Thursday, 17 June 2010


Happy bubbly birthday to me!

Now that I've posted the warm fuzzies birthday post I can post the real deal. How my day has been...

I woke up - still a bit pissed (angry pissed) from the whole go go gadget slap husband for lying about pachinko thing. I didn't actually slap him - I felt like it I admit but I didn't say anything to him.

By lunch time I still have yet to hear from anyone in my immediate family by way of birthday greetings for either self or Shou. I mean NZ family. Hub and the kids said happy birthday this morning and I think Granny K might have even managed a mumble - although this is the first year I haven't been given a prezzie or card from her. Guess everyone has their limits aye.

Currently THE ONLY birthday cards for Ryu, Shou and I are from the European Stylist AND her mother (who I have never met but know is an absolutely fabulous woman who continues to send me cards and gifts for my children AND Easter eggs. Seriously. The woman makes my day about ten days a year), and my good friend in NZ. It's hard I know. We all have children now and our own lives. I am also shit at remembering birthdays and things. Family I do - well, brothers, sisters and parents anyway. Nieces and friend's children gets a bit harder and they all start blending into one big bloody birthday and when am I meant to send what to who?

Coming from me, who only hours ago wrote that birthdays should be about the mother and not you. Well, I tried ringing mine four times today. I even tried dad. I tried my sister a few times and my brother at home. I got no-one and started panicking that something was wrong so I phoned my bros mobile - and disturbed him while out drinking with the lads at the cosy club.  Everything is fine. Well, as fine as can be when your head is being zapped, you have lost most your hair and you feel sick as a dog. Mum goes home tomorrow. They can't wait.

So come lunch time I've done a bit of housework - nothing too arduous as is birthday after all. Feeling a bit like a Nigel no mates I check facebook and there you all are. A barrage of birthday messages. Thank you so much. What nice readers you are. Minus my blog and facebook today I think I would  have been feeling very sorry for myself. I didn't comment back on all of them but please know every one was read and appreciated.

I had a few messages and phone calls late afternoon - my sister and then my other sister while I was in the bath so had to say no to that. There is so much going on with every single member of the family at the moment. Even with the pachinko bullshit I am still probably the one with the least 'worries' and 'life changing decisions' to make. Obviously if the  dickhead keeps going and we don't sort this out I will have 'life changing decisions' to make, but for the time being....

I finish my English class at half five to see that my car has gone - hub has arrived home early and gone to pick up the kids. He comes home with flowers, a letter on that fancy paper, and a bottle of bubbles...
Lovely they are.

Shou also made me a card at kindy which was lovely - until Marina ripped it in half and I had to get the sellotape to it.

Ryu was pretty lovely all day too. He is into peek-a-boo (inai nai baaaaaaa) at the moment...
And me thinks some more teeth might be coming through - what with the teeth marks on the kotatsu table and all!!!
If you look closely you will notice that this onesie has been unstitched at the feet. The feet now come half way up his calfs but the rest of it fits perfect. He has thrashed these (he has three).

And I think that sums up my day. Hub is asleep on the floor after half a bottle of bubbles  - with ice.

ten minutes later - he is now off up to bed. He made some mention of money earlier in the evening and I asked after the stash in his car. He looked surprised. I shoed him the pic of his car in the pachinko carpark. I love him I do. I thanked him for the wine and the flowers and the lovely letter  (TWO PAGES of NICENESS - including one sentence about how he was sorry he had to work late so much - which made me want to burn it)

I told him the pachinko thing - he can go. That's not the problem. It's the lies and the debt that I don't know about that fucks me off.  I said we need to sort something out. He grunted and went off up stairs to bed - not sure which. Shou is asleep in ours so unless he moves the lad there will be no birthday action happening this evening.

Anyway, thanks for reading to the end of my birthday rant.

Oh, and we did have cake kind of. I bought five small chocolate log things. Granny K gave me stick about my mothering skills this afternoon so I promptly ate her bit. Bugger if I'm inviting that woman in for cake this evening. Ryu did eat about half of it though. Lucky he's a bloke cause he will definitely have trouble with the diet thing me thinks.

And seriously now.

Away I go.

Nighty night.


PS - I applied (??) to be listed on a list of Kiwi Mum Blogs. I got an email back saying my blog was the most foulest blog out of their 150 listings and that they weren't sure I was entirely appropriate. Didn't actually say that. Said 'why the swearing and anger' kind of thing.

I realize I aren't everybody's cup of tea. Bloody hell. I'm not even my own cup of cha half the time.

But can I ask you lovely lot.

Would you still come and read about life de gaijinwife if there were no obscenities, blasphemies or bitchiness of any kind??

That said, there is no way I could write a wholesome post - although my birthday one about mum today had hardly any bad words in it... !!!!


Claire said...

Happy Birthday!
I have been reading your blog (but I have never commented) since before you got pregnant with Ryu and I too have a four year-old with the same birthday as me! And I am a Gaijin Wife also. So I really love reading your blog. *Especially!* because it has all the swearing and emotion and stuff. Love love love. Don't change your style for some silly Kiwi blogger club thing, no way! :)

selena said...

Happy birthday!

Don't change a thing. Your blog is wonderful just as it is and part of what makes it great is how unedited and train of thought it is.

j. said...

happy birthday gw!!

don't change a thing. of course i would still read if there was no swearing or bitchiness or angst-filled rants, but it probably wouldn't be as fun (i mean that in a good way) or make me laugh as much. plus, i don't think it's worth changing your feisty style for some blogger group.

umebossy said...

Why the swearing and anger? Because there are many things in life that make us angry and swearing is an extremely enjoyable way of dealing with said anger. Definitely don't change!

Gaijin Wife said...

You guys rock.

Gaijin Wife said...

Claire - freaky you have a four year old with the same birthday. We should start a club. That involves lots of bubbles of course.

Corinne said...

Tell the kiwi mummy blog people to take the sticks out of their arses and shove their boring fuzzy blogs up there while they're at it I say!
Happy birthday!

Corinne said...

Woah, all the use of their/they're/there in that comment just sucked out all the English I had left in me... Err... Happy to you again birthday mrs wife of gaijin!

sassymoo said...

Love you just the way you are!

Claire said...

Yes, let's start a club! I am in Shikoku. Maybe we can rendez-vous in Hiroshima or something and have the bubbly party there.

Green-Eyed Geisha said...

Happy birthday Gaijinwife!! You are my cup of tea! If you ever come to Tokyo I would definitely treat you to a cup of tea, or something stronger...

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday, Gaijin Wife!
I've been reading your blog for a few months. My boyfriend's Japanese, so I've been reading a couple Foreigner-married-to-a-Japanese-guy kind of blogs to get some idea of what it would be like to live in Japan...
Anyway, I love your blog--I feel as if you could turn it into a book someday.

Also: I have no experience with marriage and I have NO idea how I would deal with pachinko and all that if I were in your situation. I just wanted to mention that, while attempting to avoid knock-down, drag-out arguments with my boyfriend, I recently came across some books by John Gottman, a professor of psychology who's basically the first person to do research on what causes marriages to last or fall apart.

Two of Gottman's books I'm finding extremely useful:
Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage
Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

A couple articles on his work:

Obviously, your marriage is none of my business whatsoever; I just wanted to mention this guy in case his stuff might be at all useful to you.

oobip said...

HI there,
Happy birthday
I have just found your blog and it is very very funny! Don't change it please!

from another gajin wife (not in japan but will be next year).

Anonymous said...

Happy belated birthday GW!!! Pl---ease dont go changing, EVER!

Anonymous said...

For some reason it came up anonymous, but its me random_01 aka Penny. Just got back from a month in Hita, had to deal to at least one mukade a day. Thought you could relate...

anchan said...

I'd still read, but my laptop wouldn't be covered in quite so much coffee!

Those flowers really are beautiful. I hope your hubby can sort himself out, 'cause he really does seem to be a sweetie at times :-)

Claire - you're on Shikoku too?! Wondering if you are near enough for a night out?? I'm in Ayagawa, just outside Takamatsu.

thefukases said...

Was that an *English*letter you got????

Wow...... K is a charmer but I think the longest note I've ever got was 'your mum called. I couldn't understand what she said. Call her?'

And as for the tone of your blog- I actually was half expecting this post to be referring to a peek-a-boo bra you got for your bday.... see that's the kind of titillation (haha) I come here for!

Gaijin Wife said...

Heather - a letter in English. Good laugh. Japanese I'm afraid - although he did manage to convey to my sister when she rang that i was in the bath with Ryu and I would call her tomorrow.

The closest thing I have to a peek a boo bra would be my feeding bra. Very easy access.

Anonymous said...

Happy belated birthday..sounds like it was pretty alright considering :)

At least you can celebrate with bubbly :) and agree with all, no way change for some uptight bloggers in NZ! but would still read if there was no stream-of-conciousness ranting going on XD

Rachel said...

I'd still read it because I tend to read the blogs of people I know already.

I think you might get extra readers for the shock value of you saying things other people only think, or writing about the drama and frustrations of life. Niceness never gets as big an audience as drama. For some reason people are bored or annoyed by things going well.

Gaijin Wife said...

Anon - my marriage, seeing as I write all about it anyway, is definitely open for comment. Thanks for the links. I've just had a quicksie look at the articles and will go back later for a proper read.

A relationship without fights would be hard. Imagine being so in tune with someone after seven years that you couldn't find anything that set you off after four years of sleep deprivation, a heavy period, and three loads of washing waiting for the rain to stop. Of course I can fly off the handle at a lot less. Really do need to pick my fights better. Am sick of the pachinko fight - so need to approach from different angle.

Perhaps I suggest that we make it a family outing next time he wants to go and Shou and Marina can run up and down the rows of machines and I can sit there giving Ryu some boob and distracting all the other men that are missing out on watching their children grow up by fleeing to the sanctuary of silver ball heaven.

Penny - a name for you. Thankyou. I tried to contact you about you being in Hita... ??? Things have been a bit hectic here lately but next time you are down please try and contact me again. Would love to meet up for coffee or bubbles and a rant.

We sprayed that powder stuff around the whole house and now we have dead mukade outside. Is scary how many there are. And to think that they were all on the way in when they got to the powder.

Claire - bubbles in Hiroshima sounds good. It could become an annual thing with the ten year get together in Tuscany - with Heather who is in charge of pizza making and grape growing - and anybody else who fancies bubbles, bitching and blasphemies.

Actually, I probably take the lord's name in vain enough for all of us.

Corinne - bubbles or not I don't think I would have got the correct spelling for all of those.

GEG - when I come to Tokyo you'll need to come collect me from the station. last time I was there it took me forty minutes to find the exit I wanted. That kind of stress and I think something stronger would be in order.

And thankyou to everyone else too :)

Anonymous said...

Gw next time in Oita will def be in touch. I thought of you as we travelled through the Kunisaki area (hope I got that right?). But with 2 overtired grumpy kids and in-laws in the one minivan it was all a bit much really! Never heard of the mukade powder, priceless info! Penny.

Anonymous said...

Good morning GW
No changes, ever. Stay as sweet as you are.
Love your blog.
Margaret M

Rachel said...

I was going to add I think your wit and sense of humour is a draw too. I actually think it would be an interesting exercise to write a post with all the humour, but no bitching. Challenge??

Anonymous said...

Happy belated birthday GW!
You have a gift for writing. I am sure if you left out the swearing it would still be an interesting read and I (for another) would still be here. But I think trying to censor yourself would cut into the stress relief you get from doing this, and no doubt the ROTFL moments would be fewer. Add me to the "stay just the way you are" crowd.

T in Tokyo

world of sekimachihato said...

god, are kiwi mum's that straight?
i'd much much rather read your blog WITH all the obscenities than about some mum sipping away on her latte in ponsonby talking about her latest kar*n walk*r dress purchase. b-o-r-i-n-g!

mmm, wonder if there are any gaijin dad blogs out there?
i can't be the only one!

Lulu said...

My mum is a kiwi and she is swears like a trucker- so I am not sure what those kiwi mums are on about? I bet they are not all peaches and cream in RL- at least you tell it how it is!!!

I would still read anyway. But like Anchan said- my keyboard probably wouldn`t be covered in so much liquid!!!

Happy Birthday GW!

Bryn said...

You're always my cup of tea GW! With or without the obscenities! I love your honesty, and your sense of humor! Don't change a thing!

Kristen said...

Your blog is one of the best I think because it is so open and honest. I say keep it the way it is. Happy Birthday!

nicnag said...

I love your blog, I always keep coming back for more! I have my own blog but havent posted anything on there for a few months cause I am too busy reading yours!!! Its great to read something that is so honest and it is so nice of you to take the time to write it. Dont change.

Ruth said...

Obviously it's the Kiwi Mother's blog people that have the problem. Please don't ever think about changing your blog, it's such a laugh!

Grace said...

Love your blog just the way it is! I read every morning here in the UK and wonder at your ability to retain any sanity, I know that your life would drive me nuts....
Happy Birthday and good luck with the flights to NZ in the Autumn. One of my bestest friends from my life before marriage and kids is now living in Palmerston!

Claire said...

I'm in Tokushima City! It's 1 hour on the express train to Takamatsu, but I'm afraid my same-birthday 4 year-old makes it hard for me to have nights out! Would be great to meet up tho.

GW: Tuscany! I'm in.

Anonymous said...

Late Happy Brithday from the States. As for your cussing, I hear way worst in college from fellow students.

Gina said...

A belated Happy birthday from me too! And not to worry about making it onto their blog list. We all love you Gaijin wife, I've been reading you for years and think you're perfect the way you are. Definitely don't ever change the way you write. : )