Sunday, 1 March 2009

Silent Treatment

There has been silence on the GK front today. Haven't said a word to each other. Haven't seen any suitcases being lugged back and forth but she was acting strange this morning. She spent ages scrubbing a big steel over sized wok thing that got me thinking maybe she is going to go bush and use that as her bath. Saw her walking round with a priest in his full blue priestly outfit. I am pretty sure the festival to bless the big rock out the back (kid you not) has been and gone about four days ago so I wonder what he was being called in for - an exorcist of the gaijinwife?? If so, then obviously all he needed was to be in the environs and not actually to be waving his white paper wand over my head.

I don't feel any more at peace with her though. From her perspective it may have worked though as she hasn't had me in her face at all today - but due only to fact that she wasn't in my face first!! I heard at the start of our relationship that hub's ex-wife and Granny K had some mis-understandings on the child raising front and that while it wasn't the reason for the split it definitely didn't help the loving home environment. I am gagging to know more details but have learnt to not ask hub things about that time. It doesn't surprise me though as I imagine GK was doing similar to what she is doing now. The kids were toddlerish age when they left so prime time for ex-wife to not want to be hearing her mother in law's advice.

I have a primary school English class on Tuesday - just for an hour. Couldn't work up the courage today to ask Granny K to look after Marina. Am wondering if there is a way around it - perhaps solar panel man's wife would come for an hour or one of the teachers could keep an eye on her for the fifty minute lesson. Hmmmmm, or I could just pull my finger out and act like an adult and ask Granny K. I will, I will, I will. Just give me another 24 hours to work myself up to it.

After dinner last night hub did start the 'we could rent an apartment' talk again. The only good thing to come out of that would be not having Granny K annoying the shit out of me everyday. On the downside it would mean

Moving out of our house, which I know I complain about, but which is still only three years old.
Letting Granny K have run of the roost for the however many years we are away which would equal the upstairs not getting used at all and the downstairs turning into an extension of the squatter type existence she has set up in her room now.
I would lose my English lessons as I doubt we could get an apartment with enough room for five of us and a spare room for English.
Which in turn would mean we would be down the English lesson money plus down the apartment rental money plus electricity etc - while still paying electricity for Granny K back here and all the expenses that come with this place. Needless to say we would be eating a lot into the savings that we haven't got every month.

So, the conclusion is to learn to co-exist with the witch. I will start taking Marina to and from kindy with me to drop and pick Shou up and I will ask Granny K to continue looking after her for the three hours a week that I teach - although I will try harder to schedule Marina's naps around this time. It will seriously break down her grandchild time but I can't see any other way around it - the less she is a part of my day the less we can piss each other off. I may well get a lock for her door that goes higher up so that Shou can't reach it. Quite often it is the times he sneaks off in there that I find him playing with scissors and lighters and kerosene cans or being fed inappropriate food at inappropriate times.

Hub has suggested we go to dinner and an onsen for her birthday, like we did last year. Last year I was breastfeeding and this year I am pregnant so that means no onsen for me and Marina - and last year Granny K was in there for an hour while Marina and I twiddled out thumbs. Dinner is never much fun either as anyone who has gone out to eat with someone over the age of seventy probably knows - nothing is every actually 'nice' it is all too this or too that and not what she is used to. Flag paying for that again.

Hub is going to take Shou and the three of them will go and just have an onsen.

While Marina and I stay at home and ...

plant landmines in Granny K's room.

Marina's cough not getting better so looks like tonight will be another of those with not much sleep. A trip to the doctor's tomorrow but refuse to come home with same drugs they dished out to us last time. Have instructions to buy the quarter-annual lotto tickets from hub. One can only dream of a mother in law free home...

Might head off to bed. Hub is watching Mission Impossible III but there is only so much Japanese Tom Cruise you can manage.


And apologies for a very negative post.


Nay said...


I can't imagine what living with your mother in law must be like. You are a WAY better person than me, there is no way I could put up with all of granny K's sh*t... my mother in law is bad enough, and she sounds like an angel compared to yours!

I can't really give you any advice... I can only hope that things get easier! I hope you have a better day tomorrow!

Hugs again!

Jo Tomooka said...

Sorry we couldn't make it on Saturday... it turned into one of those "no time to think" kinds of days. I think I finally have a day with nothing tomorrow so if you are heading to the hospital let me know and I'll put the kettle on for you!

illahee said...

did i tell you about the time my MIL threatened (promised, more like!) to never return to our house again? when sasha was born she stayed in our house for a week (what. a. nightmare.) and all the awful things she did (check out my archives, september 2006) that i was less than gracious as a hostess (hey, i just gave birth!) that she left a day early and told FIL (who told DH) that she was never coming back.

she lied. *sigh*

but at least i don't think she'll ever want to live with us!

...and don't you think you could rent the apartment for granny witch? that would be cheaper, i think....

having a break from granny k for a few hours sounds like a great b-day gift!!

Anonymous said...

Totally agree here with Illahee! It's your house, right? I would get her a 1LDK (nice, small and sweet enough for her) and live your life with your family ALONE-

I think you are a more patient person than I... for sures..

anchan said...

I absolutely agree - why should she have the run of your house while you live in an appartment? Do you think she would every agree to living on her own? My friend's MIL was living with her, but she was going crazy so they managed to get her a council mansion - and it's really, really cheap!

Ruth said...

Definitely do not leave the house,not after you put so much effort into decorating it and making it nice. You'll probably have a whole infestation of vestlings by the time you come back :)