Monday, 31 May 2010
I have never met Kathy. I only know of her through the Married in Japan online group. I have just visited her website and read her most recent posts, which are from February and April. An MRI she had in December came up clear for brain tumors but by February her head was riddled with them.
Before all this stuff with mum I guess I was compassionate when hearing stuff like this but there was always that - oh well, such is life, it's someone else attitude in there too. Now? Now I hear about things and it just breaks my heart. I can't say what I want to very well so hell, I'm just going to quote you Lily, I hope you don't mind...
"Not only did she share her life, she shared her death. I imagine in response so many women in this surprisingly interconnected foreign wife community in Japan were seeing their families, their homes, their days and environment a bit more vividly. We gleaned all the wonderful characteristics that we heard about her and hoped that we could only shimmer a fraction the way this stellar woman did- at least I did....
To confront the idea of a young person dying, someone with 4 young children is any parents nightmare...how fragile mine and those I love life became...the difference now is that her dignity and wisdom she showed through-out her life and illness has made death a tad less frightening. Life and death has been stripped down to its essence for a short time..."
To read Lily's whole post click here.
If you want to read about Kathy and her life since 2004 visit her blog 'Mikan Days'.
Throughout her very expensive cancer treatment people have been sending her donations. It's a hard ask to ask for compassion that extends to your own wallet when talking about someone you have never met. But fuck it, pay pal is just so damn easy and I for one just feel that this was something I could and I should do. I didn't send a donation throughout her treatment. So even though it may seem like too little too late perhaps it might at least relieve a fraction of the burden of raising four children without their mother.
Besides, the last donation I made was to try and get a litter of pups out of Iraq and really in the grand scheme of things I think the Kathy Sugio Donation might be a bit more appropriate and closer to home to me at this time. Not that the pups aren't important.
Right, now I think I need some time to reflect. Cancer's a bitch, why on earth do I waste all my energy complaining about random shit...
But don't worry, I'll keep complaining and ranting cause that's just who I am.
God damn it this post was meant to be about the resurrection of Gaijinwife Gets Skinny. Time to take that flummy and pull it up and spit it out. If only. Never really took to the whole bulimia thing. Looks like I'll have to go the conventional route. No use of that word starting with 'D' though. Tis a psychological thing. No, no. This time I am doing a 'Four Month Challenge'. It's healthy eating, it's lots of water, it's exercise when I can and it's going to make people stop wondering if I'm harvesting a fourth child in there.
If you would like to embark on four months of healthiness and you want to have to answer to the blog then let me know and I will sign you up so you can blog on Gaijinwife gets skinny too - but obviously might have to change name if anybody else wants to join!! No skinny bitches though. That's not fair. You must have a flummy PLUS at least 10kg to shed - preferably more to make me feel better. Also need to post before and after pics. Diet blog no bloody fun if you can't see photos at the end.
I'll put a link to the blog when I've made it a bit more style and added a few diet thingies.
Right, best hang out the washing and then it's off for Ryu's check up at the local centre.
Sunday, 30 May 2010
Sunday's are usually pretty chaotic but today wasn't too bad. We definitely had a couple of fabric softener add moments and in between those...
And to leave you on another cute bongo Ryu...
"... As many of you know, 1 in 18 marriages in Japan (and 1 in 10 in Tokyo) are international marriages. Even more surprising, 1 in 30 babies born today are born to a family where at least one of the parents is not Japanese. In order to address this growing diversity within Japan we began production of this film earlier this year..." (I for one had no idea statistics were this diverse. I guess that's because down here in the middle of nowhere things aren't so diverse)
There is a sneak preview / fundraiser being held in Tokyo on June 12.
Right - Ryu awakes. Better go get him and have a play. The other two are out crab-hunting with daddy. I have a few questions to ask about gardening (of all bloody things) and long haul travel with three small children. They will be coming soon. It is a bit addictive - now that I have a computer that starts up in seconds not hours.
Marina was up at half five and she is now plonked in front of the latest Penelope DVD - her and Shou LOVE this and will watch it happily for hours on end if I let them. It is a great kids cartoon. I think the voice kind of has an entrancing hallucinating effect on the kids but nevermind. Peace and quiet is peace and quiet!
And something nice which I forgot to post about when it happened...
Lulu gave me a the happy 101 award. Thank you Lulu!
10 things that make me happy...
- Penelope (off the top of my head - the thing I am most happy about at this current minute)
- My beautiful children make me happy at least once a day, in between times I want to strangle them or put them under the stairs.
- My hub makes me happy on occasion too, in between times I want to strangle him and put him under the stairs with the rest of the family.
- The blue sky and the clean air in Kunimi (also to be read as as far away from damn civilization as possible and an hour and a half to a good cup of coffee not made by self)
- The fact that my hub has a stable job with a stable income and some bonuses to boot. Some months we struggle making ends meet but in the current climate of economies I am just glad we have some stability.
- not finding hub's car in the pachinko carpark
- being able to teach and do translation work to get money for the family kitty which helps sponsor trips home.
- big blocks of cheese and multi grain bread (oh and hell, mince pies, custard squares, sausages rolls, lamb roasts, turkish kebabs ...)
- knowing that one day people I will be 20 kilos lighter and looking fabulous.
- Those fabric softener family moments - when you catch yourself in the middle of such joy - the kids having a great time, hub being twatless (ooh, not good sounding word, 'not being a dickhead' perhaps better)for ten minutes and the world just seems right.
Saturday, 29 May 2010
So off we went.
Hub, Ryu, me and Granny K.
I haven't been in a confined space with Granny K for that long for a while and I had forgotten how utterly ridiculous she can be.
Hub and I started talking about the end of October and how it would be cheaper to go then than Christmas. That lead on to this month's finances - of which we don't have any - but how next month what with hub's mid year bonus and the government child support stipend (which we get once every three months) we should be able to recover from car warrants and new MacBooks.
Granny K's answer to our financial problems was to stop buying beer. I agree that stopping would save us money but her giving us any financial advice makes me want to wring her neck and say well you get more disposable income than anyone so perhaps you could pay something towards the mortgage, the electricity, perhaps your own keitai bill at least... ???
Sorry, don't know what fueled that.
OK, so it could have been partly to do with the next two conversations...
Me: So is your nose and sinuses actually getting any better taking the drugs?
Hub: Yeah, but I can still feel it and am wondering if it is from the cold or getting that tooth fixed.
GK: It will be the tooth and you coming home after the dentists and having that one beer that night. Honestly, if you didn't have a beer every night you'd be able to afford more stuff (true but beside the point) and you wouldn't have blocked sinuses.
Hub: (ignoring his mum), You would think if it was from my tooth though my tooth would be sore.
Me: Yes, that sounds logical (not taking piss really)
GK: Oh, well if your tooth wasn't sore then it must be from your cold because you got a runny nose and then a temperature and then.... definitely from the nose.
Sorry, not good interpretation. It was really a lot more annoying than it sounds.
Following hub's hospital visit (during which Granny K and I did shopping) we went to sushi. Granny K hates raw fish but this wasn't the only reason I chose to go. Haven't been since got back and hub said he has to go to the hospital every Saturday for the next month (it's a blocked nose people) so had to get the sushi while I could.
Granny K gets the miso soup, some egg sushi, some squid (raw) and some rolled temaki sushi, followed by coffee jelly. Hub asks her if she wants anythings else. No, nothing I can eat here at all. Followed literally ten seconds later by, I think I need something else. Hub asks what and she says anything, it doesn't matter, just order me something....
For the love of god woman.
Earlier in the morning she had had a go at me for dressing Ryu inappropriately. He must be cold she says - dressed in a long sleeved onsie, jeans and a tea-shirt and then a bloody jumper as well - on a warm springs day. If anything the lad was too hot and just pissed for having to share the car with her.
I realize of course that I have no grounds for complaining as it was me after all that suggested she go with hub in the first place!!
On the way home we stopped at the new 'Cosmos Drug' that opened this morning. This particular 'Drug' store (like many others in Japan) sells, as written across the outside of the building, HEALTH, BEAUTY, LIVING and FOOD - which obviously means tis where all the sick, ugly, hungry people who want a life shop. I guess that was us. I was hungry (as usual), hub is sick, Granny K is ugly and I guess Ryu is still little enough to come under the 'want a life' category.
Anyway, hub stayed in the car with Ryu while Granny K and I braved the crowds of people fighting for 99 yen pkts of loo paper. For 12 Rolls!! if it got any cheaper than that you'd be camping using the biggest leaf you could find.
We were seriously only in there for ten minutes max but Granny K couldn't find the car again - despite it being parked five parks from the door. She had to ask the car park patrol dude to help her look for a car with the plate '4-68'
Tis quite surprising they arrived at our '5-88' car at all.
I'm not sure if I'm a bit worried by this, or excited. Hmmmmm. Despite her fucking me off no end some times I do admit I need the old bat for a good few years yet. No time to be forgetting shit like that.
We made it home and all of sudden Granny K wanted someone to weedeat the field beside her vege patch - the field with long grass (obviously) that is home to various wildlife I'm not too fond of. Hub said he was too tired but that I would do it during the week sometime... Not impressed. last time hub cut that grass he saw three snakes, one of which he cut in half. I admitted defeat however and said I would do it sometime this week if she would watch Ryu.
Hub, so surprised by the fact that I agreed, promptly got the weedeater out and did it himself.
Good man. He may find he gets more than some 'hip 'n grind' later this evening. (wink wink)
God, he may even get some nudge nudge thrown in :)
Shit, nearly forgot a couple of pics...
Despite my love hate relationship with the woman, Ryu just adores her...
And, if you have a three year old boy and been wondering where the remote control or the keys are you should probably check the ...
Friday, 28 May 2010
Taking the kids to kindy I was stopped by the vice-principal of the primary school. Could I go and meet with the 5th and 6th grade English teachers next Tuesday to discuss plan of attack for this years once a month English schedule. Starting teaching there in June and the kindy from about then too - but that one is fully volunteer.
Met friend for lunch had good bitch about husbands, during which I somehow managed to remember that I had a one year old with me and that he needed feeding.
Did a supermarket shop, came home and made cheese and shiso stuffed chicken cutlets for dinner - yum yum. While everyone ate them I seemed to be the only one thanking me for going to the effort of faffing around cutting, stuffing, flour, egg, breadcrumbing and frying them. A thankyou every now and again, especially from hub, wouldn't go astray.
The kids went down relatively easy tonight but Shou waited for daddy to get home at 8. I might have an early night. Last night everyone slept through till half five so if that miracle happens again I might actually end up getting seven hours of sleep in a row.
Hub IS off to the doctors tomorrow and asked if I wanted to come. Selfish bitch that I am I can't be arsed driving an hour each way to sit with Ryu and wait for him to get another x-ray of his snotty nose. not sure if Granny K is going or not.
Really need to get to bed.
Thanks for all the comments re: family reunion. The jury is still out and I haven't even mentioned it to hub yet. Save that till mid shag sometime!!
Thursday, 27 May 2010
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
Tuesday, 25 May 2010
Monday, 24 May 2010
Sunday, 23 May 2010
Sunday... Rainy fuckin Sunday...
Nothing more to say really.
OK, so that would be a bit bloody boring.
All sproglets awake by six. Deja fuckin vu.
Two hours of mayhem followed by about an hour of fun family times followed by five minutes of 'mum needs to dress you lot and we need to leave the house or we will all go bloody insane'.
Daddy and Shou off to the library and mummy, Marina and Ryu to next town over to dry a load of washing (which didn't happen as all dryers rumbling full) and pop in at friends house. Catch up with them and then home again James via the shops for some lunch.
The main event this afternoon was Marina falling off our bed - her and Shou were up there jumping, after several warnings, and it ended in tears, a bloody cut lip and a short trip to the doctors. Not the best of afternoons. When do kids actually start to learn?? Obviously they need to learn things first hand aye? Springy bed and hard wall. Hmmmm, Should have piled the duvets up at that end aye.
She's OK though. Nothing one of those good hospital plasters, a barbie plaster over the top and an iceblock couldn't fix :)
Meant to take her back in on Tuesday morning but hopefully that wont be necessary.
Have just watched 'Australia' - and had big blub at the end. Best head to bed now so am all refreshed to tackle the technology required to hook up the new Mac (thanks Mr. Postman) to the modem and wireless garb tomorrow.
Saturday, 22 May 2010
This morning was hard - a lot of obscenities were issued while I tried to organise breakfast, clothes, change of clothes, egg rolls, mini meat patty things, sammies, sausages shapped like crabs, salmon, greenery, cold bacon and egg pie and strawberries.
We managed to get out the door at exactly half seven though - great effort despite fact that trip was fastest in history of trips to the city and we arrived half an hour early!
The traffic safety speal went fine even though I had to take over a bit or we would have been standing round in the bloody sun with forty kids running riot for another half hour. Snack packs - no complaints so far.
Have just realised I saved this pic as 'double buggy at the aquarium' as opposed to 'ryu and marina at the aquarium' - probably because the buggy got so much attention today. There were people that came straight out and said how fantastic it was and then there were those where the mother, who was holding a toddler while the father pushed a baby in a single pram, whispered in urgent voice to hub that she would quite easily kill his whole extended family if only she could get her hands on one of those.
This pic was taken in front of the shagging sea lions - I swear to god. The primary school kids that were there were laughing at how on sealion had grabbed hold of the other, but I know better. Randy fucker. And while they were swimming - talk about multitasking. Back flips mid shag and all.
No need to mention that obviously shutter timing not quite on the mark as shag offenders have moved up to the right of the pic because I am trying not to snort laughter.
This sealion - or whatever this animal is (love him - he is just one big flummy) - was having a feeding show. He was made to clap and poke his tongue out in exchange for fish. Was very entertaining and Ryu, Marina and I were there for about fifteen minutes until three neechans (young women - with loads of makeup and pushedup boobs and short skirts (NO, I don't feel thirty three AT ALL) decided they would rather have photos of Ryu and Marina - minus mummy of course.
Friday, 21 May 2010
It was probably off set by Ryu waking up at ten to five. Not a favorable time for a morning call but what can you do. Not getting up and letting him have a cry will mean getting up ten minutes later with three kids instead of one.
So up I got. Marina was down forty minutes later and the two of them were almost finished breakfast and on their second round of tom and jerry when Shou and hub come downstairs sometime around half six. I can't really even remember what started the mummy meltdown. No doubt Shou and Marina pretending they don't have ears (sorry Marina, but mummy is not going to sponsor a new factory in China solely for the purpose of making strawberry emossed undies for you), Ryu grizzling cause he's been up for two hours already and needing to go down again, and hub taking the fuckin newspaper to the toilet, followed by ten minutes of primping and shit doing his 2cm long hair.
I of course have not managed a sip of coffee, a bite of toast, and as for brushing the mullet and actually getting changed.... Sitting on the couch, holding Ryu with Shou and Marina moaning and all it takes is one tiny thought about mum and there you go, taps a flowing. Must have cried for ten minutes solid. Shou and Marina get all silent and move closer and eventually start to climb all over me and hug me, just about suffocating Ryu in the process. Hub is none the wiser fifteen minutes later when he's finished his thing. If he notices that I've been crying (but for fucks sake he's a man so he probaby just thinks, if he even notices, that my eyes are red from all the nagging and bitching I do at him) he doesn't mention it.
I get over it, the kids listen for five minutes and we somehow make it to kindy.
Ryu and I nap for an hour or so and then its time to go pick up the car. Granny K rings from the community centre where she went two hours earlier for her annual health check up. She needs such and such a card or they wont even start the checkup. I wonder what she has been doing for the past two hours and isn't it lucky I decided to have a sleep first or I would have been an hour away and not fancying having to drive straight back for that.
Take her the card and go pick up the car stopping on the way for a nappy change and a coffee. Some days coffee just doesn't seem enough though. God almighty, give me strength to get through the day - and not in a religious way. Bugger that, give me a red bull and a shot of vodka and maybe I'd stand a chance.
On the way back Mosburger sucks my car into the drive-through and I get onion rings - seriously, if they were at all nutritiously viable I would choose them as my one food to keep me alive on a desert island. Ryu would be a little harder to convince though. I think banana and yoghurt would be his choice.
We get home and I have to get straight into finishing the snack bags (had about 60 yen left to fill today) and starting stuff for kindy trip tomorrow. Bacon and egg pie - check. Fried chicken - bugger fuck. Completely forgot. Strawberries - bugger fuck, but luckily vestling friend of Granny K's brought round box of lovely juicy ones this evening. Score. The lunchboxes and drink bottles are out, the double buggy is folded (mission in itself) and in back of family wagon, change of clothes laid out and everything else... will have to wait till tomorrow morning.
Remember I said it was hard getting kids ready and out door by half seven? Well tomorrow we all need to be out the door at that time AND I have to have a fricken ten course gourmet lunch cooked and packed, along with everything else that a day out to an aquarium with three small children entails. Fuck it, and the weather report is for rain
Note to self - pack rain ponchos and brollies.
Best get an early night. A day of dophins, oversized squids, gourmet lunch competition and getting bashed by 31 two year olds for crap gaijin arranged snack packs.
Thursday, 20 May 2010
Wow! Two very major things happened today. Quite amazing. Amazing to me as a mother though not to you the general public but because you have the misfortune this fine evening of reading this you will be let in...
1. The kindy teachers gave me the 'Aramaki bucket' to bring home. This has been at the kindy since Shou started going a month before Marina was born in 2008. The bucket - for nappies. All the buckets for the little kids room get lined up in the hallway and filled during the day with nappies of offending child. Marina no longer needs it!! Wa bloody hoo. I have two daytime toilet trained children. Still work needed on the not pissing thy bed at night but we will get there. Yay for summer and less washing.
2. Both above said toilet trained children undressed themselves before getting in the bath tonight. Please don't read this as meaning that they usually just fly into the bath clothes and all. That has only ever happened twice. No, they both undressed THEMSELVES - quite a miracle. Shou has it sussed and now that I have seen it happen once I'm not going to touch him again. Marina got her singlet stuck and just about strangled herself. Not phased she soldiered on, coughing and spluttering and fighting for air but got there in the end. My little champion.
Two quite big milestones in the scheme of things, especially when there is a number three child to attend to. The more those two can sort out themselves the better. I think tomorrow we'll have a lesson in washing rice and turning the rice cooker on, and then perhaps the gearstick, the handbreak and how not to drive into the rice paddies.
I managed to get both English classes done today, in peace. I came back at 9pm to a quiet house and thought woooooooowwwwww, 8th wonder of the world. Two minutes later Granny K comes panting down the hallway just about scraping Ryu along the ground. He had started crying and hub was up getting Shou to sleep so she tended to the heavy mass of crying grandson. I took him off her, swaddled him to within an inch of his life, turned on the 'awesome NZ kids songs' CD (that starts with hello everybody hello everybody, followed shortly there after by kiora tamariki and then konnichiwa minasan) and put him in his pit. He must have succumed to the gentle lull and gone to sleep.
Lately he has been quite the rock star - going to sleep on his own and after a brief wake at about half eight (for no particular reason) going back to sleep until at least five. Awesome news. I think I am slowly but surely crawling my way back out of the pit of dispair that is sleep deprivation. God help summer and big fuckin spiders cause if I got up the duff again and had to lose my long awaited sleep to midnight pee trips and crying newborns I would seriously be in need of some medication.
Am sure I could get something off someone in my dysfunctional family though. Enough of various things going around.
Speaking of which, spoke to my little bro this arvo. He is actually on the lower end of dysfunctional - like myself, or so I like to believe :) He is unfortunately in the middle of a bit of dysfunction and needs an outlet to rant. He can't load it all on his new girlfriend, that wouldn't be good for future prospects of international relations meetings - although not too international as she is still a kiwi - but in South Island. I have never met the girl but god I thank the heavens for my brother having her through this. And if she can handle everything that is going on in our family at the moment then she surely will be a stayer. I for one will buy a hat to go to that wedding :)
Fuck it, I may even buy two and change them half way through.
Anything else... hmmmm....
Oh, Apple Shop emailed and said have sent puter - to arrive on Sunday - which gives me, oh, no child free time to try and set it up before this connection goes on Monday - what with everything I need being under Shou's bed and all (modem and wireless antenna).
Friend came over with her two month old this morning - who doesn't have a neck. Baby not friend. Friend is well skinny, obviously, as baby sucking back so much boob it now has five chins and no neck. Quite remarkable. 7kg at 2 months. Both parents Japanese so can't even use the half gaijin excuse.
Bought new bags for the snack bags for the kindy excursion this Saturday - and repacked them. When I went to pick the kids up the head teacher asked if I wanted them to take the snack bags to the Aquarium. The only reason I was thinking that might be better idea was because Shou will surely spot them in the back of the car and will be pain in arse for the two hours it takes to get to damn aquarium. The teachers on the otherhand think that 31 snack bags will take up loads of room - and if they looked like the snack bags from years gone by they would. I said bags are loads smaller this time and now I think they are officially worried that the kids will be shortchanged by lack of exploding brown paper bag of crisps, gum, candy and chocolate.
They still get all of the above but a bit more thought out, age appropriate and more shiney and party take home pack looking. I'll let you know how the three and four year olds react. Quite a hard audience. Little fuckers can be honest as hell.
Right, off to take myself to bed. Off to pick up my car tomorrow so a bit of driving and then buying shite for elaborate packed lunch for aquarium on Saturday. Must remember not to sit next to Chiemi's family as her husbands grandmother (as in the great grandmother of her children) will be getting up at about 4am to put the finishing touches on the lunch she has been preparing for the last 48 hours, but no doubt been planning in her head for the last three weeks! Not sure if bacon and egg pie, sammies, rice balls, fried chicken and fruit will suffice!!
Wednesday, 19 May 2010
Yesterday was a bit of a test to my patience. I walked the kids to kindy and five minutes before walking back in the door my phone rang saying that Shou had a temp and could I come pick him up. Had to drop the pram off and get straight into the car. 38.2 degrees - for an hour and then down to normal. I had given him some meddy though so thought it was probably just that kicking in.
After lunch it was still normal and I tried to convince him to go back to kindy but he was not having a bar of it. Granny K wanted me to cancel my afternoon English class but the class brings in 5000 yen for the hour and we are heading for a month of tofu and instant ramen so canceling the class really not option. God, it's going to cost us that much just to get into the Aquarium for the kindy outing this Saturday.
For about forty minutes in the afternoon before class a miracle happened and Shou fell alseep in front of his construction vehicle dvd and Ryu was napping up stairs. I was able to make dinner (nikujaga) and then sit down and have a coffee and sort out English in peace. OK, so more like an hour.
The class itself was I guess better than it could have been given the circumstances. Shou was all over the place but we were doing very boring to a three year old stuff so he was out in Granny's room a bit too. Got through everything had set so hopefully the girls didn't go home with tales of Shou jumping round the room and trying to climb on sensei's shoulders.
Went to pick Marina up and was very cute - Shou ran to meet her and then held her hand the whole way to the car and even opened her door. Too cute. They both scoffed back nikujaga-don (really just meat spuds and carrots with a soupy sauce on rice) and the only thing that sparked me up was Shou using his bath toy waterpistol to shoot the TV and one of my books. Ooooh, mummy not happy.
Anyhoo, kids at kindy today and Ryu sleeping. I got back from kindy and Granny K told me to turn the TV to NHK. Came in here and turned it on - straight to speal about looking after vestling on-the-decline inlaws that are living with you and how shouldn't be embarrassed to leave it to the pros. Very interesting. Think perhaps Granny K, after seeing a few mummy meltdowns, has started thinking her chances of survival are better if she goes into a home with round the clock care instead of bitchy daughter in law complaining everytime she needs to change her vestling nappy or spoonfeed her sloppy rice.
This was followed by section on marriages and the divorce rate and the different hurdles at different times of marriage.
This is basically what was said - in gaijinwife words of course.
Newly wed (43% of divorces happen within the first 5 years)
You marry your bloke cause you think he's a bit of all right and that you will be happy and grow old together. Doesn't take long to find out that he can be a bit of a fuck wit sometimes, farts while you're eating, gives you a bit of lip about how you clean and cook and skives off to pachinko on the sly. Also mentioned the having kids, buying a house and living with inlaws to cause 'hiccups' in these first years. Christ, I've still got the bloody hiccups.
6 - 10 years (11% of divorces)
Money problems is the main reason for divorce. Kids get bigger, you're getting over the shitty bums and sleepless nights but start thinking about how much the rugrats will bleed from you before they are old enough to kick out of home - and then they keep bleeding you dry for varsity and god forbid longer.
11-20 years (28% of divorces)
Your lives start going on different paths - ships passing in the night kind of thing. Hub has work and you have the house, kids and mummy friends. The small things you put up with at the start because kicking him out of home would have left you a single mother of three under three are starting to piss you off again. For the love of god will the man not suck his butt cheeks in until he's walked that extra two steps out the door and closed it before letting a big one rip? And he's fifty for god sake, he doesn't need to report every time he's going to the toilet for a big crap.
21 years - (18% of divorces)Main reason for older divorce used to be because hub had retired and was at home all the time sitting on his arse while the wife continued to 'work' doing the same thing she always had. No god damn retiring from washing, cooking and vacuuming. Now adays the main reason is hub retiring and wanting to do what he wants, regardless of what wifey wants. Communication breaks down and couples stop telling each other the little things - like I love you and fancy a shag love.
Oh, and on the news that got reported while this program was on there was a segment on a new book - looking after/raising grandchildren. It outlined the differences in child raising back then and now. I think it is supposed to help the grandparents now in looking after their grandchildren in such a way as to not fuck the parents off. Back then it was thought that cuddling and rocking a baby too much would get them into the habbit of always being held. Now? The book says that cuddles are 'nutrition for the heart' - isn't that great. My translation of course - Japanese was 'kokoro (ni)no eiyo' or something.
Right, so that post was a bit all over the place. For some reason (I've stopped wondering with this computer) my curser pad and mouse won't move at all so I might not be able to get back up to put in a title. New computer finally got OKed through the Apple Shop. They wouldn't accept my initial order as I tried it with my JCB credit card - but am unable to pay in installments so put it on hub's card - after a bit more faffing around caused by this piece of shit. Shouldn't be long though till I'm up with the play.
Monday, 17 May 2010
As Marina was lounging round just in her undies, her blond mullet and drinking some water out of her mug I was thinking how much she looked like Hugh Grant's friend in Notting Hill - the one he flats with. What's his name? Obviously, when she grows up to be stunning and gorgeous I will have to delete this post!
Today I took the car to get its WOF (warent of fitness or shakken). Our Honda shop is an hour away in Nakatsu. I haven't driven my car for coming up to two weeks now. Is making a couple of scary noises and would much rather hub be blown to bits than me and the kids, so have been driving around with three car seats in hub's little K-van.
Got quite a nice car to use while WOF being done. Should take a few days and can go pick up on Friday. WOFs in Japan for a big engine / white plate car usually cost at least 80,000 yen (about NZ $1200) regardless of whether your car has anything wrong with it or not. A few random noises and we are forking out 150,000 yen (about NZ & $2200). I could BUY a car for that price in NZ - hell, I could have bought my 1972 Vauxil Viva three times over. Not now though. Would be a classic now and would probably have to pay ten times that.
Ryu and I stopped in at Rachel's for a pit stop. Haven't seen her since girls weekend in Fukuoka I don't think. She's looking fabulous and Erika was having a great time tossing a beach ball about and making Ryu crack up.
We went past the really good 100 yen shop on the way home and I got round one of 'snack packs' for 31 kindy kids. Went to the supermarket next door and did round two. I now have to sit down and work out money and how much is left of the 300 yen per child.
Came home and printed out the labels and stuck them on the crap fuckin paper bags I had bought. Might have to re-invest and get some better ones and use already bought ones for wrapping offensive nappies in or something.
The one on the left is the one for the babies class - which Marina is in. She would probably prefer the older kids one but have to draw the line somewhere and she is the oldest in her class by a long way. There are no baby babies in that class by the way - I think the youngest is walking. But still too young for bloody chewing gum and the likes of what they got last year. The older kids (Shou's three in his class and the pre-schooler 17) get gumi things and either kamenrider cards (for the boys) or cutsie sticker things (purikura) for the girls.
It took ages longer than anticipated to get them into the bags so dinner had to be flagged in exchange for ordered noodles, which I picked up on the way home from kindy.
The kids ate, the kids bathed, and the kids went to bed - well two out of three. Just watching the last of a John Deer DVD and then Shou will be asleep too. Hub is late again, oh, which reminds me...
This morning hub takes his temperature. He is after all extremely sick, made even worse by having to spend whole day with children yesterday. His temperature??
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, Ring the paremedics.
I took my temperature - just to see.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, and I am so fine.
Doctors, nurses out there. Is there something with men. OK, well, obviously I know the answer to that. What I mean is, do their man bits get all hot and sweaty at 36.8 degrees? Are their sperm sitting there in a sauna freaking out they might sweat all their manliness away??
Hub tried to tell me that 36.8 was a 'temperature' for him because he is usually 36.5 - but that 36.9 wasn't a temp for me as surely that must be my usual temperature. Me thinks my extremely very slight, hardly notcieable, raise in temperature was cause just about to blow stack at pathetic husband.
Anyway, pathetic husband has just come home and taken over Shou duties - it was ten past nine and he was still not asleep. Hub, twat, was so fuckin noisey coming in that Shou heard him and immediately wanted daddy.
Sunday, 16 May 2010
Have just had belated birthday yakiniku! Not sure if there will be any other belated birthday prezzies. Hub will have to wait and see how lucky he gets I guess.
He was feeling a lot more chipper today which was lucky. He took Shou and Marina to the park and they were gone for a good three hours!! God, who cares how many icecreams, coke and octopus balls they get fed if that's the deal. I was able to actually do some house stuff - and watch a CSI while Ryu slept. I think I might have even managed a whole cup of coffee before it got cold.
The afternoon was more hectic. Marina crapped her pants which is never fun times. Hub tried to get her back into nappies but had to squash that idea. Can't regress on the potty training. She is doing so well. Just having a few problems with the big ones. Shou pissed all over his trousers too - he is liking the not having to take all his clothes off to pee thing but sometimes he gets sidetracked and getting it all in the toilet isn't first thing on his mind. Bloody male. I'm getting a bit sick of cleaning up pee.
There were a few other moments. A 'lovely Sunday afternoon with family in the garden' moment, followed not long there after by an 'I wish I was single and backpacking round Europe' moment. Can't suck em back up though. Pretty sure the saloon doors don't flap back the other way. So I guess it's onwards and upwards.
Shite, there goes Ryu. Best go snuggle my NEARLY ONE YEAR OLD (arrrrggghhh) back to sleep.
That was arrrrggghhh as in weep weep, baby baby year is over. Soon they'll all be in their thirties with families and talking to each other about us. God forbid one will have hit the bottle, one will owe us shit loads of cash and the other will have come back and be living at home. And if we had another that one would have arsed it half way round the friggin world to go live in some small tribe in the himalayas with fucked up cultures and a language nobody else in the family can speak.
As parents we have so much to look forward to!
First things first though.
In this new light cleaning up pee from in, on, and around toilet bowl seems OK. Nothing to complain about really.
Will just go kiss them all goodnight. While I can still get away with it. Starting to understand the 'enjoy them while they are young, they grow up so fast' thing. Scary.
Saturday, 15 May 2010
Happy Birthday Hub!! 45 today. He spent the whole day in bed feeling like a dog with a man cold. He had a towel wrapped round his neck and slept under about ten layers of blankets in a dark room. He came up for air briefly at lunch time when he scoffed back some instant noodles and then retreated back upstairs for another four hours.
I was kind of expecting a different kind of day. No shopping for shoes, no sushi, no afternoon international relation meetings, no yakiniku. We DID do the birthday cake though.
Surely no need to explain that Shou was in charge of decorating! Kind of like the marble effect though. Not quite the 'Happy Birthday' I had in mind but who cares. Tasted good - with mikan and banana in with the cream in the middle.
Oh - program on TV has just said that dressing in fleecy PJs and sleeping a fever off under ten layers of blankets is old school - best thing to do is sleep in single t-shirt and have cold faceclothes under your underarms and around your neck. The program is on what people still do that is old school and actually not very effective. Granny K (and hub) should be watching this but at 8:55pm I am the only person awake in the house!
Might go get me an early night though. I gave hub a birthday cuddle before he took Shou off up to go to sleep and he tried to do the hip grind, saying that the superchinichin has a raging temperature - HOT HOT HOT. Me thinks I should wet a facecloth and wrap that round it to cool it down.
Friday, 14 May 2010
Well, last night was a lot better than I had been anticipating. Shou's temperature was a one bullet affair and he was back down to normal this morning and much to his disgust packed off to kindy with Marina. Ryu and Marina both slept well and despite being woken up at half five all in all it wasn't horrendous by any stretch of the imagination.
I was still a bit worried though - thinking that I would get a call from the kindy any minute saying that Shou's temp had gone up again. For this reason I came back from dropping them off and got straight onto the housey stuff. I then spent half an hour making lovely little name tags for the 31 kids going on the parent/child excursion to the aquarium next Saturday. They will get glued or stappled onto the 'oyatsu' (snack) bags I have to buy. 350 yen for each child. Hopefully be going somewhere in vacinity of good place to buy all this stuff tomorrow, although hub has a dentist appointment at half ten ....
One of his fillings fell out the other evening and he went to the dentist the next day but in typical Japanese fashion has to keep going back once a week for ten minutes for the next seven years to get it fixed properly. I am hoping he will still want to do the sush thing for his birthday lunch and then shopping for shoes and meat for dinner. Christ, if we don't get out shopping he might well try for the alternative. Can't really turn the man down on his birthday can I?
Ooooh, speak of the devil, he has just walked in the door. Feeling like crap. No doubt whatever the kids had/have. He wont be feeling up for anything at this rate. Hope he can at least muster some enthusiasm to eat cake! Shou and I made one this evening - to be creamed and what not tomorrow. It was just as Ryu and Marina were sleeping so we went outside to cream it - quite an adventure really. Probably has a few mozzies or flies in it, but nothing a good baking didn't fix I don't think.
Finally got to speak to mum today, after they had left their little unit at the oncology place and made it home for the weekend. She sounded really good and the biggest thing seems to have been finding out that she qualified for the large stipend from the government to go towards her wig. Smaller stipend for people whose hair is expected to grow back :( She should be able to pick her wig up next week and get it fitted and wear it enough to get used to herself with it on, before she actually needs it.
I hope she has a nice relaxing weekend and that dysfunctional family doesn't show its head. Needs to be some 'sucking it up' done. This means 'gaman' - tis relatively new NZ slang?? I hadn't heard it before I went him this last time. 'suck it up' - get over something maybe? Tis very useful term, especially of late when a lot of it needing to be done! She's our mother, wife for gods sake. Can she not at least go through bloody chemo in peace please. Harrass her, ignore her, bitch to her when she is getting on the mend and able to harrass, ignore and bitch back. This is only the end of week one of six. This time next week, in two weeks, in three weeks, four weeks and five weeks she will just be progressively worse - well, more tired and whatnot.
Shite, thats Ryu again. Hub's turn I think. Perhaps tonight will be the night we thought we might be having last night! Sleep darling boy. Please don't cough your insides out. God I hope the meddy we got yesterday for him actually works this time. Whats the point in trying to police eight different types of meddy to three children twice a day if none of it bloody works.
Thursday, 13 May 2010
Rang up NTT this morning and asked them to extend our connection until Monday week. I rang from the hospital carpark so couldn't check whether it had been turned off or not as was too early when left house. She checked it out and rang back - OK, hasn't been disconnected. Monday week fine. Get home just before lunch and try to crank up internet - not a working. Ring her back and she rings a few people and provider doing system maintenance so will be back on in an hour - and here we are. New computer should arrive and fingers crossed will get all sorted out before this gets disconnected for real.
Le Hospital de Aramaki
Granny K kind of bad mummy bullied me into taking Ryu and Marina to the doctors this morning. They both had coughs but genki otherwise. Doctors we go to very popular so unless you go at the end of the day you have to get their as soon as registration starts up at half eight - which for us means leaving the house at half seven.
Do you know how hard it is to feed dress and get ready to leave house three small children and self? By half seven? Needless to say I am fuckin superwomen and we were pulling out the drive at 7:31am.
Shou off to kindy and Ryu and Marina to doctors where they were the healthiest looking people in the room, all smiles and running round - or smiling and just kind of bobbing for Ryu. Ryu got the steam thingy and they both got three types of powder meddy again and some stickers.
Marina was fine to go back to kindy so back she went.
Phonecall at half three - Shou has a temperature of 38.5 and is howling like a sick cat. Leave a sleeping Ryu with Granny K and go to get Shou and take him straight to doctors - again. He'll start to think I fancy him.
Shou was a lot sicker than the other too - his eyes had lost that three year old tantrum terrorist gleam. He was all cuddles and sleepy eyes and sore and aching body. 39.6 when we got to the doctors. He got a bum bullet on the spot (wasn't too thrilled about that) and then two types of meddy and life time supply of bullets.
Heading home and five minutes to go and power chuck from the back seat. Purple projectile. Fortunately he got most of it on his trousers so off with those and the rest of the journey home in his undies and t-shirt.
Granny K tried to tell me it was the tiny small kiddy sized grape juice he had - which had been a good 40 minutes before he vomitted. She then said it was his cough - which he hasn't got. The doctor reckoned he didn't have the vomitty / shitty bug and I am thinking it was his temp, his not feeling too flash and forty minutes half asleep in a warm K-car - as in feel all those bumps.
He has gone to bed with a puke bowl and towels anyway. So has Marina - just in case. Ryu's bed has been raised at one end as that is meant to promote better breathing and not getting so bunged up. They all went to sleep quite well but at le hospeeeetaaaaal de Aramaki we aren't holding our breath. Gotta take the peace and quiet when we can though, it could be a rough night.
Thursday English Classes
Nada and nada.
Got a txt from her at lunch time saying she had done her first hard sodoku since the operation. This had been worrying her as she is quite a seasoned sodoku solver. I have tried to ring her a couple of times since she started treatment but to no avail. My unbloggables sister has spoken to her - but then perhaps mum thinks she is a bit more 'fragile' at the moment, whereas I am just hardcore, made of stone, and not needing the talks so much. Nevermind. I will start stalking her and she goes home tomorrow anyway so I should get her or dad sometime over the weekend at least, before they head back for more treatment on Monday.
Ouchy ouch (men stop reading)
I woke up to aunt flow, the rag, my period this morning. Same old same old I guess except that with things being so busy I had kind of forgotten and therefore had no tampons in the house. Pads - had shitloads of them as after pushing melons out saloon doors, a bit of choki choki and stitchy stitchy you really want the biggest fluffiest fuckin pads you can find. Had whole cupboard full.
Not pad girl really, but what can you do. Pull down the suck my flummy in pants and insert pad - has those sticky wing bits but as my suck my flummy in pants are also suck my thighs in pants they go right down to my knees and therefore not ideal but nevermind. Up the pants go, all fine. No worries.
About to head out to doctors at 7:25am and suddenly start looking for tampon - there has to be one bloody tampon in this damn house. I finally find one in old nappy bag - along with dried up packet of bum wipes and newborn nappy.
Back to toilet where I try to pull the super pants down - holy fuck fuck fuck and shag me sideways, the sticky bits of the pad have attached themselves to the saloon doors and my god, I think I gave myself a brazillian, or a new york, or whatever. Christ. I'm not even sure if childbirth was that painful. Tis really just like pulling big plaster off fanny. I've never had a proper brazillian - why would you drive two hours to a beauty place to do it when you can just get pregnant, wait 40 weeks and get it done free during contractions while you wait for the melon to shoot out the saloon doors?
Anyway, enough about sticky pads and saloon doors.
Caught up with Chiemi for lunch. Hadn't seen her for about a month so that was good. Ryu joined us of course and is officially no longer an easy to take out baby. I used to be able to plug him with a dummy or a bottle and he would be happy as larry. Now he has to touch everything, smile at everyone, move, bob around, sway, grab ...
Hmmmm, I think is all the news I have to report today. I think Shou will probably be home from kindy tomorrow but hopefully Marina will be OK.
It is hub's 45th birthday on Saturday. He is a bit funny about it. He said it is the first time he has thought fuck, half my life is over!! If he lived till 90 he would be the first in his family - ever ever ever, so you obviously don't get your hopes up with those kind of statistics. I asked him what he wanted for his birthday - fully preparing myself for him saying 'blowjob' - and he wants some shoes for work.... and yakiniku.
Hopefully we don't have vomitty kids to deal with and we can slurp beer and eat fine meats to celebrate his turning of age.
Wednesday, 12 May 2010
I was all set to go buy a PC this morning but phonecall from sister (unbloggables one - see below) and friend and had convinced self I had to get a new mac - which meant buying online. It was a bit of a huuha really, not due to apple store at all but more cause this computer (which is still connected to the dialup and will be cut off by our provider tomorrow morning) takes so damn long to open windows and decided it didn't want to show me the 'add to shopping basket' button. Probably the most important button in the scheme of things. I found the blank space of white screen that was obviously the button though and clicked, clicked a few more times, entered a few numbers, and in a few days time I should have me a powermac. Power baby. Yeah. That means I should be able to access facebook and the likes. A different world really.
The electrician finished the modem installation and then fucked off - showing me the piece of paper that said he wasn't required to do more than that (is free campaign by internet provider) - not that he was actually able to do more than that. In fact he had the cheek to ask if could watch while I set up the wireless antenna - a bit of benkyo (study) he said.
Neither of our current computers able to connect though so as of tomorrow morning sometime I will be off-line, unless I can get them to extend our dial up for a week.
So, my unbloggables sister rang this morning. The first thing she did was appologise for falling off the wagon and not being able to meet me at airport when left Auckland. I said was more fucked off about possible last twenty minutes with mum overshadowed by her and the fuckin bottle. She has 'surrendered' herself to the truth now so hopefully this time round is the real deal. Surely there are only so many times loved ones can put up with it though? I for one do not intend on whole heartedly believing anything she says for the next year or so. Tough love maybe but shite, the past year is record of the lies and deceit. That said I am glad she is back with her family and I do hope it works out.
I spoke to a good friend and my other sister also today. My friend tried to tell me that her family was just as dysfunctional as mine but I beg to differ. Sorry friend, your parents and sister need to come to the party with something more off the rails, but thank you for trying to make me feel better.
I txted and tried to ring mum. She txted back saying all going well and that she was ordering her wig tomorrow.
Woooooooooooooooooooh. That really hit me. For some reason reading this really got me upset - as much as possible when in middle of saying goodbye to English kids and their parents.
She has only been having treatment for three days. Is it even possible for chemo and radio to act that quickly and make her lose hair? Is she just doing it 'in advance' for when it does happen or seriously is she losing it already? Scary. Makes it hit home that is really happening I guess.
My English kids turned up at 4, along with a new girl - whose mother I met at one of Ryu's jab's about two weeks or so before we went home. She mentioned the whole English thing, I obviously said yes, and here we are. Quite good really as unexpected new student will pay half monthly Apple Store payments!!
I'm sure there is more to write but am sleepy as. Ryu been sleeping really well - taking a bit to get to sleep but once he is there he hasn't been waking up till about half five or six, which for me is easily doable if I don't have to wake up during the night.
See you all in about a week I guess.
Tuesday, 11 May 2010
What a commedy act. Have to laugh really or I might get really pissed off and burn the incompetant bastard's house down!
This 'next post' was meant to be from shiney new computer, or at least from my Mac. As it happens the 'refuses to die' piece of crap I always use is still plugged in and running.
I rang the inbred electrician while I was looking for antenna thing at the store this morning. Did I need to get a modem as well? I'm a bit useless when it comes to this kind of thing but that is acceptable as people don't pay me for my electrical skills and knowledge. For all I knew this buffalo wireless antenna thing might have a built in modem. For all I knew modems are a thing of the bloody past and modem type waves move between computer, antenna thingy and hole in fuckin wall. Who knows.
Electrician speaks to me like am dumb foreigner, which is in itself acceptable I guess as I talk to him like his father is his mother's brother.
He turns up at our house at 1pm and would like to know if it is OK to come and do his thing after lunch.
He arrives back at 2pm and promptly sets up his ladder, faffs round on his keitai for twenty minutes and then tells Granny K he will fix her TV so she can see satelite BS first. (BS actually satelite name and not standing for bullshit).
Fuck it, he can't remember if he pulled the satelite wire under the floorboards four years ago when he did the wiring for the house - not my choice of electrician of course, I would have rather had papa smurf, ALF and a partridge in a pear tree doing our wiring. Granny K and I BOTH try to tell him that we think he did - and both remember him saying that even though Granny K didn't want satelite now she might later on and so best to do the wiring now just in case. Sensible man. Now if only he could fuckin remember the one sensible thing he has done these last four years.
We can't convince him though and so he decides to pull up the nailed down floorboards under the tatami mats in the alter room. The tatami mat he then leans against Ryu's cot - dusty side facing cot. He has rung up reinforcements in the name of vestling man from down the road. He squirells himself down under the floorboards only to re-emerge fifteen minutes later covered head to toe in dust and dirt declaring that YES, infact he had pulled the cord through four years ago.
He then spends an HOUR fiddling round with Granny K's television - all the while Ryu is bastardly tired but unable to sleep as his afternoon nap space is mid-wiring.
Granny K's tv finally shows the satelite but now the normal cable TV has gone up the fuck and it turns out he needs to put a new something or rather around the something or rather that requires him going up onto the roof - off which unfortunately he doesn't fall which would mean I would have valid reason to employ someone whose name doesn't start with RE and end with TARD.
Finally he gets around to attaching the modem upstairs in Shou's room. It turns out he needs to attach the modem and then the wireless antenna - so no small little box attached to wall like I thought. Big complicated array of wires and boxes that all need to hide under Shou's bed collecting dust and waiting either for a little boy to find them and decide they need taking apart, or a fire to break out.
Actually not that many wires at all but the big black one that is poking out of wall at moment looks remarkably like snake tried to beat to death with rake the other day.
So, FOUR hours after he arrives he leaves - and I still have no wireless connection. He mumbles something about virus protection and whatever it was he was doing not working properly and he needs to check with so and so or call such and such or slit his wrists - which would really be the best solution.
He was still here as I was teaching my English class.
But hey - it gets better.
He CAME BACK as I was still teaching to say that he couldn't find his phone and could he check up stairs. It was unfortunately on manner mode so me ringing it made no difference. He couldn't find it. He said He will look at home.
Me thinks if he can't find it at home he will be back tomorrow to lift up our fuckin floorboards again.
Sorry for the very inpolitically correct post.
Feel free to contact me if you fancy a laugh, a few extra wires and complete twat of an electrician. I will stuff him in a box with his bag of tools, that may as well be a whisk, a can opener and box of nipple shields for all the good it does him, and courier him to you - free of charge.