Sunday, 7 February 2010

Stick those silver balls up your man bits I will (long)

Crap again - just uploaded four pics and all haven't made it this far. Only have about twenty minutes though and cant be faffed spending ten of that uploading them again. So,...

It has been a busy week. The translation coming in on Wednesday, usual English classes and hub home after kiddy bedtime everynight including last night. It's a busy tax time of year. I know this. I hate this. But I understand this.

Yesterday he was at work the whole day. His whole office was. Ryu and I went to meet him for lunch. Afterall, hadn't dined with him for a whole week, not that we have dinner 'together' during the week. Dinner time with the whole family is like feeding time at the bloody zoo. Don't taste anything really just trying to get it in the mouths of the animals and make sure they don't throw it all over the room.

He said yesterday that he would definately have to work today - he had said this earlier in the week so wasn't like I was unprepared. Bugger shit but nevermind, what can you do. I have finally decided to take the whole overtime thing a bit less personally. He doesn't do it because he wants to, he does it because he has no choice.

So this morning he got up and did the kiddy thing - which he does most mornings until I come down at about 6:45 (lie in for me). The kids are usually fed and sometimes even de-nappied and changed. He played with them a bit and was about as excited as Shou when Shou got his 'gone to bed by self for one week' prezzie of a shinkenja transformer thing, that was half price at Tokiwa last week. He was off to work at half eight.

(insert photo of Shou with big grin playing with transformer)

Decided it was time Shou had a haircut so rang friend (whose daughter I teacher English to) to see if their place (very funky for inaka) could fit us in. 10:15 - no worries. Had talked to Shou about the old choki choki and that it didn't hurt rah rah, as first ever haircut - bar the time Granny K took his first big curl off the back (bitch bitch bitch bitch).

Following this conversation with Shou I took out all the crafty stuff - toiltet rolls, milk cartons, pipe cleaners, balloons etc and we had an arts and craft-a-thon. I went briefly to go get Ryu and when I came back Shou had snipped a handfull of hair off.

(insert photo of Shou quietly making a jet airplane out of a milk container and popsicle sticks with a big pile of own hair on table infront of him)

To be quite honest at first glance I didn't notice as his hair is so like mine - curly and fly-away. I didn't realise until I saw the pic I had taken of him being so craftsy and artsy. Shit. Definately have to go to the hairdressers now.

Hairdressers went well...

(insert photo of Shou in big hairdresser chair with white cape)

Got home, had lunch and put Marina and Ryu down for a nap. Granny K said she would take Shou to the temple next door and I thought, for a brief five minutes, that I might get an hour to myself - or rather to pick shit off the floor and pack half cut-up loo rolls away. Not to mention bits of first born son's hair. But no, Marina woke up, followed in quick succession by Ryu. Outside to play with all of them - and me obviously as Ryu unable to swing on his own.

So...........

Let the story telling begin.......

Had been talking with Shou about Bessy - the concrete laying beast of a machine from Lightening McQueen. There is one about fifteen minutes drive away so we decided to go on a 'kouji genba hunt' - hunt for road works. Pack all kids in car as feel Granny K needs a break too. Shou falls asleep just about as soon as I start the engine but not to fear as I have the camera and can take pictures of all the wonderful vehicles he will miss.

(insert photo of yellow and black concrete laying bessy wannabe)

There is lots of road works going on at the moment so I keep driving - all the way to the next town in fact. Decide to go past hokahoka (fast food bento shop) to pick up some fried chicken bits to go with udon for dinner. In doing so I have to bypass hub's office. Look in and don't see car in carpark. Start thinking...

Bollocks actually - had thought about it almost as soon as had pulled out of driveway that would private detective hub.

So, do a u-turn through the pachinko (silver ball gambling extablishment) car park and what do you know...

(insert photo of hub's car sneakily parked in between two tanks)

The funny thing - I didn't feel pissed off. I didn't feel hard done by, and I didn't feel like racing home to heat the inkan up to sign the divorce papers. I kind of felt indifferent. Of course if the kids had been terrors all day I would have felt extreme hatred and perhaps even storm troopered the pachinko parlor in persuit of my lieing husband.

Got home, kids played outside while Ryu slept and I made dinner. I wasn't going to say anything to Granny K but when she made a comment about how tired I must be - but also how tired hub must be.... I casually laughed and agreed - must be fucking tiring turning that pachinko knob. Fuckin I'll turn your knob buddy. I actually said she could ring hub if she liked - and tell him to perhaps come home a bit early as he had been caught out.

She did ring him - but he was just pulling into the drive so she didn't say that I knew. She must have rung the older brother though as hub later said that he got a funny call from him asking where he was.... ditto with the one from the lady in his office asking if he was home yet.

That was me though - I rang her when I vacated the premises with Ryu after dinner with strong words for the kids to be bathed upon my return. She hadn't been at work today though but vouched for his being there yesterday and everyday before. She then promtply rang hub and asked where he was - but didn't say that I had rung her. Fair play.

Drams, bloody dramas. Turns out he was only there for an hour and a half and only arrived about fifteen minutes before I saw his car there. Talk about bloody bad luck. Told him he should stop going his luck was so shit. Also said that I know he is busy and I know he is stressed (dito and dito) but could he not talk to me.

"Hey, lovely gaijinwife of mine, I am about to keel over with exhaustion from work. Do you mind if I go to pachinko for a couple of hours." Instead of this sneaky shit while I am at home with three small children.

I didn't let him get away scott free though. I did putt the 'you would rather play pachinko than come home and play with your children' soooooob sooooooob card. I also reminded him we all have fully valid passports and enough cash to skip the country.

So, not quite shoving the silver balls up his man bits but that was just good fortune on his part - good fortune that I had a good mummy day.

SDGH&QL

PS - although while I was out with Ryu after dinner Shou apparently tipped over the whole bag of rice - as in big bag that we take to get de-husked. He had been sentenced to ten years in his room and was howling when I walked in the door.

7 comments:

thefukases said...

Ohhh what a crap way to end the day..... And what a pity the pictures didn't work.

That said the doppelganger thing is in full swing tonight- just swap taichi for work, the local homecentre for pachinko and you can leave the sob sob sob as is. Here's to Monday and the end of weekend madness!

Sara said...

You know I think if you followed through and really tried to stick a pachinko ball up the old man pipe you may cure him of the bad habit forever.

Hope that this coming week is a super easy one for you.

And I didn't get to comment on your last post but I saw the Kiwi Husbands program last night and thought about you and if you were watching and kicking yourself saying dammit! I know I sure wanted to pick my bags and head to the country of sheep and good cheese afterwards!

Brenda said...

Yikes! I'm so impressed you didn't actually pull out any inkans or shove any silver balls into uncomfortable places. I think there's a good chance I would have stormed the pachinko parlor and dragged him out by his ear. Hope the rest of the week treats you better!

Chrysanthemum Mum said...

Jeeeeezz! What a weekend. Can sympathise with the absent hub scenario. Japanese men and their marriage to their jobs, eh? Mine doesn't go to pachinko, but the bloody library! There is always some work-related computer test he HAS to study for!

I would have definitely storm troopered the pachinko parlour and dragged him out. Good for you for having a bit of decorum and self-restraint!

Nay said...

Don't you hate when you try to upload photos and it just doesn't want to work?! It really drives me insane sometimes...

I think you handled the pachinko episode very well - a lot better than I would have. I too would have stormed in there demanding an explanation, embarrassing myself and Naoki in the process!

Oyomesan said...

Oh wow...me too...I have no self control. I'd have been into the Pachinko and created a scene that the whole community would have talked about for a generation....

we all need away from responsibility time...but you are right....he and you are adults...he should tell you and be an adult about it...

aghhh..it's the boy/man thing and how wives/girlfriends end up feeling like mother....

Freud didnt get into Men and their Mothers enough if you ask me!


My Word Verification today is "baldshu"...which is close enough to "balderdash!"...

Gaijin Wife said...

oyomesan - "baldshu" also close to baldshou which is nearly what he was after chopping his own hair off :)