Friday, 31 July 2009

Siblings Without Rivalry

I am reading a book at the moment called 'Siblings Without Rivalry' (Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish). I've actually only just started but already I think it will be a winner. It has changed how I think already!! The book starts off with an exercise asking you to think about your reactions in certain situations...

'your spouse puts an arm around you and says. "Honey, I love you so much, and you're so wonderful that I've decided to have another wife just like you."'

Your reaction....

My reaction... yeah, well you can just fuck right off. I'll bitch slap any skanky hoe you bring into MY house.

'When the new wife finally arrives, you see that she's very young and kind of cute. When the three of you are out together, people say hello to you politely, but exclaim ecstatically over the newcomer. "Isn't she adorable! Hello sweetheart... You are precious!" Then they turn to you and ask, "How do you like the new wife?!'

Your reaction...

My reaction... silly cow, and those tits are so not real.

And on it goes. It has really made me think of how Shou must have felt when Marina came along and how they both must feel now. Obviously our scenario doesn't involve jiggly mummy and new and improved perky mummy but the principles are still the same. Definitely food for thought. As far as I can tell the book deals with how we as parents react to our children and how this in turn affects the way they interact with each other.

Anyway, I'll let you know how we get on.

In an effort to practice scream-free parenting (another book I am 'in the process' of reading) I was very calm and showed extreme inner poise this morning during the usual morning madness. I didn't yell once. I did very strongly suggest that perhaps just maybe Shou and Marina would like to stop throwing stones all over the deck and lawn but that was as far as it went - especially as I really brought the situation on myself! We have a big wooden table on the deck with a built in BBQ bit for Japanese BBQ. It has a big wooden lid. We can't use it for BBQs any more so I cleaned it out and bought a whole lot of biggish pebbles so that Shou could play 'kouji genba' (construction sites) in it with his dump car and diggers. He was playing with the very small gravel under the deck and it was pissing us off something chronic because it was getting all over the grass - which isn't good for lawn mowing or running round in bare feet.

Marina's favorite trick is to sit in the 'construction site' and hiff all the stones out. I'll try and get a pic of it tomorrow.

So anyway, it was a fairly peaceful morning - bar hub being a grumpy prick but will just let him be I think. Hub is working late on end of month shite and in doing so forgoing a dinner and drinking thing that all of the other office workers in our immediate area are attending. I did the dinner and bath thing on my own all though Granny K did help with Ryu while I was finishing getting tea sorted. They are now all asleep.

I met up with Solar Panel man's wife for lunch - when we walked in to the restaurant we saw her father in law which meant we couldn't have big faffin gossip about her mother in law - but also meant that he paid for our lunch on his way out - and in the thirty minutes we had after he left we still ended up only talking about babies and other mummies and kids.

Went for morning walk with Coffee Chiemi and then another big one with just Ryu this afternoon. I have definitely upped the walking since starting GW points - and am consciously trying to drink more water too.

I think hub will probably say he wants to go to the doctors about his back tomorrow and I am torn between wanting to go so we can talk in the car and have lunch - and leaving him be a grumpy bastard on his own. He probably needs some 'me' time too. He is taking Shou to the local festival in the evening to see the fireworks.

Apologies for very boring post - making up for over excitement of honesty post last night.

A couple of pics to sign off with...

This is a REAL smile I kid you not. Yay.

Double Chin... definitely putting on the beef



Ruth said...

I love that big yawn! He looks like he's starting to get those lovely chubby baby arms as well. So cute!

Chrysanthemum Mum said...

Gaijin Wife is never boring!
My sis recently recommended the Siblings without Rivalry book and another by the same authors called "How to talk to kids so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk." Keep meaning to order them from Amazon.

Ryu is such a cutie.

Midori said...

What a beautiful smile!
That siblings book sounds quite interesting. If I ever manage to produce one for Joey, I will have to check it out! LOL!

thefukases said...

Boring? You pack more into 24 hours than most of us do in a week!

Love the Ryu pics and am definitely going to give scream free parenting a go. Deep breaths....

I haven't read the Talk so children etc etc book but I talked to someone who had and do the mirroring thing quite successfully here. It has *almost* broken Meg of her revolting habit of grunting when she didn't hear you the first time. If only we could break Ojiichan of it that easily!

illahee said...

love the pictures. i always come for the pictures. ;)

Khea said...

Wow when you put it that way, it really makes sense. I ought to pick up some parenting books and get a head start. I love this kind of book =D

Ryu... god he's cute. Too cute to be true!