Friday, 10 October 2008

GK in fine form

Yesterday, after I blogged, Hub asked if I had been serious when I mailed him? :) I said yes, of course darling. Remember that little romp in the hay when you took advantage of me after seeing that oversized spider...

Despite not really believing me, even after I showed him both positive clearblues, to his credit he was suitably excited. I have asked him not to tell Granny K until later. Dealing with Granny K when on preggy hormone high is only made worse by fact that Granny K knows and feels need to offer bits of crap advice. I must admit that with Marina she offered considerably less advice than when pregnant with Shou - but that probably because just about ate the silly woman's head off on number of occassions the first time.

Don't drink cold water or the baby will get a cold
Don't hang out the washing that way or baby will cord wrapped round head


I am glad I will be away from it all for two months.

Granny K pissed me off today - for first time in a while. She really doesn't think sometimes and is all I can do to not have a go at her. Hub took two bags of rice to be de-husked this morning. They had to be picked up at lunch time. He asked me to go and get them - fine, as only five hundred metres away. I am just trying to get the last of lunch into a reluctant Marina at approximately 11:28 when Granny K tells me have to go and get rice. I ask by what time I need to get it. She says 11:30. I actually just laughed at her. As if that's going to happen. Went down with Marina after lunch - had to take her as Granny K had swanned off to town with deaf vestling from temple next door.

I left the two fifteen kilo bags of de-husked rice in the back of the car thinking hub could get them out when he got home. Granny K got home and asked where I had put the rice and when told her, she promptly told me it had to be taken out and put in the store room or would go funny in the heat in back of car. This coming from woman who has been eating rice with mice droppings and rice roaches in it for past year.

I ran outside in my socks, muttering obscenities, and lumped both bags to storeroom in one go. Should have swung one round head and accidentally belted her over head with it.

Once back inside she then stood in the doorway to our living room clapping and flapping her hands at Marina well I tried to change her nappy - am trying to finish off packet of nappy nappies I bought by mistake instead of the pull-ups. Very hard to put on a wriggly baby. I had to give Granny K the stop hand. Talk to the hand Granny K. She left us alone the rest of the day until dinner time, when she felt need to inform me that she thougt Marina didn't like what I was feeding her. I told her Marina now at age when spitting out food is actually fun and if she didn't like what she was being fed I would be seeing a lot more of it on the floor and smashed onto her bald head and face.

It is always just small things that piss me off - and am sure a lot of you think they are far too trivial and I should just pull my head in and not let her get to me. But it is just so bloody ongoing. A lot of the stuff I do let slide off but god damn it, now that I have an excuse for being a bitch for the next nine months I may as well use it.

I am going to have to get me and the bun in the bath and up to bed. Must add here that Shou went to bed by self tonight - I read him a story and tucked him in and then left his room with door open and hall light on. We had three or four out of beds but in the end he did go to sleep on his own. This is good. Will have to 'ganbaru' with this until Marina and I go to hospital and then get hub to continue on. At least then there will be one less thing for my own mother to have a go at me about when we go home - she who is disallussioned in thinking that all of us four kids were model babies and toddlers, slept through night from day one and definately by the age of nearly two and a half were sleeping on own - she was shocked when I said we put Shou to bed and talked and sang with him until he fell asleep (usually about a thirty minute ritual)

It would seem that as per usual my mother has gone another day without deciding to update herself with goings on of youngest daughter and two grandchildren living in Japan.

No angst here (well not much).

Maybe should start getting a bit teary and having first mushy preggy woman moment.



illahee said...

i seriously couldn't live with my MIL. the little snipes would probably have her dead by my hand in a week!

Gina said...

I agree whole heartedly too! I could not live with my MIL. We'd have surely killed each other by now. So to me, you are a saint, honestly you are.

I've had about 2 huge giant blow outs with mine. And about 5 or so littler ones. Most time I bite my tongue though... but my MIL really knows how to push my buttons. Do things on purpose. Give me advice constantly when not asked.

Let me just give you some examples. When pregnant with my first son. And I was at her house for about 3 month's during that time, we were spending the summer with his folks is why to visit. Which was huge mistake. She told me, I was "doing everything for my pregnancy wrong and she was 100% positive something would be wrong with my baby" Come on....who tells a first time mom, something will be wrong with her baby. She left me in tears Gaijin wife!!! Tears!

When my first son was born and I was trying to breast feed and yes I was new and inexperienced, she moved my son's mouth from my breast and it actually cut or tore my nipple a bit and it bled. Sure it heeled just fine and back to normal but not really the point. How could she do that to me. I think she did that on freaking purpose.

She wanted to stay and help me after I gave birth by the way. No, what that really meant is she wanted to tell me what a horrible mom I was. And I didn't need it. By day 3 out of being out of hospital. I got so mad one day because of something horrendous that she did to me. I was so pissed... we had a full blown out fight. She threatened to leave and I said, fine by me and I showed her the door! Yes I totally did and she left with suitcase in hand. Hubby said you can't just let her go...I said, yes I did! She was fine btw, she took taxi to my sister in laws. I needed to find my own way of mothering and she wasn't helping. And she wasn't helping me, by telling me 100 times a day what a crap mother I was.

Now years later. She does small shit. But she's still the same old MIL. Example, 2 pairs of shoes in genkan, mine and MIL's. Hubby at work and obviously she can't wear kids shoes. She went for a walk wearing my shoes. And no way, was I gonna wear hers. She always leaves our house and slips her feet into mine. What the hell? And there I am out running barefoot because the woman just stole my shoes. And she'll go and ask really sheepish...."ohhhh did I take your shoes by mistake?" Oh come on! You know you did! There's granny shoes and my normal shoes. And I'm not running outside with her granny shoes! Ha ha ha. And no I don't dare whip out another pair of mine because then she will wear mine her whole rest of our trip.

Or she will come over and know you should really rearrange your house differently or put a mirror in the genkan instead of that picture on the wall. I just smile, and smile. Last time she was here again she said, you should take that picture down in the genkan and hang a mirror. (I like that picture by the way) I told her...."you ought to maybe hang up a mirror in your genkan back in Osaka then. Since I know you don't have one. But my picture is staying. I tell you Gaijin MIL wouldn't know good taste, if it came and bit her on the nose! What nerve she had! Ha ha ha. But it's our house and if someday I put a mirror someplace I will... but it should be my choosing not hers.

Oh and sorry one more. Once at Thanksgiving. We invited over hubby's whole family to come and enjoy it with us. And so there we were about to eat in about 10 minutes, I was busy being a cook or waitress and waiting on them all hand and foot. And my MIL looks at our wedding picture we have in our dining area. She tells my new sister in law Satoe. Look at Gina on her wedding day, and now look at her, she's gained quite a few pounds since then. My father from America was also there. I just could not stand to be the butt end of her jokes while the whole family listened. And I just was so pissed she tried to offend me on Thanksgiving a day.. we should all be thankful and with loved ones. I again, got into heated battle. I stood up for myself and I told her in Japanese..."well you're not the same weight when I first met you either darling!" My god after that you could have heard a pin drop. But I held my ground and I stuck up for myself. My wonderful brother in law quickly changed the subject and our hackles went down. And that was about the last heated battle we got into. She knows by now, she says something stupid and I will bounce it right back. I really will.: )

Anyway, sorry so long Gaijin wife, but I just wanted to I said at the start. to me, you deserve a gold medal or to be given saint-hood. You live with her. I take my hat off to you. Because I couldn't do it. I know I couldn't. I understand when you talk about granny K, and I find myself always shaking my head in agreement or laughing right along with you. : ) Have a good weekend over there! : ) And again... I am sorry so long but the topic of MIL and my gosh I could fill a book about my own. So, yeah I do understand. : )

Sarah@mommyinjapan said...

We lived with my in-laws for the first four months after we moved to Japan. I learned a lot. For example, the night that Emi had a fever and was screaming her head off was not because she was teething but "because her brain was expanding faster than her head because we were teaching her too much". Seriously. My husband and I still have a laugh about that one!

gaijin wife said...

Nice to know I'm not alone - in the wanting to throttle my MIL. I have had the expanding brain fever one before - from Granny K and the kindy teachers. Big foreign head with big foreign expanding brain = fever. I also had Granny K advice about breast feeding and bathing when she has told me herself she was never able to breastfeed and couldn't put kids in bath cause her hands were too small!!