I was going to start by saying I hope tonight isn't a repeat of last night. But Ryu is being very uncooperative at the moment so perhaps it will be - he is currently in his cot looking at winnie the pooh projector onto the ceiling. Something we bought for Shou when he was about six months. He wasn't particuarly taken with it and neither was Marina. And by the sounds of Ryu just now - neither is he. Fuck it. Hold on...
Me thinks it will be an even longer night than last night. I don't understand. He isn't wet. He isn't hungry. He's had meddy for his teeth. We have had lots of time together today laughing and rolling round on the floor. So what? Ideas please? Answers Yes Please? Yearly supply of horse tranquilizers for me and three small people? Bring it on.
Dossed round this morning - sorting out toys and then talking to a friend from home. She has inspired me to get serious about the good eating thing again. I'm too scared to call it a diet - although what she is on is definately one of those. No carbs after lunch. Shit, fuck and slap me silly cause I could not do that. She has lost five kilos in less number of weeks though - and we started out the same. She is now at my pre-Ryu pregnancy weight and I am two kilos over what I was when we last talked! Fuck it. Always up for a challenge I now have to get serious. Can't be the fat bitch at the resteraunt when we meet up in November for dinner and drinks - and a few nights of catching up with sproglets. But for the dinner and drinks at least we will pawn our children off left right and center and have a good time.
So keep up the good work friend - who cares if you're a grumpy bitch for the time being. I'm a grumpy bitch and I'm not even fasting. Imagine if I was on the 24 hour famine? I'd be a bloody write off. I remember doing it when I was younger - surviving on fruit juice and barley sugars for 24 or 48 hours. I had so many less spongy bits to famine back then though. SIGH. Big time.
Realised just before lunch that somehow all the chocs that I had personally hand made for my English class today had gone. Disappeared off the face of the planet.
I know - I had to get rid of them before I started the diet thing.
So had to go out for more melty chocolate to make hearts for my English class gaggle of eight - ten year old girls to decorate. Came home, melted, poured, and iced the heart shaped biscuits that made yesterday. Come half four and seven girls were decorating seven chocolate hearts and seven chocolate biscuits. And making valentine day cards. I spent the whole hour being MADE to write fancy letters in chocolate docorating pen and curling fricken ribbon. My ENGLISH class it was.
The kids were madmen on the way home from kindy - calling, or rather screaming, mamabaka - mum your a dickhead. Over it I pulled over and refused to drive home until there was some appologising. Sorry mummy.
Marina wouldn't eat dinner - so I did it for her. She packed a sad when she realised it was gone. I relented for the sake of world peace and she ate a second helping. I bathed them (but not Ryu who was asleep) and then had to bribe them with a new car on their 18th birthday to get them out.
Sometimes I just feel so damn helpless! Helpless to a two and three year old. I also feel jealous. Jealous of hub for having a real job. OK, so being a mother is THE BEST job in the world but it wasn't one I was prepared for. Nothing prepares you for this. Staying at home all day in the company of a person who can't ask you things, understand you, say thankyou for all that you do, try and act thinking of you. Nope. You just get shat on, thrown up on, spat on (Shou's latest - although not me but the floor), cursed at (mamabaka, mamakuso), and basically under-appreciated for everything you do.
Not to worry though. I'll get over it soon. My kids aren't going to start appreciating me anytime soon but at least I'll have better coping mechanisms. Surely.
Anyhoo, English was a complete disaster - well beforehand. Shou and Ryu both awake. Hub home five seconds before English started. Granny K looked after Ryu but he basically nutted the whole time. Shou, who had gone to bed badly last night after wanting daddy, wanted mummy tonight. Go figure.
Anyway, they are all in bed. The whole house and I am watching an episode of 'numbers' which coffee chiemi lent me. Tomorrow is a new day, a new happy mummy, a new diet, a new lots of things perhaps.
happy new things to you lot too