Monday, 7 June 2010

Dear Mum (love Ryu)

Dear Mum (Love Ryu)

WARNING: Obscenities from the mouth of a babe (warning posted by mum)

So, Happy Birthday to me aye.

Can you believe it's been a year already? A whole year since that traumatic underwater adventure culminating in trying to get my big head out the saloon doors. I know you probably think you were in more pain that day but really, think about it....

I really wanted to come out the week before. God, even the doctor thought I'd be out that day but then you god damn went and closed those saloon doors back up. Sealed them tight and I had to wait a whole nother week. When it was time I couldn't jostle my way down far enough for fricken ages. Don't know what all that squishy shit in there was but I had to really fight my way through. I was in such a rush at the end that I got all bloody tangled up in that damn cord. No wonder the doc had to pull me out by the head, I could hardly breathe man.

I thought, that after such an effort getting out that my mum would be a bit more excited to see me. I had 39 weeks to imagine what our first meeting would be like. I thought that I'd do a bit of screaming at you and then you would say something like 'hey sweetie, its so nice to finally meet you'. Instead the first thing you said to me was 'shit, he's purple'.

The nurse had to take me away to try and help me turn back to that normal baby color so I only got a token nuzzle to the boobs. I wasn't particularly hungry but it still would have been nice to get my face in there for a bit longer.

Dad took a video of my first bath. Not too excited about that home video to be honest. I'm all purple, screaming and looking like I've been in hot bath for too long - which I guess I have. Hope you don't feel that stupid parental need to show the video at my 21st or something horrific like that. It's shit like that that makes kids want to disown their parents aye.

I really wanted to come back for some more cuddles but I got put in the baby room for a few hours. I was a bit unsettled after all the trauma but a couple of the other blokes in there, the ones who were like already four days old, were really good. They told me it would all be OK and reassured me that being on the outside was more fun. They also let me in on the secret of the boob - and how it makes you feel all warm and safe and shit.

I remember when I was finally allowed another go at the boobs and one of the nurses came in. She asked if you wanted me in your room from the first night. I think I might have looked up at you expectantly - yes you do mummy, then we can have cuddles and boob ALL night - but you didn't even see me. You just kind of laughed at the nurse and said hell no, I want some sleep, he can room in from day three. The nurse then asked if you wanted to go home early - seeing as I had a big brother and sister at home waiting for you. If I remember correctly you laughed almost insanely and said something along the lines of that the only reason you had me was so that you could get a week away from those two. I have always wondered what you really said, cause I know no mother would actually say that out loud!

You know, I have good days and bad days about this whole 'third child' thing. Somedays I think it's great cause the older bro and sis can be so stupid that all I have to do is something pathetic like laugh or gurgle and you think I'm fuckin Christmas. Other days I am so far down the food chain that I wonder if you can actually hear me crying in my cot. I don't sit their screaming for the fun of it you know!

But overall mum, I think we've made quite a good team this year. I LOVED going back to New Zealand with you. I was THE MAN for ten whole days. Apart from the wanker men stewards on the flight back everybody bloody loved me. Thanks for taking me. It was so special - just you and me.

I know it's hard with us three, and dad can be a bit of a prick sometimes but you know he's really trying mum. Give the poor man the benefit of the doubt, how on earth would he find the time for pachinko, what ever the fuck that is.

Granny K's a piece of work isn't she? She loves me of course but man, she didn't need to go off at you this morning of all mornings. Does she not know I like waking you up in the middle of the night. I even had to compete with Marina last night. Good on you for not losing your rag.

That dog she gave me for my birthday was quite a laugh aye. Well, I'm a bit over it now but the first fifty back flips or so were pretty fuckin hilarious.

And mum, don't worry about yesterday. I'm a baby. I'm pretty resilient. But hey - don't let it happen again cause it would be nice if I still had some brain left to take advantage of having two languages being thrown at me 24/7.

Oh, and mum, I love you.

You're pretty awesome.

Love Ryu.


Violet said...

Ryu, you've got quite a mouth on you for a one year old. I hate to think what my two will be like a year from now!

But um, yeah I guess this answers my question about older children visiting while you're in hospital. Don't go there? But for 9 days? They just get used to it and aren't traumatised for life? I know, I should get over myself. I'm not that indisposable, right?

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday have a quite a lot of interesting vocab for someone so young :)
Hope the whole family had a good day.

Gaijin Wife said...

Violet - I know. I really need to tone down on the obscenities.

* (from GW) - if YOU are OK about not seeing son for 9 days (that is a long time though - i was only 5) - then I would try and go the distance. When I was in with marina, shou came in and it was just too hard for him. Easier to have gone the whole week without the visit I think.

Son wont be traumatized. YOU might be - when you get home and find your kitchen re-arranged by your MIL!

What are you still doing on the computer. Aren't you like going into hospital tomorrow?

CBN - the family had a good dinner and cake time :) Even Granny K was allowed in which was nice.

Sara said...

Happy Birthday Ryu!!

Sounds like you've had a productive year. Don't worry about being Baby #3 you'll get to learn from onii-chan and onee-chans mistakes and then make some new ones all your own.

I hope sometime before another year goes by I'll be able to meet you and introduce to a future bridal candidate.

Plus your mum and I can drink wine, eat cheese and chocolate, and complain about gambling chiho komuin husbands... oh wait I've said too much....

Anyways Happy Birthday Cutie Pie :)

Nay said...

Happy Birthday Ryu!!

I can't believe it has been a year already. This time last year I was squeezing my lady bits as tight as possible reading your birth story, LOL! So much has changed since then...

Am hoping that we will get to see pictures of Ryu's 1st birthday cake?

Gaijin Wife said...

Nay - you will. A cake was made and a cake was eaten but I thought I would leave today's posting to Ryu and then tomorrow I can heat the keyboard hot with rants about Granny K - and pic of cake!

Bryn said...

Happy birthday Ryu!!! You are unbelievably adorable! I love that round melon of yours (be careful, you don't want it to end up all lopsided from too many crack ups!)

I hope you had a great day, and smashed back loads of yummy cake (and hope your naughty mommy doesn't need to claim immunity for smashing back loads with you!)

Happy, happy birthday big boy!

sassymoo said...

Ryu, you are going to turn out as sassy as your mum!!!! Happy birthday Mr 1 year old. Now that you`re a big boy, how about sleeping through the night and giving your mum some peace?

Midori said...

Best first birthday post EVER!!
Can`t believe he is one already, where the hell has this year gone?! Happy birthday Ryu!

world of sekimachihato said...

omedetou ryu-kun!
i can see where you get your colorful language skills from.
just remember you may wanna be a bit more selective once you start kindy.
i've got tonnes more advice for you, but i'm saving it for when you turn 18. although with the way kids are now days maybe when you're 16.
love uncle k. (oh and no, we're not really related but you know)

Lulu said...

Happy Birthday Ryu!

You will be saying fush and chups along with your other colourful vocab in no time.

GW- congrats on surviving the first year as a mother to three. I am still waiting to see what spider incidents await you THIS summer :P

Brenda said...

Happy birthday Ryu! Sorry I'm a little late, but late birthday wishes are really the key to milking your birthday and stretching it out as long as possible. Just my little bit of worthless advice to help get you through life, which I hope is long, happy and filled with filial piety because your mom certainly deserves it!

Jen B said...

Haha, great post gaijinwife! Catching up on six weeks of blogs posts. This could take a while. :-)