Saturday, 17 October 2009

Glam Bush Pig

All for the sake of fashion and wanting just a bit of glam back in my everyday hum drum...

I think they look good but hub thought the perfect white bits gave the fakeness away. I tried, I honestly did, to explain the whole French manicure thing but it was like trying to convince Granny K that knitted garments are allowed to have sleeves - a complete wast of time. Between putting them on last night and now I have discovered that:

1. buttons - both clothes and appliances
2. trying to take the top off a fucking yakult drink
3. opening a can of anything
4. peeling the sticker off to open the washing powder (I tried for three minutes before I had to resort to scissors)
5. nappies and
6. tampons

are a fuckin nightmare. And yes, you read number 6 right! Wahoooo. My period came. Despite fact that just about gave self episiotomy (??) putting tampon in it was nice to finally be not left worrying about the 'what if'. Although, and this is completely fucked up , I felt a fraction, for a second, of loss at the life that I hadn't even conceieved and even if had that would have probably been aborted. How is that for maternal juices flowing. Get sad over 'a thought' of a not-to-be-continued bun in the oven. Hub was relieved to say the least - as was my dad and I imagine that when he told my mum (who was on her 'girl's trip' when I rang today - her and a sister and a few girlfriends go away every year and this year they are at fab hotel/spa for four days no doubt getting fabulous massages and drinking squiffing amounts of gin and tonics and champers, sweety darling) she would have told the whole group and perhaps even toasted to my non pregnancy.

I have also discovered that hub likes these nails. He does.

All the better for a bit of added scratchy scratch to spice things up. He has seen me faffing about with things today though and made one comment - but quickly took that back when I reminded him he hadn't been bloody complaining in the shower last night.

Today, after dropping the kids oft at kindy, hub did some union shit - writing up letters or something while I did some housey shit. I convinced him we really needed to go and have sushi for lunch. We left with Ryu at half eleven and when stopped to buy a coffee at a vending machine in the town twenty five minutes away realised I didn't have my wallet. Shit. Hub didn't have the kind of cash needed for lunch and shopping and he isn't in posession of any of the money cards - as we all know that results in secret accounts and trips to the land of silver balls.

Had to turn round. Hub said he couldn't be flagged then driving all the way back to sushi. I rang the blender but she couldn't come and meet me so I really needed to try and convince hub. After several attempts at normal flattery and bribery I finally had to play the sexual favours hand - all for some bloody sushi. God, you should have seen how fast he said yes though. And that isn't testement to my fabulous skills in the bedroom (or the bathroom). No, that is just hub being warm blooded male.

We had our yummy sushi, did some shopping and came home with a few hours left before going to pick the sproglets up. I cleaned and cooked and watched some LOST and hub slept. LOST continues to fuck me off - which means I am desparate for English TV in order to continue watching it. BUT, Wolfgang West off my New Zealand drama Outrageous Fortune has just appeared on the scene so that was interesting.

Ryu got some tummy time this arvo - something I am very slack at remembering to do. But hey, I figure he'll still learn to crawl and walk in good time.
God, and really, who needs to even crawl or walk. Being that cute I'm sure he'll manage to obtain everything he needs just by smiling at all the girls.

Anyway, typing this with my new nails has taken up far too much time.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend.

SDGH&QL

12 comments:

Brenda said...

I'm totally with you on the mourning the the pregnancy that you didn't want that wasn't real anyway. A few weeks ago my period was late, which it never is, but so did a little stick test. I read it wrong at first and was screaming in the bathroom of a laundromat no less (because I couldn't take the suspense any longer and had to know right then and there), "I'm fucking pregnant?!" over and over. Then I read the instructions again and discovered I wasn't pregnant, and got sad all of a sudden. We women, we're never satisfied.

I think your nails look lovely, by the way. I definitely can't tell they're not real just from the photo.

Janet said...

Congrats on the period appearance, in addition to the new nails which showcase that lovely bauble...banner day really...

shufuinjapan said...

Wolf appearing on LOST is almost enough temptation to make me watch it...almost...does he get his gear off?

Kelly said...

Nice nails, you can't even tell they're fake :)

Nay said...

Your nails do look lovely!! Very very pretty! The nails I got done before the wedding really drove me insane!! They really do limit the things you can do!!
(I really think I use exclamation marks WAY too much...)

Glad you did get your period - it must be such a relief. Although as I always say 4 kids might have been nice :P hehe!! j/k...

tj-injapan said...

phew for no. 6!
love your nails, too. I had a pedi when I was home, but never even bother with finger nails these days, for reasons 1-6 above, lol.

Gaijin Wife said...

shufuinjapan - unfortunately he doesn't get his kit off :(

Chrysanthemum Mum said...

Glad to hear you got your period - I can't believe I just wrote that last sentence! How would we all cope if Gaijin wife had four kiddies to look after and no time at all to write her blog!!!??? How you manage to do it almost daily is a mystery to me anyhow.

Great looking nails. I was a slave to acrylic nails for about 4 years. It gets easier to do a lot of the things mentioned on your list. Buttons and whatnot will be a doddle in no time at all!

Corrina said...

love the nails! Do you buy them from the 100yen shop and file them waaaay down like me? And mine are still longer than yours! (temporary injury down under..) lol
Corrina in Kag writing in long fake nails after much shochu - quite a feat I may say!!

Gaijin Wife said...

Corrina - these nails from NZ and they came with a file but I haven't really ever had long enough real nails to get the whole file thing so I didn't use it.

CMum - I think if I had four kids I would be locking myself under the stairs with my computer and a bottle of wine every night for an hour just to keep some form of sanity.

Sakura Mama said...

Glad to hear Aunt Flo came to town ;)
Now send some vibes my way! I haven't had mine for 6 months!!! :@

Your nails look nice, and normal to me... I'm one of those freaks that has natural pure white tips. I was accused of scribbling white out under my nails as a kid... not cool!

I'm ashamed to say offering sexual favors doesn't really work much for Riki.. it sucks! I have to offer to BUY him something or pay one of his bills to get anything my way.. because he knows in the end, either he will get the sexual favors any way Or I won't even be stuffed to do anything and "forget"

medea said...

Just the thought of self episiotomy is going to give me nightmares for weeks.