Tuesday, 12 August 2008

A real SAHM

I was a real stay at home mother today. I had to look after two whole kids for the whole day. Shou, despite being diseased, was in fine form - including a thirty minute pre-nap mega melt. Very spectacular, almost worth trying to video the next one and uploading to youtube - if had even remotely technologically-minded computer or self.

Must say a thank you to Granny K.

Thank you Granny K!!!

perhaps better say again seeing as such a rare occurrance

Thank you Granny K!!

She looked after Marina (kept an ear out for her while she was asleep) this morning so that I could take over-active two year old brother to park to play on pirate ship and roller slide. Then we had fun putting money in the vending machine for juice and picking which seat to sit on to drink on. All fun and games.

I then had to run some errands - well, actually I had written them off for another day thinking I wouldn't be able to get out of the house. The post office - to send a parcel to sister in New Zealand. Yet again the inbred post office workers had a hard time trying to sort out international postage and am lucky parcel isn't half way to Nigeria - which is where lady pushed first. Next stop was the bank where I FINALLY (sorry Ruth) got round to sending money to Ireland. Has only taken about nine months. Could have had another baby in that time. God, the thought. Actually had scary moment few weeks ago when hub and I had a bit of a romp in the hay and I miscalculated dates and - rah rah - for a week or two there I thought I might be the proud mother of three kids under three.

Anyway, after the bank I stopped in at photo shop to order two more passport pics for Marina's Japanese passport application. Then we did a drive by of the bread shop and then home to find Granny K picking tomatoes in the vege patch way out the back of the house. Luckily Marina was still in slumber and hadn't missed being 'kept an eye on'. When she woke up she had a we jump in the jolley jumper while I spent half an hour blowing up the biggest 'mejiron' (national games mascot) beach ball every made, followed in quick succession by blowing up Shou's paddling pool - which I first had to go in comando style search of under the stairs. Too much air blowing led to a bit of faintness that can only be likened to state after bottle of champers.

This was the result...

Paddling pool that resembles boobs after breastfeeding two kids in two years. Bit of sagging must be compulsory when having boobs sucked and pulled ten times a day. As for nude pic of Shou - hope doesn't get found and uploaded onto child porn site. I was more hoping Shou would debut with Japanese Boy Band. Will have to grow his hair longer and learn how to backflip though.

After splash in paddling pool with giant mushroom Shou, still in the nude, and I spent a good ten minutes trying to catch the biggest grasshoper you have ever seen. Looked almost juicy. During that breif ten minutes, postman pat, and his black and white cat, and the local agricultural magazine drop off guy, and the Granny K yoghurt delivery lady all rocked on up - witnessing naked son running rampage round garden. No doubt will be all over Kunimi by tomorrow that the foreign woman can't be bothered dressing her son and that in New Zealand kids must all run round nudies all day.

Granny K looked after Marina for an hour this afternoon while I took Shou on a nature walk on his Thomas the Tank Engine bike. We saw a turtle, a snake, countless frogs and crabs, dragonflies, a vestling in an automated wheel chair driving through the skinny rice paddy road, and an old man in his long johns cutting the grass. Very educational. When we got home Granny K was in fact playing with Marina - who appeared to be OK and even holding a toy - as opposed to lighter, tree pruners or bottle of adult vitamins.

I somehow - and I still don't know how - managed to vacuum, ahhhh I remember - the vacuuming only got done because pretended vaccum was snake chasing Shou round house, tidying and making of dinner. Curry. Easiest dinner known to man kind. If I was a stay at home mum of two children every day I don't know how I would get anything more time consuming on the table. Apricot stuffed chicken breasts would have to wait until the kids left home.

Hub came home straight after work. We had dinner and the kids had their bath and went to bed without a fuss. I went to next town over to get friend to sign form for Marina's passport - via the supermarket where I had a conversation with a vestling man who lives down the road from us. We spoke for about five minutes, laugh laugh, yes yes, and at the end of it I had no idea what he had said. His wife sees us and comes over and asks me...

wife: it's really hot isn't it
me: yes, very
wife: the kids aren't with you
me: (obviously) no, they are asleep.
wife: it's really hot isn't it
me: yes, very

HUSBAND: we just had the same converstian what are you asking her the same things for?

Thank god I got that sorted out.

Arrived home at half eight. Hub is in good form - no doubt after last nights over zealous escapades. So predictable. Don't need to talk to man to keep him in your good books. Shag thy man and thy man will wash your dishes, put thy kids to bed, pour thy a wine, and scratch thy back. Have the shag on offer for later that night and thy man may well also scrub bath ring, polish silver (if had any) and hand wash laundry.

God, but two nights in a row might be pushing it.



illahee said...

ROTFL love it!

i totally need to get a job so i can send the kids off to day care....

Nay said...


illahee said...

rolling on the floor laughing. you kill me babe!

gaijin wife said...

rolling on the floor laughing! ROTFL. That's good. Must get up to date on blog vocab. illahee - daycare is best invention known to mankind. worth every yen - and shou seems to like it too : )

Gina said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog, because after reading yours this morning, I have to tell ya, you are *so* gosh darn funny! You really really are! : )

I also have a mother in law, and not so crazy about her either! : ) Have extended the olive branch so many times, only to be smacked and whacked with them in return! So your blog just makes me smile!!! : )