Saturday, 8 August 2009

well well well

After I posted last night Granny K came in saying she had something in her eye - and could I please try and help her get it out. Ewwww but what can you do really. She was obviously in a bit of discomfort and wanted me to pull her eyelid back and use her pre-rolled tissue paper (in shape of jack hammer) to get bit of shite out of eye. Not sure which is worse - image of Granny K and her exposed eyeball or tits that she can fling over her shoulder.

Anyway, I tried and I failed. We even tried to wash it out but for the life of me I couldn't even see the piece of gomi (dirt) she was going on about.

Hub came ambling in at about one - dropped off by the skanky hoe after hours of yakiniku, beer and karaoke and whisky at a 'snack' (Japanese bar - in loosest sense of word as no beer on tap and no bouncers)

He didn't have much money when he set off for the night - about 6000 yen ($90 NZ) - which in the butt fuck middle of nowhere like Kunimi and the next town over is usually enough to go for the main dinner and the 'snack' which usually charge a standard 3000 yen for all you can drink and sing!

I wasn't feeling overly suspicious about things. After our big 'why have you got a secret account and ten thousand dollars worth of debt I don't know about'?? blowout I would have presumed he wouldn't be going back to that sort of thing.

Anyhooo, non-trusting gaijin wife in me looked in his wallet - 3000 yen. Even more baffling as humanly impossible to drink for seven hours on 50 dollars. Checked his phone - I mean why not, it was just sitting there gagging to be checked. Of course no call history or mail history - not because hub is total no mates but because he deletes everything (well almost everything). He was in the bath so I went in and had a riffle through his work trousers and what do you know...

well, well, well...

looksie at what we have here...

six hundred dollars and change - from what I can presume was a withdrawel of seven hundred (50,000 yen). I tucked it back in to the pocket and thought I would wait and see where it ended up after the pocket of his very yakinku smelling work pants.

Next morning I get up and hub is up with Shou - not through choice but through sleep deprived gaijinwifes telling lieing husband that he has to get up with him at half five. This is already after I have changed Shou's crappy nappy and pulled all the sheets of his bed because he whizzed on it after I took his shitty nappy off.

I check the trousers again and the money has gone - as you would expect. I check his work bag - nada. I check his wallet - nada. I check the sunviser in his car - nada. I check every other nook and cranny of his car - nada. Conclude that money must be on his person. I check my wallet and what do you know the cash card that was in his wallet last night (that is the card that only racks up debt - not for normal account and card that I am in posession of after last money debacle) is now tucked in between my starbucks card and book store discount stamp card.

The kids off at kindy and I ask hub if he wants to drive to the garden center - which is fricken miles away but I offered to drive so he could sleep. He was going to be taking Granny K to the eye doctor to get shit out of her eye but apparantly it dislodged itself during the night. He says he wants to sleep.

I am dead curious as to where the money is - and realise I NEED to know if it is in his short pockets that he has on. Now, the only way to find this out is, to well,

Get the shorts off.

And, I realise it's only half ten the morning but whats a girl to do?

I NEED To know.

So, I rock up to where hub is sleeping, flash my boobs and three and half minutes later the international relations meeting is over and hub is asleep again on the futon. I check his shorts pocket but he is too much of a noisy bugger, sniffling and grunting for me to relax enough to really look. I come out empty handed.

But fuck me I am still curious that he can get six hundred dollars past me.

This is me where talking about. I checked some obscure places like in his work shoes and behind his rear-view mirror in his car - he has one of those longer ones that you can clip on over the normal one. Am thinking it would be quite an ingenious place to hide money. Far far to advance for hub but I had to check.

I wake hub up to make him take me to the supermarket with Ryu. I am, of course, completely capable of doing this by myself but feel that he can not get away with sleeping off a hangover all day. When we get in the car I ask him where he hid the money.

Hub: what?
Me: the cash, where is it?
Hub: Ummmm
Me: It's on you isn't it
Hub: Yes
Me: How much did you withdrawer?
Hub: 10,000 ($150)
Me: Really.
Hub: ...
Me: You sure it wasn't more like 50,000?
Hub: ...
Me: Because that would explain having 42000 in your work pants.
Hub: When did you check my pants?

rahdi rah rah rah

We agreed after the last incident that hub would be allowed 10,000 yen a month pocketmoney - in addition to lunch money and stuff. He says he hasn't withdrawn his pocket money in months - but all will be revealed on Monday when I check the account.

So, thats the goss. Hub is still trying to pull the wool.


And I'm not going anywhere.

This afternoon Ryu and I had huge mammoth sleep - after me only getting about three hours sleep last night. Shou and Marina were good children - very rare. They are all asleep now.

Off now

lots of good English tv on tonight.

Ohh - watched Benjamin Button with Brad Pitt. Bollocsky bulshite crap fuckin movie. What a waste of 300 yen.



anchan said...

Oooooohhhh GW, I wish I could give you some advice but I don't have any, I'm afraid. I just have a bad feeling that trouble is brewing... You need back-up from somebody, you need Granny K on your side (no matter how painful that might be!), and you need a good friend on call at the drop of a hat.


gaijin wife said...

ancahn - I don't think trouble is brewing (well more than the daily shite). I thought about waiting to see with the money - but then also thought that I didn't want it escalating like before. He is a stupid man on a very short leash. He works hard. He needs to have more financial freedom - and I know and agree to this but resent the lies.

I am so not good with lies.

Would have thought the silly man had learnt by now!! Lucky for him I like pretending I am part of CSI or Criminal Mind team!! Love the hunt.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who fancies myself a bit of a detective!

It's a shame about the lies! Hope he knows how much he's upset you! I once had partner who lied to me and it's not pleasant!

It's good that you can see things from his point of view though :) Hopefully Hub will see things from your perspective and be on his best behaviour.

Brisbane no "enjoy shite" Katie

thefukases said...

you Nancy Drew you!

I have one of those extra wide mirrors too- once you've seen wide out the back, you won't go back! ;P) and I'd never even thought of hiding anything there. Ooohhh what shall I hide....

I am totally hopeless at hiding money though- always forget I hid it!

Enjoy the supersleuthing power. :)

chelle said...

Wow way to stay on top of him. The lies would drive me crazy!!!

illahee said...

do they flash the boobies on CSI? ;)

hope he finally does learn his lesson!

Rachel said...

He was hiding the money in his belly button, of course. Because if you try to find it you will be struck by lightning.

Let him go out and get pissed up royal, and take care of him when he's hungover. You WILL apprecitate the pay-back when the kids are older and you come and get on the piss in Nakatsu with me.

Sara said...

Sleuth Gaijinwife is back...
Well hubs seems to be a bit more clever about his hiding place this time... but you can't hide the account info so it should be interesting to see what he has to say.

I am not a huge fan of "lies" either... in fact catching someone close friend/husband/other in a lie is enough to make me go off for a week or so - I admire your calm cool and collectedness...

Hope Granny K gets her eye sorted out soon.. Ryohei's granny has the same boobies down to her knees with no bra under a light shirt... its really embarrasing for me but no one else seems to care...