Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Baby Massage

Well that record still aint fixed and last night wasn't very good either. I am thinking that, at nearly eight months, Ryu may be
a. teething (again - what happened last time? Suckers got sucked back down into the gums. I was positive I could see some white) or
b. getting used to the solids thing.

He has two meals of solids a day - usually mashed banana and bread in the morning and a proper mashy vegetable fishy ricey disgusting homemade gloop thing in the evening, which he scoffs back. He didn't deposit anything substantial yesterday which must have been uncomfortable as he is a pretty regular little boy.

Tonight I tried a nice bath followed by a massage to see if that would sooth him to sleep some more - coupled with some pamol and teething gel just in case. Gotta cover all my bases here.

Why the massage?

I went to the baby massage class at the local centre this morning. I was pretty knackered and was nearly going to flag it but decided the worst that could happen would be that Ryu got a nice rub down. I am waiting in vain for a massage class for mummies. How nice would that be.

The town sent us a postcard about the class which hub left in his desk at work - as actually the social welfare woman who runs it gave it straight to him. Got hub to mail me the time this morning - he said 10am. Granny K had gone off to pottery class at the same centre and rang saying my class started at half 10. Who to believe? The husband with the postcard in his hands on the Granny who is at the actual location talking to someone who is helping with it. Hmmmmm. I decided not to take sides and rocked up at 10:15. To find everyone in a nice circle already having weighed their babies and been given the handouts and little samples of baby massage oil.

There were seven mothers and babies altogether. I knew only one other woman - who introduced me to her sister n law sitting beside her, and then whispered in my ear (in plain view of sister) that she had come back to Kunimi ON HER OWN with her two kids. OK, another bit of useless information to file away with the petrol station bloke's sick grandpa.

Ryu loved the massage. But then he loves getting naked full stop. We used grapeseed oil (I think) but she reckoned any 100% oil would be fine. Olive oil OK too if you fancy a baby smelling like a greek salad. I'm not sure if the low cholestoral cooking oil you can get at our fine supermarket would be very good though. Might have a hunt round Fukuoka - 3 tablespoons of base oil to a couple of drops of aroma oil, lavenda or chamomile. Or I could just use the J&J baby massage lotion I got from friend.

Tonight's massage wasn't quite as it should have been though. No quiet room with nice BGM playing and rose smelling candle lit and mum with a glass of wine to sip in between thigh roll rubs and limpa charka whatsit strokes and circly finger thingies. No no. Fire crackling, anpanman on full tit and two children running rambage with Granny K trying her best to make sure they don't stomp on Ryu's head. He still loved it though and is sleeping in peaceful slumber at the moment - long may it last.

Yeah right. He'll be gagging for boob in ten minutes. Woe is me. He had so much for dinner too the bloody bottemless pit.

In between teaching us the massage stuff the teacher was talking about parent child bonding and how we should be gazing peacefully and lovingly into each other's eyes when breastfeeding - as opposed to typing on the computer, skulling back coffee to keep self awake, watching the box or gassing on the phone. I like to think that instead of being a crap mummy because half the time I am doing something else while I boob feed, I am infact honing my wonderful multitasking skills. Christ, I haven't got time to faff round with twenty minutes of loving looks. Things to do people. Cheese to order, friends to talk to.

That said though she had some really valid points that made me think long and hard about my current mummying. Some were...

1. up until the age of 3 - LOVE
2. bewteen 3 and 6 - SHITSUKE (training or fuuuuuuuuuuck I can't think of the English word. Help me out here - as training sounds like what you would do for a dog.)
3. 6 to 9 years is proper language ... and after that I kind of phased out as far too many years down the track for me to input properly.

What it means though is that I am way too hard on Marina. There are so many times when I just expect her to behave like Shou - when 16 months is a huge difference at that age.

4. praise your child 50 times a day. At the time I thought shit that's a far amount, but upon coming home this evening and being more conscious of what I was doing I realised it isn't that actually that many. Good boy Shou. Thank you so much for actually navigating that spoonful of dinner into your mouth. Aren't you doing well. Well done Marina, for getting a tissue all by yourself to wipe the hand that wasn't the hand you used to put that meant-to-be-spoonful of stew into your mouth. Praise the good, look over the bad unless it is dangerous or in your face defiant, and take a serious chill pill for the rest.

I can do this.

I think I can, I think I can.

Had English this arvo and coffee with coffee Chiemi. She made the comment that she has recently started thinking babies are cute again - her youngest (of three - oldest six) will be 1 next month. What she means of course is that babies are all cute but she has just started thinking again that another one of her own wouldn't be too bad. We had quite a lengthy discussion on this and both agreed that if the baby slept... I want me one of those babies that come out the saloon doors asleep, wakes up for a little cry and then promptly goes back to sleep for the next three years.

She then said she could probably almost go through that again though - but what the fuck if it was twins (which someone posted a comment about on yesterday's post). Fuck I reckon. You'd have to laugh but. Nothing else to do. Yesterday's comment suggested I would need a two week stay in a clinic for twins.

I replied that I would need six months on a beach in the Carribean with a wet nurse, two nannies, a chef and a bartender.

SDGH&QL people.

PS - 3 more sleeps till minibreak.


Midori said...

Shitsuke is discipline. I have to say that ignoring discipline until kids are 3 is bollocks and the reason that the majority of Japanese toddlers behave horribly. I have always been pretty strict with Joey and had both my MIL and SIL comment on how "mean" I was and how it was ok for toddlers to misbehave. Bollocks again to that as I think you have to start with boundaries early, even if they get ignored at various horrible phases!! That said, I realised when reading your post that I probably don't praise Joey very much anymore.. might be time to sling some "well dones" in somewhere in the hope his behaviour improves!! :-)

Sorry, mini-rant there. I am really sorry that something is causing Ryu to not sleep properly. Hope the baby massage helps. Joey loved baby massage and I was quite sad when he got too old to go. I used to use normal baby lotion for ours so I figure anything works, it is just about the contact and the time spent with your child.

Enjoy your mini-break. I am hanging out for my Joey-free night on Saturday.. can't wait! :-)

Kelly said...

Baby massage is great. It's something I learnt when I became a certified masseuse. I usually use almond oil but the Johnson massage oil you used is also great.

I am not sure if you have heard but I know johnson also make a sleepy bathtime bath thingamajig and lotion (could be good for massage too) that is meant to make babies sleepy and sleep well, it's got lavender in it.

Another option to try if you see it around.

Wishing you lots of sleep very soon! :)

illahee said...

discipline means teaching. i am all for teaching children from the time they are born. we are all learners. we (ok, i) just need to teach with love. :D

...and i just know, with my luck, if i got pregnant with #4, there would be twins in there. and there's not tropical island, wet nurses, bartenders or chef in my life, anywhere! so yeah, not gonna happen for me! ;)

Anonymous said...

Hey Katy
Hope you have a great break - you deserve it! Hope Ryu sleeps like an angel... in the bath??! Well we've all done it!! Enjoying your blog when its quiet at work :-) Am curious about the unbloggables, need to call you.. Spice is on her way to Barrs as I type, they are going to ACDC tonight - hopefully they won't put their necks out. Have a great weekend my friend and try not to miss them at all - is hard though, you look forward to it so much and then miss them, so annoying!! Love Nicole

Sherry said...

Last fall I was forced by my dd's kindy to attend a lecture by some supposedly famous child care expert. Was expecting the same kind of "yasashi mama" crap I always hear. She outright said that the whole looking lovingly into your baby's eyes while you breastfeed instead of watching tv or whatever during that time is a complete load of sh*t and if you don't take whatever few minutes you can when you can for yourself then you will lose your mind and what kind of crap mother will you be then The whole point of her lecture was basically "don't let those b*tches guilt you into martyrdom!" It was refreshingly hones, and I loved it.

Gaijin Wife said...

Discipline! that was indeed the word I was trying to remember last night. Thankyou.

I'm all for some discipline from a young age. I can't image my life if I let my kids run riot 24/7. I do need to remember that my kids are only this age once though and that while these are some tough years there are also lots of beautiful moments that perhaps I wash over because I'm being too much of a nazi bitch mummy spoiling the fun.

Kelly, I have infact got that lavendar baby J&J lotion and used it tonight - lots of giggles from Ryu.

Sherry - that lecture sounds like it would have been worthwhile - if not for more than making me realise that I'm not doing it all wrong and really a happy mum equals a happy household and if getting an hour of English in a day watching CSI while I give Ryu booby is the way to keep mummy happy then so be it :)

Hey Nic. How you doing? Must ring for catch up soon. Can't believe Spice and Barr are going to ACDC. What bogans! If Ryu doesn't sleep tonight or tomorrow then I am seriously bypassing a vets for some horse tranquilizors before Saturday night. Honestly, two days of freedom. Yeah right. Hope all well with you - nearly friends wedding yeah? and then can't you think about getting another one of those there cute buns in that oven of yours?

Allison said...

This was a very interesting read.
I enjoy parenting with gentile discipline.