Thursday, 13 August 2009

Parental Passion

"One of the built-in frustrations of parenthood is the daily struggle to get our chidren to behave in ways that are acceptable to us and to society. This can be maddening, uphill work. Part of the problem lies in the conflict of needs. The adult need is for some semblance of cleanliness, order, courtesy, and routine. The children couldn't care less. How many of them would, of their own volition, take a bath, say "please" or "thank you," or ever change their underwear? How many of them would even wear underwear? A lot of parental passion goes into helping children adjust to societal norms. And somehow the more intense we become, the more actively they resist."

From 'How to talk so kids will listen & listen so kids will talk' - Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish

Another one of my self-help books on being a good parent and trying to keep the peace. In my case it isn't so much 'uphill work' as trying to rock climb up everest without a bloody harness.

As per all the other books I am reading, I am currently 'in the middle' of reading this one too. In fact I may well be 'in the middle' of reading all of them for the next 18 years, after which time I think I can perhaps ditch the parenting ones in favor of ones on how to get sexy again, how to get back on the horse, how to keep those skanky hoes at bay.

One of the sections in this book suggests physical activity for kids who are extremely upset - one of the best of which is drawing. Give them some paper and ask them to draw the way they feel. I can't see it working too well with Shou but I am prepared to give it a go for the sake of research.

Ryu and I didn't really do much today - went and visited solar panal man's wife and son as had to give them 'thankyou gift' - which was a three pack of the mini waffles. They came in very cool pack so will take pic tomorrow. Miki Prune woman came round this arvo. She is actually Maki's counsin's wife - and a year or two back she tried to convince me that miki prune would give me a healthy baby / make me produce more milk, in addition to curing anyone I know of cancer etc. She came round with a gift for Ryu - AND some Miki Prune DO which are like prune extract gumdrops. Wow, talk about explosion of prune - and not altogether in a good way. Think I may be up for a few extra trips to the toilet tonight.

Hub got home from work and him, Granny K and Shou went to the family grave to 'bring back' the ancestors. Got it wrong in my post yesterday, it is the 13th they get brought home. When they got home with the lit joss-sticks or incense or whatever (still has to be a flame) we ALL had to go in and kneel and pray. Marina and Shou were very good at this but Ryu - well he was more intent on sucking back boob - so yes, ancestors got flash of gaijin booby.

Had English this evening. Was a good lesson as the boy actually said 'oh, I get it' on a couple of occassions - major breakthrough. His mother drove her car into a drain ditch thing when she came to pick him up and hub and I had to help get it out. Poor woman, the car doesn't look too old and now she is going to have to replace whole front bumper bit. During the class there was also a few ambulances and sirens blearing down the road where some obon dancing was going on. I had visions of Granny K, who had walked down to it with group of vestling friends along the road with no torch, no lights, and no guard-rail stopping them falling into river or paddie, toppled over in a rice paddie or something. It was someone else's granny though and Granny K wasn't a hundred percent certain what had happened.

If I get more than three and a half hours sleep tonight - which was all I clocked up last night - then I am going to keep Marina home from Kindy tomorrow. I will be able to use the double buggy I got back in NZ and have only used once!!

Oh, my one week English program job may be cancelled as location has changed to a place an hours drive each way from here - and for a 9am to midday program that would mean five hours of leaving Ryu with Granny K - for five days in a row. The original location was only ten minutes away but the new place would mean leaving house at half seven to drop kids off at kindy to drive straight to the job - I have trouble getting everything organized by then and I usually only have to put on trackies. Having to look actually presentable with my hair done properly and a bit of lippy on would just be too much. Shame really as I have almost pre-spent the money I thought I would be getting. Never mind though, I'm still optimistic about the summer lottery.

I didn't get thank you cards ticked off list again today - slack bitch I know. One day before Ryu leaves home they will find themselves in the mail.

Anyhoo, very boring post as not currently fighting with either hub or Granny K. Does make for dull blogging. But is only matter of time before gaijinwife gets an itch to rock the boat.



ygsmmom said...

My first comment here ..

Just wanted to comment on the last part of the post .. yeah .. what's up with that? Why are you all chummy with Granny K all of a sudden?! :P I miss your vents! I live with MIL myself .. it's good to know I'm not the only one who lives with a MIL and wants to either bitch slap or strangle/poison MIL from time to time :P


ローラ said...

The part about "ancestors got flash of gaijin booby" made me laugh! Such a funny mental image of imaginary ancestors being totally surprised and such.

Thank goodness Takeshi's family never had traditional "in-house prayer" events. Especially while we were living with them! I actually got to go to my first ever Obon with my PILs and obaasan, and I definitely was on my best behavior! Don't want to upset family ancestors. Even more - don't want to upset the family members who are still living, and who I have to be around. Haha.

colorbynumbers said...

We don`t really celebrate obon either, I think all hubbies brothers are too busy enjoying the fact that they get time off work so they go on holiday instead of spending it with their mum..think I would too!
Does Granny K spear veggies with toothpicks or skewers to look like animals?(horses are a fave) apparently (according to my students) its to bring the spirits home quickly and send them off slowly..
Shame about the English tv job, hope something else works out.

Rachel said...

sorry sorry sorry!

Just squelched plans for lunch at Jo's, it's back here in Nakatsu...due to my plans to go half way round the island in my little green bug car every other day of the week.

Including, I was hoping, in your direction on either Wednesday or Friday. Are you free? We're going to the beach, can you come? Or shall we just come to you bringing loads of ice cream?

You are, of course, welcome to come to Nakatsu, if you think you can find enough car karaoke to keep you going that far!

Midori said...

I noticed a while ago that Joey and I get along much better when I don't stress so much about him fitting in with how I think things "should" be going. If he doesn't want to wear underwear I point out that the kids at nursery will laugh at him and he instantly goes to put it on. Before I would have shouted at him and tried to hurry along the process. I am getting better at letting him think HE is making the decisions!! Now I am more laid-back and actually things work out much better as he co-operates more easily. That could also be an age thing though. We have been having alot of fun recently so I am hoping we are seeing the light at the end of the toddler tunnel.

I have never been a fan of self-help books as I always found all the advice conflicting. I have a general theory that as long as everyone gets through the day in one piece, we must be doing something right! ;-)

Midori said...

PS- As for books about "getting sexy again".. doesn't sound like you need much help in that area! LOL!

Kelly said...

That's a bummer about the job, hope something else comes up for you soon. :)