Friday, 27 November 2009

All Tucked In

I got on a pair of non elasticated, non maternity waist band jeans today. No congratulations are in order as I haven't lost any weight I was just feeling brave. I spent five minutes trying to push my three babied flummy (you know what I'm talking about) in between the hole where the zipper zips up. I then remembered I could try wriggling round on the floor - so I did, and it worked. My flummy expanded (more like rolled in waves) around my middle enough for me to zip the bitch of a pair of jeans up.

I then spent all morning feeling so 'tucked in' - I like that feeling. Like being dressed in a kimono. You just know your bits aren't in danger of falling out anywhere. I was a bit scared to go to the toilet though as toilet floor not spacious enough for floor-wriggling/zip-pulling lark. But amazing flummy miracle is that if it stays within a confined space for x amount of hours it starts to set, like jelly.

My internal organs have been rearranged slightly but in turn that has made me feel less hungry which in turn could be a bloody good thing. Actually probably not feeling less hungry just scared that food wont know how to get home seeing as the yellow brick road is probably tucked in behind the wrong organ now.

Ryu was a monster last night, not settling till well after 1am. Extreme lack of sleep (moreso than usual) has fucked with my head and I would hate to re-read some of what I translated today. Am sure it sounded absolutely wonerful at the time but. I have finished three out of the four I had on my list for today. I have ten to go. So if the kids all go to sleep without much trouble tonight and I can get another one finished then I will only have nine left over the next four days - almost seems doable.

If the kids are not with the 'mummy-needs-to-work' program tonight then I will be kuroneko-ing (courier) them off to the highest bidder. That or shoot them with an anaesthetic dart as they whiz past me in a whirl of big heads, flapping arms, and general toddlerness. Ryu, who isn't yet at the whizzing stage, will have to settle for some crushed up horse tranquelizer drugs rubbed onto boob - mine that is. Fat lot of use rubbing shit on his moobs would be.

Granny K tried to enlighten me that perhaps Ryu's fussiness these past few days wasn't his teeth but my milking schedule. I needed to let him be hungry for longer. I bit my tongue off trying to hold back. How very restrained of me - especially after she then later told me, as we were going to the post office, how unfair it was to Ryu to not feed him when he was grizzling for it. Christ woman.

She also gave me a Japanese lesson this afternoon, upon my return from lunch with Coffee Chiemi. I walked into the genkan (front door) to find her having talks with the jehovas (??) witness lady that rocks up ever now and then. The lady hadn't seen Ryu for months and commented on how cute he was 'Kawaii desune'. I replied with a thankyou, yes he is cute. To which Granny K reworded what I said to basically say thank you for saying he is cute, we think he is too but really can't say that in front of anyone so have to pretend he is ugly bald baby with face of seventy year old. If anyone tells me I have a cute child I say thanks, I know, aren't they adorable. I know its not very Japanese of me.

That said, if someone said to me at 1 in the morning that Ryu was just adorable I would say they could take the screaming, boob ripper offerer away for a day or two.

I should probably have some mummy and Ryu play time. He has been very neglected since the start of the translating.

Not long to go though. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Actually, no can do. Need to get dinner ready. Hub late tonight so have to do the whole dinner, bath and bed huha by self again.



Sara said...

Yay for non-maternity clothes... not there yet myself... but excited for you!!

Ganbare on the translation only a little bit left to go and then you get the yen!!! Just hope Ryu and the other kiddies give you a break... 1am is not a fun place to be with an angry baby (been there, done that)

Sending you supportive vibes from here!

Lulu said...

Not long now until translation is all done! YAY! I am sure Ryu doesn`t mind the lack of attention since he will go back to getting lots once you are done.

Hope all the kids go down tonight well. I hear brandy works wonders :-)

Yay also for non maternity, non elasticated clothes- I wonder when I will get there?! Kind of sick of wearing the same clothes all the time...

ps: emailed you about unbloggables.

Tammy said...

Oh, your first 3 paragraphs REALLY made me laugh! I love it! Your descriptions are just too funny! :) ganbatte!

Kelly said...

Are you doing eng - jap, or jap- eng translating? :)

Gaijin Wife said...

Kelly - Japanese to English. I would have shot myself in the head by now if I was doing the same content but English to Japanese :)

Kelly said...

Ahh ok. Cool. :) Glad it's not the other way around!