Friday, 3 July 2009

Cheesecake & Beer

Cheesecake & Beer ... that's what hub has waiting for him when he gets home - supposedly at half nine tonight. For no other reason than trying to get back to normal is worth the cost of a cheesecake and beer at least.

I woke up in a chipper mood because of planned outing. Don't think I roared at the kids once - which in turn was probably the reason Shou didn't nut out at kindy. He got a bit clingy but no tears and I didn't have to walk back to the car feeling like the worst mummy in the world.

Apart from kid related stuff the only thing hub said to me this morning was that he would be home late. A silent sigh and all I said was 'wakarimashita' (polite way of saying I understand). Before he left for work and while I was upstairs opening the curtains and things in the kids room I came across his phone. I know there are probably a lot of wives out there who wouldn't dare to check their husband's phones - well, I'm not one of them. I think hub's history justifies the odd check of the phone. He knows this though and therefore usually deletes everything before he gets home.

Hub was downstairs doing his hair - so I knew I had a good ten minutes at least :) I check his emails and find one from the previous morning. It is pretty tame - asking about whether or not he has tried such and such a place for their office delivery lunch menu. It is obviously written by a female and has a sprinkling of smiley faces and the likes. All fine fine, but the subject line had no words - just a big fat pink pumping (one of those moving pictures) heart.

On the way in the car on our shopping date I showed this email (I forwarded it to my phone from hub's and then erased all evidence that had done so. My god, the things that force us to be sneaky bitchy nagging wives) to my friend. We agreed that an email about lunch doesn't warrant a big fat pumping pink heart. Hub's reply was still in the phone too and it was a bog standard reply with no insinuating hearts or the like, but then he is a bloke. It still had other moving pictures which implies that he spent a lot longer typing in that friggen email to her than he has typing one to me for a long time.

The current state of non-peace in our household at the moment means I am unable to broach this with hub as am pretty sure it would make matters a lot worse - meaning he would turn it all around, which could well be justifiable as at the moment I am thinking far too much into a lot of things. Post natal husbands a dickhead blues perhaps!! Top that with the cuddle rejection and not a happy wife do you have.

When he's not around though I am fine and today friend and I had a great day. I obviously wasn't quite with the project though as have realised bought an ice cube maker that makes ice cubes in shape of ducks.

Also bought some shorts for Marina that say I love papa (hmmmm), some PJs for her, a raincoat with superheros on it for Shou, some earrings for me, lots of stickers and goodies for English class, and a work shirt for hub, which he can choose to wear inside out if he pleases.

I have decided to ask hub to go for sushi tomorrow and if he says no then bugger him Ryu and I will go somewhere - perhaps to get his passport photo taken...

Just joking, not quite at that stage yet. Not even close in fact. I'm a pretty tough cookie and it will take more than a fat pink pumping fuckin heart to wear me thin. Actually, if it's a case of wearing me thin then perhaps I should get her to send a few to me too - maybe I could lose a kilo a heart.

There must be women the world over who feel like this after giving birth. We must be at our most vulnerable - but also in our most 'must protect self and sproglets' mode. Men must go through a patch of feeling unloved for all the lack of shagging going on - which is afteral their way of expressing their lova loving. What a lot of them don't get is that a few more well timed hugs and words of endearment to their suffering wives who have just spent nine months getting fat before pushing big head out small hole and then still remaining fat, would work a lot more in their favor - as in maybe wife would be likely to get back on the wagon a bit faster if there were a few more cuddles.

On a completely different not - Marina is now a natto (barf beans) fan and when you eat them you have to kind of move the fork round and round to get the strands of natto off or they get all over everything. She does the round and round move when she eats everything. Is very cute.

On the cute baby front - I swear he is smiling already and by god I think he tried to stand up this morning ;p He slept the whole way to Beppu (one and a half hours) and for 90% of the shopping trip and then the whole way back again. This does not bode well for a night of sleep for either of us.

I best enjoy the peace while I can.


And thankyou for all the words of encouragement. I am coping well in the face of impending disaster - which really is just a post-natal woman with an over-active imagination living in a foreign land where the rules of life are just a bit different.

9:05. Hub has twenty five minutes to get home before I scoff the cheesecake and drink the beer.


anchan said...

Here's hoping that all goes well for you tomorrow, that he realises that he's been a complete prat and needs to show his wonderful, baby-birthing wife deserves a real show of affection to make up for the last few weeks!

Anonymous said...

Very funny post...and I admire your amazing strenth!! Hope he came home on time and I suppose you'll be monitori
g his phone for the next few weeks and playing it quiet.
Anyway email me re this DVD it's gold/choice kiwi stuff. It will be therapy for you too. I think tv had to take it off air because it was too discriminitve

thefukases said...

beer AND cheesecake? TOGETHER?? Hmmmm...

Give me your keitai number and I'll text you something exciting to leave around and be found. Do you want a Japanese 'friend' or a Western one? ;P

gaijin wife said...

Anon - you don't have a profile so I can't access any information about you but please email me at

Heather - I thought about making email account and sending mails to self under pen name - perhaps Taro, or gaijinwiferocks-san.

Anonymous said...

re DVD

Lulu said...

I would of flipped- but I am a bit "manic" like that.

Hope you guys can sit down over beer and cheesecake and sort it out (seriously he will eat them together?) and as anchan said that he realizes he is a prat and needs to show you that he is there for you!

Sara said...

Ohh... I once strayed down the path of evil aka reading my exs phone mails.

Cheesecake and beer sounds good minus the beer. I would die for some New York Style nama-cheesecake. Maybe I will make some in rememberence of all post-partum GaijinWives living in rural Oita :)

I honestly think you are so strong!! You've obviously seen how I react to any little things like this huge lengthy JHS rated emotional blogs... but you seem to keep your sense of humor and wits about you. I really admire that. I am so so so hoping this all just passes over. It seems ridiculous you aren't getting the emotional support that you obviously NEED after having a baby. Stupid hubs. I'll send you a "hot" mail if you like as well. I can put a pumping heart, a winky face, and a musical note!!

Hang in there!! We are rooting for you!!!

Anonymous said...

You got him a peace offering of cheesecake and beer? Kudos to you for being the bigger person and trying to end the craziness

Now about that text.. I don't blame you for being nervous about it. I'd be going nuts! But hopefully it's just a case of Japanese girls being super girly and into all their frills and cuteness and pumping hearts. Or maybe she just really loves their office's lunch menu.

Anyways, good luck. I hope he showed up when he was supposed to, ate the cheesecake, drank the beer, appreciated it, got over weirdness, and is being a good husband and daddy again (...assuming he was once a good husband and daddy...)

Brenda said...

Going through a bit of this now myself, minus the post-partum hormones and any desire to ONCE AGAIN be the grown-up who smoothes things over and makes things right!

Of course, with the dickhead half-way around the world, it's a quite a bit easier to cope, but I totally feel your pain, the week leading up to his departure was completely horrible and he left the country w/out some much as a look in my direction. *sigh*

And don't even get me started on the putrid, pink, pumping heart!

In my present state of marital un-bliss, I don't have any helpful advice, as my first inclination would be rat poison in the cheesecake ;P

Hope things work themselves out soon, I know it's torture living with all the tension and silence.