Thursday, 25 March 2010

Forgiven but not Forgotten

There were no fleeting feet touches in the middle of the night. Five minutes before I went to bed Shou woke up so hub went in there to settle him and stayed the whole night. Would have been me otherwise though. Like snuggling up to Shou.

Nobody woke up until quarter past seven - which is late of bloody late for us. The kids are usually fed and being chased round the house trying to get socks on by that time. Somehow I still managed to bustle them out the door at the same time of 8am. Hub and I didn't talk to each other before he left although he was on 'I'm sorry' mode - doing more than usual. Washing AND drying the breakfast dishes and only spending five minutes doing his hair, instead of ten rah rah.

I got a few mails and txts throughout the day and I thought that each time perhaps it might be hub with his tail between his legs - if that is even possible through an email. You know what I mean. But no. No appology during the day. I told myself the only way he could redeem himself after fuckwittage events of last night was with large bunch of florals and some beverages for after English.

He walks in just before six - fast considering his 'March' carpark is a ten minute walk away and it takes him 30 minutes to get home. And they have to stay at their desks until 5:15 - so he practically flew his lieing ass out the city hall doors at 5:15 and 4 seconds.

He must have spent his lunch break scoffing down food and then driving to the florists. Not the good lady who does very modern bunches but the father of silly twatty 25 year old who smashed into the back of my car six years ago - who really is only good for a forty dollar bunch of flowers that only look nice from straight on and have very long stalks. Granny K didn't ask any questions when I borrowed one of her vases (as in she turned the thing herself on the potters wheel) and was probably relieved she would live to see another day with her bloody gaijin daughter in law and noisy but very cute grandkids. Better than the alternative.

So I got lovely bunch of flowers, a cuddle and even an appology - IN WORDS. WOW!! I knew he could do it because he has said sorry before.

So I guess have no choice but to keep the lieing fucker on a bit longer aye.

I think what you think you would do and what you actually choose to do in any given situation can be so different. There are so many things at play. Sure, I entertain the idea of upping and leaving some times but then reality hits and for ninety percent of the time the current situation is preferrable to a life of me and three small ones - if in fact, given that I only have a spouse visa, I would actually get them with me.

Japan tends to go with the Japanese parent - whereas I think in a lot of western countries kids going with the mother is more common. That said, I think he probably wouldn't put up much of a fight - not because he doesn't love them but because if wanted to keep working he doesn't have much choice. Not while they are this little and Granny K can't drive and refuses to look after more than one child at a time.

Going off on a tangent though. No need for that. Peace has been restored to the florally smelling gaijinwife household for another day.

But THANKYOU so much for all the comments. I burnt two pieces of toast while I was reading them this morning. Having a good laugh safe in the knowledge that I have a band of gaijin wives out there ready to come slap some sense into my husband should the need arise again.

Forgot to mention yesterday that my new passport arrived so I am off to the immigration office tomorrow to get visas stamped over and a re-entry permit. And to ask about the letter hub has to write that will 'allow' me out of the country with my own child - so the authorities know I'm not trying to kidnap him. Obviously I'm going to tell hub I lost the first one so he writes another one and so I have one 'on hand' just in case.

Starbucks isn't too far a stroll away from the immigration office so Ryu and I may have to just pop in. The photo place rang today and said his pic is on display in the window from today until half way through April. Would like to go admire it but is half an hour away from where I need to be so might flag it.

Mum was able to fly home today - or rather to the hospital close to home. This is great news. We thought Sunday or Monday. Her and dad got the flying doctor plane again. She was up and about this morning, still with a sore head but lots better than yesterday. She was allowed non-immediate family visitors today and had four in quick succession before being told to pack her bags cause she could go home. I should be able to talk to her tomorrow.

Got back from English tonight and two of the three sproglets were up - 9pm. The house was a complete bombsite and after spending ten minutes picking things up and thinking I was making good headway I noticed that Shou must have emptied the fuckin holepunch behind the couch. Awesome. That can wait till tomorrow.

They are all now asleep and hub keeps looking at me as if he would fancy some international relations.

Aha, so thats what the flowers were for.

Unfortunately for him I am still holding a grudge about the 60kg is too fat comment.

Not getting much action with those kind of comments.

Best be off.



Sara said...

Yay for flowers! Although I think they should have maybe been pachinko funded bling flowers.. but thats just me ;)

Enjoy your starbucks theres no doubt you deserve 1 or 3...

Glad to hear the passport came through, when are you planning to go back.. judging from what you wrote on my blog not until past mid-April?

Anonymous said...

I'm a lurker, but I really enjoy your blog. I once considered leaving my husband, but couldn't figure out how to get my new Microwave and two small children onto an airplane. LOL. (This was in the 70's when Microwaves cost $500). Hang in there kiddo. It will all work out.

kuri, ping & the pinglet said...

Glad to see that you've made up, at least your hub is being slightly more human today. I hope that it continues! I didn't have time to leave a comment yesterday, but everyone pretty much said what I would have said (but they said it much more eloquently than I did!). You have a nearby foreign wife would would be MORE than happy to take the drive down to Kunimi to "pay a visit" ;)

Oyomesan said...

Yup - the times I think about leaving...I then start thinking about the stuff on the shared computer, the cat, the house plants...and by about then my resolve to Start Afresh Alone is weakening....

I reckon Pachinko Parlours should have Flower Shops attached so that customers can trade their balls (silver and hairy) for floral peace presents.

illahee said...

i can join kuri for a gaijin wife posse, if needed....and i can bring three destructive hoodlums who would love to pry hubcaps off of cars, or at least have the chance to try....

have fun today!

Rachel said...

I've never been asked for a letter of permission in either Japan and New Zealand, and I've lost count of how many times I've traveled with my kids. It's a requirement for traveling to to Canada, but neither NZ nor Japan have such a law. So get one if you feel safer with it, but rest assured that you don't actually NEED one.

harrumph! (or whatever that annoyed sound is) - the spellcheck on this comment box is questioning ZEALAND! The cheek!

Bryn said...

Good boy assclown! So glad things right again, it's so stressful when they go wonky, and def. not what you need right now!

You're so right about what you think you would do in a certain situation, and what you'll actually do when that terrifying situation is staring you right in the face. I am SO not fierce, independent "I don't need no man!" kind of woman I always proclaimed I'd be, now that years of single parenting and long, lonely nights are stretching out endlessly in front of me!

Nay said...

Glad that things between you have been worked out :) Flowers are always nice - although I don't think I have ever received a bunch from Naoki, LOL!!

Gosh there have been a couple times when I really wished I could just get up, leave Naoki and go home to Australia. But even without 3 kids in the picture it just seemed easier to stay and ride it out... Sometimes I don't know if that is a good thing or not though!!

Jen B said...

Wow, this international marriage thing sounds tough..!

Admiring your energy here; I have three fish and it's about the most I can handle :-O