Wednesday, 30 June 2010

Class with Junior High kids.

Set my alarm to get up for the second half of the Japan - Paraguay match but was too tired and in hindsight I'm glad I didn't. Obviously not a 'true' supporter but that's pretty obvious considering I only really get enthusiastic over soccer come world cup time. Japan goes wild with the stuff so it is very difficult not to get through a day without some kind of soccer coverage. Must admit some of the lads are a bit of alright and I do like those programs where they look into their past and show them kicking a ball round with their brothers when they are four kind of thing.

Ryu and I had a town baby thing yesterday. He only just got weighed and shit last week so they flagged that but they needed numbers for the Junior High kids 'lets experience what it's like to be pregnant and look after a baby for five minutes so that it deters us from shagging up and getting pregnant at the age of 16'.

Their is only one class of third years at the Kunimi Junior High School. They got split into two and had turns with the pregnancy suit and then in with us asking questions, changing nappies and the likes. There were only six babies and Ryu was the oldest. He got A LOT of attention which is both nice but embarrassing. I was talking quite a bit to Ryu in English and he was in fantastic smiley form and I'm not entirely sure if the kids didn't leave thinking they would go accost the next foreigner they meet and shag up so they get a cute baby.

(the back of) Ryu and two kids who will be in the same school year. The girl in the back is 'High Tiger' boy's little sister and they live about five minutes up the mountain road from us - she is wearing Marina hand me downs. The boy in the front is a friend's son (who I used to work with back in the days of CIR). She has a 14 year gap between her kids - for various reasons. It's nice that she has a baby now though as we see each other at all these things and will get to be Monster Parents together on the PTA.

Ryu (I just wrote Shou and had to delete it) being very compliant while a boy tries desperately to get his foot through the nappy hole. Now he has his nappy off Ryu had a bit of a 'play' with his bits which the two boys thought was a great laugh.
Doing the 'yuri kago' - rock a bye baby kind of thing using a bath towel. The class was held from 2pm until half three and Ryu was a rockstar for the first hour but by this stage he was starting to get sleepy and if these boys had kept rocking for two more minutes he would have fallen asleep. I tried to convince them to stop by our house every night at half seven, and to bring three towels and four more friends!

The class started with just us mothers and babies and a talk on 'your baby during summer'.  I have been to all these classes twice before with Shou and Marina but I had forgotten this - a baby the size of Ryu (about ten kilos) sweats about 500ml of sweat during the summer - every day.  An adult weighing 50kg  loses 1 kilo every day in sweat and I guess adults of a bit more substance lose more! We then had to guess how many sticks of sugar was in each drink - 100 percent juice, pocari sweat and CC lemon. Pocari had the least but was still 11 sticks of sugar (3g each). It is easy to forget how much sugar is in this shit.

There was then a relax (with your now screaming tired baby) and have a herb tea with the other mothers bit - right at the end.  Christ if they wanted to relax us why didn't they provide wine and a super taxi to take us all home?

Still, a nice outing with Ryu. Because Kunimi is so small you tend to meet everyone at these things or at the vaccinations. Forges great sense of community. Rah rah.

Right, it's 6am I should think about breakfast for these kids. Ryu is still asleep but he wont be far away and hopefully hub will be grace us with his presence soon.

Off to do a load of errands today, highly exciting stuff like...

  1. finally taking the fuwafuwa winter blankets to the dry cleaners
  2. finally sending 'electric cigarette' to sister. I have had it a few days but had to get round to writing English instructions for it. She had stopped smoking but god, all the shit going on with her and I just about needed to start smoking too. 
  3. buy an electronic photo frame as house warming gift for friends. Hub usually puts money into a collection when one of the lads at the office builds a house but this time they aren't so us, and two other families are putting in the usual 3 or 4,000 yen and buying them a gift instead. 
  4. Buy milk, nappies and check loto number - don't think I posted this silly story -  on Saturday while hub and I were out we went to fill the car up with gas. Two seconds before the man told us how much it was I said I thought it would be 6,800 yen - it was 6,854 yen. Hub thought Saturday must have been a lucky day for me so we spent three dollars getting a lotto ticket with those four numbers. Silliness.
  5. Meet friend for lunch - this actually qualifies AS exciting stuff. Haven't seen her for a couple of weeks and she teaches English to High School kids, some of whom are complete bastard dickheads and should be sent to juvenile detention. 
Then I guess it's home James for afternoon English. Hub mentioned yesterday that today was bonus day so I need to check with him if that means he wants eel for dinner, two hours at pachinko or a session with the horny housewife.

Right, breakfast and stuff.


Monday, 28 June 2010


Katy Aramaki thinks her little boy is growing up. He just spent a whole 30 minutes coloring in the same page. This bodes very well indeed for our 24 hours of travel and transit to get home in October.

Katy Aramaki is impressed with herself for finishing her translation a whole half day before is due. One final read an then its getting sent baby sent. Wahooo.

Katy Aramaki is sick of the fuckin rain. Despite doing washing all weekend she still did three loads today, which couldn't all get hung out to dry so had to make trip to coin laundry.

Katy Aramaki feels a bit sorry for Marina. She has two blisters from cheap plastic shoes she wore for ten minutes yesterday, and a scratch on her fanny from falling over a step crab hunting on the way to kindy.

Katy Aramaki thinks hub is a bit of a legend for managing five shag sessions in a week at the age of 45!

Katy Aramaki thinks her previous status is in direct relation to three days of horny housewife membership.

Katy Aramaki is thinking perhaps she shouldn't have canceled that membership.

Katy Aramaki thinks she has fallen off the diet wagon these last three days.

Katy Aramaki thinks she needs a leg up, a mini tramp and a rocket launcher to get back on.

Katy Aramaki had an interesting conversation with the post office man who rang up to enquire what was in the box she sent to  Yonezawa this afternoon. She had just written pump on the 'what are you sending' bit and thought the photo of a lady holding a breast pump to her boob extracting milk that was ON THE BOX would have been sufficient as an explanation.

Katy Aramaki's top was all a bit skew wiff (squew wiff ?? - NZ slang for all over the place, out of place, only really used for clothes) when she went to open the door today after her THREE HOUR nap with the baby.

Katy Aramaki thinks the amazon delivery man got a bit more than he bargained for.

Katy Aramaki doesn't rate being woken up at 3am to wipe shit off the back and neck of her one year old.  Same one year old stayed awake until 5am, hence the THREE HOUR nap this morning.

Katy Aramaki thinks she spends too much time on FACEBOOK.


PS. Katy Aramaki thinks it's been a while since you all saw some pics of her beautiful children...

Ryu in his pit.

Ryu thinks the cat is fuckin hilarious
Saturday's crab haul making a dash for it after the kitten knocked the bucket over. The littlest crab didn't make it - the kitten got to it first.  For some reason this was extremely funny at the time. Perhaps blame it on the ASAHI.
The three sprogletts. Shou and Marina in differing stages of the downward dog, or something.

Sunday, 27 June 2010

Sunday bloody Sunday

Sunday bloody Sunday - actually it wasn't bloody by any stretch of the imagination but Sunday's do have their 'special' way of wearing me out.

Hub and Shou were off early for the Union get together in the park in Oita city, two hours away. Was  a pre-election thing although a similar thing happens every year. 500 people turned up this year and amongst the proceedings Shou strips off and runs round and round the fountain which is in the middle of the park. I don't really blame him as was stinking hot today. Luckily he had a change of clothes, two in fact - just in case they decided to go crab hunting on the way home.

The idea was that Shou and hub would be out and that Granny K would look after Marina while Ryu slept and I would translate. Granny K was asked by her beloved son whether she could look after her beloved grand-daughter while her beloved daughter in law did a couple of hours work. She came in and upon seeing Marina settled in front of a DVD (for all of five minutes it was) and me typing away she buggers off - and proceeds to go to the veggie patch farthest from the house - without her phone. I know it wasn't intentional but it's a miracle I managed to translate the page that I did.

When she came back we tried to get Marina to play in her room but no go so I gave in to defeat and packed the computer away and Marina and I went to the cleaning place (new in Kunimi from last week) and dried three loads of washing. God I hate the rainy season. Honestly, what is good about it?

washing never getting properly dried? Hanging it out under the deck only to have to spin dry it for an hour at the end of the day?

All the 'things' that like the rain and come out to play?

Hub having to go to the town office every time there is a heavy rain warning - just in case they need to sand bag little old ladies houses in the middle of the night so the water doesn't get in?

the fact that puddles and crabs are two of Marina and Shou's most favoritist things in the whole world? I'm usually OK on most occasions when it comes to puddles, water, mud and crabs but on the way to kindy in the morning it does my head in - the puddles at least. We usually spend about ten minutes looking for crabs between the car and the kindy every morning - when it's not raining, in which case I spend ten minutes trying to bribe them not to run through every puddle they see. But then what three year old doesn't like running through puddles. Their fascination is of course part my fault as when it really rains (or the day after) I will go through the big puddles on purpose - in the car, so that the water sprays up the side of the windows.

Anyway, the day was fine, I got my quote finished, albeit a sentence here and a sentence there. Only one page left to do tomorrow.

Have taken some pics, mainly of Ryu, over the last couple of days but the camera is currently passed out from over usage. Will post tomorrow.


Saturday, 26 June 2010

Better Day

OK, so I've had a bit much wine and probably shouldn't be posting but nevermind.

Hub had mountain weedeating duties this morning so I had to take the kids to kindy - is usually hub's weekend job. Marina got out of the car and proceeded to run through EVERY muddy puddle between the car and the kindy - approximately five. Needless to say I had to strip her of her leggings before even had chance to say 'yoroshiku' to the teacher.

Hub was back from weedeating at ten - tis the grass around the lake that feeds water to all our fair rice paddies. Usually 15 people will turn up but this time it seams most people opted to pay the $20 for not turning up.

I got  a bit of translating done and then we hit sushi for lunch. A bit of shopping, home and then some more translating while GK looks after Ryu and hub goes to pick up Mayhem 1 and Chaos 2.

They get home and I try my best to ignore sounds - after all, daddy is 'supervising them'. There is a lot of crab hunting going on and they turn back up on the deck covered in mud. Awesome. Straight into the bath.

had some fun stuff, rude obscenities and horny housewives antics to tell you but I am just too worn.


Friday, 25 June 2010

Tequila pleeeeeeeeease

Can someone send me some tequila. I need a couple of shots myself and the rest I plan on pouring over the bitch I have to share my house with and setting her on fire.


The day didn't start out so bad. In fact it was quite good. The kids went to kindy rather peacefully and then Ryu went down and napped for THREE hours - which meant could get all the house stuff done and half of translation quota for today. I have learnt not to set myself too big a quota if possible as it really stresses me out if I can't get it done and then I have double to do the next day - which usually means one of the kids will decide to vomit all night and need to be taken to the doctors.

Ryu and I and that woman that lives in that heinously messy room off our corridor, went to the supermarket in the next town over after he woke up. I needed to buy baby formula and the likes and it seriously costs 500 yen more to buy it in Kunimi - may as well spend that 500 yen on petrol and go to a better supermarket. Unfortunately driving with Granny K isn't a 'fun' experience. She will never by Thelma to my Louise.

She insists on sitting next to Ryu which is only favorable in that it means she isn't sitting next to me. It's not a five minute drive away. If Ryu is getting sleepy, like he was on the way back, she goes through her entire repertoire of embarrassing vestling make baby laugh shit - and it never works. Why? Cause the baby is tired and he would probably fall asleep if you stopped trying to feed him custard cream bread (yes, I know you think you did it on the sly because I didn't actually turn back but hey - that's what revision mirrors are for) and croaking like a frog to that 'kaeru no uta ga' song. If you are going to croak then do it properly and I'll organize the funeral - quite happily.

Couldn't start being a bitch this early on in the day though as I needed her to look after Ryu for my hour lesson at the school. Ryu ended up sleeping the whole time I was gone and in fact until 4pm. I don't want to say that he has been sleeping soooooo well lately so I wont. I didn't just say that did I? No. Good.

Went to pick the kids up from kindy and told myself that it was Friday and I was going to be super fun mummy - on speed. And I was, for all of about half an hour and then the fact that menace and mayhem continued to run round outside in the rain, without shoes on AND swinging the cat by the tail (or trying to at least) and super fun mummy on speed departs and 'why the fuck wont you listen to me' mummy steps up to bat.

I can't remember what bad mummy tactics I had to enforce to get them inside but inside they came. I think they even ate all their dinner - albeit taking a very long and painful 45 minutes. Ryu got fed at five so he is just getting shittier and shittier. Granny K is never on hand at this time. She does the Ryu out of the bath thing and then buggers off.

Dinner plates cleared away and Shou and Marina have half a Popsicle each in front of the TV - I see my five minute glimmer of opportunity so Ryu and I dash to the bath. Ryu is starkers and so I am. I am just about to close the bathroom door when I hear the two rugrats fighting - quite seriously. I throw on my Hugh Hefner dressing gown and go to referee. Marina has hit her chin and is in tears. Howling. Granny K comes to investigate and I ask if she could please sit with the two of them for five minutes while I wash Ryu. She says nothing to me but just takes Marina by the hand and goes back to her room and locks the door.


She comes back two minutes later with a whole packet of highchu chewy lollies. Shou of course wants them. I impart onto Granny K that I don't think it right to be giving her a whole lot of lollies at this time of night - especially if she is then going to let her come out and eat them in front of Shou. Granny K said that Marina wanted the whole packet and got all stroppy when Granny K just tried to give her one.  That's when I lost it. Marina is two woman. You can't let her boss you around. They need lessons. Lessons that are consistent.  Granny K said something along the lines of how the children act like they do because I am always on at them. And so I lost it again.

'I'm sick of people telling me (Granny and Hub) I am crap and need to be all flowers and fuckin sunshine to the kids when I am the one that does the brunt of the looking after (minus of course the teachers at kindy). I try I really. I am all nice and calm but after about ten times I can just feel my self start to overheat, and then it's an inevitable explosion which most of the time is me yelling at them. A smack if it's something dangerous or they push me over the edge. If Ryu happens to be grizzling or I am naked and trying to get him in the bath when above happens then it is usually worse.

I don't need Granny K giving me advice. I don't need the whole 'hub's late and says he is working or doing union stuff but what if the sneaky fucker is actually at pachinko' seed that he has sewn in the back of my head.

I also hate having to try and cover bits of flummy and what not up when trying to sort kids out and Granny K is on the scene.

Stop Press.

Hub has just come home - 8pm - earlier than I thought. He could tell by the steam evaporating off the top of my head that I wasn't shagadellic mummy tonight. He made the mistake of asking why I was so pissed off!!! Has anyone got a husband who, upon seeing that their beloved wife is visibly upset, gives them a hug?

Anyway, this was our conversation...

hub: why are you so pissed off?
GW: The kids. I am really getting to my limit.
hub: what a stupid thing to say. They are your own kids. Shouganai.
GW: That wasn't really what I meant. I meant getting to my limit of doing the evenings almost entirely on my own.  Do you know that I had to chase Shou and Marina practically naked (them and me). They went off on a rampage outside. In the rain. With no shoes on. And Marina had no pants on. Shou then tried to swing the cat round his head like a lasso.
hub: You're the one that wanted to keep the cat.
GW: Ummm??
GW: Did you bring any beer home?
Hub: no.
GW: fuck it. Haven't you got esp. Give me your car keys then.
Hub: you going to get some?
GW: No darling, I'm going on a horny housewives shoot, what the fuck do you think I'm doing?
GW: Christ, you smell like a chimney.
Hub: was the bloke beside me at the union thing.

Fuck it, did I mention I need some tequila. Well, now I need two bottles. One for GK and one for Hub. I don't even like to Tequila so the chances are that it WILL all get put to good use as a fire starter.  Send me gin and I may just squiff it all back and pass out for a few days.

God, that sounds like a good idea.
Now, just as soon as I finish this translation.

Oh - and in-between about paragraph three and four of this post Shou pissed all over the toilet floor. No attempt whatsoever to lift up the seat. He had wet pants and trousers too so the chances are he just couldn't hold on but he then went and, despite my asking him not to, stand in his own pee and then run down the corridor - laughing like a hysterical hyena. Thank god Ryu didn't wake up.

Hey, on second thoughts, flag the tequila.

I think I just need the gin.


Thursday, 24 June 2010


Very sleepy so this wont be long.

Have finished my translation quota for today. First deadline is tomorrow with the whole thing due in on Tuesday.

I guess today was a bit taxing - being Thursday and all. Two English classes plus the kindy one - which I might add didn't involve any 5 year olds boys punching 5 year old girls in the face today. Yay. Both classes were a lot better than last time and I actually felt like some English was flowing. In my Junior High English class I decided to start the English only rule. It went well but I think I came out of it more tired than they did! Have the primary school tomorrow.

Am really juiced. Need to go to bed. Hub 'suggested' I wake him up when I get there but I can't really be arsed to be honest, what with probably being woken at half four tomorrow morning. Sleepy.


Wednesday, 23 June 2010

About Time

quarter to nine and the last of the sprogletts is finally in peaceful slumber, albeit in our bed but nevermind. I am procrastinating - which yes, means that translation came through. I was asked how much I could get down between this morning and next Tuesday. In my response I calculated in 'this morning' - thinking that 'morning' meant that part of the day that comes before 'afternoon'.

Mornings are my best time. Ryu sleeps for about two hours and seeing as the entire family is up at the crack of bloody dawn I can usually get a good chunk of house stuff done (washing and dishes at least) before walking the kids to kindy at half seven. I was all sorted by half eight this morning. The house was clean and Ryu was asleep and I was twiddling my thumbs. Translation came, with an apology, at eleven forty. Ah, what can you do really.

It is quite interesting, not too long and not too difficult. So I should probably get back to it aye.

Oh, but before I do.

I went into the hills to get that pic but the place was so fallen down that you couldn't even see the sign anymore which was really the whole point. It is a building on the old road between Kunimi and the next town over, just before the old tunnel that looks like scene out of Shawshank Redemption. When I first arrived ten years ago you could still see the old sign and the actual shape of the building. The sign read 'SWEET SHOP'. Naively I thought this was an old shop that made sweets, albeit in a very odd location. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel, it turns out it was a 'Drive in' / love hotel. A local 18 year old girl used to frequent it quite a lot and with different people - one of whom left her up the duff. I would give my right armpit for a name.

I know there was more pressing tidbits from my day to relay to you all but I can't think. I have the kindy English class tomorrow plus two of my own classes. Apparently one of the kids went home after the last class (during which that boy punched the girl in the face) and raved about how much fun English was and now his mum wants to put him (4years old) in my 5 and 6 year olds class - which has been going for two years now with the same kids. I said no but that if the boy could persuade three of his friends to start too then I would consider starting a new class.


Shit - forgot to say - the whole family was down at 6am this morning. This is like pure luxury. Shou was awake and in our bed at half four but my superior mothering skills (and supreme bribing skills) got him back to sleep until 6. Wow.

Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Crawly '#%('&

OK, so story about place in hills not happening tonight but am heading over that way to meet Chiemi for lunch tomorrow so will take pic then.

This morning was absolutely heinous. I am over Shou waking up at the crack of fuckin dawn. This morning ..... 4am and he was in our bed poking me and trying to get hold of some of my hair with his crane. It wasn't pretty. I was not happy. By half four he was down in Granny K's room and ten minutes later outside playing with the kitten. Can't leave a four year old playing outside on his own so up I get. Marina has been woken up and is down by half five followed by Ryu at 6am and hub at ten past.

Honestly, when my kids are old enough to go out on the lash but happen to be staying at home I am going to repetitively wake them up at 4am. Not that I was on the lash last night but hey, I'm 34. Going to bed at 11pm and going to bed at 3am when you are 19 must have the same effect physically.

All of that aside I still managed to walk the kids to kindy in the double buggy. It was HOT - and still not even 8am. I swear I sweat off half a thigh just in that hour alone. Fantastic.

Ryu and I had a very lazy morning. He slept. I slept. He slept. I cleaned. He slept. I watched Numbers. Went to supermarket when he woke up and got fondled (him not me) by everyone we met. Got home and had lunch and then had feeling I was forgetting something.

Check latest postcard from Social Welfare and sure enough we are meant to be at the centre by 1:50. I am checking this at 1:40 mind you. Fuck. Change the baby, get the bag sorted and off we go - rocking up at 1:49.  Ahhh, the joys of rural life. Getting to your destination in 9 minutes! That said though, it takes me an hour to get to maccas and other important places like the kids doctor.

Ryu gets weighed, measured (smack bang in the middle of average) and then checked by the doctor. The doctor remembers me and comments on my superior baby making skills and being back to see him for the third time in four years.  He also comments on amazing performance of All Whites in the World Cup Soccer. Ryu gets the all clear. Good skin, heartbeat, balls, superchinchin etc.

We then have our turn with the 'all round lady' who asks about Ryu's motor skills. Seems a bit concerned he isn't standing up yet - especially as two of the 10 month old babies are cartwheeling across the room. He can stand if you put him in front of something to hold on to. He isn't too fussed about trying it out on his own yet though. But hey, if the woman had a two and three year old at home she wouldn't be 'encouraging' this kind of malarky either.

Move on to the other 'all round lady' who gets a bit more personal. How old is everyone, how much does Granny K help out, am I planning on flipping out anytime soon, do I have close friends I can bitch to and is there anything I'm having trouble with. I laugh and say no, not really, just wish hub got home earlier in the evenings. When I get to the next lady - the lady giving advice on teeth brushing, she mentions that the last lady wrote the hub and earlier home thing down - in ink for the rest of time. Hub probably got a postit on his desk this afternoon.

I got a small telling off for not having started a rigorous brushing regime with Ryu - who has five teeth. He isn't eating anything noticeably sweet but still. I should be brushing. Got  a free toothbrush in fact. And some brushing chewing gum - actually Ryu got that?? Got this with Marina and Shou as well. Why? They don't say it is for the mother so why give chewing gum to a one year old? Hmmmm. The jury is out - and most probably bashing their heads against a concrete wall somewhere.

By the last lady, the nutritionist, Ryu is past it. It is sooooooooooooo nap time. He has been super friendly up until now but now he just wants out. So do I. The nutritionist is about 19 and probably never had to resort to 'horny housewives' as a pick me up for dealing with being a SAHM for the 4th year running. Seriously, she seemed oblivious to the fact that Ryu was doing the big back arch and rubbing his ears. She was about as fast paced as a sloth in a wheelchair. I am amazed at Ryu for actually eating the pumpkin and whitebait baby fritter and tasteless boiled fish that was given to him for afternoon tea. He scoffed it back. I scoffed at her, and off we went home.

Ryu went down for his nap and I had to sort dinner, bath, washing and vacuuming out before English class at half four. Yakisoba for dinner - quick and easy. All the kids had it with a vegemite sammy and some watermelon.

When I went to pick Shou and Marina up from kindy Shou was in the process of looking for 'hasami mushi'. Have no idea what they are in English and even in fact if that is their real Japanese name. They are ugly fuckers though. Unbeknownst to me he put one in his gumboot. Got in the car and I figure it out and tell him that thing is NOT riding home with us. He lets it out and then as soon as I start backing out of the carpark starts a nuttout of huge proportions. He wants me to turn round RIGHT NOW to go back for the insect. So not happening. His nuttout lasts for twenty minutes. I (quite surprisingly) don't join him and am quite calm.

No son, I'm not turning back to go pick up a crawly insect with biters.
No son, I'm not ringing up the teacher to go back to go pick up a crawly insect with biters.
No son, there aren't any lollies in the car.
No son, we can't all sit in the car and have dinner.
Sorry son, but mummy is not getting locked out of her own house.
Sorry son, but mummy refuses to sleep out in the adventure playground.
Sorry son, but mummy isn't going to make a special trip to the shops for lollies.

Granny K tried to tell me it was my fault. And I really couldn't be assed relaying the whole crawly insect with biters in the gumboot story so I just thanked her for looking after Ryu for twenty minutes and went about my business.

Ryu has finished dinner and Shou and Marina are about half way through when Hub walks in?? Me thinks he has post-pachinko guilts. He circled today as a late day. Last night was a late night too and he was home at 8 - which isn't 'late'. He has union stuff tomorrow and Friday and will be home early on Thursday because I have English. He has to go weedeating with the local vestlings on Saturday morning and on Sunday he has a Union thing in the city - which hopefully he will take Shou to. He is busy really. I know this. But the occasional (he reckons once a fortnight so probably more like once a week) pachinko outing and the LIEING that accompanies it really fucks me off.

Nevermind. Might just put some more bling on his card in October when we go home...


Monday, 21 June 2010

What a Bonus

Remember around the time I found out about mum and the cancer I was doing a lot of translation work? Well I logged into the online site for that company and went to my 'invoice' page. Turns out I had forgotten to tick two of the jobs I did and they have been sitting there this whole time unpaid. They weren't huge jobs. Only turns out as 40,000 but that is still about $600. $600 that feels like I am getting for free so much time has elapsed since I actually did the work.  Awesome. What a pleasant surprise!

It was also pay day today AND it is bonus pay day at the end of the month. Half is going on the new computer and the other probably going into stock up the secret pachinko slush fund! Not really - nearly every cent is accounted for this time leaving about zilch to be played with. Can't remember the last time we had a bonus day to look forward to. Not complaining though. At least bonus days help stop us from drowning quite so much.

Took the kitten to the doctors this morning. An hour each way for a five minute consultation during which the doc declared MEOW healthy bar a few flees which he took care of by giving her some proper flee stuff - as opposed to the cheap shite we got at the home center on Saturday. Am going back next week for a jab of some kind.

She wasn't that impressed with the car and her temporary housing - a 12 bottle Asahi beer box. I put an old towel in the bottom and when I opened it for her she jumped straight in. Easy. I shut the lid and put her in the boot. I look back three minutes later, after a lot of meowing and carrying on, and see her up on the back of the seat about 6cm away from Ryu's head. She gets re-boxed but this time she gets moved to the front seat where I can put my heavy handbag on the top and keep an eye on her.

Cost $40 for her first checkup and the flee stuff. Haven't been to a doctors and had to pay that much for a long time. The kids are free and the dentist is only $8 per kiddy visit. The cat will probably end up being more expensive!

We had a quiet afternoon and the kids were relatively good for the dinner thing. Hub was home in time to 'help' with Shou going to bed but really it was just a lot of faffing around and 'you'd rather sleep with mum wouldn't you?' kind of shit so in the end I was queen of putting all the kids to bed - again. Honestly man. If you're going to get home at 8pm - a time when am just in the process of getting Shou up to bed - then try and be a bit more enthusiastic about helping the cause.

I was very good with the kids this evening and I don't even think I screamed once! While they were inside having dinner - after me having to count to five (which is proving to be extremely effective) to get him in from outside - Shou said, in a voice exactly like the one I use, 'Mum, I wish you'd listen to Shou more. I told you I wanted to eat tea outside tonight'. I had to stifle a giggle. My little boy is growing up so fast!

Well, an extremely boring post tonight. No obscenities of any kind. Apologies. Granny K was fine, the kids were good, Ryu was adorable, the kitten thing was relatively painless and hub wasn't caught at pachinko!

Peace with the world.

Oh, I did spend a while on the putter trying to sort out accommodation for trip home. Two weeks in hotels is expensive going. I having been emailing places trying to find out about fenced play areas and highchair and cot availability!!

Right, cup of cha and final episode of 'Numbers' before I have to beg for more DVDs off Chiemi. I remembered a story the lady at the place we went out for dinner and drinks to on Saturday night told us. Really need to go into the hills and take a photo of the place in question though so will do that tomorrow.

Night night campers.


Sunday, 20 June 2010

Cheese has gone

Cheese has gone and now the poor cat is being called 'meow'. Not that you really need to call it as such as it is there 24/7 just waiting for attention - which for a lot of today was in the form of Shou and his toy crane.

I have a not quite blister from sawing wood and screwing in 30 screws for the...
Why does the cat look wet? Because hub and I had harped on so much to Shou and Marina about not picking it up too much cause it probably had flees and perhaps worms. They thought that it needed a shower. Enter the garden hose. Didn't get too wet thank god! Probably thanks to Shou's crap aim - a result of which has had me wiping the toilet floor all day.

Granny K's not too excited about the fact that we haven't taken the cat to the mountains yet. She's not too keen on the black cat thing. Me? I love it. She (pretty sure it's a she and if it is a he then I feel sorry for him cause he is hung like an invisible stallion) is just so pretty. That said though, Granny spent a good ten minutes talking to 'Meow' when she was trying to climb up her fly screen yesterday. Christ, that sounds a bit rude - not quite sure what on earth fly screen could be code name for but I meant the fly screen door.

Shou was very cute - decided the cat needed a blanket for nap time - and it was fuckin hot today...
Wee thing - asleep in the planter, let Shou 'put it to bed' and stayed asleep for about thirty minutes.

And besides playing with the cat - hub and I had a bit of a barney. Marina has a slight case of the runs. I made curry for tea - the Japanese kind - and got an earful from hub about how I should have made her okayu (sloppy rice). I said I didn't think that was necessary and that if he wanted to he could. Go ahead. He went off on a rant about how I should listen to him more and that no wonder the kids don't listen. I am fuckin sick and tired of being blamed for two and four year old misbehaving.  What happens in a few years when the kids are functioning properly? All of a sudden are they his kids?

'Fortunately' (??) the kids are both going through a lying stage so I can say 'oh, well they got the (pachinko) lying from you darling!

Three minutes later he gave Marina, who hadn't eaten any of her dinner, a yoghurt?? I am behind the eight ball on this one obviously. The girl has the shits. I shouldn't be feeding her curry. But yoghurt is OK? Yoghurt is all Granny K and hub harp on about if either of the kids have reverse bowel movement problems.

The 'exchange of words' ended in hub saying I should just pack up and leave if I hated it that much - this response drives me fuckin insane it does. I did not say that I hated it so much I wanted to leave. And hub telling me to leave 'his' house infuriates me to no end.  These arguments are muttered words - so that the kids don't hear a full out screaming match.

Hub has just suggested a blow job to 'make up'.


Honestly. He wants to kick me out and then expects me to get on my knees? Silly, silly, man.

He should have learnt by now that it takes ten bunches of flowers, a lot of wining and dining, coming home by half six every night for four weeks AND some kisses and cuddles for me to warrant the BJ thing.

A shag is still in play though.

Maybe I should become  a 'horny housewife' first....

seriously, the best way to 'make up'. I think I only have an hour left on my three day trial membership though!

Off I am then



Started the day very early - half bloody four with Marina waking up saying she needed to go toilet. It's her latest thing. Saying she needs to go and then when you get into her room she's all 'hi mummy, let's get up and play'.  This was followed shortly after by Shou actually going to the toilet - half in his bed but at least he made it to the loo for the main event. Sheets in the washing machine now.

We all got up and left daddy sleeping till seven - tis father's day after all!

Shou, Marina and Ryu all then proceeded to slam/jam fingers in a car door, sliding door and baking tray drawer respectively. Tears all round. They have otherwise been occupied with...

Meet 'Cheese' - and um, guess the crabs can be Champers, Chips and Chuhai. Probably not much point getting too attached to them as will be released into natural habitat later this arvo when Shou isn't looking.

Cheese is quite lucky really. If Shou had had his way it would be called 'Dora Neko' or 'Shou no Neko'. Cheese is Marina's name. I am a bit suspicious as I had just taken a photo of her and daddy....
... and said 'hai cheese' to get them to pose. Hmmmmm.  He (she?? haven't checked) arrived on our birthday. I saw the mother early morning but then it disappeared and never came back. We have had a number of stray cats turn up - and cats being born in the wood shed. We have tried to get rid of them - or rather, not encouraged them to stay. Most of them left and two have died :(

I reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllly want a dog but have given in to fact that can't raise one until the kids are big enough to help with walks and things. A cat is different though. I'm not prepared to have one in the house getting toilet trained while I have a crawling baby around though. So 'Cheese' will be an outside cat which is not ideal but we'll see how it goes. At the moment he eats on the deck and plays there most of the time. Just need to check into shots and things like that. I am surprised hub is being so positive and good about this. We are even going to make a cat stair thing up one of the beams on the deck. He has been climbing up the fly screen and getting into the deck rafters (??) and not being able to get down.

Anyhoo, enough about cats.

Yesterday hub and I did the sushi thing and we had massive talk in the car. Broached the pachinko thing and I don't know really if anything get resolved but better talking about it than not. We spoke about mum and the rest of my currently dysfunctional family. Over the past three days I have spoken to all of them and have had everyone's problems off loaded onto me - the only person still really talking to everyone else. I don't mind listening to people's problems. In fact I find it somewhat therapeutic in helping me realize that sometimes my own problems are just so petty. I do tend to keep things on board for too long when really I should just listen, make sympathetic noises, offer an opinion here and there and then try and let it go. But it's family so this is very hard to do. Hub thinks I need to try harder and not get down about other people's problems. Bloody man.

I had a huge meltdown on the phone to mum yesterday. Culmination of things. Anyway, things sorted-ish and hopefully the family will all be talking  by October!!

Dinner out last night was good - the place was a bit of a let down. One long counter, Karaoke, some food and drinks. No tables, which meant the 'mama' owner lady was part of EVERY conversation we had - and considering she knows everyone in Kunimi having her listening and joining in meant we were very limited to topics of conversation.

We won't be going there again.

I biked there and back and quite amazingly didn't fall into a rice paddy on way home...
That would be a light from our house, the light outside and the one over by the community centre across the road.  There are no guard rails on the side of the road and four beers meant I got precariously close to spending the night with the bullfrogs. A river runs all along the right side and rice paddies on the left. Made it home safe and sound though.

Right, off to the shops to get brackets to put up the cat stairs.


Friday, 18 June 2010

Skankyness and Fish 'n Chips

So I got a reply back from the Kiwi mummy blogs and I am going to get a quick link on their sidebar but not being added to their blog roll. I have just checked and the link isn't up there yet. I debated about whether or not to write this post but for the sake of all you lot, who live vicariously through gaijinwife, I decided just to post what I was going to and never mind that link on the mummy blogs that will no doubt be taken off due to my offensive references to porn.

I don't plan on making porn a common reference but I felt that I needed to share this episode as I was so shocked with self.

So last night the bubbles that hub bought home for my birthday were pink bubbles - rose of some kind. Not my bubble of choice but not one to look a gift horse in the mouth I quite willingly partook in helping to empty the bottle. He also brought two beers so again, quite willingly, I knock one of those back.

Now, usually half a bottle of bubbles and one beer is not enough to phase me. It's definitely not in the ballpark of making me act all silly, ride the stallion, and wake up with a sore head. There just MUST have been something in the combination of rose bubbles and asahi. Well that's my excuse.

So anyway, hub heads up to bed and I am here finishing my beer and surfing the net. As you do when you have a lovely computer that actually opens pages for you in less than 24 hours.  I do not recall how I came across the site - I was obviously doing a bit of looking but not sure how I linked to it or if I google searched.

I somehow end up watching short porn flick of two supposed housewives getting it on with an electrician or similar. Now I'm not a huge porn person. Neither is hub. He'll quite happily flick through the bra and panty section of the Victoria Secret catalogue and we even watched a vid at home once but other than that.

Well, having fueled the fantasy bank I head upstairs and 'ride hub like a stallion' - to use my own wording there. It was by far the most raunchiest international relations meeting of recent times. Hub was quite overcome. I can tell you that if he thinks he's getting that every night there will be NO pachinko visiting. Might be an effective course of action.

This morning I wake up, sore head and all, at FOUR THIRTY thanks to Marina and Shou. It takes a good hour to remember the goings on of last night but when I do I get this feeling of dread.

After the kids are safely at kindy and Ryu is asleep I check my online banking and whadda ya know - I now have a years membership to 'Horny Housewives'! Fuck me sideways. Or hub. Or the electrician. Shit, but not our one cause he is a complete retard.

Feeling like a skanky slutty slapper I go to the site to try and cancel my membership. Find out there is a three day trial for x amount of dollars and if I don't cancel within that time it is then 39.95 US$ a month.  Cancel membership.  Got it for two more days though....


That was hub by the way - trying to neigh (??) like a stallion.

So other than feeling like a skanky hoe today...

Ryu and I took it very easy. Very quiet morning. I spoke to my sister for a while and then my brother.

Face value this is what my family is at present...

Father - retired doctor with anger management issues and affiliation to pot (the substance not the thing you cook stuff in)
Mother - can't mention her cause she has brain tumor and that wasn't self inflicted.
Daughter 1 - financial crisis that revolves around owing parents xxx thousand dollars.
Daughter 2 - recovering alcoholic
Daughter 3 - married to Japanese man with a secret gambling problem (although not so secret as the stupid fucker keeps getting caught)
Son 1 - approaching 30 and living back at home with financial issues

Of course there is shitloads of stuff going on in each situation. My sister isn't talking to the other sister, who isn't really talking to my brother, who is maybe siding with my father, who is not talking to daughter number 1 and vice versa.

Wahoo. Trip home in October is going to be AWESOME.

I spoke to my dad too today. Mum, who had her last radio treatment today, was sleeping. Dad sounded shattered. I really feel for him. He is dealing with all this stuff with mum and then has all this other shit going on with his kids. Sigh. Hang in there dad. We'll all grow up soon enough.

Anyway, I will probably talk to my other sister tomorrow and hopefully mum if she's feeling up to it.

And tomorrow night - I'm out with Chiemi. Local place that used to be a really cool izakaya/restaurant before it turned into a cafe lounge (spelt launge). Haven't been since it revamped but apparently they do food too so we are going there for nama beer, a cocktail or two, and some fried chicken and the likes. Am well excited about this. The place is like 1km from our house and I am biking there but seriously... I get out of the house with no children so who cares where.

And finally some pics.... not very good ones but never mind...

Shou came home from kindy with this - a cookie for father's day on Sunday. This is hub. By the time hub actually got home his face was cracked in two and Shou had eaten one ear.

Finally got around to fish and chipping the shark that Heather sent down. Well the fish at least!! the chips are kumura (sweet potato) chips. THANKYOU Heather. Yum yum yum.

Yuuuuuuuuuum, this tissue looks tasty!!
OK, so perhaps that wasn't a very good idea.
Fuzzy  but you get the idea.

Right, I better hit the hay.  I just put in an email in for a translation job. 21 minutes after the email was sent to me and the job had been taken already. Bugger. Nevermind though. Should be some similar ones coming up soon.

Oh, and did you see my new widget on the right sidebar down the bottom. You choose an artist and can hear a couple of their songs for free!! Great. You have to keep the window open though.

Nighty night campers.


Thursday, 17 June 2010


Happy bubbly birthday to me!

Now that I've posted the warm fuzzies birthday post I can post the real deal. How my day has been...

I woke up - still a bit pissed (angry pissed) from the whole go go gadget slap husband for lying about pachinko thing. I didn't actually slap him - I felt like it I admit but I didn't say anything to him.

By lunch time I still have yet to hear from anyone in my immediate family by way of birthday greetings for either self or Shou. I mean NZ family. Hub and the kids said happy birthday this morning and I think Granny K might have even managed a mumble - although this is the first year I haven't been given a prezzie or card from her. Guess everyone has their limits aye.

Currently THE ONLY birthday cards for Ryu, Shou and I are from the European Stylist AND her mother (who I have never met but know is an absolutely fabulous woman who continues to send me cards and gifts for my children AND Easter eggs. Seriously. The woman makes my day about ten days a year), and my good friend in NZ. It's hard I know. We all have children now and our own lives. I am also shit at remembering birthdays and things. Family I do - well, brothers, sisters and parents anyway. Nieces and friend's children gets a bit harder and they all start blending into one big bloody birthday and when am I meant to send what to who?

Coming from me, who only hours ago wrote that birthdays should be about the mother and not you. Well, I tried ringing mine four times today. I even tried dad. I tried my sister a few times and my brother at home. I got no-one and started panicking that something was wrong so I phoned my bros mobile - and disturbed him while out drinking with the lads at the cosy club.  Everything is fine. Well, as fine as can be when your head is being zapped, you have lost most your hair and you feel sick as a dog. Mum goes home tomorrow. They can't wait.

So come lunch time I've done a bit of housework - nothing too arduous as is birthday after all. Feeling a bit like a Nigel no mates I check facebook and there you all are. A barrage of birthday messages. Thank you so much. What nice readers you are. Minus my blog and facebook today I think I would  have been feeling very sorry for myself. I didn't comment back on all of them but please know every one was read and appreciated.

I had a few messages and phone calls late afternoon - my sister and then my other sister while I was in the bath so had to say no to that. There is so much going on with every single member of the family at the moment. Even with the pachinko bullshit I am still probably the one with the least 'worries' and 'life changing decisions' to make. Obviously if the  dickhead keeps going and we don't sort this out I will have 'life changing decisions' to make, but for the time being....

I finish my English class at half five to see that my car has gone - hub has arrived home early and gone to pick up the kids. He comes home with flowers, a letter on that fancy paper, and a bottle of bubbles...
Lovely they are.

Shou also made me a card at kindy which was lovely - until Marina ripped it in half and I had to get the sellotape to it.

Ryu was pretty lovely all day too. He is into peek-a-boo (inai nai baaaaaaa) at the moment...
And me thinks some more teeth might be coming through - what with the teeth marks on the kotatsu table and all!!!
If you look closely you will notice that this onesie has been unstitched at the feet. The feet now come half way up his calfs but the rest of it fits perfect. He has thrashed these (he has three).

And I think that sums up my day. Hub is asleep on the floor after half a bottle of bubbles  - with ice.

ten minutes later - he is now off up to bed. He made some mention of money earlier in the evening and I asked after the stash in his car. He looked surprised. I shoed him the pic of his car in the pachinko carpark. I love him I do. I thanked him for the wine and the flowers and the lovely letter  (TWO PAGES of NICENESS - including one sentence about how he was sorry he had to work late so much - which made me want to burn it)

I told him the pachinko thing - he can go. That's not the problem. It's the lies and the debt that I don't know about that fucks me off.  I said we need to sort something out. He grunted and went off up stairs to bed - not sure which. Shou is asleep in ours so unless he moves the lad there will be no birthday action happening this evening.

Anyway, thanks for reading to the end of my birthday rant.

Oh, and we did have cake kind of. I bought five small chocolate log things. Granny K gave me stick about my mothering skills this afternoon so I promptly ate her bit. Bugger if I'm inviting that woman in for cake this evening. Ryu did eat about half of it though. Lucky he's a bloke cause he will definitely have trouble with the diet thing me thinks.

And seriously now.

Away I go.

Nighty night.


PS - I applied (??) to be listed on a list of Kiwi Mum Blogs. I got an email back saying my blog was the most foulest blog out of their 150 listings and that they weren't sure I was entirely appropriate. Didn't actually say that. Said 'why the swearing and anger' kind of thing.

I realize I aren't everybody's cup of tea. Bloody hell. I'm not even my own cup of cha half the time.

But can I ask you lovely lot.

Would you still come and read about life de gaijinwife if there were no obscenities, blasphemies or bitchiness of any kind??

That said, there is no way I could write a wholesome post - although my birthday one about mum today had hardly any bad words in it... !!!!

Birthday's and Thankyou's

The older I get, and the more children I have, I think more and more that birthdays shouldn't be about you but about that fabulous woman who had you. Sure, as a baby, the journey down the birth canal and squeezing out the saloon doors must have been hard going but at least we forget it. Mother's don't. The memory of the pain of child birth decreases but you don't forget that moment straight after. That mixture of shear relief that it's over, joy, apprehension, worry, excitement and LOVE.

So to my fabulous mum thank you! I think today is the day you have double radiation treatment to make up for the day you missed due to Queen's Birthday weekend. Tomorrow is the last of it and then you have a whole month off mum. I love you mum. You have always been there. My constant. The thought of a world without this is scary. Mum's make everything better. What do we do to make things better when our mum is gone?

You with long beautiful hair. And me?? I look a bit out of sorts - perhaps like someone has just kidnapped me from my parents in Scandinavia. Meaning that white blond hair of course - what there is of it anyway.

And now onto you Shou, because at 4 you aren't quite old enough to have this profound wisdom that you should be thanking me on your birthday. And also because it is nearly 10am - you were born at 9:58. Time to reflect on the last four years my son.

A bit too much for a public blog but never mind. This is you at 30 weeks darling. What with you being the first child and all I thought I was ready to pop already. And then...

Actually, comparing these pics they don't look that bloody different. You were born, ten days early and on my birthday, about a week after this pic was taken. And yes I wore those preggy pants and that bra just about every second day for six months. I'm pretty certain I wore something over the top of it most days though.

You were so damn adorable. You were perfect. Just perfect. I didn't know what the shit I was doing half the time but Granny K gave me lots of advice (insert what every you fancy).

I'm sure I spent time ranting and bitching about life back then - when I only had one child. God, if you'd told me then that in four years I would have a two and a half year old and one year old as well I would have perhaps tied the saloon doors shut. Instead they appear to have fallen completely off their hinges and you are now a big brother, twice over.

Granny A came over to see you when you were three months old. As far as I can recall you didn't do a big crap straight after this so me thinks this is a genuine smile my boy. (what is it with black and white stripes and this family)

You grew up so fast. I know you're still only 4 but by crickey where has the time gone? Judging by the size of you in this pic and the fact that I don't think I would be sliding down a roller slide either 9 months pregnant or having just given birth, your sister must have arrived and be a good few months old already.

You started getting a bit of a cheeky attitude. Don't worry son. When you're older and can handle the language I'm sure I'll be recalling your early years as living with the spawn of the devil. I'll obviously have to find some other photos to prove it though as you look far too cute in this one.

I think we do OK most of the time - you and me. It's hard sometimes though. Two Gemini's, both B (it's all about ME) blood type and we clash a lot too. Can you hang off on the calling mummy a 'baka'. I work a lot better when I'm not being called a dickhead all day.

You're at that age now where you want to just do everything, see everything, try everything on your own - unless of course it's the important shit like changing, eating and brushing your teeth. I am getting better at letting you help and showing you how things work when you ask. You can even work the blender on your own. You've only forgotten the lid once. You are becoming more and more like an older brother each day. I do feel a bit sorry for you. You had to take on the role early and mum does expect a bit too much from you sometimes.

Right son, it's half nine. This time four years ago I was shouting blue murder at the poor nurses and you were pushing that big head down and out those doors - Christ, I can almost feel the pain. Another 28 minutes and then I can breathe properly again.


Wednesday, 16 June 2010

Stupid Stupid Fucker

I type this as the stupid stupid fucker sits 1mt away from me.

I haven't been on a 'covert pachinko operation' for a while. It's a pain in the ass really seeing as it involves getting Ryu to bed and pilling Shou and Marina in the car and asking Granny K to keep an ear out for Ryu (who very rarely wakes up during that time) while I take the other two for whatever important bit of shopping I just have to do in the next town over.

Tonight it was printer ink.

Which I might add the bloody next town over doesn't stock in the one shop open past 7pm.

I don't know what made me choose today really. Perhaps a bit form the conversation yesterday got me thinking that perhaps just maybe hub is at it again - or never stopped. Honestly, a look, a single comment and the clogs start a turning. Or it could have been the full page add in today's morning paper about the pachinko parlor (in the next town over) having a special, if your a lucky bastard you'll have silver balls flooding your ankles, on Wednesday's that got me thinking...

So, come 5pm I have decided that is the plan of action but surely the fool wouldn't be after the fuckin HARD HOURS of overtime he has been doing lately. Or perhaps that is exactly it. Perhaps he is actually doing overtime sometime and then needing an outlet and going to pachinko on THE ONE DAY IN TWO MONTHS I go to check up.

Yeah, I know.  As far as I know I wasn't blond this morning when I woke up either.

Ryu goes to sleep and I pile the other two in the car. We set off. There is a false poo stop for Shou and a bit of grizzling but not too bad as i actually do have to get milk formula and toothpaste. Yes, I could technically do this shit tomorrow but it's my birthday and I would like to do as little as possible please.

So I swing by the carpark at the pachinko parlor - after swinging past the carpark in the supermarket next door (cause that's where I would park if I was a lying pachinko bitch). Once round the carpark and I actually start telling myself off for doubting the man.

On the way out and I notice a similar car in the very front carpark - so close to the front doors of the parlor it almost serves as a kick in the face. I must admit  it was a very hard to see the numberplate so perhaps the fucker has actually started thinking. A taxi pulled up and someone walked out just as I wanted to capture the moment in history so I chickened out. But then I did a U-turn down the street and took the pic - not great cause is on my phone and I was moving but I think with a bit of CSI work you could well read the numberplate.

Besides I just found 5000 yen in his sunvisor thing in his car - yes. the EXACT same place he hid it last time I found it.

He also had a package from the bookstore in his car - with some nice floral writing paper in it.

By christ I better get a birthday letter on that paper tomorrow or the man will find himself face down in the river 10 meters from the front door.

And no, I haven't said anything to the man about me knowing. He is doing a lot of deep sighing though so perhaps Granny K phoned him and  told him I was out with the kids on a night shopping extravaganza - which usually equals pachinko check.

Sick of this shit aye. Tis partly my fault - considering I aren't going to leave the fucker to be a single mother of three small children I SHOULD STOP CHECKING UP on him. I know this. I do. Really. But I can't help myself.

Anyhoo, I made this year's umeshu (plum liquor) tonight and in doing so realized that last year's is still quite plentiful.

Might go deplete the bottle a bit.

Hell, I'm in need.


Overtimes a Bitch.

I didn't post yesterday - I think it's been a while since I missed a day. Apologies to those of you who stop by expecting another daily dose of gaijiwife dramas, obscenities and the boring day-to-day shite that goes hand in hand with small children, vesting inlaws and husbands that work late EVERY FUCKIN NIGHT.

Am really over this shit. I just about cried when I found out he hadn't been moved out of the tax office. 8 years in the same office is very rare and this better be his last year or heads will roll come next April. I want compensation in the form of him being moved to the social welfare or education departments. Still some overtime but seriously in Japan even the tea lady does overtime. The tax department is just taking the piss.

On Monday night hub got home late. Last week I asked him to please circle every day on the calendar that he expected to be late. He has amazing foresight for a man. He can predict that he will be late every day until August. He hadn't circled Monday though so come Monday I am expecting him home at least in time to help get Shou to bed. Didn't happen though and so yesterday I ask if he will be home early tonight seeing as he was late last night. The bloody man bit my head off.

Hub: Christ woman, of course not. Look. See. Tuesday is circled on the calendar.
GW: I noticed, I just thought perhaps yesterday's overtime was instead of today's.
Hub: (looking very confused - as if trying to do a sadoku that has no starting numbers)
GW: Well see, Moooooooooonday. No circle but you worked late. Tuuuuuuuuuesday. Circle.
Hub: I only circled the days I have Union Meetings.
GW: So? Every day that you haven't circled?
Hub: I'll be late probably, except Thursday's when I come home early because I have to.
GW: Because I work darling... How long is this shit going to last?
Hub: Until August.
GW: In April you said June, in May you said July and now it's August?

There was then a few words exchanged about pachinko which fucked him off but I told him to pull his head in cause it was his fault I got all worked up and pissed off, while doing the kid thing on my own again, thinking that he could be at pachinko, and if not then he is at his desk at work with a coffee and perhaps the banter of the other ADULTS staying late. Wow! Adult conversation between the hours of five and eight is something I have given up on.

I do feel sorry for the man - putting up with my shit but honestly? He thinks he is sooooo hard done by having to work late. Men out there - working is hard, it takes concentration, uses up some of those man cells. Most of us women have been there and done that. We know what working late means, the stress and all. Most of you however do not know what it is like dealing with small children NIGHT AFTER NIGHT after bloody night. I am sick of being called a dickhead and told to shut up by my three year old. I am sick of my two year old trying to coax her three year old brother to jump on the sofa, the chairs, the table, the bed, and my flummy. I am sick of the one year old grizzling and packing a sad because the fact that I only have two hands and two legs means it is logistically impossible to feed and help feed three children at EXACTLY the same time.

Sigh, just one of those days I guess aye.

So, packed with angst from a husband that is going to be working late until August I got on line and booked all our tickets home - TWO WEEKS. I then texted hub to say that tickets were booked and his maximum of ten days off work has turned into 15 days. Suck it up man. Tis my payback for having to suck up the overtime.

Korean air - 500,000 yen for five of us with the kids being 75% and Ryu 10% of the adult tickets. 18 hours to get to NZ and 27 hours to get back.  Three nights in Auckland before flying direct to Dunedin which is at the other end of the country and takes longer than flying to Korea from Japan. Those domestic tickets - $100 each and Ryu is free of course. Crazy cheap.

We arrive in Dunedin at 9am. My sister, her hub and three kids and my brother arrive at half nine and at 10 we pick up the mini van to fit

  • five adults
  • three nearly teenage girls
  • two small people
  • one baby
  • two carseats and a booster seat
  • one pushchair
  • five suitcases
  • kitchen sink
  • case of vino
  • barrel of gin
I am in the process of getting the van sorted but once that is sorted the only thing left to organize is the motel in Auckland and Napier for our week there after the big family reunion. 

Shit. I guess it's actually quite a blessing hub has all this overtime.

We'll need it.

I've just put the whole trip on his credit card



Monday, 14 June 2010


This will be short. I am posting from bed - the first time EVER in the history of my owning a computer.  A lovely parcel from NZ arrived this morning - with GLEE DVD for me and of course I couldn't wait until my actual birthday to open it so have had to watch the pilot already and perhaps a couple of pre-bedtime episodes. It must appeal to a lot of people - that wanting to be good at something, especially singing. So many of us out there who think we can sing and that the only reason we haven't gone platinum is because we keep forgetting agents don't come to the shower - or the car. Those are my favorite singing places. Those and all over the house in general when I am cleaning or cooking.

Took the kids to kindy this morning and the head of the pre-school was waiting for me. She explained that she did not in fact witness the punch scene - but she did see the tussle before hand and the girl crying and just presumed it was because she got the card taken off her. The girl's mum rung her up though and all was revealed. She asked if from next lesson we could not sit in a circle. I'm a fan of circle sitting. Beats rows anyway. She suggested that a circle puts the kids in very close proximity to each other and is hard for them to concentrate without the pushing and shoving. So next time they will stay at their tables and we can use the big room next door to run around mooing like cows and roaring like lions. All good.

I had an absolute disgusting weekend food wise. All yummy deep fried, chocolatey and alcoholic goodness mind you. Have big reservations for the scales being nice to me this weigh day though.

Am having big dilemmas about tickets home.

JETSTAR - really only a good deal if you already live in Tokyo or Kansai and don't have to add domestic tickets. This option will only cost us slightly less than KoreanAir and that leaves straight from Fukuoka - and we get fed.

KOREAN AIR - 480,000 yen for five of us return. Five hour wait in Seoul on the way and a night (free) on the way back. I thought I had enough airpoints for one ticket but nope - this trip's mileage would give me and Ryu a free trip home next time though. Need to hook us all up on the family plan.

AIR NZ - 560,000 yen by the time we add domestics. It is direct but I am having trouble finding the same domestic flight I got last time - that got me there almost exactly two hours before the flight. Can't find any JAL or ANA flights now that would get us there in time. None in September anyway. They don't even have their October schedule out yet.

THAI - what NO 1 Travel came up with - same price as Korean air and I wouldn't choose them over Korean air because the flight distance is longer, I have never been to the bangkok international airport and I'm just chicken shit cause it's a new route.

Decisions, decisions. Probably Korean Air - at least they have that space half way down the plane near the toilets where you can stand and rock a grizzly child - unlike Air NZ which was very narrow.

Ooooh, can hear hub home.

Should go and welcome home and heat up his dinner.


PS - I am joking.

He's an hour later than he said he would be. His dinner is waiting cold on the table and I'm sure he can figure out how to use the microwave on his own.

Sunday, 13 June 2010

Birthday Proceedings.

Thanks Rainy Season. You hold off all bloody week and even yesterday, when it was predicted you would arrive, only to arrive this morning - not this afternoon when you fucked off. This morning. And only this morning. I cut the grass. I raked the lawn and still you came. Thanks to you we had twelve children and six adults inside, including 10 small people on speed, or P, or anything that makes you run round like a mad bastard making as much noise as possible - or crawl, but then Ryu was the only crawler.

I was kind of hoping for a sunny day and at least 8 of the kids outside - thinking perhaps the older two and the younger two might be wanting to stay inside.

Ahhh, but what can you do? One mother asked where high tiger boy from up the road was? I said I saw the weather report for this weekend and stopped inviting people just in case. I actually just forgot so I guess the rain at least gave me an excuse.

Was up at 5 this morning. Not through choice mind you, well not my choice at least. Ryu was master of the hour and I forgave him as he hadn't woken up since going down at half seven. I had a list of things to do...

1. Shape the cake.
2. Feed the baby.
3. Hard boil eggs.
4. Put on load of washing.
5. Change baby's nappy.
6. Clean surfaces that are unlikely to get trashed when the kids wake up.
7. Feed said kids that have now woken up.
8. Give Shou his prezzie from the European Stylist - big dump truck puzzle book, Lightening McQueen CD and Watch (which he is now sleeping with as has built in projector of McQueen which he can shine on his bedroom ceiling - very cool - and also projects onto fireplace, table, floor, microwave, bananas, not so well on the bread bag, very well onto the can of baby formula and daddy's pajama-ed chinchin)
9. Get kids changed.
10. Convince hub to take Marina and Shou to the coin laundry to dry the washing so that I can sort stuff out.
11. Give baby milk - but really baby is fobbed off to Granny K for bottle.
12. Make the butter icing for the cake and decorate - half way through I have reservations that in fact might turn out more like big white superchinchin instead of shinkansen. Drawing windows and doors on it helps.
13. Put baby to bed.
14. Make ham and egg sammies.
15. Make all the beds upstairs and put things like the black panther away so curious four year olds don't come down stairs waving a vibrating, circulating sword wondering what it is.
16. vacuum downstairs and mop floor in main room.
17. Have shower and get self dressed.
18. Deep fry cheesy sticks of goodness and spring rolls.
19. Put everything on plates so it looks pretty.
20. Clean teeth and wait for the people to arrive.

Actually, should probably edit that. Chiemi, her hub and her three boys arrived just before number 18. She said she would have a drink at lunch time so she took over spring roll cooking while I whipped down to the bottley.

The black panther also rarely sees the light of day, or night, these days so it was safely tucked away behind hub's thermal socks.

It was good times though. The kids were pretty good. No fighting, no holes in the walls, no huge spillages or anything else you would expect from putting that many small people in small space for three hours. God help the kindy teachers during the rainy season. May somebody muzzle bitey girl and put gloves on her scratchy hands.

Lunch was lovely. Rachel had brought some lamingtons and a yummy sausage and spud dish that I have just finished off for dinner :)

And now some pics...

So this didn't quite live up to my image. The railway crossing is gigantic and the driver of the train must have been shitting himself thinking the bars were going to chop the train in half. Must say it has transformed self well away from the creamy colored super chinchin it resembled half an hour earlier!! The window at the front is from Shou's Hyper Rescue Tomycar thing. Perfect size.

Crossing starting to lose it. 'I can't stand up captain, I just canne not do it'

Shou using Marina's girlie set she got for being the sister of the birthday boy. This is Sawa-chan who is in Shou's class at kindy. They play together all day everyday -with one other girl who is very shy and perhaps a bit overwhelmed by Shou. Sawa's mum is the mother that dropped her (other) daughter off for English faaaaaaaaaaaar too early the other week. This week I got an email full of smiley faces and what not saying that her father in law was bringing her this week. Go the Kunimi grapevine. I voiced my thoughts on the inappropriateness of me having to babysit her daughter for an extra 45 minutes, unpaid and unannounced to only one other mother, who claimed to not have said anything...

After the two Japanese families left, Rachel and her girls stayed on for a wee bit. This pic is of 'shacho' (boss) and (kouji genba no neechan - the construction site chic). After they left mummy had to take on the construction site chic. I got bossed round no end for about half an hour.

'the construction site chic has to have slippers on'
'the construction site chic has to put these stones in here'
'no, the construction site chic can not lie down'
'and no, the construction site chic can definitely not get herself a beer'
'excuse me, who the fuck do you think is running this joint? I am the boss and I say no beer and no bloody sleeping.'
'fuck her then, I'm off to catch frogs'

And I, aka construction site chic, wakes up five minutes later frantically looking for the boss, aka Shou, who is across the bridge and just about in the rice paddy looking for frogs.

Shou is now asleep and I have just released five frogs back to their natural habitat.

And last pic...
While Shou and daddy were out later - these three stayed like this for seriously about twenty minutes. Marina's mullet is from her afternoon nap - sweating like a pig. She has been changed but her hair is still very Rod Stewart.

Right, Hub is trying to insist I open MY birthday wine I got from Rachel. My birthday isn't till Thursday but hey... He probably wants some action and today has been such a long day and I am pretty knackered so  a glass of bubbles may be the pick me up he thinks I need to agree to some relations of some sort.

Right you are then.


Saturday, 12 June 2010

Cake and Cancer

Needing to head to bed. Too much time in the kitchen tires me out! Perhaps one episode of 'Numbers', seeing as that and 'The Golden Girls' are the only English things I have that I haven't watched yet.

Have made the cake but it is in the fridge as is - one plain and one choccy loaf tin shapes that I plan on icing all over in white butter icing and 'drawing' windows and shit on tomorrow morning - before placing on a railroad made of ice block sticks, complete with railway crossing. I have realized one of my weaknesses in cake-making is getting the bastard successfully out of the tin.  Thankfully I can just cover up mistakes with icing. God damn if one of the kids ever asked for a cake 'straight out of the tin mum' - 'Noooooo darling!! Can mummy please make you a to-scale replica of the Eiffel tower?'

I have also made the bacon and egg pie and the jelly and instant pudding desert cups. Honestly, jelly and chocolate instant pudding? Can't go wrong with three year olds. I'm a bit partial myself.

Marina came back from kindy unscathed again today, but this could possibly be because she went off with hello-kitty stickers covering just about every inch of her body. Sakura would have been hard pressed to leave any teeth marks even if she tried!

The forecast is for rain tomorrow but I am still hoping it holds off enough so we can at least raincoat the kids up and tell them to bugger off outside. Festivities kick off at half ten. Some playing and running riot followed by lunch and cake and home, where most of the kids will have afternoon naps.

Rang mum this morning. It was the first time I have asked how she was and been answered with 'horrible'. She is so brave. Her hair has fallen out in a crescent where the radiotherapy has been happening. Her head is sore (like a really bad sunburn she reckons) and she feels like shit. And yet, she pulled herself together and we had a 'normal' conversation for about half an hour. I have a feeling October visit home is going to be a big shock for me. I'm getting a bit scared :(

I rang the travel agent yesterday and said we wanted to go Korean air so I could use my mileage - they wont do it. Why? because of personal information laws. Since when did TRAVEL AGENTS not book tickets with partial mileage usage because of this kind of shit? Anyway, went to book online with Korean Air and realized I am 11,000 miles short of a free adult ticket. I am sure last time I looked about a year ago I had plenty enough points - have they upped them? Because I can't use miles unless I have enough for a whole ticket (??) I now have to join us all up on the family plan so that I can either use hub's points or use my mileage for a kids ticket at least.

JETSTAR was 30 man from Kansai to Auckland, with a stop in the Goldcoast. It would cost us an extra 10 man to get to and from Kansai. For 40 man we can fly Korean, get food on the plane, do the transit thing in an airport we are familiar with that has a good transit hotel and play areas, and fly from Fukuoka - and earn more mileage.

Anyway, best get off the computer.


Friday, 11 June 2010

Trying to resolve things

I spent yesterday and this morning really thinking about the kindy thing - mainly the boy punching the girl during my English lesson. I didn't end up talking to the teacher about it as I got blindsided by another mother and we had a bit of a gass and I forgot. In hindsight I think it was for the best though. Obviously I wasn't going to leave it at me doing nothing though.

On our walk to kindy this morning we passed the girl's house. It is over a paddy but we yelled out good morning and I yelled out after her face. She yelled back that it was fine and off we went. From across the paddy though it looked to me like her mother was hearing this information for the first time so I was still festering about it.

Ryu and I had a nap this morning - it was great. The kind where you wake up with drool on the pillow wondering where the fuck in China you are and why it's light outside. Deep sleep. Was muchly needed.
We then went on the first shop for Sunday's festivities. I have to do one shop two days before so that I still have a day to get all the shit I will no doubt forget. And I have - hmmmm, no butter for the 'butter icing', no juice and no ham and no salsa. Tomorrow will be busy as have to clean the house and the garden too. Hub will be here though and by god he will be helping, regardless of severity of self induced hangover after tonight's night out with the office.

Anyway, on the way back from shopping I make up my mind to go to the girls house again. I have gone over what I want to say. This kind of thing is hard anywhere but Japan doesn't make it easy to be the 'tell-taler'. I had decided to go the 'it happened during my class and that's why I'm here' route.

It was lunch time so I caught the girl's mum at home. I asked about her daughters face and she said it was fine, there was no bruising but that my yelling out this morning was the first she heard of the incident. I told her exactly what happened and apologized for not doing anything other than a very feeble reprimand of the boy in question. We talked about how the teachers shouldn't be letting this shit slide and how it is sending very bad messages to not just the boy who punched her but to the whole class.

The mother is going to talk to the teacher in charge when she goes to pick her daughter up this afternoon.

It really is hard you know. Knowing what the right thing to do is. This is a small community. I have known most of the teachers since I was working as a CIR on JET. I know a lot of the kids and the parents and if I don't then hopefully I will be teaching their children at some stage over the years.  I don't want to be the confrontational gaijin who rocks the boat but then again I can't let this happen without doing anything, especially as I have witnessed it with my own eyes.

I still plan on talking to the teacher before my next class. I also have the email of the mother of the boy so am umming and ahhing over whether to send her a very delicately worded email as well. I know I should. Then, after both the parents know.... well they can fight their own fight with the kindy teacher. I can't be referee for other people's fights. It's too bloody draining.

And about the slapper bitey bitch - well, Marina came away clean yesterday. The teachers were very happy in reporting this to me. To put in a few good words for the kindy - cause it's not all biting and punching. My kids are 90 percent of the time very happy there. They come home happy, with stories to tell and songs to sing. They very rarely put up a fuss about actually going and if they do it is because Shou has been out in the garden before breakfast and caught some disgusting crawly thing and would like to stay at home all day to watch it and try and catch more.

They get very nutritious meals, a nap and a fairly structured schedule. I don't think Marina gets enough stimulation but it's the babies class so I don't imagine the teachers will introduce too much more. She will get more stimulation when she moves up a class in April.

Of course this doesn't compensate for the bodily harm and if Sakura continues to look like she isn't calming down on the biting thing then Marina will come out until the teachers sort their shit out. Moving both of them to the other kindy is an option but at the moment they are in the same classes as the kids they will be going to school with. There is always that option though and I don't think that the other place is full.

Anyway, best get my New Zealand bag together, complete with vegemite and honey and tasters, for my first class for the year at the primary school. I can do what I want but could this first lesson please be on New Zealand - honestly, the only people in the room that wouldn't have heard this sepal before are the two teachers. Ah well. I do plan on introducing knuckle bones, elastics and the Maori stick game though so they can spend half an hour in groups playing those - and then gagging and running out to the water fountain when they try the vegemite thinking that it is chocolate. Fun, fun, fun.

Oh, and I lost 600g this week. Not great but considering the stress levels this week it is nothing short of a miracle. Is all this walking and festering I tell you.

Oh, oh, the new man teacher was in the room when the punch incident occurred. He did nothing and I now no longer think he is even remotely hot. Fuckin wimp I say.


Later - Sakura and her mum and brother have just been over to apologize - with a box of donuts (there goes that 600g) and Sakura had a special box of Kitty-chan plasters for Marina!! The mother isn't who I was thinking and Sakura's mum is very lovely girl. I can't believe she produced such a slapper bitey child, although I think I might have seen Sakura smile this evening - that's a first. It hasn't rectified the situation but it is a step in the right direction, an important one I think. Not the donuts. The apology. Now the teachers just need to shape up or ship out.