Sunday, 31 May 2009

A June Baby!

I am typing this from Jo's house. After a very unproductive day in terms of getting the bunster out the doctor said, at 5pm that I could go home. Why we couldn't have reached this conclusion at lunch time I don't know.

I have had four internals, three drips of penicillin (the joys of being GBS positive) and four baby monitor rounds lasting forty minutes each. I am still 4cm and am still having contractions but nothing seems to be amping up. I THINK I had 'the show' but am not entirely sure as never seen before. Apparently though this could still mean I go round for the next two weeks with no action!!

I was SURE today would be the day. And it is such an anticlimax thinking that it could just be the bunster 'warming up' for the real thing. The day started out so promising with strong contractions which fortunately were still going when I arrived at the hospital - so the nurses don't think I am a complete winner.

When the doctor said I could go home I had just had a call from Jo offering a place to stay instead of going all the way home. There was also an offer of roast chicken and a nice bed in their cottage - which will mean a better sleep than at home. It sounds like hub had a bit of a rough day with the kids not listening to him but we have agreed that better to be closer to hospital tonight. When Jo had her son I think they got to the hospital in eleven minutes. This is good. The nurses think that when it starts getting serious that it will progress fast - but then what do they know! The midwife at nine this morning said things were progressing and that I probably wouldn't need my second drip - and I had two more (at four hour intervals) after that!!

So, thank you for all the comments and advice :) I couldn't find a skipping rope or a swing on the clinic premises, but did resort to stair climbing for forty five minutes!! Must have looked like Barney (and I mean the purple monster this time) to the people coming to visit the babies - in my purple not maternity but very stretchy uniqlo dress. And I don't mean violent purple like Granny K's jumper yesterday! That was priceless.

If things don't pick up by tomorrow morning Jo is going to drop me home. I am still optimistic that things will get going tonight - Jo has me writing times down and have a definite ten minute thing going on.

Fingers crossed.

Sorry for getting your hopes up - I definitely got mine up!!

Time for a cuppa and an early night - if I can sleep.



Its not dedication it is nothing else to do blogging! Hub has just gone home. Doc wont let me go because 4cm and kunimi too far away. He does seem to think it will come out this month though. I have instructions to walk the corridors once this round of monitoring has finished.


Still here but things calmed down. Things not progressing. Not impressed bunster. Sort your shit out and get on that slide.


Internal exams are underrated. Looks like it did the trick. Says me, attached to baby monitor in labor and delivery room. Five minute contractions. Next post... pic of the bunster...

Saturday, 30 May 2009

New Talent

At one of the three ATMs we stopped at during our outing today I got told by the ATM girlie voice to

'gamen no ue ni mono o okanaidekudasai'
Please do not put anything on the screen.

That would be the bunster I believe. I had to take a step backwards.

After dropping the sproglets off at kindy hub and I went to the clinic where today, without even having to ask, I was to be getting the full works. It would take about an hour so hub left to go and get the puncture in the tyre fixed and fill the family wagon up with gas.

Despite being quite busting by the time I got to the clinic I was unable to pee into the cup. Obviously the bigger your tummy gets the harder it actually gets to hold the cup in pee inable position but that didn't seem to be the problem. I would stand up, do a little jig, sit back down and nope - tried to think of gushing waterfalls and nada, zip. Not a coming. Of course as soon as I had paid and was heading out the door to the carpark I was able to go - in the toilet they have for non pregnant women, the one without the cups and the blue marker pens.

Got the lady doctor today. The bunster is fine and I have progressed from 1cm to 2cm. At this rate the bunster will be born in another four months at approximately 6kg. The ultrasound measurements show that the bunster has hub's legs - short, and my head - very large. Always good for balance and learning to sit up and walking. Kaplonk, head first onto the floor again.

After the clinic we bypassed a homecentre to get the last set of blackout curtains for Marina's room and then headed to Best Denki - one of the major electrical appliance stores. It wasn't Yamada - the one we were going to go to but it was closer. After looking very intently at washing machines for close to ten minutes I got fed up. Not one person came to ask us if we needed help - Hub reckons probably too scared as he quite often gets mistaken for Korean (well, mainly on the Air Korean flights when he goes hell for leather scoffing back his babimba) so shop assistant probably thought two foreigners - which would obviously mean one of us knows someone from Mexico and that we do in fact breed flu infected swine.

So we stomped out of there and headed to Yamada - where within approximately one and a half minutes of looking at the washers, a lovely young chap comes over and answers all our pedantic questions about kiddy locks, night cycles, energy savings rah rah, and comes out the other end having sold another Panasonic heat pump front loading washing machine. Was slightly cheaper than budget despite having to pay an extra 3000 yen for delivery to middle of nowhere. Kunimi is the cut off line for delivery from their shop so is getting delivered from Oita and they are fully booked with deliveries until June 8. He did try though when I said I really wanted it before the baby was born - but to no avail. Got to draw the line somewhere I guess.

On the way home we were driving along - nearly in Kunimi - when old woman on side of road starts flapping her arms at us. Turns out was granny K - without her teeth. All gums and flapping arms, in violent purple sweater. She had been having lunch and bit down on some pickles when her dentures broke. She got the 83 year old deaf lady from next door to drive her to the next town to the dentists where upon arriving, she promptly sent the lady home without even waiting to see whether teeth could be fixed and/if how long it would take. When dentist told her would take an hour and a half she therefore had no ride home. She was planning on passing the time comparing spring onion prices at the supermarket. Pure luck we were passing.

As soon as she got in the car she promptly told hub that they had to go and do something in the rice paddie at 3pm - after he had brought her back to pick up her teeth. There goes hub's long awaited nap. We arrived home to two boxes of JA fruit juice on the doorstep with an invoice. In other words - we didn't ask you if you would buy these but we are forcing them on you and will take the money out of your account as usual. Thanks very much.

Hub made the mistake of saying how rude it was and Granny K went off on spiel about how she pays for everything so why was he the one complaining. Hub laughed and said bollocks mummy dearest, you pay for the JA stuff, the newspaper and now the juice. Granny K said - well that's a lot and hub said not considering you don't pay for any house stuff. With her pension she is defiantly the richest out of all of us. But then I guess she does have misc expenses like getting her teeth replaced.

The kids are now in bed and I am in for a foot rub me thinks.


Oooh - hub asked about setting up his own blog today - I said was great idea as excellent form of stress release. Bloody scary though. Christ, if he writes the kind of shite I write about him and his mum I am in trouble.... :)

Friday, 29 May 2009


What a lazy day - in between morning and evening chaos of course!

Another early five am start :(
That I only managed with the thought that come 9am and I was going back to bed. Which I did - kids off at kindy, hub to work, minimal minimal amount of housey stuff done and the bunster and I took out sorry selves back to bed. Don't tell anyone, especially the lazy pregnant women police, but we stayed there until before lunch!! Unprecdented behavior in light of fact was not due to being hungover.

Afternoon... hmmmm, trip to bank, wee visit with friend, phonecall to bank in NZ to FINALLY transfer money for sisters and brothers business (yay, tick tick tick) and then a bit of Cold Case followed by dinner making and then the kiddy thing.

Very very boring day but am feeling almost refreshed and almost up for a night of hee hee huu huu haa haa. The walk I did at lunch time probably not marathon pace enough to have had much effect though and while tum is definately getting ready I don't think tonight is the night. Have clinic visit tomorrow though - and am presuming (almost hoping) that get internal as didn't have one last week. The first woman in the history of pregnant women to actually request an internal exam - but I heard they can hurry things along a bit. I am also interested to know if things have progressed further than the 1cm they were at two weeks ago.

Clinic visit to be followed by washing machine purchase and date lunch with hub. Hmmmm, could be the last super. What to do.

Well, best get some more washing machine research done. Hub home in an hour or so.

Nighty night.


Thursday, 28 May 2009


I saved a draft post yesterday but it didn't get posted for one reason or an other and now it is almost obsolete so will start again - in valiant effort to procrstinate from hanging out the washing.

It was Granny A's birthday yesterday. Happy Birthday Mum! We rang first thing in the morning but got the answer phone - into which Shou did stella rendition of happy birthday to ganny. Spoke to sister and she said mum was on jury duty all week - AGAIN. She seems to get picked quite often, but didn't seem too put out this time as while the crime had the potential for blood and guts there wasn't any.

She rang here at eleven pm NZ time - after getting back from dinner with dad and no doubt several / quite a few large glasses / buckets of wine. Talking to a squiffed person can be quite annoying unless both parties are of course equally squiffed in which case can be quite entertaining, albeit complete pile of bollocksy nonsense. Anyway, last night had surprisingly good conversation during which I didn't hear the word Fiji once - although she did say that we would not talk about that tropical island the whole family is holidaying at next year for belated 60th birthday celebrations. So we didn't.

Instead she told me quite amusing story about how the other jurors found out it was her birthday yesterday, therefore meaning she was cornered into bringing in birthday cake for self to share with everyone. She bought a cake. And, she brought a knife in her handbag - to cut the cake...

She got stopped going through security.

As you would with a whopping knife in your handbag at a gang member related court case.

Fortunately, if you were in possession of a cake and a knife and looked like an innocent 60 year old woman the guards let you through. Doubt very much hairy man with tatooes on face and leather bikey jacket would have same luck!

Anyhoo, the fire engine birthday card just happened to arrive yesterday and I had to apologise as other half still stuck in lamipacker getting fixed at the shop in town. Also, said small something on way via internet shopping. She is at Jury duty all day today and prezzie should be arriving today so can probably spill beans - ordered some ceramic tile coasters with the pic of Shou and Marina laughing her head off printed on them. Set of four or five come with very cool wooden stand. I can't remember using coasters at home so whether that is because we never had any or mum just keeps stashing them in the drawer and not bothering to use them I'm not sure.

Anyway, to the title of the post. The bunster and his southward venture is causing a lot of 'heat' and pressure in that particular area. Body trying to remind me little by little of what birth is like. Absolutely boggles mind that one could forget the pain. I made mistake of saying to hub...

me: asoko atsukunattekita na (literally - it's started getting hot down there)
hub: shitaitte koto (want a shag then?)
me: anna atsukunattekitajyanainn da (not that kind of hot)
hub: ara, zannenn (Oh, what a shame)

Poor hub, has been left out in the cold the past few weeks. Not through lack of effort on his part but. Is almost like he has sign round neck constantly that says 'fiddle with freely'. Unfortunately his gaijin wife can't even find effort to have a fiddle and has to tell him that a bit of self maintenance is really his only saviour for the next while until the bunster is out and she is ready to get back on the waggon. God help him if he tries to get leg over before I can walk properly.

Today, being Thursday is English class bonanza day. Fortunately no primary school class so chaos begins at half three and not half two. I have I think persuaded hub to come home straight after work as big tummy means everything ten times harder than usual and mummy meltdown gauge running at max. He asked me to please ring him at work at five pm so then he can answer phone in front of office and pretend like I am in much pain and he needs to go home. Oh well, I will do it anyway even though I think he should be a man and fess up that really he has to go home early once every four weeks to help exploding tummy wife before she sends the kids, the mother in law, the English students and self all to different rooms for time out. And I do believe that would be the good version of that scenario.

Well, time for nap. Have been awake since three since alarm clock in English teaching room mysteriously went off. Was in such deep slumber it took about ten minutes to register.


Tuesday, 26 May 2009

We have floor

We have floor... in Marina's room again. It has taken A LONG time. After a nap this morning and running a few errands in town, including trip to the rice dehusking ATM machine, I came home and finally finished sorting the kids clothes. All the baby clothes (for a year) and kiddy clothes until Spring next year have homes and all Summer 2010 clothes for all three kids have been sorted and put into one of these zip up plastic bags that you suck the air out of with a vacuum cleaner.

I got the baby bath out of storage and at the moment it has some stuff in it on the floor beside me - waiting for me to find homes for some random things from Marina's room that needed homes to be found for. Really need to do that now - and then the list that I was meant to do last night. Maybe that's what the bunster is waiting for - me to be a bit more organized. So that at least he will get a bath the day he gets home and Granny K will have a list to follow in keeping his older sister and brother in one piece for the week mummy is in the clinic chucking back pina coladas and dancing to abba in her PJs for the whole week - in between a bit of breast feeding and the likes!

Shou and Marina came home from kindy with a letter about influenza in their bags yesterday. I now have two influenza check charts on the fridge with a letter to ask parents to please take their child's temperature EVERY morning before kindy - and check whether they have snotty nose, cough, the shits, shivering, throwing up, ....
There is also a place for the parent to sign after doing this every day - it was this that caught me by surprise and made me re-read the thing about ten times to make sure it didn't say I had to send this list back to kindy every morning. Why else would the parent need to sign it... ???

So that the two year old can't forge his own temperature and symptoms??

I inquired into the letter today and apparently the teachers are still taking the kids temperatures before morning tea every day - as per usual.

What an absolute waste of time. OK to a letter about hand washing and gargling and putting your hand over your mouth when you cough - something I find Japanese people aren't that good at, but taking temperatures every morning - when an hour and a half later the teachers are just going to take it again anyway!!

Anyway, I took their temperatures this morning and I guess I will continue doing it for the time being just in case the swine flu police come knocking at my door, in which case I will tie them to a chair with my over purchased amount of masks and gargle & alcohol wipe them to death.

Oink bloody Oink

Right, better do a bit of sorting and a bit of list writing.


PS - tomorrow is my mum's birthday but the bunster isn't looking like making a grand appearance. But you never know, a few squats and stair climbing before bed...

Monday, 25 May 2009

Bunster in the Oven

Despite going to bed not in the bestest of moods last night I actually managed to get a good six hours of uninterrupted sleep before Marina started reciting something to herself at half four this morning. Downstairs at five with both of them and still wondering what hub would come out with when he arrived on the scene.

He came down just after six and after about half an hour of realising that I wasn't talking to him he tried to corner me into a cuddle and an apology. I resisted the first one. Can't give in too easily afterall, but relented and accepted apology and cuddle second time round.

We decided, or rather I decided and he agreed on - for lack of any other option in the face of an upset pregnant foreign wife...

Remember the secret slush fund account that I made him pay off? Well, he did but the account was kept open because money for our electricity and phone bills gets paid from his salary into that account every month. Why? Have no idea but something to do with the credit card company giving a rah rah percent discount if paid this way. Anyhoo, there is usually a bit left over every month and I decided (and this was kind of discussed at time slush fund account got discovered and shit hit the fan) that he will get an extra 5000 yen a month (total almost 10,000 month) for misc expenses - not including, ever to be found out about, pachinko. So, the office trip away money can go from there (he's still not going but) as can random occasions when he feels it would be in the best interests of world peace for him to buy his lovely wife some flowers, wine, trips to Guam etc.

This account is NEVER to get into debt again and I expect to be shown a balance slip once a month. So, we will see how this system works for the time being.

He also apologised for the way in which the conversation turned into what it did last night. Despite all my sleep I still managed to pull the teary crying woman thing and got full sympathy. I don't cry (in front of him) very often. In front of a seriously good chick flick, good read or whatever is different but :)

Like this afternoon - with Private Practice with Addison off Grays Anatomy. Today's episode hit home and I lost it a bit. And I'm not talking about the wild sex on the office table. I doubt very much my fat ass would fit on hub's pathetic town office excuse for a desk.

But, I digress.

Today's episode had three babies being delivered and there was some almost believable screams of pain in there. Shit, bugger bugger fuck. I had almost convinced self third baby wouldn't touch the sides and therefore no pain.

Speaking of third babies...

Taken yesterday - and please no what a cute bump you have comments or anything along those lines. Is big pain in ass that gets in way of everything. I even unknowingly can turn the IH oventop on with it. If only it had some practical uses - like making the man on the till at the supermarket pack my shopping for me like all the nice ladies do!

Hub just mailed to say is on way home. Best yaku (fry) his hamburg steak for him and whatsit some daikon (raddish) to go with the ponzu. Feet are tingly again - despite afternoon nap - so at least he is getting home at a decent enough time tonite.

Thank you for all the comments. As per usual I am too lazy to make individual comments but rest assured they all helped me through the day - is nice to know other wives married to silly Japanese men out there feel same way and have had similar moments. I thought briefly about phoning my mum this morning but even if she had said exactly what I wanted to hear she still would have not been able to finish without a 'but it was your choice' kind of statement. How profound. I find that while my family may know 'me' better it is hard to give good advice about cultural things they don't know about - especially as in total (whole family) have only been to visit 35 days combined in the twelve years I have lived here.

Not complaining, not complaining.

Well, not really anyway.


Sunday, 24 May 2009


Gay fire engine post below.

What a bummer that such a nice family day had to end on this. And I still get thrown sideways sometimes at how one comment can lead to what it leads to. I also get extremely frustrated that I can be good enough to get paid for my Japanese language skills and yet can't bring out exactly what I want during the heat of the moment sometimes. And I don't mean that kind of heat - defianately none of that happening.

Hub: have you got any cash. I need 2000 yen (forty dollars) for the tax department annual holiday account.
Me: do you need it tomorrow?
Hub: I think so.
Me: did it not occur to you to ask me before ten pm on a Sunday night?
Hub: You should always have a bit of cash on hand.
Me: can you get it taken out of your pay each month?

rah rah rah rah bollocksy bollocksy

me: will you get it back if you can't go.
hub: why don't you want me to go? don't you understand my 'position' at work?
me: Of course I understand (you've just been on a 3 day conference because of your 'position' - a conference with workshops like 'mental health') but I don't think it should mean you have to spend two days with the people you see every day waiting in line for rides at universal studios while your wife and three small children are at home.
hub: it's really a money thing though isn't it.
me: it is more of an 'it's not fuckin fair' thing. that's what it is.
hub: why don't you go away too then.

NOTE - should have stopped conversation there with an 'OK then will book a weekend in Guam. Thanks very much'

me: It's not the same because if I went and left you with the kids for the weekend you would get GK to help you with everything (petty I know)
hub: of course I would. You should get her to help you more.

rah rah bollocksy bollocksy

Me trying to be very restrained because didn't want to turn conversation into argument about what Granny K thinks is appropriate child rearing behaviour. Although I did say that I do ask her if I am stuck - like for the hospital visit yesterday. But that if she was a part of our daily routine and something happened under her watch then I would not be able to forgive either her or me and seeing as this is my house she would have to leave. Therefore, in order to prevent such an occurrance I am doing my best to not have to rely on her for things - especially when I deem them as things that parents, if they are at home, should be doing.

rah rah bollocksy bollocksy

hub: why didn't you think about this kind of thing before you married a Japanese man. After three years on JET you must have known that it's always the blokes that are out - while the wives are at home.
me: Yes, when I was 22 and out on the piss a lot with the office I did find it a bit unsettling that it was always the men and the wives never got invited - or by the sounds of it didn't seemed to protest. However, at 22, it didn't occur to me to put that into play into my future marriage to you scenario.
hub: well, this is Japan (and here I was thinking I lived in dubai), and you need to accept japanese work place practices more.
me: well, this is an international household and you need to accept that your wife doesn't think two days away with your office is acceptable.
hub: it's not like I want to go...
me: then don't bloody go. I would be more inclined to go with the flow if you acted like a bloody five year old on Christmas eve - ooohh, can't wait to go to universal studios (am just using past example here - feel free to insert Shanghai or Korea in there) A few drinking things a year (more than a few) I am starting to get my head round.

hub: (as he goes to clean his teeth) It's always about you.

I know, afterwards - too late, that I should have just said sorry I don't have the cash in my wallet. Is Tuesday OK? - and then broached the subject of actually going on the damn trip when it came up.

I guess you live and learn.

Weekend away to Guam anyone?

Oh and, per hubs request, wives in similar situations - do you protest to your husband doing the 'mandatory' more than just a night on the piss work things? I'm sure in a few years when the kids aren't so demanding that I will be more inclined to think 'yes! a whole weekend away - just me and the kids at home.' but not yet.
Hub seems to think I am the most 'wagamama' (selfish - self-centered) wife in Japan. Maybe, if I was at home alone without kids and still demanded he not go I would be leaning towards that category, but christ, three kids under four it will be. I am more inclined to think he is being 'wagamama'.

Sigh, bloody big huge sigh. Hope the bunster doesn't decide tonite is the night. I think I need to be in a better mind set to push this sucker out. That and hub and I would probably argue the whole way to the hospital which may well mean fast labour and giving birth in paddie field. Not ideal birth plan.

Nee Naw Nee Naw

Appologies for size of pic - was on phone and trying to make it bigger just made it fuzzy.

The photo does it more justice. It was a lot more pink in real life despite using two packets of red food coloring. I made the sponge last night and cut the shape out - cut as little as possible though. Only space for wheels and windscreen and ladder. Nothing too complicated as pregnant women shouldn't be given complicated projects, and perhaps I should have stuck with anpanman.

Hub saw it half way through when it was just a bright pink sponge. He made the mistake of saying 'wake wakaran koto nattann jyannai' (can't tell what it is). Ooohhhooo.Silly man. Of course he knew as soon as the words left his lips that he shouldn't have said them - laughing as I kicked him out of the kitchen.

Had wee cleaning frenzy in morning while hub occuppied the devil child. The house was as respectable as can be with two toddlers. His friend from kindy, his two brothers and mum and dad turned up. The parents are my age and I worked with the dad for three years on JET. The dad is always amazed at 'how much' hub does. I don't know why I get deffensive as I am sure the wives know that it isn't hub cleaning the inside of the house and making cakes, but for some reason the dad makes it sound like hub is doing everything while I sit on my big pregnant ass. Which, fair enough, I was when hub was washing the cake plates but still. Humph. Bloody men.

When I was cleaning the inside of the house this morning hub was doing his 'genkan' and window cleaning bonanza followed by cleaning the inside of Shou's winter kindy shoes with an old toothbrush. Not making that up either. Was ridiculous. Here I am trying to ice a cake with a two year old and a one year old hanging off each leg and hub thinks that now is the exact time he just has to find an old toothbrush to clean shoes. Rightio then.

Anyway, gay fire engine cake was hit with the boys - and the two mummies who both order cakes for fifty dollars a pop and have to drive an hour each way to pick them up. This makes me think gay fire engines are worth it. Besides, if you start with one awesome super duper store bought cake with professional artist impressions of the masked rider on it then there is just no turning back. Nothing home made after that will cut it.

It actually tasted OK too - although taste was secondary to looks when was making it. It had cream and strawberries in the middle just so the Japanese people wouldn't feel completely left out. Shou sang happy birthday to himself (happy birthday to shou-kun) very loudly and blew out his three candles.

The festivities broke up just before lunch and surprisingly enough, despite the no doubt sugar rush both Shou and Marina had, they both slept for two hours - as did hub and I. Got up and went to the beach to get Shou's crabs some more water and sand and have a go down the rolly slide - me too. Trying to get bunster used to whole 'slide' idea. Also thought a bit of bumpty bump wouldn't hurt the cause. Hub thinks if I am starting a 'move round a lot so the baby will come out' regime that I should clean the bathroom tomorrow. Not too keen on that though and may have to suggest a 'meeting' instead - that's meant to hurry things up in the last few weeks isn't it? Will need to spend next few hours mustering up enough enthusiasm though.

The kids are in bed and my feet are puffy enough to warrent a good massage. They start getting a bit tingly at the end of a busy day.


PS - I have taken a tummy picture that I may get around to posting - or otherwise will have to be a before and after. And by that I mean the bunster - on the inside and then on the outside. Not picture of my post-birth belly. No need to be sharing that with you. Mainly as not much immediate bloody difference.

Saturday, 23 May 2009

37 weeks

and counting - definitely the home stretch now.

Had check up this morning. Took Shou with us and GK looked after Marina. Got to the clinic about ten to nine - checked in, did pee test, took blood pressure and was third in line to see doctor. Out the doors at nine twenty!! And here I was thinking I would have to have an internal and the stress test again. Just a scan though. The bunster is about 3300 grams and still ready to come out anytime. Had very low blood pressure - lowest has been in about three years but he didn't say anything and I didn't feel faint from lack of blood pumping through veins so guess OK.

The nurses tried to get me to get my boobs out to show me the boob massage technique - but I said very informative pamphlet with pictures on it was just fine and that could remember from last two times. I was in such state of shock when it happened with Shou that I actually got me boobs out - only to have nurse start massaging it - hand down like this, around like this, wipe on, wipe off. Now I am more inclined to keep my boobs to myself. With the amount of showing your bits off you do in Japan during prenatal visits I need to keep something under wraps - a bit of mystery.

We were finished so early that the supermarket wasn't even open so went to park for half an hour where hub somehow managed to get Shou on his first flying fox - albeit screaming half the way but in the end thinking he was pretty cool.

Did a 'nicer than usual' shop today in honor of hub getting almost double his take home pay this month - crazy amount of overtime pay, which is even sillier when you think they only get paid half time now and not on Wednesdays or the weekends. Is also pay from April 1st - and every night since then has been average of about ten or half ten so figured he deserved some very expensive Japanese beef for 'yakiniku' tonight, after the sprogs were in bed which amazingly happened by half seven.

Yum yum yum yum yum beef and now have all doors open to de-smell the room before Shou's birthday cake gathering tomorrow.

I had been stressing a bit about the whole fire engine cake thing but had finally got head round it and even spent bit of time this afternoon making accessories for it - ladder, wheels and hose seeing as forgot to get oreos for the wheels and Japan has useless selection of hose friendly lollies like licorice. I have asked Shou a zillion times in the last few weeks what kind of cake he wants in the hope that he will forgo the fire engine for a round sponge. But alas, he has stuck with fire engine the whole time - even after I told him could probably only make it a dark pink and not red. Doesn't care. Gay fire engine better than no fire engine.

Then tonight, I say but wouldn't you rather have anpanman (round) and he said 'yes'. Hope he forgets he said that as am making fire engine now whether he likes it or not.

Best be off so can cut the sponge ready to be iced tomorrow morning. A few friends arriving at ten - boy from kindy and his family and the little boy from up the road. Nothing too exciting planned as was always (still is) possibility would be in hospital. A few balloons, some cake, some jelly, some mahem, some chaos.


Friday, 22 May 2009


The bunster remains on the inside. I thought he was getting ready - moved down a bit, things slowing down, but then this morning as I was dropping the kids off at kindy one of the grannies said 'oh but you still haven't dropped'. And here I was thinking if he dropped any lower I'd be falling over him. Definitely a lot more uncomfortable doing a lot of things and I have had a wanting to clean frenzy the last few days. So you never know, he may come tonight, he may come on Granny A's birthday next Wednesday, or he may come out two weeks over cooked.

I finally finished the translation work and said probably shouldn't take on any more big projects as very high risk at moment. I got some more that night - Wednesday, but was editing and smaller loads so easier to sit down and do one file in one sitting. Was meant to get big chunk done yesterday morning but computer had complete spaz and didn't like file at all and ended up having to re-do everything three times taking me therefore shitloads longer than anticipated - crap as getting paid on time for that and can't exactly charge for bastard computer having spaz. Was going to start another file when realised it had loads missing and I would in effect be translating half of it. Contacted project manager and they have their own technical difficulties at the moment so things put on hold until sorted out.

Therefore, after crazy day swearing at computer, making primary school kids jump through hoops (well almost - we were doing numbers and they had to form groups in different numbers in the hoola hoops on the floor), plus three regular English classes, I now have today - a day of nothing pressing that needs doing. Although do have a lot of little things would like to be able to tick off list. Send pay it forward things, send birthday card to Granny - the making of which was bloody saga as the new laminator (called the 'lamipacker' which for some reason just sounds rude) I bought at local store on Wednesday started eating my laminator films on about the tenth page. No, Granny's birthday card is not ten page booklet is in fact just a fire engine card laminated - as per Shou request as to what Granny would most like.

But, I was laminating oversized dominoes - as you do. Made out of paper of course. Was not blond enough to try and laminate actual dominoes. God, if could find industrial size laminator good enough for that I could probably roll Granny K through it. Death by lamipacker!!

Am off back to shop today to get money back.

Also need to write wee list to stick on fridge - upcoming kindy things, exactly what the kids have to take with them everyday, instructions for GK on current kid schedules - nap times, milk for Marina rah rah. Will try and be very restrained and not write list of things they were allowed to eat - as did last time. Figure I have to show at least bit of gratitude for her part in helping look after the kids while am in hospital. Hub tried to have go at me for not talking to her about it yet. My come back was that I do the kid stuff on my own almost every day. The fact that he felt he needed help was his own choice and therefore he should be talking to her. All very petty I know and I will pull my head in an talk to her - even if it means forgetting until I go into labor and having to call her in between contractions.

Hub has apparently found some very auspicious characters for 'Riku' and coupled with the number of strokes for surname is going to have bestest most luckiest most auspiciousessesssess name in whole family, going back ten generations. I don't really mind what the characters are unless they are are cow and shit but as it happens the 'ri' is the same as the 'ri' in Marina and the 'ku' is tora - or tiger. Roar Roar. I am man.

So, I think Riku (Rick) will be his name. If he comes out looking like a George or an Andrew then we might have to have a few more discussions.

Well, I should try and get some things ticked off my Friday list - so then come nap time I can tick have nice long nap off list too.


Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Ouchy Ouchy

And no, not the contraction type - well not the bad contraction type anyway. We are still hanging out having loads of braxton Hicks and trying to find comfortable sleeping positions at night. The ouchy ouch is for my left thigh - if I didn't know better I would think it was from trying to get a leg over but unfortunately for hub there have been no such antics of late - especially as now am yeast infected pregnant woman with itchy tummy skin, sore back and tender boobs. Oh the joys.

Of course it could be from baby sliding down leg - as that is where Marina thinks baby is hiding of late. Every few days she will point to different wobbly bit and say 'baby?'. Sorry darling, if I had babies for every bit of wobbly bit you thought was housing a baby I would be being featured on 60 minutes.

As much as I wish, for hub's sake, that I could get through a whole week without blogging about his man brain - which means he walks round in oblivious household and kiddy haze - unfortunately I can't. His behavior is just gagging for me to share it with all of you.

Yesterday morning he came into kitchen with one of Marina's tops, one she wears A LOT, and said he just HAD TO cut the tag off. When I enquired as to why he said 'do you have to question everything I do?' (silly question - of course I do. That's why you got married isn't it sweetie, so you could be nagged by a constantly pregnant or breastfeeding hormonal foreign woman?)

Off comes the tag. choki choki choki. (need him to get used to sound of choki choki choki) Five minutes later I spot Marina looking very cute with her dress on over her t-shirt that is now tagless and on back to front - with three domes down the front and no doubt the left overs of the tag itching her neck. Hub comes in as I am taking her top off to turn it round and has a go at me for not liking the way he dresses his own daughter. Christ, will someone get this baby out so I can have a glass of wine at seven in the morning.

He goes strangely silent when I say top was on back to front and no bloody wonder he thought the tag needed to come off as would have been flapping in her face - which is usually sign to normal person that top is round the wrong way. I do worry about the week I will be in hospital with the bunster - not enough to want to only stay three nights though - which is an option if you have older kids at home. No bloody way nursey. If I'm paying the same price either way then I want the full five nights - more if possible. Nevermind if Marina ends up going to kindy with all her clothes on inside out and back to front.

Had some kiwi friends come over yesterday for lunch - and when I say for lunch, I mean they brought with them everything. Pasta (but only cause can't spell canaloni ??), bread, muffins, chocolate, flowers, English magazines... Talk about spoilt. It would appear that magazines were hand picked for articles such as...

1. Is your marriage honest? (is my marriage honest? snort snort secret bank accounts giggle giggle)
2. Burn extra calories with no exercise (will have to cut article out and stick under pillow in hope osmosis will turn me into size 10 three days after birth. Will be under pillow along with 'baby WILL just slide out piece of paper too)
3. I'm pregnant and sick! What can I take! (only those white girlie bum bullets sorry - which might add seem to be doing the trick)
4. Am I normal down there? (snort snort, three babies, a bit of choki choki choki by the doctor and a yeast infection and I can confidently say no, not normal down there)

Their vist was loads of fun though and good to catch up on the goings on of two other foreign wives with kids.

I am now clearly procrastinating from my translation - which actually is going well as had roaring run yesterday afternoon and evening and only have ten pages to go. If I want to warrent having an afternoon siesta I best get back to the slog and get a good few pages done before lunch - which could be bakedbeans or a mince pie. OMG - bunster just about came out at thought of such gourmet delicacies.


Sunday, 17 May 2009

Cheese and Bread

Would you believe that everything I ordered the other day arrived - and in fact the fejoa and manuka honey vodka arrived the day after I ordered it. The wine apparently arrived this morning and Granny K has it stashed out in the shed somewhere. FBC boxes also arrived. Had forgotten about the hokey pokey ice cream. Had to hide it all in the freezer - bar the cheese of course that got opened straight away. Shou has decided he is huge Australian Cheddar fan which I'm not too excited about. Will need to battle him for the cheese slice.

Had one comment saying thrush was called a 'yeast infection'. Am liking this title a lot better as only makes me feel like big loaf of bread as opposed to skanky hoe. Hub had the cheek to ask me if perhaps it was because of lack of personal hygiene. He said this after 'not hearing' the chemist lady, who was standing a meter away from him, say that such infections quite common in pregnant woman with hormone balance all out of whack.

Hub did grand performance with the kids today. I played the 36 week pregnant drama queen and had two hour nap with Marina in the morning while 'the boys' went out and then tried to keep elphantitis feet up on couch for much of the afternoon. Kids were on full volume though and grumpy mummy had to stand in a few times.

Lunch was one of those typical lazy Sunday affairs - although my picklets (hot cakes) in the shape of trees, stars and hearts took longer than anticipated! Dinner was much of the same with home made pizza on tortilla bases with Australian cheddar. Marina munched hers back and Shou, as per usual, took a lot of persuading.

Hub has rung his brother in the city, two hours away, and said he wont be staying the night this Wednesday when he is in the city for a three day promotion orientation conference bollocksy thing. He said to me 'if you don't wont me to stay I wont'. Now, I don't get the logic in this kind of statement. He knows full well I will probably worry myself into labor if I know I haven't got transport to the hospital in the middle of the night. Why even ask me if he can stay or not!! As conference finishes at half four on Wed, Thurs and Fri afternoon, and seeing as he isn't staying, I just presumed that he would then arrive home two hours later - at half six. But, almost in childlike retaliation for being told he couldn't stay over, he said he would drive to work and do a few hours there before coming home.

I have good mind to set his place for dinner each of those nights with a packet of frozen fried rice - still in the packet on a place mat.

Another man comment came out this afternoon - as I was putting away tortillas and ice cream in freezer (something freezer has NEVER seen the likes of before) when hub said

'there's a lot of frozen food in the freezer'

To me, this is akin to making comment like

'you're getting big (said to 36 week pregnant wife)'

So obvious it almost hurts being the person on the receiving end of such a profound statement.

Anyway, I shouldn't really bitch about the man as he did go above and beyond the call of duty today. He even made me sit on the couch this arvo and put my feet up on his lap for an ankle rub.

I am getting better at the wo is me pregnant woman act.

I just wish he was around more for me to take advantage of it.


Saturday, 16 May 2009

36 Weeks

We got a really good scan pic of the bunster today - the first one where he is actually looking straight at the camera - albeit with his eyes closed of course. I'm not quite sure where he got his big African lips from and hub wasn't quite sure if his nose was as gaijin prominent as Shou's and Marina's. Also no hair waving around which is good as otherwise head may have looked even bigger.

The doctor reckons, after taking various stomach and leg bone measurements, that he is about 3300 grams already and that I should expect a big baby. I got told this with Marina also - that she would probably be over 4000 grams and two or three weeks early. She was 3400 and a day before her due date so I aren't freaking out quite yet that will be in labor for three days pushing out biggest baby ever born from my nice little Japanese ladies clinic. Doc also said not to worry as bunster would be fine whenever he decided to come.

He then said I had to have an internal exam during which he did god knows what as as per usual he was just a faceless pair of hands on the other side of the curtain. Not a peep out of him the whole twenty seconds but he used the duck. Another short consultation during which he said I had XY and Z - but what I think meant I have thrush?? maybe. Not sure as never had before and unsure of Japanese. Surashu wasn't part of the vocab and hub, being a man, was listening with both ears closed.

Had to go to chemist to pick up some girlie bum bullets. Very interesting indeed. The lady at the chemist gave full explanation and said not to worry if, after fizzing into cream inside, some them slipped out. Okey dokey then.

Following this we went to home centre to get black out curtains. Yes mum, you read that correctly. Crap mothering 101 - let your kids sleep in a completely dark room to ensure they get maximum sleep and don't get up at crack of friggin dawn. We found some really good ones that were very cheap. While we were there I had a bit of a 'situation' where I had to flee to the toilets as thought the bunster was losing his plug. Turns out, after much thinking about conversation with doctor and chemist, that doctor must have put a bullet in during internal. Thanks for clarifying that doctor. So, bunster not coming unstuck was just some bullet backfire.

Lucky really, as not too keen on giving birth in middle of curtain section - although at least black out curtains readily available to make nice little birthing enclosure. Could have even pulled on a few hanging down from the ceiling during contractions and perhaps got hub to run off and find swiss ball from exercise section - in style of free birthing clinic.

Following curtain purchase we went for lunch - to mosburger. Worlds best hamburger shop ever. Haven't had since ran away to city with Marina to escape scissor wielding granny K after chopping first born son's curly locks without permission. Silly cow. Still gets me worked up.

Drove home and, after putting up curtains, had afternoon nap for three hours!! Woke up at four and had to run round in mad rush decorating cake and getting dinner sorted before going to pick the sproglets up at five with hub. He was looking very smug when both kids came running out of kindy and straight to him. I'd be sick of me too if I was them. Yay for big fat waddling mummy who gets shitty every time she has to bend over her bump unnecessarily because we are running riot or trying to put both feet in the same leg hole of our PJs.

Had nice family dinner - which means hub, Shou and Marina had rice, eel and miso soup and small side dish of pasta while mum had big bowl of just pasta. Then had to whip the cream for the cake and Shou and Marina got their first ever cream covered mixer sprong thingy to lick. What's the point in baking for the kids if you don't let them lick the bowl aye!!

Kids both asleep and translation sitting beside me saying 'I know you can't be fucked with me right now but at moment you only probably have enough money for inside drum and high powered hair dryer. Sort your shit out and do another couple of pages'

Best do what am told.

Sorry posts are getting to be more bunster related than before. Feel free to tune out for few weeks and come back when they will all be about leaky boobs and big headed bald babies.


Friday, 15 May 2009

Happy Birthday Hub!

No exciting pictures of either a cake or the ungracious birthday boy who wants nothing. I had planned on spending this morning going to the next town over to get some stuff for the cake and some unagi (eel) for hub's dinner - his favorite and something we seldom eat because it grosses me out and it's generally too pricey.

As it happens hub, after working late last night, said he would be late again tonight as well. SIGH. And after I had gotten Shou all worked up about cake too :( In protest I have decided to boycott the birthday thing today and do it tomorrow instead - when at least the kids will be able to enjoy it a bit and hub won't have to come home to a quiet house and a piece of cake with glad wrap over it and a card saying there is a beer in the fridge.

Doing the whole thing tomorrow means we can have a birthday lunch just the two of us - after trip to docs where will probably be told the saloon doors are completely shut now and bunster has in fact slid himself back up and has no intention of coming out until two weeks after due date.

Yesterday was indeed busy - but the primary school class got cancelled. Or rather, the silly pregnant woman (that would be me) got the dates wrong and is in fact next Thursday - by which time, even if the bunster is still inside, I will have at least finished my last translation. Which, I might add, I am doing a stellar job of procrastinating over at moment. Shou was only 90% off to sleep at English class time last night so had to do repeat performance and bring him downstairs (bugger off mum) where, instead of the smurfs, he decided to sit beside me and help conjugate verbs. Well, not quite. He was very well behaved though.

In between chaos yesterday I somehow managed to order just a few things off FBC and rakuten. Not much. Honest. Don't really even have recollection of searching for Australian cheddar, bakedbeans or mince pies but what do you know - they will probably be arriving on the doorstop in a day or two, about the same time just a few bottles of New Zealand vino and fejio vodka turns up. Hmmmmmm. Is dangerous having NZ credit card that is actually in credit. Gets the better of me every time. Next shop - one of those big mozzie nets that kind of drape down over the bed in style of story book princess bed. Want it for over the baby's cot.

Although here in the land of oversized critters a fishing net would probably be just as effective. Never seen any small insects in the house and the other day I spotted my first 10cm plus centipede - given it was outside crawling around in the recylcing bin. Probably not as drunk as it was hoping seeing as mainly empty diet coke cans and 0% alcohol beer cans in there!! The bull frogs are out too, as are the cute little frogs - that make one hell of a racket at night. Shou was unsure as to what the bull frog sound was so I said was 'oni' coming to chase him for not listening to his tired mother.

Was talking to friend in NZ other day and we were discussing names. Said Ryu was a front runner and she suggested turning it into Ryuta, which is another not uncommon Japanese boys name. Had to turn suggestion down though as Granny A pronounces Ryu as Roo and therefore Ryuta would mean second son was being called a Rooter by New Zealand relatives. Probably not the best way to start his life.

All my English class kids like Riku (Rick) over Ryu. Still open to suggestions though... ???

Better get another page or two done before lunch.


Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Thursday already??

And here I was thinking I might get out of this one by being in nice clinic with nice cuddly new baby suckling at bosom. Bugger it. And tomorrow is a mission cause have primary school class on top of three normal at home classes on top of getting as much translation done as possible on top of racing out in car to get dinner cause damned if I'm going to make it.

Hub offered to come home early tomorrow night on the off chance Shou not asleep by English class time. I declined though as he said that would mean he would be late on his birthday on Friday - and that's just not fair. I think I will need to make a cake despite his protests - just because well, birthday and cake go in the same sentence don't they? Besides, I want some.

I officially took Hub and Shou's name of the kindy outing list this morning. The trip is to the African Safari about an hour and a half away by car. It is the 23rd of May so too close a call considering I have no one else to drive me to the hospital as Granny K can't and my backup are going on the kindy trip!! Met solar panel man's mum in the supermarket this arvo and she said could ring anytime if needed to get to hosp and hub not readily available. She might wish she hadn't said that as me being a foreigner and all I tend to take people up on what they say.

Oh, just pop in anytime.

Will do then.

Every day for the next month.

I am up to page eight out of my ten want to finish translation pages today. Have lost some oomph.

On completely random topic - I have my ankles back. Fully back, as in could possible wear strappy black victoria secret fuck me stilettos and get away with it. Although christ if someone took me up on it I think my waters would break.

As paranoid hormonal pregnant woman have right to be - I have convinced self bunster MUST stay in for at least another two weeks as otherwise will be hooked up to breathing tubes and all sorts and probably have trouble sucking boob and come out all yellow with jaundice. But, he is so low down now that feel like one big jump off a step and the saloon doors will slide open, well, that's what sister says.

I find that the closer I get to d day the more of a toilet nazi I become. Obviously I'm on the damn thing more than usual but I also start 'keeping an eye out' (so to speak) for the 'show' - which I never saw with Shou and Marina but which sounds completely disgusting, especially as other friendly name for it is the 'mucus plug'. Awesome. Nice to know something substantial keeping the bunster up there.

Anyway, I am procrastinating. Must... get... back... to... translation...


Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Not from my phone

A bit of a restless night but the new day seemed to bring things to a bit of a halt and the bunster has calmed down considerably. He has definitely positioned himself in the ready to shoot out position and everything from walking, sitting, stair climbing to chasing toddlers is a challenge. I wish I could walk round naked all day too as getting dressed and undressed is a mission too.

The consistent dull pain is still there but whether it has eased a bit or I am used to it I'm not sure. Didn't spend all day on the loo and I don't have a temperature so maybe I will give the medical profession the benefit of the doubt and agree that yesterday's bout was indeed just a bug of some kind.

I finally finished the batch of translating I was aiming to send on Sunday. Sent that off at lunch along with a letter to the project manager asking him to please reassign two of my last three batches as I was in doubt as to actually being able to finish them on time and didn't want to put them out. I have one batch to hold on to and managed to get ten pages of the forty four page power point done today.

Anyhoo, very boring post but thought if I didn't post you might be thinking I was screaming blue murder in the labor and delivery room. Not quite yet.

Save that post for another day - hopefully at least a week or two away. Going to the hospital with hub on Saturday - as only days can go when I don't have to drive myself.


Monday, 11 May 2009

Nearly Here??

I spent the morning doing bits of translation and taking trips to the loo. I still have a sore lower tummy and the added trips to the toilet (the last time this happened was the day before Marina was born) made me decide to go to the hospital today. Also was obviously lighter as had nothing left in stomach and may well have been getting rid of lard by the end of it. Here's hoping.

I spent twenty minutes fluffing round getting my hospital bag ready. Hunting out old post-birth underwear, new toothbrush, strawberry and vanilla infused hair conditioner and the likes. I hadn't eaten since breakfast and, one of life's small miracles, I still don't have an appetite. I did by an energy bar and some chocolate coated almonds at the conbini on the way though - along with new tape for video recorder. By half way to the hospital I had convinced myself this was it and the bunster was going to be five weeks early - not an altogether bad thing as I myself was six weeks early. Obviously at this stage though the longer they stay in up until about 38 weeks the better.

Got to the clinic, did pee test, blood pressure, blood test, ultrasound, baby stress test and GBS scrape - which is an internal exam. At the same time the doctor had a bit of a feel round and what do you know the bunster has his head down low and in touchable by internal exam distance. I have started dilating - which I know could mean I walk round for the next three weeks two or three cm dilated before any more action takes place.

The baby stress test is a test where you lie down for forty minutes with a dopler thing belt round your tummy - to record the number of contractions in forty minutes and how much the baby is moving. Bunster was having a field day and the record showed three big tummy tightenings in the forty mins. However, the trips to the loo and a 37.8 degree temp had the doctor thinking all I had was a tummy bug - despite my telling her that the 'pain' wasn't that kind of pain.

Anyway, I got sent home again with an array of tummy pain and the shits tablets and instructions to go back in a couple of days if the pain hasn't subsided.

I wasn't going to make it in time to get the sproglets from kindy so hub left work on time (five o'clock) and got them instead.

My tummy is still sore and I'm not sure how much sleep I will be getting.

Fingers crossed the bunster can hold out a bit longer - although this Friday is hub's birthday and having Shou on my birthday and the bunster on his birthday would be quite fun!!

Anyway, here's hoping the next post isn't from my phone in the car on the way to the hospital at three o'clock in the morning!!


Sunday, 10 May 2009

Still Here

Just to let you know there hasn't been any big catastrophe. The bunster is still on the inside, Granny K still lives, hub is I do believe working and not skipping off to pachinko every night, the kids are still being well... toddlers.

Golden Week holidays were tiring and the big translation came in so I have been spending every available minute without going insane (debatable) in front of the computer - hence why it gets switched off when my head isn't in it anymore and that usually means I aren't up for much blogging.

It isn't your standard translation and without divulging any of the juicy technical details I can say it has to be one of the most frustrating ones I have ever had. The technical side is meaning I spend a lot of time looking up terms and jargon but that's not the head doer inner - it's the fact that all the documents I have been given were originally hardcopy PDF files. The first batch stayed that way and I had to translate as well as format. My second batch has been turned into Word documents but this means EVERYTHING is in individual text boxes. So, translating a table isn't just a matter of tabbing across to the next cell it means clicking on the next textbox, changing the font, the size and the margins - as inevitably the English is always longer than the Japanese.

So, I have two batches sent off and another about to send off after adding a bit more bollocksy shite to it tomorrow. The next batch only has one file - a 22 page power point. Oh the joy. Due to the 100% textbox nature it is very hard to figure out how many English words (what I am getting paid in) I am doing, hence I don't know if I will end up with a whole washing machine or just the drum. I can tell you though that if I end up with just the drum I am going to get in and hide in there with a bottle of wine for a while.

Hub has been doing A LOT with the kids which means I can still get a small amount done on holidays and sundays. The house is getting a bit neglected and 'the list'... bloody list. What list?? Although MUST get hospital bag ready tomorrow. Hub is getting paranoid and after a continuous braxton hicks type pain in my lower tummy since last night I am too. I didn't get braxton hicks with Shou or Marina so this is new - and not very enjoyable. With both of them I didn't feel ANY pain until I was suddenly having contractions five minutes apart, and they were both born 6 and 4 hours later. I am scared that two 'good' births has put me in line for a complete bitch of a 48 hour labor only to end up having to be whisked off to have a C-section. I am off to the hospital tomorrow or Tuesday, depending on how light I feel on the day :p

Granny K has been being seen and not heard lately although she did try to pull the wool a couple of times today - probably thinking she could get away with it on mothers day. She asked hub at five pm yesterday to go and throw 'hiyo' on the rice paddy. Not the cow shit and not fertiliser - something in between. He said no it was too late he was about to go and pick up the kiddies. So, this morning he is set to go when I ask him how long it will take. He says about an hour but less time of GK would go with him - at which point she walks round the side of the house and I voice very loudly that I had shit loads of work and wouldn't it be fab if they could both go. She looked a bit put out but loaded herself, her oversized straw hat pulled down into a bonnet and bucket and hacksaw jim duggen (??) type machete into the car. Shou went too.

On mother's day hub usually takes her to the onsen about ten minutes away. He arranged with her to leave at four pm as he was going to take Shou and that way they would be home at a decent enough dinner time. Four o'clock rocks round and GK is nowhere to be seen. She thought it was far too early to be going - a thought she had felt insignificant enought to tell hub when they decided on a time. Hub put his foot down and told her to be outside in three minutes or they would leave without here. She gets outside and asks what Shou is doing going with them - as if it makes any fricken difference. Not as if she and hub can have cozy family onsen as the baths are female and male. GK reckons they will only be forty minutes - she said that last year and it was an hour and a half. Ditto today.

I rang the okonomiyaki place up and ordered some fried udon noodles that Marina and I went and picked up at five. She loves them and today had been a funny day and I am altogether not exactly sure how much she ate so wanted her to have big wholesome dinner. She is at that 'wants to do everything for herself' stage, as well as the writing in marker pen all over the door stage. Udon for dinner though and she tends to get most of it in her mouth.

I try to keep up with the news back home - mainly because my family don't ring me enough to fill me in. I was online on Thursday I think and saw that crazy armed man was holed up in his house surrounded by cops - one of whom was dead in the driveway. All within 1km of Granny A's house and even closer to eldest sister and three nieces. Two unarmed police cops (as they usually are in NZ) went in for a standard cannabis bust and got shot. Cops from all over the north island were then flown in and on Friday an army tank was seen making it's way through the middle of town. Now, this is BIG news for NZ. The primary school up the road was closed and people in the immediate vicinity were put up in hotels because the man had long range scopes and explosives and knew how to use it all.

To cut a long story short, it was a lot of drama with gun fire that ended up with the man either being killed or killing himself. The bomb squad were still there deactivating bombs though. So of course I have texted and phoned mum a few times over the weekend to keep updated on the dramas. In one conversation we were talking about Shou and bed times (I know - shoot me in the head, why don't I learn) and THE ONE TIME shou didn't ge to sleep before my English lesson I let him downstairs to quietly watch a DVD while I was teaching - as better than alternative of two screaming kids while other people's mothers are paying me good money to teach their kids English. Anyway, my mothering choices were bad, according to my mum, as I was rewarding bad behaviour. Thank god I didn't tell her about feeding the kids cake, chips and lollies for breakfast every day. When I mentioned Shou getting into his summer time wake up routine - five am - and that I might look into getting black out curtains... she went into spiel about how her friends son and daughter in law have the baby sleeping in the lounge - and how the baby can now sleep though anything.

This is fantastic news. I am very happy for my friends. I am not happy for hub and I and Marina who get woken up at 5am every morning and if black out curtains for three months of the year is what it takes, then black out curtains it will be.

Does anybody have a mother who actually gives them any praise at all for their mothering skills?? I have no recollection of my mum being the tough love type parent. When I was at primary school I remember being allowed to sleep with a light or a radio on. Shock Horror. My 28 year old brother STILL sleep walks and talks every so often - surely that is direct result of bad sleeping habits when he was a baby!! :)

Anyway, being pregnant is pre-requisite for being able to be upset at your own mother for any reason - and my biggest bitch at moment is that they (the parents) are hinting at possibly helping out the WHOLE FAMILY (four of us kids plus all our partners and offspring) to Fiji next year for mum's 60th. And yet there has been no offer for just my mum to come over and help with the bunster. Actually, flag the help, no offer or hint of desire to even come and meet him. I can't see the logic. Apparantley I am being selfish for saying we probably wont come all the way to island that has no significance to us, with a four year old, two year old and one year old for three nights - amount hub probably able to take off work. I would rather send Granny A a nice DVD of the grandkids and life over here at the moment, some homemade scribble cards from the kids and then stay here and put up a hammock on the deck and make a batch of pina coladas which I will then proceed to drink all of on own in her honor.

Christ, why haven't I been blogging. I feel such a release at all this venting.

Apologies - not the best way to make a comeback but I do feel better.

Lets just hope I can get all the translation shite I have been given submitted by the 20th and that I still have a week or so after that to SLEEP everyday all day, in between dusting the light fittings and scrubbing the ceiling, before the bunster is born. I am officially 35 weeks today I think but I am aiming for the bunster to arrive two weeks early and preferably on a Friday!!


PS - on a positive note, good friend from Ireland has finished booking all her international and domestic flights to come and visit at the end of August. This is the light at the end of the tunnel. I can't wait. It will be nice for Shou and Marina to meet their European Stylist too. Thanks to said friend kids are best dressed kids in Kunimi and I am fattest pregnant foreigner due to HER mother sending huge easter parcel. Actually am only fat pregnant foreigner in Kunimi.

Actually am only foreigner so not much competition - could also be right saying am therefore skinniest pregnant foreigner in Kunimi.

PPS - my payitforward people - I AM GOING TO GET ONTO DOING THIS. Am convincing myself that by saying over and over again will suddenly transpire like miracle of god. In all truthfulness I have started this though and just need to get suitable boxes and hunt down addresses.

Monday, 4 May 2009

Inebriated hub

Lucky I didn't bring hub home and then go out on my own for a few hours this afternoon. The useless man was inebriated as they come. He has a few stages of over indulgence - the first is a nice cuddly pished and the next is just pissed and no fun as can't manage anything and is more annoying having him around than not.

I was supposed to pick up one of his friends on the way - who also has the same last name as us and is some distant relative of some kind. He lives a few paddies over so we stop there and he comes running out half dressed saying he just got call from wife and eldest son has broken hand playing baseball so he has to go to the hospital. Get to the christening location and half the town office blokes are just heading in too - no doubt all leaving there wives at home to look after kids while they get pissed in the middle of the day.

I get back home and put Marina to bed, followed closely by Shou and I. They are still asleep when I get up at half two but both wake up as I am walking out the door to get hub - who rang with a 'mukaenikette (come get me)' call. Ended up taking Shou with me while GK looked after Marina. As soon as I got to the place I saw a guy I used to work with and he was loaded so I knew hub wasn't going to be in a much better state. Right I am.

Because the friend who had to go to the hospital didn't turn up hub had to bring his obento and thank you gift back for him, so we swing past his house on the way home. Hub has to multitask - as in carry two things and walk at the same time. Very difficult task and one that he completely fucks up and drops obento right in the doorway and everything falls out - a flying shrimp, some tempura, some pickles. I imagine all that was left in the actual box was some green grass look a like plastic stuff and that spongy tofu shit that you always leave anyway. I almost laughed despite trying to be the stern gaijinwife.

Get home and hub just about does a repeat performance of obento drop when he picks up Marina. After a few 'you kids are the bestest kids in the world' type stuff (notice lack of wife comment in there) he heads to the toilet where he stays for twenty minutes - he was throwing up. Throwing up people. Hub is 44 in a couple of weeks. Sooooo not impressed. He was of course in no way capable of helping me with anything at all so I send him upstairs to sleep. All the kids got was 'daddy was working too hard and he is really tired'. Bollocks bollocks bollocks. He came back downstairs about half an hour ago - after the chaos, after the mayhem, when the kids are all clean and sleepy - and in fact Marina is already in bed.

He apologises. To his credit. But am still not impressed.

Am sick of hearing the word 'tsukiai' - a word they use for a lot of things here. In this case it means he is almost obligated to attend these functions - and is in fact representing the whole family. This kind of 'discussion' always ends up with a few 'but you are actually wanting to go just a little bit aren't you' and the inevitable 'not really but I have to' response from hub.

OK, so you have to go and show your support or whatever but in my book that DOES NOT involve being 'obligated' to drink until you throw up.

What a lot of it comes down to I think is that I am never the one invited to these things and hub is always the one that gets a break from the mundane household and kid stuff and the chance to get a nice meal and a few drinks and some time out - even if it is in surroundings and with people he wouldn't choose himself.

Ah well. I did know about all this shite before I got married - I guess I just didn't know how it would make me feel when I was pregnant and looking after two toddlers at home!!

Hub went upstairs to put Shou to sleep and I imagine has stayed that way himself. Pain really as I can't get much more of the bastard translation done if I haven't got him to tell me what half the characters are!!

We are maybe off to go washing machine shopping tomorrow but I would really like is hub to look after both the kids while I go out - although really nowhere in 8 months pregnant driving distance I can get a nice coffee at!!


Sunday, 3 May 2009

Granny K on Spin Cycle

The translation work finally came in - or rather I emailed them and requested some stuff to start on before the mayhem of the next three days. I spent a whole day on it yesterday - or as much as I could in between doing the minimal kids to kindy, washing, vacuuming, dinner making and evening kiddy dinner, bath and bed lark. I got a good chunk done and today I got more done than I was planning. Still have a bitch of a document to do but have until Friday for that. And no I don't usually take on technical stuff as... well... am not very technical. Had to put files into a zip folder and upload to sent link. Took me half an hour - such is the inbred bastard technological set up I have here in Kunimi.

So, I am that much closer to my new washing machine and perhaps a bottle of bubbly for my birthday if there is any loose change left over. Is hard to believe that by my birthday next month the bunster will be here. He has been an energetic little &$%#$ the last couple of days and am not entirely convinced he hasn't gone and turned himself around, planning to come out feet first. Because that sounds like a whole lot of fun. At least if need C-section could the doctor not stick in liposuction pump at the same time?? If not then sad to say may well be breast feeding this child until he leaves home if plan on getting back down to desired weight.

Hub made some random man comment this morning that I took offense to and proceeded to get in woman huff and not speak to him for few hours :p When I did open my mouth I think this is 'roughly' the conversation that followed...

Gaijinwife: you realise I am fine about jumping on plane with three kids on my own.
Hub: running away??
Gaijinwife: you never know.
Hub: will have to have five kids then.
Gaijinwife: not possible as never shagging again.
Hub: I'll sort something out.
Gaijinwife: well, will have to involve plying me with loads of alcohol and a room full of oversized spiders or perhaps some horse tranquilizers so I don't know what's going on.

Anyway, we have made up - ish - I guess.

He has a drinking thing tomorrow afternoon - a christening thing for someone he used to work with and who he never sees but who did give us some towels or something when Shou was born. So, in addition to having to give this bloke 150 dollars as congratulations for his wife giving birth to their first son (he would have to give the money whether he turned up at christening or not) I also lose him for about four hours tomorrow afternoon. He has been given a strict warning about coming home at three o'clock too inebriated to help with the evening chaos. I have good mind to drop him off home and then bugger off myself for four hours!!

Marina's new trick is jumping - or rather, the type of one foot followed in quick succession by the other foot jumping that only a toddler learning to jump can do. She gives herself big clap after 'jumping' off the harth / hearth (can you believe people actually pay me to translate shit!!) around the fireplace - a whopping ten cms or so. Is extremely cute to watch though.

Shou hasn't got any new tricks really - although he is getting loads better at buttoning and unbuttoning his clothes. First few trys and he just tried to incredible hulk his shirts off. Have found that most things that usually take long time with him can be sped up tenfold by turning it into race. That said he did just about choke on his udon tonight though. Feed him and he eats fine but leave him to his own devices and you may as well set the timer for about thirty or forty minutes - such a difference to Marina who sits their like a hungry chick with her mouth gaping for the next bit of food.

Granny K is behaving herself quite well lately - although yesterday morning she did stand outside her door for ten minutes with Shou trying to get in, saying but mummy doesn't want you in there. I was trying to coax Shou - and Granny - in here when I heard her door close - she had taken Shou in there after ten minutes of not letting him in and knowing full well I was about five metres away. I really don't know what she is thinking some times. When hub went in to try and get Shou to come back in here Granny K ended up getting in huff and saying 'well, just bloody well pick him up and take him out then' - or equivalent thereof.

She was hungry.... ???? and wanted to have her breakfast.... ??? Fair enough, but why even come out at that time anyway if you are only going to say good morning and then run back to your room before having a proper play with the kids - especially as she complains about how little she gets to see them.

She went off with Hub and Shou for lunch. I asked if they could take Marina and hub at first said no - which just led to me doing the big 'so when I look after them I do it on my own but you and granny can't handle it together?' He changed his tune though and offered to take both of them but saying in same breath that there would be no messing round if he had both of them. Rightio then crap daddy - take Shou and bugger off for at least two hours with Granny K and leave Marina and I to have lunch on our own and have nap. Which we did.

It's frustrating that while I have to suck it in about him going off to work all day whenever I have to work it is such an ordeal - and I end up feeling guilty. Arrrgghhhh.


PS - do they let one adult on a plane with five kids?