Monday, 24 August 2009

Oink Oink

The swine flu has hit our fair city. There was an annoucement over the loud speaker in our backyard and we got a letter home from the kindy - saying that the whole kindy will close down for at least a week when two kids get it. I would say that unless these two kids are polite enough to get it over the weekend it will spread like wildfire at kindy - land of snotty nosed kids and putting anything and everything in your mouth.

And therefore it is only a matter of time before it gets closer. Da da da da, da da da da da da da da arrrrrrgggghhhhh (jaws). I just hope we can survive without it for until at least September the 5th please. Don't wont European Stylist to have to go home to Ireland and spend a week in quarantine after all.

So today....

The morning - house shite like washing, shining the bench, looking after the boy, putting toys away, cleaning out all my English class cards and games and cleaning behind the TV in the spare room - OK, so that isn't usual housey shite but I was in prime procrastination mode. Why? Because I was meant to be sorting out English stuff for afternoon program with Iranian lads.

Got the English stuff done though and the program went fine. They were all very lovely, although their English was A LOT better than I was expecting so we got through everything faster than I had planned. Luckily I had a sheet from my Passport Plus textbook all copied and ready to go. At the end we discussed what they wanted to do for the next three days. The program will be an hour and a half studying and then going on a Let's Use English outing. First day Okonomiyaki - where they will do everything themselves. Second day - Granny K's family temple, and third day - the ex-mayor's wife will show them the Koto - Japanese harp.

All sorted. Spoke to the okonomiyaki lady and the Mayor's wife today. Action stations are go.

When I was talking to the Mayor's wife I told her friend was coming. Friend used to learn flower arrangement at their house once a week or so while she was living in the next town over so she knows them well. The ex mayor came home while we were talking and upon learning that friend was arriving at half three on Friday afternoon declared that we would feast on Japanese BBQ at his house that night. I had to turn him down though as friend travelled long way and I wasn't ready to share her the first night in two years that I have seen her!! Gomen friend. We'll do yakinkiku at our house another night.

So, I have a wee ditty, about jack and diane.

Well not really but i haven't laughed this hard for a long time. It is a ditty about the shinken chinchin though so if you feel that reading that would be too much information then be warned, you should stop now and come back tomorrow.

...

...

...

Last night hub and I got talking about the shinken chinchin (power ranger willy) and how little 'lip service' it got - ever since the early days really. Not my favorite past-time to be honest. He asked why and I said it was all just far too hairy. Do you know what he did - first he looked relived. My god, a problem that can be fixed he thought. He then went running to the basin with the nail scissors and proceeded to cut all offending hair from around the shinken chinchin. His three beer excited state got even more excited and he got a bit scissor happy and ended up ouchy ouchy ouch silly fucker snipping his shinken tama (ball). Not badly at all, but enough, in his three beer excited state to feel the need to put cream on and a band aid.

...

...

...

The ONLY band-aid we had in the house was

...

...

...

a shinken ranger one.

...

...

...

So the shinken chinchin got shinken covering.

And I laughed so hard I'm surprised the kids didn't wake up.

Why or why didn't my husband do this kind of shit before we got married - so I could have realised he was a complete twat - albeit one that makes me laugh so hard my boobs just about started leaking on their own.

Right you lot, bugger off to bed already.

SDGH&QL

14 comments:

Lulu said...

My brother and gf had swine flu- they survived! Seemed to be doing the rounds around Brisbane as my brothers gf got it first at uni.

Shun`s mum is sending me masks in the post- she has decided I should wear one outside all the time- am pregnant after all. I probably won`t but hey if she wants to go searching for last pack of masks in Chiba then at least she has a project.

OMG- you are lucky your hubs can`t read English or your blog because I doubt he would ever forgive you for telling the whole internet world about his shinken chinchin trimming incident!

If I ever meet him in RL I will have a hard time keeping a straight face.

colorbynumbers said...

oh oh I`m still giggling as I write this, that is a classic! definately one for posterity.ROFL!!!!

Nay said...

OMG!! I love it!! You had me giggling the whole time reading about your poor hub and his want of 'lip service'!!! I musn't let Naoki read your post or he might get some ideas... not my favourite pastime either :P

Gaijin Wife said...

Lulu - hub has full knowledge of chinchin postings. Obviously my blogging is so far removed from his everyday life that he doesn't care what I write about!! Lucky me. Sometimes after doing somthing completely twatty and stupid he will ask if it will feature on that day's blog. That usually ruins it for me though!!

Honestly, last night was so funny.

Slime said...

Wow! Sign me up for the 3 day GW Kunimi tour! Sounds like fun!

Now that all that gross hair is gone (my stomache still hurts from laughing so hard!) how will you get out of.....doing the deed? I tried the exact same excuse, and O has been sporting a hairless chinchin for several years now :(

Gaijin Wife said...

Dunno Slime, might have to practice a pretend gag reflex.

sassymoo said...

I read your blog and was laughing so hard my husband wanted to know what I was reading.He thinks your hubby is an idiot for attempting a hair-cut down there after a few beers. I have to agree. Poor guy, but a hell of a good laugh for you and your blog readers.

Ruthie said...

That has to be one of the funniest entries in a long time. Poor hub, but 10 out of 10 for initiative. I don't know whether I'll be able to look him in the eye when I get there now!
Thanks also for declining the cho-cho's invite. Him and his wife are so nice but I think I may need to ease back into Japanese mode. An episode or two or London Hearts and Gakko e Ikko and I should be fine though!

Melanie said...

hahahahahha.......I can just imagine a drunk guy doing that (no particular drunk guy in mind but I can easily imagine that).

Now you need another excuse not to do it....you can make him feel better and say its too big......I doubt he could easily fix that.

Chrysanthemum Mum said...

Very funny post indeed. You are lucky to have such a rich source from which to select your blog content! May your hub continue his silly antics.

ローラ said...

That was hilarious! I can't believe he did that. Haha. :)

Buuut he had had 3 beers already, right?

I had a similar (ahem) incident with Takeshi in a drunken state, a few years ago....

I mentioned that his "scene" down there was way too hairy for me sometimes, for similar activities...

So he decided it would be a good idea to shave it all off. He ended up regretting his decision, the next morning, of course.

Boy, he was SO itchy down there, for weeks. ;) It drove him nuts. Heh.

illahee said...

ROTFL hilarious!!

am hoping swine flu doesn't affect your family!

Helen said...

Am laughing too much...how can I write my own blog now? My hub can and sometime does read my blog so I CAN'T write intimate details like that! I don't think my hub has ever drunk enough to do that though.

Thanks for the laugh!

J's mom said...

LOL You are too funny.

My hubby is hairy too (his chest is hairy, even his back a little bit, definitely his legs) so it is not true about all Asian men being body-hairless. I wonder who started that rumor.