Wednesday, 10 September 2008

Nancy Drew Fired

I would make an absolutely crap detective. I just couldn't hold out. I had to say something. It was burning a hole in my throat. This is the very calm (which I think is scarier than bunny boiling sometimes) conversation that took place...

Scene - kids fed and bathed and playing with basket of clean washing on floor.

Me: So... I heard you were at Pachinko last night.
Hub: No I wasn't. Who told you that?
Me: Doesn't matter who. Why did you lie?
Hub: I didn't, I wasn't at Pachinko.
Me: Ok, Whatever...

a minute passes

Hub: So, who told you that?
Me: So you did go?
Hub: No, I had tax collection work round there so someone could have seen my car.
Me: Ok, Whatever...

a minute passes

Hub: I only went in for a minute.
Me: So you did lie. I was at home knee deep in vomit and wee and you were at Pachinko.
Hub: I was only there for about twenty minutes.
Me: That's funny, I went past at seven and your truck was there and you walked in the door at eight twenty eight.
Hub: Ok, so maybe an hour or so.
Me: Where did you get the money?
Hub: from transport fees from work (when they go away for work they get petrol money reimbursed and such - this always gets paid in the hand)
Me: I'm not going to ask how long it's been going on because I doubt you will give me a straight answer. I doubt it was a one off.


me: I really can't handle the lieing.
Hub: I'm sorry
me: did you go with XXXX from work?
Hub: (look of surprise) it was a coincidence.
me: I'm seeing his wife tomorrow. Maybe I'll mention it (bitchy I know)
Hub: Please don't get XXXX in trouble too. I promise I won't go again.
me: It's not the going so much as telling me you are working when you aren't.

So. He did try to talk his way out of it - and failed. He was definately surprised I knew - and impressed I went to the extent of piling kids in car and driving round Kunimi. He did appologise and promised to tell me next time. He has since put Shou to bed and washed all the dishes.

I am going to let it go for the moment. I grilled him about his business trip to the city on Friday - who, where, what, why, when, how. He got pissed off. I told him he had to earn his trust back. He put his tail between his legs. Woof woof.

Must admit calm conversations are better on my Japanese than full on warzone fights involving flying mobile phones.

Off for soak in bath.


PS - took Marina to doctors to get raised lump thingy on back of neck checked out. Nothing to worry about. Is an Epidurma Nevus or something - like a birthmark that about one in a thousand babies get. Might get bigger but, once hair grows, wont be able to see it. It can always be cut off apparantly.


Sarah@mommyinjapan said...

Good for you! I think talking about it straight away was a good choice. I was going to comment yesterday that you should just confront him nicely but I didn't get a chance to get back to the computer to do it.

Also, I agree, that pachinko isn't so bad, but the not telling is the part that sucks. I hope he remembers that lesson.

My husband and I have been married for almost eleven years now and there's nothing that frustrates me more than when he doesn't just tell me what he's thinking or feeling. He *hates* confrontation so he'd rather just not say even if it's something that's not a big deal. Slowly he's figuring it out and especially in the last few years our communication skills have gotten way better.

Also, since I'm commenting, I love how you refer to sex as "international relations"! That's hysterical!

gaijin wife said...

Hub won't be involved in any international relations meetings for a while - although he gets a few points for trying tonight. Pouring on the sap.

tj-injapan said...

I find that when I am seriously angry/upset about something, I can discuss it calmly (whereas the stupid stuff like not turning the toilet light off EVERY time he goes ends up in the ol' flying phone scenario. wierd hey?)
At least you found out where the dosh for pachinko was coming from. Hope hub works hard over the next few weeks to redeem himself. Okonomiyaki is definately a start!