Saturday, 26 September 2009

Just a Screw Darling

Hub an I have just spent an hour and a half in the semi dark tyring to screw...

in a screw or two in the garden. What a fuckin mission - and we are NO FURTHER ahead than before.

Our fun filled outdoor adventure lodge with swing and slide set arrived this evening. In two huge boxes that the Sagawa delivery man and hub huffed and puffed while carrying into the garden. Because of the crap delivery time the plan was to leave the boxes unopened until tomorrow.

But then hub planted the damn seed that perhaps we could do it after the kids were in bed. I mean it didn't look that hard - going on the picture on the webpage. How hard can a plastic outdoor adventure lodge with swing and slide set be. Afterall.

Christ give me another drink. The thought of even having to write about how much of a bunch of bollocks our bob the builder attempt was makes me gasp with alcoholic thirst.

So, (gulp gulp sip sip), while hub was in ironing his shirts for next week I was outside with the deck and genkan lights on cutting open the two huge boxes and assembling outdoor adventure lodge with swing and slide set pieces on the lawn. I started getting a bit nervous when saw humungous bag of bolts and screws,along with explanation sheet with big letters saying 'Casita de Campo'.

Excellent. My two years of Spanish are going to be put to the test - pity I can't remember anything other than 'cervesa por favor' (giz a beer). Open up sheet and thankfully there is English also.

I get through steps one to five with ease - bloody easy is this. Building adventure lodges. Hidden talents that I have.

God damn lower periscope wall and barrel nuts. Called hub in and we spent an hour and a half ground hog daying the first two bolts. I swear not. We tried about fifteen times - and I mean we would try and slide the platform slidy fucker brace in and insert sneaky fucker barrel nuts into the invisible designated holes. Needed a bit of force and everytime we tried to use a bit of force to get the platform slidy fucker brace into place the god damn periscope wall would unhinge itself.

So anyway, the garden is as is - with adventure lodge pieces all over the lawn and a box full of srews and bolts, misery and lost hope.

Sigh.

I was so thinking the kids would wake up tomorrow morning and run outside and see this amazing adventure lodge with swing and slide set.

Hub and I had to laugh in the end - as was that or divorce papers. Honestly - if you want to put your relationship to the test I strongly recommend the amazing adventure lodge with swing and slide set. Why go through years of marriage, pregnancy and children when you could find out if you were compatible by simply trying to put up some outside play equipment.

If anybody wants an adventure lodge with swing and slide set - an amazing one - then there will be one in pieces on our lawn for the next eight hours at least!

In other news today - hub and I went over for revolving sushi (I know - I smiled at the man who recognized me from Thursday) with my friend the blender - whose birthday it was a couple of days ago. Had yummy goodness, then went to the shops and home.

It is the kids sports day tomorrow - the kindy has a few activities before the big primary school kids get going. There will DEFINATELY be some pics tomorrow. I might try and go take a photo of our lawn at the moment - just to remind me that when we have the fuckin amazing adventure lodge with swing and slide set fully assembled, just what a pain in the ass it was. In fact, I may even make the kids face east and pray to the gods of amazing adventure lodges everytime they want to play on it. That or pour me a glass of wine to numb the memory of putting it together.


Cheers.

SDGH&QL

2 comments:

Corinne said...

haha! God I hate putting things like that together, I barely manage with Nitori drawers, just the thought of a whole kiddy adventure land makes me shudder!
Good luck, maybe the kiddies will be so desperate to play on it they'll find a way to do it themselves...that'd be nice ey!
Although I'm sure sunlight will help too! ganbatte!

Lulu said...

Oh the dreaded play set- you mention divorce papers, I think most Ikea furniture should come with them as they are also a mission to put together. Luckily (for Shun!), my friend James always seems to be willing to come around to help while Shun is at work/soccer and we manage to do it without fighting too much. Poor James though, he walks into our apartment and is like "hey, i put that together. Oh and that. Oh and that"

Hopefully once the sun is up things will be easier. Would love to see the finished picture :-)

I love outdoor play sets!