Another day - slipping in, slipping out, is it real, is it not, kids playing up, forget for five minutes, get some me time, remember...
Hub took the kids out for a couple of hours this morning and Ryu slept while I did some work. Tis a good mind user - the one I have on is due on Thursday. That big 145 page one. I decided to keep it on as very easy and fills time. The urgent one I got on Friday morning I sent back just as urgently on Friday afternoon after 'the phonecall'. They understand though and have sent a flag out to the other project managers to not email me for work until I am ready.
This afternoon Ryu and I went to Jo's to get her to sign 'the ugliest passport photo in the history of passport photos' - she was quite impressed and only just agreed on signing it as 'true likeness'. Her kids were home which was good as meant that I couldn't break down the minute I walked in the door like I thought I might.
I spoke to my sister this morning. She was feeling the effects of a hard night last night with her hub and her best friend. And not the go out and dance till dawn type of hard night but the teary cry till you've got no tears left, talk till you've got no voice left, drink till you've got no wine left type of hard night.
I need one of those I do. Unfortunately circumstances don't allow it - what with best friends being thousands of miles away and all. I have more of a teary cry till your child or your mother in law walks in, talk to yourself in your head so as not to scare your children, drink till you've got no asahi left type of nights - although Friday and Saturday night I was in bed before hub with not much drowning of sorrows.
I did a wee internet search. The internet search is a dangerous thing though. I spoke to my dad yesterday. Having a doctor as a dad could be very annoying sometimes - as in those days you want to skive off school and pull a sicky but dad always checking your glands and upon declaring you fit sends you off to school. But, getting older, having miscarriages, a daughter with a dicey kidney, a mother with a tumor and doctor dads are good things to have.
Dad has the best bedside manner. He explains everything to you as if you have no idea about anything - which I don't. He somehow makes things sound 'manageable' when probably they are not. I don't know how he kept it together to have the half an hour or so conversation with me yesterday. Lord knows I didn't. So thank you Dad.
I have spoken to a lot of my friends who have phoned - I tend to break down at the same part in the conversation everytime. But don't worry, I haven't got many friends left so won't have to go through too many more times.
The kids all wrote New Zealand Granny a picture tonight. Even Ryu - or rather he tried to eat the crayon and then screwed up the piece of paper. But we'll send it anyway :)
Fuck, I still can't believe it.
But thank you lovely readers for all your comments. It helps - every one helps it does. I know I'm shit at replying to comments and commenting on other blogs but reading your comments these past few days has really helped me pull through. Just knowing that other people are thinking of me or have been through the same thing makes a huge difference. So, thank you.
Sweet Dreams, Tremendously Excellent and Good Health, and Quiet Living to you all.