Where to start... without ripping the computer socket from the wall and throwing it out the window. Not that I'm angry at the computer of course - it would just be taking my frustration out on something other than the culprit, which is, as per usual... the spectacular Granny K.
Knowing that Granny K was involved - and that the title of the post is Shou's first locks - as in hair - can you guess what the silly bitch did??
We were upstairs after lunch having a family nap when Shou came out with 'Granny chopped my hair with the scissors'. I thought I had heard wrong - as had hub. Now, obviously his hair hadn't been given the once over or we would have noticed straight away, but upon closer inspection his one and only long piece at the back was gone - all together one good curly lock.
This was THE FIRST time anyone had taken a pair of scissors to his hair. While I was pregnant with Shou I bought a baby book and therefore for the last three years had been waiting patiently for the time when I could cut his first lock and put it in the special 'baby's first lock of hair' envelope. I also heard that in Japan some people use the first hair from the first cut to make a caligraphy pen. Hub and I had discussed this and even though Shou's first cut was obviously going to be a lot later on than a lot of the boof hairy Japanese babies, we were still thinking about doing it. His hair is still extremely fine and soft and would have made quite a fine pen me thinks.
I was in disbelief really and wondering how Granny K was going to explain herself out of this one. I made the conscious decision to wait while hub went in to talk to her and to try and retrieve the piece of hair that had, according to Shou, been thrown in her scodey vestling rubbish bin. I knew if I went in first off things wouldn't be pretty.
As it happened, the way she spoke to hub about it
'for god's sake, it's just a bit of friggin hair. Get over it'
kind of thing I just couldn't stop myself.
I went in.
And I left.
Well, I did go in. I then told her that it was not her place to give Shou his first hair cut. I was upset more than angry. I felt cheated of an experience that should have been mine not hers - as trivial as it may seem.
I asked her was she not even sorry, would she not even try to understand or appologise. Her response.....
An appology as an afterthought with no heartfelt oomph whatsoever.
I lost it.
I said something to her I have never said before.
I swore in English. God save us. Hub knows things are serious when I curse in English.
After her pathetic excuse for an appology I called her a...
Stupid Fucking Bitch. (cue gasps and cries of shock from the audience)
followed closely by....
Just in case she didn't get my heartfelt oomph behind the English one.
She tried to follow us out into the hall. I slamed the door in her face. Haven't seen her since. I was shaking I was so worked up. I had the prescious lock of hair from my first born son but it had been fished out of her scummy rubbish bin. It is in the envelope with a less snarky version of the truth under the 'my first haircut' page.
I phoned my mum to try and calm down - which helped a little but I didn't need the 'it's just a power struggle thing between you two. You just don't won't her doing ANYTHING concerning the kids without her permission.' This is partly true - concerning important things like feeding the kids shit all day, letting them play with inappropriate things, and things like giving them their first haircut. When they are in her room though I don't stand at the bloody doorway watching her every move.
Rationally I know that Granny K wasn't sitting there cutting his hair thinking 'ooh, this will piss the bitch of a daughter in law off'. She just doesn't think FULL STOP. I would have thought after the blowup last time that she would be more careful in doing something that might have even the slightest chance of making things blow up again.
Hub tried to tell me I shouldn't get worked up or (and where have I heard this before) the bunster would be a very angry baby. I calmly said that my stress levels would be way down if she wasn't here and that if she was thinking about the well being of her grandkids and her son's family then she would maybe think that moving out would be the best option too.
But, been there, had that discussion, lost that war.
I have one more English session this week that I need her to keep an eye on Marina for. After that and Marina will be in kindy and I have all of June off already for the baby. So three months of not having to ask her to help.
I don't need words of wisdom. I know I overreacted. I could have acted a lot more calmly and explained why I was so upset. But, that wasn't how things worked out. Gaijinwife blew her stack and at this point in time I don't really feel like trying to work things out. The hole in the bridge is too damn big. Ain't no cars getting across there for a while.
Marina and I are going to the city tomorrow for some mummy time out. Solar panel man and his wife own the apartment building I used to live in while I was working in Beppu. They also have the nicest apartment in the building and hardly ever use it. I did a very non Japanese thing and asked if I could use it for the night. After making sure it wasn't a hub-wife blow out and that hub and Shou were OK, it has all been sorted and solar panal man's wife is dropping the key off on her way to work.
I need to get out of the confines of living in the same house as her - even if it is just for twenty four hours. Might give hub and her some time to discuss things. I think she has already rung the brother and sister and law today - I got an email from my sister in law about half an hour ago asking if everything was OK with okaasan.
Is everything OK.
You live with her and I'll email you in four years and ask you the same question.
But enough already. If I can figure out how to post from my keitai again I will do so tomorrow night.