Thursday, 2 July 2009

Bloody Mongrel

I'm sorry, but that's the first thing to come to mind, along with dickhead, fuckwit, moron, wanker...

I come from a family of huggers. We hug a lot, but then in comparison to the standard Japanese family that probably wouldn't be hard. After how many days is it now? of living with a dickwad husband I thought bugger it, we need to sort this out and for me starting with a hug seemed a logical place to start.

I got turned down cold. It's not as if I asked him to stop on the way home from town to shag under some random bridge. Oh no sirey. Been there, done that, didn't get turned down either.

In six years of being together this has never happened before and as well as feeling upset I am also feeling a tad humiliated - and pissed off on the chance that he doesn't want to hug me because of the way I am after pushing out three babies in three years, the last of which was only three weeks ago. Needless to say I haven't got my six pack and perky breasts back quite yet. But hell, I'd need a time machine for that. Men should be even more sensitive to their wife's needs during pregnancy and after the birth. While I doubt that that is actually the reason behind it, as a woman it is still my prerogative to feel unloved and unwanted just because I got turned down for a hug. All I can say is thank bloody god I didn't put on a black lacy number and throw myself at him. God, as it happens getting into a black lacy number would require me to sew some lace onto the bottom of a pair of black trackpants.

This morning hub was about to get into his work shirt when I noticed his t-shirt (that he wears under his shirt) was on inside out. At the time uragaishi (inside out) didn't pop into my head so I said 'your t-shirts on inside out' in English. He grunted at me. As a nation full of grunters I have gotten used to the grunt -there are quite a few types in fact, but they are really all just a variation of 'n'. I am used to it and actually resort to grunting myself on occasion. But dammed if the first response I get in three days is a bloody grunt. So, I just said 'nandemonai wa' (it's nothing) and so hub put on his work shirt and went to work with the top of his inside out t-shirt poking out the top. Hope everybody noticed. But even if they did, it would probably be a reflection on his wife and her bad household management rather than him being a pleb who can't dress himself properly.

Ah well, can't live with em, can't live without em.

Or can I?

Enough of that talk, I was thinking about Saturday - and the one day we have time to do something together without the kids - well, with Ryu but without the tornado twosome. I was thinking there are three options.
1. suggest we go for sushi which is an hour away and therefore would force him into conversing with me.
2. give him his pocket money from my translation dosh and tell him to bugger off to pachinko for two hours.
3. give him Ryu while I bugger off for two hours.

His favorite would no doubt be the loot behind door number two. He has a neighborhood weedeating extravaganza first thing in the morning and then a drinking thing at night. I am not even going to comment on money or time for the drinking thing. He can go out and get as lashed as he wants - but god help him if it means he is too hungover to be of any use to anyone on Sunday.

In other news, one of my mummy friends (the lady who was going to drive me to the clinic if hub was at work - I really need to think up a better pen name for her. Is far too long) emailed me and asked if she could come and ask my advice on something. How intriguing. Thursdays are a bit crazy, especially as had two English classes to get ready for and had to bath Ryu - after completely forgetting to do it yesterday (how does that happen??), but still I had most of dinner sorted and the bath was run and English prep finished so I invited her round for coffee.

She isn't from Kunimi either, and while she isn't a foreigner she still seems to have problems with making good 'Kunimi' friends. We talked for a while and I really don't think I helped her problem much - and actually I think she just more wanted to get it off her chest rather than ask for a whole heap of advice. It is funny that her and solar panal man's wife are the two people in Kunimi I feel I can talk to freely - tell them all the shit thats going on. Feel privileged though blog readers because you definitely get IT ALL. Both of them are out of towners and both have the same first name. Freaky. Doo doo do do doo dooo do do (twilight zone??)

Anyway, the conversation led to one thing and an other and we are getting out of Kunimi - albeit just for the day tomorrow. We are off to Beppu with our babies. Leaving after we drop older kids off at kindy and doing some shopping, having some a lunchi, dorinkingu somma coffee, and no doubt having huge bitch fest about life in general. Hub doesn't know, and seeing as he wont even give me a bloody hug then it can stay that way. Her and I have also decided that we are going to go out for dinner one night this month without any children, and definitely without any husbands. This will mean asking husbands and grannies to help with the kids but hey, if they get to go out on the lash once or twice a month then god damn it, once every three years for us shouldn't be an issue.

Well, I think I have done enough ranting for this evening.

Hope you all had the good fortune to marry nice men.


PS - did I mention that while I was teaching my 8 to 9 English class hub was looking after Ryu who was nutting out. He gave him a bottle (which is fine) in a non steralized bottle and with Marina's formula mix - from nine months it says on the can. But, what can you do. Be thankful that all the kids are now asleep I guess - and I may even have another hour or so until bubs wakes up.


thefukases said...

Wow, I hope you just write about the dramatic bits of your life here and there's actually a lot of daisies and shampoo commercial and fabric softener type moments, too because you sure do seem to have more than your fair share of crap.

The grunt is my own personal pet peeve and I am working hard to stamp it out of Meg who is the spitting image of her jiichan sitting, elbows on the table, grunting at me. I DON'T think so!!

Had to laugh at the formula mixup- K fed Meg the e-mummy stuff once, she didn't produce any milk though so I'm not so sure the stuff works...;P

gaijin wife said...

As of late the dramatic bits outweigh the fabric softerner moments.Actually that's not fair, the hours between when hub and the older kids are gone and before the witching hours begin are fine. I definatley need me a big bunch of bloody daisies though.

Anonymous said...

Stubborn old buggar. At least you can give the kids some lovely squeezes and kissies.
I really want to send you my Mr Gormsby DVD. You'd LOVE it. I don't know how to. I am in Tokyo and have no idea how to locate your email.

kim said...

damnnn you are not having a fun week, are you?

Men.... What can you do?

At least you can get away for a bit tomorrow. I love Beppu but I'm all the way in the US so I'm jealous! Hopefully the babies behave themselves so you can have a good time!

illahee said...

your husband is a sulker? mine, too! *sigh* men

we are going to oita over the holiday weekend. do you think we might be able to visit? i'll e-mail you later on....

Sara said...

Come on GW hub - get over it.. is what I want to say. I think I'll have to go and read your backposts as I don't even remember what set him off.

Ryohei holds grudges as well though - not as long as your hub but I'll get over any thing pretty quickly but in his case I can count on hours to at least a day of sulky manchild behavior.


I think I know what you mean about being friends with "outsiders" not that I really have any friends HERE yet but I'm sure that when I do they will probably not be born and raised in the Niigata inakaians but Tokyo/Osaka/bigger city transplants who somehow wound up here like me.

Just find there is more in common that way!! I for one would LOVE to join you for a lunchi in Beppu one day tho!! Niigata has flights into Fukuoka... so maybe one day?!

I can dream I guess :) Feel better and enjoy your girl talk!! Oh and I recommend choice #1. Forced conversation is not fun but I've found feeding a man yummy stuff (like sushi) tends to work on the peace offering front.

Nay said...

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time at the moment... If I lived anywhere near you I would offer to take all 3 kids for the night so you could force your hubs into spending some quality time with you so you could get everything all worked out!!

Oh, grunting is a pet peeve of mine as well!! I hate when Naoki grunts at me. I always feel like telling him I am not an animal and I deserve at least a yes or no!!

Sending you a lot of 'hubs getting over it and making up with mother of his 3 children' vibes!!

Btw, with everything going on with you, you still offer to help me out with my resume etc!! You are an amazing woman, thank you:)

Chrysanthemum Mum said...

I had some advice today from a friend who suggested I wrote my hub a letter to let him understand how I am feeling about how we raise our children and our family life in general. Set aside time to talk to each other once the kids have gone to bed. Give him a time to digest the content and think about what needs to be said. It may prevent more things being said in the heat of the moment. It will be time-consuming for me - am very slow at writing letters in Japanese. I may do mine in an email!

anchan said...

Your husband likes to live dangerously, doesn't he?! Blimey, I'd be tempted to take him up on the offer of pi**ing back to NZ... How dare he!! Regarding Saturday, I'm afraid I would go with option 3, but if you really want to make up with him then yeah, option 1 should see you straight. Big hugs xxx