Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Faking Virginity.

Thankyou for all the comments on yesterday's post. We did a lot of singing today - and if Shou wouldn't take my bait prompting him all I had to do was hash one of his kindy songs to bits and he would tell me to be quiet so he could sing it. Sweet as. It didn't seem like such a bad day today anyway - maybe 'just because' or maybe because I was trying to avoid the stress. I wasn't letting him get away with naughty naughty shit but I was perhaps letting a few more things slide than I usually would.

I got a bit frantic at dinner time - as you do when you have a baby strapped to your back (crying and hence doing some kind of bloody dance jig thing whole time to calm him down) while trying to feed a three year old and two year old - who both wanted to sit at the big persons table. Awesome. What a friggen mess. But hey, nothing a few wet wipes wont fix. That and some new wallpaper and taking a good inch off the floorboards and rewaxing them.

Ryu and I went shopping for mini kitchen things and what a mission - trying to cut the top off a plastic container so I could put a bowl (planter) in it for a sink.

It was muggy as today and Ryu and I woke up from our arvo nap covered in sweat - he more so. Sweats like a madman.

Hub was late tonight but luckily Granny K arrived home from her vestlings overnight slumber party to Kumamoto at five o'clock - just in time to take Ryu while I went to pick the sproglets up. Hmmm, don't think I have ever used luckily and Granny K in the same sentence before. May never again - unless it involves luckily, Granny K and room at an old people's home.

Hub said that from November 1st through to October 31st next year he has to do his last year of 'union' shit. He will still have normal union stuff after that but for the next year there will be A LOT of stuff. Holy fuckin crap. That and the fact that the chances of him being moved out of the busiest most pain in the ass office are very slim and I will be hard pressed getting through the next twelve months. I wish his palm (or mine) got crossed with gold in accordance with his increasing duties, but no such luck. I imagine the words family first, divorce and leaving on a jet plane will be flung around quite freely over the next year - probably leading to nothing significant but the flinging around will lead to good posts no doubt.

It sucks - I am angry at him already and he hasn't even started yet!! Most of the anger I guess is at Japanese work ethic in general and the fuckin Union - who gives a shit when their wages have been going down steadily for the last few years and not up. Silly wankers. Bet it's just a cover up for a whole lot of husbands wanting nights out at pachinko on the sly - no wonder wages are falling aye.

Oooh, read some interesting (or disturbing) news on the NZ MSN homepage this morning - there is a product out there on the market for woman wanting to fake virginity on their wedding night - or any night they feel like it really!! Kid you not - is a little bloody like sack that obviously gets inserted and wham - ouch honey, is it meant to hurt that much and is there meant to be blood?? Is that all it takes? A bit of blood to fool a man? Surely, the handcuffs and a bit of riding on top would give it away?

Also saw only the title of an article - UK to ban highheels in the workplace. Hope this doesn't get enforced in Ireland too or European Sytlist will have to save her new shoes for nights out.

Anyhoo, time for a cuppa and to get to bed while the going is good and Ryu is sleeping - much needed after a day of not much sleep for him. He was in good form though - especially when I went to local home centre to buy some sandpaper stuff and ended up coming home with no sandpaper and a box of four packets of nappies - free. Over 200 nappies. Might be getting a bit pitchi pitchi (tight) by the time we get to the end of them though as only S size - so up to 8kg.

Nighty night


Monday, 28 September 2009

St st st stuttering

Shou has recently started stuttering. It may have been present before but I have really only noticed it in the last couple of weeks. It is noticebly worse when he is tired or excited or when the house is all go. I wasn't particularly worried as I had heard that suttering in small children is not uncommon and it usually rights it self if you don't pay too much attention to it.

There have been some occassions however when it is very bad and he can get no sounds out - eventhough his mouth is moving and he is trying. It is upsetting - both for him and us. Maki was very upset the first time he saw it and tried to talk to Shou about it. This was only yesterday and I have looked up some information from pediatrics.com ...

"Stuttering is also more likely to occur in children who are under a lot of stress, for example, after starting a new day care, moving, birth of a new sibling, etc., and it is more common in boys.

Stuttering is usually not a concern, as long as it doesn't persist for more than five or six months or at least gradually improve during that time period. Until it does go away by itself, some steps you can take to help your child, include:

1. Not correcting or interrupting him when his is talking, and ask others to not correct him either.
2. Not asking him to repeat himself or tell him to slow down.
3. Don't make him practice saying certain words or sounds.
4. Be sure to talk to your child slowly and clearly and give him the time he needs to finish what he is trying to say.
5. Talk to your child a lot by discussing his day, narrating out loud the things you are doing and reading books.
6. Try to minimize stress or situations that make the stuttering worse.

If the stuttering is ignored, it will usually resolve without any intervention."

We had a good day today - well post kindy anyway. I spoke to his teacher and we have agreed on how we will deal with it - or not so to speak. The one thing I am worried about is the bigger kids saying things to him and him getting embarrassed about it. A lot of the time he is in the little kids class and I doubt they would even notice - what with none of them being able to talk much anyway. He does get play time with the kids closer to his age though.

Anyway, lets hope it doesn't last too long - or long enough for him to want to stop talking so much. As much as I go on about him yabbering from morning to night I wouldn't want him to become self concious about a stutter and stop talking!

Ryu went down to sleep at seven - almost as if he knew - so I got to spend more time than usual reading to Shou and talking to him about his day - and putting him to sleep.

Ryu and I had quite a big nap this morning and I think I have caught up on some of the much needed catch up sleep. I got a few jobs done - and think tomorrow I am going to buy some stuff to DIY a mini wooden kitchen for the bottom of the playhouse. Marina is in to going up to the second level, jumping around and hanging out the window. Figure she might spend more time on the ground if there is something to play with. They were out there at half six this morning - which was still early but not as bad as I was expecting. Fifteen minutes after kindy and then enticed inside by dinner and grape juice.

Mummy wouldn't mind some mummy grape juice but we're being good for a while.

Any advice on helping the stuttering would be muchly appreciated.


Sunday, 27 September 2009

F*** Matsuri

And no hub and I weren't at it all day. The matsuri (festival) refers to what hub said to me mid afternoon - as in the number of times I had said the word fuck during amazing adventure lodge swing and slide set assembly.

I admit, the putting together of the amazing adventure lodge swing and slide set did get the better of me. At one stage I was CONVINCED I was going to have to ring up the company and get a refund - only to realise I had put the swing pole in back to front. I did about an hour this morning - on the sly while the kids were inside having breakfast and watching telly. After the sports day we came back and that's when mummy started turning into outdoor adventure play equipment crazed mummy. I'm not proud of myself but I know that it won't happen again because we ARE NEVER doing this again.

It took an hour and a half before lunch to get the main lodge bit complete. After lunch Marina went to sleep but Shou was on fire - get in the way, don't listen, over tired pain in the ass fire. Somehow we managed to finish the whole thing by four - not working straight of course as do have a few other children that needed attending to. It was sweet satisfaction at the end when there were no extra screws. Bit surprised they didn't supply any extras like you usually get, but then again I may find a couple pushed into the garden or in the back of one of Shou's trucks later on.

It has been a very busy day, so much in fact that hub and I have been on the go all day. Is amazing the kids managed to all get lunch and dinner. They were knackered though and Shou was flat out on the couch at half six. Marina was the first to go fifteen minutes before and Ryu not long after. I imagine Hub and I wont last much longer either.

Some pics... (in random order)

The kids in the kindy PE outfit just after their running race - about thirty meters.
Shou winning his race!

Ryu getting cuddles from dad at the sports day

The completed amazing adventure lodge with swing and slide set

Shou and Marina in the little kids cart before the big race

Marina being a big girl and looking cool on the swing


Saturday, 26 September 2009

Just a Screw Darling

Hub an I have just spent an hour and a half in the semi dark tyring to screw...

in a screw or two in the garden. What a fuckin mission - and we are NO FURTHER ahead than before.

Our fun filled outdoor adventure lodge with swing and slide set arrived this evening. In two huge boxes that the Sagawa delivery man and hub huffed and puffed while carrying into the garden. Because of the crap delivery time the plan was to leave the boxes unopened until tomorrow.

But then hub planted the damn seed that perhaps we could do it after the kids were in bed. I mean it didn't look that hard - going on the picture on the webpage. How hard can a plastic outdoor adventure lodge with swing and slide set be. Afterall.

Christ give me another drink. The thought of even having to write about how much of a bunch of bollocks our bob the builder attempt was makes me gasp with alcoholic thirst.

So, (gulp gulp sip sip), while hub was in ironing his shirts for next week I was outside with the deck and genkan lights on cutting open the two huge boxes and assembling outdoor adventure lodge with swing and slide set pieces on the lawn. I started getting a bit nervous when saw humungous bag of bolts and screws,along with explanation sheet with big letters saying 'Casita de Campo'.

Excellent. My two years of Spanish are going to be put to the test - pity I can't remember anything other than 'cervesa por favor' (giz a beer). Open up sheet and thankfully there is English also.

I get through steps one to five with ease - bloody easy is this. Building adventure lodges. Hidden talents that I have.

God damn lower periscope wall and barrel nuts. Called hub in and we spent an hour and a half ground hog daying the first two bolts. I swear not. We tried about fifteen times - and I mean we would try and slide the platform slidy fucker brace in and insert sneaky fucker barrel nuts into the invisible designated holes. Needed a bit of force and everytime we tried to use a bit of force to get the platform slidy fucker brace into place the god damn periscope wall would unhinge itself.

So anyway, the garden is as is - with adventure lodge pieces all over the lawn and a box full of srews and bolts, misery and lost hope.


I was so thinking the kids would wake up tomorrow morning and run outside and see this amazing adventure lodge with swing and slide set.

Hub and I had to laugh in the end - as was that or divorce papers. Honestly - if you want to put your relationship to the test I strongly recommend the amazing adventure lodge with swing and slide set. Why go through years of marriage, pregnancy and children when you could find out if you were compatible by simply trying to put up some outside play equipment.

If anybody wants an adventure lodge with swing and slide set - an amazing one - then there will be one in pieces on our lawn for the next eight hours at least!

In other news today - hub and I went over for revolving sushi (I know - I smiled at the man who recognized me from Thursday) with my friend the blender - whose birthday it was a couple of days ago. Had yummy goodness, then went to the shops and home.

It is the kids sports day tomorrow - the kindy has a few activities before the big primary school kids get going. There will DEFINATELY be some pics tomorrow. I might try and go take a photo of our lawn at the moment - just to remind me that when we have the fuckin amazing adventure lodge with swing and slide set fully assembled, just what a pain in the ass it was. In fact, I may even make the kids face east and pray to the gods of amazing adventure lodges everytime they want to play on it. That or pour me a glass of wine to numb the memory of putting it together.



Friday, 25 September 2009

Friends Away

The house is quiet!

Probably not for long but one can live in hope.

Ryu has the lurg (is a bit sick) and last night was absolutely horrendous. I am surprised in fact that I had any functionability at all today. But before that, about yesterday...

The kids went to kindy - yippy yi fuckin yay cause I was close to needing a straight jacket after silver week - silly old wanker, single man or I have no children woman who decided that was a good idea. The rest of us - friends, me and Ryu left about ten, made a pointless stop at the Shrine to take a look at the prezzie gift shops. Waste of time as goods obviously hadn't been re-stocked in fifteen years. There were a few 'kawaii's and friends told my they presumed it meant something like cool or cute but weren't a hundred percent sure and were scared maybe it meant pain in the ass. Look of relief when confirmed that everyone they met were saying their kids were cute and not little buggers.

Which they weren't of course - well, no more than my two. Must admit though that on ocassions the four older kids together did make for some interesting times. And it is refreshing to know that it isn't just my kids that don't listen or behave on demand. It was however a bit scary to realise that boys don't suddenly become good listeners and sensitive at age five - figures though as appears, after years of extensive research, that males never actually become this and I would infact have to become raving lesbian to achieve relationship in which anybody listened to me at all.

So back to yesterday - after crap shrine shops we went to the kiddy shop and then to sushi where both their boys ate LOTS more than my two would have. Both in volume and in variety. The two year old was fearless - stuff that wasabi filled shrimp in the mouth, spit half of it out and then realise two seconds later that actually likes that tickly nose wasabi induced feeling and put spat out half back in. My friend had the pickled eggplant - honestly is THE ONE thing I see revolving around and around that nobody ever takes. Was well pleased she decided to try the funny purple looking one as was curious. She said was edible though. Still doesn't make me want to try it but.

After sushi we did a 100 yen shop run and a supermarket stop for BBQ stuff and then home. At the supermaket stop friends hub and I did the taiko (drum) game at the games center. Haven't done it for ages. Hub and I used to do it lots - seeing as he is almost professional drummer and all (laugh laugh). We also played fab car racing game where it takes a photo of you and you race against the other two people. Home for a couple of hours play in the yard before I went to pick up Marina and Shou.

Kids had Japanese curry for dinner which I think they all ate, and then we all went (minus Granny K and Ryu) up to the mountains for an onsen (hot spring) - one thing they hadn't been able to (or wanted to) tick off their list of things to do in Japan. We went over the mountain road and I joked about seeing a deer or wild pig. What do you know and fabulously big stag runs out in front of car! Not so close as to hit us but close enough for hub, me and friend's hub to see.

The onsen was all good. All the boys got in but Marina and their two year old boy - who was flashing his willy off in the girls bath - were not too keen on the roasty hot bath, but had a good time getting naked and playing in the shallow end.

All the big kids went to sleep well but Ryu, my precious, my baby, talk about timing buddy. We had adults BBQ lined up so when Ryu wouldn't got down as usual hub asked Granny K to watch him - which she did for an hour or so while I ate. Ryu then had a bit more boob and went down. Then got back up. Then went back down. I left friends to fend for self at half ten and I was UP UNTIL THREE AM - well, with five minute intervals of nodding off. Ryu would not sleep on his own. Fair enough he is blocked up and coughing but my god. Rocking a baby for four hours solid does not a happy mummy make. Just before 4am I woke hub up (asleep in Shou's room) and he took over while I zonked for an hour and a half.

I have never had a night like last night before - not even first born stuff. I get it though - wanting to have cuddles when you're feeling like crap. It looks like he is a bit better tonight though, which could be partially in thanks to hub taking him to the doctors this morning - while I took friend and fam dam to the batting center and then Mos burger for lunch before sending them on their way at the train station.

I do have a couple of pics from the last couple of days, but nothing overly exciting. Will try and sort out pic of the four kids to upload tomorrow.

Oh, after dropped friends off came home and started on the 'turning the house back to normal' thing, which involved some hub maintenance. He had taken the day off work so only fair that I initiate a mid-afternoon international relations meeting. Was dampened a bit when he said mid-meeting that was 'good exercise' for me. Christ man, if there is a line that doesn't work - that's it. Wasn't really my meeting so to speak though!! After meeting we had to go to kindy for a road safety rah rah thing and to learn the parent/child dance we have to do at the sports day this Sunday.

Shou was THE LOUDEST child singing the road safety song - I was filled with mixture of pride and embarrassment. The dance is an easy one and Marina is well cute when she tries to do all the moves. I will give the video camera to Granny K but god knows, we may just end up with footage of sky - or ground.

Time for lights out.

Or some Gaijin wife and hub time.

Nighty night campers


Wednesday, 23 September 2009

Hub the Gem

I got some stuff done last night but still had a lot to sort out this morning for our guests. Mainly just normal house stuff but wanted to get dinner sorted before they arrived too.

Hub, the gem, offered for him and Granny K to take Shou and Marina out for the morning. THANKYOU. They left at nine and didn't get back until half twelve - after which they scoffed some lunch and Marina went down for a nap.

I spent the morning doing washing, cleaning and making lasagna. Well, minus the lasagna sheets and plus some cannelloni pasta - which is really just result of someone getting creative with lasagna sheets - probably a couple of housewives smoking a joint and wondering what rolled up lasagna sheets would look like. After trying to fill the cannelloni rolls with a friggin teaspoon last time I wised up and stuffed all the mince mixture into a zip lock bag and cut a hole in the corner and piped it in. Saved me some grief. And I so haven't got enough certificates for my obvious qualifications.

Friends arrived at 2pm and we dossed round home letting the boys plus Marina go wild. Was interesting to see Shou playing with an obviously older boy - five year old Jacob. There were some language misunderstandings but nothing that seemed to stop the action for too long. After all, a fire engine and a water pistol look the same in both languages!!

The kids all went down without too much bother tonight, although the younger of their two seemed intent on trying out the shoes in the genkan and practicing walking down the hallway. He was a bit excited about the low level sleeping arrangements and being in a room with only one wall and eight sliding doors. Tomorrow night we are going to try an adults yakinku (BBQ) on the deck after the sproglets are in bed. Fingers crossed. I figure worse case scenario we will have a child each still up - but the good thing about my friends coming to stay is that hub will go overboard in the 'I am Japanese husband of the year' stakes. This means he will put Shou to bed, wash dishes, pour drinks, run baths ....

Anybody else want to come and visit our fine town?

Tomorrow day, after I have dropped my two off at kindy, we are going shopping and then to revolving sushi. Their two like sushi but haven't had the conveyer belt kind yet. No worries obliging to that. Yum yum. Friend interested in buying some caligraphy scrolls to take home for gifts so I got hub to ask Granny K where could purchase such item in such remote crap hole location that is Kunimi. He came back out of her sty with a scroll - hand caligraphy-ied by the GK herself. Is quite a lengthy phrase though and told friend that if they preferred a more styly bought one then the Kunimi caligraphy master didn't need to know and I would just hide it in the back of the wardrobe until such a date comes around when I can dispose of it without notice.

Hub is taking Friday off and we might take friends to baseball batting centre on way to the train station. He was interested in going to one of the multi tower golf driving ranges but due to abundance of vast open spaces there is no need for multi tower range in Kunimi or surrounding vacinity.

So, the house is quiet now. All persons asleep and accounted for - minus gaijin wife - who despite being able to offload thousands of English words today still needs half an hour or so to wind down before bed.

Sweet Dreams, Good Health and Quiet Living.

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

Day 3 Over

Three down, one to go. The thought of keeping Shou and Marina home on Thursday as well has completely and utterly gone out the window. They will be the first ones at kindy on Thursday morning. Not surprisingly three days in a row at home not doing their normal kindy schedule has thrown them both more than just a bit off center - more like completely bloody sideways.

Solar panal man's wife and son came over to play again this morning - and the only pic I got round to taking shows Marina still struggling with the peace sign.

I'm not quite sure what we actually did this arvo - apart from me spending ages online trying to find a wooden playhouse and swing set for the backyard. Unfortunately bloody no-one ships the kitsets to Japan. Costcos doesn't have an extensive list of their goods and it is too far away to go and check so we settled for a different one - not quite so big but has the little cubbie house, two swings and a slide which I guess a five year old would still go down - maybe.

Definately a lot of use over the next five years or so - for us and all our friends. I don't know anyone that has one like this so until the novelty wears off Shou and Marina will be Mr and Miss popular at kindy. One place I saw it on the internet said it would take at least five weeks as had to ship from America. The place I ended up getting it from didn't say anything about that though so hopefully it means they didn't just forget to put it but in fact have some stock in Japan already.

I spent a bit of time this evening getting things sorted for visitors tomorrow. They should be arriving at the ferry terminal at about two. Hub is going to entertain the kids before lunch so I can vacuum and pretend our house hasn't just been home to the unibomber for the last three days. Absolute carnege - who ever decided to buy a hundred plastic balls in a flimsy tent?? shite.

Absolutely no fun keeping balls inside tent. Why? When you can hiff them round the garden, round the house and at your parents?

Not sure if I will get to blog while visitors here. If not there will be a photo bonanaza blog on Friday night.


Monday, 21 September 2009


Respect for the vestlings day.

Today the news people announced that one in four women, and an overall 22 percent of the population in Japan is over the age of 65. Obviously more women than men as of course we have more staying power. So Granny K, you are being respected. Gotta give in for one day of the year I guess. And thanks for looking after Marina today!

The rest of us got out of the house by eight! The toy shop is two hours away - including a toilet and snack stop. For obvious reasons we only venture to the toy shop once or twice a year. Shou started in with the 'are we there yet's before we had even got to the Kunimi boundary - infact he thought the spring onion factory was the toy shop. Sorry bud.

The rest of the trip there was uneventful - although hub did try and go through the wrong lane at the highway toll gate and we had to reverse out of it - into another wrong lane which I told him to reverse out of again seeing as no cars behind us - but which he refused to do and so we paid three hundred yen, went down the road, through the lights and back on to the toll road - to go through the RIGHT gate. SIGH - if only I had been driving - but then we probably would have been divorced by the toll gates.

Reached the Toy shop and as predicted Shou wanted the first thing he saw when we got through the doors. Some pumpkin Halloween outfit of sorts. Never had an interest in pumpkins or dressing up in anything other than a power ranger so was no surprise he wanted to ditch that in favor of a fire engine. It had been decided beforehand that he was allowed one thing up to value of two thousand yen. 1999 yen later... !! The fire engine makes quite a few sounds and Shou and hub are now fluent in...

'What's your ETA'
'We'll be there in two minutes'
'Come on men'

Shou LOVES his new fire engine...

We got Marina her birthday prezzie (end of October) and it is still in the car waiting until I can sneak it into the house - like now would be a good time but hey, it's not chocolate so I guess it can wait until tomorrow.

They had NO outside play houses so got a ball tent instead and for a fraction of the price.

Still really want a playhouse for the garden though and had looksie on the Internet when I got home. There is a massive one with slide, climbing wall, and three swings that would take up our whole front lawn, cost a months salary, and mean we have a constant stream of kids in our yard. Was sooooo close to just getting it but decided perhaps a bit big and will instead design own and see if the good builder (not the crap one that built our house -inbred fucker) from down the road will build it for us. Don't really need three swings although a normal swing and a baby swing with a front would be good. Hmmmmmmm. Should keep me off the streets for a few days.

We got home just after lunch and Marina and Shou spent the afternoon playing outside while Ryu fussed himself and myself silly inside. Thankfully they were all asleep by half seven.

We have friends coming to stay on Wednesday - for two nights. We don't have enough good bedding so bought a double futon set today as well and all the sheets and covers needed. Will be good to have a double futon for guests. Granny K has shitloads of futons out in the shed but I have seen the insects that come out of that storage box and I also know they haven't been taken out of the box since I came on the scene six years ago so I refuse to let them be taken out for guests. They will be the first thing to go after Granny K.

Need to do some housey shit tomorrow and a food shop. Also need to find out what time visitors will be catching the ferry from the mainland on Wednesday. Shite, also need to get on-line and find something cute for friend who had a baby boy last night - 57 weeks after giving birth to her little girl. She was the one I think I posted about - who didn't realise she was pregnant again until she was twenty weeks. Congratulations friend.

Hope all other mothers used to having small kids off at kindy are coping having them at home during silver week.


Sunday, 20 September 2009

Day 1 Over

Day one of 'Silver Week' (hope whoever won that competition for naming a five day holiday got fired) is over! Three to go - and would you believe I am even contemplating keeping the kids home on Thursday. Shoot me now.

But before I rahdy rah on about today here is a pic from yesterday - or two.

The goods...

The crew...

Solar Panel Man's wife and son came round for a play date this morning. Their son Tyson is the same school year as Shou but is actually closer in age to Marina. They all played quite well for a couple of hours...

They left, we had lunch, Marina went down for a nap, Shou and Ryu didn't, hub did, mummy wanted to but couldn't for fear of eldest son burning down the house, or sitting on his brother.

Marina woke up and hub took Shou and Marina to the park, during which time Ryu slept for a solid hour and a half while I caught up on some all important DVDs. Ryu and I met hub and co at Solar Panel Man's house where the older three kids, or really just Tyson and Shou, ran rampage round their back yard. Shou was an ABSOLUTE shite. At one point he even took a whiz in their backyard plastic playhouse. Had to turn it on it's side and hose it out! Then had to borrow some shorts and top off Tyson so Shou didn't have to go home naked.

Watching the three of them made me think what a nightmare it would be with three kids. Bit of a relapse there. Remembered actually had a third child, and another boy to boot so he will be running rampage and creating carnage in a few years too. It may drive me over the edge - or at least to go out and buy two chains and leads so can chain them up outside in the garden. Hub might need one too actually. Marina and I can sit inside painting our nails.

Picked up noodles for dinner - which in itself was a mission. The kids and hub were ALL ASLEEP by seven pm. There is a god. And she has handed me a chuhai and a bowl of popcorn for not losing it today. Soooooooooooooo close Soooooooooooooooo many times.

Hub and I are thinking about taking Shou and Ryu to the Toys R Us in Oita tomorrow - to buy a plastic backyard play house!! Not that I'm a fan of cleaning piss out of it but him and Marina had a fab time playing in it. I looked at wooden ones a while back but they were seriously expensive. Even if we do get a plastic one tomorrow I want to put a blackboard in it - can't go through childhood without a blackboard. That or some pavement chalk so they can draw all over the concrete wall in the garden!

Or maybe both.

Maybe after Toys R Us we will swing by Maccas - haven't had cheeseburger for yonks and the slightly hungover me this morning was gagging for one but wasn't up for the hours drive it would have taken to get one!

Hope everyone else in Japan is staying sane-ish through 'silver week'


Saturday, 19 September 2009


Bear with me. I have been consuming beverages of the alcoholic kind. That said though I only had a couple this arvo and then everyone left, we did the kid thing and then all went to bed - and I have since come back downstairs.

So hub's 'you don't need to do anything' for the BBQ involved...

spring cleaning the kitchen and living room
including floors
and the genkan
cleaning the john
or the toilet for those people who don't know what a john is
cleaning upstairs
but just suface
buying ice for the beverages
and a big bucket as bucket thought we had somehow dissappeared
into bucket heaven
cut up vegetables enough for eight people
a lot of fuckin vegetables
arrange nicely on plates so people think am fab hostess with the mostess
Sort out deck and BBQ area
Get dressed into something respectable
thought may have been bit titty
hub told me 'dashite dashite'
so obviously showing a bit of tit to the work mates is OK
that said, was bit of tit with edges of nursing bra showing
how bloody attractive

Was a successful BBQ me thinks. The two Kunimi people arrived at one and helped with shit - one (the one who looks like Kattori Shingo from SMAP) had brought with him SHITLOADS of Paua (awabi) and sea urchin (uni) and butt fat ugly shit ass sea snails (sazae). They got loaded on the barbie first, followed by the lamb (which somehow I managed to not get any of - ditto with the riceballs - and hence the light headedness after one drink) There was loads of meat and vege but I was up and down with Ryu - even though Granny K had said she would look after him from two until four. She kept bringing him in here when all he was was tired - had had stupendous boobie drink just before everyone turned up.

Oooh, just to baby brag - he slept six hours in a row last night.

I know.

I almost felt human this morning.

Oooh, just to shag brag - I DID END UP tormenting hub into a late night shag last night - as figured being dog tired and not up for it was great reason for doing it.

I know.

Slutty pants.

My unbloggable email that I sent last night got a reply. And I fully deserve it and may in fact have been totally out of line sending email in first place. I like to think that my relationship with my family is great - or grand as my Irish friend would say. Grand as bro.

The thought of anything fucking our relationship up really gets to me. I LOVE the relationship I have with my two sisters and brother now - bugger the growing up shit though. The now stuff relationship is heaps better and has been deciding factor in having three kids myself.

Anyhow, unbloggables may be on the mend. Yay.

I should probable wash the last of the dishes and head to bed.

Nighty night.


Friday, 18 September 2009

Another Friday

Another rather busy day which started with hub leaving for work at half bloody six. He said he had extra stuff to do and did I want him to leave early or come home late - I opted for the leave early - as it happenes he mailed at four and said he wouldn't be home till eight anyway! Awesome. I know it's not his fault but sometimes I can take it very personally.

Got the kids to kindy without killing anyone and then went walking with Coffee Chiemi. After our walk did some washing and shite and then she came and picked Ryu and I up and went to the next town over to do some shopping - very boring shite. Nappies and milk and then the whole shop for the BBQ tomorrow. Bought shitloads. Quite fun spending other peoples money! Lots and lots of beef, some chicken, shitake mushrooms, peppers, kimuchi, beer, chuuhai.... the list goes on. Spent all the money they put in.

Got home and had approximately three and a half minutes to put everything in the fridge before heading out for lunch with Solar Panal Man's wife! Got there on time though and fed Ryu while waiting for lunch. We had good gossip and bitch about mother in laws - mainly hers though. In fact I completely forgot to even mention the fire and alter candle incident with Granny K yesterday. How very unlike me.

Got home and tried to have nap with Ryu - who really didn't sleep for more than a twenty minute stretch ALL day - not uncommon. Didn't work so I put him out on the deck in his bouncer while I raked the cut grass and leaves and swept (with stupid Japanese half witches broom piece of shite) the courtyard. Hmmmm, not sure is a courtyard exactly, more like just space of pretend paving stones.

Pick the kids up from kindy, home, dinner... and a call from NZ which in hindsight I probably should have diverted as the dinner thing got all out of kilter and Shou, who must have felt mummy was favoring the phone over him, pissed all over the tatami room floor. Thanks for that sweety. Hub home at eight - Shou and Ryu still not asleep but not through lack of trying on my part. Finally both down by nine.

Humungous bloody sigh.

I have just written an email to NZ about the unbloggables and feel emotionally drained.

Need me some sleep - and some hub cuddles. God help him if he tries and turns cuddles into something else. So not in the mood.

Which could mean is just the ticket.


Thursday, 17 September 2009


Quite a lot went on today...

Didn't go walking with coffee Chiemi as friend was coming over first thing and wanted to at least have the washing out and the dishes done. Ryu fell asleep in the car on the way back from dropping the sproglets off at kindy so he stayed there while I did some shite at home and had a shower - altough admittedly I had brought him into the hallway in his carseat by then - so wasn't left out in car in driveway with window down waiting for any Tom, Dick or half gaijin baby thief to whisk away.

Christ, at least I'd get a good nights sleep if that happened though. Am so over the no sleep thing and I think if I ever get pregnant again I will spend the the first four months hitting my head against a brick wall, and the next eighteen years squiffed on vino. Then I plan on using all of hub's work retirement payout to buy a small house Tuscany (possibly size of toilet considering size of payout) to spend senior years sqiffing back more vino and breaking random things round small toilet sized house so sexy handymen have to come round and fix them)

So to leap back to reality from that tangent.

Friend came, had big catch up. Friend left - minus a quarter of a Coscos pizza which she kindly left and which we promtly scoffed for dinner tonight. Don't think friend is being ketchi (tight fisted) in only leaving a quarter - no, no, no. A whole Coscos pizza is obviously big enough to feed small African nation so a quarter was way big enough for us four. So thank you friend - another meal I didn't have to worry about!

After friend left I had to take Ryu for his first ever injection - the BCG branding. There was another vaccination happening at the same time so there were two little babies, including Ryu, waiting for their BCG and eight other toddlers waiting for their jabs. I got there first - not bragging, just stating a fact. Twenty minutes later after the signing up period was over the three nurses huddled together - but didn't huddle quite enough and I heard their entire conversation...

nurse 1: Katy was here first (never met the woman but apparantly we are on first name basis already)
nurse 2: We usually do the BCG first but the doctor wants to do the other jabs first today. What do you reckon?
nurse 3: The baby looks like he could handle the wait (kigen ga ii mitai)
nurse 2: But can mum? (mama no kigen wa dou ka na)

A few minutes later one of them comes over and explains that the BCG will be after the other jabs and is that OK. I am having good gas bag with friend and have of course overheard their whole conversation so say is fine. Sweet as. No worries bro. The nurse DID NOT go and explain to the mother of the other BCG baby mother!

My kibishii (pain in the ass / strict / pain in the ass) reputation preceeds me it would seem!

Ryu screamed the house down for the jab - is a nine by nine stamp that the doctor imprints on the upper left arm twice - as in like really puts his muscle into imprinting. Poor wee thing.

Interlude - quick five minute break for quicky on the couch - well not on really. More propped up against.

So, the jab - now that he has reached the magical jabs are OK three months he has a heavy jab schedule for the next year - which will get seriously fucked up if influenza jabs take place. Actually no, take that back as they don't give flu jabs to kids under one. His next one is Polio in four weeks. Marina has to have her second Polio that day too - they only do that one twice a year and previously she has always had a temperature or been in hospital.

Came home from the jabs and sorted English stuff out as well as dinner. Tried to take Ryu down for a nap because he was well passed the tired stage, but he was being a fussy bastard - can call him that as own son. If was a girl would have said fussy god damn hussy bitch hoe.

Sorry, but is amazing what lack of sleep will do to a woman.

And the thing that grates me the most is that the child is tired - so over the sleepy hump, way past that just doze off into peaceful slumber phase.

But, on the up and up Ryu found his thumb today - thank the lord. I hope he remembers where it is tomorrow, and the next day and the next. I will deal with buck teeth and braces in thirteen years if it means I get some sleep now. Bring it on.

After picking the kids up from kindy hub and I did the dinner and bath thing and were really hoping we'd get the bed thing sorted before my eight o'clock English class. No such luck though. Shou was still up and wanting mummy. Why he would even want me when I get all just 'bloody go to bed with your father' stroppy I don't know. It really fuckin annoys me that hub, who knows Thursday's are THE ONE day of the week I really need to not be dealing with Shou, still doesn't use all his powers of persuasion to try for a quiet settlement in the sleeping stakes. Anything it takes. I also prefer not to have a screaming child being put outside by dad.

Shou was up the whole time and I ended up putting him to bed after English at nine. He will be knackered tomorrow.

We had a large spider incident - that didn't result in any leg overings, or roger rogerings, but did result in me and my three girl students (the boy had walked out calmly the wanker) standing in a huddle while hub dealt to it. It was SERIOUSLY the size of my out stretched hand. I think hub was secretly scared but he had to appear staunch in front of us. Spider crisis diverted and the girls could leave the building.

Anyway, am just having some me cooling down time before bed. Everyone else now in peaceful slumber.

Nighty night campers.


PS - the title of the post I guess refers to Ryu's first jab, Ryu's first thumb suck and Ryu's first peeing all over the lovely Lulu's ribbon cloth (sorry Lulu - is in wash. thank god was just pee as I got peed on, shat on AND vomited on today)

Wednesday, 16 September 2009

Gifts from the Lovely Lulu

The other day we got a prezzie in the mail from the lovely Lulu It's a ribbon cloth - piece of fabric with lots of ribbons off it. Ryu is just getting into it...

Another lazy day - some cleaning, some English, some cooking, some coffee with Chiemi.

There was a minor Granny K spaz this morning - involving her leaving the candles in the alter room lit. Not cool. So not turning a blind eye to that - especially when I find Shou and Marina standing up at the alter trying to play with the candles. Slight mummy melt down that really just escalated when Granny K walked in to the lounge when I was half naked - fuck that's got to be one of the worst things about living with your mother in law - not being able to walk round the bloody house naked. Not that I do that much now that I'm a mother of three but still, the odd being able to get dressed in the lounge would be nice. She didn't even leave so I stormed out muttering something along the lines of stupid old cow.

Hub had a word with her about leaving the flames lit and her excuse was she was going to go back in but forgot and went to water the cucumbers instead. Would have shoved those bloody cucumbers where the sun don't shine if Marina or Shou had hurt themselves playing with the holy damn bloody shit christ fire.

Excuse me.

No, really.

I am over it now.

We haven't had a Granny K spaz for a while and I did feel a bit guilty as did go completely over the top but god damn it woman, what part of forgetting to put out fire and two year old boy do you NOT UNDERSTAND!!

Excuse me.

No, really.

I am over it now.

To change the topic - hub told me the wives of the two young blokes in his office won't be coming to the BBQ on Saturday. This is a bit of a bummer as was quite interested in meeting them but good in that bunch of men won't be inspecting house for dust and therefore can be lazy slapper in the cleaning department. Surface cleaning will suffice me thinks. A chilly bin full of cold brewskies, some gaijin boob (not through choice mind you - boobs exploding through any top I own), and a barbie hot to trot full of meat and what man wouldn't go home smiling.

Anyhooo, not long till Ryu wants so more suck action going on.


Tuesday, 15 September 2009

Valuable Lessons

So the tide was out this morning when I dropped the sproglets off at kindy. I was going to hand Marina over and then take Shou with me to retrieve the can (which was big can of dog food by the way) he biffed over into the sea yesterday but decided, in the rain, that it was a bit dangerous so I went on my own. Down the concrete stairs into the sea - or sea bed of rocks. Had to wade through few cm of water at one point but other than that just big zebra looking (had on black and white striped tunic) gaijin walking round the rocks with two year old's pink umbrella going to pick up a can!! Did I mention place is looked down from the cars going along the main road - during morning rush hour traffic. Or as 'rush hour' as it gets in Kunimi.

Took the can back to the kindy and Shou and I had wee talk about biffing things in the ocean and then I went home - feeling very proud of self for teaching son one of life's valuable lessons. Which would be what?? I'm not exactly sure but still. Felt worthwhile just the same.

It was pretty crap weather today so instead of complaing about not being able to get any washing done I just got on with it and did a few loads that didn't get quite dry properly yesterday - put them in the dryer, folded, did today's wash and hung that outside on the (roofed) deck so can finish them off in the dryer tomorrow!! The luxuries of having a dryer!

Got a good dent done in the cleaning - in between feeding the bottomless pitt that is Ryu. I think I am going to have to start a feeding and sleep diary. I never really started the schedule thing with Ryu and it is showing now - I have been feeding on demand and getting him to sleep when he is tired. It has been fine up until now but I am over it - want a bit more of a daytime rhythm going on now I think. Need to keep a log of what times he has his proper feeds and what times he just feels the need to suck on some nipple.

I have a huge bloody hicky (sp? love bite) right near my nipple. Not from hub mind you - no way, that would leave him with a face full of milk, no is from Ryu - trying to find nipple in middle of night and not quite making it. Fuck it hurt. Suction of one of those plunger things you use to unblock the sink. Ryu also has a hicky - on his wrist. At first I wondered what it was but it all fit together when I saw him trying to eat his own hand off. God, anyone would think I never fed the boy.

Hub got home very as quickly as possible ever smever tonight and we had good times having dinner - which wasn't particularly gourmet as had fucked up and used the salted 'saba' fish to make misoni (boiled in miso and soy sauce and shite). I am trying to use up all the stuff in the freezer and I usually buy fish thinking I will get all Japanese wifey and try being good at doing fish dishes -and then it ends up staying in freezer so bloody long I usually have to biff it - but not in ocean.

It was a bit too 'karai' (too salty and generally just too many flavors) for the kids but hub ate his and even said that the saucy (rah rah give you saucy) bit was well nice - which gives me a bit of confidence to try it again but with normal fish and not already salted stuff.

Hub is upstairs getting Shou to sleep now and Marina and Ryu are out to it. Me thinks hub will resurface though as there were wink wink nudge nudge things going on before which means there may well be some action taking place.

Midweek action - gotta be good for team morale.

I hear the floorboards squeaking upstairs....

must dash


Monday, 14 September 2009

Saying Sorry

Saying Sorry - not to you lot though, have nothing to appologise for. Shou - he made his first REAL appology today. I went to pick him up from kindy and he came running out of the playground with a big can - like an empty baby milk powder can or something. Apparantly one of the teachers brought it in for insects. Anyway, he ran off to the carpark and by the time I had picked Marina up and got their bags and run off myself after him he was on his way back - minus the can.

He had hiffed it into the sea!! ??

It was dirty and needed hiffing. Hope he never decides I'm dirty. Good like trying to hiff me over that concrete wall though.

I thought I would be faced with a tanty after he got told off by mummy. Thought would brave taking him back to the kindy to appologise anyway. And that he did. Sorry teacher. Hiffed that dirty can in the sea and I'm sorry. I appologised also of course as spawn of my loinith or whatever and ultimately everything he does is my fault/responsibility. If the tide is out when I go and drop them off tomorrow I will try and get the can back - not big fan of biffing things in the ocean.

Was very good appology by Shou so either he was genuinely sorry for his actions, or he is a very young learner.

Other than that Ryu and I had a quiet day pottering and watching Outrageous Fortune. Yeah, choice bro. Love it.

Hub just came home and had his dinner - during which I showed him the pics I posted of yesterday's Safari adventures. He said he thought I would have put a picture of the two 'neechan's' (young girls - or women really) who were sitting beside him. He's right though, if I had a picture of them I would have posted it. They were nice enough - took an instant liking to Marina but Shou gave them the cold shoulder (a man after his mummy's heart) and hub was just acting like a silly middle aged man sitting next to a half naked twnety year old woman - they were in the 'aaaaaaaaaaaa, raion chooooooooooooo kakkoiiiiiiiiiiiiii' category of 'neechans'. I new hub would be stoked and had to feel sorry for the girls when he pulled out a few extremely bad jokes and comments - that were so bad they have eluded my memory. Thank god.

I don't think I've mentioned that his work buddies are coming over here for a BBQ on Saturday. Or did I mention that? I know for a fact that this is the only house with three small children and a bitchy gaijin wife so why the hell they chose here - of course is curiosity but still !!

He said I don't need to do anything.

Um, darling, but what part of ten people for lunch and don't need to do anything doesn't quite register with you? Fair enough it is a BBQ on the deck in the afternoon when Shou and Marina are at kindy but please give me some credit. The garden will have to be looking nice, the deck sorted out and the downstairs cleaned guests coming well. Not to mention cooking, picking up ice for the chilly bin full of beer and chuuhai, cutting up veges, marinating chicken rah rah. A part of me will also want the upstairs looking nice just in case some nosey wife (two of them are coming) wants to take a look. Don't want to dissapoint - especially as I am known for being the 'strict wife'. Don't mind them thinking that, as by Japanese standards I am, but damned if they will leave this house thinking anything other than what a tidy house and nice spread I put on. And because they obviously all looking forward to lunch at gaijin's house I have ordered lamb chops for the barbie. Following lamb chops I will feed them cheese and vegemite sammies.

Not, wouldn't want to waste vegtemite and australian cheddar on them as well!!

Told hub he can't get so inebriated that unable to help with dinner and bed routine with kids. Vistors, who will be arriving at mid day are also to have vacated the premises by five pm - when I, the lovely wife who has to do everything but not allowed to drink, will have to go and collect Shou and Marina from kindy.

Well, shit, nearly half ten. Buggered yet again. Sometimes it takes almost the whole week just to recover from Sunday.


Sunday, 13 September 2009

African Safari

Ok, just wrote a whole post and deleted the fucker. Seriously too tired to re-write so the short version is...

Went to the African Safari park about an hour and a half drive away today - out of the house by eight which was a complete mission and in between time kids woke up and got out the door there were approximately fifty seven near mummy meltdowns, some bento making, changing, feeding and sorting out shit enough for three small kids to spend a day out. What a mission.

The zoo was great fun though, even if the kids did only make it to see the pony and the kangaroo after riding the jungle bus. Shou ran straight over the fence and into a pack of 'roos' - luckily none of them escaped in our direction. They slept most of the way home and the only dampner on the day was when Marina faceplanted out of the car from her carseat in our driveway - Hub had opened the automatic door and was getting the bags from down by her feet out and putting them on the steps when Granny K, who was sandwhiched in between Marina's and Ryu's car seats, undid Marina's belt. She pushed the protector bit off and promptly fell out - big scratch on hand and bump on head. She is a trooper though and only cried for three minutes. Hub nutted out at Granny K for a lot longer.

Hub had a BBQ thing tonight which he took Shou too and Marina and I had some girlie time, dinner and bath. Was really nice. The boys got back and did their bath thing and everyone was settled in bed by time my friend turned up just before eight. We had a coffee and catch up and then her qualified hands gave me a neck, shoulder and head massage. Nice. If I were twenty kilos lighter I do believe I am now supple enough to flick flack and back summy down the hallway!

I uploaded some pics of today but they didn't come out in the same order I put them in and I really can't be flagged changing them - mainly because the computer is so shit that no doubt something would happen and I am not starting this again. So, in no particular order...

Granny K in her safari hat trying to show Shou how to do a peace sign.

Marina zonked out in the car on the way home.

Mummy and Shou on the jungle bus - that face just spells trouble. Shou's that is.

Ryu's first pair of shoes - looked like a wrestler in his tightly pulled shorts and rolly hey hey thighs!!

Icecream time with Marina trying to do the peace sign but struggling.
The lion.
The tiger
The Elephant
And the giraffe - the star of the show. Shou was in giraffe heaven.

Saturday, 12 September 2009


Short Post. Tired as.

Ryu is going through a feed, sleep half an hour and be fussy phase. My African tribal woman boobs have been sucked dry and I am cranky from having to rock him to sleep about ten times today. Fair game I did get to watch loads of LOST while I was doing it but so not fair - hub was asleep almost all day on his own. He is sick though so I can forgive him. Just.

He also took Marina to the docs this morning to get some meddy for her ten pack a day smokers cough. Poor wee thing. She still spent the afternoon at kindy though.

It pelted rain this arvo which of course

Interlude - am watching Outrageous Fortune and shit it makes me laugh. Thank God. I needed that today. I'm actually quite surprised I have had the next series four two whole days and haven't watched any.

Anyhoo, I'm wordless today, for the first time ever.

Nighty night.


Friday, 11 September 2009

Milk Today, Champers Tomorrow

Gotta love this t-shirt...
It's finally getting cool enough in the mornings and evenings to wear long sleeved tops!

Two of the kids are down, one is coloring the white bits on his fire engine in with red marker and the other is out drinking! I am off to pick him up in an hour - hopefully Shou will be asleep by then. The plan is to pack Ryu into his car seat and take him with me as can't really leave all three kids with Granny K for the hour - murphy's law they would all wake up screaming! If for some reason Shou isn't asleep by half eight, I will take him instead.

Coffee Chiemi and I went out for sushi and on the way over had to go past the clinic I had the kids at - she had her latest there too. Got talking about friend who is due in a week and turns out she had her baby three days ago. Did quick drive by of baby shop to get a prezzie and dropped in to see her after lunch. Was great outing and still got home in time to have nice nap with my boy. That about sums up our day. Had to do the dinner and bath and bed thing minus hub but Granny K, bless her and all her vests, helped out a bit round dinner time. We all got in the bath together, god help me just me and the kids I mean, and Ryu only got splashed and kicked once or twice. Or was that maybe more like ten times. Nevermind though. We all survived, albeit with me doing a bit of running round starkers getting nappies and towels and wet slippery kids trying to run round before getting the pat down.

So, I feel the need for a cosmo moment. Not the drink, the mag - as in 'ten ways to find out he just isn't in to you', or 'the latest moves to get the best orgasm', and don't forget 'when you don't like your friends new man'.

Stop reading if you're related to me.

So, just a random cosmo question being thrown out here...

Does anybody else get an itchy nose after they orgasm or is it just a gaijinwife me thing?? It took hub a while to pick up on it and now that he has I sometimes have to fake an itchy nose too! Not that I'm that big on faking. Would rather get the goods really but sometimes when hub is in need of hub maintenance, or I think I can hear a child stirring ... I got caught out a few times and hub admitted I have a crap fake 'shudder' and also that didn't itch my nose!!

I got out of the shower the other day and was itching my nose...

Hub enquired as to whether or not I had been having a solo international relations meeting in the shower? He looked a bit put out. Why on earth would I do that when he is always up and ready, so to speak. But you know how it is. So much easier and more productive sometimes - these one woman meetings.

On this particular occasion hub wanted to know if, seeing as was in the mood and all, I wanted to hop back in the shower. But then he backed down and said I probably wasn't up for it again so quickly! I said was young and energetic and if need be could well perhaps maybe, but never actually tried, go five international relations meetings in an hour - but that if they were going to be meetings with him I might need to show him some more tricks to have such a productive hour.

He looked quite up for it and I started to fret - thinking that could well end up handcuffed to the bed and pregnant by lunch time at this rate. Needless to say five times in one hour was not attempted.

I think I am in fact relieved.


Thursday, 10 September 2009

Insurance Info

Unlike New Zealand, Japan has extremely crap interest rates for any term of bank investment. Long term, bulk, whatever, the interest rate is almost non existent. I think at our local bank it is 0.5 percent if you're lucky. In New Zealand at the moment I have money in a 24 month long term investment at 5% - still bollocksy crap in my opinion as used to be getting 8%.

When Shou was born we got hounded by the post office to register him in the 新学資保険 - Education Insurance Plan. There are a couple of plans - one for 200 man (2,000,000 yen) and one for 300 man (3,000,000). You can choose whether you want them to pay out in installments or in one bulk payment when your child turns 18.

We registered Shou's plan under hub's name but Ryu's under mine - as found out is a bit cheaper that way. Marina is uneligable due to knowing that she would need an operation from ultrasound in womb. Didn't have time to register her beforehand. We still asked but got turned down. We need to wait a full year after her operation and have a certificate from her doctor saying all is well in kidney and bladder camp Marina.

9,740 yen will be taken from my bank account every month for the next 18 years, equalling a total of 210 man or something. We get a bulk payment of 200 man back. The plan includes insurance so I guess we are paying 10 man for 18 years worth of insurance for Ryu - which is well cheap. The money doesn't grow, it isn't an inverstment per say. But, it is a way of getting a regular amount of savings for Ryu's tertiary education out of our hot little spending hands once a month. Out of sight out of mind.

Sending money back to NZ could be an option but then you have fluctuating currency rates, interest rates, pain in the ass rates, can't get money straight away pain in the ass rates rah rah. That said though I am thinking about setting Marina up with an account in NZ and just getting her insurance here. Hmmmmm. I have enough back home to finance her account but not enough to finance three and it costs money every time to send back to NZ.

So that's the insurance rant - and just to make you want to join even more... we got a free box of gladwrap and a plastic folder. Awesome.

Anyway, day was very boring. Walk with Chiemi, visit from post office lady who forget to get me to stamp one of the ninety nine places must stamp on yesterday's form, trip to supermarket, English in the afternoon, English in the evening and over and out Scotty.

Off for sushi with Coffee Chiemi tomorrow.


Later - Coffee Chiemi lent me four seasons of LOST. I watched the first serries ages ago and am well into the second. Must say it bloody annoys me about as much as Omorosa (sp??) off the Apprentice. Does my bloody head in.

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

Hatsu Bumbo

Not sure if it's Bumbo or Bunbo but today Ryu had his first try. I bought this one for Shou and has certainly done it's dash. Sturdy things that they are though and it will be doing another child - it has done a couple of other people's kids in between!! The latest was Coffee Chiemi's son Uta-kun. They brought it back today as I had said I thought Ryu was getting ready to be able to sit in it - although I thought maybe his head and neck would need about another three weeks or so - but not too much Stevie Wonder action going on.
And all on his own just for the fans...

Post office lady came over this morning - after I had been walking, done some house stuff and made myself presentable. She was here for an hour! Everything got written out correctly, the 't's crossed and the 'i's dotted - and of course I had to inkan my life away - or rather 10,000 yen a month for the next eighteen years!! There are two courses, one that gives you 1,000,000 yen when the child turns eighteen and 1,000,000 in installments at various times before that. It also gives you a basic insurance for your child that when calculated comes out to about 500 yen a month which is jack shit. Really is quite a good scheme. Especially as Japan savings schemes at the bank are almost non existent. Anyway we got the other course that gives you the one lump sum at age eighteen of 2,000,000 yen.

After she left Ryu and I had nap, did some shopping, had some lunch and some coffee with Chiemi, taught some English, fetched some kids, fed them dinner, bathed them, put them to bed and DIDN'T YELL ONCE - in fact writing that in capital letters is the closest I have been to yelling all day. What an achievement!! Long may it last.

An add (commercial) for the African Safari Park an hour and a half away came on this morning and Shou and I had conversation about going. I asked him what animals he wanted to feed. You go round in a bus and feed the lions and tigers etc. He said he wanted to feed the elephant, ride the giraffe, and feed the sparrows!!

I will try my best. One out of the three I do believe he could do one in the back yard.

Sleepy sleepy tonight. A bit of blog hopping, a cuppa and bed.

Nighty night campers.


Tuesday, 8 September 2009

Silly Man

This morning, as I was putting the kiddly winks in the car for kindy, hub came out and said that the European Stylist had left her watch here. I got a bit panicky as is lovely silver bling watch that I wouldn't want to be posting internationally and therefore would need to courier to her hotel in Tokyo before she leaves back for Ireland on Friday.

According to hub, her watch looks like this
I got a good chuckle out of hub thinking a bag carrier clip for the push chair was a sports watch. I must admit the clip wasn't sitting on the table like this, it was in the key bowl by the front door but still!! I was going to write that also amazes me that he hadn't noticed friend had been wearing big silver watch all week - she wore it ALL the time, bar shower and bed time - but then hub, is well, a man and therefore lacks in the supreme powers of observation that we women folk have.

If you happen to know another man who you think would perhaps mistake this clip for a watch as hub did then please keep him from coming within a 100km radius of this fair town. I fear that two men this silly would perhaps equal an environmental hazard. Who gives a shit about reducing co2 emissions when what we should really be spending the annual budget on is reducing useless men emissions.

Actually, I will be quite happy to keep my useless man if the new government really does stick to its proposed children benefit scheme whereby families will receive about 24,000 yen per month per child up until the age of junior high. With three children that gives us about 70,000 yen extra per month. I think the current scheme gets hashed though but that is only 5,000 per month a child so much rather the new scheme. I just hope they sort their shit out and we get to benefit sooner rather than later.

Ryu and I had quite a lazy day - had a huge sleep in the morning. Yay. Followed by a wee outing, including going to the post office to post a wee parcel up north and to tell post office pink hearts letter lady that we had decided to sign up with their education savings scheme for Ryu. She is coming over tomorrow morning to do the paperwork.

Came home and then went almost straight back out again to meet Solar Panel Man's wife for lunch. Has been a couple of weeks so had lots to catch up on. Her sister in law is staying - not with them but downstairs with the parents. There have been some issues and I think she needed to have a good rant.

Speaking of sisters in law - mine rang this morning to ask whether her home made cockroach deterrents had arrived - limes stuffed chocker block with cloves. They arrived a few days ago along with 20,000 yen from the insurance they had on Granny K - that they got after her recent de-polypings. They sent same amount to her. Don't know why we got some of the pie but not complaining as this month tight on the purse strings and hub was almost going to be taking cup noodle to work for lunch - and then coming home to cabbage and tofu soup.

The principle of the primary school I teach at occasionally also rang this morning. She rang on Saturday as we were driving home from the hairyport to drop friend off. Ryu was nutting out and it was obvious that perhaps not bestest of times to talk about upcoming classes - as in classes in October - as in thats right three whole weeks away - as in thats right just a continuation of classes I was teaching before I had Ryu. Anyway, she could hear Ryu crying and asked if it was an inconvenient time? What do ya recken aye! She said she would ring back later - I said Yes, Monday would be fine.

Got home twenty minutes later and mobile started ringing. I checked number and ignored it as was her. It rang for about twenty rings. Two seconds later the home phone rings and hub goes to answer it - back away from the phone darling. It was her again. It rang for about a minute. I know I should have spoken to her about the classes but I go past her office twice a day - taking and dropping the kids off at kindy, which is beside primary school. I 'bump' into her about every second day. She didn't need to ring on the weekend -when obviously it wasn't a good time.

I 'bumped' into her again this morning and she tried to entice me into her parlour but I was about to go walking with coffee chiemi (as in she was standing beside me) so declined. She got out a piece of paper with all the dates I had to teach from October through March. Got home and all the dates were one day out - as all supposedly on Thursday - the one day I asked them not to be but hey, could shoot self in head and she still wouldn't suss it out. She is so flaky it amazes me the school functions at all.

Anyway, enough of that. Hub home early again. Kids ate all their dinner and got relatively clean in the bath. Quiet house by eight pm.

And that 'I am the cutest (baby in the world)' pic I promised...

Monday, 7 September 2009

Three Months

The little man is three months old today. How time flies. Before I know it I will be sending him off to college and opening the home up to freedom, freedom, freedom. Can't believe it has been three months since he arrived on the scene. Three months since my week's holiday in that exotic resort where you scream for a few hours and then get given a cute bundle of joy, followed be three days being waited on hand and foot at Jo's retreat for pregnant woman and mothers of small children.

He is getting big and I should have taken a good pic to post but you have all seen enough of him lately - will take one tomorrow though cause really he is just adorable and has some fantastic gears that need to be shown off.

Marina was home today. Got a call from the kindy JUST as had gotten in the car after walk with coffee chiemi. Temperature of 37.9 and could I come and pick her up. I arrived 20 seconds later as literally car was parked in kindy carpark. Got home and took her temp - 37.0 which is bog standard for that age. She was genki as all morning, had big lunch and big nap and then got a temp of 38.4, had some meddy and was fine all afternoon. Of course she wasn't running round like Shou would have been.

Having the two kids all day was fine though and managed to get the essentials done and a few extras like dropping off the last of the return gift waffle things. Hub came home straight after work and all the kids were asleep by eight. Other than that not a very exciting day at all. Granny K helped a lot.

Hub has just gone and bought a beer - so much for not drinking till his health check this Friday!! Me thinks he thinks he will get a rematch of last night!! But, unfair as it is, I got my period today. God damn it. Who said breastfeeding meant you didn't get your period. Absolute bollocks. I got it back at about three months post birth will all three babies. I guess at least it means for sure our silly antics last month without the security guard hasn't lead to another blue line. Praise the lord.


Sorry for boring post. Promise I will go out scouting the roads of Kunimi for gossip tomorrow.

Sunday, 6 September 2009

Ground Hog Sunday

Not to sound like a broken record but today was another sunday in the gaijin wife household. Another sunday of tanties, oversized spiders, mother in laws saying stupid things, visitors at inappropriate times, more tanties, an unsettled baby, a neurotic mummy and god bless him a daddy trying to do his best.

We started the morning with a spider incident. And here I was only a couple of days ago saying there was NO WAY the spider in the log burner could get out. Whatever. This morning I was on the loo and Shou came running in saying spider, spider, mummy there's a spider by the rubbish bin. I thought was small (size of fingers when you do the OK sign) spider I sprayed last night. I get off toilet and investigate, thinking am looking for dead spider. I bend down and when I lift my head up I am face to face with the ash covered spider from the fireplace. Fuck, shit and bugger me sideways. Get spray and spend five minutes composing self. Tell Shou to stay on the chair and just as well cause as soon as sprayed it it came running at me - I kid you not. I jump on the couch like a pathetic woman and then, to save my family from being eaten alive by gigantic spider I tissue box the skinny legged bastard - and leave it as is for hub to dispose of. All can say is thank god I'm not shagging hub at the moment.

By about 9am I was ready to pack it in for the day - or at least pack Shou off and send him to a distant relative in outer Mongolia - if we had any.

Sundays are by far my most 'I suck at this whole parenting lark' day. Some of the thoughts I have are both scary and embarrassing and it is amazing how fast they can come on or evaporate into smiley mummy and I love my kids more than life itself mummy. I don't think Shou did ONE thing easily today. Every step was a challenge. Some things I just gave in on but others that I stuck my parental rights ground on I ended up having to deal with a tanty.

We had two particularly spectacular ones - or rather one very horrendous one, during which Granny K felt the need to come in and voice her opinion on how Shou needed to be taken to the doctors as he obviously had some tanty inducing illness. I myself think he is just being a three year old. Whoever invented the terrible two phrase obviously didn't have a child who was three! Anyway, hub told Granny K to bugger off and I just ignored her - as I do so much these days.

Then there are family moments like this...
When you think how lucky you are...

how much you love your husband for being so good with the kids and knowing when you are about to break and need a minute away

how much you love your daughter for being so damn cute and increasingly helpful

how much you love you son for actually saying thankyou for the awesome shoes he got the other day and for being able to do big boy stuff like going on the swing unassisted

how much you love your baby for being so rolly polly cute and happy at hanging out in his bouncer on the deck watching the washing in the breeze

how much you love your mother in law

OK, so that's just pushing it a bit.

About the inappropriate visitors...

At half nine two vestlings turn up - they are here to meet Ryu and give us a small gift and 'welcome' him to the community and tell me to contact them should I need any mothering adivce. The lady came over on Monday and asked if the two of them could come and do their bit on Wednesday at 11am. I said I didn't know what time would be back from drinking myself legless in Beppu so perhaps another day would be better. She suggested Sunday. I said was worse day of week and would be absolute chaos. She asked but would we be home. I said yes but... She said see you on Sunday then.

So they turn up and I am in jimjams and hub has both Shou and Marina in car to take out to park. I ask hub to sidetrack vestlings for five mins while I throw on at least a bra and undies under my jim jams. Just as I am about to go out and great them they bloody well leave. I should be grateful but I am resentful that they turn up at such a ridiculous time on a Sunday morning and leave before I have even had the chance to throw on some trackies.

Add-in - hub has just said he saw a 'ハッマー' in real life (Hanmaaaaa), and I thought he meant the thing those beefy mullet haired men throw round their heads at the olympic games, but he actually meant the car. Sigh to life in an international marriage. It's amazing we can communicate at all really.

He has also just said, out of the blue, that 'Katy ga sekai de ichiban suki da yo' (love you mostest in whole world) - been a LONG time since had anything like that so is nice. In between typing we have been talking about the rah rahs of life with three small kids. This time will pass. We WILL get through this time and come out with well rounded kids. Well, lets hope so.

damn - has just said 'shinai?' (want a shag?) which made me laugh, as I clink my wine glass with his. But, hey is times like this when lets face it, and be completely rude in the process, that a good rogering would perhaps not infact make things any worse but would at least release something from somewhere at sometime ..


Watch this space.


Edit - half an hour later. Helloooooooo Roger. Feel loads better. All is well in the world. Love being mum of small three children. Two out of three of whom will wake up during the night!!

Saturday, 5 September 2009

Sayonara Daisuki Na Hito

European Stylist left today :( It was so nice having her to stay. Shou and Marina didn't take long to get used to her and Marina especially was always sitting on her knee, playing with her silver bangles and trying to pull the red nail polish off her toes. Her latest word is kawaiiiiiiiii (cute) - probably due to bigger kawaii-sa value of friend than mummy. Must get into nail polish and bangles again!! Thank you so much for coming to visit friend. Was great and I hope you win the Euro Lotto so you can come back every six months and even build that holiday house Granny K has talking about this morning - friend is allowed the field out the back for her house. Granny K reckons perfect spot and bonus as has good drainage! Actually, if you win Euro Lotto can you set up gaijinwife travel fund and I will take turns taking a child with me to visit you every year! First year Ireland so Shou can practice saying Slauncher (kampai / cheers) and I can go round saying he is trilingual. Then we can move onto warmer locations. Perhaps the Caribbean, oooh Tuscany would be nice too.

Marina and popo-chan, the doll Granny K gave her when she was born and which she has just started carrying around. Thank the lord. Is a nice change from all the fire engines and trucks she has been playing with lately - not that I mind of course. My little girl can grow up to be a fireman or bob the builder but must admit is lovely seeing her being a 'little girl' a bit more now!

Shou was quite a 'dag' (funny bugger) this morning - saying to Ryu...

'anata wa ha ga nai desu yo' (You have no teeth)

He said it very slowly and pronounced each word very clearly. Was very amusing. Doesn't sound as funny in English though because we would usually use the word 'you'. Shou and Marina are both going through a 'baka' boom at the moment. Calling anyone and everyone a dickhead (baka). Marina used to only be able to say 'ba' but yesterday I got a very clear baka - for telling her off when she deliberately spilt her cup full of water and started splashing it with her hands. She then threw her plastic cup across the room - god knows where that DNA came from.

I have tried telling them off, ignoring the word and talking to them philosophically and asking them why I am a baka. Nothing works. Do I just need to ride the baka boom out perhaps?

Friend and I took Ryu and visited an English friend in the next town over. He is a lecturer at the university we worked out and he is married to Japanese woman and they have two primary school age boys. Was good to catch up with their goss and following a couple of cups of real coffee and a slice of cheesecake we went for lunch. Came home, sorted luggage and hub and got in car for trip to hairyport - did anyone else's mother call the airport that?

She is off to Tokyo for few days to do the type of shopping she loves and is unable to do here. Watch out Akihabara, Shinjuku, 109, Hello Kitty shop, Johny's Jimusho shop etc. I'm not quite sure how she will fit it all in her suitcase as it weighed more when she left here than when she got here - and it lost our prezzies, a pair of sandals and two pairs of jeans she left for me. I foresee some sending to Ireland happening.

Anyway, the kiddies are asleep and I think I need an early night. We have more friends coming in a couple of weeks and it may well take me that long to sort the house out. All but the bare essentials of housework got neglected over the last week.

Nighty night.


Friday, 4 September 2009


We didn't make it to the shrine today. I hurt my foot yesterday - Marina dropped her bottle when she came down in the morning and it shattered everywhere - as in damn amazing the company got away with manufacturing a baby bottle out of such crap shite glass. Everyone got told to not move while mummy got the vacuum and then the wet cloth. Shards of glass must have flown over the room though and it wasn't till I had been walking around on foot whole day that felt sore. Hub hacked away with it with some tweezers, which was just about more painful than childbirth, and I am now left with a bloody sore foot - that may actually be because glass is out but huge hole left from happy go lucky hub wielding tweezers round like fuckin jack hammer.

Anyhoo, meant couldn't be venturing to shrine as that particular shrine involves a lot of walking and stairs. Foot fine for sushi and shopping though!Ryu at revolving sushi.Shou's new shoes so he can practice for the sports day coming up. The kindy kids have to do a short run and then a dance with the mums.

Had a lazy afternoon doing some cleaning and getting sorted for sukiyaki last supper.
Yum yum yum.

The kiddies are in bed, including the laughing cuddly cute Ryu

Shou is still a bit out of sorts and has woken up twice since going to bed. Fingers crossed he's still OK for kindy tomorrow.

Friend off to Tokyo tomorrow. Not looking forward to that. Has been so much fun having her to stay. Gotta love English speaking house guests. She is leaving behind a pair of her jeans for me - and it will take me a fair while and some air sucking to get into them!! A good incentive!


Thursday, 3 September 2009

You know you've been in Japan too long...

You know you've been in Japan too long...

When the Japanese Media hypes bloody Oinky flu up so much you end up feeling your current supply of products may not be enough and get online to pre-order more handwash that wont be arriving for three weeks.

You know you've been in Japan too long...

When you see a spider and think calmly how much smaller it was than the one that led to leg over pre-Ryu incident.
This is the biggest one seen inside this year. It is on the inside of the wood burner so not getting out and they don't seem to climb back up the chimney so I imagine it will die in a couple of days unless a child decides to open the door - shite. And if so then I hope am not in vicinity as three children enough me thinks.

My Thursday English class started back today after breaking for the summer holidays. They were good and I used my friend so they could all practice introducing themselves. Ditto for the evening class but they had to make up a couple of questions each too.

Shou WENT BACK TO KINDY TODAY - and after dinner promptly got another temp. I hope he sleeps it off. The house felt so strange after a week and a half of one or two of the older two at home. Marina is in fine form and her cough has even cleared up.

Friend and I planning (if Shou not at home) to go to USA Jingu (Shrine) tomorrow. Maybe some sushi of family restaurant food on the way home, some nappy shopping and supplies for Sukiyaki for dinner - our last supper. I asked her if she wanted it and apparently, although I can't remember, it was the last meal she had with us before she left Japan two years ago! Maybe hub has it in his mind as a good sendoff feed. He has told me to invite Granny K to eat with us. She might decline though as can't eat till at least Marina and Ryu are down and don't all old people have to have dinner at about half four?

So, the snack story ....

The snack is one that we used to usually end up at after office drinking bashes in Beppu - while I was living in Kunimi as a CIR on JET. My supervisor had a thing for the mama woman that owned it. After leaving JET and moving to Beppu to work at the university I still went to this snack every so often - usually after drunken phone call from someone from Kunimi who was on the lash there. The mama asked me if I wanted some extra cash.

I said yes and ended up working there two or three nights a week for about a year. It was good money and not too bad most of the time. I didn't work on nights before big work things and it hardly ever interfered with my hectic social drinking schedule with the other single gaijin gals that lived in my apartment building.

I used to get drunken comments from well, drunk men quite often. I let most of them slide and I even said yes to a slow dance with some local company honcho - he was sitting on the bar stool at the time when he asked but when I came round to the other side to dance noticed that when he stood up his head was perfect alignment to gaijin boobs. Ah well, I must have had a few and didn't really care and it made his night and was no doubt the topic of conversation for many drunken nights with the lads to come. Got me a head full of gaijin boob the other night....

Anyway about a year into things I was thinking that I really needed to stop all these late nights. One of the regulars (according to Mama - he had never appeared on my shift before) came in with two mates. An hour of whiskeys later he decides it would be a good idea to show the gaijin bar girl his penis. Sorry, but can't say chinchin as that is affectionate Japanese word use on blog. He flops it on the bar counter and asks me if it would 'satisfy me'. I am needless to say disgusted and all together starting to get a bit nervous as these men look a little wannabe bad ass. I would have gotten over it had the mama said something to her 'regular' customer.

She said zilch and after they left ten minutes later I had a wee go at her. She said she felt she couldn't because they were regulars etc. And I said well I couldn't and wouldn't put up with that kind of shit. The odd comment about my boobs, a cuddly old mans face in my chest for ten seconds maybe, but slapping penile on bar bench so not on. Told mama not coming back - and I didn't.

So, not too exciting but still surpassed the random flashes and wanking off experiences I have encountered in this country.

The house is asleep - I need some Ryu cuddles... He was in funny form today. Even got a REAL laugh and not just a one syllable half laugh.