Monday, 6 July 2009

Hot, hot,hot.

Granny K's older brother and his wife have just turned up. Haven't seen them for a while. I brought Ryu down for them to admire and have put him back upstairs but think all the kawaiii praises may have gone to his head and he is starting to stir.

Took him to the supermarket this arvo - just quickly for eggs and the likes. Three old women I have never met all said how it wasn't good that I had such a young baby out with me and the one young lady I ran into whom I know just laughed and said how good I was at juggling - holding the baby in one arm and my basket of shopping in the other. Honestly, how do the vestlings of the world expect mothers with babies to get anything done! How did they do it? Must have been even harder considering internet and catalogue shopping wasn't even around. When I do a big shop I go to the closest supermarket that has carts big enough to plonk the baby car seat in.

Anyway - Ryu is one month old tomorrow so officially that lets me off the hook for being a crap mother taking her newborn baby out and about. We had a good night last night - apart from a few throw ups and some squirting pee in the middle of the night. We didn't make it downstairs until just before seven - which despite feeding two times during the night was the closest to a sleep-in I have had for a while. Shou and Marina had been fed and changed and I don't even think I woke up because of Shou nutting out.Ryu and I went back to sleep after round one of the housework and slept until mid-day. Unheard of. I feel very refreshed and ready to take on the chaos of the evening. Hub is going to be late but this current work thing is due to be out by the 9th so might have some earlier nights again after that.

I really need to get Shou sleeping on his own. What bliss to have a child that would snuggle up for a book and then give you a kiss and go to sleep all on their own. Any advice? Marina is usually asleep in the next room by the time he goes to bed so any techniques that don't involve letting him scream for hours on end until he's so tired he falls alseep.

A couple of comments from my last post where from women with children older than mine - both saying that their 'future' life (their life now) is not what they imagined it would be when they were at the stage I am now, with little kids running round. This got me to thinking what I want my 'future' life to be. It's hard to imagine really. So many of my constants will be the same - this is of course assuming that hub and I last the distance, and assuming that Granny K goes gracefully and I am not left having to take a class in vestling toilet and bath care.

At the moment all I am looking forward to is a time when I have three children who can dress them selves, feed themselves, go to sleep themselves and most importantly hold a damn conversation long enough to not throw a tanty. Surely little boys start sorting their shit out by the time they are about five? With hub's recent behavior though expecting Shou to sort his shit out when his dad can't might be asking a bit much!!

Yesterday was a typical Sunday - we thought it might be nice weather though so hub had bought a couple of waterguns and some bubbles on Saturday. The one he got for Shou was about as complicated for a three year old as a watergun can be though and Shou was left very frustrated and very wet because it kept leaking out the end. Marina got completely saturated thanks to Shou after he had figured the gun out.

They start getting in the pool at kindy from today. The local carpenter goes and bangs up a shallow pool every year that has a big blue tarp in it. Seems enough for the little ones to enjoy themselves and splash round. The bigger kids go in the shallow end of the primary school pool. I think I forgot to mention that in the middle of our big argument the other night - right after I started crying and right before I was thinking how my glass lasagna dish would look wrapped round the side of hub's head, Granny K came in to the lounge and said we were being too loud. We were by no means shouting but for midnight I guess our voices could have been a bit loud. Hub told her to bugger off (acchi ike) and that her TV was usually up so loud it was a miracle she could hear us at all. As she was retreating back to her room I told her not to worry about the noise as from tomorrow it would probably just be her and hub again anyway.

After our sushi outing on Saturday hub came back with a huge bunch of flowers. I saw Granny K checking them out, perhaps thinking they were mine. Would have been nice but they were instead for a colleague of hub's who had retired. Hub, and four other men went out drinking that night and presented said colleague with huge bunch of pink roses. I wonder if you would come across the same scenario in New Zealand - five men and a bunch of pink roses. I would image the retirement would be a gift of some sort or perhaps a nice bottle of scotch.

Granny K was noticeably scarce on Saturday morning and when she was around she was being exceptionally nice and softly spoken - no doubt scared that she was close to getting a second lot of grandkids taken away from her. Hub's first wife and his two kids left when they were five and two and Granny K (and hub) have only seen them a handful of times in the eight or nine years since.

Well, I should probably get the bath ready for Ryu so then I can at least tick that off before the mayhem begins at five. Hub late tonight, tomorrow and probably Wednesday. It is disgustingly hot today and it is just going to be getting worse over the next few months. Breast feeding in this heat isn't a pleasant experience. I can't imagine it's that nice for Ryu either but then again if he takes after his father a boob is a boob and well, if it's in your face then who really cares how hot it is.



Lulu said...

No advice for getting Shou to sleep by himself, except maybe a nip or more of something with a bit of kick!

I am totally taking my baby out before the month- my mum arrives in Japan 2 weeks after my due date and so at least maybe she can help with the "juggling" if needed!! Plus we have new years so Shun should be around to help (I hope? Or am I dreaming!) - seriously people should mind their own business! I have already told MIL that the baby is going "out" before the one month is up and she just stared at me in shock and hasn`t brought it up again since.

Late nights would be hard with the three kids if hub isnt around- I hope, as you say, that the late nights are fewer and further between after the 9th!

Happy 1 month to Ryu for tomorrow!

ps: I think we need some more photos of Ryu! And Shou & Marina of course!

illahee said...

maybe shou and marina need to go to bed at the same time? i know it's hard, and i don't know your exact routine, but maybe something rigid and consistent: bath, brush the teeth, book, good night, lights out. it will probably be tough for about a week (?) but i think that now that both are in kindy together, they should be sleeping roughly the same schedule. if it's vastly different for shou (earlier than he's used to) maybe meet in the middle: keep marina awake a bit later and have shou head to bed earlier.

also, do you actually lie down with him (or both of them)? you might try the 'gradually move out of the room' where the parent moves his/her bed further away from the child's bed each night.

i really don't have any concrete advice, i still lie down with hiro and sasha (though they go to bed at the same time) until they fall asleep. surprisingly, tommy is my sleep on his own child... *sigh*

hope you survive the heat!

gaijin wife said...

Marina is easy - she still gets a nighttime bottle, although it's getting weaker and some nights is only water. She goes down at seven and all I do is put her in her bed (still a cot) and she sucks her bottle back with her glow worm and goes to sleep on her own.

The dinner, bath, brush teeth and story thing are together and then Shou gets some mummy time - which is really the only time he gets. THey aren't in the same room yet.

I usually lie down with Shou and pat his back and tell him stories. tonight Ryu was nutting out in our room for half the time it took. SIGH.

I start resenting hub when things don't go smoothly during the eveing thing. Seems so unfair. He is sitting at a computer inputting data and drinking coffee while I juggle three small children and try and get them to bed without too many dramas.

They are all asleep now though and my boobs are tucked away having a break.

illahee said...

ah yes, the one kid who is easy and the one who isn't. gah! too bad there isn't a switch on the kids so we can adjust them! lol

do you know the blog 'ask moxie'? she has a lot of advice on how to get kids to sleep. check out her categories...

Sara said...

wow - no advice just fear... is this what the future holds?!!?!

actually to be honest 3 is the age that scares me the most - enough attitude to be volitile and enough "knowing whats going on" to be able to exploit situations...

I may be having to ask you how you got through it in a few years from now... its kind of cool that we will have babies of the same age tho!! I'm looking forward to it when mine decides to finally make an appearence.

and yes she will be out and about ASAP - otherwise cranky mommy and cranky daddy wont have anything to eat... i think the whole 1 month rule is sooo silly.. those baa-chans probably lived with like 5 brothers and sisters and parents and their families back in the day

times have changed but seems like inaka-ville old biddies thinking can't

i could see how you would be resentful of hub for "leaving you to deal with" all three kids at once... i don't know what I'll do if Ryohei is like that... i have high hopes for him being involved but worry that i may end up being disappointed :(

gaijin wife said...

thanks for that site info - I just had a quick scan and am feeling better for not having perfect children that don't sleep seven to seven without waking. It's amazing how comments by your mother and other people you know can make you doubt your parenting skills - when in fact there are a shitload of people out there with the same issues, and for half of them they aren't even seeing them as an issue. Just part of the mothering package.

Thanks again. Will definately be back to read more on that site.

L. said...

My OB/GYN in Los Angeles made a really good point about the "one-month rule" -- which I guess wasn't just a Japanese thing. He said there's something to keeping firstborn children away from germs so they don't catch colds, because a baby with a stuffy nose can't feed easily, meaning less sleep for poor mama. But second, third, subsequent kids? They're exposed to their germy siblings, so there's really no point. (I remember taking a week-old newborn to pick up his big sister at the hoikuen, and getting the strange looks -- they were also looks that said, "You had a c-section -- why did they let you out of the hospital too soon?" -- and the answer was, "I escaped against medical advice.")

The sleep thing....the only thing that ever helped me was to exhaust my oldest (pain in the ass) son to the point where he collapsed before I did. In other words, no great advice.

Something else I can't write about on my own blog: my daughter got her period for the first time last week. And my husband was upset that I only made INSTANT sekihan!

Rachel said...

Here's another site with lots of tips that don't involve crying. I think I have the 'No-cry sleep solution' still lying around somewhere.

I put them to bed at the same time, it's easier that way! I really like being with them now, they tell me things when they are settling down to sleep that I don't get to hear at other times.

Once I bought my booklight and started to read a book while I did the back-patting, I relaxed a lot more and was less frustrated thinking of all the things I could be doing downstairs. Now it's my favorite time of day!

illahee said...

ask moxie is awesome in that way. also, a LOT of advice turns up in the comments section, so if you ever have time (hahaha) and see a post that interests you, be sure to check out the comments. lots of veteran mothers out there with sound advice. and very little judgment.

Brenda said...

Whew! When I read "Hot, hot, hot" then "Granny K's brother", I got a little worried! LOL

No advice on the sleeping thing, go with ANYTHING that makes it easier for you. E had a nighttime bottle/sippy cup until he was nearly 4, I just didn't have the time, energy or patience by bed time to try anything else at all and just wanted him asleep as quickly as possible.

I know it tough now, but later on you'll be so glad that you had the kiddies all so close together! I wish I had done it that way.

gaijin wife said...

L - I didn't get my period till I was 15 and I remember my mum giving me ten bucks to go and buy some munchies. Dad got told but there was no big family meal. Is sekihan the done thing here? That cracked me up. If it is the done thing then Marina's will be instant too - I would say Granny K will make it but I'm only putting up with her for another seven years and god forbid if Marina gets her period when she's nine.

Getting Shou tired out before bed is ultimately the best plan - and what we try and do on Sundays but at the moment with the three of them and just me...

Last night was good but due to only hour nap at kindy. It is definately more stressful when I have stuff I need to be doing - or English class starting at 8. Otherwise I do actually like it, but still, would rather it didn't take quite so long :)

Corinne said...

I don't know how you do it all! I can't imagine having more than one, one is crazy enough!
It must be so hard to juggle everything while hubby is working but it sounds like you're doing an amazing job!
I have no experience with 3 year olds either but I'll be crossing my fingers he starts to get to sleep easier as he gets older!

Chrysanthemum Mum said...

Sleep advice...tire them out, restrict daytime naps - though this doesn't always have the desired effect... My 3 yr old is easier to get to bed than my daughter at 16 months. Kids are all soooo different. Recently my daughter refuses to go to bed and tries to climb out of the bottom bunk, I get her up, read another book, check she's not thirsty etc....I guess she just wants a bit more time with mummy alone. She falls aleep on her own luckily and only needs minimal reassurance.

Is Shou on the top bunk? James can't climb down because I've hidden the ladders and this seems to work well. He looks at his books and plays with his cars - he has a night light on his bunk - and he usually falls aleep quite quickly. He gets tired easily and often asks to go to bed! He is still getting use to going to daycare I guess.

gaijin wife said...

Shou is on the bottom and the suitcases and whole lot of other shit are on the top!! He wakes up in the middle of the night and sometimes he really isn't even properly awake so am scared the top bunk not a safe idea. He has a new night light that is far too bright. Need to sort that out.

Can't really restict his naps as he is at kindy all day and still in the little kids class. Consideirng he usually gets up at five, no nap means he is hell on wheels come about five pm.

tonight wasn't too bad. We read a book and then I fell asleep so I guess he had no choice but to do the same!! Guess you need to tire him or mummy out at least!

Chrysanthemum Mum said...

Yeah, going to kindy has its downside, eh? My two still need a little nap after lunch and I'm told they sleep for about an hour. My friend's son does his nap at his hoikuen yet he never has a nap on the days he's at home. His mum hates the days he's come home after a nap as he won't go to bed at a decent hour.

Not sure what is best to get them to go to bed without a fuss. I remember having to fall asleep next to James as a way of getting him to go to sleep. For us the bunkbeds seemed to be a big turning point with the sleep issues we were having. Though am reluctant to leave the ladders lying around...