Saturday, 20 June 2009

Suck me in

Suck me in... literally. Today was the first day in my suck-my-three-children-tummy in pants. Admittedly I did buy a fantastic velcro bonanza contraption that was meant to get my pelvic bone (??) back to normal. The packet tells you to put it on almost as soon as you have popped the baby out. Rightio then. I had zilch energy left that day and trying to figure out the various velcro bits and criss-crossing over self would have been beyond me. I did try it on on perhaps day three but had to keep taking it off to pee and was complete pain in ass so I gave up.

A friend had told me that after her third child she lost all her preggy weight but could never fit back into her jeans because of her newly expanded, wouldn't shrink back, bones. Not too keen on having bones that won't shrink back and while I don't consider self vain I don't wont to have to buy a complete new wardrobe to accommodate vast expansive bones - and if the truth be known ass, thighs and tummy.

So, today I wore some standard tummy sucker pants - bought in NZ. For the first hour or so it actually felt nice to be so 'tucked in' to myself. Later in the day I was so engrossed in the NZ chippies, cadburies choccy and 'Outrageous Fortune'(love it) DVD my friend in NZ had sent that I forgot about having them on. By the end of the day though the kids were wearing me thin (actually that would be great being worn thin - if only it was that easy) and I realised that in fact magic undies had rolled down tummy and I was now just about cutting self in half and having a bit of trouble breathing. Getting them off was a relief as was putting on hugely baggy PJs that allow tummy ample roomage for breathing and other daily activities - like expanding for the likes of chips and chocolate.

Hub had work today but came back at about two saying that he had been asked by about five people how to pronounce Ryu's name. I am wondering if perhaps we shouldn't have stuck with the 'dragon' kanji. Personally I like that better but not enough to put up a fight with hub who was all for the more exotic, nobody can read, kanji. He looked it up and said it meant

a cool breeze....

a fresh wind.

Granny K thinks it may also mean a small tornado!

So holy bloody shit, it seems that Ryu may be starting out his life on the wrong foot but never mind, by the time he is Shou's age he will most probably be acting like this anyway, taking after his brother and sister. Actually, Shou more like raging fuckin hurricane most days but what can you do? When does the terrible twos go away? He is officially three already. I have a terrible feeling the terrible twos lasts until males are about 18 - and that the selective hearing that Shou seems to have already mastered stays with them for ever.

Ryu and I went on our first outing yesterday - to the supermarket for cheese, bread and milk... the staples. I was actually 'nervous' at what crap would be thrown my way for taking a 12 day old baby out of the confines of the house. I even put socks on the wee man for fear of some silly woman telling me his feet would be too cold, no doubt leading to serious problems later in life, perhaps the reason behind bad grades at school, drinking too much or getting divorced.

It would happen that we hit the supermarket at the slowest time of day and only the meat counter lady and the cashier made comments - the first asked me whether Ryu looked like Shou or Marina. When I said I didn't think he looked like either of them really she looked at me as if was skanky hoe who had then obviously shagged someone else - what other reason would you have for having a third child that didn't look like either of his siblings?? The cash register lady just made comment that must be nice to finally have him out and my body back to myself.
At the post office on the way home the sixty year old postman asked me if the milk had come in. All righty then.

Yes it has Mr. postman, thank you for taking such an avid interest in my breasts and their milk supply. In Japan it seems that booby supply questions are very common and second only to questions about names or birth weight.

After hub arrived home this arvo I took a break from my arduous Saturday schedule to go and get some juice from down the road. This is the conversation we had as I was leaving...

Me: just taking your car to go get some juice (he was washing my car at time :) )
Hub: OK, what about beer (biiru - or at least that's what I heard)
Me: There's a couple in the fridge, do you want more?
Hub: The fridge?

Realised that he had asked after Ryu and not Biiru (ree-you and not beer-ru)

Poor wee mite - not even two weeks old and he is getting mistaken for beer.

After came back from juice outing I got hub to fire up the weedeater so I could slash and burn the front lawn - first cut this summer!! Hub thought we should wait a few more weeks until it was long all over. As it was though half of it was nearly 10 cm already. Very good and satisfying height to weed eat away at. Hub made some comment about it being good exercise for my waist line.

Nearly had to slash and burn him. What man in their right mind makes a comment like that to his lovely wife who less than two weeks earlier spent eleven hours pushing a big head out a small hole after 40 weeks of nurturing the new life in her womb - which of course means substituting any muscle for fat storage so bunster has nice wobbly warm home?? Do they not think at all?

Well, am rambling shite now. Best get to bed.



illahee said...

your man better watch out, what a mouth on him! lol

sounds like you're getting into the swing of things. nosy postmen excluded...

thefukases said...

he he. My hospital had us all in the velcro belts for the first few days and it was nice and supportive as long as I didn't move *at all* or eat anything or need to pee. Needless to say I didn't last long in it...

Meg's been going to the same kinder for three years and the encho-sensei still mucks her name up but I figure she'll be loving it when direct sales people ask for Moe Fukase- gotcha!

Sara said...

I haven't yet learned the way of the velcro belt... it will be weird not to have (currently) apprx 3 kilos of tumor like flesh poking out.. I forgot it was like to have a flat tummy... don't worry I am sure I will never know it again.

Oh GW's hub... when will you ever learn?! He's going to need a spider army if he wants to have IR meetings anytime with that sort of talk.

Ryohei told me today... "don't worry you will be cute again [after you give birth and loose oh... 30 kilos or so]"


Sweet Dreams GW household! And watch out for the milk supply concerned postman :P