Friday, 6 November 2009

Coloproctology

I am presuming that coloproctology is the study of bumholeyoles and fixing there after of holes that need to be fixed.

I took Granny K to the bumholeyole clinic today. Ahem, excuse me, the Nishimura Coloproctology Clinic. Where they have an entrance for woman and an entrance for men. When you check in for your operation stay they even ask you if it is OK to let people know that you are there - ie: if anyone rings and asks something like 'I hear Granny K is in there getting her bumholeyole clipped. Is that true?' and the reception girl has to say 'no, have no patient here by that name.'

We left here at about half nine and headed for the shops and lunch. I asked Granny K if it was OK to leave a bit early so could do some shopping - seeing as was driving two hours each way and all. We got to the complex and I suggested going our separate ways for an hour or so and then schincronizing our watches to meet back up for lunch.

No, no, no. Granny K has noooooooooo shopping and isn't interested in doing anything, and is therefore quite happy to follow me round everywhere. Fuck it. I got so off my shopping guard that I nearly bought a fucking wind up Alpacca. Not sure if any of my five neices would have been happy about getting that in their stocking at Christmas.

She did pay for lunch though.

Granny K.


Not the wind up Alpacca.

I thought that today I would shop for ME - buy me some winter shoes. What did I end up buying?

A pair of shoes for Shou
A pair of shoes for Marina
Three English kids books (well cheap)
Chicken (for dinner)
Honey and Mustard Pringles (yum yum)

I had wanted to go to Starbucks for a 'quiet' coffee just with Ryu. But Granny K and starbucks and me wanting a quiet coffee not really all one of the same so I had to just get a take out. Yay - they have started the winter lattes. I ordered a gingerbread latte without thinking and then as soon as had paid realised they have a new one - a caramel eclair latte. Someone please have one and tell me if is worth driving all that way to have one!

Come 2pm and I dropped Granny K off at the clinic (check in from 2) where the nurse, on seeing Ryu, said she hoped he didn't catch a cold from being there???? I was under impression that bumholeyole patients, unless sneezing out ass, are there for operations and not asprin and cough lollies. We didn't end up accompaning Granny K to her room so left her and headed home.

She rang before and her operation is to be at about half ten tomorrow. Hub will drop sproglets off at kindy and then head over - on his own.

I am going out with Chiemi - Solar Panal Man's wife. We talked about going out for the day a couple of weeks ago. When she rang this afternoon I kind of couldn't be assed and made excuse that hub wanted me to go with him tomorrow. We then got talking and I started feeling all 'well actually I do want to go but have just said I was doing something else'. Emailed before and said hub could fuck right off and drive all that way on his own - seeing as I had to today.

I hate when I do that - suggest something, reneg and make up some shite about why can't do orginally suggested plan, and then want to do what had suggested in first place. Sigh. Is hard being so popular have to keep scheduling and rescheduling schedule. (not)

So she is picking me and Ryu up at half nine - but do I mind sitting in the back with Ryu because her son's carseat is in the front seat.

I know.

Take the fuckin thing out. I hate talking over the back seat.

Ah well.

Is a day out to a shopping department when we have no money to spend. I tried, on the way home today, to find an ATM that would take my bastard international Visa card. NADA. Every machine spat it back out at me - and I even stopped at the airport! In doing so I also left my keys by the ATM and got summonds by the loud speaker.

"Would the gaijin with the big bald baby attached to her tit in the feeding room please come to the information desk on the second floor to collect her keys. I bet you didn't even realise you had left them behind. Twat"

Well,not quite.

Just lucky some nice person had handed them in and I didn't have to run outside and try and stop some big ugly person trying to break into the family wagon.

So that was our day - throw a bit of unbloggables in there though. SIGH.


Nighty night.

A whole week without Granny K - late night baths and frolicks without having to worry about her walking in.

Wink wink.

SDGH&QL

Edit - see you that wink wink and raise you some nudge nudge!

9 comments:

illahee said...

you had me at sneezing asses. i will ALWAYS read your blog!!

(and my word verification is 'hemods'. bit suggestive there...)

umebossy said...

hmm, i've heard of "bottom burps" before but never bottom sneezes...

hope all goes well with granny k but also that you get to enjoy your freedom!

Lulu said...

"Would the gaijin with the big bald baby attached to her tit in the feeding room please come to the information desk on the second floor to collect her keys. I bet you didn't even realise you had left them behind. Twat"

This had me giggling.

Hope all goes well with granny K- having surgery on your bum must not be fun. I find it funny that the hospital will lie for you if you dont want people know you are having an ass operation. hehehe.

What is with the carseat in the front of the car? Seriously? Is that not illegal. It should be.

Sarah said...

I've had the caramel eclair latte - was given a sample in one of those itty-bitty mini cups, and then since it was yummy I ordered one myself the next time. Only trouble is I was trying to be "good" and so got it done with skim milk and no whip cream... totally not the same thing and so not worth it - of course! The worse it is for you the yummier it tastes. Sigh.

Anyways, yes, it is yummy - I love a good caramel latte and this one has nutty praline sprinkle-things on top.

thefukases said...

oooh decisions decisions..... I'm a gingerbread fan myself but caramel eclaire??? And take your kids. M and A were given free sampler bags of Christmas roast beans. WT??? Coffee beans for kids??? The girl there was all wowed by their undeniable cuteness but noone was happy when they realised they got coffee beans....

Enjoy your Granny K-less week of wahoo. Are you going to check out her lair? That's the main reason I can't come at living with MIL- I just know she'd snoop... and that I would be sorely tempted....

Janet said...

It's so much fun to read your blog ---the very fact that you manage to write one everyday is quite the feat, in and of itself. You somehow are able to create a laugh out of any situation, no matter how mundane it may first appear. You really are a talented writer (and I should know after just grading 25 essays of those who definitely do not fall into that talented range). So, I just wanted to say thanks.

shufuinjapan said...

I tried the caramel eclair latte today (iced), it was a fancy caramel latte, so I think you did really well to chose the ginger bread one, that is definitely more "Christmassy". But is was still GOOD.

Slime said...

Hope all goes well with Granny K, and she doesn't come home with any sort of contagious ass-yness that has you all sneezing out your butts!

Hope things are okay with your unbloggables as well, mine SUCK and there's nothing in this world I want more right now than to BLOG about them!!!!!!!

Gaijin Wife said...

Heather - I always check out Granny K's lair. I was planning on giving it a good clean up while she is in hospital but my week is looking pretty busy so maybe just a surface clean.

Janet - thank YOU for your nice comments again. It is nice to know people can enjoy reading about my what is usually a very boring existance!!

Slime - how bout we cut loose and you write about your unbloggables on my comments and I will write about mine on yours!! Sucks doesn't it. I have thought about moving to wordpress so can protect posts but I got specifically asked by my family not to blog about this so I would probably just feel guilty if I did!!

Thank you for the latte reports. I will be off to visit Granny K at the bumholeyole clinic this week so will swing by and get me some caramel eclair goodness in a cup.