Sunday, 28 February 2010

Tsumami Warnings!!

Tsumami Warnings. Following the humungous earthquake in Chilli yesterday Japan has been on Tsunami warning alert the whole day - the first has just hit Oita about an hour ago - at 7:50pm. 50cm I think and most of them around the country so far have only been about 30cm and the like with one or two big ones over 1m. 30cm isn't going to get ya running though. Is only about the circumference of my calf afterall. They reckon there's a chance waves up to 3m could hit though - hence the warning still in place, probably until tomorrow morning.

So this morning, with the earthquake and tsunami warnings all over the telly Shou and I were talking. He has been calling them TsuMami Keiho - warnings all day. TsuMami are nibbles, snacks. Probably a 3 year olds dream - to have a 3m wave of snacks and nibbles rain down on you. Yay. I had to try not to giggle every time he said it though as he is into saying '笑うことじゃないでしょう' (not something to laugh about) at anything I even show a hint of a smile at, that he wasn't intending to be funny. Silly bugger.

This morning was an eaaaaaaaaarly start. Before 5am I think. I was 'this' close to cancelling our trip to Rachels to throw eggs and claim back land. Hub left for work at eight and we got out the door just before nine. I decided to leave Ryu and just do a visit for a few hours. In hindsight (a wonderful thing) I should have taken him so we could have stayed for longer - and at least seen Illahee and Kuri and Ping. Where were you guys?? So can't use the sucked in by a 30cm tsunami excuse.

We arrived and after five seconds of shyness the kids had a great time. Marina was loving having Rachel's older two (10 and 8-ish??) - as older kids that weren't going to try and take all her toys. Is perfect really as they have Erica who is Marina's age and so are fully primed in the ways of two year old girls. Shou, being a 3 year old boy, nearly fits into that category though so he was loving it too - especially as he had chosen to wear Marina's pink with pom pom leg warmers.

He did put on the spider man outfit I forgot we had and re-found this morning - for about five seconds but promptly took it off when he remembered that I squash the spiders I see with a tissue box.

Got home five minutes before Granny K had to head to the funeral - in jacket over black vest, black slacks and black hush puppies. Ryu was content to hang out while the rest of us palyed outside - mummy being the big bag wani (crocodile) chasing them in and out of the adventure playhouse. Fun and games.

Hub was home early only to leave again for a wannabe fireman 'meeting' slash on the lash at the hall thirty metres away. Not much stumbling to be done from there to get home. Although I guess he does have to get over the bridge so technically he could fall in the river. Quite possible considering he has been so busy lately and is so knackered. A few shochus might just stumble him into the river.

Edit - Marina has just woken up and vomitted all over herself, bed, floor and me. Awesome. Poor wee thing. She seems fine now and is in Granny K's room cutting up bits of paper and saying she wants to sleep in there - acutally now hub has just taken her up to bed. Will see how it goes. He also said the teacher at kindy this morning said a funny bug was going round so hopefully that was her lot in and out and over with.

And this not five minutes after I had emailed hub and said the kids were asleep and he could enjoy his drinking thing without worrying about coming home to bitchy gaijinwife. I shouldn't have told him but I did and he came home straight away. Good man.

Right, I better get to dealing with the bed sheets and chucky PJs and pillow slips.

But, seeing as I spent twenty minutes uploading 4 pictures before I started this post - over an hour ago...

We had asari (baby clams perhaps?) butter with dinner...
Shou is so into helping or doing EVERYTHING and half the time it is better to let him do it in the name of keeping the peace. And no, Marina had none of the shellfish so can't blame it on them - and it she had and it was them then I would be up for one hellova night as I ate 90 percent of them.

My little vomitty princess...
The party today was afterall fancydress. Shou was not impressed I didn't have a tutu for him. Am wondering should I be getting worried about him sometime soon?? Not that I care if he grows up wanting to wear tutus, leg warmers, sleeping with popchan, and being 'fierce' on project runway but still :)
Shou at Rachels - with his train town he made with Amy - and with a chip in his mouth and again not quite getting the peace angle right. Check out the legwarmers. So manly (?) with his Tomica jumper.

And... IT.....HAS......BEGUN....
My baby no longer wants toys!!!! Arrgggghhhh. He wants remote controls, wallets and keys already. Fuck it. I was hoping I could blind side him with squeaky soft rabbits and moshimoshi talking play phones - but he wants the real deal. Does mean I have a whole cupboard of baby baby toys I can get rid of now.
Note Ryu'S beautifully round face - we are getting round at about the same pace. VERY SCARY. Something needs to give. A couple of thighs and a flummy would be a welcome start.

Saturday, 27 February 2010

Family Time at the Park

Hub had thought he would take Shou out of kindy for the day and they would go on a boys day out - minus Ryu. After a couple of hours of Shou being a complete twat this morning - waking the whole house up at 5am, racing round the hallway with popochan and his shinkansen money box in a pram at 5:10am and getting IN Ryu's cot with him and just about suffocating him at 5:30 - and he changed his mind. Shou's two seconds of silence brought me racing down the stairs. Three year old boys and silence usually only means one thing round here - bad news. Fortunately Ryu wasn't quite complete covered in blankets.

So of to kindy they went and then hub went to get his hair chopped - did try to tell him he could save his 3,000 yen by just getting Shou to do it. I got an hour or two of translating done while Ryu slept and then we headed off for sushi for lunch. Home centre for shite that you don't ever need but which you always buy and to the supermarket for ditto. Plus beer - which we always need and which we always buy.

Hub got an afternoon nap - lucky for some - while I sorted dinner and tried to clean up a bit of the madness that eventuated from Shou being Shou for two hours this morning. Left Ryu with Granny K for a couple of hours late afternoon so hub and I could go pick the sproglets up early and take them to the park for some much needed family time. And honestly, I haven't seen a winner like this for a while ...

Hub tried to take one of Marina but...
Very nice form though. 10 out of 10 darling.

And, four hands and not one proper peace sign. Who said my children were half Japanese again? Obviously missed out on the 'peace' genes.
See that bomber jacket Marina has on - 700 yen people. AND it's reversable. Great value at nearly local supermarket / dept store that had all its winter stuff on sale. I bought it thinking it would be good for next year but looks like I might have to dress her in it every cool day left this year and then pass it on.

After dinner and bath usual goings on I told Shou that we were off to Nakatsu tomorrow to Erica's house. And that Nao and Sasha would be there too. I think he's too young to figure out that he will be the only boy in a house of girls. (Too young to appreciate it properly. Will have to take a photo so he can look back at it in 15 years and boast about at least having it going on with the gals when he was three.) He wasn't really even paying attention - he heard 'Sasha' and got all excited that we were going to a party in Nakatsu with a 'ミクサー車' - mikusaasha - or a concrete mixer. So Illahee, don't spose there's anyway Sasha can be dressed up as a concrete mixer instead of a princess?

Hmmmm, No, didn't think so.
It looks like I will have to take Ryu too - as vestling down the road very inconsiderately keeled over this morning and his funeral is at 2pm tomorrow. Ahhh, Japan and its almost competetive need to see who can hold their loved one's funeral the fastest. In New Zealand I think it takes at least three or four days to get their shit together.
Granny K needs to leave here at half one and will need to suit up and vest up before then so can't really leave Ryu with her unless I plan on driving an hour to Nakatsu to spend one and a half hours there only to spend another hour driving back. After I get through tomorrow I only have the following Sunday with hub working and then things at least in the weekends will be back to normal.
Anyhoo, just cooking B&E pie to take tomorrow. I should be doing a bit more work but can't be flagged tonight. This is what happens when the translation isn't very difficult. I procrastinate and procrastinate and..... then spend the last two days in a bitchy mood trying to finish it all!!
Such is life.

Friday, 26 February 2010

yadda yadda yadda

I should stop sitting infront of the computer. Eyes starting to go funny. Only one file left in current translation so that will be sent off this evening with another similar sized one coming in tonight sometime too. All this translating does maketh a very boring blog.

My three English classes went without hiccup yesterday. Although one girl got a telling off at the primary school one. They were standing up to say good bye and she was 'supposedly' talking at the back. I didn't even notice but her teacher did and told her to 'suware' (sit - comand like you would give a dog) for five seconds and then stand back up before reprimanding her infront of her class for being so rude (WTF??).

As I was leaving I saw same teacher out the back having a ciggie so me thinks he's a bit stressed - probably not helped by my comment as I was leaving. I thanked him as was our last class together for the school year. I then said '先生は来年異動ないでしょうね' - you wont be changing schools next year will you? Have feeling it came out more as a hopeful statement rather than its intended bit of friendly how's the weather banter as walking towards my car. Ah well. Nevermind.

I did my 8pm class in the hall across the road from us - so sick of Shou coming in and turning it into chaos. Hub was home early so I stuck a notice on the front door for the students and away I went. NONE of them noticed the big A4 sign - or rather they just thought it was my standard 'please be quiet or spawn of the devil will wake up and ruin your class' one that is taped there every second week or so. Luckily Granny K was on genkan duties and sent them all in my direction.

The hall is quite old and has far too many knooks, crannies, and mirrors for my liking, a bit like Japanese scary movie with long black haired women in white gowns crawling all over the place. I made the students help me put the table and stuff away afterwards so we could all leave together.

Anyhoo, nothing much else happening here - bar the usual tantrums and three year old (and thirty three year old) hissy fits. Hub has tomorrow off and was thinking of taking the kids out of kindy after lunch and taking them somewhere to play so they don't forget who he is. On Sunday I am taking the two terrors to Rachels for a belated Waitangi Day celebration - which is really just an excuse to get together and talk and drink coffee while the children, all in costume, run round tearing her house down. I have a proper Maori costume that Marina might fit - Shou definately would so maybe will get him to wear it and he can run round trying to claim some of Rachel's land and perhaps throw an egg or two while cooking a hangi in the back garden. (I know - very un PC)

And to leave you with something cute from my baby who can finally sit up by himself - lazy ass. Only took him 9 months.


Thursday, 25 February 2010

Just a little bit of appreciation.

As I have no doubt harped on about endlessly before, one of the biggies about being a stay at home mum for me is the lack of appreciation. I know that an 8 month old, 2 year old and 3 year old are unable to go round thanking me for everything I do and I don't expect them to - well not all the time anyway.

I should take their good health, their well being, their growth, smiles and laughter as my appreciation. Sometimes though, just sometimes, I would like it in words.

And yesterday morning I got just a little bit. Not from the kids mind you - hell no. Shou was far to busy trying to convince me he just had to cut a hole in the sofa so he could thread that there bit of rope from the dining room chairs, through the sofa, and in a perfect world, through a hole in the TV as well.

I got another tranlsation request - I replied saying if it was same shit about nano tubes and discrete mathematics as last time then I wouldn't be able to. Got lovely email back saying that it was a lot more general and that she hoped I would take it as my work last time was of such a high standard. I know she probably says this to all her translators, especially in times when she is pushed and needs to meet a deadline. Butter up the staff and all that.

Still, for a brief minute in my hectic, sleep deprived (five hour sleep - thing of the past it seems) and under-appreciated day it was a ray of sunshine it was. More for the fact that I felt appreciated, as opposed to fact that translation money will help line my purse with gold, I took the job. It isn't as big as the last one - only half the size. Due on Monday but at current rate I should have it signed, sealed and delivered by tomorrow night. Not a nano tube, carbon fuckwit discrete bastard in sight. Tis all very nice and easy 'please wear indoor shoes when using the gymnasium' type of stuff. Honestly, whole chunks of stuff I can do without looking at the dictionary.

My god, I can do something other than feed uncooperative children and wipe dirty bums. It's a nice feeling.

I spent all available time yesterday doing it, had English in the afternoon - with a new girl (and another boy starting in April). Went well although my usual lot were a bit wired due to new face. Showing off and lots of stupid faces, naughty words and trying to out stupid each other.

Went to pick the kids up from kindy and had a genuine 'holy fuck something is going to happen to my child' moment. There is a new path alongside the kindy and the primary school. Up until now it has been trees and you couldn't get down that way. The concrete is all dry and yesterday was the first day you could walk on it.

Shou, flash gordan wannabe, took off.I dumped bags and literally dragged Marina by her arms and we went off. Got round the corner and he was already on the other side of the playground and heading towards the big carpark and road. Hightail to the car, shove Marina in and go. He hadn't gone as far afield as I had thought but still, I thought he had taken off up the road and god knows where. NO-ONE offered to help me, or keep an eye on Marina while I went for Shou - despite about four mothers standing there watching it all. Shou got a huge telling off - in English and I was so angry with fright and fear that I just about left their kindy bags sitting by the gate.

That, coupled with Shou not eating his dinner and wanting to use the BBQ tongs to put one yen pieces in his moneybox and... and... huge meltdown. Huuuuuuuuuuuuuge. Granny came in to rescue the other two kids while Shou threw things round the room. I was helpless.

Trying to reason with him..... yeah right.
Trying to interest him with something else.... not happening.
Getting cross with him.... makes it worse.
Put him outside..... runs to front door and in doing so falls over and grazes his knee making it tens time worse.
Sitting in the middle of the lounge asking for a cuddle..... getting there.

He gave up and came for a cuddle and we both had a wee snivvle.

This morning - with the rope and the wanting to put a hole in the sofa - I can see his imagination working. He knows exactly what he wants to do. The rope going between the chairs, attached with the tongs and some clothespegs.... Obviously a railway crossing. I can't beleive I didn't pick it up. Had to pretend to put money at certain point in rope and then the train station man (Shou - not the fat cunt, the fat cunt, the fat cuntroller - sorry only amusing for people who have seen the youtube vid of the fat controller from thomas the tank engine) would lower the rope. Dramas.

Anyway, off to drop some vids off, get nappies and the likes before coming back for a class at the primary school and my usual Thursday afternoon and evening classes.

Best get off to it.


Tuesday, 23 February 2010

Sleep, money boxes and IR meetings (long)

So this is what it feels like!

To wake up after having five hours of sleep in a row. That was not a typo. I repeat. That was not a typo.

On Sunday night Ryu went down at half seven. Shou came into our room and I just presumed that it was about 2am seeing as I hadn't gotten up yet for Ryu. Closer inspection of my keitai clock said it was half five. Holy shit. Was so surprised I had to run downstairs to make sure the wee tike was still breathing. And that he was. Snoring infact. Not long lived though after spawn of the devil came flying down the stairs stomping and crashing about.

But hey, stomp away. Mummy on so much sleep is a looooooooot nicer than mummy on three pockets of forty minutes sleep.

Last night wasn't quite so fabulous but still miles better than the last three and a half years. For starters I went to bed early - 10pm. No point waiting up because 'Ryu is surely just about to wake up'. He had gone down at seven and slept till midnight. Had a bottle and slept through till five which was when I shoved the dummy back in his mouth and turned on his pooh projecter (!!) and went back to bed for half an hour.

I also had nothing to eat past 7pm last night - not even the end of day beverage with hub - and I tell you I woke feeling light and clear headed and full of beans. What a difference. See if I can keep at it for three days in a row before declaring to the world that I have 'turned over a new leaf'.

We had a puchi-matsuri (mini festival) at our house yesterday morning. It happenes every year at one of the houses in our cluster of paddies. Priest comes round, makes a heap of bamboo and white paper flappy shinto (?) things and then they go round the respective houses to pray to some god for some thing. Granny K has to prepare a tray with fish, a vegetable, rice, sake, salt... I think.

I remember six years ago when the old house was still here and it was our 'turn' to hold the festival. I was here that weekend (I didn't move back until I had a nice house with a toilet that wasn't just a hole in the ground and down a huge spider infested dark hallway - imagine if we hadn't built the new house that only lets out big spiders ocassionaly. I would have had a litter of children) and remember sitting in on the festival and writing notes. Must have been when I was still trying to convince self that sucking up to Granny K and showing interest would make it easier to live together.

God, pull the other one. Easier to live together. LOL. Mother in law. Easier. ROTFL. Actually now we have moved on to - 3 kids in three years. FUCK. Mother in law and crap advice. FUCK FUCK FUCK. Mother in law coming to take baby out of bath while you clean two wriggling toddlers. FUCk. Mother in law looking after baby while you take two screaming toddlers to kindy. FUck. Mother in law looking after toddler for whole day while you take the other two out. Fuck. Mother in law offering to iron hub's shirts cause she knows I wont and she feels sorry for her son. Pathetic but fuck.

OK, OK. so the woman definately doesn't piss me off as much as she used to - especially now that I can 'use' her to my daily advantage in trying to make life with three small children easier. People told me how lucky I was - live in babysitter. Not quite the same but. She is 73 after all and has specific rules - like no looking after Shou or Ryu for more than about half anhour each. Also would prefer the babysitter lived next door, if not at least 500 metres down the road.

But I digress.

The festival was, according to Granny K starting at 9am. The preist arrived at said time but no-one else. I enquired as to start time again and Got that the neighboring vestlings were turning up at half nine. I said I was going to put Ryu to bed then cause he wasn't lasting and needed to crash. She commented that the boy didn't need to sleep and should stay up till the others arrived.

Seriously woman. The boy is tired. To prove her he promptly feel asleep on my shoulder (very very rare occurance - in fact it wasn't even on my shoulder. He was on my knee facing forwards and I was doing 'this is the way the lady rides, trit trot, trit, trot...' and he still fell asleep) as the vestlings were trit trotting down the drive. I went to let them in to showers of 'oh, isn't he cute' - and oh, isn't he so very asleep and not appreciating any of it. He went down for two solid hours. All the while there were five vestlings munching senbei, drinking green tea and watching the priest flap bits of bamboo and paper about.

In other news - the kids money boxes arrived and were a great hit - well, Shou's was at least. It lights up and makes terrific train noises. Marina's is just a stone cold kitty chan. She wasn't too excited! Shou ate all his dinner on his own (three yen - as realised very quickly that it wasn't value of money it was number of coins) and had a bath with no fuss or drama. Marina flagged the bath. After she had gone to bed Shou and I used the box to make a tunnel and some tracks - all of which he folded up and took to bed! Didn't go to sleep on his own but it wasn't a huge drama.

And, just to make this post far too long - some TMI for you seeing as has been a while. MUM - I'm about to write a paragraph on sex and blow jobs so stop reading now.

We have had a few international relations meetings lately - well, only two in the last four days but that is in the 'frequent' category as of late. On Friday, I think the night that I posted hub was going to liquor me up and take advantage of me' - well that he did, only we realised we had run out of 'securities' and therefore obviously the meeting wasn't as fulfilling as it could have been. Don't need another calculated-miss (eventhough Ryu is the cutest calculated miss ever). Did the necessary chemist shopping on Saturday - and that night hub got better servicing and exclaimed that 'if this was the service everynight he'd never work late' - Not quite sure how he would get away from the 'overtime' - perhaps by telling his boss that he couldn't stay late cause his wife was waiting and ready at home, and he was going to get a blow job to boot. I said if he was home early every night I may well be a lot more inclined to get on my knees a bit more often.

So last night he was home at 9 - he said it was early and .... ???

I said, you've got to be joking.

Early means 6 - and helping with dinner, bath and bed routines.

9pm would be OK if it was with flowers, nice wine or fine foods.

I should probaby tell him what his chances are. He is a man after all. He wont pick up on it unless its written on his forehead. .


Sunday, 21 February 2010

Rainbow Pancakes

Not exactly what the photo looks like!! The green ones were made using blue coloring. Not impressed but also didn't want to put in whole bottle. As it happens I would be the one going hypo as the kids weren't too thrilled. Piss me off really. Went well out of my normal Sunday routine to get these on the table. Nevermind. Myself, the diet and I forgot about healthy eating and munched them back.

This afternoon was a complete fricken nightmare. I followed through with my threat to Shou and he got not an entire mouthful of soap but enough on his inside lip to keep wiping it on a towel for half an hour, nutting out - and not spitting since. Granny K came out mid nutout and upon finding out what had happened had a severe go at me for poisining her grandson!! From the lady who stuffed her kerosene hands in his face just not last month. And seriously, our handsoap is organic shit so how bad can a whiff in the mouth be?

After that things calmed down but I was still very pissed when hub rang and said his 5pm home time would be more like seven. Fuck it. Not his fault but. He had 30 people personally to deal with - and most of them just bring in their tax return and expect him to fill the whole thing in, and then ten seconds before he has finished it produce a fuckin reciept of some kind from their pocket and he has to re-write the whole thing. Had no time to eat lunch and came home and ate cold bacon and egg pie - which is proof to just how hungry he was!

Ryu got a bit left out today - but was a champion about it. Had crap morning nap in the car but slept semi-OK this afternoon. Out like a light at seven as was Marina and Shou at half seven. Honestly I had only said two lines of my 'momotaro' rendition when I heard his 'sleep' breathing.

And, in trying to get some cute pics to compensate for the crap day...
Nope, not happening.

Or that mummy you fuckwit, ease up on the flash already.

Christ woman, Miffy's got bigger slitty eyes than I have. Learn how to use the goods man. It's a happy snappy digicam how hard can it be?
I want good camera skills and a good camera.
Perhaps a few good children.
And occassionaly a good mother in law.
Fuck it, sometimes a good husband that doesn't lie too.
AND who wants to pleather me as much as he wants to get plethered. So not into the 'what goes around comes around' program at the moment.


Listen... can you hear that?

Go on, try really really hard...

Still can't hear it?

Neither can I. Bloody slience. The house is silent. And you don't even need to call social welfare. The kids aren't under the stairs drugged out on horse tranzquilizers. Two of them are asleep and one is over next door at the temple with Granny K. No points for guessing who isn't napping.

I foresee it lasting perhaps another twenty minutes until Granny K gets sick of the sight of Shou and comes back - Shou will be pissed at having to come home and will scream the house down, hence waking up both Marina and Ryu. In the space of five seconds I will go from having a silent house to a madhouse.

Hub is at work. Really and truely. As he was yesterday. Ryu and I went over to meet him for lunch and he was home in time to pick the kids up early from kindy and have a bit of daddy play time.

Bit of a crap night sleep-wise lastnight but not all Ryu's fault. Marina and Shou both woke up once each and Ryu twice. Thanks hub for snoring, or pretending to sleep, through it all. I guess he does have to crunch numbers all day today.

I was a bit wired this morning and while the the first two hours went well - I even got things cleaned up, washing hung out and kindy futons out to air - but then we had a serious meltdown because Shou wasn't impressed with just the one lolly he got. He wanted the whole bag. Things got worse when he caught me taking most of them out of the bag in preparation to give him 'the whole bag'. Woooooa baby. Screaming, throwing things, piling pillows up against the outside of the door so mummy couldn't get out.

As if that would stop me.

And the spitting. My god. It makes me wild it does. Any advice on how to put a stop to it? It isn't spitting in your face type - just spitting on the floor. I told him he was getting a mouth full of soap next time he did it and he stopped so hopefully that will hold through. Can't imagine what hell would break loose if I actually had to follow through with that one!

I took Shou and Ryu out in the car and Granny K took Marina - thankyou. We went to the vid shop where Shou got a tomika DVD (no surprise there) and tried to convince me that Marina wanted a Shinkenja one and not Kitty-chan or Elmo. Coming out of the shop Shou insisted we do the UFO catcher. It wasn't your normal type. It had two rows of lockers with prizes in them and you had to win a key from the UFO catcher in the middle - although you couldn't see what was in any of the balls. I got a ball first go and whadda ya know... locker #9

Unfortunately not locker #6 which was a WII. Still, something to keep the kids entertained for two seconds. I haven't been able to get close enough to read the instructions but it makes lots of cool noises and talks to you to Shou thinks is great. Also doubles as fantastic little day bag (looks like - not as in actually able to fill with tampons, lipstick and cell phones) which Shou is quite keen on too !

Right, I can hear Shou coming back and Ryu stirring. Might let them run round outside on the adventure playground before we start the rainbow pancakes. So much for doing them in the morning.

Will post pic - maybe.


Friday, 19 February 2010

A lot better

Today was definately a better day. Started early I guess but I got two pockets of three hours sleep so felt 'refreshed' when I got up just before six with Ryu. Got straight into hub's obento and then snuck back upstairs into our bed where Shou was, after a late night last night he had a not so good night.

Hub to work, kids to kindy, Ryu to nap and me to sorting out nengajo (finally putting them in their little folder) infront of the Olympics - mens skating free program. The Japan blokes team were great - they did everything they could have. The young underdog landed his 四回転 - quadrupple axil / toe loop ?? Oda's boot lace broke half way through but after a short break he kept going - to loud cheers from the crowds. And, Takahashi - well he got the bronze. It was good all round. And to top it off Granny K and I watched it in here together - all friendly like.

Today Shou and Marina had their kindy photos so Shou wanted to wear his super cool tomica top and Marina her skirt - well I suggested it and she fully went with it. I swear this past month she has got all girly girly. Loving it.

And just so he doesn't feel left out - Ryu and his new party trick...

Yippy Yi Fuckin Yay - life gets that little bit easier. My baby can feed himself. Hasn't quite figured out that he needs to tip the bastard to get the last half out but I figure if I don't help him it wont be long before he does! Notice the bouncer falling apart underneath. This bouncer has done the distance man. Got it from Jo who used it for her two kids. I gave it back after Shou and it got used by someone else and then I claimed it again. Old school bouncers - better than any flashing, singing, swaying piece of modern bouncy technology you can get now. Anybody want it in a few months?

So a very lazy day - during which Granny K suggested that perhaps I would have better luck getting Shou down to bed if I let him run round outside for half an hour when he got home. Good suggestion. Afterall, three year olds are like dogs - they need their one or two hours of running round time per day.

I think she was really only 'suggesting' but I took it on board and went and picked the kids up early and promptly delivered Marina to Granny K who was already looking after Ryu, and took Shou for a 1.5km walk. Took us about half an hour cause he kept jumping into random paddies and claiming that there was a digger in this here paddy however many moons ago and how it was building that wall or digging this drain. He was also pushing popo-chan in her pushchair the whole way!!

Someone we met along the way commented on how Shou was out with one Marina's toy's. What they didn't realise was that the pushchair was really a super duper jet fire pushchair. It had blinkers of course and if you pushed this here screw 'button' then a jet fire stream would come shooting out the back (and occassionaly from popopchan's ass) - at which time Shou would run full speed ahead. All in all a very manly pushchair.

Got home, the kids got bathed and fed - nikujaga-don and yoghurt and mikan and then I got a phonecall from a friend in the city two hours away.

I'm outside your house. Rightio. Fuckin excellent. Actually in terms of timing if she had rung an hour earlier I would have been in the bath and an hour later putting Shou to bed. The kids were all still up but just about to go down. She came in and had a wee play and then I took Marina to bed - not a peep. My princess. Thought I'd try and put Ryu down - and what do you know, not a peep. My wee little I-can-feed-myself man. No way Shou was going down at seven though so he stayed up while we had a coffee.

Friend can talk the hind legs off a donkey and that she did - while Shou re-fashioned popo-chan's fringe and put string through all the dining room chairs and every toy he could find that had a hole or doors or whatever. Very elaborate labrynth of string, wood and plastic.

Friend left and Shou went down pretty easily. Half eight and I am 'home alone' so to speak. Hub arrives just after nine which is well early for a Friday night these days. He has work all day tomorrow and Sunday. He brought home a few brewskies and shucream this evening so me thinks me is trying to liquor me up and take advantage of me. (and of course make sure I don't start any good eating regimes (god forbid 'diets') today)

So I guess I should be a good obliging wife and go get liquored and taken advantage of :)


Thursday, 18 February 2010

Happy new us

I was going to start by saying I hope tonight isn't a repeat of last night. But Ryu is being very uncooperative at the moment so perhaps it will be - he is currently in his cot looking at winnie the pooh projector onto the ceiling. Something we bought for Shou when he was about six months. He wasn't particuarly taken with it and neither was Marina. And by the sounds of Ryu just now - neither is he. Fuck it. Hold on...





Me thinks it will be an even longer night than last night. I don't understand. He isn't wet. He isn't hungry. He's had meddy for his teeth. We have had lots of time together today laughing and rolling round on the floor. So what? Ideas please? Answers Yes Please? Yearly supply of horse tranquilizers for me and three small people? Bring it on.

Dossed round this morning - sorting out toys and then talking to a friend from home. She has inspired me to get serious about the good eating thing again. I'm too scared to call it a diet - although what she is on is definately one of those. No carbs after lunch. Shit, fuck and slap me silly cause I could not do that. She has lost five kilos in less number of weeks though - and we started out the same. She is now at my pre-Ryu pregnancy weight and I am two kilos over what I was when we last talked! Fuck it. Always up for a challenge I now have to get serious. Can't be the fat bitch at the resteraunt when we meet up in November for dinner and drinks - and a few nights of catching up with sproglets. But for the dinner and drinks at least we will pawn our children off left right and center and have a good time.

So keep up the good work friend - who cares if you're a grumpy bitch for the time being. I'm a grumpy bitch and I'm not even fasting. Imagine if I was on the 24 hour famine? I'd be a bloody write off. I remember doing it when I was younger - surviving on fruit juice and barley sugars for 24 or 48 hours. I had so many less spongy bits to famine back then though. SIGH. Big time.

Realised just before lunch that somehow all the chocs that I had personally hand made for my English class today had gone. Disappeared off the face of the planet.

I know - I had to get rid of them before I started the diet thing.

So had to go out for more melty chocolate to make hearts for my English class gaggle of eight - ten year old girls to decorate. Came home, melted, poured, and iced the heart shaped biscuits that made yesterday. Come half four and seven girls were decorating seven chocolate hearts and seven chocolate biscuits. And making valentine day cards. I spent the whole hour being MADE to write fancy letters in chocolate docorating pen and curling fricken ribbon. My ENGLISH class it was.

The kids were madmen on the way home from kindy - calling, or rather screaming, mamabaka - mum your a dickhead. Over it I pulled over and refused to drive home until there was some appologising. Sorry mummy.

Marina wouldn't eat dinner - so I did it for her. She packed a sad when she realised it was gone. I relented for the sake of world peace and she ate a second helping. I bathed them (but not Ryu who was asleep) and then had to bribe them with a new car on their 18th birthday to get them out.

Sometimes I just feel so damn helpless! Helpless to a two and three year old. I also feel jealous. Jealous of hub for having a real job. OK, so being a mother is THE BEST job in the world but it wasn't one I was prepared for. Nothing prepares you for this. Staying at home all day in the company of a person who can't ask you things, understand you, say thankyou for all that you do, try and act thinking of you. Nope. You just get shat on, thrown up on, spat on (Shou's latest - although not me but the floor), cursed at (mamabaka, mamakuso), and basically under-appreciated for everything you do.

Not to worry though. I'll get over it soon. My kids aren't going to start appreciating me anytime soon but at least I'll have better coping mechanisms. Surely.

Anyhoo, English was a complete disaster - well beforehand. Shou and Ryu both awake. Hub home five seconds before English started. Granny K looked after Ryu but he basically nutted the whole time. Shou, who had gone to bed badly last night after wanting daddy, wanted mummy tonight. Go figure.

Anyway, they are all in bed. The whole house and I am watching an episode of 'numbers' which coffee chiemi lent me. Tomorrow is a new day, a new happy mummy, a new diet, a new lots of things perhaps.

happy new things to you lot too


Wednesday, 17 February 2010

Operation Red Horse Pups

Hub is home already - 9pm. Early. We are watching the figure skating - mens short program - reruns. I saw them this morning in between hanging out washing and the likes. Of course the Japanese media has hyped up the three Japanese blokes so am enjoying watching things unfold. Honestly how is anyone meant to get anything done when the olympics are on.

Before the figure skating this morning was the women's curling. We (Japan) were playing America and it was on the edge of the chair tense and exhilerating and all that - well not quite but a good game and while it won't keep me up all night to watch Japan play Canada it will keep me interested in the curling till the end.

I think the snowboard half pipe is tomorrow - with the Japanese snow boarder with dreds who got off the plane in Canada with his Olympic dress pants halfway down his ass and his tie all loose and altogether looking like a 20 year old half pipe dude with dreds. Not the best when traveling with the Olympic team though and he promptly got a good telling off and wasn't allowed to attend the opening ceremony. Hope he can redeem himself a bit tomorrow - not that he seems to give a shit mind you.

Enough of the Games.

I did two things I haven't done for ages today. The first was a walk outside with Ryu - we did our 4km loop and it was a tad cold (as in have had the fire roaring all day) but got him suited up in his snowsuit and out we went.

The other thing - I had an apple. A whole round apple. As mental as that may sound, I have not had an apple for over a year. I ate it in the privacy of the car so not many Japanese people could see me and wonder why on earth I was eating an apple so barbarically and why I didn't bother to peel it, core it, and shape it into small rabbits before eating.

Coffee and Chiemi came round before English and finally got a pic of her boy who will be one soon and Ryu...

As of this morning Ryu's hair lies flat on his head and not up in mohawk. I was looking at him this morning wondering what was different and on seeing this pic have realised. Yay, my boy might finally be losing the mullet. Excellent. Only Marina to go now.

No juicy goss today. Hub late everynight and Granny K actually being a help and the only goss is me being a mad bitch angry at the kids and I'm not posting about that every night - although today was loads better.

But just quickly - last night after posting I found a link through another blog to a campain raising money to get a litter of dogs out of the warzone and back to the states and into nice homes. They were found in a cave without a mum when they were just little. It is costing shitloads to get them home so I made a small donation. I haven't got a stedfast rule when it comes to donations. Whatever appeals I guess. I'm sure there are loads of places to donate to help actual people in the warzone but I wasn't particularly out looking - just came across the link, clicked, and thought it was a nice story. If you're interested in reading...

Operation Red Horse Pups


Nella's Story

I haven't posted twice in one day for a while, but I have been surfing and came across a birth story that has moved me to tears and puffy eyes. It is beautiful and it is honest and it will move you.

Please read Nella's story - as written by her mummy

I'm off to bed - via some sleepy kisses on my sleeping kidlets.


Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Speeding Lycra

Hub didn't get home till past midnight last night. He rang at ten to tell me to just go to bed. Turns out he didn't have time to eat lunch or dinner and quite frankly I don't know how he survived. If that were me I would have had to start eating people's tax returns - or at the least some pencils and perhaps a stapler.

So bento (lunch) making started this morning instead of tomorrow. Can't have him starving now can I. As it is he will no doubt lose about ten kilos over the next month from all his stress at work and I will of course find it. Am trying to think when I became a stress eater... I never used to be I don't think. I used to do a lot of exercise though so perhaps I just didn't notice? I also used to be single and childless so my life now definately has a few more 'stress' triggers in there - namely five in the shape of two headless chickens, a husband, a mother in law and the cutest one...

So not cute in the middle of the night. Last night was a shocker. Ryu's cry is the worst sound on the planet. Not particularly screechy or high pitched but it hits that part of my neuro system that just wants to run away and hide and not have to deal with it again and again and again. What a stupid thing to say. I'm a mother. The best job in the world. Who in their right mind would complain about having to wake five times a night for that cute bundle of joy.

Anyway, back to the bento...

Very standard and very muchly screaming frozen foods nuked in the microwave. Come to think of it the only things nuked were the meatballs. Then there was chicken nuggets, some salmon, weener, egg roll - all cooked in majic four compartment frypan, and some brocolli, a tom and a strawb just for token color and nutrition. All in his new lunchbox with new furoshiki wrap thing and bag. With of course his genki drink that has 3000mg of something extremely off the wall genki.

He was meant to be home at 10 tonight but still no show. Have been sitting here twiddling my thumbs - well not quite. Have actually been looking up the affects of food coloring on children and its link to ADD!! It would appear that food coloring and other additives have been found to make children with ADD more hyperactive and less focused. Assuming my children don't have ADD* then am thinking one meal of rainbow pancakes won't put them over the edge. Will make them in the morning just to be on the safe side. So If I do make them then I want to do it right and it will be a one off treat - unless they are such a hit that they will be the solver of all fights in the house - in which case I will make them at every opportunity and perhaps even ask the kindy to put them on their menu.

*Unless ADD stands for

A - Attention - something to be chosen at will and quite often not chosen at all when two or three years old.

D - Deficit - usually in hearing. What ! Are those ears painted on son?

D - Dickhead - something to be said to mummy at random intervals just to piss her off. Dickhead - baka in Japanese. Definately at the list of top ten things Shou and Marina like to say to mummy to spark a reaction.

So if ADD stands for the above then my kids have it and when I make rainbow pancakes on Sunday there are going to be two small children running round the park yelling baka (dickhead) at the top of their lungs, ignoring anyone that has the misfortune of trying to talk to them and spending thrity seconds on the slide followed by ten seconds running round mental, followed by forty seconds trying to climb back up the roller slide in slippery shoes, followed by three minutes running down the beach in search of crabs in the middle of winter, followed by ...

Shou and Marina's latest mean thing to say to mummy is 'mamakuso' - which they say after first saying 'hanakuso'. Hanakuso is nose (hana) followed by snot/boggies (kuso) - so I am presuming they are using mamakuso more to mean mummy your a snotface as opposed to mama shit. Either or I'm not a big fan and the other day on the way to kindy I had to lay down the law. They were screaming mamakuso from the top of their lungs so I stopped the car, did a u-turn and said that was it, no kindy, going home to spend day with mummy and perhaps a couple of chairs, some ducktape and one ration of water and bread.

They stopped immediately, appologised and resorted to singing the 'eels on the bus' . For two minutes until I heard Shou whisper (newly acquired skill) very softly to Marina 'ssshhhhhhhhh, mamakuso'. giggle giggle giggle.

It was hard but I managed not to laugh or even let them know that I had heard. Gotta let them have their brotherly/sisterly moments where they gang up on mummy and are kings of the world.

Speaking of kindy - Shou was absolutely fine this morning. We had a few issues at dinner time but overall it wasn't so bad. He has lost most of his cough but has snotty nose enough to make him sound very blocked up. So much in fact that I crawled into bed with him at bedtime - out like a light in about three minutes. Him, not me. I was back downstairs to give Ryu a bottle.

Despite the fact that I was thinking about starting to ween him off the boob anyway it would appear that he is getting in first - ouch. This morning when I tried to shove some boob in his mouth he had a token suck and then did the big back arch. Granny K, who was standing about 30cm away, reckons it is because I drink too much coffee. I had to remind her that while I do go through the process of making a cup of coffee in the morning very very very rarely (about as often as Haley's comet) do I get to drink any substantial amount before it goes cold. I also don't slug it back at night. I would be more inclined to think that perhaps he just isn't an Oreo Cheesecake kind a boy. Definately had my share, and everyone elses, of that over the last few days - and by the way is just as yummy on day one, two and three after making.

Right, best get back to looking for kamen rider money box. Is going to be next strategy to try and get Shou to get with the program a bit more. He is into money but is still young enough not to know the difference between one yen and a hundred. He will get money for acts of kindness and good will towards man - or more importantly anything that makes our life and cohesion as a family easier. What bollicks. Ten yen for going to sleep on his own, ten for eating all his dinner on his own, five for doing the bath things without picking a fight and one yen for smaller things like good sharing and helping mummy. You would be surprised at how much we still do for him. Embarrassing.

Right, hear hub home.


Christ, nearly forgot. Title of Post - who saw the speed skating today? I don't get off watching men speeding along in lycra body suits but it was still good entertainment. Ryu and I were jumping up and down yelling go go go - well I was and Ryu was laughing at me being a silly bugger.

Monday, 15 February 2010

Rainbow? Pot of Gold?

Aren't these just fabulous? Have been blog surfing and found these over at Wendy's blog. Her hub gave them a go and while they didn't turn out as story book colorful as these they were pretty fantastic. Am thinking cooking rainbow pancakes might make for a fun Sunday without daddy activity. Well, keep them entertained for about seven and a half minutes at least. Might have to get some cream and custard on the go too so we can make rainbow pancake towers!

The sproglets are finally all asleep. Bit of an effort tonight -as was this morning with Shou packing an absolute mental on the way to kindy. He didn't want to go and has never been like this before. I felt terrible - obviously not enough so to keep him at home. He had a bit of a snotty nose so me thinks he might be getting a cold. The teachers said he was fine though - when I rang up at nine to check.

Had to go and do big shop today, in preparation for hub's bento making and just in case the kids get sick and have to take a day or two off kindy. They have been great this winter so it would be murphy's law that just as we are starting to maybe see the very beginnings of spring that they would get colds. The kindy teachers are temperature nazis so having to stay at home doesn't always mean being so sick they can't run riot and behave like headless chickens.

Ryu had a huge sleep this morning which was no surprise as he was wide awake at 5. Not happy but dealt to it by plonking him in front of young einstein while I went back to bed. No sing songs or play time with mummy at that hour. Bugger right off. Perhaps if I had had more than an hours sleep in a row before then but no such luck.

Bought up a storm at the shops - including some genki drinks per hub's request. Just hope he is intending on having them in the morning before work and not at night.

Ryu and I popped in to see Jo for a cuppa and a nappy change - and for Ryu to be the laughiest baby ever for Jo. Should have taken my camera.

Shou was in a very definant mood tonight. I was very good though and didn't lose it - much. At dinner time he sat there crunching bits of apply up and spitting them out on the floor, repeat, repeat, repeat. I just ignored him and pretty soon he stopped and even tried to clean some of it up when a box of tissues ended up strategically placed infront of him.

He also said he hates me and that he will never forgive me for taking the toothpaste off him. Poor boy. It must be hard when the worst thing you've got to complain about is mummy taking the toothpaste off you.

Best get going - got some hearts to cut up. My Thursday English class is doing a belated Valentines Day lesson this week as last week was a public holiday. We are doing cards and decorating chocolates.

Very boring sorry.


Sunday, 14 February 2010


Iyoiyo - here we go.

Tomorrow is the start of the worst month ever. I have just seen hub's official schedule. He feels he needs to show it to me so I won't have a go at him asking where he is all the time. Wonder why I'm like that though??

From tomorrow the tax blokes go around the halls and community centers and spend all day helping people with their tax returns. It lasts exactly one month, after which they then have to spend however long sorting through them. I presume it has to be in before the end of March so perhaps the shittiest month ever will last for six weeks.

This might not sound so bad, sitting in a local hall helping vestlings work out how much they spent on fertilizer for the rice this year. The shit bit is is that they are still expected to do their normal work as well. Hub is in charge of tax returns and therefore is on the schedule EVERY DAY (except Saturdays (none of them do Saturdays) - but including Sundays) for the next four weeks. This means that he will have to go back to the office every day after they finish to do his normal work. He won't be driving home down our paddy driveway until after ten every night.

No time for silver balls in that schedule I tell ya.

Although today when he went to work I kissed him at the genkan with a 'silver balls today and you can forget about coming home tonight'.

I feel sorry for him I do. So damn busy and can't even have a few hours of 'peace' at pachinko. He just needs to get with the gaijinwife program and not lie about shit.

He was away all day today. Bless him though cause I got to sleep in till half seven, after a crap night but still. Granny K looked after Marina most of the day. Ryu slept for two hours this morning and him and Marina both slept for two hours in the afternoon so today wasn't as horrendous as it could have been.

After lunch (which was weeners, egg roll and chicken bits - all so I could test out the new frypan) we did our valentines day fondu...

Not in my proper fondu thing obviously but none the less they made a right mess of themselves and seemed to enjoy it - so much in fact that Marina was still trying to suck the chocolate off the bowl twenty minutes after all the good stuff was gone!!

I had the cheesecake I made yesterday (which looks like I have attacked it with a pink bedazzler) and a bottle of wine for hub and I but he had work to do so sat here doing that instead of sipping wine over cheesecake and gazing into each others eyes (giggle giggle) like I was imagining. Nevermind but. I had all the wine by self so will sit here gazing into something. He did try the cake though and, when prompted, even said it was very scrumptious.

Well, am pretty wrecked. I will need to nap tomorrow - and have decided infact that in order to survive the next month of shitty hell chaos I will need to nap when I can, exercise more and drink less coffee and beer and more water. Or just do what ever I need to survive - which more rightly may involve having to buy industrialized can of coffee and shares in local brewery.

Ryu has just had his dream feed (first of many - bottle tonight) so best get off to bed while the going is good.

Happy Valentines Day to you all.


Saturday, 13 February 2010

Day out for Mummy (long)

The latest mummy and baby mag that arrived the other day has an article called "Daddy and baby at home (alone)". I'll forgo the Japanese because I can't be assed typing it in but basically the article is all about daddy staying at home to look after the baby while mummy gets a much deserved break. Some snippets... and bear in mind this is written by a man for other men.

"So it's nearing the end of the new (start of) year drinking parties. Before your wife has a go at you for always being the one out having a good time why don't you surprise her by telling her you'll stay at home and look after the baby while she goes out for the day.

You're probably thinking it will be piss easy staying at home with the baby in your own house - where you know where everything is. But do you? Where are the bumwipes? What snacks can you feed the baby? But if you start to panic the baby will pick up on it and act up. Renew your respect for your wife who has to do this shit every fuckin day.

Even if you think you know everything don't let on. Ask your wife EVERYTHING before she goes out. What time should I do this, that and the other? If she has a jab at you for being so pathetic and not knowing anything say "へぇー、そんなこともしてるんだ。ママはすごいね" (wow! do you do all of that? You are soooooo amazing)

GW EDIT NOTE - wife - try not to bash husband over head with four compartmental super bento making frypan if he says this to you.

After mummy has left it will actually be quite fun. Scary mummy has gone and now you get to do some of the stuff you couldn't do normally. Tell your child ママにナイショ! (it's a secret from mummy). Remember to stuff the crisp or other snack that you shouldn't be giving your child right at the back of the bin so your wife doesn't find it.

Don't forget that your wife will probably have a go at you when she gets home regardless of that fact that you and the baby are both still alive and the house is still standing. The house will be a pigsty no doubt so prepare yourself for something like 'For fucks sake you silly fucker. If I had known the house was going to be such a bloody bombsite when I got home I wouldn't have gone.'

If she says something like this to you don't try and make a comeback like 'but I can't do it all' type of thing just handle it like a man with something like 'I'm sorry. Sorry. I'll clean up right this minute'.

And to finish it off don't forget to tell her that after spending a day in her shoes you now know how hard it is for her'

End of article.

I'm sure you'll appreciate the few extra words I added in there but seriously, minus the fucks and bloodys, that is what it said. Aren't you pleased this nation of men are getting such good daddy and good husband advice?

SO anyway, hub just got home and has made very appreciative noises of my butajiru - actually not proper butajiru as wasn't miso flavor. I asked Granny K for her recipe for her toshikoshi soba - the new years noodles. I really like her broth. Family secret recipe is two types of soya sauce, bit of sugar and then just make sure you have the secret veges like shitake mushrooms, gobo (?), raddish, spud, chinese cabbage, carrot and pork. Easy as and all members of the family - including Ryu - had some.

Also made some cheesecake for tomorrow - hub perfers cheesecake to normal cake - so stole Nay's Oreo cheesecake recipe and gave it a whirl. Lots of mess in the kitchen but it turned out well I think.

Ryu and I had an awesome sleep this morning. Both went down at nine and he didn't wake up till half eleven - I probably would have slept for another three years if he hadn't woken up but :) Last night was pretty horrendous and for the love of God I hope he gets those teeth soon. Granny K offered to look after him this afternoon so I could get some more sleep but I declined. Nice offer but.

I spoke to my mum - a bit of a negative call on my part. So negative obviously that she suggested I be put in a room with one of her (negative) sisters and my dad. Awesome. What a way to cheer a girl up. My other sister is doing greeeeeeeeat though. Mum is up there next week for a big dinner thing she has. Honestly, in the amount of time and money (flights and petrol) going to and fro the last few months she could have come and met her grandson.

Enough about that though - Just deleted a whole paragraphy of juicy stuff :( more like three on unbloggables and the family business. I'm sure it will come out on here eventually. I just haven't got the energy at the moment to deal with the backlash if god forbid, my family actually read this.

Bar my little bro of course. Thanks Uncle Dam for wanting to keep up with our news and my shite and my rantings. Still gutted you wont be coming to play in July. You might have to send over another cool construction vehicle so I can keep Shou on the Uncle Dam rocks path!

On another tangent - anyone else watch the opening ceremony today? I am such a pleb. Was all teary watching Japan walk in. New Zealand you ask? I think I was on the loo. Such is Japanese media - plays all these human heartstring stories about the members of the Japan team. How could you but not want to cheer them on. I could name half the Japanese team and not one person on the New Zealand one. Am well looking forward to the next 16 days of the world coming together as one in sport - oooohhh, wipe, wipe. Nothing worse than a breastfeeding, sleep deprived mother at that time of the month!!

I thought they were going to play the new version of 'we are the world' - with perhaps an appearance by Celine Dion?? Is that happening at the closing ceremony perhaps? Wasn't too impressed with Brian Adams and the other chicks song but KD Lang sounded great.

Right, time for a beer with hub. Almost wish I was pregnant so I could scrounge a foot rub with a reason.

Might not get to post tomorrow night - after whole day of the kiddies on own. Sigh. I almost have no 'shiawase' left I have been sighing so much lately. Is there a Japanese saying? I have been told that everytime you sigh you lose a bit of happiness. In which case is no bloody wonder I am so down lately and therefore sighing more. Just asked hub though and he has no idea. Perhaps am talking out my ass. Wouldn't be the first time.


Friday, 12 February 2010

Psssssst, all finished!!

Just sent translation off. Yay. Was a very profound day with translations on quasicrystals, clinical psychology and discrete mathematics.

Hub is home early but in need of the computer so have to be quick.

Very ealry start to day with Ryu wide awake at 5. Decided to get up and sort stuff out so I could crawl back into bed after taking the kids to kindy - as had all intentions of spending today and tomorrow finishing the translation. And therefore time for couple of hours to nap back some of my sleep deprivation.

It is always a great idea - when I am still stucked up warm in my duvet. Not so inviting when I have to get back into a cold bed by myself. So, not wanting to suggest a warm bed snuggle up with Granny K I dumped the nap idea and translated instead.

Until lunch when I LEFT the baby with Granny K and WENT FOR LUNCH CHILDLESS. Kept feeling like I had left something behind. Well, obviously but you know - was odd feeling. Coffee Chiemi left her accessory baby at home too and together we spent the whole hour scoffing spaghetti, choccy sundaes and talking about our respective three pre-school aged children and town office koumuin husbands.

Got home and took Ryu for drive to drop off DVD and get ingredients for choccy fondu party on Sunday night for valentines day - just the fam dam though. Should put Marina and Shou in enough chocolate for a year. Maybe will do it at lunchtime instead so they have a good seven hours to run off the sugar.

More work in the afternoon followed by completely fogeting that I had told mikiprune lady that I might rock up to her house around two for her coffee afternoon. Shit, but nevermind. They would have just tried to tell me mikiprune was the healer of all wounds, diseases, flummies, you name it and mikiprune will heal it.

The kids were good (loose meaning there) this evening.

And me....... I am A LOT better than yesterday.

Best let hub do some work.

Off to have a bath - kids didn't get one this evening. Am going to soak to my hearts content - with a beer. I deserve it all you discrete mathematical geeks.


Thursday, 11 February 2010

Woe is me.

Thankyou Japanese TV for putting two naked (not sexy but) men trying to both fit into a drum-can bath - being heated over a real fire on a beach somewhere - and making it all fall over while one of them was trying to get in. Made me laugh it did - as only Japanese variety TV can.

And I think that was the first time I have laughed all day.

Has been a long day it has.

I think I may have even started it off by feeding Ryu his banana, Farrex (baby rice cereal) apple mash through tears. No specific reason. Sometimes it all just gets on top of me - usually happens on a Sunday or day like today when all the kids are at home. God, makes it sound like I have about ten kids running amok and not just the three!

The things that got on top of me... you mean apart from hub three too many times in the last four years...

Had to go to the bank yesterday to get ping to pay for mammoth petrol station bill of 800 dollars - including four snow tyres but still. Got enough for the bill and small shop at the supermarket and was shocked/surprised to see we only have 25 dollars left until pay day, which is the 21st.

Nothing sinister in the amount - hub hasn't been pilphering it all to go to pachinko. Everything in the bankbook checks out but there has just been a lot taken out since last time I checked - kindy fees, mobile phone, solar panal loan rah bloody rah. It doesn't mean we have to live off moyashi (sprouts) for the next two weeks as I have secret stash in mug in back of cupboard and my account which still has the remnants of my last translation pay in it, but it was still a shock.

I somehow thought there was at least a thousand dollars in there. Shite, that's how good at budgeting I am!! Actually, how can you be crap at something you don't even do :)

So, after finding that out yesterday I emailed my little bro to say that Ryu and I wouldn't be hitting Hokkaido with him for friend's wedding but hoped that he would still come. There's a lot of stuff going on at home at the moment and that coupled with that I am actually going to be seeing them all later in the year then I do understand if he decides not to come. God I want to see him though. Shou and Marina will be at school before they get to see any NZ family again at this rate. And to tell you the truth 'Uncle Dam' (my little brother and not his real name - but what Shou calls him) is the name Shou can draw out of the hat the fastest. He knows Granny and Granddad but he associates them with being told off over playing with the metronome on top of the piano at home. Uncle Dam however gave him his favorite digger and dump trump.

I didn't get a reply back but just the fact that I even sent the text got me off on the wrong foot this morning. Breakfast was fine I guess - Shou was being a silly bugger after not much sleep - didn't get to sleep till ten last night (don't even get me started). Hub offered to look after all of them while I did some work. I have to use the online dictionary though so can't exactly faff off to the park to work and drink coffee.

Seeing as work was not on option we left Marina (sorry sweetie) at home with Granny and took the boys out for a few hours. Fine, but when we got back Shou somehow managed to dismantle Marina's hina dolls out on the table/ledge bit in the genkan. They were all OK except the boyfriend's sword which was bent at right angles. I went bloody wild - he knows he isn't allowed to touch them and the fuckers cost 1500 dollars so I was not happy. Hub managed to bend it kind of back into shape enough to fit back into it's sword case.

After lunch Ryu went down for a long nap (bless him) and hub and Granny K took the princess and the spawn of the devil out shopping. I thought they were only going to shop ten minutes away but they infact ventured about an hour away and didn't get back till dinner time. I got two more profiles finished and talked for ages to a friend that rang so feeling loads better by the time they got back and not quite like needed to cash them all in.

Honestly, somedays I really question the choices I have made. The glass is usually half empty and all that. Today was worse than usual though. I shouldn't have ended it by ringing home to ask someting quite stupid but which, after reading an email this evening, I got a bit panicked about and just had to know. Not fair on sister - she has heaps of stuff going on at the moment. They all do. We all do. The whole world does.

Don't you just feel though that some days you are starting to sink and that you have to snap out of it?

Anyhoo, fortunately crap Japanese TV has helped me snap out of it - that and the fact that the house was quiet for my 8pm English class. Has been a while! So much easier without a child on my knee or a baby crying in the next room.

Enough already.

Woe is me.

Tomorrow is another day.


Wednesday, 10 February 2010

The best blind date...

Just watching program on the best job for a 'gokon aite' - someone you have a group blind date with, usually same numbers of females and males. So in order of worst to best...

Entrepreneur - rich but lot of stuck up wankers

Media related blokes - life of the party at the gokon but shit hours so wouldn't get to see them enough at home.

Lawyer - you'd lose the fights

Doctor - lots of doctors are doctors because their fathers were and marrying into that kind of family would be a bit shit.

Civil Servant - not a huge pay packet but stable position.

That would be hub. The number one gokon aite. He just felt the need to remind me how lucky I am ! Awesome, and ten minutes after I find out he has signed up to online banking through his mobile phone. He doesn't know I know. A bit of information to tuck up my sleeve until needed, as not much I can do with it now.

Today was very non-productive on the translation front. Had friend round for coffee this morning and I got a bit over enthusiastic with the cleaning and spent the whole time until she arrived cleaning, washing, folding, making beds - just in case she decided to go upstairs (but was possible as they are in the process of planning their house and I was gagging to be shown round people's houses when we were planning ours. Obviously didn't get shown round enough)

Hadn't seen friend for ages so was good to catch up. She brought her two youngest - Shou's age and a bit older than Ryu. She, and her hub, work at the town office and she is going back from April after maternity leave. We had good gass about the trials and tribulations of having three pre-school age children, the difference between boys and girls, rah rah. I probably wouldn't get into really nitty gritty goss with her but it was good to catch up anyway.

She left and Ryu and I went to the shops to get stuff for lunch and dinner. I had just turned on the computer to do some work after putting him down to nap when mikiprune lady (hub's cousin's wife) turned up with some kimono for Granny K - that she is meant to be altering for the ewok's (her older brother's) wife. He is way cute - all eighty years of him.

Could tell from way she entered the genkan that not inviting her in would have been rude. She stayed for two cups of coffee and left an hour later - cue Ryu to wake up and stay very awake until English class at four.

Have just had a half ass attempt at some work but will leave it be for tonight. Hub is home tomorrow for the public holiday - he wanted to work but after Sunday's escapades he is being made to stay home and help with the kids - he is doing work beside me now but.

Only ten minutes till CSI. May as well burn the candle at both ends and all that.


Tuesday, 9 February 2010

Getting there.

So hub came in yesterday morning and was all cuddles and appologies and I love yous. I went with the cuddles cause the more the better in my opinion, but I got very pathetic and 'but if you really loved me you wouldn't lie to me'. It was so not something I would usually say that I actually laughed, met by look of relief from hub.

I then took the kids to kindy and got there only to realise I had left the friggen naptime futons at home - or so I thought. They had been in the genkan, flung in there before it got dark after being hung out to air. They then got flung into the tatami room when the local 'giin' (city exec council dude man) came round to push for votes for upcoming election.

Anyway, I think they are still at home so come back to get them only to realise they are neatly folded and in the back of the car. Fuck it. Could he not have mentioned it on his way out the door perhaps. (OK so perhaps I should have checked - but our car is big enough to not be able to see anything in the very back unless you really really want to)

Turns out hub thought that when I left with Ryu after dinner on Sunday (in huff over pachinko thing and needing some self thought reflection time - in other words a beer run) that I would not be coming back that night and was in fact making a hasty retreat to a night at Jo's house for pregnant women, mothers of small children, and wives of gambling lieing husbands. He thought that I had packed my and Ryu's stuff and put in my car waiting to escape after dins.

So, after I left (in his car as he came home after us) he went through everything he thought he needed to do on his own for the kids - getting the kindy stuff ready and folding up the futons and putting them in the car already. I didn't find this out till yesterday. Bit gutted really. If I'd known that's what he thought perhaps I would have vacated the premises for a night - not to Jo's obviously as half an hours notice is too short even by my turn up on your doorstep standards.

Enough about that saga already. Over with.

(but oh so not forgotten)

Ryu has been a fussy bugger the last couple of days and only really had his morning nap properly meaning there isn't much oppotunity in the afternoons to get translation stuff done. That said though, I have still managed to get my self-set quota done both days. Only seven left to go - yay. Which is why I said OK when friend emailed to see if coffee was a goer tomorrow morning - here.

Will mean a bit of frantic cleaning in the morning and perhaps even dealing to the two full washing baskets on the couch - which we seem to have been living out of the past week. I seriously don't think I've opened the kids drawers. Wash, dry, wear, wash, dry, wear...
And hey, if I don't get time to deal to it in the morning I'll just put them in the washhouse for a couple of house. And I say washhouse in the loosest of loose looses. What is the name for that room off a Japanese bathroom where you get dressed and where the washing machine is??

This morning I was bringing in the mail and there was another mail order catalog for Granny K. On the front cover was a frypan. But not just any frypan. It had five compartments - all sealed off so you don't get flavors mixed up. One compartment is even a special egg roll one. I made small comment, half taking the piss, about how cool it looked. Half an hour later Granny K comes in and says she has ordered it for me and wont it be great when I have to cook hub's obento for a month starting next week.

What a gem.

I will take a photo of it when it arrives - in use of course with egg roll and god help me four other things in it. Fuck it, probably just the egg roll and four weeners.

Oh, and completely off the topic but hub rang me three times today to remind me of time changes for when the union-supported candidate for the local election would be visiting our house this evening - not to be mixed up with the other bloke who came round last night and who lives down the road and who Granny K promised she would vote for. To introduce herself and ask for our votes. chuckle chuckle. That would be the one vote - Granny K's. But we all turned up in the genkan - entranceway - where all of the great decisions get made. That and the pub where you can propose some fabulous plan and get it granted while your boss is loaded and singing kareoke with a tie round his head.

Hub, who got home about half an hour ago, said that perhaps from next year foreigners will get to vote?? Anybody know anything more about this. He reckons they have started talking about it which could well mean it takes ten years to happen - unless of course they go stand in someones genkan or go to SHIDAX for four hours.

Right, best get back to it. (the translation that is)


Sunday, 7 February 2010

Stick those silver balls up your man bits I will (long)

Crap again - just uploaded four pics and all haven't made it this far. Only have about twenty minutes though and cant be faffed spending ten of that uploading them again. So,...

It has been a busy week. The translation coming in on Wednesday, usual English classes and hub home after kiddy bedtime everynight including last night. It's a busy tax time of year. I know this. I hate this. But I understand this.

Yesterday he was at work the whole day. His whole office was. Ryu and I went to meet him for lunch. Afterall, hadn't dined with him for a whole week, not that we have dinner 'together' during the week. Dinner time with the whole family is like feeding time at the bloody zoo. Don't taste anything really just trying to get it in the mouths of the animals and make sure they don't throw it all over the room.

He said yesterday that he would definately have to work today - he had said this earlier in the week so wasn't like I was unprepared. Bugger shit but nevermind, what can you do. I have finally decided to take the whole overtime thing a bit less personally. He doesn't do it because he wants to, he does it because he has no choice.

So this morning he got up and did the kiddy thing - which he does most mornings until I come down at about 6:45 (lie in for me). The kids are usually fed and sometimes even de-nappied and changed. He played with them a bit and was about as excited as Shou when Shou got his 'gone to bed by self for one week' prezzie of a shinkenja transformer thing, that was half price at Tokiwa last week. He was off to work at half eight.

(insert photo of Shou with big grin playing with transformer)

Decided it was time Shou had a haircut so rang friend (whose daughter I teacher English to) to see if their place (very funky for inaka) could fit us in. 10:15 - no worries. Had talked to Shou about the old choki choki and that it didn't hurt rah rah, as first ever haircut - bar the time Granny K took his first big curl off the back (bitch bitch bitch bitch).

Following this conversation with Shou I took out all the crafty stuff - toiltet rolls, milk cartons, pipe cleaners, balloons etc and we had an arts and craft-a-thon. I went briefly to go get Ryu and when I came back Shou had snipped a handfull of hair off.

(insert photo of Shou quietly making a jet airplane out of a milk container and popsicle sticks with a big pile of own hair on table infront of him)

To be quite honest at first glance I didn't notice as his hair is so like mine - curly and fly-away. I didn't realise until I saw the pic I had taken of him being so craftsy and artsy. Shit. Definately have to go to the hairdressers now.

Hairdressers went well...

(insert photo of Shou in big hairdresser chair with white cape)

Got home, had lunch and put Marina and Ryu down for a nap. Granny K said she would take Shou to the temple next door and I thought, for a brief five minutes, that I might get an hour to myself - or rather to pick shit off the floor and pack half cut-up loo rolls away. Not to mention bits of first born son's hair. But no, Marina woke up, followed in quick succession by Ryu. Outside to play with all of them - and me obviously as Ryu unable to swing on his own.


Let the story telling begin.......

Had been talking with Shou about Bessy - the concrete laying beast of a machine from Lightening McQueen. There is one about fifteen minutes drive away so we decided to go on a 'kouji genba hunt' - hunt for road works. Pack all kids in car as feel Granny K needs a break too. Shou falls asleep just about as soon as I start the engine but not to fear as I have the camera and can take pictures of all the wonderful vehicles he will miss.

(insert photo of yellow and black concrete laying bessy wannabe)

There is lots of road works going on at the moment so I keep driving - all the way to the next town in fact. Decide to go past hokahoka (fast food bento shop) to pick up some fried chicken bits to go with udon for dinner. In doing so I have to bypass hub's office. Look in and don't see car in carpark. Start thinking...

Bollocks actually - had thought about it almost as soon as had pulled out of driveway that would private detective hub.

So, do a u-turn through the pachinko (silver ball gambling extablishment) car park and what do you know...

(insert photo of hub's car sneakily parked in between two tanks)

The funny thing - I didn't feel pissed off. I didn't feel hard done by, and I didn't feel like racing home to heat the inkan up to sign the divorce papers. I kind of felt indifferent. Of course if the kids had been terrors all day I would have felt extreme hatred and perhaps even storm troopered the pachinko parlor in persuit of my lieing husband.

Got home, kids played outside while Ryu slept and I made dinner. I wasn't going to say anything to Granny K but when she made a comment about how tired I must be - but also how tired hub must be.... I casually laughed and agreed - must be fucking tiring turning that pachinko knob. Fuckin I'll turn your knob buddy. I actually said she could ring hub if she liked - and tell him to perhaps come home a bit early as he had been caught out.

She did ring him - but he was just pulling into the drive so she didn't say that I knew. She must have rung the older brother though as hub later said that he got a funny call from him asking where he was.... ditto with the one from the lady in his office asking if he was home yet.

That was me though - I rang her when I vacated the premises with Ryu after dinner with strong words for the kids to be bathed upon my return. She hadn't been at work today though but vouched for his being there yesterday and everyday before. She then promtply rang hub and asked where he was - but didn't say that I had rung her. Fair play.

Drams, bloody dramas. Turns out he was only there for an hour and a half and only arrived about fifteen minutes before I saw his car there. Talk about bloody bad luck. Told him he should stop going his luck was so shit. Also said that I know he is busy and I know he is stressed (dito and dito) but could he not talk to me.

"Hey, lovely gaijinwife of mine, I am about to keel over with exhaustion from work. Do you mind if I go to pachinko for a couple of hours." Instead of this sneaky shit while I am at home with three small children.

I didn't let him get away scott free though. I did putt the 'you would rather play pachinko than come home and play with your children' soooooob sooooooob card. I also reminded him we all have fully valid passports and enough cash to skip the country.

So, not quite shoving the silver balls up his man bits but that was just good fortune on his part - good fortune that I had a good mummy day.


PS - although while I was out with Ryu after dinner Shou apparently tipped over the whole bag of rice - as in big bag that we take to get de-husked. He had been sentenced to ten years in his room and was howling when I walked in the door.

Saturday, 6 February 2010

Wannabe Kiwi Husband

Random New Zealand facts

We have the most golf courses per capita - as well as the most yachts. There are 14 times the number of sheep than people. When did that happen? I used to have in my New Zealand speech when was CIR that it was 20 times the population. Either there is one massive baby boom going on or everyone is eating shitloads more lamb and mutton.

Hub was meant to be home and I hope he gets here soon as the whole show - called 不思議発見 or mysterious discoveries - is on the kiwi husband, supposedly the best husband in the world. Whatever. But would make hub feel not so hard done by. I've never asked him to vacuum :)

30 minutes later (Ryu woke twice and has been put back to bed with some boob and some pamol) - hub is now home and making song and dance of how much of a 'kiwi husband' he is. Think I'll just let that be. Wont start the non-housework stuff, like overtime and voluntary obligatory on the lash with the wannabe firemen, union lads.

Anyhoo, need to use points as losing train of thought.

1. Translation

Yesterday was a very productive day which was just as well as today was the opposite. I still got three done today but it was extremely tedius and Ryu was punishing me for ignoring him too much yesterday. I wanted to pass him off to Granny K instead of baby einstein this afternoon but she was out on a temple-crawl.

As I was looking up words on online dictionary I came across, completely by accident, this little gem...

無理なことを試みる beat one's head against a [the] (brick [stone] wall.

Made my day it did.

2. Sleeping Arrangements

I thought, and even commented on a blog or two, that Ryu had perhaps gotten over his crap sleeping. Talk about counting your eggs or chickens or whatever. Every hour last night. Every fricken hour. I was ready to enroll him in sumo school from eight months. He could be the next Asashoryu - all the non beating, non playing soccer when you supposedlyhave a dodgy back and all other non bad bits of course. I reckon chanko nabe wouldn't be a bad food for babies to start on.

We still haven't caved in and gotten in bed with Shou when putting him to bed. I should actaully be using 'I' but I guess hub did have the one night I was singing bad renditions of every song I could think of and swilling too many cervesas out in Fukuoka. It has however been quite painful. Well, for the first week. There have been a few nights where he has truely gone to sleep on his own - with the door open but with no lights on and with me not present beside his bed. Tonight was one of those - but there was half an hour of turn the lights on and mummy beside bed thing beforehand.

I have decided though that lying on floor beside bed is infact excellent time to do stretches. Have figured out an exercise plan and is sufficient enough to get me some heavy breathing so Shou knows I am still there without having to sit up and look. I know he has his eyes shut if I can get away with doing the 'bicycle'.

3. Marina

Is so deeply entrenched in the terrible twos that I fear I will have to bribe her to come to her own 21st. The current phase is 'NO' or 'iya' in Japanese. Said to everything out of principle, regardless of whether she actually means it or not.

4. Shou

Is sleeping with popochan and just this evening had a go at Granny K's lipstick. Popochan was a Granny K prezzie to Marina. So, if it should eventuate that Shou likes Brad and not Angelina then Granny K can take credit. She'd be horrified. I'd probably be pleased I didn't have a daughter in law to contend with. Especially if she turned out to be like me. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

5. Hub

He's not really here much so what can I say - oh except last night. Revolutionary Road with Kate and Leo was on satelite. I hadn't seen it before so had it on when Hub (oh my God, I just typed Brad and had to delete it) came home. Saw most of it together and somehow got into argument during the scene when the wife April runs out into the woods after hub tells her he doesn't want the baby rah rah. It was a stupid argument - and had nothing to do with abortions or babies but still made me pissed off enough to not want to spoon cuddle in bed.

Actually the usual sleep position is facing back to back but with me trying to get as many bodily bits flattened out against hub - end up sleeping like a sideways tin soldier but hub is sooooooooo warm and I always forget to put on my fluffy bed socks and of course go to bed after hub as have Ryu to deal with.

6. Granny K
Has actually been very good and doing a stella job at helping out. When I pack my complete spaz attacks she stays clear though. Good woman. She is either getting better at luring the kids into her room or thinks it is in the best interests of everyone if at least one child is taken out of the chaotic mix - usually Marina.

7. Me
Lazy ass still but unavoidable while translation going on - bar of course my nightly stretch and crunch classes in Shou's room.

Right, and thats enough points for tonight.


Thursday, 4 February 2010


Actually not respect at all. Wanted to put K.N.A.C.K.E.R.E.D but it didn't have the same ring to it!

To delve into a little of what I have been doing today:

Axiom (not something you chop wood with)
Artificial Life (popo-chan reborn perhaps?)
Infinite Sets (too much tennis??)
Deformation of hard objects (bend the boner?)

The only reason I didn't find that concrete wall today was because I didn't have time. Did my quota of over qualified lecturer profiles. Also did my quota of screaming at the kids. And guess what...

Marina went to bed with NO DINNER. It has been threatened before but not enforced. Seriously though tonight was just too much. I'm off my feet busy all day but still find the time to cook dinner (curry, misoshiru, salad and fruit). She wont have a bite - licks the spoon a couple of times and thats it. I try to take it away but she packs a hissy fit - but forty minutes later and she still hasn't had any so I trash it. She runs off to Granny's room and ignores me for a good ten minutes. After granny changes her into her PJs I make same milk (caved in) and take her to bed - not a peep after that. And when I gave her cuddles good night we had a little two year old talk.

Shou, who did eat his dinner, told me off for being such a bitch - which I deserved. He then proceeded to not go to sleep and spent the hour I was teaching in Granny K's room coloring in Kamen Rider (double). I then tucked him in and he went to sleep on his own. We're getting there I think. Slowly but surely.

And now, it is time for me to go and curl under the duvet with hub. We are both so knackered we haven't got the time or energy to argue let alone get any legs over. God, I think I'd put my back out.