Friday, 9 January 2009

Bad Mummy of the Year...

and it's only the bloody 8th or 9th or whatever it is. Arrrgghhh. Bad mummy of the year goes to the mummy who spent the day like this....

5:00 Shou wakes up - ignore him because got total of about two hours sleep and on verge of completely losing it.

6:00 Marina wakes up - shove water bottle in and then ignore her for another hour despite fact she slept eleven hours straight.

7:00 Get up and do the breakfast thing albeit without one calm word spoken. Frighten a two year old and one year old into eating their toast.

8:00 Second cup of coffee but caffeine not kicking in. Know I need to get out of the house with the kids but am too tired to do the whole get dressed thing myself.

9:00 Put marina back to bed where bless her she goes to sleep. Zonk out in Shou's room with the high-handled door closed so he can't get out. He is forced to play with soldiers and cars while mummy ignores him and tries to sleep.

10:30 Snack time - shove another bit of toast in the toaster and crank on another cup of coffee. Within the space of about twenty minutes Shou gets two time outs and a smack for running away down the drive, trying to brush Marina's four teeth by jamming an adult sized tooth brush down her throat (again) and putting a fork in the toaster.

11:00 Ring old school friend and fortunately they can come up and will be here within the hour. Small feeling of excitement and promise that the world doesn't just revolve around nappies and Vegemite on toast.

11:30 Get dressed (big achievement), slap on some deodorant and haul kids through the drive-through at McDonalds where we all get a cheeseburger happy meal with a Madagasca 2 talking giraffe.

11:45 Get home and feed kids very healthy lunch.

12:00 Friend arrives with thirteen year old and two year old daughter. Hang out and have good catch up (which almost puts me somewhere near the realm of normality)

13:30 Friends leave

14:00 Marina has nap and basically same scenario as morning nap time but only lasting forty minutes. Throw plastic cup across Shou's room and it cracks - Shou cries because that was his coffee cup. Promise to go to two dollar shop tomorrow to get new one. Hate self for resorting to throwing things.

Afternoon gets blurry - but spent mainly inside with Shou wanting to get outside and in the sandbox - which actually probably would have been a better idea but he inevitably ends up snaking me and running off down the drive and do you know how many times I have run round the outside of this bloody house trying to find him?

Dinner - a lot healthier than lunch but Shou, after sprinkling three packets of rice sprinkles on his rice-enough-for-one-packet-of-sprinkles rice ends up throwing a tanty and refusing to eat it. Smack. Ouch. For mummy too as realised half a second too late that he wasn't wearing a nappy under his shorts. Followed by a time out when he tipped rice on floor. Come back from time out and find Marina has tried finishing her rice all on her own. She looks pretty pleased with herself as does the highchair which now doesn't need to be feed for next seven months.

Bath - almost Japanese style like at home. Lots of water happening outside the bath. Marina only nearly drowned twice and is actually quite a trooper when it comes to slipping and gulping mouthfuls of water with no tears Johnson and Johnson in it.

That aside they did both get to sleep by half seven and I was able to sit down and watch crap feel good movie in which John Claude Van dam is a ballroom dance teacher at a Bronx high school. One of those - bad kids sort their shit out kind of film. Like those though so some easy watching.

Brother and girlfriend turned up half way through for a night dip - and then a cuppa. They are both on babysitting for S1's three girls this weekend and were deciding how to entertain them for that long. Brother has started calling her 'Babe' which definitely wasn't happening last week. S2 and her hub do the whole Babe and Sweetie thing and it actually suits them. Have never heard it from brother though so may take some getting used to. There wasn't any 'babe' coming back at him but so obviously they haven't decided on his pet name yet.

Anyway, they tell me that tomorrow is Saturday? Wonder what I can do to get rid of some of this two kiddy cabin fever. If retail therapy is the answer then I may well be heading back to Kunimi with more bling than fingers.



illahee said...

oh sweetie, i've had days like those. i hope tomorrow goes much better for you. *hugs*

Jo Tomooka said...

Hang in there. At least you know it can't get worse!
I hope you find something to get you out of the house... there have been a fair few things thrown in this house over the years too... I think my worst time was when I completely trashed Emily's room - in front of her! Oops.... it did make her clean her room more often though!

anchan said...

Anyone who has been a mum knows exactly how you feel, and if they disagree then they are lying! This is what happens when we spend too much time alone with our kids - me, I used to shut myself in a cupboard to stop myself from loosing it (don't think it helped). xxx

Anonymous said...

Hey Dude, It's Antonio Banderas in the film! Don't want all your blog buddies to make dicks of themselves going to the video shop and asking for the dancing flick with Van Damme in it! Hang in there! Blake spent half the time between 2 and 3 in time out! They say you have to be tough on them at that age as they test all the boundaries. Miss you. Ang xx

gaijinwife said...

Of course, Antonio Antonion. Very much doubt Vandam would agree to sap movie where he had to ballroom dance!!

anchan - if I had a cupboard big enough for me and a coffee machine or a top shelf I may well be in there myself.

Anonymous said...

It's hard to know where to start, but basically i am apalled at the way you treat your kids. Some women out there never get the opportunity or blessing to have kids like we do, but you just ignore them.

Have you tried setting boundaries? Yelling at them isn't the answer obviously, they are not listening to you.

Getting violent by throwing cups and things across the room does not do anything but instill fear into your kids at a young age. They also won't connect you throwing the cup across the room to their bad behaviour because they are not old enough to understand that yet.

If you had set rules in the first place, your children wouldn't be acting this way now. And you have a third on the way, are you going to ignore that one too? I feel sorry for the child who is going to be born into a world of chaos.

If you couldn't cope with two then why have a third? It boggles the mind.

gaijin wife said...

To Anonymous II - I entirely agree with a lot of what you said. I should have boundaries and I should have more rules. I think there are even times though when boundaries and rules just don't cut it - especially with a two year old. Absolutuly I shouldn't have smacked him and ditto about the cup throwing.

This is not an everyday occurrance. I do not ignore my children all day every day and lounge round drinking coffee and reading mags. Yesterday's behaviour was a rare occurrance and that is why I felt the need to blog about it - so that I can look back on it and be thankful for getting through the otherside.

There must be woman out there unable to get pregnant who look at the way some mothers, like me, treat there children on occassions and think what an ungrateful bitch - at least she has a child. For two years I was one of those woman. I have been there and I am grateful for my two beautiful children, and eventhough I am the first to admit the timing isn't great, I am so greatly looking forward to our third child, who I do not intend to ignore.

My blog lets me de-stress after a day. I do tend to focus on the bad, rather than spending paragraphs raving on about how lovely my children are - they are and I know that and the people that count know that and realise I am a good mother 99.9 percent of the time, or so I like to think.

Sorry if my post yesterday offended you. I don't intend to change the way I post and I imagine that in the next 18 years or so my children will probably piss me off in a million other ways. Hopefully I will grow with them and learn some better coping techniques.

In the meantime I would suggest reading other mummy blogs where the world is a better place.

Natasha said...

Kate, as mothers we've all had one of THOSE days, and anyone who doesn't understand it, simply hasn't been there. I appreciate your honesty, we've all done things we're not proud of and wish we'd done better. It's called learning and growing. We're not born as mothers, and parenting is the hardest job in the world. I would go mad without wise words of help from several sources, but would like to share one with everyone out there - I love the book "Growing Great Girls" by Ian and Mary Grant, and there's one about boys too. Loads of stuff about being a fun parent with boundaries, and practical tools that actually work and you feel good about using. Sending you loads of love and hugs xxx

gaijin wife said...

Natasha - tried to find said book on trade me but a no go. Will have to amazon it when we get back. Think need the boy one first but!!

Rachel said...

Yep, I was ticking the boxes as I read that! We all have 'those' days, I call them Mummy tantrums.

And yes AnonII you're so right...and so horribly wrong! Setting boundaries and all that, you sound like a text book, but it's not always so easy in real life.

Kids test boundaries, all the time. You don't just set the rule and they follow it automatically, it takes time and constant repetition.

And Mums are human too, and some days it's just too much, especially if you're trying to do it all alone.

Don't worry Katy, the third is easiest by far - practically raise themselves, and very calm, because you as Mum are more relaxed.

Sherry said...

Anon probably doesn't even have kids as anyone who has kids not only totally understands the day you had, but was probably laughing out loud at the whole "set boundaries and make rules" crap 'cause, right, you make a rule and set a boundary and the kid never once tries to break it or push it.

If Anon wants kids and is bitter because he/she can't have any and you will soon have three, then that is sad; but no one else should have to parent based on someone else's fertility or lack there of.

Or perhaps Anon is just one of those lovely holier than thou parents.

Anonymous said...

Actually, i have two wonderful kids myself, and i don't feel the need to yell and scream at them, throw things at them or ignore them. I set boundaries early on and taught them what was right and wrong, one is 2 the other is 4, and we don't have any problems, even when my husband works away.

I let them know that we are the boss early on and they respect that. Kids want you to show them who is in control. Sure at first they will try to test it out but if you keep consistency, you will be the winner, because your kids will know when they are close to overstepping the mark, and won't try it on.

In no way am i taking bitterness out on the author as i have nothing to be bitter about. I just made a comment, that if the author feels sorry for herself in this situation, there are plenty of people out there without kids, who can't conceive, who would gladly take her place.

I find it kind of sad that the commentors on this post agree with the author and wonder if they are just doing so to be kind, but in their mind's they are pitying the author.

It is better to be upfront and honest instead of hiding behind false words, you don't help anyone that way.

As far as i can see the author has a good husband and home life, apart from annoying mother in law, and two wonderful kids. She also has the support of her own mother and father and family, that many others do not. How some mothers cope with 3 kids as a single parent, more praise to them.

Yes, of course it's your blog and you can whinge all you like. Albeit it's a public blog and as you have comments enabled then expect comments from people who are not going to put their tongue in their cheek and agree just because they are part of the regular commentors.

I can see my post upset you, it wasn't meant to, i just wanted to put my take on things. I can see that realistic comments are not welcome on here as your fellow commentors have made known. You have your entourage backing you up there.

Slime said...

Anonll: Pure rubbish! And I'm guessing not a parent!

GW, don't let *anyone* make you feel like a bad mom, no one knows you, your kids or your situation better than you do! I think you handled the day very well, my coping probably would have involved some duct tape and a dark closet!

And I'm a strong advocate of a good smack every now and again. Sometimes it's just to make ME feel better! LOL

Together hub and I have 6 kids, strong, healthy, smart, well-behaved, well-rounded kids, none of them scarred or damaged by their share of spankings received. And all of them are excellent soccer players now, keen reflexes from dodging all those cups...and shoes, and books, and remotes. There's also nothing wrong with a little fear, I think that's exactly what's wrong with the world today, there is no FEAR of the consequences for wrong doing! Kids aren't afraid of trouble or reprecussions like they used to.

And I hate to disagree with Jo, or fill you with dread, but it definitely CAN get worse! LOL But it will eventually get better, much, much better.

thefukases said...

You guys don't get mummy time-outs?

When I'm having a really bad day I get a mummy time-out. In the armchair in my sunny porch with my cup of coffee and the timer on for 2 minutes (more if I think I can get away with it.) The girls are shocked that I'm in time out and we have the no socialising with a time-outer thing going on so it's two minutes head clearing time. :)

gaijinwife said...

AnonII - I was not terribly upset. I think I was more mystified that you felt that the way I handled things was so completely and utterly not the way anyone else would handle it. I'm not proud of it but I can't say a wee smack and the odd plastic cup hitting the wall isn't going to happen again. I hope it doesn't but I am only human and some days lack of sleep makes me that little bit more edging towards the inhuman but hey.

Do your children never overstep the mark anymore at 2 and 4? If you haven't already then I sincerely suggest you think about putting all your good ideas and work to paper (or starting a blog perhaps?)because I am sure there are countless other mothers out there like me just gagging for some majic tricks that will keep a 2 year old in place and to know that place, knowing all their boundries, countless rules and not overstepping the mark.

That said, I don't think I would be particularly happy if my kids just sat there all day and said yes mummy no mummy. A double sided coin. I need to reach an in between, and on most days I have a very good in between.

I also feel sorry for any commentors who made their comments out of kind for me - although I also sincerely doubt this as I haven't met half of them so what would be the point?

Anyway, nothing like a bit of mother to mother banter to start a Sunday :)