's only yakiniku so there is minimal preparation, not including the hour each way I spent driving to the supermarket with the nice meat earlier! Hub wanted me to get sazae (those big gross sea snail things), and hotate (um, um, english not coming - shellfish of some sort) and the likes but He has had to settle for beef, lots of beef, pork, chicken wings, sausages, cow horumon (insides - barf) and shrimps. I think that is well fancy enough for guests. There will of course be vegetables to BBQ, beer to drink and shouchu to be poured.

Fuck it - neighbor has just come and rung our doorbell and now Ryu is awake. Ah well, best start sorting out the deck and bringing the washing in.

Has been hot hot hot the past couple of days. Hope everyone is sweating flummy off. I am. But counteracting that by having cold beers in the fridge.


Saturday, 17 July 2010

Most Activity

I was going to do a shag talk ban for a while but I have to share this cause fuck it made me laugh.

Last night hub (and I) had had a couple of drinks when we headed up to bed.

GW: fancy a romp?
hub: wouldn't say no.
GW/hub: romp romp romp shag shag shag
GW: five minutes, that must be a record.
hub: (bit of heavy breathing - as in the after lots of exercise kind not down a phone kind) Most activity.
GW: Most activity what?
hub: Most activity in my capacity (this was obviously said in ENGLISH - I would hope I would get a better translation if he had said it in Japanese)
GW: Most activity in my capacity. giggle giggle snort snort. That's fantastic darling.
hub: dekirukagiri
GW: The best you could?
hub: No.
GW: You did as much as you could?
hub: yes.
GW: OK then. well anyway darling. Jolly good effort.
hub: won't be able to do that in ten years.
GW: nevermind, that's why they invented viagra.
hub: hmmmmmmm, do you reckon the drug store in the next town over sells it?
GW: No, I reckon the online pharmacy does.

I was so scared of not remembering that outstanding phrase that I actually emailed it to myself from the toilet at 11:30pm. What a rockstar.

Anyway, the kids had the kinder summer festival last night. Granny K stepped up to the plate and agreed to watch Ryu for us - and even attempt to put him to bed. A first. And she achieved it. Fantastic news.

The summer festival was from 6 to 8pm. It stopped raining at about half five. The festival started with a lot of Japanese faffing around followed by a quiz which took kids and their parents on a 500m walk around the outskirts of the kindy answering a series of questions at teacher checkpoints. The Shou and daddy team managed them all but the mummy and Marina team got to each checkpoint, waited in line, had a meltdown, looked for crabs, jumped around, screamed a bit and got fireman lifted (over the shoulder) back to the start line with NO stamps.

Following the quiz there were five games - ring toss, goldfish scooping, balloon scooping, bowling and pulling a number for a prize out of a box - what's kujibiki in English?

Daddy showed Shou how to scoop the balloon...
And Shou managed to get one, as did hub and I. So we have three balloons with water in them hanging over the door of the fire and providing a lot of entertainment for Ryu...
Marina got all shy doing the ring toss...
but was well into the (pretend) shrimp fishing (they had real goldfish scooping and shrimp fishing outside)...
At the end there were some fireworks lit by a group of the dads...

It was a good time for the kids although Marina really can't last out and about until 8pm. Little Miss Grouch.

Hub went off to his wedding today, but not before giving the genkan a complete scrubbing over and insisting I wash the curtains. Ryu and I then went off on a shopping mission for new BBQ grill things (ami) for Monday night. Was meant to hunt out a water blaster too but no luck there so got a bottle of save instead.

Picked Shou and Marina up, did the dinner bath and bed thing. Hub came in - not too pissed. In fact hardly pissed at all which was a bit of a waste considering he gave them 30,000. This wedding had a 'flat fee' (kaihi) of 20,000 that everybody attending HAD to pay to cover all the dinner and shit. They don't expect more and therefore guests don't get loaded with gifts to take home like traditionally used to happen. Hub, being a relative and all, put in an extra 10,000 yen into the pretty pink envelope I got for him - that said Happy Wedding in katakana. Happii Ueddinngu !

I was kind of hopping he would come home looking like he'd eaten and drunk 20,000 yen worth.  Instead he came home looking like he'd been drinking slowly but non stop since 11am when he got on the bus and they handed out beer and onigiri.  Hmmmmm, perhaps he did have 20,000 yen worth.

Anyhoo, the house is quiet and I need to watch new episode of Cold Case or CSI or whatever is on at 10pm.


Friday, 16 July 2010

Nearly a video

Figured out how to upload videos - oooohhhh, dangerous. This is the one from last night of Marina and Shou -and me trying to get them to say things to NZ granny, and then them slobbering all over the camera lens. I was going to erase the talking cause a) I sound so kiwi (which is no surprise seeing as from NZ but I always get a shock when I hear myself after living in Japan for so long) b) I'm speaking Japanese to the kids (which doesn't bode well for my 'must speak more English' regime) and c) I sound like a complete dickhead. BUT, nevermind. So within the space of two days you get a proper photo AND my voice. God aren't we lucky. 

I have nearly finished the DVD for mum. Has taken a bit of navigating my way round the i-movies on the new computer. I was getting quite capable with my old MAC but the new one is set out differently and while I am sure it has loads of cool new functions it has meant a bit of faffing round. After the movie I've put a run of photos with music - Life is a highway from Lightening McQueen. What I'm really hoping for is for me to get a recording of Shou singing it as very comical and much more fun as BGM.

I just need to take a few more pics from the kids kindy festival tonight and then hopefully I can get it away on Tuesday. Yay. Now I just need to recruit my sisters and brother for recent pics so I can order a photo book from frogprints, an online photo place that I have used a couple of times before and found to be really good. That will take a bit more organizing but I think it would be great for all of us to have one and for 3,000 yen each it's well worth the hassle.

Hub came home at lunch time so he could go to get his hair chopped for the wedding tomorrow. I had to withdrawer 30,000 yen ($500) for his gift money. Sigh. He has another one at the end of July too. The wedding bus is picking him up at 10:55am tomorrow morning. The ceremony starts at 1pm and the reception at 3pm. Most people only get invited to the reception but it would appear that, as cousins or tenth cousins once removed or whatever he is, he is expected at the ceremony too. The receptions are generally two hours followed by a bit of faffing round, followed by some more faffing round, before faffing round a bit more and finally getting on the bus home, which will have beer and possibly onigiri provided and quite possibly some 'inflight' entertainment by way of karaoke.

Right, just wait till this finishes loading. Need to ring mum. She had a consult with the oncologist today and I think should have been getting her first round of shite chemo meeds to start on Monday.

edit - an hour and a half later - still won't finish uploading vid so guess it's a no go. Damn. Has also started pissing down but the sky doesn't look all rainy and dark so maybe it will pass - it has an hour or kinder games and fireworks will be cancelled :( Perhaps will have to pick up some fireworks when go to get the kids soon so we can do them when the rain stops. Bugger though. The teachers (and me) have been really working the summer festival up. I swear it's the only reason the kids have done anything I've asked this week!!


Edit - thanks to comment by Illahee I uploaded vid onto photobucket and managed to get it here finally. Yay. Now, just ignore my voice and watch silly cute children!! Hub being very romantic (as in hugs and not just hip swivels) so off to bed now.

Thursday, 15 July 2010

I Rub You Annie!

Yesterday did end up being quite shagadellic and therefore today should have started out better but it wasn't to be. It seems that anything about mum gets me either upset or losing my rag at the drop of a hat. I wanted to get the kids recording onto that card so I could sort things out and send them off. I tried I did. You can't really get a two and four year old to practice first though. I was afraid that 'I love you Granny' would turn out as 'I rub you annie' - don't know what I was worried for because the damn card only recorded the last two seconds which as it turned out was Shou saying 'baka' to Marina. Sigh.

I got overly pissed off at my two little angels for not being able to do this little thing that I so wanted to get right. Anyway, there is only so many times you can try and record onto an 800 yen recordable card, so it ended up getting biffed and I was not happy. I asked hub to take the kids to kindy and he helped them with their shoes, got their bags and piled them into the car without a word - me thinks remembering my last melt down about how unsympathetic he was when I got upset about mum.  Bless you hub, thanks for helping out - would have made him almost late for work.

I almost had another meltdown when I got on the scales and realized I am back to where I started, despite the Billy and Bollywood efforts this week. Humph. I got changed and sweated it out to Billy telling me I was 'taking flight'. Had a shower, went to the toilet and got back on the scales and after all that sweating and a loo stop I was in fact 200 grams heavier which was a tae bo kick in the flummy. Ah well. One day people, one day I will be fabulous. And I guarantee that I will still be a ranting whining bitch then too. But hey, at least I'll look better doing it :)

I rang my friend for her birthday. She has the craft blog on my sidebar and is currently doing a giveaway so if you are interested in stationary and crafty shite then check it out - all very cute. I feel bad entering it as would take away from the true crafters out there. I just get an urge every now and again - usually after reading her blog!

I got very productive after lunch and made a whole bunch of flashcards, cut them to size and laminated them. Also got evening class ready and dinner in the nabe (pot). Christ I'm efficient when I set my mind to it. Did I tell you I have a baby? I do actually look after him, play with him, feed him, change his shitty nappies and sing bon jovi songs to him too you know. He is a bit of a sleeping legend though and I can usually get a two hour nap out of him in the morning and a one hour nap in the afternoon. Awesome - especially as some translation work should be coming in soon. Fingers crossed. Need to top up the bank account.

I have finally started a proper Japanese wifey 'hesokuri' - which is a stash of secret money you pilfer away and keep in some ridiculous place like in an envelope sellotaped to the underside of the fridge or something. I have decided to keep one third of the English money - really not a 'stash' so much as a 'in case we need money quickly and can't get to a bank because we live in the middle of fuckin nowhere and cash only gets dispensed from the wall between he hours of 8:45am and 5pm. Does anybody else have a hesokuri and do you keep it in some cool place?

Anyway, best be off. Took video of the kids tonight and need to make it into short dvd for Granny. Is well cute and unfortunately I still don't have a cord to attach video to this computer so can't upload it onto you tube for you all to see.

Nearly the long weekend - bugger it. When you have small children that spend most of their time in paid child care having a long weekend results in cabin fever and meltdowns. Having people over for bbq on the deck on Monday night. Probably the worst night I could have asked for but it was fricken near impossible getting the ex-mayor, the ex-head of the town office and the current head of the planning department to agree to a night. Arrrgggghhhhhh. Tis all for the guy from America - who came over the other day. I suggested I try and get some of the guys who would have stories related to what he wants to research (town planning and merging with the other towns etc) out for beers at the local but then realized quite hard to organize this kind of thing without making sound like would pay for whole beef and beer extravaganza (although in reality this wouldn't happen as the old men would all squabble over who was going to pay). So, decided to do at own house and we would be out of pocket but never mind. Not as much as eating out and hopefully they all bring alcohol or something.

6:30 not ideal time as all our kids will still be awake while trying to slice pumpkin, cut peppers and get the coals hot. Ah well, fun and games really.

Nighty night.


Wednesday, 14 July 2010

Trying to get it on

Warning - Gaijinwife pic to follow. Not doing bollywood or anything exciting, just boring family pic but if you don't want to see it stop reading. I know what it's like. You read a blog and get an image of that person in your head - that no doubt doesn't match the real thing. Nevermind. You have been warned.

As inevitably happens after a down in the dumps post, today was indeed a better day. It did start a bit out of the ordinary. Although, Marina waking up at 4:55am and coming into our room to wake us up and try and coax us downstairs isn't out of the ordinary, and neither is Shou coming in not much later to try and get Marina to jump on the bed and cause general havoc. Absolutely normal.

Hub trying to seduce me while I lean over him trying to shake a cockroach out of the curtains so I can spray the bastard though... heeeelllllooooooooo darling are you still dreaming?? We had the lights off in an attempt to fool the children into going back to sleep until 6am - or at least lie still for Christ's sake. Shou pipes up that he can see a cockroach on the ceiling - which is my worst fuckin nightmare cause the roaches in Japan, as well as being genetically engineered and extremely large, can also fly. Straight into your face if they start up high enough. Shou has of late been into sharing extended versions of tales. Like the snake that was in his bed that magically disappeared when I started looking for it - it jumped out the window according to Shou. So, kind of like the boy that cried wolf I didn't believe the cockroach story.

Yeah, yeah, whatever son, back to sleep with you.

And then I saw it. Creeping down from the ceiling along the top of the wall. I got the spray from on top of the wardrobe and went to battle. I lean over hub. I am not wearing a black lacy bra and crotchless undie set. I am wearing PJs - long cotton PJs. Hub claims that he groped my boob and then tried to give me a wedgie (which is what it felt like but he thinks he was seductively trying to lightly butterfly touch my fanny through my PJs) because 'he thought' I was giving him signals by brushing my boob over his superchinichin - which I might add never happened cause what he thought was my boob was in fact my flummy and by no intention of mine was it swaying seductively over his bits.

So anyway, I batt him off and in doing so lose my moment to get the roach, which goes down behind the bed. Half an hour later, the kids are in Granny K's room, Ryu is still asleep and I sashay upstairs to where hub is, thinking we might start the day with a quickie which hasn't happened for bloody years. After all, really only need a three minute window of opportunity. The moment has passed though and he says tonight my princess tonight.

OK, so all he really says is 'konya yaro' (let's shag tonight), but a girl can dream can't she?

Tonight hub was home early - as in unheard of at half six. The bath and bed thing was all good. We even get Granny K to take a photo of the five of us - the first time ever...

Not so good and extremely grainy but I imagine it will be one of those pics that the kids will all want a copy of when they get older - the only one of all of us kind of thing.  I had taken a couple of pics of just the three kids before this...

So Ryu and Marina are asleep and I have had a talk to Shou (AGAIN) about the pros of going to sleep on is own - like the fact that he will get to sleep in a bunk bed with Marina just as soon as he doesn't need mummy or daddy patting his back and lying with him. He said he would sleep by himself so I leave the door open and go to go downstairs - and when I pass our room hub is lying there. He sees me and 'invites' me over - he actually uses his arms instead of just gyrating his hips. Can't resist the offer of some snuggles so I relent. He is all for it but I insist that Shou will be out of bed and into our room in ten seconds and not even hub can finish an international relations meeting that fast. And whadda you know - Shou comes in. Is well pleased to see mummy and daddy a bit entwined and promptly asks to sleep in the middle and even comments that our feet are still touching!!

So anyway, that was the not quite shaggadelic proceedings today. The day is not over though! I can tell you, there was definitely more international relations meetings going on during my horny housewife days.

Thank you all for the comments yesterday and ideas for mum. I took Ryu to the doctors today and seeing as was all the way over in the big smoke decided to get a birthday prezzie for a friend, a prezzie for a friend who has just had a baby and mum's thing. I had decided that an electronic photo frame would be good but they didn't have battery operated ones so I got  digital photo book (one you do yourself) and a card that you can record onto so I can get Marina and Shou and Ryu screaming 'hey granny, get better soon, we love you' or something similar!! I having been looking at DVDs too - thank you so much for the ideas. Has been great. I remembered she had bought herself a couple of audio books for the last chemo treatment so I got her some fab bling ear phones and need to get a couple of audio books to go with it.

And in other fun news - I took the rice to the rice ATM today. So, for my friend who has always wanted to know what this was....

These are little buildings that stand alone in the middle of nowhere. You take your bag of rice - between 10 and 30kg (husked - as in straight off the harvester) and...
pour the bag of rice into the right hand side
put 200 yen in and push the button (we get normal rice but you can get really white or only 70% de-husked). The machine starts whirling and spits the ready rice out on the right...
you push a pedal with your foot and it the shoot opens so the rice can fall out into your rice bag.
and then you have to sweep up the rice that didn't make it into the bag cause you were too busy trying to take bloody pics.

And that is rice dehusking 101.

Right, off to bed.

Wink wink, nudge nudge.


Tuesday, 13 July 2010

Random Dribble

You know those days - not the ones when you brush your teeth with your husband's biore men's facewash, trip over the cat on the way out the door and then try and take your kids to kindy forgetting hub's car is still behind yours and you just about reverse into it. Not those days. The ones you just want to curl back up into bed and wish somebody else would come look after your children, wash the dirty undies, vacuum, go to the bank and supermarket for you, and teach your English class... AND go on a health kick and exercise for you.

Yeah, those days.

Yesterday was OK. I was blog hopping and having a quick coffee in the morning when I came across a pic of some eggs benedict. I am the kind of person that sees something and then NEEDS it. Eggs benedict not on our menu round here and in fact muffins, or crumpets, or anything other than plain bread not available locally so eggs benedict craving turned into bacon and egg pie which turned into having to invite someone over for lunch for fear of eating whole pie by self.

Tried my depressed friend on valium but well she was too depressed to come over. (I shouldn't be light hearted about this I know but I have tried a couple of times since finding out that she has stopped working to meet up but to no avail. Any ideas on how I should go about trying to 'be there' for her that doesn't involve me sitting here on the other side of town on my fat ass doing nothing.) I then tried my other friend who is on leave from work with her small (not literally - three month old weighs 10 kilos) baby.

She said OK, will see you in fifteen minutes - at 11am. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Amazing powers of something meant I had the pie in the oven, the bench cleaned, the floor vacuumed and my hair brushed by 10:59. I kept pottering until 12:10 when she shows up - apologizing for writing the wrong time in her txt. Nevermind. Am sure lost 1500 calories in those fifteen minutes so all good.

I also did Billy yesterday and again this morning - that is five times in the week since I started. I can make it to the end, which was really only two minutes after the dreaded squats so don't know why I didn't get there sooner. Workout ends with everyone joining hands and having a big group hug - in words - and of course something about god, and finding your path and taking flight.

I foolishly thought that all this Billy and feeding the chickens and walking like a gorilla Bollywood style would mean something. For fucks sake. I was THE SAME weight this morning as I was almost 8 weeks ago. You know, I think this flummy to fabulous has saved me from 'putting on' weight - perhaps that was the meaning for me. At this extremely stressful time in your life you shall start a healthy eating and exercise blog so that you refrain from turning into jabber the hut. And if that was the aim then I have been successful. Of course staying the same weight is still lots of kilograms away from fabulous.

I know someone who was in a hugely stressful period in her life. She'd wake up and think about everything on her plate and then get overly depressed and to top it all off well, fuck, she was fat which of course just magnified all the other shit cause surely being depressed and fat is a lot worse than being depressed and skinny. So, what did she do? She went and booked herself in for a gastric band operation. How nice would that be.

Unfortunately I don't want a bit of rubber in my tummy I want will power.

At this rate you will never be audience to my bollywood youtube video.

Anyhoo, I'm sure that was some huge tangent. Where the fuck was I?

OK, so yeah, one of those days. Dropped the kids at kinder - in the lashing rain - AGAIN. Has been pissing rain since yesterday morning. The river outside our house has turned into Niagra.
This is scary because it is seriously three meters from the end of our drive which in turn is only five meters from our front door which means it would take a four year old approximately 3.8 seconds to get from the front door to the edge of the river. There are no guardrails. Shou is obsessed with the river and the level of the water. Like any four year old slash super hero he thinks he can swim. I tried to talk reason with him

mum: but mummy wouldn't even handle swimming in that darling.
Shou: but I'm a boy and I put my head under the water at kindy last week.
mum: look darling, that water is moving reeaaaaaaaaaly fast.
Shou: daddy got in it the other night to save the cat.
mum: it was a beautiful day darling, not a rain cloud in sight. There was only 10cm of water in the river.
Shou: (contemplating the universe) but I put my head under the water at kindy last week.

I am being a river nazi - I have nightmares of my children falling in and being swept away - when it is full of water - or hitting their heads on the concrete bottom when it's nearly empty.

So I guess the rain, the humidity, the worrying that my children are going to drown, the putting up with five people telling me today that Ryu should go to the doctors - he should by the way. His cough is getting quite bad. He didn't get a temperature however until 11:05 am - exactly. I know this because Granny K told me to take his temperature. Obedient daughter in law that I am (snigger snigger) I did. Our hospital is an hours drive away - 50 minutes if get all the green lights and 45 minutes if your wife is in labour in the back seat and it's 2am AND you get all the green lights. So the chances were that I wouldn't get there before they knock off for their two hour lunch break. Can't go after lunch as then I wouldn't make it back in time for my English class.

So what does bad mummy do - she gives the baby some pamol (which I am sure is only good in that it makes the mother feel better that she has actually done something) and declares that she will walk 10km in the snow barefoot tomorrow morning to take the baby to the doctors.

He has been a cling on all day - which is really his main sign that he is feeling a bit under the weather. I had to go to the town office because, by a stroke of luck, I remembered that my gain card expires in three days. Despite being a cling on and not even going to Granny K Ryu did put his arms out to pretty town office divorcee chick - but then I reckon 95% of the men in Kunimi, hub included, would put there arms out to her so I didn't take it personally.

Had to drive to next town over to get passport photos for new gain card. Got the worst photos in the history of passport photos - only for hub to see them and say they weren't so bad - looked just like me. Obviously as is photo of me but still. A bit of lying wouldn't have gone astray - crickey sweetie, that's a harsh pic, must be a shit camera cause you are so much prettier in real life.

Anyway, this post is really going no where. I feel a lot better now though and think I can stop digging that hole I was getting the spade ready for.

Hope everyone else is having better, less depressing weather than us.


Oh, and I spoke to mum yesterday. She starts the serious chemo this Friday :(  What can I get her? She has had enough flowers to open a florist although I don't think she has any right now. On the chemo drugs she loses her sense of taste so nice foods is out of the question.... Hmmmmm....
I guess this is also behind my depressed mood of late - she is in the middle of buying all the grandkids something. She said she wants to buy them something nice and while she said it doesn't have to be something they keep for ever to 'remember granny by' in the same breath it isn't to be something that they would really want now (ie Shou and a remote control jet fighter). She said she wants them to be able to use it now though. My three older nieces all got very nice bracelets but what for toddlers and babies?? She has gotten Marina and my two other smaller nieces kiddy bracelets - those retractable ones that can get smaller. But boys?? In the same token, I don't want it to be something the kids will lose as it may well be 'the last thing' they get from Granny.

Sob sob. Cancers a bitch.

Best get my little boy, he's having a bit of a snivel himself.

PS - this is what Granny K does to Ryu when he starts to sweat.
Puts a bit of gauze material stuff down his back and leaves half of it out like a cape. Now where did I put Shou's cool mask glasses he made at kindy...

Sunday, 11 July 2010

Bollywood & Sunday Guests.

Took nearly the whole day yesterday to regain my normal constitution. Hub was out at election stuff all day and the kids were at kindy and Ryu, bless him, slept for three hours in the morning. The lunch time chime woke me up. He had obviously been awake for a little while but was by no means nutting out. Talking loudly to himself would be a better description perhaps.

I tried the Bollywood dance dvd in the afternoon and for the first fifteen minutes or so I kept expecting someone to run into the room laughing saying I was on candid camera - that's how comical the dvd was. Come on now, stand there and shake your head, feed the chickens and walk like a gorilla. Some of the foot moves required a bit of coordination and I was forever cursing the camera man who was more intent on bare belly shots and pushed up boob shots. The lead dancer oozed sex despite never saying a word. None of them did in fact. It was all voice overs.

Despite this, I did end up getting a sweat up, although that could have been because was doing in mid day heat and sav blanc was dripping out my pores - even the ones on my toes. Sassymoo suggested I take a vid and upload it onto youtube. I know we all need a laugh as much as the next person but I'm kind scared it would take off like the Susan Boyle thing and next thing you know Oprah would have me feeding the chickens and walking like a gorilla on prime time TV. Tell you what though. I WILL take a video of it and if and when I lose 16 kg I will let you see it - but I might have to move to wordpress or something so I can password protect it for followers only. Kind of defeats the purpose of everyone getting a good laugh out of it though :)

Today was pretty full on. The kids have all been asleep since 6:45 pm. Wow. Silence in the house. That's what happens when neither Shou or Marina have afternoon naps and Ryu's only lasts 45 minutes. Absolutely buggered come dinner time.

Hub took Shou and Marina out this morning - to vote in the election (him not them) and then to the park and back past the supermarket for bentos for lunch. Ryu had a good sleep while I cleaned the house, did a couple of loads of washing and baked some more ginger crunch for our afternoon guests - the same guests I had made it for last Monday but who didn't get any because it wasn't set properly and by the time it was we were so engrossed in talking that I forgot.

Anyway, some pics...

Our afternoon guests. Staying in Kunimi for three weeks and I was the kind of go between for getting their daughter into a school for a two week 'taiken' - experience. He is an anthropologist. Very interesting. Spent a year in a small village in the amazon (as in 300 people) and wrote a book about it and their dialect. He came with his Japanese wife and their 7 year old daughter and a friend's son who is 11 - and from Kunimi.

It was great for Shou and Marina - playing with older kids, who were great at keeping our two entertained.
Chasing the older boy in the ball tent - he was using it like a hamster wheel. I was happy as - thinking the ball tent would still be a goer when the kids were like 10 but then thought probably wont last the distance at this rate! Oh - and the balls that go with the ball tent were kept in the cupboard. Just as well cause that blue ball on the right ended up in the pine tree, the anpanman ball in the river, and a few other toys up a different tree and a shoe on the shed roof.
Marina in the ball tent - in her beautiful dress she got from Cherish Child in NZ.

Hmmmm, it's my first time in the ball tent. Do I go through the tunnel or not.... decisions decisions..
Ok, so I made it in here. All good.
Not too keen on the prickly grass usually but in this thing it aint so bad mum.

and here I am - out the other side. That wasn't so bad. I reckon I'm about ready for one of those dog shows. Just need a ramp and some of those polls to weave in and out of next.

Father and son catch-ball - first pic ever I think. The older boy and friend were playing and I got out the gloves and Shou took interest.
no comment

Shou made this mask at kindy - I went to pick him up the other day and he had it on. One of the other two girls in his class had her red one on with a matching cape. Ryu pinged the mask about two seconds after this pic and Shou wasn't happy!! Ditched the mask, only to have it taken over by Marina...

Bugger off you lot. Have an early night.


Saturday, 10 July 2010

Yum yum.

I'm not sure if it's the hangover and just because feeling bit faint after spending the last hour weed eating Granny K's veggie patch - but I am feeling rather delicate. So delicate I could probably scoff down three mince pies, four cheeseburgers and ten packets of twisties. Ouch. Don't laugh. It hurts my head just thinking about it.

I went on shopping expedition for tacos supplies yesterday and what a waste of time that was. Not a taco in sight. I could have sworn that supermarket used to sell them. So not impressed. Decided on lasagna instead only to find the bloody shop didn't have lasagna sheets either. Made it anyway and just did layers of twisty pasta instead. yum yum cheesy goodness, yum yum garlic bread, yum yum salad, yum yum chips and guacamole.

yum yum beer

yum yum chuhai

yum yum sav

and the next thing I know it's 5 am, guests have gone home and I have invented new yoga position on couch with jeans, undies and bra still on. Obviously took my top off and decided had exerted enough energy for time being.

Quite squiffed I was. Hope i wasn't complete lunatic guests. Only two of them and one was driving so only me and one friend drinking. Hub went to sleep after putting Shou to bed at 9.

Hub got the kids breakfast this morning - good man. I had a 'lie in' till half six and then sashayed down the stairs in red silk dressing gown with dragon on the back - to cries of 'kawaii' from Marina and hip grinding from hub. I was still a bit pished and actually in fine form all through the getting dressed lark and taking kids to kindy. Had a great talk to the teachers and even showed them a couple of my latest kick boxing moves.

Now it's nearly 10am and I'm feeling not quite so flash and in desperate need of a mince pie. If maccas wasn't so far away I would go but as is I think I'm probably still over the limit and may well be for the next three days.

After taking the kids to kinder I was giving Ryu his milk before his morning nap and Ganny K asked if i would mind starting the weed eater up for her cause she needed to deal to the weeds in the veggie patch - which is tanbo size (very large). Now it would be a close call as to who/which is tallest - Granny K or the weed eater, so I, big strapping foreign lass that I am, offered to do it for her. An hour, ten fricken million grasshoppers, two frogs and a spider later and it is done and I have a halo glowing over head, albeit probably a bit lopsided and smelling like a brewery.

Right, I'm going back to bed for twenty minutes before Ryu probably wakes up.

Oh, and had lovely dinner and chats - friend who is leaving brought round huge stash of books and  'the Bollywood Dance Workout' - which I am going to try this afternoon, just as soon as I can grind my hips round the lounge without wanting to hurl.

Nighty night.