Sunday, 31 January 2010

Girls Night Out (plus Ryu)

Only have thirty minutes. Hub needs to use puter for some work and I need to get to bed, to make up for extreme tiredness that has engulfed me after three years of very little sleep followed by a girl's night out. Had a great time but Ryu's tagging along meant another night of not much sleep. Fortunately there were four pairs of willing arms to take him from me throughout the course of our day and a half away.

Left early yesterday morning - as in after dropping the sproglets off at kindy at eight. After being joined by Jo and Rachel we hit the highway, put the top down, tied scarves round our head and laughed defiantly into the wind. Made good time to Fukuoka despite my car navi neeeechan getting completely up the fuck after being thrown into city streets (after being used to only navigating around country roads with no traffic lights). We made it to Canal City though and met Illahee and Kuri for some shopping, lunch and gossip.

Jo and I headed back to the hotel for a baby pitstop and then went strolling around the Hakata station area. Our mission was to perhaps scout out a good location for dinner but this got thrown out the window when we noticed a 'happy hour' sign. It was only four but if a weekend away with the girls doesn't warrent a drink at 4 then I don't know what does.

It was one of those typical station places - oyakodon and other donburi sets with beer and snacks. Very bright lights and small wooden tables. Upon being shown to our seat the waitress immediately asked us if we knew the beers were half price. Indeed we did . No doubt the two foreigners with the baby looked like they needed some half price beers. We had one, we had two, we had snacks, we departed - to a very smiley waitress who had been laughing with the cooking staff, no doubt all agreeing that we were looking a lot better for the lift of bubbles. That or laughing at how silly foreign women were. Imagine. Bringing a baby with you while you get on the lash at 4pm. Not exactly the lash but.

Back at the hotel Jo looked after Ryu while I soaked in the could-be-just-that-little-bit-longer Japanese business hotel unit bath. The hotel did boast a nice onsen but I didn't fancy going in to soak and talk to myself or random strangers. As I was getting out I could hear Ryu cracking up. Was having a great time and Jo took some FAB pictures not far off the ones I paid 600 dollars to a professional photographer for for Marina and Shou last year.

The other girls got back from their escapades to Tenjin and we met up for champers before hitting Shidax. Figured as seeing as it was raining, we had baggage (Ryu) and that we would probably end up at Kareoke anyway, may as well start there too! Four hours of nomihoudai (all you can drink) and all you can sing!! They don't allow groups with small children to stay past eleven anyway so we called it a night then.

Ryu slept for a good two hours - and there was some serious singing and dancing on couches going on. Think that when he wakes up tonight I will stop singing 'lavenders blue dilly dilly' and exchange it with a very loud Bon Jovi or Lady Gaga number.

Back at the inn some of the girls opt for onsens and foot spas but Ryu and I head for bed. He didn't end up wrapped in a futon in the bath and infact slept with me - quite well considering.

Not surprisngly we were up and out looking for a place for breaky at half seven. Not surprisingly in that as mothers of small children we are usually up at the crack of dawn anyway. I reckon when I do finally get my 'night' of sleep with NO children I will still end up waking up every couple of hours, thinking I hear a baby crying - which can sound freakishly similar to a cat or deer.

Costcos got hit on the way back and I came out with pasta, pasta sauce, cheese and a few other goodies. Was very tired on the drive home so Jo took over for a while. I am in need of a good sleep tonight. I hope you heard that Ryu. In my current book a good sleep would consist of at least four hours of uninterrupted sleep.

That would be nice.


- I took no pics on my real camera but will post the ones that Jo took of Ryu later.

Saturday, 30 January 2010

that would be Ryu asleep in the corner! and there are some loud noises going on!

la la la

gotta love shidax!

Doesn't take much.

A bath, a chuhai, some Nora Jones on the iPod and I am a happy woman. Ryu with Jo for forty minutes while I re-humanize myself. Then its a bit of lippy, some very purple shoes and out for dins. Via Rachel's room for wee swig of champers darling.

Friday, 29 January 2010

How purple does a pair of shoes need to be?

Have just hung out the load of washing I would usually keep until the morning. There is a big load of wood on the deck and even the dishes have been dried and put away - all in an attempt to minimise the damage of not being here for two days. I imagine the house will still be a right-off on my return on Sunday but what can you do?

Hub is out at ANOTHER union thing. Tonight's one just happens to be at the local Karaoke box so me thinks that after hub does his aisatsu (greeting/speech/waffle thing) they will all be asking for beers and fried octopus and brushing off the microphones.

Shou and Marina were very cute this morning - not that you can tell from the pic but. They were playing 'mummy's work'. Shou lined all the flashcards up on the table and would call one out - and Marina had to find it. He only packed a wee spazz when she didn't know 'hot air balloon ' - that he said in English. Fair play though, she got the rest.

Another cute English moment on the way to kindy when Shou broke out into song "all about a Saturday night". Took me a second to figure out but was from me singing "splish splash I was taking a bath all about a Saturday night, rub dub dub I was..." I have no idea if those are the correct words or not but god the boy has an ear for songs. He has heard that song a lot though - bath time favorite.

Went on wee excursion this morning to buy stuff for the weekend - for me and supplies, like eel, that hub said he needed. Dropped a dvd off, filled the car up with petrol and then just about got assaulted by an army of vestlings at the supermarket - not me of course. Ryu. Who was putting on his hundred watt smile. Even the fish man stopped deboning something or rather fishy to come out and squeeze those oh so squeezable cheeks.

Also had big talk to mum this morning -which means after all my bitching and moaning that my family don't love me I have infact spoken to all of them within the course of three days. Means I'm definately up with the play. We also managed to spend the whole conversation without talking about little bro and his perhaps impending visit to our (Japan's) fair shores. I am pro visit and she is against and any talk on the matter just would have ended in an argument.

Oh, and....

Shoes I orded from Nissen last week finally arrived - I was starting to think they wouldn't arrive by tomorrow and I would have to wear my falling to bits 1500 yen ones I wear EVERY day. Ordered these and a silver pair - leading me to believe I may have been infact stoned or wasted - unbeknownith to me. How purple can you possibly make a pair of shoes people? I'm sure the pic on the internet didn't look quite this luminous. The other pair is silver pair of space pumps with a 7cm wedge heel. Very comfy despite being 'pumps' - hate that word. Makes me feel fifty.

Anyhoo, one more sleep till Fukuoka. Which means no blog - unless I phone blog which is possible but huge pain in ass. That said I have recollection of phone blogging quite a lot in labor and when in hospital with Ryu.

X files movie has just started. Off to watch me some Scodey and Mouldy.


And remember Illahee, Kuri & Ping, Yokomatsu family blog and Jo in Japan are the ladies joining me so their blogs may not be happening the next few days either!! And I know I should link to their blogs there but if you could feel my technological pain you would understand :)

Thursday, 28 January 2010

Whats with the BGM?

Thursdays are tiring they are. Shou was up again during English tonight. Ryu woke up right towards the end so hub got him while I tried to stop flying construction vehicle cards hitting my junior high school students in the face! It was better than the last time though so hopefully, if it is going to happen every week, he settles down even more and will sit down and read or 'study'. Yeah right. He's three. One can live in hope!

After posting last night I went upstairs and started on the road to that carribean island, wet nurse, two nannies, chef and bartender. Well, got me some action at least. VERY VERY SAFE action though. Cracked me up because hub, who was asleep when I rocked up, got all school boy excited and started singing to himself. We had hub-BGM going almost the whole time. Only so many notes you can get out at certain points mind you.

This morning, when I was meant to be getting ready for English and sorting out washing and the likes, I got a phonecall from both my brother and my non un-bloggable sister (who by the way rang yesterday and we had a great talk). My little bro may be coming over in July still and 'we' may be going to the wedding in Hokkaido. I REALLY want to see him and have him come stay so we can hang out and Shou and Marina can play with 'Uncle Dam'. On the other hand I feel guilty for wanting him and encouraging him to do something that is economically unviable for him at the moment.

Oldest sister was good too. The whole family is going through some tough times at the moment and perhaps some black waters ahead in terms of the family business and roles people play in it and finances of course. To be perfectly honest I am glad I am so far away. I have a very substantial interest in the business mind you as lent it all of my savings, but I'm not in on the family dramas on a daily basis - thank god or I would have more grey hairs than the two I found this morning.


Blame those directly on Ryu and lack of sleep.

Cricky, I think I best toddle upstairs. Tiredness has taken over.


And only two more sleeps till two days of freedom plus one.

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Baby Massage

Well that record still aint fixed and last night wasn't very good either. I am thinking that, at nearly eight months, Ryu may be
a. teething (again - what happened last time? Suckers got sucked back down into the gums. I was positive I could see some white) or
b. getting used to the solids thing.

He has two meals of solids a day - usually mashed banana and bread in the morning and a proper mashy vegetable fishy ricey disgusting homemade gloop thing in the evening, which he scoffs back. He didn't deposit anything substantial yesterday which must have been uncomfortable as he is a pretty regular little boy.

Tonight I tried a nice bath followed by a massage to see if that would sooth him to sleep some more - coupled with some pamol and teething gel just in case. Gotta cover all my bases here.

Why the massage?

I went to the baby massage class at the local centre this morning. I was pretty knackered and was nearly going to flag it but decided the worst that could happen would be that Ryu got a nice rub down. I am waiting in vain for a massage class for mummies. How nice would that be.

The town sent us a postcard about the class which hub left in his desk at work - as actually the social welfare woman who runs it gave it straight to him. Got hub to mail me the time this morning - he said 10am. Granny K had gone off to pottery class at the same centre and rang saying my class started at half 10. Who to believe? The husband with the postcard in his hands on the Granny who is at the actual location talking to someone who is helping with it. Hmmmmm. I decided not to take sides and rocked up at 10:15. To find everyone in a nice circle already having weighed their babies and been given the handouts and little samples of baby massage oil.

There were seven mothers and babies altogether. I knew only one other woman - who introduced me to her sister n law sitting beside her, and then whispered in my ear (in plain view of sister) that she had come back to Kunimi ON HER OWN with her two kids. OK, another bit of useless information to file away with the petrol station bloke's sick grandpa.

Ryu loved the massage. But then he loves getting naked full stop. We used grapeseed oil (I think) but she reckoned any 100% oil would be fine. Olive oil OK too if you fancy a baby smelling like a greek salad. I'm not sure if the low cholestoral cooking oil you can get at our fine supermarket would be very good though. Might have a hunt round Fukuoka - 3 tablespoons of base oil to a couple of drops of aroma oil, lavenda or chamomile. Or I could just use the J&J baby massage lotion I got from friend.

Tonight's massage wasn't quite as it should have been though. No quiet room with nice BGM playing and rose smelling candle lit and mum with a glass of wine to sip in between thigh roll rubs and limpa charka whatsit strokes and circly finger thingies. No no. Fire crackling, anpanman on full tit and two children running rambage with Granny K trying her best to make sure they don't stomp on Ryu's head. He still loved it though and is sleeping in peaceful slumber at the moment - long may it last.

Yeah right. He'll be gagging for boob in ten minutes. Woe is me. He had so much for dinner too the bloody bottemless pit.

In between teaching us the massage stuff the teacher was talking about parent child bonding and how we should be gazing peacefully and lovingly into each other's eyes when breastfeeding - as opposed to typing on the computer, skulling back coffee to keep self awake, watching the box or gassing on the phone. I like to think that instead of being a crap mummy because half the time I am doing something else while I boob feed, I am infact honing my wonderful multitasking skills. Christ, I haven't got time to faff round with twenty minutes of loving looks. Things to do people. Cheese to order, friends to talk to.

That said though she had some really valid points that made me think long and hard about my current mummying. Some were...

1. up until the age of 3 - LOVE
2. bewteen 3 and 6 - SHITSUKE (training or fuuuuuuuuuuck I can't think of the English word. Help me out here - as training sounds like what you would do for a dog.)
3. 6 to 9 years is proper language ... and after that I kind of phased out as far too many years down the track for me to input properly.

What it means though is that I am way too hard on Marina. There are so many times when I just expect her to behave like Shou - when 16 months is a huge difference at that age.

4. praise your child 50 times a day. At the time I thought shit that's a far amount, but upon coming home this evening and being more conscious of what I was doing I realised it isn't that actually that many. Good boy Shou. Thank you so much for actually navigating that spoonful of dinner into your mouth. Aren't you doing well. Well done Marina, for getting a tissue all by yourself to wipe the hand that wasn't the hand you used to put that meant-to-be-spoonful of stew into your mouth. Praise the good, look over the bad unless it is dangerous or in your face defiant, and take a serious chill pill for the rest.

I can do this.

I think I can, I think I can.

Had English this arvo and coffee with coffee Chiemi. She made the comment that she has recently started thinking babies are cute again - her youngest (of three - oldest six) will be 1 next month. What she means of course is that babies are all cute but she has just started thinking again that another one of her own wouldn't be too bad. We had quite a lengthy discussion on this and both agreed that if the baby slept... I want me one of those babies that come out the saloon doors asleep, wakes up for a little cry and then promptly goes back to sleep for the next three years.

She then said she could probably almost go through that again though - but what the fuck if it was twins (which someone posted a comment about on yesterday's post). Fuck I reckon. You'd have to laugh but. Nothing else to do. Yesterday's comment suggested I would need a two week stay in a clinic for twins.

I replied that I would need six months on a beach in the Carribean with a wet nurse, two nannies, a chef and a bartender.

SDGH&QL people.

PS - 3 more sleeps till minibreak.

Tuesday, 26 January 2010

Broken Record

Not to sound like a broken record but last nights sleep, or lack there of, was completely heinous. Hub was away at his 'union' thing in the city so I had no reprive and had to deal to all three of them. They must have sensed something as they all work up during the night, something that for the past half year or so hasn't happened that much with Shou and Marina.

Marina is a mover and kept headbutting the end of her bed. She stayed mainly asleep though and I just put a blanket over the headboard and kept moving her back onto the pillow and putting her empty bottle in her hand - which she seems to need more as a security thing than anything else.

Shou woke up at half four and I had to crawl into bed with him until Ryu got vocal again at half five. Shou's bed is so cosy though cause he snuggles so well and has those fluffy blankets under and on top of him. And my bed was pretty cold as hub wasn't in it to act as human hot water bottle and I hadn't had the pleasure of spending enough time in it for the many hours before then.

Thanks for that Ryu. You are so going in the bath in Fukuoka. Besides safest place for you if there is an earthquake or nuclear bomb.

He went down fine, sweet as. Woke up twice in quick succession and then was WIDE AWAKE, come on mummy I'm so cute you really do love me, between 2 and 4. At half four I started to lose it and put him back in his cot in the alter room, turned the light on low and bashed the shit out of the mobile so it would keep moving and keep him distracted while I made a hasty exit - at which time Shou woke up so my hasty retreat was straight up to his room.

Half five and Ryu gets vocal. He is sooooooo tired though but nothing works so I belt him into his bouncer and stick him in front of baby einstein and crawl back into my own bed for an hour.

Everyone up at half six, breakfast - toast which they both ate and low and behold Shou even ate all his crusts. Why? Because 'okikunattakara mummy' (I'm a big boy now mummy) There wasn't too much resistence getting them changed and ready for kindy and we rocked up there at 8am. Home to do a load of washing, quick vaccuum and then sleeeeeeeep. Took me forty minutes to drift off and Ryu was awake half an hour after that so not such a good effort. Tried to get Granny K to look after him for an hour so I could get back into a fetal position under the futon but no luck - she was off to pick brocolli or something.

Didn't do much all day. Went to the supermarket and the town office to drop some money off to lady who paid hub's bit for the funeral of some office worker's mother. Did that make sense? The standard fee to give is 3000 yen - if is the family of someone you work with who has died. If is someone you know directly then 5000 seems to be the thing.

Did a bit of English class admin this arvo, followed by another 40 minute power nap, no go on the exercycle, dinner making and wood chopping -but not with the new toy. Hub is going to test run it on Saturday when he is HOME ALONE (iiii na) and if it isn't too dangerous and looks three year old friendly then him and Shou will give the wood pile a going over on Sunday, while I am buying up a storm at Costcos in Fukuoka - possibly hungover and possibly having left my baby in the bathtub at hotel due to crazed lack of sleep and half drunk haze.

I am a responsible parent.

No. Really I am.

So that was our extremely boring day. The kids ate their rice lasagne thingy followed by a banana Hersheys choccy shake, yoghurt and mikan. Bath went well, didn't have to scream the house down for Granny K. Marina to bed at 7 as usual. Shou had been going on about how he was going to go to sleep on his own tonight. Right, thought would take that and roll with it.

As if.

'mama to neran to samishii yo' (I don't like sleeping on my own / get sad (lonely) if I don't sleep with mummy) I tried though and I will battle on with this. In the end I put him to bed with teddy and gave them both a talking to about how if they could sleep a whole week without mummy or daddy then there would be huge rewards in form of blue police car thingy that attaches in some way that only three year olds understand to the tommycar fire rescue thing Shou got for Christmas.

Teddy was very compliant and Shou too - to begin with. I had to go up three times and on the third time he said he wanted me to get into bed with him.
No go buddy.
I said fine I would but didn't he want the police car thingy.
Three year old deep in thought.
I want the car mummy.
Well then why doesn't mummy just kneel here for a few minutes.

Out like a light in two minutes.

Have just had word to hub (who arrived home mid all this) and we have agreed to not get into bed with him anymore. Fingers crossed. Shou sleeping on his own means bunk beds a possibility, means Marina can sleep in with Shou, means Ryu can move upstairs, means we have an extra room for the next one...

OK, so that last bit was way fuckin over the top. Imagine if there was a forth rugrat? I know families do it - the four plus kid thing but pleeeeeeeeeeease. Gaijin wife on less sleep than this would be just dangerous... Would you like some TNT with that?

Although a week in the clinic with a newborn in the nurses station - that equals sleep. Albeit sleep with saggy sore saloon doors and the post birth hormonal shakes.

Sweet Dreams, Good Health and Quiet Living to you all.

Monday, 25 January 2010

10 yen Jelly Spaz

Just put Ryu down for the second time this evening. Not unusual. He went down at half six. If he has a shit night tonight I will bring him upstairs to sleep with me - help me keep the bed warm seeing as hub is away.

Has been a very uneventful day - bar the complete spaz Shou packed over a ten yen jelly thing. They got one each in the car on the way home from kindy - with the promise of another one if, and only if, they ate all their dinner and had a bath. Got back from the kindy run, sorted out dinner and then made the radical decision that there would be no baths. I wanted to put Ryu in though so I asked Granny K if it was OK. She was in here anyway and I just stupidly presumed that she would stay in here for the ten minutes while I was putting Ryu in the bath and Marina and Shou were finishing their dinner.

Two minutes later Ryu and I are in the bath when I hear Granny K say 'right, I'm off to have my dinner', walks to her room and closes the door. Cue Shou and Marina to abandon their dinner and start jumping on the couch - instigated by Marina. I have left all the doors open and can glimps the corner of the couch. That aside I am the mother and I 'know' what they are doing. I say in a loud voice that there will be no jelly if I get out of the bath and find them on the couch and their dinner not finished. No response. I say in semi soft voice that perhaps I will eat the jelly's myself - Noooooooooooooooooo mummy.

Get out of the bath to find Little Miss Mayhem and only a bit bigger Master Spawn of the Devil attacking the couch, pillows and pile of washing with vigor. The jellies promptly get put on top of the cupboard and Shou starts his supreme nutout. Considering the amount of energy that half hour of nutting out must have taken out of him I was surprised it still took forty minutes to get him to sleep.

Granny K came in mid-nutout and looked surprised that Ryu and I were out of the bath already. We have a kind of routine whereby I will put the kids in the bath and then scream for her to come get Ryu out and dry him. I have been known to do it all myself but is easier if I can pass the wriggly baby off to someone else and then sort Marina and Shou out - especially as I get in with them. So tonight I loudly appeal for 'baaaaaaaaaaachaaaaaaaaaaaaan - and when that didn't work the nicer okaaaaaaaaaaaasaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan' Deaf ears I tell ya.

During Shou's nutout Marina is very quiet and surprisingly obedient. Only had to ask five times to get her to come and get into her PJs and brush her teeth. She even gave me a cuddle for no reason - perhaps her way of saying sorry for being a part of the previous chaos. Shou finally cottoned on that mummy wasn't giving in this time. He went to bed with me promising that I wouldn't scoff the jellies on my own and that they would infact still be there tomorrow.

In other news - the wood splitter arrived this afternoon. I was tempted to open it and give it a whirl but figure hub will get more enjoyment out of that so have left it out in the driveway for anyone to come and steal away. Good luck with that though. Is heavy bastard. Delievery man just about fell over. I did offer to help him but was at the same time talking to Illahee about girls weekend in Fukuoka - which of course tops my list of fun and exciting things to do at the moment vs the wood splitter.

I also rang the hotel for Saturday night - just to check that the confirmation email I got last week wasn't spam :) Things have been tripple confirmed. Carparks fine Illahee - as no doubt will forget to email you! Gomen. Baby accessory also fine. I refrained from telling them I planned on leaving him with the lady on reception over night so I could sleep - surely if I just leave him behind the desk with a note they will sort it! And if not I figure a few big blankets in the bath will be fine??

Went to the petrol station to see if they can tell me what whirrring noise is in car-hub thinks is turning belt? I have no idea. Has been going for a while and I tried to ask a week or so back but the niiiiichan (bloke) who knows a bit or two about cars wan't there - ditto this arvo. His grandfather took ill suddenly and he had to take him to the hospital, just in case you all wanted to know. Gotta love inaka (rural) life sometimes. Too much information. The worst thing is is that it is catching - this relaying of random irrelevant information.

Right, time to enjoy the bed all to myself - and maybe Ryu from when he wakes up next.

Good week to you all


Sunday, 24 January 2010


Hub is sitting beside me filling out the kindy application forms for Shou and Marina. Just writing why none of the adults of the household can look after them. In Kunimi, and I think a lot of Japanese towns, you can not put your kids in kindy unless you are unable to look after them - and that includes grandparents.

Actually he is only filling in one and then I have to fill in the other. Pain in ass as is a lot easier and faster for him. Maybe if I get him a shochu he'll fill the other one out too! Have to go the town office tomorrow to get his annual earnings payout slip and also to the 'official inakan signer' lady in our neighborhood - so she can verify the paper I have to fill in saying I work from home. You are meant to have verification from your place of employment. In past years I have gotten this from the university I translate for - I wouldn't get it by Wednesday though which is when application has to be in by.

Me and the boys went to the city this morning. Marina stayed behind with Granny K. Did a wee bit of shopping - got a coffee, although was contemplating one of the...
Has anyone had one before? Tastey?

Hub took Shou to the game center where they wasted an hour and a half, and quite a bit of cash trying to win this...
The blue thing, not the child. It is a でかニャン or big ass cat. Marina was quite impressed, especially when she realised was quite fun jumping on it like a mini trampoline. Surprisingly that game didn't end in tears.

Hub took the kids to the park while Ryu napped and I faffed round - followed shortly after by drinking coffee with Jo and family who arrived during their temple tour of the Kunisaki Peninsula (??) Not that our house resembles a temple.

Was a nice visit despite the lack of warning and therefore underwear and all assortments hanging up to dry infront of the fire and loads of washing waiting to be folded on the couch - where it still is. I finally managed to offload the fejoa and manuka honey flavored vodka that has been taking up space in our three bottle wine rack. It went into the welcome hands of Jo's maybe future brother in law?? I think I might need to buy some wine now.

Visitors left, kids got back from the park, Ryu woke up and once again peace and order were forgotten in the gaijinwife household. A few tanties over dinner time mainly due to Marina not having had a nap and being overly tired. She was out like a light at half six, followed shortly after by Shou and Ryu.

I got a call from my host father last night - where I stayed during my high school exchange in Kagawa 15 years ago. (SHIT) He had a heart valve thingy operation last year and it went well but there is a place where they can't put in a valve or whatever and it could clott and he could drop dead anytime - according to him. He didn't by anyway guilt me into it, but hub and I have decided to do the family holiday (mayhem travelling with chaos and disorder that would be) in May perhaps. Fight the millions during Golden Week.

This will mean however that budgets will force me to delete the Hokkaido wedding trip off my schedule. Bugger shit wank, but what can you do? Younger brother's best friends wedding vs perhaps possibly thinks he's dieing 68 year old host father - who has been extremely good to me over the years.

We were also talking about trips back to NZ and how it would make sense to go back once before Ryu turns two and costs shitloads more. We can't afford for all five of us to go back before then though.

Sooooooo.... the current thought is that Ryu and I will go home in October or November - between the sports day and the town festival - which both Marina and Shou will be in. Christmas would be nice but it is a lot more expensive, hub is busy with end of year shit, and I don't wont to miss Christmas with Shou and Marina now that they know what its all about - well the Santa and prezzie bit anyway. Not quite informed on the three wise men and shooting baby Jesus out the saloon doors into a manger bit yet.

Anyhooo, enough to think about anyway. European Stylist wont be making it over this year like we thought which sucks but hopefully we will have other lights at the end of the tunnel to help us get through.

Right, Tomb Raider II is on and I need to do some random boob flashing to keep hub's attention from being sucked into the TV screen by Angelina Jolie.

Refuse to lose out to big lipped wannabe orphanage - god almighty she's pretty sexy though.


Saturday, 23 January 2010

Unkempt Kiddies

My three unkempt children...
I reckon we're still a good few years away from getting a pic with all eyes open! Daddy and Ryu... with Ryu looking like he's just stuck his fingers in a socket. And no, there is hardly any hair on either side of the mo.
And some more eyelids.. strike a pose - although not on purpose. She was trying to not let me get a toy I told her she couldn't take to kindy.
Hub spent a couple of hours this morning chopping our logs into 30cm lengths ready for the wood chopper - that I thought might arrive today seeing as only coming from Fukuoka but which fingers crossed gets here tomorrow so 'the boys' have something to keep them occupied for an hour or so!
Our inbred twat electrician turned up to fiddle with the sockets - something to do with the change over to digital TV. He was faffing on about amps and voltage and circuits and shite - while at the same time laughing about how he put his foot through the ceiling at his last job. Awesome. Glad we've got you doing the wiring in our house.
Hub and I headed out for lunch and off to the shops - which got abandoned when we decided to come back and sleep the afternoon away instead. Well, an hour of it at least. Ryu even obliged which was nice. Other than that a very boring day and nothing much to tell you about.

Friday, 22 January 2010

Got me some of my own pumping hearts now baby!

Thankyou for all the comments yesterday. Good to know a lot of other people have same-ish inklings of fuckedoffishness at their men. Appologies however for being a bit of a freeky psycho bitch over an email. I'm good like that. Which is why nearly 400 people decided to pop by yesterday. Amazing really. Human drama - brings out the best/worst in us :)

Soooo, anyhooooo, after the morning dramas I was feeling a bit guilty - or at least definately better after blogging. I mailed hub and asked if he wanted me to order the wood cutter thingy. I had rung Handsmen (the handy store) and asked how much their one was - in comparison to the one on the internet Rakuten store. He emailed back with.

"The one on Rakuten is fine (smiling moving face mark). Is it really OK to work late tonight (moving question mark)? If it's OK then I will. (Normal fullstop) I won't (envelope mark) the skinny slapper anymore. (Normal fullstop) See ya later (pumping heartmark x 2, three hearts twinkling x 2, smaller to bigger heart x 1, sparkly "スキ")

He has been forgiven and for his efforts I ordered the extra part for the wood cutter that means you can cut the log not just in half but .... wait for it.... in four. What a gadget. For the man who has everything. It cost more for sure but he wont end up paying for any of it. I have been guilted into paying for the thing outright. Not that he knows this yes. I'll tell him when his cash is low and he's looking a bit worried that he can't cover it with his cut - after his drinking thing tonight and an overnight business trip/on the lash thing on Monday - both 'workers union' things. Things that he has to pay for up front but which most of which will come back later.

Oh, has just rung and is on way home. The thing tonight was a drinking thing but I suggested that, after he wondered how he would get home, perhaps he go and not drink. Oh my god. What a revalation. Not to drink. He is dropping another guy off - who suggested they go past the okonomiyaki place. Wouldn't surprise me if it was closed already but. Hub asked if I wanted him to bring me a nama (cold, in the glass) home from the place - I said what the hell. Good luck to you man.

Ooohhhh (rub's hands in glee), we might be up for some loving tonight.

Christ, so where was I. Right, the wood cutter. Hopefully it arrives tomorrow and then him and Shou can spend Sunday happily chain-sawing the logs into 30cm lengths and then splitting the fuck out of them. This means that hub won't have to spend all day tomorrow chopping wood with the axe.

Soooooo, am thinking perhaps tomorrow we can go on a date plus one. The plus one being Ryu of course. That or we can sleep lots. Well hub can. Sigh. Will someone please come and give my baby some of that sleeping faffing DNA cause he aint got none.

Happy weekend to you all.


Thursday, 21 January 2010

Just Curious...

Does your significant other have someone of the opposite sex (or same sex if you're that way inclined) that he/she emails on a regular basis? Someone younger or in and around the same age?

Hub has 'Takagi-san' - who he used to go to school with back in the day. She is married with a daughter or two and now lives in the next town over. She is the 'bloody big fat pumping hearts' woman. Fair enough that wasn't actually sent on purpose by her - thanks docomo. They email from time to time. From what I can gather a few times a week or a bit more. Hub deletes his email and phone history - I would too if I was married to someone like me :)

Yesterday he left his phone at home. He rang up and asked if I was coming over his way and if so could I drop it off. I wasn't planning on going in that direction so the phone stayed at home. He rang at lunch and got me to check his phone. He knew he had an email from her and wanted to know if there was anything else. I said no and he made a big show and dance about saying I could open the mail from her. So I did and it was innocently about how she was supposed to be doing all this work but was sitting there eating all the snacks instead.

Anyhoo, this morning I noticed in between trying to put four socks on four very unwilling feet that hub had retreated upstairs with his phone. I creep upstairs (I know, I know. Don't even start) and into our room where hub quickly shuts his phone and pretends to do a big stretch. The old 'I'm not doing anything wrong / big stretch trick' aye!

I asked him how Takagi-san was and he immediately looked soooooo sheepish - like a 14 year old boy being caught out with a pile of girlie mags under his mattress. He showed me the mail and it was innocently about how work sucks doesn't it, and itsn't it getting nice and warm lately. There were appropriate moving pictures inserted.

We all need friends. I have guy friends that I email occassionaly. Probably not any that I email every couple of days and none that I would look so sheepish about if hub caught me emailing them. 'Caught' isn't a very good word really as he wasn't technically doing anything wrong. But just the way he reacted really got to me and turned me into an instant grumpy bitch.

He got all stroppy - it's nothing it's nothing, he was just being polite returning her text. I said I was fucked off cause
a. he spends more time sending her nice texts with moving pictures than he does me.
b. I am downstairs sorting the kids out while he is upstairs fluffing around with pictures of cherry blossoms and faces with a moving smiling mouth.
c. he purposefully went upstairs with his phone to do it - he said so that I wouldn't get annoyed. If he knew I was going to get pissed off why couldn't he friggin well wait till he was out in the car on his way to work.
d. and the biggy - he just acted so guilty and 'caught out'

Transformed bitchy wife overracting and feeling like big fat stupid heffer, especially after was so nice yesterday with the extra pocket money AND a late night international relations meeting - insitgated by and for hub. And here he is emailing a skinny slapper about the weather and wondering why he didn't pass her on the way to work yesterday. Was everything OK?

Not exactly secret squirrel emails about which love hotel to meet at but still. Feel well better for ranting about it though. Thanks.

Still bitchy when hub was leaving I said that if he wanted me to order the wood cutter thing could he take 30,000 out of his cut and give it back. He muttered something under his breath and slamed the door on his way out. So I guess he doesn't want it then.

A pity the day had this glip after I awoke feeling so refreshed. Had a lovely long soak in the tub last night with candles and smellies. Need to do that more often. I heard Ryu wake up and then hub go in and get him and NOT come and tell me - good man. Let me soak in peace. Got up and fed Ryu 200ml of formula and then hub and I retreated upstairs.

Hub suggested a meeting perhaps? maybe? Rightio then. Let's get on with it. Unromantic as it sounds actually was good meeting and I went to sleep with cuddles and feeling very sleepy and like was about to embark on sleep of all sleeps.

And that it was. FOUR WHOLE HOURS. God bless the boy.

Boob at 2:30am and then another THREE WHOLE HOURS. God bless the boy again.

I woke up a completely different person to the person I was yesterday morning, the day before that and every other day before that for long time. Pity I had to be an untrusting and sneaky wife over the email thing as really has left ME feeling pissed off and no doubt hub isn't giving it another thought.

Right, Ryu has woken from his nap. Time for some play time. He has a jab today, poor thing.


Wednesday, 20 January 2010

Year of the Tiger

This year is the year of the tiger. Grrrrrr. Better late than never...
I took TEN and she had her eyes closed in all of them. But oh what nice lashes, nostrils and lips she has!

And a pic of the youngest - who is now sitting in a highchair for feeds. He has red winter dry cheeks, not that you can tell that much with the flash reflecting off his cheeks and big head. That thing poking it's nose (or tail) out from the front is a platapus (? hasn't that got a 'y' in it?) from friend's mum in OZ - I think.

Not much sleep to be had last night but hub did the breakfast thing so I got to sleep till 7am. Felt almost refreshed for having three hours in a row! Ryu was alseep all that time too - obviously, as he was no doubt knackered as well. He gets more sleep than me but, just takes me fricken ages to get back to sleep after I get up.

Went to try and find some textbooks for English but the bookstore I went to was crap and ended up popping by friend's house for a pit stop with Ryu before coming back home. Did bypass the bank though and my translation cash has gone in - yay. Got out hub's cut and 10,000 yen for Granny K as remembered thinking would give her a bit of pocket money for doing extra Ryu duties those two weeks and putting up with me being (more of) a grumpy tart. She was quick in taking the envelope :)

Had a phonecall with my brother this morning - he is going to send me over some baby Farrex, which is almost a staple in what you give your baby the first year in New Zealand. Is made from rice I think and you mix it with milk or baby yoghurt or banana and milk etc. Very good me thinks and fills them up - me thinks. Fills them up enough to make them zonk for a good few hours - me hopes.

He filled me in on news at home, seeing as my new 'must cut down the international phone bill' regime has meant I haven't spoken to my mum for two weeks. This is a LONG time for me. Obviously my not ringing home hasn't prompted my mother to actually pick up the phone herself. I'm not angry - I just feel a little bit like I'm being shoved to the bottom of the pile. My other 'unbloggables' sister is getting a lot of attention - as I guess you would expect but it doesn't take long to pick up the phone and ring me, especially as she already has a fricken calling card for just that purpose.

She doesn't even read this blog because I talk about shagging and other stuff that mothers don't wont to hear about. Fair enough. The blog didn't start out like that but seeing as my mum has never really read it from the start I figured I could post about that kind of stuff.

Anyhoo, enough of feeling sorry for self for living too far away and being 'forgotton' by own family. Love them really. Bring on Skype in April.

Hub just walked in the door - opened his 'cut' envelope and said thankyou, followed in quick succession by "I thought I was getting 20%?"I said that after tax 50,000 yen was about 19% so that would have to do. Faaaaaahuuuuuck. When have I ever taken that much from his pay for no reason other than to spend on whatever I want? Which in his case is the woodcutter thing so not completely selfish at all but still. That wasn't a clause, he is allowed to use it for whatever he wants - bar of course shoving down the tops of girls twirling round poles. Fuck, if he want's to do that I'll put a pole up in the lounge and he can shove money down my top. God help the pole should I actually be able to lift my entire body off the ground but.

Anyway, I wish I could go to bed and fall straight to sleep. Sadly it will take another couple of hours to wind down. Ryu is back in the alter room from today though as we are over the cold hump and don't need the heater aircon thing on anymore. Perhaps in the alter room Grandpa can keep an eye on him and pat him back to sleep for me.

Pretty please.


Tuesday, 19 January 2010

19 Year Anniversary Parteeee

Last night was a complete and utter shocker. Sleepwise that was. It was land of the living dead in our house this morning - for me at least. I absolutely HATE the way I get on no sleep. I'm not a nice wife. I'm not a nice mummy. I'm not a nice person. It is very hard to control. I don't go round abusing my family (well not much) but I am quite free and easy with the 'for the love of god Ryu, would you not give me some fuckin peace and quiet boy' - aimed of course at my very adorable seven month old. Please tell me I'm not the only one that gets like this?

On a recent (for our TV anyway) episode of 'Private Practice' a mother came in to the 'wellness' clinic with her little baby. She was fuzzed out on no sleep and admitted to holding her child under the water when she was giving her a bath. She was diagnosed with post partum crazy shit but I could relate. I would never act out anything but thats not to say thoughts haven't crossed my mind... more along the lines of me taking all my blankets out to the car so I can just escape and sleep - sleep... it's one of those things you take for granted when you can do it at your leisure every night. I never realised lack of sleep could be so life changing.

But enough about sleep - plenty more of that not to be had tonight me thinks.

Last night I suggested my new Fukuoka and haven for pregnant women and mothers of small babies plan. A.O.K. TO his credit he did say he would be fine for one night with all three of them - and then we hit last night, and this morning he said he reckoned my two nights breaking it up was better. So that's that. All decided.

Also last night he asked if we could get a wood splitter - obviously after seeing the builder's one on Sunday. I said abso-fuckin-lutely darling. If those there trees out the back start growing some of that there fine money. Turns out he wants to spend his cut of my translation money (that comes in tomorrow - wahoo) on it instead of new tyres or a two day pachinko binge. Great idea. Means he wont get a sore back from cutting wood and when he is using his new toy Shou will be his right hand button pushing man.

When we were making plans for the house I had to fight quite hard to get the fire. I promised to do everything - cart and cut all the wood etc. Turns out that have been up the duff or with a small baby on my hip ever since the thing got put in and therefore most of the wood duties have been left to hub. Also turns out him and Granny K brag about the fire to whoever has the bad fortune of coming over in winter - or good fortune rather, as is toasty warm. A bit like the lawn. Had to fight for that even though I was financing it. Don't worry love, I'll cut the grass and pull the weeds. And I would have too - had hub not beat me to it everytime :)

So anyway, enough of fires and grass.

This morning passed in a haze. I tried to get some sleep with Ryu but it wasn't working and he ended up only sleeping for forty minutes and me - just about to nod off when he wakes up, which was at the same time that Granny K's little sister (or cousin?? same father - Granny K's auntie is little sister's mother) came over. Still not even 9am by this stage. Was coincidence that they turn up today - the 19th anniversary of Granny K's husband's death - or rather Grandpa ?. God, for the life of me I can't remember what his name is. Ryu, despite very little sleep, was in top form and smiling away for the guests, fooling them that he is the perfect baby.

They left and I tried for some more zzzzzs but not happening part II. I ask Granny K if there is anything special that we should be eating today because of 19 year anniversary. Apparantely not but they did always used to eat sushi. OK. No worries. Thought very briefly about driving over to pick some up at the sushi shop an hour away but squashed that idea when realised was too knackered and would probably drive the family wagon straight into the ocean - and in my state of mind perhaps I would have thought that an easy way out. Would get me some sleep at least!!

Went to local supermarket instead and got some fish to cut up into sashimi, some maki sushi, some yakitori and some things to make yummy cheese and nama ham crackers for me. Came home and later this arvo arranged everything onto nice platter. Put some rice on, put the brewskies in the fridge and wala - instant party for Grandpa.

Shou thought it was a party - albeit one that required everyone to go in a kneel and pray at the alter. Shou of course pulled out his 'please look over us and protect us from traffic accidents and illness' line, which I was sure he had got from Granny K, but which turns out the teachers at kindy told him. It was in Japanese of course

'koutsu jikko awanai youni, byouki ni naranai youni, mimamotte kudasai'

Marina just tried to clamber up to touch the candles and knock over the incencse.

Grandpa was probably just thinking what a load of unrulely grandchildren he had - and could someone please put a glass of sake up on the alter too. Which hub did.

At the 'party' Shou wolfed back about as much sashimi as hub. Marina went straight for the apple, chicken nuggets and yakitori and Ryu went straight for some party boob. They are all in slumber as I type. Including hub me thinks. Might go wake him up though and get him out of Shou's bed. I was in a foul mood when he left for work this morning, and it was all go the minute he walked in the door tonight so I need some 'hub and me' time.


Monday, 18 January 2010

Skirts, Shirts and Cinnamon Rolls

Waiting for hub to come home. Today marks the start of yet another week where hub will be late everynight except Thursday - because I teach. Although I am thinking that he should work then too as me handling it on my own would probably be easier than having to put up with last week's ordeal again. We'll see.

The weekend has left me with the distinct feeling that hub alone for 48 hours with the three sproglets will not benefit anyone - including myself. There is of course the off chance that they would all be perfect little angels. In reality however I think a whole day looking after Ryu, followed by an evening of all three of them, followed by a night of waking up possibly three times for Ryu, followed by a day of all three of them... and not a happy daddy, three year old, two year old or baby to be seen me thinks. Work timetables for the next few months mean he can't take time off to 'recover' - something I can do if I fancy any afternoon of the week.

Therefore, contrary to many a comment suggesting I leave Ryu behind , I have made the executive decision to take the little one with me on my adventures to Fukuoka. My taking him will be less of a hassle for me than it would be a hassle for hub to have him. This does of course sound very ridiculous I know. I haven't told hub yet.

There is of course a catch.

Dearest hub - I will take Ryu with me to Fukuoka on the condition that I get a baby-free sleep till the morning night soon - February perhaps. This will happen closer to home so I can leave after the evening mayhem and return after breakfast the next day. I am thinking ahh, lets see, a certain haven for pregnant women and mothers of small children....

You get the corkscrew and glasses ready and I'll get the rest.

I think this is a good compromise. Breaks my treats away up into two. Doesn't mean I get the total girls weekend like I thought maybe I would be it means I still get the good times, wine and banter and a spot of shopping in Fukuoka - with not a solid sleep, followed a few weeks later by some more good times, wine and banter and solid sleep a lot closer to home and therefore mummy is taken out of the equation for only a short time.

I checked this plan out with the owner of the haven for pregnant women and mothers of small children today. I popped over for lunch and ended up with skirts, shirts and cinnamon rolls. Marina now has hand-me downs enough to see her through the first three years of primary school!! Not quite sure there wont be some mummy telling off round there tonight when daughter realises mum has gone through all her stuff and passed half of it on. Hope there's no tears in a few years when Marina turns up dressed in her favorite pink satin party dress!!

Before heading out today I did the cleaning and of course 20km on the bike. Luckily a friend rang and I got to chat the whole way through it which made the forty minutes go a lot faster! I don't think the weight has started to vacate the premises yet but I am feeling a lot better for it so will soldier on with this new exercise regime.

Right, was going to do an FBC order but have remembered will be visiting Coscos in a couple of weeks so will hold out till then. Am very excited about being let lose in huge foreign foods supermarket. Almost the highlight of my year. Bar of course the good times, wine and banter with the girls plus one the night before!


PS - will so probably change my mind another ten times on the taking Ryu to Fukuoka thing. Such is a hormonal woman's prerogative.

Sunday, 17 January 2010

Sunday bloody Sunday.

Ohh, 'Changeling' is just about to start on BS so need to type very very fastling.

This mornig I just about self destructed - due to combination of sleep deprivation, period bitchiness, breast feeding hormons and general it's a bloody Sunday and the kids are playing up and I have to get the house in respectable order for visit by sister and brother in law grumpy tartyness. Beware thy man, woman, child or beast that crosseth my path.

Hub and Shou went off to clean the family grave - hub with the weedeater and Shou was on grave polishing duties. I spent the one and a half hours they were away cleaning and the likes - Marina was running riot in Granny K's room and Ryu was sleeping like an angel. Got loads done and the house looked quite un-Sunday like.

The plan was to drive the hour it takes to get the Shinkenja and Kitty-chan happy-meals from McDonalds. But mummy cracked a gasket and it was called off. Why? Hub and Shou arrived home just as I was about to jump in the shower. Shou was rabbitting on about some super bloody wood cutter saw that he had seen up the road at the builder's - not the crap inbred one that built our house. No. The gaijin boob loving one who has a collection of Russian porn Dvds that he keeps trying to lend to hub. He brought round a pile one time and hub and I actually watched one. I would have been keen to try another one but hub wasn't and I wasn't too keen on sitting up late at night watching Helena getting it on with Labigdongapinsky all on my own.

I digress (you don't say). Shou was nutting out cause I wouldn't go to the store right this instant and buy him a wood cutter. Ryu started to cry and I am standing in the genkan in a towel. I ask hub if I can jump in the shower for three minutes. He says OK.

Ten minutes later I come out dressed - a feat short of a miracle as getting on my super duper slimming knee to underboob pants takes nine and a half minutes - and Ryu is STILL nutting out. I run upstairs to find him blotchy faced and teary eyed. That's it. Mummy is faaahuuucked off. No happy bloody family bloody outing. No way.

Hub retreats to the park to fly the kites with Shou and Marina. I was going to go for a drive with Ryu but find myself driving to the park and watching them. Happy families. Minus mummy and Ryu. So, we get out and wander over. I appologize for massive spazz attack. In his defense hub had been outside the whole time and when I had been standing in the genkan asking if I could have a shower I said oh shit, Ryu has woken up but didn't say can you please go get your son.

Sigh, big bloody sigh. Could they not dress themselves if we didn't put their bloody feet in the undy holes.

Brother and sister and law came over to visit the family grave. They came in for coffee (that I made too strong and no doubt they will be growing chest hairs tonight as they sleep) and a catch up. Stayed for a decent amount of time, played with the kids rah rah. Brought loads of bread with them which is always welcome in this MUST-EAT-SHITLOADS-OF-CARBS household. Was good to see them again.

They left and Shou slowly started his evening meltdown - due to no afternoon nap. Bathed and fed all the kids were asleep by seven. Shou at quarter past six! Hope this doesn't mean they will all be awake at five - but quite possible in this house when one day last week I woke up at 6:50 and everyone else was still asleep and I just about bloody died. How the fuck am I going to get the kids ready in time to get them out the door at seven thirty five. Not that I HAVE to take them to kindy that early mind you. Needless to say they were half an hour later than usual that day. Teachers must have been quite excited thinking the Aramaki twosome weren't coming!

Right, back to the movie.


Saturday, 16 January 2010

Just Googeous Darling

Am watching one of those programs with great/sad/unbelievable takes from around the world. Some of them are just a plea for complete baka-ness (idiots) but others are so funny or just that, 'unbareeeeebaburu'.

Today, after meeting hub for lunch (who was at work all day), Ryu and I went to the supermarket and amongst out shop was this...
It was half price ice-cream day and this just stood out for some reason. I didn't even notice the name when I brought it, but for those of you who think you might like some coffee flavored almond crunch chocolate goodness then I definitely recommend this. It is just gooooooooogeous darling.

I have been doing the cycle - 10km the first day, 20km yesterday and 10km today. I don't know if it's working yet. Early days. But I definately feel a lot better for the exercise. It was also good to re-discover yesterday that I can do 45 minutes of solid cardio exercise. I figure I just stick to it and surely it's got to shave something off those thunder thighs cause christ god lord and fuck me sideways they were sore as after yesterdays efforts. Not so bad today but.

Granny K informed me today that policeman brother in law is coming over tomorrow - to pray at the family grave for the 19th (I thought was 20th) year anniversary of their father's death. 19 (or 20 for that matter) isn't an 'important' year in the scheme of houjis (anniversary ceremonies). However this year is also the 33rd (not quite sure on this) of hub's grandmothers death and 50th of his sister's death and both of these numbers are important so come April there will be an anniversary ceremony - a joint one I think. 50 years is the last time you hold an official ceremony. I'm not sure how Granny K will be. When we were talking about it the other day we were both a bit teary eyed. Her daughter was the same age as Ryu is now when she died. I guess I just do what ever it is I am expected to do - minus of course the putting up with ten old men smoking in the house. I don't care if it's a houji I'm not putting my foot up about that. Presuming of course you can put your 'foot up' at all.

So, I cleaned the alter room before - vacuumed and dusted. Brother in law will be doing the prayer thing there and the family grave. Hub and Shou are going to clean it in the morning. Cut the grass and wipe down the gravestones. I'm not sure if sister in law is coming too - I would imagine so. I don't feel like the house needs to be in complete order but would be nice to have some clean cups on the table and some coffee in the pot.

Booked the hotel for girls night out in fukuoka. Has nice onesen and double beds in each single room - so yay. I will be able to have a bath and just worry about getting self clean, and sleep starfished in a big bed without having to worry about pushing hub off or getting up in the night - presuming of course Ryu isn't with me. I had an 'I can't leave my baby' moment this afternoon. Bit my tongue though and hub still thinks he has all three of them for 48 hours.

What to do, what to do. Some moments I think taking him would be fine, but then I think about wanting to soak in an onsen or go to an izakeya for dinner and I think so not compatible with baby in toe. Went out in Beppu when European Stylist was here but Ryu was only a few months old then and hardly as demanding as he is now. I think, in my heart of hearts, he would be OK but what if he packs a spaz and my one night for ever is spent rocking him either in a packed izakeya or in my room while the girls are out. Tis silly really. Am going with four other mothers. If you're going to go out with anybody with a baby is best group of companions really. But still.

Arrhhhh, what to do, what to do.

leave him. You know you can do it. Leave him with his daddy and his granny. It won't kill him. They will be fine. Tired and maybe stressed but fine.

I know this.

What is this damn mother instinct to protect our young. Hub is a very good daddy and Granny K is getting a lot of it right now so what am I worried about?

Perhaps I would have been better back in the cave man days when there were now choices. Stay in the cave, feed the young and protect while the men were out spearing buffelo or whatever. God knows the extra padding I have now wouldn't have been questioned back then. I imagine the skinny chicks got looked over when the men were picking their mates. Built for comfort not for speed my love.

Happy Saturday night to you all.


Friday, 15 January 2010

Nearly Gutted

Just had fifteen heart palpertations and the need to drink three cups of strong coffee and perhaps hit the vodka. OK, so not quite that bad but shit for a minute there I thought I had lost 1700 photos off the digital camera. I would say over half are saved on the computer but still, a good few hundred from the last month or so would have been lost - and that would have included of course the three actual photos worth keeping. I'm a bit crap at taking photos so tend to have to take ten photos for every one that I end up wanting to keep.

Anyhoo, technologically savy woman that I am, I realise after five minutes of fiddling with the bastard that the memory card wasn't in properly.

The photo I wanted to post was of course the snowman...
Obviously not going to be called up to take part in the Sapporo ice festival but hey, I had fun rolling it round the garden. Has very attractive forehead moulded to his hat but had to get crafty to keep the bucket on. The kids were highly excitied - as were my Wednesday arvo and Thursday arvo English students. It was starting to look decidedly worse for wears last night so after kindy I let Shou and Marina decapitate it. Very barbaric but if a bit of snow can keep them entertained for the whole time I'm getting dinner ready then so be it I say.

Yesterday morning was a lot scarier to drive to kindy and hub, who left earlier than usual anyway, was late to work - as I imagine half his office were. Since yesterday afternoon I have been hearing loud dumps of snow fall off the roof. Gave me a fricken heart attack in the middle of the night and first thing this morning, until I figured out what it was - and could rest easy that we weren't getting burgled by a crap burgler who had fallen off the roof.

Last night was a bit of a write-off. I could see the way it was going to unwind and I tried to avoid it but hub wasn't with the program. Marina was fine and Shou and Ryu would have been but Shou didn't start the bed process soon enough and got up. Two seconds later Ryu, who doesn't sleep too well in our bed anymore, woke up too. Hub dealt with Ryu and left Shou to run around while I was teaching my Junior High School kids. They didn't mind too much and to be honest they heard a lot more English that usual. We still managed to get through almost everything but is hard with a three year old on your lap.

Hub was stressed after looking after a grizzly Ryu for forty minutes but within five minutes of English finishing I had put Ryu back to bed and was up getting Shou to sleep. I was so close to saying to hub that I would take Ryu to Fukuoka with me as obviously it was going to be more of a mission for him than I thought but I didn't. Figure I have two more weeks before I need to decide that. Also, Thursday's aren't normal days so a Saturday night should be OK. Surely.

On the Ryu front, Granny K has been the 'booby police' lately. I mentioned randomly that I might stop breast feeding soon and she has been on my case ever since. She couldn't/didn't breastfeed for long and thinks that is the reason why her daughter died at seven months. She has 'requested' I keep breastfeeding at least until Spring, which I will do to keep the peace. Going to cut the nights out though and go to the bottle. I get lazy and whip out some boob but I need some more beauty sleep or the authorities in Fukuoka will send me straight back to my piece of inaka.

Speaking of beauty. Remember the Bare Minerals stuff I ordered a while back - and a second pack came and I had to pay for it because I didn't read the small print - well, does anybody want it? The only bit I really use is the concelor so I will take that out but if anybody wants the new foundation and blush/face powder and free pouch thing then it is yours. It will just get old sitting in the cupboard so it is free to a good home. It is 'light'. I have olive skin and it is a fine color on me. It would look a bit too tanned on someone very white.

Right, best head off to go buy these damn chicken nuggets. Hub is home late tonight so I asked Shou what he wanted as a special Friday night dinner - he wants nuggets. Can't get them in Kunimi so me and Ryu are going to go for a wee drive. Chicken nuggets, rice, misoshiru (with shitake mushrooms), some takuwan (pickled raddish) and some fruitesalad and cream. That is tonight's menu - oh, and some chikuwan if I can decide what to do with it. Fried with soya sauce would be fine am sure. Is funny the different things kids like at different stages.

After our shopping outing I will come back, finish the house stuff and then cycle some flummy off. It arrived on Wednesday just before class. I set it up yesterday and had bastard and all other obscenities difficulty putting on the peddles but finally sorted it and went for my first cycle to the new me. 280 calories, 21 minutes and 10km. I am thinking 10km and 20km on alternate days with nothing on Sundays and perhaps Saturdays.

Lets see how long this lasts aye.


PS - sending bare minerals stuff within Japan only. Thanks.

Wednesday, 13 January 2010


In New Zealand we use the word 'stud' to mean a bloke who is a bit of 'sex on toast', quite a dish, well fit, want me some of that man. So I guess studless could mean that I, or Kunimi, is without stud/s. Would be fairly true statement. Not many sexy men roaming the streets of this fair town.

Today though, as I look out the window at a white winter wonderland studless refers to the tyres on my car. Snow tyres. I naively thought studless tyres was a universal term but turns out, after texting my mum and her replying that she had no idea what they were, is perhaps some crap Japlish? We have had them on both the cars since December and today is the ONE day we will be glad he have them. Don't get many big dumps of snow down here but today really is quite picturesque.
Shou and Marina treking to kindy - Marina refusing to wear a hat. Perhaps she thought it would give her even more of a mullet.
Gaijinwife house in the snow. Love it love it - although driving the kids to kindy was a bit scary as I really have only ever drivin in this much snow a handful of times and once was coming back from university worked at - on top of big hill in Beppu - we got sent home early and was going very slow downhill with my break peddle flat to the floor - as you do when you have no snow driving experience - and proceeded to skid into the guard rail on the side of road.

Luckily a grad student (bit of a stud actually) from Canada was in the car behind us and he got out and offered to drive my car home. He of course was born outside in the snow and no doubt came out the saloon doors in a sled. Still took us two hours to get home but.

However, no amount of snow was going to keep me from getting those kids to kindy. It is still snowing now but not piling up anymore. I think I can almost see the road. English this arvo might get cancelled though depending on whether the mothers want to drive in it - the road out here is worse than the main road AND we have no guard rails to stop you sliding into the river or a paddy. Tis very pretty though!

In kiddy news... What do you think this is...

Is a missile off the transfomer thing hub bought Shou home from his wannabe fireman's drinking trip to Kumamoto. I have been shot with this thing about three hundred times since Monday - all over really but mainly in the boobs. Shou was quite polite about it the first time:

"mama, booby ni missairu hassha shite ii?" (mummy, can I launch a missile at your boobs?)

"um, no darling."

"mama no booby daisuki" (I love your boobs, mummy)


Not really sure how to move forward with this? Guess he is just a chip off the old block. Hub thinks it's a great laugh. Thankfully Marina hasn't taken to following Shou's lead.

Well, time to ring Granny K to see if she needs a lift back from pottery. There was an announcement before saying the bus wasn't running today and knowing her she will ring for a ride just after I have put Ryu to bed.

I am also waiting for a delivery - a cycle so I can cycle my flummy away while watching CSI, Criminal Mind and The Unit.

I heard that laughing - I know, I know. Will just end up under the stairs with the stepper, core rhythms DVD and Billy's Boot Camp. But is only one I can do while doing something I enjoy so maybe it will last a bit longer. At least long enough to cycle off the 5cm of flummy I plan on putting on while in Fukuoka at the end of the month!

Would also like to get outside and make a snowman so the kids get excited when they get home. OK, so that was lies. I want to make it. The only thing else on my afternoon list is English and to make cream stew for dinner so perhaps I will get out there for half an hour or so and give it ago...

Watch this space.


Monday, 11 January 2010


Hub rang at half ten last night to say he was home - well, back at the inn. He didn't need to ring but he was being very cute so brownie points. He also came back with gifts for the kids and choccolate puddings for me - which was in addition to the huge pack of goodies sister in law sent us today. Thank god I didn't make any new years resolutions. When I do they always tend to get thrown out the window, stomped on, run over by a bus, exterminated within about 48 hours and then they just turn into Next Year's Resolutions.

However IF I was to have perhaps made New Years Resolutions they would have probably been:
1. Lose 15 kilos
2. Get Granny K to teach me some Japanesey stuff
3. Get through the first six months of hub being busy without locking the kids under the stairs or slashing my wrists.
4. Be a better mummy
5. Be a better wifey and perhaps become refined in art of blow jobs. Sounds crass (me - who would have thought) but if I was really good at it and didn't have to faff round and it was all over in the blink of an eye cause my tongue could contort the whole way round or something then.... any tips welcome)
6. NOT get pregnant - which might go hand in hand with number 5. as the more of number 5. that gets done then the less chance there is of getting up the duff. Although knowing my luck I'll be the one person ever in history that gets pregnant through oral sex - I'm sure I thought it was possible when I was 15.
7. Study some Japanese.
8. Drink less.
9. Eat less.
10. Wear less (at night - in summer. Would love to be able to fit the little black Victoria Secret lacy number I got years ago. Think I only ever wore it once)

I guess these are more goals and not resolutions. Actually they totally are. I think number 7 is probably the least likely to get done but hey, guess a year will tell.

Anyhoo, that was a tangent. Hub got home just after lunch and stayed up with Shou while Ryu, Marina and I napped. I was out to it and we all lasted two and a half hours. Bliss. In return for not having a nap this arvo Shou was asleep by half six. He was so over knackered. Ryu went down ten minutes later and Marina I think has finally stopped whacking her plastic bottle agains the side of the bed - 8pm.

Found out today that a relative is getting marriend in July - the same day as my little brother's best friend is getting married in Hokkaido and which, presuming I get an invite, I plan on going to. As family representative Hub should be the one attending the relative's wedding. I am taking Ryu with me to Hokkaido so that only leaves Shou and Marina but Granny K refuses to look after both of them for six hours. There will need to be some serious discussion about this. I have been wanting to go to Hokkaido for the wedding since I found out - and especially as little bro might be coming. It is also a month after the end of six months of shit - and hub being home late four nights out of five - the only night he will be able to come home early will be Thursdays, when I teach. So, going to Hokkaido will kind of be like my 'gohoubi' for lasting the next six months without locking the kids under the stairs or slashing my wrists.

Need me some incentive for that little black dress too. I think my superior powers of persuasion can be used to convince hub that he doesn't need to go and can send Granny K in his place. In reality I doubt the family would even notice - in fact probably would be stoked that drink lots hub has been replaced by can't drink more than a tablespoon Granny K.

Well, hub is making noises about heading to bed already. Perhaps I can start number 5. already.

Nighty night.


Sunday, 10 January 2010

home alone

Granny K pissed me off this morning and I was worried that it was a bad omen for the start of my two days with hub away.

Hub got up with the kids at half five and let me sleep for another hour - a. because I hadn't had much sleep the night before and b. cause he knew he was skiving off for a night out and better to be nice to the wife who has to stay home and keep house with three small children.

When I came down the stairs just before seven Shou and Granny K were just heading out the front door so she can go and fill up her kerosene tank for her heater. Not really what I would call an activity fit for a three year old. I loudly appealed from the deck for Shou to stand well back as if he even got near the stuff he would self destruct - not to mention what would happen when I got my hands on Granny K.

When I went in to clean their teeth I found them both with medicinal cough lollies in their mouths - and Shou trying to take Marina's out of her mouth because he wanted two. Marina did a fine job of running away but unfortunately ruin the good times and rain on my parade mummy took the lolly out of her mouth anyway. Granny K came in to ask why Marina was nutting out and I said my piece and that was it.

I didn't condemn the women to darker places like I once would have. I was actually very well restrained - such has the three years between the birth of Shou and now made me.

Hub was out the door for his firemen's thing at half seven and we all mucked about destroying the house until half nine when Shou and I and Ryu piled into the car to go watch hub and the other two hundred wannabe firemen and twenty noddy fire trucks.

It was at a sports ground about twenty minutes away. There were loads of concrete grandstand type seating/steps. Too big to let a three year old go wild running up and down them without wondering when he would face plant it. Said three year old kept running off though and as Ryu was being a hold-on-to-me-or-die baby I had to run after Shou with Ryu on my hip. In front of 200 wannabe firemen. There were other kids running round watching their dads but none as little as Shou.

Three bits of cheese, two crackers and a piece of gum (shoot me) later and I had called it quits. We left and took the car through the car wash and went to the loo - quite an adventure really - and got back in time to see the firemen do the "we know how to use a hose" display. In the scheme of things though I would classify it as a successful outing!

Shou watching - the one brief moment he actually stayed still. He has his big red winter jacket on with (what he calls) his fireman's belt - which is actually off the anpanman swing and slide set in the garden but what he doesn't know...
I strained trying to look for hub but realised later that he was actually in one of the noddy trucks!

Got home and Marina and Ryu went down for a nap for oh, about 45 minutes - which was when the prayer goers from next door did the bang the fuckin gong thing for ten minutes. See ya later naptime. Hub came home very briefly to change and get his shit ready, during which time I asked him why he had to leave at half one when Beppu was only 90 minutes away. He said but it was three hours away - guilty look. I enquire as to actual location of night's festivites. Kumamoto. He found out three days ago. I didn't get angry - I mean don't really care. The location isn't as relevant as fact that he lied. For no reason other than he though I would get shitty. I had already said was OK that he go for Sunday and half of Monday so if it means he is back by lunch time tomorrow than don't really care. They are 'supposedly' leaving Kumamoto at 9am tomorrow morning. Poor hub who has to do all the driving. He reckons they'll all be in bed by midnight.

Tis like me saying I doubt I'll do any shopping in Fukuoka.

Whadda ya reckon.

So, only half the day tomorrow to get through and then I have hub taking the kids out after their nap - Shou and Marina anyway. Speaking of the two of them...

It is really hard to get a pic of Marina looking at the camera - if she is facing in the right direction then she blinks at the ten million flashes that go off and always has her eyes shut in the pic. Otherwise she is concentrating on getting the peace sign just right or running up to take a look at the camera before the thing has even ahd the chance to process - such is the crap camera that I own.

And lastly, another useage for bum wipes...

No, and not just doing that so could post cute baby pic.

But my god, could the boy be any cuter!

Shite - prayer goers party has just broken up and can hear a few pissed vestlings speaking VERY LOUDLY as they make their way to their cars - cue one of the kids waking up. Wonder if Granny K will come in - she is funny after a teaspoon of sake.

Right, time for some tv watching and then starfishing the double bed.


PS - nobody got handcuffed to anything lastnight. Humph.

Saturday, 9 January 2010

High Stakes

Hub took the family wagon to wannabe firemen final practice for the big day, get ready boys, that he had this morning. He came home and noted with surprise that I had cleaned the inside of it - he was about as surprised as I was at finding

  • three umbrellas
  • two pairs of gumboots
  • five hair clips
  • two headbands
  • four books
  • two boxes of squashed tissues
  • two broken window sun visor thingies
  • a collection of toy cars, emergency vehicles and diggers
  • ...

Not to mention the flakes of crackers and random lollies - mostly those really small ones that you get about forty of in a small cola can type packet. Being the fab mummy that I am I dish them out to Marina too, who of course hasn't quite got the eye hand coordination yet to get them all in her mouth. Shou tends to scrounge round for her left overs but even his hands are too big to get into some of the places. Is amazing the sliding doors still slide at all really.

Obviously I don't take much pride in the car I drive. Don't get me wrong, I love having a huge car that fits three car seats, a mother in law, a twat husband (on occassion), a double buggy, AND five thousand tommy cars, BUT I am always getting out of it holding kindy bags or shopping or baby carseats or toddler hands. I do not have the luxury to think about what to clean out of it as well. Give me some credit man, tis lucky some days I make it out with all the shopping and the kids. One day I'll get to bedtime and realise one of them is still in the car!

We headed out for sushi for lunch and to the shops to get random shit like a golf putter, nappies, tonkatsu sauce and some fire starter - they only had four tubes of the fire starter gel we have been using so I stocked up and bought the whole lot. Got a bit of a funny look at the checkout.

Check out lady: (note to self - have just sold four tubes of fire starter to gaijin in pink fleece with bald baby. Doesn't look like a piromaniac but ..)

Ryu has been in a chipper mood the past few days - despite his spots. I think they are getting better but what does a mother know aye. Hub is convinced they are getting worse .

I was extremely restrained this morning. I would usually ring home on a Saturday morning but not today - as images of phone bill swirl in head. That and reminding self that NZ Granny decided to update people on her vegepatch in the Christmas letter - as opposed to the birth of her second grandson. Saaaa, not bitter at all.

On our way over in the car to sushi hub and I had a wee gripe - as I tend to do as a night away for him is looming. I tend to get jealous. Not the mad raving jealous that another woman will steal him away. Not at all. Afterall, when we were first dating I was the only woman trying to steal glances across a crowded room. No, jealous of the going out, away from the house, away from the kids, and getting some SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. Me wants me some of that and so I tend to get a bit bitchy. Oh, isn't it nice for you type shit.

He came back with, but you might be going to Fukuoka for a night away soon. But I have to take a child - to which he said, after an extended pause, that I could go childless.

As in, without any children.

As in, all on my own.

As in, I don't need to pack ten nappies, baby food, formula, bottles and change of clothes - will probably take bum wipes anyway as really they are best invention on face of planet and I use them for everything.

I'm a bit scared though. I can leave the older two. Easy as. Show me the door. Oh flag it, show me the bloody plane. But my little baby... not quite sure if I'm ready to leave him for two days in the hands of hub and Granny K. He will be fine with formula and not boob - my boobs my explode but nothing bit of expressing in the shower wont fix.

Hmmmm, what to do what to do.

Hub is off for his actual firemen's show tomorrow. All the local firemen (bar a handful who have to stay behind in case an actual fire occurs) and their noddy firetrucks, plus the big boy trucks will be there. They have to march and salute and run round like dorks with their hands up by their waist. But there is also some good quality three year old boy entertainment - when they spray different colored water out of the hoses. Shou will love it. Ryu wont be too impressed at being taken out in the cold but will just dress him up in his snow suit.

In the afternoon Granny K is going to take Marina next door to the temple for some serious praying. There is a three day pray-athon that started today. Not sure how Marina will hold up but we will be here so will just go and collect her if I hear her making too much noise!

Right, best be off. Hub and I are up for a game of putter golf - the inside putter green I got him for Christmas - had to wait until now as didn't have a putter. I think there might be some pretty high stakes. I best win or I might find myself handcuffed to the futon - if that's even possible.

Wink wink, nudge nudge.

Nighty night.


Friday, 8 January 2010


Just waiting for Ryu to wake up so we can drive over to hub's work to give him his wallet - twat. Oh well, is a nice day so the drive will be good. Days when I get out of the house are considerably better than days when I stay in and watch back to back episodes of 'Packed to the Rafters' - an Australian drama my friend lent me. Have watched whole first series. Is very good. Not as crude and laugh out loud funny as Outrageous Fortune but still a good and addictive watch. There are quite a few similarities - as you would expect with one being from New Zealand and the other Australia.

I had all good intentions about posting on Tuesday night but hub was being a dickhead. I thought would stay on the international relations meeting roll and invited (I would say lured because it sounds better but honestly 'can I come in too?' when hub was having a bath and his 'oooh, OK' is hardly 'luring') self into bath for a water meeting. Somehow though we got talking about work and I said it would make so much more sense for the city to privately employ me instead of one of the JETS - as in just not get a new one when one of them ends their contract.

Hub was very non-encouraging about the whole thing which put me in a right shit and got all upset that he doesn't think I could do it - which is completely not what he said but it was late, and I was naked and wet and vulnurable and all sorts of girly shit so hey, I looked a little too far between the lines. Needless to say the meeting got cancelled. I think hub was hoping it was maybe just postponed until we got upstairs but such is the way women don't just switch into shag mode the whole thing was cancelled indefinately.

On Wednesday I had to take Shou and Marina for their second oinky flu jab. Shou packed a slight sad and I thought I would just leave him in the car if it came down to it - as can't really force him to do it. Would rather he pack a tanty in the car and not get the jab. Managed to use superb mothering skills to bribe himwith chocolate and shinkenja cards though and in we went. Had Granny K with me to keep eye on baby and other child as other one was getting jab.

After he had decided he was doing it Shou just wanted to get it over with so he could get the goods. When we got in he said hello to the doctor and then 'hayaku shit yo' (hurry up and do it). The doctor said what, and Shou replied 'ittai no o hayaku shite yo ' (hurry up and do the sore thing - in angry voice). Was quite funny and he was so brave. Had a wee cry but was trying so hard to suck it up that my heart swelled with pride.

Marina completely nutted out but was fine twenty seconds latter when she had an anpanman chocolate shoved in her mouth to keep her quiet. Whole expedition went very well considering and that is us all jabbed until next year. Within two months this family has had a total of 12 jabs - four each for Marina and Shou, one each for us big people and one for Ryu - although that was a scheduled vaccination and not a flu shot.

Afternoon English class got cancelled yesterday as school didn't start back until today and half the girls were off ice-skating. They didn't get to do their Christmas party so that is next week's lesson. Had the evening class though.

Not sure if I updated about the new English job I had almost said yes to - meet the man for coffee rah rah. Basically said yes to Friday's teaching and from April Wednesday too. Anyhoo, looked into actual location of kindys and they are ages away and didn't get any affirmative about travel money, and also had niggling bloody niggle that was bad idea going to work for man who from very good friend got warned agaist working for. So, I emailed him and said sorry for pissing him around but had talked to husband and he said .... etc. Got an email back saying he totally understands my position so I don't feel like a complete bitch - Of course it means I need to find other means to pay off my horrific phone bills the last couple of months and if I could fit into my low cut and sexy tops and if Kunimi had a corner that wasn't on the main road then perhaps ...

In baby news - no, not new baby news. Ryu turned 7 months yesterday. He has a few more tricks up his sleeve like...

Being able to name all the different kinds of fire engines in Shou's millionth emergency vehichle book - that he got after his jab, with his own money though so I couldn't really tell him what book to buy. He got one for Marina too which I am sure she was thrilled about as is of elephants and what shape their poo and other animals at the zoo are. He used his book voucher he won for outstanding anpanman coloring innage a month or two back. Ryu can also now...
bow - like any good Japanese baby should be able to at 7 months. Of course if he bows too low he will smack his head on pink plastic toy with dancing rabbits and elephants.

He was in shite mood the other day which I think has something to do with all the spots on his tummy - and today his head. I'm pretty much 100 percent sure it isn't the measles and think probably 'toppatsusei' or whatever they call it. He was in a chipper mood yesterday though and today is OK - still has his appetite though so think will just keep an eye on him and take him to the doctors if it gets any worse. Not keen on going to the doctors when the oinky flu is doing the rounds - especially now as he is old enough to get things.

Had a horrendous night of sleep last night but fortunately hub got up at half five with all three kids and I stayed under the duvet pretending I didn't need to get up and try and help feed and change three crying, tanty screaming kids while it was still dark outside. Arggghhhh, I can't wait till these years are over - afterwhich I am sure I will rave on about how fast time flies and weren't they so cute and lovely.

But for the moment I just need to get through this time without becoming a single mum or an alcoholic. I think I can, I think I can. Hub has to put up with a lot - but then so do I. Like a three day weekend this weekend with hub away every day at wannabe fireman's brigade stuff, including a piss up in the city on Sunday night. I need to clean out the family wagon today as he will be taking that and I don't think his mates can fit into the car seats. Plural. All three of them. God, if you'd told me (warned me) four years ago that I would be needing three car seats at the one time I would have laughed. Perhaps. Or cried.

Well, better do something domestic like hanging out the washing. Ryu should be up soon and then I'll let my hair out, wind down the window and drink four diet cokes a row while belting out some 'summer of 69', or perhaps some Van, or something equally as old - as we drive over to drop hub's wallet off.